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#BUT IN AN EVEN REALER WAY——
itspileofgoodthings · 9 months
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it’s the way Ryan Gosling plays Ken’s feelings for Barbie for me. because the feelings are unreal and fake in the way of a doll but they’re also intensely real in the way of his actual personality/who he actually is.
#it’s the way he looks at her sometimes when she isn’t looking at him#and it’s just full of intense longing and vulnerability#so it’s that combination that I love SO much#which is over-the-top cartoonish-ness that’s full of PERSONALITY and excess and conviction#and then this core of -well I already said it but INTENSE vulnerability#it’s Michael Scott in love with Holly. It’s Schmidt in love with Cece#and the way Ryan plays it is even more so because he’s a doll and of course in a real way his love for her is not a real thing#BUT IN AN EVEN REALER WAY——#To paraphrase Michael Scott (!!!!!)#it’s the realest thing anyone in Barbieland has ever known (to paraphrase Taylor)!#like he’s the only one trying to do anything real!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#and so for me my Barbie takes are all secondhand#because the story they’re telling has some narrative cracks and weaknesses in it#but also I kind of don’t care because they’re not focusing on the story that is the most interesting to me personally#which is this hilarious icon of a cartoon man who is—somewhere in the depths of his little plastic Ken heart—really in love#and I know it seems like I’m just repeating and twisting what the movie DOES say. that he’s in love but it’s fake and he has to get over it#to be his own person#but that’s only the one layer for me!!!!!!#and it’s a true one. I actually love his existential crisis and the moment where he’s forced to be his own person (doll)#and that’s the best thing Barbie could do for him in that moment#but it only addresses part of the situation —the part of his feelings that are fake. it doesn’t actually see or do anything#with the real love that’s also somehow by the magic of personality there#And it pretends it isn’t. BUT IT IS ALSKKSKSJEJJE#like I’m SORRY but he is just an absolute magnet for her and he’s so deeply responsive to her presence underneath all of the exaggeration#it’s in his eyes it’s in his voice!!!!! like. Sorry I know love when I see it akskksksksksjsj#and yeah that love is very decidedly not in her character and at this stage that made sense for it not to be#because of her journey to humanity etc. but I wanted them to do something with that real love in Ken and they don’t even see it#which is OKAY because tbh I’m mostly just delighted that it’s THERE#but yeah. That’s the most interesting part of the movie to me#how could it not be
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stewyhosseini-bf · 1 year
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fucked up thing about kendall is that he is so scared of becoming his father when it comes to being a parent, he became his mother instead. completely physically and emotionally absent and blaming the other parent for the childrens' problems, because they're in their lives, while never acknowledging how their own absence has contributed to it.
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kkoct-ik · 4 months
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how are you supposed to react to the realisation that your parent is like actually abusive
#kostik speaks#this is not the first time. or the second. or the. i just keep realising this and then forgetting to protect myself#abuse#domestic abuse#for cw#im processing today that its not normal for your parent to not care about your feelings or pain at all#like them hurting you for hours because theyre angry and not caring because the only thing that matters is that theyre mad at you#im realising that might not be normal#my household is shit in a lot of other ways but my mum situation is really difficult for me to process#at least with house being bad its kinda nebulous and a feeling#processing that my mum mistreats me and all her kids is kind of realer and uh. therefore harder#i dont get it#why cant she be normal#why cant she be nice?? i dunno. i genuinely cannot fathom a mum being nice or fair or even#its just relentless rage or offense the moment you make a mistake or make her look bad#as long as youre helpful and make her look good shes fine#but god forbid youre a child and make a mistake because youre a child. god forbid you be autistic and struggle#i dont understand its so inconsistent. sometimes she sounds like she cares. she advocates for all sorts of stuff#but if shes mad at you youre not a person anymore. you dont deserve rights or dignity or sympathy. i dont get it#and christ it doesnt take much for her to be mad at you. she never lets go grudges anyway so you never know when itll come#sorry for abuse posting i recently came back from home and had therapy about it and then a chat with my flatmate about abusive parenting#my brain is working
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yamikawaii · 2 months
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i wanna go home i wanna be with yoomiee
#im rlly sleepy and just thinking#theres nowhere thats ever rlly felt like ''home'' to me even the house i lived in for the first 18 years of my life even the one i do now#ig bc in both of them and in any other place ive been i was never rlly a priority i was just.someone existing there#ive never rlly been anyones Equal.may be an inferiority complex but it feels like sinking and ive never known what its like to not feel it#i just feel the inherent knowledge that im below everyone else at all times idk#but i like to imagine me and yoomtah as Equal no matter what kinda actual enhancements she has as a cyborg we're on the same level#bc i think the only way i'll feel ''home'' is by being acknowledged as something that is Not inferior#as something that deserves a place to exist comfortably without feeling entirely alienated and lost#and i can kinda imagine what itd feel like when i envision her and i together#with the exact same love and respect for each other just being comfortable together feeling At Home with each other#its warm and comforting but it doesnt feel like much more than an idea bc ive never rlly had it for real#also im aware that irl me wouldnt be equal to her at all bc she can do Everything and iiiiiiii Cant do anything ever#but my si aka realer-than-irl me has cool magical girl powers and has killed for her multiple times so its fineeeeeeeeeee#i would be unstoppable if this vessel i was placed in could shoot heart shaped lasers but alas#does any of this even make any sense jm rlly tired and just rambling abt yoomtah As usual#i want to go home i want her to take me home
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clowndensation · 5 months
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wait do you all remember gamlen "an elf, huh? i guess i don't have to ask which one of you's the girl" amell? world's worst most homophobic racist uncle <3
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fizzlehead · 6 months
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laughing my ass off bcus for fantasy figure skating this week (yeah i said fantasy figure skating don’t even worry about it) i came in (out of 691 entrants) 357th for pairs, 593rd for womens and 613th for dance but for men i came in a cool 9th place. ok!
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Part of the reason vigilante 1983 is so incomprehensible in terms of its politics is because the two options are killing people or handing them over to the criminal justice system, which is also acknowledged to be broken, but specifically in a right wing crime fear mongering way of being too WEAK and letting the bad guys LOOSE. So vigilante is a anti-vigilantism comic that still believes that the problem is the bad guys aren't getting punished harshly enough. This is why its driven me to madness.
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broke-on-books · 11 months
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Don't know exactly how to express this in words but the Fast Car Tracy Chapman youtube comments section is a new emotion on its own
#i was going to take a screenshot of one comment but i just kept scrolling down and almost all of them were just affecting me#like i closed my eyes and listened to the song but scrolling through what people all over the world had to say was something as well#just the mix of appreciation for the music and love for it and how it affects all these people mixed with snippets of stories of#people using this song to get them through or inspire them to get themselves out of terrible situations#its just... things that make you feel human#its like this is a persons story. these are people we are all people and come from different places and have gone through different things#but we can all relate and feel the same. no matter where we come from we can feel the wish to escape the want to be somebody the desire to#change and the hope to do so. but theres also the fear and the responsibility and through all of that just wanting someone to love you and#go with you and not be alone#its just things that are real and true and make you feel how much of a person you are#i 100% recommend listening to fast car on youtube right now and then scrolling through and reading some of those messages by the way#its a whole other emotion of its own#its like the fast car tracy chapman emotion but more and even realer if that is even possible#its like one commenter said the song was a novel in five minutes but listening and then reading is even more than that. its not a book its#not a library its all these stories and lives around you coming together with your own in this one spot this one means of understanding and#through that you see part of all these journeys and these people and all understand each other and yourself and what it means to be a person#a little more#that seems like a lot of stuff but i dont know what to tell you. its true.
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garbagequeer · 11 months
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i cant come into work today boss i have to Realize
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Coach Taylor would have been a Roman general if he was born in a different time
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pansyfemme · 1 year
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the version of my body that exists now , post t and surgery is entirely different from the idea i have of what my cis male body would look like and at some point i just have to accept that both are good and affirming
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williamshamspeare · 1 year
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IM ALIVE thet still didnt tell me why they got my ass but IM ALIVE
Amii is alive!! Let's hope this whole incident was a one-time happening
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illuminiscentboba · 2 years
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Yalllllllll I’m thinking of reconnecting w a friend I haven’t been around in a little while 😭😭😭 we’re on good terms and she’s v sweet and nice but since I haven’t been at school (all of my classes r online) I haven’t seen her in like more than 2 years 😭 and 3 years ago I haven’t got much time to acc interact w her bc our schedules were conflicting anyways 😭
note; PLS AFTER THE TAGS MAYBE THIS NEEDS A TRIGGER WARNING ?? 😭💀 or like a tw; neg
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truly thinking of like Just Being Yourself as a supposed matter of being More spontaneous and not being caught up in your own head about it or whatever, but then the nd perspective (and really potentially anyone who’s Being Themself isn’t sufficiently of the “normal”) wherein it’s like, the more everyday / usual approach is of course to filter oneself / mask, but you don’t even know that until you learn of it and then like, think through it re: yourself, and then doing Less of that and figuring out what you do when you’re not masking Is like, added effort and a conscious process. and how things can involve not just tamping down xyz but adding in various behaviors for others’ sake, or just that like, things you haven’t Yet tamped down at all b/c you think they’re things you’re doing Right or Have To Do / i.e. would be covered under masking anyways if you didn’t do them “enough” already, but then it’s like, maybe this is generally a waste of my energy at best if not also effectively punished lmao and even if i’d “naturally” do it, again it can be matter of consciously Choosing not to, not b/c it’s not being yourself, but just b/c of using that awareness to like, i’m not going to do that in the majority of situations but i know it’s because of other people’s nonsense. that’s me and like, [talking] lately lol
and certainly it’s like. oh haven’t found yourself in time for college, better go to a house party or something elevated and conveniently more interesting to look at than a scene in a high school hallway, y.a. protagonist, and follow your increasing rate of impulsive decisions to the core of Your Truth like a geiger counter lmao, quick....i mean not like anyone has to have their life figured out by eighteen b/c that’s just not how it works anyways, or like you either have your secret realest self under lock and key to just be let out eventually here or like yeah better find it on one especial occasion, and that occasion should be about cutting loose & shit, like oh well if you just max out the volume on everything you’re feeling by elevating it all enough you’ll overhear your realest self and everyone who matters will be like oh hell yeah, in recognition of the authenticity of that drama lol....like oh believe me my Real Self has spontaneity and vivacity and passion and elevation, of the kind nt people will like, only ascribe and relate to a context of romance or some shit, like that’s a wednesday maybe b/c of having fun with xyz, couldn’t be me but i guess have fun with when like, people just like don’t have the humor or theatricality (or ability to have exchanges with other people that aren’t competitions / an issued challenge or threat) where it’s like oh someone could only be being fun or playful or energetic if they’re a bit fucked up actually, i.e. drunk surely. like well no that can just be personality & choices, including being what you think is a bit fucked up b/c being nd is surely incorrect & certainly abnormal, which is incorrect, so same difference....but anyways it can be its own choice all the time to actually share all those supposedly properly Elevated [being oneself] properties around anyone else, and even then of course it’s like, results vary with who likes it vs thinks it’s clearly doing too much / nobody doing that could Really be being themself, bring out that normaller you who must exist, or it can maybe be entertaining so long as you just do it on your own and nobody has to figure out how to have an interaction about it b/c [the concept of how to interact w/other ppl on their terms???]
honorary addendum for truly how “performative” might generally be used in some negative context but it’s like, we are all performing every day lol, congrats to the people who again think oh i’m Just being Normal, you just learned that particular performance and don’t have to be conscious about what you might be doing wrong or how to act differently b/c it wasn’t relevant for you to Have to....its being like more genuine than anything to of course be consciously performing in some way / to some degree while other people in turn consciously recognize this, vs when people think they’re being Genuine / Acting Natural but it’s just a particular performance they learned that they can’t even switch out of b/c they don’t know it’s a performance and/or can’t/won’t acknowledge there’s other modes of expression/communication that are no less real, performance has its purposes and it’s not all like well people are just trying to Trick you into thinking that’s how they really are / the only way they can be; how can anyone Really act like that, any affectation should be dropped, can’t believe everyone isn’t Just Being Normal as hard as i am, b/c i get to encounter all these other people who Get Me and/or i sure don’t encounter obstacles / pushback over what seems to be nothing / my just behaving naturally and neutrally, so i must be the expert on the rightest way to be, f for everyone who’s clearly like being too weird or rude or thoughtless and etc
#the difference too between like. using whatever Emotional / Elevated Impulse as handy momentum to do what you already know you'd want to#vs. to just be like well this is for doing what i'd just never even choose / intend to do otherwise....dunno about that one lol#not that anyone has to submit like either Peak Elevation / Passion or else Peak Stoicism / Sobriety as the Truest Way Guiding Light either#but engaging in whatever various modes / approaches across the spectrum of experiences and routes can sure be Conscious either way....#when it comes to taking some approach and/or to just keeping tabs on how it's going along the way / afterwards...#Just Being Yourself as this very like cerebral(tm) conscious deliberate process when as soon as you first ever tried that it's been rejected#so eventually after getting a lot of information and turning it over for eons you probably have to push Against emotional reflexes to like#be more yourself / be more unfiltered/not attuned to what other people might want or tbh accept without more rejection / punishment#and of course just that like. probably your Realer Self just isn't something everyone should get to interact with#b/c it goes right back to the original problem of like that social rejection / punishment having started immediately and not stopped#so that it's difficult to go ''oh maybe i'm nd'' rather than just having it internalized that smthing's wrong w/you / you just suck or smthg#like well it's still gonna continue even as you're in the process of being more conscious of everything going on there / not blaming oneself#like i love to talk actually and i will continue to v rarely talk b/c that's really just a For My Own Sake choice lol
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galacticlamps · 2 years
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gotta say, while I don’t love the fact that I’ve been especially busy & stressed out with work & irl stuff lately, I did pick a good time for it with all this new doctor who news - bc I know I’ve only had the chance to see a tiny fraction of all the reactions to it so far, and frankly I’m already kinda tired of hearing it all - even for the stuff I like/think I’ll like! it’s also great for helping me keep my mouth shut bc I do have a lot of thoughts, but probably none that I’d feel confident expressing clearly without writing a much longer post than i have the time & energy to make
#honestly the only take i can put simply is this:#im so tired of this trend of announcing stuff super early#it was one of my 2 immediate reactions when they announced rtd a few months ago#& it's absolutely my feeling now#i get announcing ncuti bc logically we're expecting to get a little cameo of him within a few months#but the rest?#that's all over a year & a half away as far as anyone can tell!#what on god's green earth would make anyone want to know these things this far out?#and i dont at all mean that from an 'oooh no spoilers' perspective - kinda the exact opposite#in that i find it difficult/pointless to form any strong opinions good bad or neutral without seeing the actual product#so like all the talk that is gonna happen/is already happening based on announcements and not even trailers or little bits of content...#im like what's the point on a good day and can we please stop pretending we know more than we do on a bad day#basically im not looking forward to sitting thru months of debate/discourse/speculation whatever you want to call it#before we even have actual new content to actually react to#(also im worried that if i see one more cryptic little emoji tweet my eyes will roll so far back into my skull they'll get stuck)#(but at least i have the decency to admit that that's a me problem)#(although on a realer level im not actually thrilled about the way those starting with ncuti and now being used for everything#make every new announcement feel like it is/will be/should be of the same level of news/importance as the new doctor)#ugh see even this is closer to Getting Into It than i wanted to do#it's a good thing I don't have much time for this webbed site rn
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hanasnx · 4 months
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brucie and his 19 year old girlfriend who he flaunts around Gotham like it’s no big deal. he takes her everywhere and anywhere there will be press. everyone is so shocked and they don’t even know what to say. especially the kids. dick and jason are (high key) jealous of it… -🍓
PART ONE ✩ PART TWO MINORS DNI 18+
BRUCE WAYNE has been keeping you around to garner attention around himself and off of his dealings as the Batman. You were the perfect candidate given your social influence, your popularity, and it helped you were easy on the eyes. If Bruce Wayne was the center of controversy for dating someone half his age, Batman could keep a lookout on Penguin’s latest caches without distractions like the Cobblepots releasing a statement that Batman is wrongfully investigating a man based on appearance. Prejudice doesn’t make the news, but an age gap does.
You practically float off the floor when Bruce is around, whether it be an arm around your waist; leading you or twirling you like a dance with music he hums; sweeping you off your feet, easily up over his head. It becomes clear why he’s so dangerous, he’s such a charmer. Somehow he has romance dialed in, and you fell for someone so put-together. You love going everywhere with him, and when a fan asks for a picture, he’s the first to hug you from behind and curl his huge body around you, cheek-to-cheek with his chin over your shoulder. He’s so shamelessly touchy. It gets to a point where he likes when you scold him with a pat. Hitting his sturdy bicep when he tugs the neckline of your dress to him for a peek at your tits, and all he does is growl at you playfully, like you’re asking for it later.
To be honest, you are. Yet, Bruce won’t get it to you. He dangles it over your head in public, but alone he makes up some excuse and calls his butler to drive you home.
One time when you’ve been invited to the Manor, it was so you could get ready and drive to a gala with Bruce. Arriving together is a big statement, and you’re excited, but in a much realer sense there’s a tickle of dread in your stomach. Bruce told you to make yourself comfortable and wait for him, he’s terribly sorry that he has to attend to something first and if he’d had it his way a lady wouldn’t wait on a gentleman. You’ve already fantasized this might be it, he’s finally going to ask you. Sitting on this chaise in front of a fire you clench your legs together at the reminder. Perhaps he’s getting ready so he’ll finally sleep with you. Briefly, you imagine what the paparazzi would bark at you if you arrived to the gala with sex hair. It brings a smile to your face.
Just in case, you had outfitted yourself with a tasteful nightgown underneath your clothes, and you decide now is the time to enact it. Shimmying off your garments, you then arrange yourself seductively on the chaise. Bruce’ll be here any minute, and he always acts so insatiable in public. Maybe if you surprise him, he won’t be able to steel himself. Your fingers play with the hem, already short but your ride it up even more, and trace circles onto your bare hip. You’ve felt his hands on your hips when you wore a stringy little bikini for him on his yacht, and those callused hands had pulled you right down on his lap to stick his tongue in your mouth. You can still taste it, closing your eyes to revisualize it. He was so big underneath you—
“… and this is a one time thing, understand? My debt is paid.”
“Don’t worry, birdboy, I won’t tell your old man—“
Voices come into focus, alerting you as the door opens and not one but two people come in. Two people you do not recognize. Without thinking it through, you stand to conceal your seductive pose meant for someone else, and everything else slips your mind.
Two men. Boyish. Both with black hair that’s grown out, and one of them with a white stripe sprouting from the front of his hairline.
“Oh,” DICK GRAYSON says. He’s no stranger to walking in on something he shouldn’t see. “Sorry, didn’t see you there.”
“Nice outfit.” JASON TODD adds, and you can tell he’s making fun of you. Your cheeks grow red hot, and you scramble for something to cover yourself up. A thin throw blanket folded over the back of the chaise is hastily straightened out to cover yourself.
Wary he might cause you grief, Dick points to a bookshelf behind you. “We just have to… get something.” He waits for something, and you realize he wants you to reply. You nod, hoping to just end this as soon as possible.
The blanket covers most, but a lot of your thigh is exposed. You try to turn with them as you they pass you, but Jason cranes his neck to catch a glance of your ass. The undersides of it hang out of your tiny nightgown. An indignant crease in your brow forms, and you make an obvious move to yank the blanket over your ass, turning it away from him. Dick keeps going, Jason hangs behind. “What’re you doing here, missy? You look a little young.” Condescension. The last thing you need right now is a conversation.
“Yeah, are you looking for someone?” Dick asks over his shoulder, more polite than his companion as he searches the spines of books with a finger.
You hesitate to say anything, you don’t know these people. “I’m waiting on someone.” A tremble shivers through you, the back of you cold from being away from the fire, and your nerves didn’t help.
“You’re not a hooker, are you?” Jason’s blunt nature shines through in his question, not that he’s intrigued or judgmental, just curious.
Your first instinct is to be offended he’d say something like that to a lady, frowning at him with a scoff. “What? No! And—!” It dawns on you that you shouldn’t put down sex work, you’re overreacting. So you wiggle your shoulders and stick your nose in the air, prissing up your attitude. “It wouldn’t matter if I was.” you say, quieter this time.
“Sure, it does. I’ve got cash on me.” Jason replies, only to get that cute offended look back on your face.
“Jason, shut up. She doesn’t know you’re trying to get under her skin.” Dick plucks out the book, and flips through it. He joins you and Jason, and you take a wary step back. He doesn’t notice, snapping the book shut and handing it off to Jason. Those blue eyes are back on you again, and you swear you see him give you a quick once-over. “Whoever you’re waiting on is a lucky guy.” he says, and by his tone you’re unsure if it’s a genuine flirt. When he smiles, dimples define, and for a brief second you’re weak in the knees.
A third voice pipes up, deeper than them both. “She’s with me.” Bruce says, walking in as he adjusts his cuff links. “Jason, always a pleasure to find you sneaking around my house.”
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