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killiansprincss · 3 years

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Could This Be Us?

This is my work for @csjanuaryjoy this is my first year taking part and I’m excited to share with you all! I’ve made it my goal to write more this year and this seemed like the best way to do that goal! This is just a cute fluff missing scene that I hope brings you joy!

Also on A03

Summary: set in the few weeks before 4b when everything was clam, Emma and Killian agree to babysit Neal and Emma slowly begins to let down her walls and Killian becomes vulnerable. Pure fluff. Babysitting adventures.

___

Emma was happy. The Snow Queen was gone and Gold was banished to the real world. There was nothing and nobody that could hurt them anymore. They could begin their normal life, well as normal as a town filled with fairytale characters could be. Her parents were Snow White and Prince Charming and her boyfriend was Captain Hook, so it was a little crazy, but for the first time in her life, Emma was truly happy.

She goes downstairs to see her parents cooing over her baby brother. Again, still weird that she was 30 and the same age as her parents, and had a newborn baby brother. Even weirder that he was named after her dead ex boyfriend, but his death did allow them to defeat Zelena. And she couldn’t tell them the horrible things Neal did to her, it would only ruin their sense of hope and belief that everyone could be a hero.

“Morning Kid, want me to drive you to school?” Emma asks her son, as she pours her coffee.

Henry spent 4 days at the Apartment Lot with Emma and his grandparents, and the other 3 days at Regina’s. It was their best attempt at normality, and Henry seemed to like spending time with David, dropping not so subtle hints that he wanted to take up sword fighting lessons.

“It’s okay Mom. I think I’ll walk, Ivy is meeting me early as we’ve got our science project due today so we need to go over everything.” He tells her. He was getting pretty friendly to this Ivy girl, Emma was sure he had his first crush, but wouldn’t say anything in case she ruined anything.

Checking the time and realises she’s late, she takes a final sip of her coffee before saying, “I’ve gotta go. Killian’s helping out at the station today and I’m meeting him at Granny’s for breakfast.” It had become a weekly tradition to meet Killian for breakfast, she was getting him to try everything on the menu, and this week was Pancakes with bacon and maple syrup.

“Wait, Emma before you leave.” David says, picking up Neal from his crib. “We wanted to know if you and Hook would babysit tonight. We haven’t had a night to ourselves in a while.”

Emma smiles, “We would love to. And since when do you approve of Hook babysitting? Does this mean you like him now?”

David rolls his eyes, but can’t stop the smile from his face. Truth is he was warming to the fact that a pirate was dating his daughter, he was a good guy, he cared for Emma and he was proving day by day that he wasn’t the man he was years ago. “He’s still a pirate dating my daughter, so he’s under careful supervision. But if he makes you happy I’m not standing in your way.”

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

“Morning love.” Killian waits for Emma outside the lot, which he really didn’t have to do seeing as he lives in the room he rents at Granny’s.

She gives him a quick kiss, and takes his hand as they start walking. “So my parents have asked us to babysit my brother tonight. I told them we would, I hope that’s okay.”

Killian gives Emma a worried look. “Just so you know Swan, I know nothing about babies, I’m not so sure how helpful I can be.”

Emma smiles at her boyfriend, he could’ve easily said no, but he didn’t. “That’s okay. I didn’t raise Henry, I also don’t know the first thing about babies, so it’ll be an adventure for both of us.”

Killian was so lucky. He truly was the luckiest man in the universe. He never imagined Emma would be with him in the way that she is. He also never imagine he would help look after her baby brother with her. If Liam could see him now, he hoped he would be proud.

They walk into Granny’s hand and hand and sit down in the booth. Emma orders them both Pancakes with bacon and maple syrup, and waits patiently to see what he thinks of them. She shows him that he has to cut into the fluffy circle stack and pour the syrup all over them, the more syrup the better.

His eyes go wide as he chews and realises it’s delicious. “It’s so sweet. This is breakfast food?”

Emma laughs as she digs into her plate. “Oh yeah it’s breakfast all right. I don’t know what you eat for breakfast in the Enchanted Forest but we have many sweet options in this world.”

“Much better than the things I was eating whilst at sea.” He says as he pours even more syrup onto the pancakes.

“And what was that, Rum and more Rum?” She teases as she takes a bite off her plate.

“Ha-Ha Swan. Contrary to your belief, I did eat actual food as a pirate. Not nearly as sweet as this though, it consisted of dried fruits and nuts, then once we docked into port, we were able to have bread and other fresh pastry delicacies.” He chooses to leave out that in Neverland his diet did consist mainly of Rum and non poisonous fruit from the Island.

Emma smiles. This is what happiness looks like. Watching her pirate boyfriend eating Pancakes for the first time. She could get used to it.

/\/\/\/\/\/\

That night, Killian comes over around 6. Her parents had decided to go to a restaurant in town that wasn’t Granny’s, but after constant reminding that Emma had their number to call should anything go wrong. Not that it would. Hopefully.

Emma’s donned her leather jacket for some comfy clothes, leggings and an oversized hoodie, hair in a messy bun. Not her usual sheriff, or saviour look. Killian however is still in his modern leather jacket and jeans, not quite understanding that babysitting would be much easier in comfy clothes.

“Here, put these on.” She tosses him a pair of David’s clothes, sweatpants and a grey t-shirt, hopefully her dad won’t mind, he did say he was liking Hook more and more every day.

“Swan, the clothes in your world are utterly ridiculous.” He says as comes out of the bathroom, looking a lot less like a pirate, and more like a man.

Emma smiles, she had to say he looked good in sweatpants. “Trust me if Neal pukes all over you, it’s a lot easier to get it out of an old t shirt that it would out of leather.”

Killian looked vulnerable. For the first time really. She’d seen him in a lot less clothing before, but she never noticed how vulnerable it makes him look. Underneath all the leather, was a man who had been broken before.

He looks down at his Hook, “do you want me to take this off?”

Emma immediately tells him no. “I don’t see why you should. It’s a part of you, and he’s gonna have to get used to it.”

Killian smiles, the little prince will have to get used to it. Because he’s not going anywhere, he’s sticking around. He will never leave Emma like all those before.

“So where is the Little Prince then?” He asks.

Emma leads him over to the crib in the corner of the room, “Do you want to hold him?”

Emma trusts him. Wholeheartedly. So he agrees to hold the baby.

Neal fusses at first in Killians arms, but he fusses with everyone. He just needs to get used to it.

“Am I doing it okay Swan?” Killian asks as he fusses, but he isn't crying which is a good thing.

“You're doing great.” Emma smiles at him. This was a rare sight, Captain Hook in sweatpants holding a baby. Emma was getting butterflies in her stomach looking at it. She and Killian had been together for a few months now but she could already see a future with him. Being with him was so different than it ever was with Neal, even Walsh, despite it being all fake, was so different to Killian. He never tried to shower her with gifts or presents or big romantic gestures like Walsh. Killian was just there, by her side. And that's all she wanted.

“I think the Little Prince likes me.” Kilian beams as Neal starts laughing at the faces Killian was pulling.

It was scary. Emma was sure she was in love with him. She just couldn’t bring herself to say the words out loud. Because as soon as she said them, things would change between them and it would become real. When she told Neal she loved him, he left her. Killian wouldn't leave, she knows that. But it still scares her.

“Oh no. No. Swan. What’s happening, why is the little lad crying?” Killian asks frantically, starting to panic that he was doing something wrong.

“He’s hungry,” Emma tells him, grabbing his bottle from the counter. “This should be warm enough by now.”

Killian takes the bottle and gets Neal to drink.

“You gotta make sure you’re holding his head, it’s sensitive at this age.” Emma says making his arm support her brother's head.

“You’re good at this you know.” He says as she helps him. “How is it you know all this?”

“Just watching my mom do it really. Also, my cursed memories of me raising Henry. Even though it didn’t happen, I remember learning everything from the books. I remember staying up all night when he cried, and learning how to be a mother at barely 18.” She decided to confide in him, she’s never told anyone about her cursed memories, or about her time in prison, but she feels like she can confide in him, tell him anything without being judged.

“I was 17 when I gave birth, cursed or not, I turned 18 a month later and a few weeks after that I was released from prison. It wasn’t my finest moment, but in my cursed memories I had Henry to keep me going. When I woke up and got my memories back, it made me wish I never gave him up. Because those 12 years were the best 12 years of my life.”

It feels good to open up. She’s letting him in slowly, but it feels nice. He doesn’t pry, he doesn’t ask too many questions, he just listens to her.

“After our father abandoned us, Liam practically raised me. I felt empty and hurt, but Liam, he was there even in my darkest days. The best years of my life was when we were in the Navy together, before it all went wrong.”

They were two halves of the same coin, both abandoned and lost everyone they ever cared about. But together they were healing, both themselves and each other.

“I think he likes you!” Emma says wiping her tears away as Neal becomes fascinated with Killian's Hook.

Killian looks down at the little prince in his arms to see him trying to grab his Hook with his tiny little fingers. “Everyone likes me Swan. I’m not surprised your brother does too.”

“I didn’t like you at first.” Emma teases.

“Aye but my charming wits and looks won you over eventually.” He teases back, causing the smile that he loves to see.

It would be so easy in this moment to say the three words. Killian knew it the moment she kissed him back in Neverland, and in the missing year he realised how much he loved her when he thought he’d never see her again. But he knows better. If he said the words right now, it would cause a rift, and maybe cause her to run. So he doesn’t, he will wait for her to say the words first. He’ll wait forever to hear her say it, it doesn’t matter. As long as they’re together.

“I think I’m getting the hang of it Swan!” He speaks too soon as he begins to rock the little prince to sleep, he decides to bring up the contents of his tiny stomach all over Killian.

Emma tries not to laugh, but she can’t help it as laughter fills the lot.

She takes Neal from Killian so he can clean the sick off his shirt, “told you this would be a better idea, imagine trying to get that off your leather vest. There's another one of David shirts on top of the dryer, you can put the dirty shirt in the basket with the other dirty laundry.”

Looking after her baby brother with her 300 year old boyfriend is honestly not even the weirdest thing about her life at the moment. But it’s something that she never thought she would be doing, she was 17 when she gave Henry up and she thought she would never want kids, or even be ready after that. But just seeing how good Killian was with her brother, it got her thinking could she want this life? It wasn’t off the table. A baby with her hair and Killians eyes. Maybe one day.

___

“He won’t stop crying. Why won’t he stop crying?” Emma cries. They had been trying to settle him for almost an hour now and she’s getting tired. If this was a recurring thing then maybe having a baby of her own wasn’t something she wanted. Especially as it was barely 8.30.

“What else can we try?” Killian asks with Neal in his arms trying to send him to sleep by rocking him slowly.

“I don’t suppose you know a lullaby?” Emma asks, half joking, not really expecting him to.

Except he starts to sing, or hum a melody. It’s quiet enough that she can’t hear the lyrics properly, but Neal seems to like it. So much so that it stirs him off to sleep.

Emma’s really impressed. “That doesn’t sound like a sea shanty. Since when does Captain Hook know a lullaby?”

“My mother used to sing it to me and Liam. Before she died that is.” He tells her, putting Neal down slowly into his crib.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don't be, love. It was a long time ago.”

“Can you tell me about her?” She asks.

“I was 5 when she died, Liam was 8. I don’t remember much about her, Liam probably remembers more. But I know she was tough, she wouldn’t have taken my fathers bullshit. She used to sing that to Liam and I every night before we went to sleep. I sang it to myself sometimes on the Jolly in Neverland after Liam died. It comforted me.” He brushes it off as if it’s nothing, similar to how Emma talks about her past. She takes his hand and interweines their fingers as she leads them back to the couch.

“I like hearing stories about your past. About your pre-pirate days. Reminds me you weren’t always cursed.”

She wraps her fingers around his Hook, she’s never been afraid of it. Or afraid of the man attached to the Hook. She can’t help but imagine one day a baby with her hair and his eyes fiddling with his Hook the way her brother did tonight. And that’s scary.

Emma has a way of seeing the good in him, despite his cruel actions she sees beyond it, sees the pain it’s caused him in the past few years as he attempts to better himself. “I certainly was cursed with bad luck but sadly my actions were of my own accord. But I’ll tell you one story of the time Liam and I got caught in a storm at sea. Liam was a Lieutenant at that point and wanted to prove he could handle it, the stubborn arse.”

And so he tells her stories of his time in the Navy. He tells her anything she wants to hear, and he realises this is the first time anyone has really asked about Liam, or his past. The women he spent the night with back in the Enchanted Forest, well they never did much talking. And with Milah, she was focused on forgetting her past so didn’t care much to ask about his.

“I wish you could’ve met him. He would’ve loved you.” It’s nice, speaking about Liam, telling her the stories he hasn’t really ever told anyone-or thought about in centuries.

Snow and Charming return a few hours later, to find their daughter and Hook asleep on the couch, Emma’s head resting on the Pirates chest. Snow smiles at the sight, and even David isn’t appalled at the sight either, appreciating that his daughter is happy. Snow grabs a blanket and covers the two of them.

“Is that my shirt?” David whisper screams at his wife seeing the pirate wearing his clothes.

#cs January joy 2021 #csjj 2021 #captain swan #killian jones #Emma swan #cs ff #captain swan fanfic #my writing

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l-a-r-r-yspellslove · 4 years

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The 5,000 Question Survey - Part One

1. Who are you? Hi, I’m Ronda. 2. What are the 3 most important things everyone should know about you? one - I try to be as non-judgmental as possible. two - I say fuck a lot. three - I like to make stuff and bake stuff and write stuff and draw stuff. 3. When you aren't filling out 5,000 question surveys like this one what are you doing? Reading, watching tv, writing, making stuff, working on puzzles, babysitting my niece. 4. List your classes in school from the ones you like the most to the ones you like the least (or if you are out of school, think of the classes you did like and didn't like at the time). art, french, theater, math, uhhhh history, science. From high school, like 10 years ago :/

5. What is your biggest goal for this year? uhhhh to be more financially responsible. I’ll have less money once my niece starts kindergarten in the fall and that means I need to spend less and figure out other ways to make money. 6. Where do you want to be in 5 years? Fuck, I don’t know. The future gives me anxiety. Like, major anxiety. 7. What stage of life are you in right now? The I’m completely fucked up and don’t know where this is going stage. 8. Are you more child-like or childish? Child-like. 9. What is the last thing you said out loud? “She said they were having a weiner roast.” 10. What song comes closest to how you feel about your life right now? Girl - Maren Morris or Don’t Let It Break Your Heart - Louis Tomlinson 11. Have you ever taken martial arts classes? nope. 12. Does your life tend to get better or worse or does it just stay the same? mostly the same. Pain days are worse. Energetic days are better. 13. Does time really heal all wounds? As a spoonie, I say no. 14. How do you handle a rainy day? Well, rain tends to trigger a migraine, so I spend it in bed or wishing I was in bed. 15. Which is worse...losing your luggage or having to sort out tangled holiday lights? Losing your luggage. 16. How is your relationship with your parents? I have a good relationship with my mom, I think. We get along and all. My dad, on the other hand, I don’t talk to much. I feel like as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized more how things that happened when I was a kid affected me. And he used to yell a lot and I’d hide in my room and cry. So. Yeah. Will you miss them when they are gone? I’m sure. 17. Do you tend to be aware of what is going on around you? Sometimes 18. What is the truest thing that you know? Life isn’t fair. 19. What did you want to be when you grew up? uhhh, when I was really little I remember wanting to be a teacher. Later, I wanted to be a translator. I remember at one bible camp I thought I could learn obscure languages and translate the bible for them. When I was in college, I started to realize I wanted to be a writer I think, but I majored in Marketing because it seemed like a safer option and I was too far into a business degree before I realized I hated business. And yeah, so I minored in English Lit. And that degree hasn’t ended up doing me any good because I ended up applying for disability not too long after graduating college. 20. Have you ever been given a second chance? I can’t think of a specific instance, but I’m sure I’ve been given many. 21. Are you more of a giver or a taker? Giver. 22. Do you make your decisions with an open heart/mind? Try to. 23. What is the most physically painful thing that has ever happened to you? a Chiari headache. 24. What is the most emotionally painful thing that has ever happened to you? when my grandpa died. 25. Who have you hugged today? no one. It’s Saturday and I’ve been home alone most of the day. 26. Who has done something today to show they care about you? I can’t think of anything today. My mom did some of my laundry yesterday, so I guess I’d count that. And H is always doing sweet little stuff. 27. Do you have a lot to learn? Always 28. If you could learn how to do three things just by wishing and not by working what would they be? Coding - I mean, I know little things, but if I could be like a computer whiz, it’d be great. Mastering photoshop - Same as above, basically. and uhhhhmmmm, maybe like knowing every language or at least every major language fluently?

29. Which do you remember the longest: what other people say, what other people do or how other people make you feel? How they make me feel. 30. What are the key ingredients to having a good relationship? Communication, trust, consideration. 31. What 3 things do you want to do before you die? A - have a meaningful romantic relationship B - impact someone’s life in a significantly positive way C - travel around Europe 32. What three things would you want to die to avoid doing? A - running a marathon B - living completely alone in the world C - reading After and its series 33. Is there a cause you believe in more than any other cause? equal rights 34. What does each decade make you think of: The 19.. 20's: flapper dresses 30's: idk like the depression? 40's:the war? WWII? 50's: poodle skirts and Grease 60's: idk, ummmm, yeah, i got nothin’ 70's: totally blanking 80's: lots of colorful clothing and big hair? was that this decade? 90's: childhood, Friends, friends, elementary school 2000′s: junior high, high school, graduating high school

10′s: college, the decade that America voted orange scum into the presidency

20′s: hopefully the decade that America votes better

35. Which decade do you feel the most special connection to and why? I feel like this is such a 90s kid answer, but I guess the 90s because it was before everything started drastically changing so much. Like, technology and stuff. 36. What is your favorite oldie/classic rock song? Old Time Rock and Roll the kinda music just soothes the soul. I reminisce about the days of old. With that old time Rock and Roll. 37. What country do you live in and who is the leader of that country? USA, orange scum. If you could say any sentence to the current leader of your country what would it be? Eat dirt and die trash. 38. What's your favorite TV channel to watch in the middle of the night? TVLand it used to be before the age of netflix and streaming and such 39. What Disney villain are you the most like and why? is the Cheshire Cat a villain? Because I want to answer him, because he has no direction and is terrible at giving directions haha 40. Have you ever been a girl scout/boy scout? I was a girl scout from kindergarten through 7th grade. 41. If you were traveling to another continent would you rather fly or take a boat? Fly 42. Why is the sky blue during the day and black at night? I dunno. Something to do with the sun. 43. What does your name mean? Grand 44. Would you rather explore the deeps of the ocean or outer space? Outer space. 45. Word association What is the first word that comes to mind when you see the word: Air: water Meat: balls Different: same Pink: fluff Deserve: reward White:clouds Elvis: hair Magic: sparks Heart: filled Clash: titans Pulp: fiction 46. If you could meet any person in the world who is dead who would you want it to be? Walt Disney 47. What if you could meet anyone who is alive? Harry Styles 48. Is there a movie that you love so much you could watch it everyday? Frozen and Frozen 2 and all of the Toy Story’s 49. You are going to be stuck alone in an elevator for a week. What do you bring to do? enough food for the week I assume is included. Laptop, ipad, a few books, chargers for laptop and ipad, a sudoku book, yarn and crochet stuff 50. Have you ever saved someone's life or had your life saved? I don’t think so.

51. Make up a definition for the following silly words... Fruitgoogle: verb. To search the web without aim. Ambytime: noun. The time at which to amble around. Asscactus: noun. A prick who knows and doesn’t care that he’s a total prick. 52. What was the last thing you made with your own hands? Crochet dress for my niece. 53. What was your favorite toy as a child? I remember this big semi truck that I loved a lot. 54. How many TV’s are in your house? Four 55. What is your favorite thing to do outside? I don’t like going outside, tbh. I guess I’d say swimming, though. And I don’t really like to do that much, sooo 56. How do you feel when you see a rainbow? Happy 57. Have you ever dreamt a dream that came true? Oh yeah. 58. Have you ever been to a psychic/tarot reader? Nope. 59. What is your idea of paradise? An endless library filled with every book, tv show, movie, musical, play in existence with and super comfy chair and an endless supply of whatever food I could think of wanting. 60. Do you believe in god and if so what is he/she/it like? God is love. 61. Do you believe in Hell? Everyone carries a little piece of hell around inside of them. 62. What one thing have you done that most people haven't? uhhh crocheted an entire blanket? 63. What is the kindest thing you have ever done? I have no idea. 64. Are you a patient person? Some days. 65. What holiday should exist but doesn't? Reading day. 66. What holiday shouldn't exist but does? Columbus Day 67. What's the best joke you ever heard? fuck, i don’tknow 68. Where is the most fun place you have EVER been? Disney World, duh. 69. Is your hair natural or dyed? dyed but my roots are showing terribly because my hair grows so fucking fast. 70. Do you have any deep dark secrets or are you pretty much up front? I’m fairly upfront, but not many people know I write fanfic, especially don’t know that I write smutty fanfic haha. 71. What is under your bed right now? A lot of storage stuff and my suitcase that is also storing blankets i believe 72. If you were in the Land of Oz would you want to live there or go home? I don’t think they had WiFi, so I’m gonna say go home. 73. If you drive do you frequently speed? Just a little 74. What is the world's best song to dance to? Best Song Ever hahahahahahaha 75. What song was on the last time you danced with someone? I cannot remember the last time I danced with anyone or by myself. I don’t really dance much. Maybe high school prom lol or maybe ZTA formal 76. Do you prefer Disney or Warner Brothers? Disney 77. What is the first animal you would run to see if you went to the zoo? penguins 78. Would you consider yourself to be romantic? yes 79. If the earth stopped rotating would we all fly off? i don’t think so? 80. What is the one thing that you love to do so much that you would make sacrifices to be able to do it? write 81. If you (and everyone) had to lose one right or freedom, but you could pick which one everyone had to lose, what would you pick? the right to own/use a gun for anything other than hunting wild animals. and only the animals that you’re supposed to be allowed to hunt like deer and stuff. 82. If you had to choose would you live on the equator or at the North Pole? There isn’t even a place to live on the North Pole, is there? What kind of question is this? I will answer the South Pole because that’s where people do live (scientists but still) and there are penguins.

83. Would you rather give up listening to music or watching television? oh god. Don’t make me choose. 84. What do you think makes someone a hero? I think hero is more of a verb than a noun. And putting others’ needs ahead of your own. 85. What cartoon would you like to be a character in? Frozen. 86. Name one thing that turns your stomach: like, seed pods or whatever they’re called that have all the uneven little holes and stuff? I don’t even know what they’re called exactly but the give me the fucking heebiejeebies 87. What was the last thing you paid for? Yarn 88. Are you a coupon clipper? Sometimes 89. Get anything good in the mail recently? I finally got Louis’s CD that was included in my concert ticket purchase today. 90. Which would you rather take as a gym class...dancing, sailing, karate, or bowling? bowling 91. In Star Trek people 'beam' back and forth between different places. What this means is they stand in a little tube and their molecules are deconstructed and sent to another tube somewhere else where they are reassembled. Only problem is when the molecules are deconstructed the person is dead. When they are put back together it is only a clone that has all the dead person's memories. So... Is the person who gets beamed the same person on both ends? Technically, it’s a clone, but clone’s are the same person basically? So no? But soft of? 92. What insects are you afraid of? Bees, wasps, anything that has a stinger. 93. If you could print any phrase on a T-shirt, what would it say? Dude, this is 2020, you can totally print any phrase you want on a t-shirt. I’m currently contemplating a Golden Girls shirt, though. Either ‘Picture It Sicily 1922′ or ‘Eat dirt and die trash’ 94. What's the most eccentric thing you have ever worn? I wore a rainbow tutu to pride? Does that count? And my hair is currently blue, so I feel like probably that. 95. If you could pick one food that you could eat all you wanted but it would have no effect on how much you weigh, what food would it be? OREOS 96. What are your parents interested in? uhh, my dad watches a lot of tv and my mom likes to craft and hoard crafting supplies basically. 97. Have you ever caught an insect and kept it as a pet? I had a caterpillar that I kept and was disappointed when it turned into a moth. Have you ever caught and tamed a wild animal? No. 98. What is more helpful to you, wishes or plans? Wishes 99. When do you feel your life energy the strongest? when i’m writing 100. You are spending the night alone in the woods and may bring only 3 items with you. What do you bring?

phone (with flashlight and a full battery), sleeping bag, and water

#the 5000 question survey #personal #me #whatever i was bored and i've had this thing bookmakred to do forever

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marauder--harder · 7 years

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P.S. I Love You- A Sirius Black Imagine

A/N: I know, I know, two imagines in one night? Anyways, this is a little something that I decided to work on and post tonight in dedication to @goblackhatwithme . I hope you enjoy it, Renee! There are probably many mistakes in this so I am sorry but I wanted to get this posted tonight. This also has nothing to do with the film “P.S. I Love You,” but I thought it was a cute title. Hope you all enjoy!

It was a lazy Saturday afternoon. You were in the boys’ dormitory, lounging on Sirius’ bed and waiting for him to get out of the shower. You sighed in slight annoyance as you knew it was going to be a while. He was always so keen on using the “finest muggle products for his precious hair” and cursed Lily and yourself for showing them to him in the first place.

His showers always took at least an hour, actually longer when you were around him because he tended to ask you to join him. You were never one to say no to the boy, especially when you both were very, er- hygienic, to say the least.

Shaking yourself of such thoughts, you sat up and looked around the room. You knew it well, as Sirius and you had spent many days holed up together cuddling on a cold winter’s day, or sent nights forcing him to study for an upcoming exam. You were the only one who got Sirius Black to study, and always had to persuade him with rewards. Mainly kisses.

As you looked at his trunk at the end of his bed your eyes lit up and quickly walked over to it. Even though it was the first day of spring, it was still quite cool outside and you loved borrowing his sweaters. They rivaled Remus’ in the level of comfiness, only beating his when they smelled like his cologne.

You were rummaging through the trunk, set on finding a particular favorite jumper of his, when you came across a small box that you had never seen before. Picking it up, you brushed off the small amount of dust on the worn top of the box. It looked old and like it had been opened and shut many times. Part of the edge was chipped off, and it had two initials carved into the top: S.B. It was clearly Sirius’ but you had never seen him with the tiny package. You slowly went to open it when you paused.

You shouldn’t be snooping through his stuff. If you had never seen it before then it was probably for good reason. He’s allowed to keep things to himself, why should you invade his privacy? Huffing softly, you stared down at this moral dilemma in your hands. It was just so tempting, and you had always been too curious for your own good. One peek wouldn’t hurt, would it?

You carefully lifted open the box, and pulled out its content. A pile of old papers, a ring, and some photographs. You smiled softly, quite surprised by your discovery.

You had recognized the ring as one his dad gave him when he was a young boy. He said that it was the ring that was handed down through the generations in the Black family and he hoped that he’d hand it down to his son one day. You smiled sadly at the thought. Even if things with his family had fallen apart, he still kept something that was close to his father.

The photographs were ones from his entire lifetime. Some older, more frayed, and some were crisp and new, like they had been taken recently. They were of him and his friends, him and you, and some old ones with him and Regulus as kids. They looked so happy, so carefree that it warmed your heart. At least they were close at one point.

You laughed slightly when you came across one of the marauders and you, all laughing while you pointed at Sirius with ice cream in his hair. It was taken on one of the last days of 5th year, when James dumped his ice cream on his friend’s head because he made fun of his chances with Lily. The boys were always messing around with one another and your heart swelled at the sweet memory.

Quietly, you looked down at the stack of papers. There were two, one pile looking considerably more well read than the other. You picked up the well read stack first and plucked one from the top. Opening it, you realized they were letters. Your letters, more specifically. They were the letters you had wrote him two summers ago--ones that you thought he never got. He had never responded to a single one you wrote him. You had wondered why he never returned any letter the entire summer, it nagging at you until you thought you had gone mad. Just as the beginning of that August went by, you had stopped sending him anything, believing that his parents were hiding them from him or that they were being delivered to the wrong house.

However, your eyes went to the other stack of papers in the bottom of the box, folded crisply and looking entirely less worn. They didn’t seem like they were nearly as well read. You hesitantly opened one and read it.

June 7th, 1974

Dear Y/N,

I got your letter today. I had to sneak it in past my parents, but I got it through. Reg said that he’d buffer all of my mail that I got for me, so you don’t have to worry about me not getting them.

I’m so glad to hear from you, you have no idea. I know the break has just barely started but I am already counting the days until I get to go back. It is terrible here. Mum is set on teaching me ‘the proper, Black way of life.’ It is repulsive. She takes me to these fancy galas, trying to ‘find a suitable partner,’ which means a rich, snotty, air-head pure blood. I can’t stand going to them anymore. Although, I’m thinking of making them slightly more fun--the marauder way. I’d bet you be rolling your eyes at that.

Y/N, I miss you. Probably more than you know. I hate it when I’m not around you, you know. It seems like everything is so bloody boring and dull. Hell, it is boring and dull when you’re not around. Look, I know that I’m no good with words, but there is something I feel like I need to tell you.

You are the best friend I’ve ever had. Don’t tell James I said that, but it’s true. I’ve never felt this way about anyone, and I know that you make my world so much brighter, so much better. I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have you in my life. You mean so much to me, darling. You’re smart, and disciplined, yet you still know how to have fun. You have the most gorgeous laugh, honestly I think I could listen to it all day. And bloody hell, you are so very beautiful. I know you don’t see it, but I wish you would. You have such a natural beauty, without even trying. You drive me insane, Y/N.

I know it was a terrible way of telling you, but every time I think of you I seem to get all jumbled up. Words just don’t seem to do you justice. You are so much more.

Anyways, I hope you are doing well, sweetheart. I cannot wait to hear from you again, as I think it will be the only thing to get me through this dreadful summer. And I hope I didn’t scare you off.

Eagerly waiting for your response,

S.B.

You folded up the letter, and put it back down. So he did get the letters? Why didn’t he ever send them? Did his parents end up stopping him from sending it? Hesitantly, you read through more of the letters until you finally realized why he didn’t send any of them. It was a passage from one in the middle of July:

I know you are probably wondering why you aren’t getting any letters back, and I am so sorry for that. If you ever confront me, I’ll probably lie and say that my parents took them away. I’m sorry for that too. Although, knowing you, you probably wouldn’t ask. You’d just be going barking mad waiting all summer for a reply. But I can’t bring myself to send you anything.

I know it seems strange, and rather rude, but I have realized something since the moment I finished writing you that first letter. I know it would freak you out, mostly because it freaks me out. I haven’t even said it out loud yet. But I think that you have the right to know, even if you never get this letter.

I love you.

I know, I know, the infamous heart-breaker Sirius Black fell for someone. It is hard to believe, right? I don’t know how it happened, but it did. And I am so, so sorry it did. I know that I’ll never be good enough for you. I know that I’ll never be able to give you what so many others can. But I can’t help but look at you and fall deeper.

And you have no idea how much that scares me. I’m not supposed to love anyone. I’m not supposed to care. It isn’t who I am. It is my one rule. Yet, whenever you are around, it seems that I don’t even remember why I had that rule to begin with. You are so perfect, Y/N. Too perfect. And I know that you’ll never love someone as childish and egotistical as me, but maybe you might find it in your heart to try?

When we go back to school, if you don’t hate me for ignoring you all summer, I am going to try and win you over. I know it seems stupid, and could end up making you despise me for good, but I can’t go knowing that I love you and not have at least tried to do something about it.

And he did. You had always wondered what changed between you two once you got back from summer vacation. He had said that when he saw you on the platform, he thought you looked more beautiful. He said that you grew into yourself that summer, and that you became more confident. You would have never known that he not only liked you, but loved you since that July.

Smiling widely, you put down the letters and placed everything back into the box neatly, the way you had found it. You closed the lid and stared at the initials scrawled into the top. You smiled and picked up your wand, muttering a small spell to engrave your initials next to his. Hopefully he will see it and know that you looked into it.

You put back the box and closed his trunk, content with not finding his sweater. The heat in your chest had spread throughout your entire body, warming it nicely.

Just as you sat back down on his bed, Sirius appeared in the room clearly done with his shower.

“What were you doing?” He asked, his signature smirk plastered on his face along with a curiously arched brow.

“Just thinking.” You replied, and walked over to him, draping your arms around his neck lazily.

“About what?”

You beamed up at him, your heart feeling so incredibly full with love for the handsome boy in front of you. “About how much I love you.”

He laughed heartily at your response and brought his hands to your hips. He pulled you close to him, your body now pressed against his bare, slightly damp chest.

“Well, I’m glad then, because come to think of it, I was just thinking about how much I love you.”

You quirked an eyebrow questioningly and leaned in close enough so your lips were almost brushing. “Oh yeah? And how much is that?”

You felt, rather than heard, him exhale, and your head spun with the intoxicating scent of him.

“Why don’t I show you, love?” He whispered, and closed the gap between the two of you, pressing his lips to yours.

You kissed back passionately, and he smiled softly into the kiss, thinking back to the moment he realized he was in love with you.

He was petrified then, so incredibly scared of loving someone that much. But now, with him holding you in his arms, he realized how much you’ve taught him. You taught him how to be a better student, a better friend, and a better person. You taught him how to truly be a man. Most importantly, you taught him how to love; and for that he couldn’t be more thankful.

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