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#'hey i don't vibe with that person or agree with them let's hit that block button for my peace and well being'
catoscloves · 4 months
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jojomiwbvb6 · 3 months
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The Shower Scene, Pt. 4
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Taglist: @emzandthevoid @mentallynot-here @bloodymug @sprokat @princesspeach-00 @ghoulsquad @missduffsblog @yeehaw-my-guys @lma1986 @artificialbreezy
Author's Note: I apologize for taking so long to do this chapter! I have had a bit of writer's block and I have been busy doing a lot lately. This will be the finale to this series, I really hope you enjoy! Feel free to give me more ideas! I was thinking of writing some Sasuke or Itachi fics as well.
Warnings: 18+, MDNI, NSFW. Extremely long and descriptive smut, unprotected p-in-v (be safe about it, or use condoms please), overstimulation, degradation, praise, oral (female receiving), punishment, spanking, swearing, squirting, casual alcohol consumption
PSA: this is very obviously a work of fiction, and should in no way be taken seriously or literally. this piece of fiction uses real people in fictional and fantastical mindsets--and it is in no way a representation of the real person or who they are as a whole. Thank you for coming to our ted talk.
--
Atlanta.
The humid wind hits your face, the city never motionless around you. You inhale the air, closing your eyes and letting your body relax. Your nerves are completely jumbled and overstimulated as your mind mulls over the past week so far.
The pictures of yourself flash through your head. Noah's words flooding your mind. You can't escape the anxiety it brought you, and the excitement of your actions.
You stared at your feet, black vans reflected against tan concrete as you stood against the bus. Twiddling your thumbs and exhaling heavily, you turn to Davis as he approaches you.
"Hey, kid! Some of the guys were just thinking of exploring the botanical gardens and the zoo and maybe going for some grub, wanna come?" He smiles at you, raising an eyebrow for an inviting answer.
"Shit, bro, I'm down." You agree and smile back. It was the first day off in over a week and you were grateful for it. You were looking forward to moments with Noah, but you also needed to get out and do something else for once.
As you and Davis caught up with the group, consisting of both you two, Ruffilo, Noah, Matt, and Jolly (the rest went off to do other things), you could hear their jesting and cackles even from a ways back.
"Morning guys!" You say, smiling and out of breath.
"Hey (Y/N)!" You were greeted by multiple of them.
Noah turned, walking backwards. "Hey, (Y/N)," he smirks lazily, waving his hand, drawing his eyes over you subtly and licking his lips.
You huff, catching his eyes and offering a suggestive smile. "Hi, Noah." He smiles back at you, and then turns back around to continue walking. You admire his long, toned frame as he took smooth strides forward.
--
All of you thoroughly enjoyed the relaxing and wondrous vibes of the gardens and the culture of the city. Having been walking and exploring for over 2 hours, you all decide to pause your activities for a bit of lunch.
"What should we eat? I'm starving, man," Ruffilo comments.
"Hmm. Haven't had Chipotle in a while," Davis replies.
"How about sushi?" Matt adds.
You're silent. Honestly, you're so hungry, you don't even care what you guys eat. Anything sounds good.
Noah steps up beside you. "Sushi sounds fuckin' fantastic," he agrees.
When the others aren't paying any attention, Noah leans into your ear quickly and quietly, "I'm hungry for something else, though."
You almost gasp when he leans away, giving a quick caress to your ass while the others are walking away. He casually smirks at you, continuing to walk in the direction of the Japanese sushi bar on the corner.
Your face felt hot, and you were fighting the frustrated blush that crept up your face. You were nearly hyperventilating and you couldn't help it. You took a deep breath of the next gust of Georgia wind that caressed your face, composing yourself and catching back up with the group.
--
"Fuck, this hits the spot dude." Matt comments, and you're nodding along with the rest of the guys.
"Hell yeah."
You're all sitting at the table, a whole boat of sushi in front of you and then some. Ruffilo is sipping on sake while all of you make small chit chat.
"Hey! Ruffilo! Let me try some of that," you say.
"Ever had sake?" Ruffilo says.
"No," you state, taking the small white cup from his hands.
"What!" You hear half of the table exclaim, with pleas of interest in you trying the drink.
You slowly take a sip. Instantly the taste of the Japanese alcohol hits your tongue and you're writhing. "Yuck! Oh! That's revolting!"
Cracks of laughter erupt from the table. Soon, you are laughing as well.
"That's enough of that," you joke.
After lunch, you all go shopping and walk around downtown. After several hours of being out and having free time the whole day, it was time to return to the hotel that was booked for the night. In the morning, you would quickly pack up and shuffle back onto the bus for Orlando, Florida.
--
Walking away from the bus with a suitcase in hand and backpack over your shoulder, you step into the hotel. You stop at the front desk to get your keycard from the receptionist.
"Room for (Y/L/N), please."
"Ahh," she pauses, typing on her keyboard. "We don't have a room here, I'm afraid..."
You frown. "All of these rooms should have been pre-booked," you state. Your mind frantically searches for a solution. You begin to list the several names of the other crew members and band members, but most were already in their rooms. You thought of one more name.
Oh, you thought. He didn't!
"There may be another name," you try. "Sebastian?"
The receptionist, looking mildly annoyed now, huffs and types in the name. You ignore her annoyance, watching patiently. A look of resolve crosses the receptionist's face. You feel hopeful.
He did.
"Hmm," she says. "It appears one more keycard is available for this room. Just sign this document and you may have your keycard."
You fill out the appropriate paperwork, signing on the line. The receptionist pulls the paper back to her and slides the keycard across the counter. You exchange your thanks.
"Room 207, 3rd floor." The woman tells you and turns away.
You don't waste anymore time. As you walk down the hall to the elevator, the smirk on your face grows 10 miles wide, confidence enveloping you.
You knew exactly why he'd done it, and frankly, you weren't about to protest. Your heart slams into your chest with every sound of your heels and the roll of the suitcase wheels on the carpet.
You take a deep breath as you step onto the elevator.
--
207.
The silver numbers glint as you stand parked in front of the door. He was inside there already, waiting for you to come in. You exhale shakily as you grip the door handle, and you hesitate.
Closing your eyes, you begin to smirk. This is what you've been fiending after for several weeks. Taking another deep breath, you slide the keycard into the door.
The lock clicks and you twist the handle, allowing yourself into the room.
You analyze your surroundings. One lamp is on in the dimly lit room. A small walkway leading into a rather spacious double bed. There was a desk to the left, and a mini kitchen straight ahead. The bathroom immediately to the left. Without paying further attention, you walk to a bed and set your bag down on it.
You didn't seem to notice Noah, maybe he'd left the room for something. You shrug, bending over to open up your suitcase and lay it out.
Without you noticing, Noah slips out of the bathroom and leans against the wall, examining the rear view you're giving him.
"Well, well, already bending over? Princess, I haven't even taken off your clothes yet," Noah chuckles darkly.
You swear you jump 10 feet into the air, yelping loudly. If he hadn't scared you, his words would've gone straight to your core. "Noah Sebastian, for crying out loud!" You laugh and smack his shoulder. "Don't do that!" You both share a chuckle.
You can feel Noah decreasing the distance between you two and your laughter begins to fade. Noah's eyes flutter over you, landing on your eyes, your mouth, your breasts, feeling overwhelmed pleasantly.
You found yourself licking your lips. You begin to turn away.
Faster than the flick of a wrist, Noah's hand shoots up, gripping your jaw and squeezing your cheeks together. You are both silent, the tension shooting higher than ever.
You go to grab his hand and you are immediately caught by his other hand. He grips your wrist tightly, but not painfully. Noah's eyes change into dangerous slits and a playfully evil smirk takes over his features.
"The way that you have been torturing me has been driving me insane," Noah whispers into your ear. You want to collapse on the spot.
He begins walking you slowly backwards.
"You've been such a fucking brat, too, getting me hot for you at the worst times..." His hot breath fans your face, your own breath quickening in pace.
"The only thing I can think about is how I'm going to having you praying to me when I'm done ravaging you." You feel your hips hit the desk behind you.
"Noah..." you whisper.
He pulls at your face until you're eye to eye with him. He chuckled darkly.
"That's my fucking name," he growls into your ear. "And you're never going to forget it."
His hands leave your face and your wrist. Gripping your hips, he lifts you onto the desk and shoves you on it. He pulls you against his own hips, and his left hand rises to tangle in your hair.
Noah's cologne invades your senses, addicted to the scent. He tugs at the strands, inflicting a raspy moan from you. "How beautiful," Noah mumbles, helping himself to your inviting lips.
You both kiss as if life were going to end. His fingers flex against your clothed hips, pulling at your shirt and caressing you. Your tongues slipped against each other, nipping and suckling at each other's lips.
You wrapped your legs around Noah's hips, pulling him closer. Noah pulls away from your lips. Smirking, he pulls up your shirt with ease and tossed it away somewhere on the floor behind you.
"Such pretty, pretty tits..." he drawls, giant hands cupping them and he flicks a nipple. You gasp. Noah moves up your body, leaning over to envelope a taut nipple into his warm mouth. He flicks at it with the tip of his tongue and you moan quietly.
He pops off of you and smirks wickedly, and feigns a look of concern. "Is that just too much pleasure for you? Should I stop?"
"N-no! No, please, don't stop," You almost choke.
Noah stands. His bulge is prominent against his sweatpants and you almost drool. It seems so big and you can't focus on anything but the need you feel. Your core is hot and you squirm.
"Such a needy fucking slut." He pulls your body forward, running a hand oh-so-low but not enough.
You mewl as his fingers creep to your covered pussy and slowly tease the bud.
"Mmm.." you groan and Noah chuckles.
"Like that, babygirl?"
You nod.
"Too bad." Noah stops and you whine. "Enough of that. Strip,"
"Yes, sir."
Noah chuckles. "Such good manners for me. So desperate."
By now, you're a puddle of pleasure and you want it to swallow you whole. Noah sits on the edge of the bed as you peel your pants off your shaking legs. You remove your panties, tossing them aside.
"So pretty," he comments. "Come here and lay across my lap."
You obey, positioning yourself across his lap.
"Before we begin, is this something you're okay with me doing to you?"
"Absolutely," you confirm. "I can take it."
Noah hums in understanding. "Such arrogance. You will learn."
His hands begin to touch and caress the flesh of your behind, shaking the cheeks and watching them jiggle with satisfaction. He rubs in slow circles. His hand leaves your ass, forming a cup-shape, and crack.
The first spank stings, and you gasp out. His hand returns to rub the welt.
"Here's how this is going to go. You will get five spanks for our first time. This is your punishment for being such a slut," he rubs slowly. "If you fail to complete the spanking, I'll fuck your mouth. I won't stop if you choke or gag."
You whimper and nod your head.
"I'm glad you understand. If you succeed, princess, I'll have a taste of you for myself."
You mewl, squirming in his lap. "Now, now," he warned you. "Count for me." You nod frantically, wanting so desperately to please him. Although, you wouldn't complain if you failed the test.
The first two spanks were easy. His hand fell on tandem and you dutifully stated each number with each gasp and whimper he pulled from you. You really didn't think you could fail, how could you? Sure, it stung a little, but you could handle it.
As "three" fell from your lips, the usual soothing rub came to ease the sting.
"Everything okay, princess?"
"Yes, sir."
"May I proceed?"
"Yes, sir."
"Good girl," he whispered, making you squirm. He chuckled darkly. He pulled apart your cheeks, and leaned down. "Mmm, princess... so wet for me. Oh, I bet you're just aching. Let me help you..."
Noah dipped his fingers in between your legs. His fingers slid between the wet folds and you jolt. His other hand keeps you still and you're left victim to his merciless tease. He softly rubs into your wet heat and you're left mewling against his leg, head hanging.
Noah rubs the tip of his middle finger into your clit. "How's that?"
You nod frantically, unable to speak against his onslaught. At your response, he removes his fingers from your heat and resumes the next spank. The fourth spank is rougher and harder than the last.
"F-four!" You cry out, struggling to hold the composure that remained. "P-please, Noah, I--"
"Hush," he demanded. He caressed the welt, the red marks on your ass much to his liking. "One more for me, princess. You can do it."
Without any warning, Noah's fingers slip once again against your heat. Only this time, he doesn't relent. He teases and pinches your clit and you squirm, earning a dark chuckle from him.
Noah slides his fingers up to your entrance and sinks one finger inside of you and you moan.
"Noahhh, this isn't fair!"
"Be quiet, and don't you dare cum, or you lose," he threatens, and you obey with whimper after whimper as he pumps his finger in and out of you.
He adds another finger, and begins assaulting your clit with the other hand. You're an absolute mess against his lap, his fingers scissoring inside you and rutting against your g-spot. Bliss and pleasure overwhelms you, getting close to the brink as Noah's fingers continue to pump into you, faster and harder.
Your whimpers begin to form into cries, pleading for him to let you cum. Your eyes begin to roll back and you're trying to push back onto his fingers to get more from him.
"You like that baby?" He whispers in your ear. "Gonna cum?"
You nod, mouth agape. Noah smirks and removes his fingers entirely. You groan in frustration, and, as sly as he is, catches you off guard with the fifth and final spank.
Your brain almost can't comprehend the pleasure your body feels, the sting sending you into shock and you almost forget your task.
"F-f-five..." you stutter.
His large, long hands caress both cheeks of your ass and a kiss is planted onto the red welt on the swell of it.
"You're such a good, good girl, princess. I'm impressed. Good job," Noah praises you. "Lay down on your back for me."
You slowly get up and crawl onto the hotel bed mattress and lie down on the cushiony pillows.
"Spread your pretty legs, don't be shy."
You let your legs fall apart, spread against the sheets. Noah sucks in a breath and hums in satisfaction. He crawls up the bed to you, pulling his shirt off and tossing it aside as you had. Your eyes feast on the tattoos covering his body.
"God, princess, you're so fucking wet," you moan at his words and he dives in. Noah's tongue licks a wet stripe up your core from your entrance to your clit. You cry out, hands immediately finding his hair. Noah hums and you quiver, the vibrations stimulating you.
He licks into your folds with fervor, as if he hadn't eaten all day. His tongue dances and pokes at your entrance, pleasure spiking and you're squirming against his mouth. Noah laps at your clit, boldly taking the bud into his mouth and sucking at it. He then takes it into his mouth, swirling the sensitive area against his tongue, dancing in circles.
"Noah!!" you cry.
You arch your back, eyes rolling back as you grip his hair and pull, and he groans. Noah adjusts his position, shoving your legs up and he dives deeper into your pussy. He shoves his tongue up into it, swirling it and shaking his head like a rabid dog. You're practically crying out, thrusting against his face and leaving it a wet mess.
Offering you his fingers again, he dives against your clit once more, nipping at it and sucking it; this time, he aids his mouth with his fingers. Thrusting two digits in, his long fingers find your g-spot again. He mercilessly pokes at it, unrelenting with his tongue and fingertips. You're moaning and a mess and it's almost too much.
Your eyes see nothing but stars in the back of your head and you're moaning loudly. You cum and rut onto his mouth. "Fuck, fuck," you gasp.
Noah pops off of your pussy. "Tastes... so good..." he gasps. "I want more."
"I want you so bad, Noah," you whine. "I want you to fuck me."
"What a dirty mouth," he comments, stinking a finger in your mouth as he caresses your jaw. You wrap your lips around his finger and lock eyes with him. You suck and lock eyes with him. He smiles, and removes his finger.
Noah removes his pants and slides his boxers down his slim legs. The only thing you can do is lay there, mouth agape at the beautiful artwork before you. You bite your lip, you just can't wait.
He comes back to you, and you gasp in surprise when he forces your legs against your chest. Noah captures his lips in yours and lines his cock up with your entrance. He wastes no time in sinking in slowly. Due to your wetness, he slides in easily and sinks in as far as he's able. You're both gasping and long moans escape from your mouths and the intense heat between each other's legs.
He begins to move slowly, enjoying the teasing ways your walls grip his cock, threatening to take him deep.
"Fuck, baby... your pussy is just so fucking wet..." he mumbles. A low groan erupts from him, eliciting a moan from you.
His pace begins to quicken and he ruts in deeper. He just can't help himself when you give him the go-ahead by moaning louder.
Pretty soon, the room is filled with explicit sounds from the two of you. The sound of skin slapping fills the room and you're moaning. You're both mumbling the dirtiest phrases to each other, getting each other hotter and higher.
"Fuck" is the only word you chant as he thrusts into you like his life depends on it. He's fucking you hard and unforgiving.
"This pussy is mine," Noah growls into your ear, and you moan.
"Noah!!" You cry as his pace picks up, desperate and greedy. Skin slaps skin, near stinging, relentless. You can't help it when you cum, creating such a sinful sight for Noah as your wetness coats your legs and his cock.
He growls. "Fuck, I'm not done with you yet!" He pulls out and turns you over into doggy, pushing your stomach down and pulling your ass into the air.
He enters you again, finding his rhythm. Pulling you back against his hips in every thrust.
"Take me, take me, take me," you cry out.
Noah groans, picking up his pace. He twists his fingers into the strands of your hair, pulling your head back. He pounds into you, and at this angle the pleasure is overstimulating as his cock hits your spot over and over. He pulls you further back, forcing you to rise to your hands, the pace unforgiving and tears fall down your cheeks.
"Noah!" You cry once more.
Juices run down your legs as you cum one more time, but Noah doesn't seem to be done. You're worn out and fucked into bliss, drooling against the pillow. You can't think and your voice is hoarse.
He groans loudly, letting you know he's almost ready. You push back on his cock and he growls. Wrapping a hand around your throat and squeezing gently, he begins fucking in quick ruts. "Fuck, princess, (Y/N)!"
He pulls out of you, his cock glistening and pulsing as his cum shoots out in pearls against your stomach. You moan, but Noah isn't done.
His hand goes to your clit and he smirks. You cry out at the fast quick pace he uses on you, his fingers insert inside of you to smash against your g-spot in one final assault.
"Cum, (Y/N), one more for me," he insists. He doesn't stop, and quickens his pace.
"Noah, please!" You beg, too overstimulated and sensitive.
He doesn't listen, yet urges you towards an orgasm that feels like a tsunami coming for you.
It happens before you can stop yourself, your cum coming out in such a powerful wave that you squirt a little, making such a mess.
This absolutely pleases Noah and he smiles. "Perfect." He kisses your cheek. "You are wonderful." He praises.
You both lay there, panting and laughing, praising one another.
"Shower?"
"I think so."
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sapphireplums · 4 years
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You’re Not Alone
Description: Y/N Barber the twin sister of Jacob Barber decided to go for a jog one day, but who knew her whole life can change in matters of seconds.
Warnings: angst, language, sexual assault -DON'T READ IF YOU’RE NOT COMFORTABLE
Pairing: Andy Barber x Daughter!Reader Jacob Barber x Sister!Reader
A/N:  if any of you guys have ever been assaulted in any type of way, i'm so sorry that has happened to you. you guys are all beautiful and strong human beings. if anyone wants to talk my inbox is open :) 
While reading this, listen to lovely by billie eilish. it really sets the mood for the story. 
 REQUESTS ARE OPEN BABES
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A second. It only took seconds for you to not pick up your phone call from your brother. It was one of those moments where you did not to pick up the phone because you were distracted. But because of that, it almost cost you your life. 
 THREE HOURS BEFORE THE ASSAULT
♧ 
You and your older twin brother Jacob were walking home from school arguing about what dog is cuter. You know, the ususal twin stuff.
“No, Jake, German Shepherds are the cutest dog out.” You said with confidence.
“No, Y/N, Corgi’s are the cutest obviously.” Your twin brother kept saying. “ And I'm obviously right because I'm older than you by 49 seconds.”
He always used the ‘older twin’ card on you.
The argument lasted about a few minutes until you guys just gave up and agreed that they were both cute. However, in your mind , you kept saying German Shepherds were better.
“I’m hungry Jake. What do you think we’re going to have for dinner tonight?” You said as your stomach was rumbling.
“ You thinking what I’m thinking?” Jacob said with a smirk knowing that your twin telepathy was tingling. 
“Ohhh yessss.” Then you both shouted at the same time:
“KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN.” 
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When you guys got home, you saw your mom on the couch typing something on her laptop. 
“Hey kids, how was school today?” Laurie said looking up from her laptop.
“It was good mom” You said and you gave Jacob the look basically saying ‘tell mom we want kfc’
Jacob groaned. “Mom can we get kfc for dinner? Me and Y/N have been craving it for a while”
“Is that your guys’ twin thingy where you want the same thing and think the same thing?” Laurie said smiling at the thought of  how her kids got along so well and had a strong sibling bond.
“ Yes mom, yes it is.” you said as chips were being stuffed into your mouth. “But can we actually get kfc though? Jake and I have been craving it for a while.”
“Sure you guys, I’ll pick it up around the time you dad will come home”
“Thanks Mom.” You both said at the same time. 
Going up to your guys’ room, Jacob turned on his video games while you were watching YouTube. 
He was talking to his gaming friend through the earpiece yelling words at him and the tv.
You just rolled your eyes and smiled slightly at your brothers actions. Closing your laptop, you looked outside the window and saw that it was a nice day, so you asked Jacob if he wanted to take a jog with you. 
“ Hey Jake, do you want to take a jog with me? It’s really nice outside right now.”
“ Sorry, maybe not this time sis. I’m really into this game.” Jacob said making you frown slightly.
“It’s okay Jake maybe next time.” Jacob turned his head towards you and smiled in agreeance. 
You got ready and then tied your shoes when you were near the door. 
“Mom, I’m going for a jog!” You yelled as you finished tying your shoes. 
“Okay honey be home before dinner.” Your mom said as she was washing the dishes. 
Running around the block, you took in the fresh air of the moisture that was in the air. Living in Massachusetts also meant wet weather which you loved. Summer wasn't really your favorite season but it was Jacobs. Being twins doesn’t mean you all like the same thing.
You and Jacob had the best sibling relationship not because you were twins, but that you just bonded in general. There is nothing he wouldn’t do for you and you thought the same.
Getting tired from the constant running, you decided to take a walking break and scroll through Instagram. As you were scrolling, your screen lit up with your dads contact picture. It was the two of you on a fishing trip making funny faces.
“Hey dad how’s work?” You asked slightly out of breath due to the running. 
“ Hey Sweetheart, after work I’m going to go to the grocery store and get those cookies you really like and I was thinking you and I can have a movie night?” 
“Dad, you know I’m always up for movie night” you chuckled. “What about Jake and mom?”
“Mom texted me saying that she was going to go shopping for swim trunks or something and Jake is going too so it's just going to be you and me.” 
“Okay dad, sounds good to me can’t wai-” 
“I’m sorry honey I have to go back now, I’ll see you at home. I love you.”
“I love you too dad.” He hung up the phone rather quickly but you didn’t think much of it because you were going to see him at home anyways
Well so you thought. You thought you were going to be home at your normal time. Thinking that it would just be another normal day, but it would be far from that.
After the short walking break and talking to your dad, you decided to start your jogging again. Jogging was one of the activities you liked to do after a long day to release the stress that was contained in you. Sometimes you would go with Jacob but today he didn’t feel like it.
Imagine if you just stayed on call a little longer with your dad or if Jacob went with you. Everything would be different. Every decision you make on a day to day basis affects your life.
When jogging,  up ahead you saw a man drop a box full of what looked like children's toys like dolls and race cars. Being the nice person you were, You approached the man and helped him pick up the toys.
Oh what a big mistake. 
“Oh, sir, let me help you with that,” you said bending down picking up the toys that were on the ground. 
“Thank you so much, darling,” the man said with a somewhat creepy smile, but you brushed it off.
Your phone started to buzz and you saw your screen light up with Jacob’s face, but you ignored it as you were still helping the man.  You were thinking of just calling Jacob back later when you had the chance. 
If you had the chance.
After helping the man, he stated his thanks to you. 
“Thank you again, honey,” you really started to get freaked out by this man especially since he was calling you these names. 
You gave him a nervous smile. “  You’re welcome, but I should get going now,” you said but before you could turn around and go back home, the man grabbed your wrist tightly, preventing you from going anywhere. 
“You are right where I want you sweetheart”
Before you could scream, he covered your mouth with a wet towel. The smell was really bad. Next thing you know, you’re knocked out like a light switch. 
You woke up with a pounding headache. Trying to flutter your eyes open, you noticed you were in the backseat of a van. The next thing you saw made you panic. Your hands tied with your feet attached to them making it look like a fetus position. 
Before you could try and do anything, the man opened the doors to the van, revealing a wicked grin. Your eyes grew wide when he started to grow closer to you with duct tape. 
“Shhh don’t worry love I won't take long.”
You were confused what he meant by that. What did he mean he won’t take long?
That’s when it hit you like a truck. You were about to get raped. 
He started to put his hands around your breasts, trailing it up to your cheeks. He held your cheeks and stared into your eyes intently. This is when the tears started to come out. You couldn’t say anything since your mouth was duct taped, but you tried to move frantically though it didn’t do anything.
He started to take down his pants and he basically ripped your leggings in half.
Why did this have to happen? You were only being a good person, helping a man, and this is what happens in return.
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DURING THE SAME TIME AT HOME
Jacob was starting to get worried and anxious. It’s been over an hour and you wouldn’t answer your phone. He probably called you literally a hundred times but still no answer. He asked your mom to call you to see if you would answer.
It went straight to voicemail.
Jacob started to panic even more. He decided to call your guys’ dad to see if he knows where you were.
The line started to ring. Then he picked up.
“Hey Jake, I was wondering if-” he was cut off by Jacob frantically asking him if he knew where you were.  
“Dad! Did Y/N ever call you or anything?” Jacob frantically said to his father. 
“ I talked to her about a couple hours ago, is everything alright?
“I-I don’t know dad. She didn’t come home after her jog and I’m getting a really bad twin vibe” 
“Shit, okay Jake, I’ll be home as soon as I can.” With that Jacob hung up the phone. 
“God Y/N/N, I hope you’re okay” Jacob said with tears on the verge of coming out. 
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When you woke up, you noticed that the familiar smell around your mouth. The man must have knocked you out. A burning pain was prominent in the lower half of your body. Everything started to come together. With your ripped pants and the bruises all over your body, you pieced everything together. 
You were raped.
All of the thoughts in your head, you didn’t even notice that you were not in the van anymore, no, you were at a park.
This park was all too familiar. It was the park you and Jacob loved when you were kids. You got up but fell back down due to the agonizing pain. 
The pain was unbearable. Tears threatening to come out of your eyes when you wanted to forget what happened. 
But you couldn’t forget.
You laid there on the cold cement floor.
The Barbers were in panic when they couldn’t find you. They had called the cops after being gone for six hours. 
The police didn’t find you yet and frankly, they were doing a lousy job at it. 
“Fuck it, I’m going to go for a drive and see if I find her” Andy said while stomping towards the front door.
“I’m coming with you.” Jacob said without question.
His baby sister was missing, he couldn’t just stay home and do nothing. Andy shook his head.
“No, Jake you need to stay here with your mother.” Before Jacob could object, a officer wanted to question him maybe knowing where you could be. 
Andy drove around the neighborhood first, but no luck. He drove about another couple blocks where he stumbled upon a park. He knew the park. It was you and Jacob’s favorite park.
He slowly drove past the park to see if there was any luck. At this point, Andy almost gave up and went back home until he saw something.
Andy’s eyes widened with fear and joy when he saw you, his baby girl, at the park. But his smile fell when he saw you laying on the ground.
What if you were dead? Andy thought to himself
“ Oh my God, Y/N!!!” Andy basically sprinted towards you.
You could barely get out the words since your throat was sore from crying so much. 
“Daddy?!” You said weakly with tears on your cheeks and your eyes bloodshot from the crying. 
“Y/N what happened?” 
But before you could answer, he saw your ripped pants, bruises on your body and the blood coming out near your legs.
“Oh my God, Y/N please tell me you weren’t raped?” Andy said with sadness but also extreme anger knowing that there was a bastard out there who possibly touched you. 
You could barely get out the words but all you said was “ I was d-daddy.”
Andy was furious at this point his worst nightmare came true. 
“ Y/N I’m so sorry. If only I stayed on the phone with you a little longer I could have-” You interrupted your father knowing this wasn’t his fault. 
“Dad, this was not your fault.” 
Andy still looked at you with sad eyes, but despite what happened to you, he was just happy that you were alive. 
“Come on baby let's go home” Andy said while carrying you bridal style.
“ I’m so sorry dad. I was just helping this one guy and-and he-” 
You started to stumble on your words but your dad stopped you.
“ No no baby you don’t have to say anything now. But know Duffy might ask you some questions so we can catch the guy okay?”
You just nodded at your dads words not wanting to say anything. 
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On the drive home Andy heard you sniffling he reassured you with comforting words. 
“Honey, it’s okay, you’re safe now nobody is going to hurt you now.” 
You thought back to when Jacob was calling you. “ You know Jake called me when I was helping that man,” you started. “ If only I answered his call this probably wouldn-”
You were cut off by your father. “Y/F/N do not say that. None of this was your fault it was that son of a bitches fault” 
You were taken aback when your dad cussed and then you chuckled softly. “Woah dad, I didn’t know you tolerated that type of language” 
Andy just laughed, but before you could say anything else, you noticed you were home. 
Jacob and Laurie were outside talking to police officers, but they turned around and saw you in the car.
Jacob eyes widened and was the first to run towards you and give you a hug. When he broke the hug, he looked at you and saw your bruises which made him fume with anger, but he would worry about that later. He was just happy you were home.
“Y/N oh my god are you okay?!” you just nod your head. 
You went to give Laurie a hug which lasted short when a voice spoke up. 
“ Hi Y/N, I’m detective Duffy, I work with your father and I’m sorry to ask you this but we need to question you while your mind is fresh.”
“Duffy can’t this wait until later we just found her.” Andy said while looking back at his daughter.
“No dad it’s okay I’ll be fine.” Jacob gave you sad eyes of sympathy, but you gave him a reassuring smile. 
“So Y/N, tell me from the start of what happened?” Your family was there to support you. You wanted them to be there. 
You started from the beginning with the jog, the man dropping the toys, the chloroform, the van, the pain in your lower area, everything.
Laurie just cried into Andy’s shoulders while his fists were clenched white. He was so angry. No, not at you, but at the fact that he couldn’t protect you. 
Jacob held your hand the entire time while you told Duffy what happened. He was angry that he didn’t go on the jog with you. He was mad that he couldn’t protect his baby sister. 
“Im so sorry this has happened to you Y/N, you should have not gone through that. We will find the man and he will be punished for his crimes.” 
You nodded and smiled slightly at Duffy. 
After all the cops left, you didn’t know what to do. You were still traumatized.
Your head was resting on Andy’s lap and your legs were on Jacobs. You were dozing off, but you were scared to sleep or eve close your eyes. 
Everytime you closed your eyes, you just saw the man. Jacob seemed to notice this because you flinched a little. 
He rubbed your leg with reassurance telling you that you’re okay now. 
“ Y/N you can finally sleep now. We’re here for you, you don't have to worry about anything.” Jacob said to you
That's when everything broke. You couldn’t handle it anymore tears and sobs were everywhere.
Your family all gave you a hug with love evident in it. This is when you finally knew you were safe. 
You then spoke up while drying your tears. “Can we still get KFC?” you said with a smile. Everyone just laughed and that’s when you finally knew you had a loving family and you couldn’t be anymore thankful than that. 
A/N :OMGGg I cried writing some of this ahhhh. I might make a part 2 depending if I get any ideas and if this doesn’t flop. 
Taglist for ‘You’re Not Alone’;OPEN
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shortyisweird9 · 4 years
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'Lonely ghost serie'
"Babysitting is hard when you ,yourself, are a gremlin, baby"-part V
Tw⚠️: swearing, angsty vibes ( I think)
Your body moved in distress, turning the sheets all over as you left out a gasp of terror, your face clenching in pain. You have a nightmare, a usual occurrence that happens when you are stressed. Having such a big imagination, your dreams/ nightmares came vividly, with excruciating details. You could see them in colour however the images were blurry, hazy almost.
This nightmare was about Fatima, the sketch artist from up top. She was a senior here and usually the person in this block turned for guidance, relief and peace. She was from the South part of Sudan, fact that she lets it known by her traditional style fashion, her food and her drinks and the occasionally loud conversations she has with her folks back home. A peaceful artist with beautiful brown skin with yellow undertones, an oval face with a big smile plastered on it and shinning black orbs. An angel in disguise that you often seek when the world proved too much for you. Fatima never really showed her own worries and fears but you were one of the privileged few who did see her at her lowest, an experience that motivated you , scared you and hurt you. The amount of times your heart clenched those times matched with how many tears left her orbs.
You were ejected vertically on your bottom as your mouth left a silent scream, tears dropping from your eyes but you didn't have time to think it over since loud noises came from upstairs,Fatima's room. In your paranoid state you didn't question the musicality of the sounds ,chosing to ran out the door ,slapping it shut and jumping two steps each time till you reached her door.
Fatima was enjoying her second favourite types of music, Afro-Latina songs when a storms of pounds hit her door. Confused and terrified, she grabbed the nearby mop before she opened the door. It was just you.
You stood there in black shorts made from former leggings to long for your short legs, white ripped shirt stained with old paint from when you helped her renovate and messy long hair and tear filled puffy eyes.
"Y/n! My girl ,what happened?"
There she was, with a long white fit dress that ended in a curve at the start of her feet and silver grey hijab wrapped around her head. She look energised despite being 5 in the mornina Most importantly she was Most importantly, she was safe, unharmed and happy.
Your noise picked up the aroma of her handmade mix of tea that filled the textile of her dressing where now your head rest as your body convulse in a breakdown again. Shocked and confused, she wasn't stopped however from showing you the comfort your soul may need.
She caressed your long hair and rubbed your back as you two sat on the white tiles of the entrance. The door long close by her other roommate, Catherine Blank - a 26 years old from Dublin.
On Fatima's commends, the red haired freckled woman brought you a knitted blanket and a cup of water. Her hands found their way on your cheeks when you finally calmed down,rubbing them on your wet skin as you drank the water. Your eyes fell down in shame for disturbing them.
You didn't know why it happened. Just two hours ago you finished talking with Corpse and went over your notes one last time.
You seemed fine, too busy for any bad thoughts to bug you or anything such as. Yet here you are.
"Jesus ,girl. You scared us." Came the heavy accent voice of Catherine.
You looked at her standing in black leggings and a black top, skinny hands on round hips and a scowl of worry on her square face. Green eyes softening when they met yours.
"I..um..."
"You don't have to tell us right now, sweet girl. Come, let's enjoy each other with some select songs."
You all three burst in laughter at the ridiculous pompous tonality Fatima chose to express herself with.
You followed, grasping the extended hand of Catherine as Fatima rearrange the blanket around your tattoos covered body.
————————————————————
It was morning when you finally return back into your apartment. The door closed itself with a heavy thud that resonated within the insides of your shaky lungs. You calmed down significantly since that explosive outburst of fears and terrors.
You cleaned your eyes as the light of the morning painted you in a sick look: eyes blood shot, red nose, puffy face and pale skin. You looked like you died and came back alive, well maybe a fragment of your sanity died tonight who knows? Your shredded sigh echoed in the empty apartment ,the others already gone to work/university. Essentially you were alone. Again.
You cleaned your eyes as the light of the morning painted you in a sick look: eyes blood shot, red nose, puffy face and pale skin.
You looked like you died and came back alive, well maybe a fragment of your sanity died tonight who knows? Your shredded sigh echoed in the empty apartment ,the others already gone to work/university. Essentially you were alone. Again.
Your soul long desired the touch of another: to be grasp tightly and lovely by their hands, to be enveloped in their smell as they whisper sweet nothings into your ears, to have their warmth dry your tears, to bring comfort to your pain. You resigned years ago that you were never meant to experience this sessions, merely observed them. But your heart craved them and craving it did, as you watched in fake disgust the romantic displays in Ace's romances.
Right now, after crying your eyes out, your burns needed that comfort, needed that care and love but again you were denied of them, you can only thank yourself for that.
The cup was slapped in foolish fury as you tossed some hot water in it. The tea bag falling towards the end of the cup.
Three knocks were heard at the door and you curiously turned, cup left forgotten.
Opening the door, Omar was standing there with a little albino boy with clear big blue eyes and curly locks. He was wearing a red blue and white checkered shirt with beige church pants. He smelled nice ,his cologne hitting your your long narrow nose immediately after opening the door.
You raised a brow as he sheepishly smiled.
"Nice kid."
"Thanks."
Then silence.
You continued drinking your tea,staring at the man who finally realised that you didn't know the motive of his visit.
"Alma didn't tell you?"
"What?"
"She said you agreed to watch over Tj today."
Wait.
Your panicked grew was your eyes turned to the calendar to the right of you. There in bold yellow numbers the day of 5th November was left clear with the exception of being circled over with a gold marker.
"Shit ,it was today? I mean ...fuck. Sorry, Omar. It totally slip my mind."
The man laughed ,his brown eyes were warm and forgiving, no offense taken by your skip of mind.
"It's fine,Y/n. So it's alright if I leave this little guy with you for a bit?"
"Y-Yeah. But I don't have-"
As Omar entered the hallway, a grey bag you previously not seen was by the door , you picked it up before going to the living room.
He sat the kid dressed in a sailor white and navy blue stripped t-shirt and light grey sweatpants on one of the sit of your 1970s floral printed sectional sofa.
The kid was making sounds and hand gestures ,wanting to be picked up again by his father who was busy speaking with the 159cm tall woman.
"Tj here is a big of a love bug, get him to like you and you can't go anywhere anymore. Just like his mother I suppose. "
"Does he have any..um..food preference I should know about?"
"Um...Wait, Alma left you a notebook, ah well not you but me. Here ,it should have anything you will need. Again,thank you so much for doing this Y/n."
"Yeah, yeah. Don't worry about it." You said ,flipped the pages of the hard back notebook. Luckily Alma had a neat writing.
"Well, I need to go now. Be nice, little guy. "
Omar bent down to kiss his son's forehead, a sign of goodbye. The child stared at his father with a confuse look as he bubbled nonsense. His tiny hand reaching for the leaving figure.
Omar left soon after ,waving bye-bye to his son and almost kissing your forehead as a habit he picked up since he got together with Alma, their form of goodbye.
You stood there, staring at each other as the kid started to laugh and throw his toy at you. You caught it, he will throw it again and so forth.
You were tired however and knew the boy with too much energy will not be easily manipulated into sleeping. Opening the TV to the kid's cartoon channel , you settled on the opposite couch ,eyes falling victim to tiredness.
----------------------------------------------
You must have been asleep 2 hours and so begore the loud crys woke you up.
Crys? Shittt! The kid.
Shooting out of your crouched position, you ignore the stirring pain of your sudden movement. Your legs' thud brought the attention of the crying mop of hair.
A wrenches smell filled your nostrils as your dread grew when you realised where its source came from. Looks like it's time to change a diaper. Oh ,man!
With a mask over your nose, hair tied behind your back and gloves you started changing the boy in the bathroom, you cleaned and washed him and brought him back on the layed blanket on the couch. Your disgust grew as you cleaned the sink and disinfect it.
You groaned as you threw your equipment in the bin, a bing didn't let your stomach cringe at the memory of the smell. It was a message from Corpse.
'Hey :)'
You smiled, quickly texting him back.
'Hey!"
'Up to play something today?'
'A new stream? You just finished one tomorrow, I don't want you to burn yourself out.'
'<3 But no, I mean to play together in private, just the two of us.'
You wanted to text him back, teasing him with the proposition of a date but the sounds of broking glass was heard from the living room.
With a scream , you quickly typed out :' Cant baby in troble.!'
The kid was fine thankfully , grinning and laughing at your panicked state. What was not fine was the white porcelain vase with blue florals Sabrina brought for her collection. She wouldn't be mad per say but she wouldn't be happy either.
The kid ,now standing to ran around the room ,using the coffee table to his advantage, your legs screaming from the workout. Luckily the broken vase was behind you away from the child.
Unfortunately, your phone started to ring. Who the fuck would call me now? Oh! It's Corpse. Wait..Corpse!
"H-hey Corpse ! What are you - come here you little block of swiss cheese."
The man laughed as the phone's speaker vibrated on your right ear where you lodged it.
Tj laughed innocently as you grabbed him and hold him to your left hip. Your hair,nerves and mood all a mess.
"A-Are you okay?" Corpse asked after recovering from the fit of laughter.
"Me? Oh ,sure. I have a gremlin here who's more trouble than his worth. Hey! Stop that!"
The happy face of Tj turned in a cringy crying one as he wailed. Apparently you wanting to stop him chewing on your white banda, tightly nicely on the top of your head ,was too much.
"Sounds like trouble. By the way, you called me?"
"I did?"
Your eyebrows clenched as you look at your calls history,you did actually. The icon of the call must have been press on accident or that it was a sign from the universe that you are in dire need of assistance.
"Y-yeah. Look, Corpse l-I gotta go. I will call you-"
And you stopped, your breath becoming more fast as your nose flared.
"Um ghost? Are you...Are you there?"
"Stay on the line,Corpse. This kid just pissed on me."
With that another wave of laughter hit the man as he thrown himself into the chair.
----------------------------------------------
Finally, you changed the damn brat after cleaning him again and taking a shower yourself. You left a breath as you watched the chil playing with his blue rocket toy.
"Babysitting is much harder than the films makes it out to be." You grumbled, pouting as you listened to Corpse's chuckles.
They managed to calm you enough to turn the intimidating glare you had plastered all over your face into a more stern one.
Your body dressed in a clean pair of white jeans short, black tank top and blue checkered shirt over, leaned on the frame of the door. You were waiting for the milk to heat up, luckily the boy was only a month away from being an year old so you could give him cow milk without worrying.
"Babysitting is hard when you ,yourself, are a gremlin, baby." He said ,his voice making you visibly tingle.
You sighed, placing the phone near the wooden bread box and grabbing a cup. By now the milk should have warmed up.
"Um...goofball?"
"Yes,Corpse?"
"You...you are not wearing your voice changer. I..I am sorry, I should have told you from the start but I like the s-sound of it ,I didn't want it to stop."
You could hear the beads of his bracelets as he played with them, nervously waiting for your response.
"I-It's okay, Corpse. You don't need to be sorry."
You swallowed, this day really came for your neck. Your eyes stung as you fight them off, no reason to make Corpse's day shittier by being pathetic.
"You are not fine ,are you goofball?"
The kind and worried tone of this wonderful individual you became to take a liking of was enough to cause everything in you to break loose.
"N-No ,it's not. Everything been so fucking stressful and I-I don't know what to do Corpse. I try my might to fight these thoughts but everytime they resurface stronger and more disturbing. I can't keep them in control, Corpse. I just CAN'T. A-And I keep worrying about losing all: my friends, my belongings and my family. I feel like I will drive them away especially if I can't bring my share to the table. I don't even know why I tell you these to be honest, I don't want to scare you away but in the same time I ... FUCK!"
Your fists hit the table you been resting on hard , scaring the child in the living room. His cries only angered you more.
"Ghost. Ghost! Ghost! Gho-"
"WHAT?"
You instantly regretted shouting at him,stopping from your pacing too.
"Calm down,buttercup. I know how you feel and going down a warpath or an abyss of sorrows ain't the answer. Come, let me help. "
"You still want to?" Your voice came out timidly and shying away in fear, shielding your eyes in shame despite him having no possible way of seeing your face.
"Of course, you goof. Now let's see what we do with that kid."
You swiped a tear out of your right eyes ,smiling and nodding before remembering he couldn't see, just hear you. That made you more anxious now that you realised that he knows a close guarded information.
————————————————————
A smile ran down your face as you watched the child all wrapped up in his dark blue blanket struggle to jeep his bright eyes opened as his ears and energy were captured by Corpse's singing. It's was a lullaby about moon and love, being in Spanish you only understood unfortunately the words close to your mother language.
You almost lost yourself to the gentle hums , stringing of a guitar and over all wholesome cozy atmosphere when loud voices and thumbs came from the apartment near Fatima's.
An idiot called Tudor who plays the bass part in Sergiu's band lived there, he and his boyfriend Micah. Two assholes who had a bone to pick with everyone, well more like Tudor had ,Micah was a follower.
The sense of protection enveloped you as you caressed the child's hair and kiss his right temple, letting him with Corpse to fall asleep.
Your grey flippers cracked against the stone stairs harshly and quickly. Your glare being as cold as the staircase room.
You knocked furiously on the door, hurting your hands by the metal indentations carved into the door. Your ears picked up footsteps approaching the door in a lazy manner, the two making jokes about what kind of bitch could be bothering them.
The smirk on his long face vanished when his pale blue eyes meet your fiery dark ones. He puffed a lock of dirty blond hair , saluting you in a cocky but intimidated manner :
"I wonder why the Red Riding Hood is paying us a visit? What do you think ,Micah?"
He leaned back to let his dark skinned boyfriend take a look at you. His eyes showed fear but he continued the masquerade in order to please his scumbag of a lover.
"I don't know, babe. Maybe she wants a threesome."
Tudor laughed like then pig he is, Micah lipped an apology to you, his black gems cowering in shame.
Micah wasn't a bad man , he was just naive and a people's pleaser, with no sense of stern morals but even awareness to know he is the wrong. You never understood why he wasted his breath by staying at the side of this buffoon of a dude. You ignored his half-cocked insults, knowing they didn't really had a backbone to them.
"I will appreciate if you could tone it down a little. No one needs to know you two are making a sex tape."
This seemed to anger the taller white as mayonnaise man who dismissed his boyfriend with a wave of his painted hand and moved forward to you. The red door of his apartment shutting up with an echo.
You two glared at each other, not one of the other backing down. Your breath was forcefully calmed down by your anger , last thing you needed is for him to know he was affecting you by coming too close. Your hands shook in their tight grip and you were pleased you cut your nails earlier.
"Just because Sergiu lets you come with us when we play, doesn't mean you and I are friends. Got it, girly?"
His rough tone only displeased you.
"And just because you can string two cords and not sound like a dying cat doesn't mean you are a great singer either, buddy."
"Fuck you." He said that to you in a clasped breath, his teeth biting on his lower lip as his face appeared more furious.
If this motherfucker puts his hands on me ,I swear I will...
"Y/N? Y/N!"
It was Sergiu.
The man in a punk style leather jacket ran quickly up the stairs, his armored black boots clicking away.
His face was twisted into a fearing expression before turning into a more pissed off one. He knew of Tudor's dislike towards you and knew that the both of you won't hold back if this turns physical. He needed to be smart about this.
"Man, come on. Leave her alone."
He moved to come between you ,Tudor's movement of hand stopped him.
"Nah,man. This bitch thinks she come here like she owns the fucking place and tell me what to do? I am sorry, princess, but you got another thing going. "
"TUDOR ISAAC POPESCU!"
A female voice caused his blood to ran cold and you to smirk.
Behind Sergiu, a petite woman in her mid fifties glared at him. Her greying hair caught in a bun,her olive wrinkled face was in a madden frown as her blue eyes shield by fuchsia framed glasses stared at him. The madame in green suit pants and white and black blouse was his mother.
His mother, a teacher at your University, was a lioness of a woman, never detour from the right path of doing things and more importantly never afraid to tear down anyone if they being dickish. Not even her loved son.
Sergiu grabbed gently you without a word as you two left the mother and son quarrel in peace, a part of you already starting to feel bad. You hate when you argued with someone but your anger sometimes got the better of you. Today truly has been an exhausting day.
————————————————————
You are in your room,Corpse still on the phone with you. You already explained what happened and know you enjoyed just talking with him about everything and nothing at the same time,trying to not fall asleep for how calming his voice was.
"You sure you don't want me to end the call. You must be tired from all the noises. "
You stirred, cleaning the droll of your left wnd of your lips. Your head ache as you saw that night has befallen.
"Wh-What?"
"Goofball,I was talking if you wanted me to let you rest but you already beat me to it."
"T-Tj?"
"Your friends said they will take care of them. They were so surprised to find me singing to him, though."
"Ah,shit. Sorry Corpse."
"Nothing to be sorry about, pumpkin. "
"Pumpkin, seriously?" You asked ,snuggling back into the comforter.
"Yeah, why not? The fall season is still up for a month or so."
"Hmm, I prefer goofball better."
"If you say so, princess. You *yawn* you sure you don't want me to let you sleep?"
A panick arised into your soul as you quickly told him no.
"P-Please stay."
"A-Alright."
He began to continue the story one of his subscribers send him as your eyes shut. A smile on your lips at last.
————————————————————
Hey,guys!💖
Hope you enjoyed the fifth part of the serie. It was a roller coaster to write.
Anyway, stay safe!💗
Tagged💖:@moolujk @magenta-skyline @yikesyikesyikes95 @simonsbluee @cherry-piee @yoyoanaria @gaysludge @mythicalamphitrite
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weedstoner · 2 years
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two people I thought were my friends on here unfollowed and blocked me and I have literally no idea why. my last direct message w both of them was talking about a meme one of us posted. there was zero conflict. I guess they just hated me for some reason. maybe I made a post they didn't like or accidentally said something wrong. I'm so fucking sick of this happening. in the past two years I've been ghosted by four different people for seemingly no reason. and I know you are probably thinking "ok Sydney there is probably a reason" and I agree but I have racked my brain for months and have no idea what it was. I didn't have disagreements or confrontations with any of these people. all four of them went from regularly and enthusiastically talking to me (in one case sexually) to radio silence in the matter of a day or two. I don't fucking understand. I don't understand why people do this. I don't understand why you couldn't just do me the common decency of saying "hey I'm really not vibing with our friendship anymore" or whatever it is. I'm a very chill and straightforward person and I always will prefer honesty over feeling comfortable. every time this happens to me it reinforces that voice in my head that says "you are a fundamentally unlikable person. anyone who is currently a part of your life is just pretending to like you and will eventually cut you off when they feel like they're done with you. there is no point in putting yourself out there or taking risks socially or reaching out first because this is what will happen every single time. you will never meet a person who either wants to stay in your life or has the respect for you to let you know why the relationship is ending before cutting you off"
there's no point in trying. I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life. I have to toughen up and resign myself to it or else I'll just end up trying to kill myself again and that's not fair to my family. I put them through that once and I will never do it again. so I'm just going to suffer until maybe one day I get lucky and get hit by a car.
also. can you believe one of the people who did this to me is a literal therapist. like her job is to counsel people she's a licensed therapist. who ghosts people they've known for literal years. like I'm sorry but I don't think you have the necessary emotional maturity to be counseling other people. lol. anyway I'm going to stay in bed all weekend and try not to do something stupid
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