#(i am not getting the tortilla)

[benisasoftboi]

Bad Ghosts AUs: BBC Toasts. It’s exactly the same scripts but everyone is a stop motion animated bread product and food puns are inserted wherever possible. We remake the entire show that way. Call me BBC, this is the replacement you need once the original show ends, you could absolutely do five series of this, the gimmick totally wouldn’t get old-

or rather-

stale-

#pat-stry baker #the crumpet #tortilla thorne #mary’s just mary but she’s burnt toast obviously #bbc ghosts #i kid. you could not get a decent five minutes out of this #this post brought to you by somehow finding myself listening to vengaboys at 1:30 AM and resultantly feeling a bit silly #the vengabus... IS coming... #i actually kind of think thomas would love eurodance music. he'd think everytime we touch is super deep

[micamone]

know somethins wrong with me when im standing in the store staring at the eggs thinking "maybe gaston was onto something just straight up eating a dozen of those. maybe i should try idk." when i dont even like eggs.

#what am i lacking to be craving this come on #sorry remembered this moment as i got another craving for eggs rn #ive been stretching all the things i can get away with putting eggs in this week man #we've done SOUPS with egg we've done RICE with egg jve had TORTILLAS n egg ive made FRENCH TOAST #with bread i dont even like!!!!!! #im two steps away from making egg nog from scratch. or pudding and just drinking that. its getting serious #my posts

[thenarrativefoil]

WONDERFUL EXPERIENCE OF THE YEAR: FOUND A RESTAURANT THAT CATERS TO AUTOIMMUNE DIETS AND GOT FOOD!!!!!!!!!

#i had SOUP and TORTILLAS and COOKIES and BONE BROTH and CINNAMON ROLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #text #the past couple days have been A Struggle but the past four years are FINALLY balancing out #and I am going to get some Test Confirmed Answers and a Treatment Plan anD THEN #I AM GONNA FIX MYSELF #and then I get to do WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT FOREVER #gonna eat all the things #again: what doesnt kill you makes you weird about food!

[fangomango]

😮‍💨 alas against all of my attempts to nkt fit into the Texas stereotype

It's was all futile for I am a simple Texan who eats breakfast tacos all the time and drinks sweet tea every god damn day

#i am not joking i do drink sweet tea almost every day #that cant be good for you.... #i mean i didnt pop out the womb and drink sweet tea but maybe for the past 3 years...probably less ive had sweet tea almost every day #...only with dinner though... #its a dinner drink...and an after school drink #and a lounging around drink... #ok basically a not breakfast drink #breakfast tacos though 🤤 ncfndnsndn i will marry them #like i normally get bacon and eggs but my favorite is carne asada with grilled onions and cilantro #fjfnfnfn YESSSS #like 2 days ago we had tacos for dinner with some really good tortillas (homeade is superior but we had no time to make em) and likencnf #jgnfndfk #i miss those tacos #we put homeade hot sauce(we had homeade salsa but it went bad :( ) and Pico de Gallo #some avocado too along side some local salsa #and CILANTRO OH MY GOD I LOVE CILANTO #i would eat it like a salad #im rambling #go take my breakfast taco order its good #its very basic but great #and go make homeade salsa #texas

[bright-and-burning]

pie in the oven. unforch i am stupid n forgot to buy rosemary so my chicken plans r a wash so now i gotta figure out a last minute dinner so i don't just have apple pie for dinner

#AND I FORGOT TO GET TORTILLAS. FUCK. #darn what am i gonna even have then

[pudgybun]

feeling v sensitive and v little today and I managed to make myself an awesome breakfast but haven't rly eaten since bc it is so hard and after working and helping some friends today all I wanna do is lay in bed and be fed and cuddle and watch scary (BUT NOT TOO SCARY!!!) movies with my stuffies ): I need a good cuddle and comfort food </3 long ramble in tags btw ♡

#i am rly proud of the tacos i made this morning bc i made fresh masa tortillas and they were so yum #but im just so tired after today idek if i wanna eat so im going to 🍃 and then see if that helps! #but i still feel so :c little and unable to really fully take care of myself #i might make rice bc i know how to do that rn but :p i just wanna get in bed and munch on stuff #my house has 0 snacks bc im hellbent on making everything at home from scratch IM SUCH A FOOL!!!! #babbles

[autumnhobbit]

going to jump off a bridge over……food

#I already feel like shit about the fact that I eat like garbage #but I’ve been meaning to make this damned ‘healthy’ salad for like 3 weeks and cannot for the life of me keep any of the ingredients viable #long enough to make the fucking thing #so today I had to run to the grocery to get tea and grabbed some ingredients #after work mind you #after I left I went ‘oh I forgot milk’ #which I NEEDED #so I stopped aFUCKINGGAIN #at dollar store to get some #then after I left there I realized I forgot tortilla chips #went ‘fuck it I’ll make them at home’ #get home #leap through the shower and get straight to work #I even remembered to get the chicken out of the freezer yesterday night #well guess what it’s still fucking frozen #so. forget that I guess #now the lettuce and corn and all the other ingredients are gonna fucking rot #my kitchen’s a fucking wreck #I have no time and no energy to clean any part of this damned apartment to do anything #I’m going to stop now before I go into the whole other thing but I am. done

[mumblelard]

i got my flu shot today

i ate a raisin custard pastry as a reward

my dad sent me a text this morning, call me when you get a moment, this is the text he sends when he needs a ride to the airport, or my mom has baked me a pie, or my grandmother has died.

a certainty grew over me. this letter would be the last

a volunteer for a city council candidate rang my doorbell yesterday. it sounds like the ringtone i have for my mom and most people knock, so i was confused at first. she handed me a flyer without giving me her pitch, but complimented the nazars glued to my door

i looked pale

finn is walking by the river with me on friday

i started rewatching farscape, one episode every night or so, my phone out of reach in another room. i didn't remember how thirsty it is. they talk about mystical alien sex practices in the very first episode. i probably shouldn't have let my kids watch that show as young as they did

i miss everything

#the new math of wrinkling #my neighbor is sitting on her porch #listening to red hot chili peppers #reading an actual paper book #kafka and the doll #raisin custard pastry #the fourth sensation #call me when you get a moment #my heart stops every time #flu shots #i guess i am getting a shingles booster next week #small corn tortillas #mouth wash #muenster #blueberries #farscape

[pamsssssss]

Some of you don't understand that complaining about the lack of food from home is an immigrant's God given right

#if anyone tries to make you feel guilty for complaining you can't find the food that was readily available at home i am so fucking sorry #YOURE ALLOWED TO COMPLAIN #immigrants you are allowed to complain so fucking much i am so sorry #moving countries is HARD and its LONELY and there's SO many differences #culture shock is so fucking real #and among all of that you're allowed to yearn and lament and long for your cultures food #and yes if you're a german in the americas you're allowed to be complain about the lack of german bread #and if you're from the americas in germany you're allowed to complain about the mass slaughter of corn tortillas #anyways if you have access to a taco bell please get a baja blast freeze and drink it for me #people on that post don't GET IT #i miss GOOD mexican food #but i also miss FAMILIAR food #and sometimes that familiar food is a bean and cheese burrito from taco bell #also if you can buy hot cheetos please buy the whole shelf and eat those tasty bitches #while i sadly munch on my paprika chips

[slippery-minghus]

lmfao-ing at my coworker who had a running-away-from-her-desk-in-tears meltdown when she didn't credit for something she didn't do.

okay bestie 💅

#girl. GIRL. if you want to have people tell you Thank You For Doing This Thing?? #you have to show an OUNCE of initiative and actually Do Some Things!!! even a little!! once in a while!!! #if all you do for 40hrs a week is be a warm body doing 30% of the work that needs doing while LOUDLY COMPLAINING THE WHOLE TIME #then! i think! you're not gonna get a lot of positive reaction?? #it's just a thought #personal #while she was having her meltdown i started taking notes #because it was immediately preceded by me asking for her help on a large and very important task and her frankly refusing #she did help when she came back from her meltdown but only a little. and didn't agree to anything #and i know i'm going to be making the rest of those calls outside of the one (1) she made in front of me #i care about my job because if i don't i'll go insane but i am also going insane anyway #and like. she's so fucking toxic that i can't even get thanked for my hard work without her making it about herself #i planned the event from top to bottom. she brought tortillas. which i suggested she bring. #she had a meltdown because she didn't get credit #(and it was a fucking potluck. everyone brought stuff??????)

[leolaroot]

people who live near civilization and have constant access to good food .... fuck you

#im not even in town but in the nearest town all we got is. A Subway. and then like. three family owned restaurants. #and the hotel restaurant. and the bar. #and its all either kindof expensive or not good. #and also it requires getting in a damn car and driving. #hell earth. i am fondly remembering my city living days where i could get food delivered to my home. god. #anywyas. perhaps for aupper i will have cheese melted on a tortilla again. or maybe pop tart.

[localcryptideli]

What they don't tell you about gluten free products is not only that they are super expensive, not only that they usually contain way less food than their gluten counterpart, not only often gluten free brands are the only option cause even food that shouldn't rationally contain gluten has wheat among the ingredients, but also

very often after you spent more than double the price you would spend on a gluten product, for half the content of the food, you open it and find out the very expensive product is very, very, very stale.

:))) I hate this

#glutenfree #wheat allergy #I hate this I am gonna start learning how to store handmade tortillas myself #this is the second time we pay a lot to get a gluten free product from A GOOD BRAND #and the product is extremely stale #like they literally don't care about you they know you will spend that money no matter what cause you need to eat #gluten intolerance

[imwritesometimes]

One thing I'm grateful for every day is that even though I'm not crushing it and raking in the dough I still have a ridiculously stocked fridge and pantry.

As someone who spent many years growing up on food stamps (that absolutely were not enough for an adult and two growing kids but that's a different discussion entirely) going in my kitchen and having, quite frankly, a ridiculous amount of food to choose from is enthralling. I can eat apples and peanut butter and make banana muffins and snack on crackers and never worry like oh if I have these crackers no one else will have anything to eat.

Idk man I'm feeling a way abt this today like. I have food. Good food!

#idk man I get really emotional abt being able to have food sometimes like when I am able to do a big haul #and I have fruits and veggies and snacks and easy meals and big meals I can cook and stuff I can bake like #I used to eat top ramen and tortillas so my mom and brother could eat the ~real~ food #and when I did cook I wouldn't eat much so my brother could eat more #now like. I don't cry in the parking lot of the grocery store cause we're already out of food money for the month. #erin explains it all

[tricktster]

around when I first started dating my boyfriend i bought myself this novelty blanket that looks like a photorealistic tortilla because I am SUCH A SUCKER for novelty shit. when he saw it in person for the first time his eyes lit up, which should have been a warning sign for the indignities to come.

so he’s a first responder and his day shifts start obnoxiously early as far as I, a pampered corporate asshole, am concerned. almost invariably when he’s at my place there will be an alarm at an hour that is downright unconscionable that will make him wake up and roll out of bed to get ready and will simultaneously make me burrow under the pillows grumbling about how surely nobody actually NEEDS their lives saved this early in the morning, after which I will promptly attempt to go back to sleep

he is a clever man and he knows this is when i am most vulnerable to attack.

every single time we do this dance, he quietly dresses, packs up, goes about getting ready to leave, and then when i have juuuust fallen back asleep, he returns with the tortilla blanket. He finds it no matter where I have hidden it.

He then creeps silently up to my side of the bed and uses his superior speed, strength, and reflexes to wrap me up in it incredibly tightly while i am still dazed and sputtering, so that i cannot move my legs or arms and am reduced to humiliating halfhearted magikarp flops that do not deter him from at least attempting to kiss my forehead.

then he goes to my bedroom door, opens it, then pauses, turns around, looks at me, the soft human filling of the facsimile of an enormous burrito he has just constructed, and says in his best romantic lead voice “I’ll see you soon, beans.”

you cannot understand how devastating it is to my ego that i am beans.

[sassyandclassy94]

This stupid day has gone from bad to worse and it’s not even 8 o clock in the freaking morning!!!!

It’s such a bad day, I even got mad at my music.

#first my coworker who used to be my favorite until he gave his month’s notice refused to heed my request of putting the veggies in the #basket so I can save time before the truck gets here #THEN my other coworker put the money bag in the wrong spot so I was running around trying not to panic #and THEN I spilled freezing cold cilantro water ALL OVER MY FRONT and THEN… THEN… #the cafe girls are in a mood and are being SO dramatic about having no tortillas when I TOLD THEM. I. TOLD. THEM #that more are coming on FRIDAY! and even though they’re here on the pallet they’re making a big stink about them not being stocked out yet #like LADIES! I may order them but stocking out regrigerator stuff is NOT my responsibility. I am PRODUCE GIRL! #take a freaking chill pill already GOSH #So yeah I am DONE. SO. DONE. I wanna go back to bed! #personal #work woes #like seriously I’m feeling so ticked off that I ripped my AirPods outta my head because my music was too upbeat that it was making me madder

[katy-l-wood]

My cats, one of whom would kill a man for a few shreds of cheese, have memorized what food preparation steps usually lead to cheese being provided to them as a little treat. Tortillas? Probably gonna lead to cheese. Sandwiches? Probably gonna lead to cheese. Pasta? 50/50 chance of cheese.

Problem is, if I then make a version of a normally-produces-cheese-treats food, but I am not using cheese in that particular version of said food, I get loudly and extensively scolded.

Made pork and poblano tacos for the week and oh boy are the cats mad. Tortillas involved but no cheese? How dare I??? HOW DARE??!?

#Rumble and Rebel