#30SF

[shadow13dickpistons]

This is from Reddit this time, but if I see one more person saying a "girl" in her 30s shouldn't date a man in his late 30s or above because age gaps are so icky and can't you see she's only a baby, he's taking such advantage of her, I'm going to start chewing asbestos. And then I'm going to spit it into the mouths of the people infantalizing adult women.

#age gap discourse #the one that inspired this was '39M 30sF' #and the person saying it was gross a man in his 40s was dating a 30 yo girl was thankfully downvoted #but the stupidity still haunts me

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not inviting my chronically ill friend to events?

I (30sF) have a group of friends that I made back in college. One of those friends, who we'll call "Sarah", has a number of disabilities including chronic fatigue, migraines, and a lot of dietary restrictions.

I recently made a new friend that lives near Sarah, and I've been visiting with that friend and going to concerts, restaurants, etc with her. I mentioned this to Sarah and she was mad that I hadn't invited her to things that were happening near her, since I live far away and the distance makes it a big deal for us to hang out.

I understand why, if I'm driving all the way down there, it would be more polite to try and also schedule a meet-up with Sarah. But every time we hang out, we only talk about Sarah's health and we can only do things that Sarah feels comfortable doing. That means limited restaurants bc of the food allergies, no long hikes or anything athletic bc of the chronic fatigue, and plans are subject to abrupt changes bc of all her various concerns.

I still want to be friends with Sarah, but I don't want to have to rearrange my plans to do things with my new friend to accommodate also hanging out with my old friend. We still hang out a few times a year (which for two people in their 30s is pretty good!) And we talk a lot online.

AITA for not inviting Sarah to events that are near her when I know she might be free?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[blog-of-frontiers]

AITA for using my daughter's girlfriend to achieve immortality?

This may sound bad but hear me out. I (350sM) am a successful religious and military leader within a new alternative faith system. Many years ago I lost my wife while my daughter (now 30sF) was very young, so naturally I have been very protective of her. We lived in a tight-knit community where the majority practiced a religion I was involved in but am no longer a part of. My daughter was very involved with this community and was a talented follower of this goddess.

My daughter also had a girlfriend at the time. I just want to say upfront that I am NOT homophobic. Two of my closest coworkers are LGBT and it doesn't bother me in the slightest. But let's just say that when my daughter died of unpreventable causes, I didn't treat her girlfriend extremely well. It's not something I'm proud of, but it happened. Seeing that there was pretty much nothing keeping me tied to this religion, I found a new goddess that suited my life and goals better and used this to trap my daughter's girlfriend in another plane. Because of her parentage (my original goddess) she's effectively immortal, and I was able to siphon off some of that for myself.

Let me be clear, this was all for my daughter and my community. I knew that by living longer and becoming unkillable, I would have more time to devise a way to bring my daughter back. Plus, this new goddess was much stronger IMO, so my community would be safer as well. There were some people who didn't love the change, but I really did have their best interests at heart. I was even able to preserve some of my family members through this transition and gave them VERY prestigious positions in our new society (toll collector, head doctor at our local hospital, etc.).

And yes, I figured the girlfriend would be lonely in her new extra-planar living space, which is why I sent members of my new religion to visit her and fulfill their joining rites in one fell swoop. It's not my fault she wasn't appreciative of this, since I went through a lot of trouble to build a temple leading up to her portal with a very involved trials just to get there. Everyone who visited her was highly qualified and earned their place. Plus, I'll say again that she is immortal, so whenever she dies she comes back--I've been killed many times due to all of this, and it isn't even that bad.

But anyway, now my daughter is returned from the dead and won't even speak to me. I assume she's mad because of her whole girlfriend thing and also possibly my new religion (dropped the second goddess for a much stronger god, with great benefits and a structured tier system I very quickly rose to the top of, if it matters). She even helped to murder one of my associates I sent to collect her. I think she's planning an attack against the tower I currently reside in, which if you ask me is a little ungrateful.

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #ketheric thorm

[commiecoulson]

AITA for going after my ex-wife's kidnapper/torturer even though he threatened to kill my coworker's ex-husband who she still loves?

So i (30sM) have a sort of rollercoaster thing with my ex-wife (30sF), but recently she got kidnapped by a guy (lets call him W) and his crazy gf and i realized i really do care for my ex-wife. I've been wanting to avenge her attack for months and I finally got an opportunity, so i called in an experienced coworker (40sF, call her M) from her extended leave of absence to help me get the guy. She has a history with him too so i figured it would be perfect.

Anyway so we find where he works now and storm the place, but then W threatens to kill M's ex-husband who she still has feelings for. I get her hesitation, i do, but this is my chance and im not losing it. So i went ahead and shot W and he ordered a hit on M's ex-husband. He lived, but barely. He lived though! But now everyone at work is mad at me. Aita?

#aos rewatch lb #agents of shield #hunter #melinda #grant ward #snlahsknmwdkjskeh??m

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for doing surgery on my colleague?

[CW: non-consensual surgery, something that could be interpreted as ableism]

My colleague (30sF) went on a trip to India a few years ago, and while there she was shot. She went to the hospital, but was told that she was fine, and a couple years passed, she was mostly fine and she started working for me (30M). This didn’t really affect anything, I couldn’t get her fired, or change what she was paid, but we worked in the same department.

She didn’t know, however that the bullet was in her leg and causing an infection that affected her mood, made her more violent (threatening me on multiple occasions, killing someone (quite viciously) in self defense, my other colleague (30sF) said she was uncharacteristically angry), and while I don’t think it would’ve killed her, it would have significantly changed her, in a way that’s impossible to come back from.

I discovered that she still had the bullet in her leg and it was causing the infection — it’s not important how — and told my other colleague. My other colleague suggested that we do surgery to remove the bullet (I’m not a surgeon, but I knew that I could do this for certain). I agreed, and we got everything we needed to do it.

I managed to get the bullet out (which would work to stop the infection, trust me) but she woke up and stabbed me in the shoulder with a scalpel. My colleague was unharmed. I managed to get away before she could stab me more, and my colleague — who she didn’t want to kill as much — took care of her.

I know that it was awful, what I did, but believe me that the alternative would’ve been worse. I know I said she wouldn’t be dead, but honestly, it might as well be. So, AITA?

#aita #am i the asshole #unreality #surgery cw #nonconsensual surgery #not sure 100% how to tag that unforch.

[arceusbeta]

aita for taking a bold position on urban planning?

myself (30sm) and three associates (50sm, 30sm, 30sf) formed a sort of... social club, you could say, a group for like minded individuals to talk, to discuss their concerns. we all shared a belief that the city we live in - lovely city, lovely place, certainly the heart of it all - was changing too much, too constantly, and in the process the work of talented individuals, quite talented, was being lost and overwritten, caught in the churn, as it were.

we all had our pet theories and ideas and solutions, but i, i am an engineer at heart and am given to practicality, to taking apart the equations barehanded and solving them, and so i... did that. it took some work, but i was able to get us, well, you could call it a backdoor connection to those really in charge, those really running the show. fascinating, all of them, absolutely fascinating, and so easy to work with if you just had the tools to speak with them, if you just took the time.

we decided to bring a few other voices into our collective, broaden the colors we painted with, and while there was some unfortunate reluctance to join in some cases, in the end they all integrated beautifully. all serving very important functions in shaping a new world.

unfortunately, one of my colleagues had a more personal attachment to one of our potential recruits, and she failed to disclose some potential pitfalls, some minor errors. to make a long story short, wrap it all up so to speak, i have entirely lost my connections, my colleagues and i are no longer in touch, and i believe a furious young woman (30sF?) may be on her way to have a heated discussion with me.

personally, i still believe it could have been beautiful. but she's made it quite clear - remarkably clear, given some communication difficulties on her part - that she disagrees. so, i suppose i might as well ask, wind my way to the question at the heart of the matter. could i be considered to be what one would call an asshole?

#ok im doing it. at least one blorbo aita for yall #this may have been an excuse to write in a voice i miss.

[oc-aita]

[CW alcohol, implied substance abuse]

WIBTA for telling the captain she is not doing very well?

I (40sM) am the navigator on a sailing ship. We mostly tow cargo, but it's not really for the money. Our ship's mage (20sM) is incredibly wealthy, and has paid for all of us to live the rest of our lives comfortably.

The captain (30sF) is known for being strict but fair. Our crew is small and tight-knit (only about 8 people), so we each work very hard to have the ship running properly. Lately, though, our captain has been staying out late drinking. Alone, most days, although the cook (30sM) and his fiancee the armourer (30sF) join her. I would not normally be concerned about such things. She may drink as much as she likes, as long as it doesn't affect her work.

But, unfortunately, it has been affecting her work. She has been giving sloppier orders lately, and the whole crew has suffered for it. For example, there was an incident in which the mage was told to burn a package, and he did, unknowing that is contained several hundred gold's worth of valuable navigation instruments that I had ordered. The mage bought new ones, but it was a few weeks' setback.

I have conferred with the others about it, and we agree it's become worth addressing, but I am worried that she would take it as an insult.

Would bringing it up directly be rude? If so, how can we tactfully address the issue?

#aita #am i the asshole #original character #alcohol tw

[quillsink]

aita if i (31M) walked out of the room, after my ex (30sF) and the girl i might be in love with (28F) both confessed their love to me, and then made out with a friend (18F)?

#aryan talks #community nbc #what was that episode though for real.

[simpinforrolinskin]

This will never not be funny

[cryptid-t33th]

am I (31m) the asshole for causing the death of my best friends (30sM) girlfriend (30sF)? He missed an important meeting we had because he was talking to her, and he probably would've ended up killing her anyways.

#gotham #gotham show #oswald cobblepot #edward nygma

[crashional-thinker]

Advice please:

I’m a (30sF) worker in a weird job. Related to this, I was shot at my previous employment, which was in the same field. The bullet injury wasn’t severe, and I didn’t notice it for a while.

Recently, one of my coworkers/kinda boss (KB)? (30sM) in conjunction with another coworker (30sF) told me the bullet was poisoned, which it apparently was, but they only found this through invasive methods.

They did surgery on it while I was unconscious, but I woke up partway, and stabbed KB. He’s fine.

Now, things are awkward, especially since my current GF is KB’s ex, and she supported the surgery. I’m upset at her for this and that the poisoned bullet was removed- it gave me some immunity to poison/etc.

What should I do now?

NTA your gunshot wound your rules

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for "attacking" my neighbor's girlfriend? 🗣️🐶👻

Potentially relevant background: I (35F) live in a small apartment building with a very large shared back yard. My mom lives in the same building. We're both close with one of our neighbors and on pleasant terms with the other occupants, but we've also both had various problems with the guy who lives below my apartment ever since he arrived. Details aren't really relevant, he's just one of those people who have clearly never lived in an apartment building before. A couple months ago, his girlfriend moved in along with her young, very excitable, deaf collie. She has almost no control over this dog and can barely even walk him. In the past she used a regular collar for him, which meant she was pulling the dog back by the neck whenever she tried - not very successfully - to control him, but thankfully, she did recently start using a harness instead. (The other people in the building have commented on this as well, I swear I'm not nosy - or at least I'm not the only one who is.)

So anyway, a few weeks ago I was in the back room and when I looked out the window, I saw the girlfriend (FB, 30sF) in the yard with the dog (LG). He was being his usual hyperactive self, and she was as usual being pretty ineffective in handling him. I guess FB got tired of LG haring off away from her as she stood in one place, because she shortened the lead and started pulling him back to her side with a hard yank anytime he got more than a foot or so away from her. At some point, the people who live in the house next to our building must have let their dog out as well, because LG went absolutely nuts trying to get over to the fence and pulled FB a few steps forward with him. She hauled back on the lead with both hands, hard enough that LG yelped, which actually lifted him off his front paws with his back paws barely touching the ground, then shook him roughly and shouted angrily in his face (I could hear her even from inside, and while I couldn't understand her since she speaks in French to the dog, her tone was angry).

Without even thinking about it I immediately opened the door, took a single step onto the deck, and yelled "HEY, stop it!" at her. I wasn't yelling with aggression, I just had to raise my voice for her to hear me across the yard. FB dropped LG and looked up at me and she seemed confused, so I pointed at the dog and shook my head and said "Don't shake him like that, and don't yank him back like that, you're gonna hurt him!" She shook her head back at me and was like "What is 'yank', I don't know, I'm not hurting him." I mimed the way she'd pulled on his lead and said something like "Pulling on him like that and shaking him so hard could hurt him." She was like, "He is deaf, I have to pull him to make him understand." I said, "You don't need to pull him that hard!" FB goes, "Well, he pulls me?" I'm like, "Well, he's a dog? You're a human, you can do better?" Finally she just waved me off and walked back toward the front of the building, so I went back inside, annoyed. After a little bit, she stomped up the stairs, then knocked - as quiet as a mouse - on my door. I didn't bother answering because I didn't have anything else to say to her (or at least nothing polite).

Later that night, when my mom (64F) got home from work, FB's boyfriend (GD, 38M) was apparently waiting outside for her to report the incident. She came up to my place and asked me what happened, so I explained basically exactly as I did above. Mom tells me that GD told her I "attacked" his girlfriend and really upset her by implying she was hurting her dog. (Why he felt the need to like, tattle to my mother instead of talking to me personally, I do not know. It's fine, I totally love being treated like a wayward child.) I was like, "I didn't 'attack' her, I yelled one time and then spoke normally, from like 30 feet away. But I wasn't implying anything, I TOLD her that what she was doing could hurt the dog." Mom told me it wasn't my business to say anything to FB about how she treats her own dog. I said that if I see someone mistreating an animal I do consider it my business to step in. She told me I was rude and what I did was wrong, and then asked what I thought I was going to do if GD complained to the landlord and got me evicted. I was pretty irritated, but eventually - more to appease my mom than because I actually felt sorry - I wrote GD and FB an apology note "admitting" that I was "wrong" for letting my concern for an animal make me act without thinking and get involved in something that "wasn't my business".

Truth is, I still don't think I was wrong, and I would do it again. I think there must be better ways to discipline your deaf dog, and if you aren't willing to learn them then you shouldn't take in a deaf dog. (Also, if what she was doing was just out of trying to control him and not out of anger, why did she shout in his face like that? Girl he's deaf, he can't hear you???) But, after some reflection, I recognize that my already established dislike of these people may have colored my perspective somewhat. It's all over and done with now, but I just want a wider perspective.

Was I the asshole?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[ubaid214]

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[roostergooster]

advice needed!

good God, I can’t believe I’m putting this on here. Hopefully it doesn’t bite me in the ass.

Men are from mars…? Long, sorry!

Hi, 30sf looking for advice about friend / acquaintance male age 26/35, I’m not sure his exact age but he’s in that bracket. 

Know this person, will call him Kevin,  through a mutual interest we see each other a couple a week, with other people who share this interest.

We would make small talk before and after activity.

About a month ago I shared some information with Kevin that I’ve shared with no one else. It’s very unlike me to share information, he was very supportive and felt like we got closer, he followed up later that day with some stuff we spoke about. 

later, he mentioned during the sport his plans for the weekend. I reached out to him that weekend to be friendly and see how it went. We texted a little bit, but he eventually ended it with an emoji. The next time we were doing the activity , he kinda ignored me. Whatever. Later that same week he was his normal happy chatty self. Talk about whip lash. 

Most recently he reached out on one night to talk about an event we were both at.  I responded and we chatted on and off, eventually talking about random stuff from the next  afternoon till evening. 

At one point he said something about going to an event not related to our activity  and that he was nervous. 

I jokingly said if it was not as difficult I’d go with him but since it was harder than I thought, he was on his own.  Kinda accidentally inviting myself. Maybe overstepping. About 45 minutes went by and he didn’t answer, so I panicked and deleted it. I just changed it to say you should go for it. 

Couple minutes later he responded saying yeah he’d think about it, hed wasted enough of my time talk tomorrow. 

Come tomorrow and he showed up late to the activity  maybe just mistake. Didn’t really acknowledge me at all in the class. 

Don’t know if I say anything to him, or just leave it to see what he does next activity .  Just really sick of this weird hot and cold friendship dance. 

Any thoughts?

#Friends #advice #please help

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for getting a bit mad at a traveler?

I (30sF) am the keeper of a local flower patch. It's not too big or small, and has a nice variety of flora - it's my pride and joy. It's built around an ancient shrine, and it complements the flowers beautifully. While the shrine is a marvel itself, people passing by will usually come and take a look at the garden, and they're very careful not to hurt the flowers by picking them or stepping on them.

Except for one person, who we'll call L (???M). He didn't say much, but I could almost hear him "ooh"-ing and "ahh"-ing at the flowers in his head. After he took a good look at them, L came over to talk to me, and I gave him the one rule that I give everyone else: Don't hurt the flowers. It's a simple rule, and it's easy to follow.

Apparently, L has no listening skills, and immediately flattened a few on his way to look at the shrine. I could practically hear them screaming in pain - the flowers that I planted myself, yelling for me to help them! How could I just stand by and do nothing? So, I took him away from the garden for a minute, and explained that the little plants are very important to me. L pretended to listen, but I could see in his eyes how determined he was to get to that shrine. Not even a minute later, he trampled my flowers again.

At this point, I was starting to get pretty pissed off. I warned this guy not to hurt the garden twice, and this is how he treats it? Plants are living beings too! I told him exactly that, and he still stepped on them, again and again and again. I was starting to lose count of how many flowers he had injured.

This is where I might be TA. I might have gotten a bit violent with L, but he did the same with my flowers! What was I supposed to do, let him go without quelling the flowers' rage? How could he not comprehend what he was doing? It was only fair! In L's defense, it's hard to get to the shrine with the way that the flowers are laid out - but that's no excuse! He had no respect for my lovingly planted garden!

#aita #am i the asshole #unreality

[archaeopath]

DSOL 4. Saison (Anleitung und Zugänge für Spieler und Zuschauer)

(wird fortlaufend ergänzt) Erwartungsgemäß ist das Interesse an der Deutschen Schach-Online Liga nach dem Ende fast aller Coronamaßnahmen stark gesunken. Mit 145 Mannschaften ist es aber eine solide Beteilung, die es rechtfertigt, den Wettbewerb zu verstetigen. Der ESV Rot-Weiß Göttingen nimmt mit zwei Teams teil. Mannschaftsleiter beider Crews des ESV Rot-Weiß Göttingen ist Ingram Braun, den man über sein Kontaktformular anmailen kann.

Screenshot vom Captain's Meeting der DSOL via Zoom mit Ingram Braun als Verteter des ESV Rot-Weiß Göttingen. Wesentliche Regeländerungen gibt es nicht. Allerdings ist die Cheating-Überwachung optimiert worden. Der Twitter-Account der DSOL wird nicht mehr bespielt, weil der DSB nur noch auf seinen Hauptaccounts posten will. Gespielt werden kann mit aktuellen Versionen der von ChessBase vertriebenen Programme (kostenpflichtig, nur Windows): Fritz 18 und 17 (bzw. andere Programme, die eine dieser Fritzoberflächen benutzen), Chessbase 15, 16 und 17. Der Playchess-Client ist umsonst und muß zwingend benutzt werden, wenn man als Mannschaftsleiter tätig ist. Wichtig: Bitte immer die neuesten Updates einspielen! Wer kein Windows hat oder aus anderen Gründen keines der vorgenannten Programme nutzen möchte, kann auch über die kostenlose WebApp im Browser mitspielen bzw. zuschauen. Die DSOL-Leitung empfiehlt Spielern grundsätzlich die Browser-App. Die wichtigen Links: Startseite mit Partiendownload (i. d. R. am nächsten Tag) FAQ Ausschreibung Download Playchess-Client In den Spielwochen freitags 1930 Uhr DSOL-Show mit GM Sebastian Siebrecht auf SchachdeutschlandTV (Twitch) Fortlaufende Berichterstattung auf ChessBase Die Göttinger Mannschaften in Hartwig Hakes Schacharchiv Rundenberichte: - 1. Runde: noch nicht gespielt. Die Links zu den Räumen, wo die Mannschaftskämpfe stattfinden, werden immer erst am Spieltag veröffentlicht und dann hier in die Tabellen eingetragen. Grundsätzlich ist es der Raum der Heimmannschaft; bei technischen Schwierigkeiten kann aber auch mal kurzfristig in den der Gastmannschaft verlegt werden. Es gibt verschiedene Links für Spieler und Zuschauer. Die Links in den untenstehenden Tabellen führen direkt in den richtigen Raum. In den Windows-Klienten findet man den Raum folgendermaßen: Es gibt (meistens unten rechts) ein Fenster, in dem man den Raum wechseln kann. Dort folgt man dem Pfad Turniere → DSB online Liga → → → .

Screenshot der Playchess-Oberfläche von ChessBase 16. Rot markiert ist das Fenster zur Auswahl des gewünschten Raumes.

Screenshot des Pfades in Playchess (ChessBase 16) zum DSOL-Raum des ESV Rot-Weiß Göttingen I in der zweiten Liga Staffel B. 1. Mannschaft Liga 1 Gruppe D TagDatumUhrzeitHeimGastZugang zu ChessBaseMi22.02.2319:30SVG CAISSA Kassel IESV Rot-Weiß Göttingen ISpieler Zuschauer Mi08.03.2319:30ESV Rot-Weiß Göttingen ITSG TauchaSpieler Zuschauer Mi15.03.2319:30SC Fulda IESV Rot-Weiß Göttingen ISpieler Zuschauer Di28.03.2319:30ASV Grün-Weiß WismarESV Rot-Weiß Göttingen ISpieler Zuschauer Mi19.04.2319:30ESV Rot-Weiß Göttingen Ifuß brothers Jena ISpieler Zuschauer Do27.04.2319:30SV HemerESV Rot-Weiß Göttingen ISpieler Zuschauer Mi10.05.2319:30ESV Rot-Weiß Göttingen ISV Erkenschwick ISpieler Zuschauer 2. Mannschaft Liga 4 Gruppe D TagDatumUhrzeitHeimGastZugang zu ChessBaseMi22.02.2319:30ESV Rot-Weiß Göttingen IISV Wermelskirchen IISpieler Zuschauer Do09.03.2319:30SF Königsbronn IIESV Rot-Weiß Göttingen IISpieler Zuschauer Mi15.03.2319:30ESV Rot-Weiß Göttingen IIBSC RehbergeSpieler Zuschauer Mo27.03.2319:30SC Zugzwang IIESV Rot-Weiß Göttingen IISpieler Zuschauer Mi19.04.2319:30ESV Rot-Weiß Göttingen IISF IllingenSpieler Zuschauer Fr28.04.2319:30SF FreibergESV Rot-Weiß Göttingen IISpieler Zuschauer Read the full article

#DSOL #Göttingen #Schach