#But it's so hard because like most of the recipes online have like a million ingredients
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Why is it so expensive to have a fun low cholesterol diet :( like half the recipes u can find online are like, you should eat a lot of [one of the most expensive types of fishes] and [very expensive fruits and veggies] or [vegan alternatives to meat that are also very expensive and also often hard to find] !!!!!!! Helpppppp.....
#I LOVE salmon and tuna and all sorts of nuts and avocadoes and fiber rich fruits and whatnot#But my god its all so so so so expensive I can feel my blood pressure rising every time I try to make a meal plan#Also I just really fucking need a bunch of ideas for depression meals 😭#But it's so hard because like most of the recipes online have like a million ingredients#Like it's not just grab a block of tofu and eat it. But it's like everything is a salad or soup or stew#Where the cooking doesn't take much time but the preparations are so exhausting#Who has the time and money to have all those veggies and fruits and protein at your home always#God I'm getting so depressed just thinking about it all#pogaduchy
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The recipe sold itself as “unique.” Toward the end of March, an anonymous blonde woman appeared on the TikTok page @foodfuns3 and committed a culinary crime. First, she poured an entire box of angel hair pasta into a blender, then she blitzed it into dust, added a couple of eggs, and rolled the resulting dough into new pasta strips. Gamely, she took a bite of the thick, grainy Frakenpasta after cooking it; unconvincingly, she ended the video with the words, “Mmm! It’s like the perfect consistency.”
Despite this onscreen bite, it’s probably safe to assume this pasta dish ended up in the bin.
It’s no longer news that disgusting food videos on TikTok are intentional rage bait, designed to rile up viewers and gain comments, shares, and views for creators. Yet while no one eats the food in these ridiculous recipe videos, they do feed an entire online ecosystem.
Shortly after the blonde woman blended her pasta, The Washington Post tested her recipe on its own social media channels, while the British newspaper Metro made its own video about the “dish.” On TikTok itself, multiple creators responded, superimposing themselves over the video and adding their own commentary. Thanks to the sheer number of hideous recipes that now populate TikTok, a new job has emerged: Recipe Reactor.
Chef Reactions is not the name recorded on Chef Reactions’ birth certificate. Despite the fact that he has more than 3 million TikTok followers, Chef Reactions closely guards his real name and identity because, he says, “I get death threats every single day.” Fiercely protective of his family and a carer for his 88-year-old grandmother, he’s only been recognized three times in public since he exploded on social media a year ago, and he wants to keep it that way. “I’ve worked in kitchens my whole life,” he says. “I didn’t start this with the intention of becoming famous.”
What provokes the death threats? Multiple times a week, Chef Reactions picks an online recipe video and—it’s in the name—reacts to it. He is known for his deadpan delivery, liberal use of swear words, and very evident culinary knowledge. (He really is a chef with almost 20 years’ experience.) The 40-year-old creator reacts to everything from genuinely delicious-looking chocolate sculptures to people cooking inside their toilet bowls.
Some have accused him of bullying, “which I didn’t understand, because most of the videos that I talk about are purposely made for shock value.” (Some recipe videos are also fetish content.) The chef’s angry reactions are unscripted and authentic: “I come from a background of not wasting food, both in my professional life and my personal life. When I was a kid, I was forced to sit at the kitchen table until I finished everything on my plate, so wasting food is a pet peeve of mine.”
Chef Reactions created his TikTok account in May 2022 because, he says, “a dishwasher that worked for me had a video go viral … and it was really stupid, it was maybe the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.” Deciding that if she could do it, he could do it too, the chef created his first video, a silly three-second clip in which he makes eyes at some butt-shaped dough.
The Chef Reactions channel grew quickly. He recently quit his job; brand deals, merchandise sales, and Patreon supporters enable him to recipe-react full time. “I’ve been a chef for so long that it’s hard for me to think of what I do now as work, because I worked so very hard before,” he says. He notes that while he is by no means rich or “set for life,” he could afford a year off to be with his family if he stopped making videos right now. “This has changed my life in ways that I never thought were possible,” he says.
Yet in the year Chef Reactions has been creating his videos, he says the number of rage bait (and fetish) recipes on TikTok has grown. “These accounts are multiplying like gremlins,” he says, “And now people say that I’m partially responsible for that.” Some viewers believe that gross food creators are making videos specifically for the chef to react to, meaning he’s taking the bait and feeding the baiters. While he says it would be “egotistical” for him to believe that videos are made specifically for him, he does acknowledge his part in this strange new ecosystem.
“Without them, I wouldn’t be where I’m at today, so it’s kind of a double-edged sword,” he says. Equally: “I’m not the only person that does food reactions.”
Tanara Mallory is perhaps currently the most famous and quotable recipe reactor on TikTok; her catchphrase “Everybody’s so creative!” now regularly pops up in the comment section of food videos. The 47-year-old, Philadelphia-based production cook is—as Chef Reactions himself puts it —“hilarious”; her faux-enthusiastic response videos have earned her 3.4 million followers.
Unlike Chef Reactions, however, Mallory has found it hard to profit from her fame. She told The Philadelphia Inquirer earlier this month that the money she has earned so far only covers “gas and groceries,” even though the hashtag #everybodysocreative now has 486 million views. It’s a problem as old as social media itself: the ability of any creator to monetize their content often depends on their race. “Mallory’s situation,” journalist Beatrice Forman wrote in her profile of the TikTok star, “is all too common for Black social media creators, who have shaped internet culture for decades.” (Mallory didn’t respond to interview requests for this story.)
Yet while recipe reactions may not always be profitable, they do remain popular. Beyond comedy value, why do people like to watch?
Zoë Glatt, a digital anthropologist and postdoctoral researcher at Microsoft’s Social Media Collective, argues that “���what makes bad recipe videos so perfect for reactions is the ambiguity around whether the original content is made sincerely.” Numerous disturbing recipes have been reported as real trends over the years, and therefore it is undoubtedly satisfying for audiences to hear a straight-talker “reflecting on just how bad these recipes are.”
Glatt says that “reaction videos have always existed as a sort of meta-economy that feeds off of and into the genres of content.” While some reactors do “the bare minimum,” riding the coattails of an original video’s popularity, the best reactions, she says, “offer meaningful or entertaining commentary, reflecting and reifying the feelings that audiences have toward the video and helping to create a sense of community and shared understanding.” Arguably, shared understanding is crucial when you’ve just watched someone blend angel hair and you have to decide if the world’s lost the plot or you have.
It’s unclear how long recipe reactions will continue to be popular. Chef Reactions says, “I think of myself always as on my 14th of 15 minutes of fame.” He is branching out onto YouTube because of rumors of a TikTok ban, and he hopes the world will continue to have an appetite for his content. But being uncertain about the future doesn’t trouble him too much. “If you were to ask me a year ago what my retirement plan was, I would have said, ‘Having a heart attack hovering over an empty deep fryer.’ I didn’t have a retirement plan,” he says. He still doesn’t, but he does now have a flourishing online career. “If it all goes away tomorrow, I can always fall back onto my skill set and continue being a chef.”
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Description
This tutorial explains how to buy Yelp reviews. We cover everything, including dangers.
Money can buy many things, but not a good reputation, not with Yelp watching.
It may seem like a tragedy at first. Wouldn’t it be easier if you could pay for positive Yelp reviews or offer discounts or free goods in exchange for reviews? These postings would bring in new customers who would be so impressed with your service that they’d provide honest feedback.
That’s not how things work, cowboy.
Paying for Yelp reviews may go unnoticed, and the reviews that follow may help your business, but it’s far more likely that this method would harm your image. Why?
We’ll discuss a more effective approach in a moment. Some details first…
Yelp’s Function
Yelp may be the most credible review site, above Facebook or Angie’s List.
Yelp’s reliability contributes to its popularity. The website has more than 224 million reviews and is used by companies worldwide.
Our website focuses on the customer, and the team knows that users won’t trust reviews if they can’t trust the information. Yelp has strict guidelines about phony reviews, including evaluations by company employees and bought recommendations.
Recipe’s Secret
The website uses a complex algorithm to filter out fraudulent, incentivized, or dishonest reviews. Because the website errs on the side of caution, both genuine and fake reviews are filtered out.
It analyzes many data points to determine which reviews are fake. Yelp isn’t very forthcoming with system information, so it’s hard to deceive. Even if you pay people with active Yelp accounts to review your business, Yelp may investigate… This could get you in trouble.
Yelp cases
Assume you’ve decided to buy Yelp reviews. Ideally, they’d be uploaded to your Yelp page and viewed. Unlikely.
Customers won’t be able to view them because they’ll likely be filtered out days after being uploaded. If so, you’ve wasted your money and have nothing to show for your efforts.
If that’s the worst that happens to you, consider yourself lucky…
Because the alternative is worse. Yelp has Consumer Alerts. It reveals a company’s unethical behavior. If your page contains fraudulent reviews and is flagged for action, the website will display a banner warning visitors not to trust you.
The banner will remain in its current location for at least three months, reminding thousands of consumers that you were suspected of buying reviews.
Offering money or other incentives for reviews could get you in trouble with the FTC (FTC). Reward doesn’t justify risk.
Yelp’s Benefits
If you were considering buying Yelp reviews, this is bad news. Not true. This is a reminder of Yelp’s power and why using it responsibly can help your online reputation.
Regular Yelpers know the site only posts reviews written by real customers. They’re more likely to trust any ratings they see on your page.
After that, make sure you get mostly positive reviews.
Correctly obtaining positive opinions
When you have happy customers, you can be moral and still get more Yelp ratings.
But don’t rely solely on Yelp ratings and reviews. It’s an essential review site, but so are Facebook, Google, TripAdvisor, and many others. Your complete online review profile includes all of these sites, and prospective clients read each one. That’s why it’s so important to get reviews on a variety of sites.
Automate the review-gathering process with ReputationStacker. It does this by asking clients a single question to see who had a good experience. Then, it directs your happy customers to the review sites you choose so they can leave a review while the event is still fresh in their minds.
We’ve heard that doing so will not only result in more good testimonials for you than buying them, but will also save you money.
You shouldn’t buy reviews; earn them.
You may be curious about how to buy Yelp reviews, but you probably already know it’s not a good idea for your company’s or your own reputation.
You can use your existing Yelp reviews to your advantage and generate new reviews using a variety of methods.
We’ll discuss many of these ways below.
Thank feedback
If you respond to comments on your Yelp page, even if there’s little criticism, you can show visitors that your top priority is providing a high-quality product (or service) and ensuring customer satisfaction.
You can encourage visitors to leave Yelp reviews by offering incentives. You can create review incentive signs similarly to how you would make clients aware of your page with signs or reminders from yourself or your employees.
Show customers your Yelp profile
Most of your clients probably won’t search for your company on Yelp to post a review. Most consumers won’t even consider writing a review, and many don’t know your business has a Yelp page.
Making your product or service more accessible to customers is a great way to get free reviews.
This can be as simple as asking customers to post a review on Yelp as they leave or encouraging staff to mention Yelp to customers as they leave. Thanks for visiting! Reminding clients to leave reviews on Yelp is helpful.
You can also make signs asking customers to review you on Yelp. Place these signs where customers can see them as they leave, such as at their tables (if you run a restaurant) or the checkout counter.
These deals must entice consumers, not just Yelp 5-star reviewers. They should attract customers. Limiting incentives to customers who gave your company five stars will look dishonest to consumers and may discourage them from leaving reviews.
Instead, use generic, all-purpose language. “Share your experience on Yelp!” We’d love your input. Bring a copy of your review on your next visit and get 10% off any purchase.
Critical reviews
On the other hand, Yelp customer complaints may be helpful. Former clients’ constructive feedback can shed light on your company’s day-to-day operations.
Criticism, though unpleasant, can help you better serve customers and attract new ones. You can answer Yelp reviews. Fix any mistakes you made and make amends with the customer.
This will fix any disagreements between your company and the dissatisfied client and show future customers that you care about their satisfaction.
Customer trust
Trust between businesses and customers is crucial for Yelp reviews. Gaining your clients’ trust is crucial if you want more positive reviews. Can you explain? In addition to telling the truth and avoiding buying Yelp reviews, you should listen to your customers.
Consistency
Be consistent. Customers visit your company expecting certain products or services. Before making changes to your business’s operations or products and services, consider if they will benefit and appeal to your existing customers.
Openness to customer needs and preferences can increase positive Yelp reviews.
Conclusion
Invest in company growth instead of buying Yelp reviews.
Because Yelp’s monitoring methods are so sophisticated, businesses that pay for reviews (with cash or by incentivizing consumers) often find their efforts counterproductive. The website detects and eliminates fake reviews and may publicly disgrace businesses that have purchased reviews.
Paying for reviews will ruin your reputation.
Reputation Stacker is the better option. It surveys your customers and sends satisfied ones to review sites of your choosing, where they can post genuine, positive reviews you’ve earned by doing things right.
0 notes
Text
Description
This tutorial explains how to buy Yelp reviews. We cover everything, including dangers.
Money can buy many things, but not a good reputation, not with Yelp watching.
It may seem like a tragedy at first. Wouldn’t it be easier if you could pay for positive Yelp reviews or offer discounts or free goods in exchange for reviews? These postings would bring in new customers who would be so impressed with your service that they’d provide honest feedback.
That’s not how things work, cowboy.
Paying for Yelp reviews may go unnoticed, and the reviews that follow may help your business, but it’s far more likely that this method would harm your image. Why?
We’ll discuss a more effective approach in a moment. Some details first…
Yelp’s Function
Yelp may be the most credible review site, above Facebook or Angie’s List.
Yelp’s reliability contributes to its popularity. The website has more than 224 million reviews and is used by companies worldwide.
Our website focuses on the customer, and the team knows that users won’t trust reviews if they can’t trust the information. Yelp has strict guidelines about phony reviews, including evaluations by company employees and bought recommendations.
Recipe’s Secret
The website uses a complex algorithm to filter out fraudulent, incentivized, or dishonest reviews. Because the website errs on the side of caution, both genuine and fake reviews are filtered out.
It analyzes many data points to determine which reviews are fake. Yelp isn’t very forthcoming with system information, so it’s hard to deceive. Even if you pay people with active Yelp accounts to review your business, Yelp may investigate… This could get you in trouble.
Yelp cases
Assume you’ve decided to buy Yelp reviews. Ideally, they’d be uploaded to your Yelp page and viewed. Unlikely.
Customers won’t be able to view them because they’ll likely be filtered out days after being uploaded. If so, you’ve wasted your money and have nothing to show for your efforts.
If that’s the worst that happens to you, consider yourself lucky…
Because the alternative is worse. Yelp has Consumer Alerts. It reveals a company’s unethical behavior. If your page contains fraudulent reviews and is flagged for action, the website will display a banner warning visitors not to trust you.
The banner will remain in its current location for at least three months, reminding thousands of consumers that you were suspected of buying reviews.
Offering money or other incentives for reviews could get you in trouble with the FTC (FTC). Reward doesn’t justify risk.
Yelp’s Benefits
If you were considering buying Yelp reviews, this is bad news. Not true. This is a reminder of Yelp’s power and why using it responsibly can help your online reputation.
Regular Yelpers know the site only posts reviews written by real customers. They’re more likely to trust any ratings they see on your page.
After that, make sure you get mostly positive reviews.
Correctly obtaining positive opinions
When you have happy customers, you can be moral and still get more Yelp ratings.
But don’t rely solely on Yelp ratings and reviews. It’s an essential review site, but so are Facebook, Google, TripAdvisor, and many others. Your complete online review profile includes all of these sites, and prospective clients read each one. That’s why it’s so important to get reviews on a variety of sites.
Automate the review-gathering process with ReputationStacker. It does this by asking clients a single question to see who had a good experience. Then, it directs your happy customers to the review sites you choose so they can leave a review while the event is still fresh in their minds.
We’ve heard that doing so will not only result in more good testimonials for you than buying them, but will also save you money.
You shouldn’t buy reviews; earn them.
You may be curious about how to buy Yelp reviews, but you probably already know it’s not a good idea for your company’s or your own reputation.
You can use your existing Yelp reviews to your advantage and generate new reviews using a variety of methods.
We’ll discuss many of these ways below.
Thank feedback
If you respond to comments on your Yelp page, even if there’s little criticism, you can show visitors that your top priority is providing a high-quality product (or service) and ensuring customer satisfaction.
You can encourage visitors to leave Yelp reviews by offering incentives. You can create review incentive signs similarly to how you would make clients aware of your page with signs or reminders from yourself or your employees.
Show customers your Yelp profile
Most of your clients probably won’t search for your company on Yelp to post a review. Most consumers won’t even consider writing a review, and many don’t know your business has a Yelp page.
Making your product or service more accessible to customers is a great way to get free reviews.
This can be as simple as asking customers to post a review on Yelp as they leave or encouraging staff to mention Yelp to customers as they leave. Thanks for visiting! Reminding clients to leave reviews on Yelp is helpful.
You can also make signs asking customers to review you on Yelp. Place these signs where customers can see them as they leave, such as at their tables (if you run a restaurant) or the checkout counter.
These deals must entice consumers, not just Yelp 5-star reviewers. They should attract customers. Limiting incentives to customers who gave your company five stars will look dishonest to consumers and may discourage them from leaving reviews.
Instead, use generic, all-purpose language. “Share your experience on Yelp!” We’d love your input. Bring a copy of your review on your next visit and get 10% off any purchase.
Critical reviews
On the other hand, Yelp customer complaints may be helpful. Former clients’ constructive feedback can shed light on your company’s day-to-day operations.
Criticism, though unpleasant, can help you better serve customers and attract new ones. You can answer Yelp reviews. Fix any mistakes you made and make amends with the customer.
This will fix any disagreements between your company and the dissatisfied client and show future customers that you care about their satisfaction.
Customer trust
Trust between businesses and customers is crucial for Yelp reviews. Gaining your clients’ trust is crucial if you want more positive reviews. Can you explain? In addition to telling the truth and avoiding buying Yelp reviews, you should listen to your customers.
Consistency
Be consistent. Customers visit your company expecting certain products or services. Before making changes to your business’s operations or products and services, consider if they will benefit and appeal to your existing customers.
Openness to customer needs and preferences can increase positive Yelp reviews.
Conclusion
Invest in company growth instead of buying Yelp reviews.
Because Yelp’s monitoring methods are so sophisticated, businesses that pay for reviews (with cash or by incentivizing consumers) often find their efforts counterproductive. The website detects and eliminates fake reviews and may publicly disgrace businesses that have purchased reviews.
Paying for reviews will ruin your reputation.
Reputation Stacker is the better option. It surveys your customers and sends satisfied ones to review sites of your choosing, where they can post genuine, positive reviews you’ve earned by doing things right.
0 notes
Text
escription
This tutorial explains how to buy Yelp reviews. We cover everything, including dangers.
Money can buy many things, but not a good reputation, not with Yelp watching.
It may seem like a tragedy at first. Wouldn’t it be easier if you could pay for positive Yelp reviews or offer discounts or free goods in exchange for reviews? These postings would bring in new customers who would be so impressed with your service that they’d provide honest feedback.
That’s not how things work, cowboy.
Paying for Yelp reviews may go unnoticed, and the reviews that follow may help your business, but it’s far more likely that this method would harm your image. Why?
We’ll discuss a more effective approach in a moment. Some details first…
Yelp’s Function
Yelp may be the most credible review site, above Facebook or Angie’s List.
Yelp’s reliability contributes to its popularity. The website has more than 224 million reviews and is used by companies worldwide.
Our website focuses on the customer, and the team knows that users won’t trust reviews if they can’t trust the information. Yelp has strict guidelines about phony reviews, including evaluations by company employees and bought recommendations.
Recipe’s Secret
The website uses a complex algorithm to filter out fraudulent, incentivized, or dishonest reviews. Because the website errs on the side of caution, both genuine and fake reviews are filtered out.
It analyzes many data points to determine which reviews are fake. Yelp isn’t very forthcoming with system information, so it’s hard to deceive. Even if you pay people with active Yelp accounts to review your business, Yelp may investigate… This could get you in trouble.
Yelp cases
Assume you’ve decided to buy Yelp reviews. Ideally, they’d be uploaded to your Yelp page and viewed. Unlikely.
Customers won’t be able to view them because they’ll likely be filtered out days after being uploaded. If so, you’ve wasted your money and have nothing to show for your efforts.
If that’s the worst that happens to you, consider yourself lucky…
Because the alternative is worse. Yelp has Consumer Alerts. It reveals a company’s unethical behavior. If your page contains fraudulent reviews and is flagged for action, the website will display a banner warning visitors not to trust you.
The banner will remain in its current location for at least three months, reminding thousands of consumers that you were suspected of buying reviews.
Offering money or other incentives for reviews could get you in trouble with the FTC (FTC). Reward doesn’t justify risk.
Yelp’s Benefits
If you were considering buying Yelp reviews, this is bad news. Not true. This is a reminder of Yelp’s power and why using it responsibly can help your online reputation.
Regular Yelpers know the site only posts reviews written by real customers. They’re more likely to trust any ratings they see on your page.
After that, make sure you get mostly positive reviews.
Correctly obtaining positive opinions
When you have happy customers, you can be moral and still get more Yelp ratings.
But don’t rely solely on Yelp ratings and reviews. It’s an essential review site, but so are Facebook, Google, TripAdvisor, and many others. Your complete online review profile includes all of these sites, and prospective clients read each one. That’s why it’s so important to get reviews on a variety of sites.
Automate the review-gathering process with ReputationStacker. It does this by asking clients a single question to see who had a good experience. Then, it directs your happy customers to the review sites you choose so they can leave a review while the event is still fresh in their minds.
We’ve heard that doing so will not only result in more good testimonials for you than buying them, but will also save you money.
You shouldn’t buy reviews; earn them.
You may be curious about how to buy Yelp reviews, but you probably already know it’s not a good idea for your company’s or your own reputation.
You can use your existing Yelp reviews to your advantage and generate new reviews using a variety of methods.
We’ll discuss many of these ways below.
Thank feedback
If you respond to comments on your Yelp page, even if there’s little criticism, you can show visitors that your top priority is providing a high-quality product (or service) and ensuring customer satisfaction.
You can encourage visitors to leave Yelp reviews by offering incentives. You can create review incentive signs similarly to how you would make clients aware of your page with signs or reminders from yourself or your employees.
Show customers your Yelp profile
Most of your clients probably won’t search for your company on Yelp to post a review. Most consumers won’t even consider writing a review, and many don’t know your business has a Yelp page.
Making your product or service more accessible to customers is a great way to get free reviews.
This can be as simple as asking customers to post a review on Yelp as they leave or encouraging staff to mention Yelp to customers as they leave. Thanks for visiting! Reminding clients to leave reviews on Yelp is helpful.
You can also make signs asking customers to review you on Yelp. Place these signs where customers can see them as they leave, such as at their tables (if you run a restaurant) or the checkout counter.
These deals must entice consumers, not just Yelp 5-star reviewers. They should attract customers. Limiting incentives to customers who gave your company five stars will look dishonest to consumers and may discourage them from leaving reviews.
Instead, use generic, all-purpose language. “Share your experience on Yelp!” We’d love your input. Bring a copy of your review on your next visit and get 10% off any purchase.
Critical reviews
On the other hand, Yelp customer complaints may be helpful. Former clients’ constructive feedback can shed light on your company’s day-to-day operations.
Criticism, though unpleasant, can help you better serve customers and attract new ones. You can answer Yelp reviews. Fix any mistakes you made and make amends with the customer.
This will fix any disagreements between your company and the dissatisfied client and show future customers that you care about their satisfaction.
Customer trust
Trust between businesses and customers is crucial for Yelp reviews. Gaining your clients’ trust is crucial if you want more positive reviews. Can you explain? In addition to telling the truth and avoiding buying Yelp reviews, you should listen to your customers.
Consistency
Be consistent. Customers visit your company expecting certain products or services. Before making changes to your business’s operations or products and services, consider if they will benefit and appeal to your existing customers.
Openness to customer needs and preferences can increase positive Yelp reviews.
Conclusion
Invest in company growth instead of buying Yelp reviews.
Because Yelp’s monitoring methods are so sophisticated, businesses that pay for reviews (with cash or by incentivizing consumers) often find their efforts counterproductive. The website detects and eliminates fake reviews and may publicly disgrace businesses that have purchased reviews.
Paying for reviews will ruin your reputation.
Reputation Stacker is the better option. It surveys your customers an
0 notes
Text
This tutorial explains how to buy Yelp reviews. We cover everything, including dangers.
Money can buy many things, but not a good reputation, not with Yelp watching.
It may seem like a tragedy at first. Wouldn’t it be easier if you could pay for positive Yelp reviews or offer discounts or free goods in exchange for reviews? These postings would bring in new customers who would be so impressed with your service that they’d provide honest feedback.
That’s not how things work, cowboy.
Paying for Yelp reviews may go unnoticed, and the reviews that follow may help your business, but it’s far more likely that this method would harm your image. Why?
We’ll discuss a more effective approach in a moment. Some details first…
Yelp’s Function
Yelp may be the most credible review site, above Facebook or Angie’s List.
Yelp’s reliability contributes to its popularity. The website has more than 224 million reviews and is used by companies worldwide.
Our website focuses on the customer, and the team knows that users won’t trust reviews if they can’t trust the information. Yelp has strict guidelines about phony reviews, including evaluations by company employees and bought recommendations.
Recipe’s Secret
The website uses a complex algorithm to filter out fraudulent, incentivized, or dishonest reviews. Because the website errs on the side of caution, both genuine and fake reviews are filtered out.
It analyzes many data points to determine which reviews are fake. Yelp isn’t very forthcoming with system information, so it’s hard to deceive. Even if you pay people with active Yelp accounts to review your business, Yelp may investigate… This could get you in trouble.
Yelp cases
Assume you’ve decided to buy Yelp reviews. Ideally, they’d be uploaded to your Yelp page and viewed. Unlikely.
Customers won’t be able to view them because they’ll likely be filtered out days after being uploaded. If so, you’ve wasted your money and have nothing to show for your efforts.
If that’s the worst that happens to you, consider yourself lucky…
Because the alternative is worse. Yelp has Consumer Alerts. It reveals a company’s unethical behavior. If your page contains fraudulent reviews and is flagged for action, the website will display a banner warning visitors not to trust you.
The banner will remain in its current location for at least three months, reminding thousands of consumers that you were suspected of buying reviews.
Offering money or other incentives for reviews could get you in trouble with the FTC (FTC). Reward doesn’t justify risk.
Yelp’s Benefits
If you were considering buying Yelp reviews, this is bad news. Not true. This is a reminder of Yelp’s power and why using it responsibly can help your online reputation.
Regular Yelpers know the site only posts reviews written by real customers. They’re more likely to trust any ratings they see on your page.
After that, make sure you get mostly positive reviews.
Correctly obtaining positive opinions
When you have happy customers, you can be moral and still get more Yelp ratings.
But don’t rely solely on Yelp ratings and reviews. It’s an essential review site, but so are Facebook, Google, TripAdvisor, and many others. Your complete online review profile includes all of these sites, and prospective clients read each one. That’s why it’s so important to get reviews on a variety of sites.
Automate the review-gathering process with ReputationStacker. It does this by asking clients a single question to see who had a good experience. Then, it directs your happy customers to the review sites you choose so they can leave a review while the event is still fresh in their minds.
We’ve heard that doing so will not only result in more good testimonials for you than buying them, but will also save you money.
You shouldn’t buy reviews; earn them.
You may be curious about how to buy Yelp reviews, but you probably already know it’s not a good idea for your company’s or your own reputation.
You can use your existing Yelp reviews to your advantage and generate new reviews using a variety of methods.
We’ll discuss many of these ways below.
Thank feedback
If you respond to comments on your Yelp page, even if there’s little criticism, you can show visitors that your top priority is providing a high-quality product (or service) and ensuring customer satisfaction.
You can encourage visitors to leave Yelp reviews by offering incentives. You can create review incentive signs similarly to how you would make clients aware of your page with signs or reminders from yourself or your employees.
Show customers your Yelp profile
Most of your clients probably won’t search for your company on Yelp to post a review. Most consumers won’t even consider writing a review, and many don’t know your business has a Yelp page.
Making your product or service more accessible to customers is a great way to get free reviews.
This can be as simple as asking customers to post a review on Yelp as they leave or encouraging staff to mention Yelp to customers as they leave. Thanks for visiting! Reminding clients to leave reviews on Yelp is helpful.
You can also make signs asking customers to review you on Yelp. Place these signs where customers can see them as they leave, such as at their tables (if you run a restaurant) or the checkout counter.
These deals must entice consumers, not just Yelp 5-star reviewers. They should attract customers. Limiting incentives to customers who gave your company five stars will look dishonest to consumers and may discourage them from leaving reviews.
Instead, use generic, all-purpose language. “Share your experience on Yelp!” We’d love your input. Bring a copy of your review on your next visit and get 10% off any purchase.
Critical reviews
On the other hand, Yelp customer complaints may be helpful. Former clients’ constructive feedback can shed light on your company’s day-to-day operations.
Criticism, though unpleasant, can help you better serve customers and attract new ones. You can answer Yelp reviews. Fix any mistakes you made and make amends with the customer.
This will fix any disagreements between your company and the dissatisfied client and show future customers that you care about their satisfaction.
Customer trust
Trust between businesses and customers is crucial for Yelp reviews. Gaining your clients’ trust is crucial if you want more positive reviews. Can you explain? In addition to telling the truth and avoiding buying Yelp reviews, you should listen to your customers.
Consistency
Be consistent. Customers visit your company expecting certain products or services. Before making changes to your business’s operations or products and services, consider if they will benefit and appeal to your existing customers.
Openness to customer needs and preferences can increase positive Yelp reviews.
Conclusion
Invest in company growth instead of buying Yelp reviews.
Because Yelp’s monitoring methods are so sophisticated, businesses that pay for reviews (with cash or by incentivizing consumers) often find their efforts counterproductive. The website detects and eliminates fake reviews and may publicly disgrace businesses that have purchased reviews.
Paying for reviews will ruin your reputation.
Reputation Stacker is the better option. It surveys your customers and sends satisfied ones to review sites of your choosing, where they can post genuine, positive reviews you’ve earned by doing things right.
0 notes
Text
This tutorial explains how to buy Yelp reviews. We cover everything, including dangers.
Money can buy many things, but not a good reputation, not with Yelp watching.
It may seem like a tragedy at first. Wouldn’t it be easier if you could pay for positive Yelp reviews or offer discounts or free goods in exchange for reviews? These postings would bring in new customers who would be so impressed with your service that they’d provide honest feedback.
That’s not how things work, cowboy.
Paying for Yelp reviews may go unnoticed, and the reviews that follow may help your business, but it’s far more likely that this method would harm your image. Why?
We’ll discuss a more effective approach in a moment. Some details first…
Yelp’s Function
Yelp may be the most credible review site, above Facebook or Angie’s List.
Yelp’s reliability contributes to its popularity. The website has more than 224 million reviews and is used by companies worldwide.
Our website focuses on the customer, and the team knows that users won’t trust reviews if they can’t trust the information. Yelp has strict guidelines about phony reviews, including evaluations by company employees and bought recommendations.
Recipe’s Secret
The website uses a complex algorithm to filter out fraudulent, incentivized, or dishonest reviews. Because the website errs on the side of caution, both genuine and fake reviews are filtered out.
It analyzes many data points to determine which reviews are fake. Yelp isn’t very forthcoming with system information, so it’s hard to deceive. Even if you pay people with active Yelp accounts to review your business, Yelp may investigate… This could get you in trouble.
Yelp cases
Assume you’ve decided to buy Yelp reviews. Ideally, they’d be uploaded to your Yelp page and viewed. Unlikely.
Customers won’t be able to view them because they’ll likely be filtered out days after being uploaded. If so, you’ve wasted your money and have nothing to show for your efforts.
If that’s the worst that happens to you, consider yourself lucky…
Because the alternative is worse. Yelp has Consumer Alerts. It reveals a company’s unethical behavior. If your page contains fraudulent reviews and is flagged for action, the website will display a banner warning visitors not to trust you.
The banner will remain in its current location for at least three months, reminding thousands of consumers that you were suspected of buying reviews.
Offering money or other incentives for reviews could get you in trouble with the FTC (FTC). Reward doesn’t justify risk.
Yelp’s Benefits
If you were considering buying Yelp reviews, this is bad news. Not true. This is a reminder of Yelp’s power and why using it responsibly can help your online reputation.
Regular Yelpers know the site only posts reviews written by real customers. They’re more likely to trust any ratings they see on your page.
After that, make sure you get mostly positive reviews.
Correctly obtaining positive opinions
When you have happy customers, you can be moral and still get more Yelp ratings.
But don’t rely solely on Yelp ratings and reviews. It’s an essential review site, but so are Facebook, Google, TripAdvisor, and many others. Your complete online review profile includes all of these sites, and prospective clients read each one. That’s why it’s so important to get reviews on a variety of sites.
Automate the review-gathering process with ReputationStacker. It does this by asking clients a single question to see who had a good experience. Then, it directs your happy customers to the review sites you choose so they can leave a review while the event is still fresh in their minds.
We’ve heard that doing so will not only result in more good testimonials for you than buying them, but will also save you money.
You shouldn’t buy reviews; earn them.
You may be curious about how to buy Yelp reviews, but you probably already know it’s not a good idea for your company’s or your own reputation.
You can use your existing Yelp reviews to your advantage and generate new reviews using a variety of methods.
We’ll discuss many of these ways below.
Thank feedback
If you respond to comments on your Yelp page, even if there’s little criticism, you can show visitors that your top priority is providing a high-quality product (or service) and ensuring customer satisfaction.
You can encourage visitors to leave Yelp reviews by offering incentives. You can create review incentive signs similarly to how you would make clients aware of your page with signs or reminders from yourself or your employees.
Show customers your Yelp profile
Most of your clients probably won’t search for your company on Yelp to post a review. Most consumers won’t even consider writing a review, and many don’t know your business has a Yelp page.
Making your product or service more accessible to customers is a great way to get free reviews.
This can be as simple as asking customers to post a review on Yelp as they leave or encouraging staff to mention Yelp to customers as they leave. Thanks for visiting! Reminding clients to leave reviews on Yelp is helpful.
You can also make signs asking customers to review you on Yelp. Place these signs where customers can see them as they leave, such as at their tables (if you run a restaurant) or the checkout counter.
These deals must entice consumers, not just Yelp 5-star reviewers. They should attract customers. Limiting incentives to customers who gave your company five stars will look dishonest to consumers and may discourage them from leaving reviews.
Instead, use generic, all-purpose language. “Share your experience on Yelp!” We’d love your input. Bring a copy of your review on your next visit and get 10% off any purchase.
Critical reviews
On the other hand, Yelp customer complaints may be helpful. Former clients’ constructive feedback can shed light on your company’s day-to-day operations.
Criticism, though unpleasant, can help you better serve customers and attract new ones. You can answer Yelp reviews. Fix any mistakes you made and make amends with the customer.
This will fix any disagreements between your company and the dissatisfied client and show future customers that you care about their satisfaction.
Customer trust
Trust between businesses and customers is crucial for Yelp reviews. Gaining your clients’ trust is crucial if you want more positive reviews. Can you explain? In addition to telling the truth and avoiding buying Yelp reviews, you should listen to your customers.
Consistency
Be consistent. Customers visit your company expecting certain products or services. Before making changes to your business’s operations or products and services, consider if they will benefit and appeal to your existing customers.
Openness to customer needs and preferences can increase positive Yelp reviews.
Conclusion
Invest in company growth instead of buying Yelp reviews.
Because Yelp’s monitoring methods are so sophisticated, businesses that pay for reviews (with cash or by incentivizing consumers) often find their efforts counterproductive. The website detects and eliminates fake reviews and may publicly disgrace businesses that have purchased reviews.
Paying for reviews will ruin your reputation.
Reputation Stacker is the better option. It surveys your customers and sends satisfied ones to review sites of your choosing, where they can post genuine, positive reviews you’ve earned by doing things right.
0 notes
Text
This tutorial explains how to buy Yelp reviews. We cover everything, including dangers.
Money can buy many things, but not a good reputation, not with Yelp watching.
It may seem like a tragedy at first. Wouldn’t it be easier if you could pay for positive Yelp reviews or offer discounts or free goods in exchange for reviews? These postings would bring in new customers who would be so impressed with your service that they’d provide honest feedback.
That’s not how things work, cowboy.
Paying for Yelp reviews may go unnoticed, and the reviews that follow may help your business, but it’s far more likely that this method would harm your image. Why?
We’ll discuss a more effective approach in a moment. Some details first…
Yelp’s Function
Yelp may be the most credible review site, above Facebook or Angie’s List.
Yelp’s reliability contributes to its popularity. The website has more than 224 million reviews and is used by companies worldwide.
Our website focuses on the customer, and the team knows that users won’t trust reviews if they can’t trust the information. Yelp has strict guidelines about phony reviews, including evaluations by company employees and bought recommendations.
Recipe’s Secret
The website uses a complex algorithm to filter out fraudulent, incentivized, or dishonest reviews. Because the website errs on the side of caution, both genuine and fake reviews are filtered out.
It analyzes many data points to determine which reviews are fake. Yelp isn’t very forthcoming with system information, so it’s hard to deceive. Even if you pay people with active Yelp accounts to review your business, Yelp may investigate… This could get you in trouble.
Yelp cases
Assume you’ve decided to buy Yelp reviews. Ideally, they’d be uploaded to your Yelp page and viewed. Unlikely.
Customers won’t be able to view them because they’ll likely be filtered out days after being uploaded. If so, you’ve wasted your money and have nothing to show for your efforts.
If that’s the worst that happens to you, consider yourself lucky…
Because the alternative is worse. Yelp has Consumer Alerts. It reveals a company’s unethical behavior. If your page contains fraudulent reviews and is flagged for action, the website will display a banner warning visitors not to trust you.
The banner will remain in its current location for at least three months, reminding thousands of consumers that you were suspected of buying reviews.
Offering money or other incentives for reviews could get you in trouble with the FTC (FTC). Reward doesn’t justify risk.
Yelp’s Benefits
If you were considering buying Yelp reviews, this is bad news. Not true. This is a reminder of Yelp’s power and why using it responsibly can help your online reputation.
Regular Yelpers know the site only posts reviews written by real customers. They’re more likely to trust any ratings they see on your page.
After that, make sure you get mostly positive reviews.
Correctly obtaining positive opinions
When you have happy customers, you can be moral and still get more Yelp ratings.
But don’t rely solely on Yelp ratings and reviews. It’s an essential review site, but so are Facebook, Google, TripAdvisor, and many others. Your complete online review profile includes all of these sites, and prospective clients read each one. That’s why it’s so important to get reviews on a variety of sites.
Automate the review-gathering process with ReputationStacker. It does this by asking clients a single question to see who had a good experience. Then, it directs your happy customers to the review sites you choose so they can leave a review while the event is still fresh in their minds.
We’ve heard that doing so will not only result in more good testimonials for you than buying them, but will also save you money.
You shouldn’t buy reviews; earn them.
You may be curious about how to buy Yelp reviews, but you probably already know it’s not a good idea for your company’s or your own reputation.
You can use your existing Yelp reviews to your advantage and generate new reviews using a variety of methods.
We’ll discuss many of these ways below.
Thank feedback
If you respond to comments on your Yelp page, even if there’s little criticism, you can show visitors that your top priority is providing a high-quality product (or service) and ensuring customer satisfaction.
You can encourage visitors to leave Yelp reviews by offering incentives. You can create review incentive signs similarly to how you would make clients aware of your page with signs or reminders from yourself or your employees.
Show customers your Yelp profile
Most of your clients probably won’t search for your company on Yelp to post a review. Most consumers won’t even consider writing a review, and many don’t know your business has a Yelp page.
Making your product or service more accessible to customers is a great way to get free reviews.
This can be as simple as asking customers to post a review on Yelp as they leave or encouraging staff to mention Yelp to customers as they leave. Thanks for visiting! Reminding clients to leave reviews on Yelp is helpful.
You can also make signs asking customers to review you on Yelp. Place these signs where customers can see them as they leave, such as at their tables (if you run a restaurant) or the checkout counter.
These deals must entice consumers, not just Yelp 5-star reviewers. They should attract customers. Limiting incentives to customers who gave your company five stars will look dishonest to consumers and may discourage them from leaving reviews.
Instead, use generic, all-purpose language. “Share your experience on Yelp!” We’d love your input. Bring a copy of your review on your next visit and get 10% off any purchase.
Critical reviews
On the other hand, Yelp customer complaints may be helpful. Former clients’ constructive feedback can shed light on your company’s day-to-day operations.
Criticism, though unpleasant, can help you better serve customers and attract new ones. You can answer Yelp reviews. Fix any mistakes you made and make amends with the customer.
This will fix any disagreements between your company and the dissatisfied client and show future customers that you care about their satisfaction.
Customer trust
Trust between businesses and customers is crucial for Yelp reviews. Gaining your clients’ trust is crucial if you want more positive reviews. Can you explain? In addition to telling the truth and avoiding buying Yelp reviews, you should listen to your customers.
Consistency
Be consistent. Customers visit your company expecting certain products or services. Before making changes to your business’s operations or products and services, consider if they will benefit and appeal to your existing customers.
Openness to customer needs and preferences can increase positive Yelp reviews.
Conclusion
Invest in company growth instead of buying Yelp reviews.
Because Yelp’s monitoring methods are so sophisticated, businesses that pay for reviews (with cash or by incentivizing consumers) often find their efforts counterproductive. The website detects and eliminates fake reviews and may publicly disgrace businesses that have purchased reviews.
Paying for reviews will ruin your reputation.
Reputation Stacker is the better option. It surveys your customers and sends satisfied ones to review sites of your choosing, where they can post genuine, positive reviews you’ve earned by doing things right.
0 notes
Text
Description
This tutorial explains how to buy Yelp reviews. We cover everything, including dangers.
Money can buy many things, but not a good reputation, not with Yelp watching.
It may seem like a tragedy at first. Wouldn’t it be easier if you could pay for positive Yelp reviews or offer discounts or free goods in exchange for reviews? These postings would bring in new customers who would be so impressed with your service that they’d provide honest feedback.
That’s not how things work, cowboy.
Paying for Yelp reviews may go unnoticed, and the reviews that follow may help your business, but it’s far more likely that this method would harm your image. Why?
We’ll discuss a more effective approach in a moment. Some details first…
Yelp’s Function
Yelp may be the most credible review site, above Facebook or Angie’s List.
Yelp’s reliability contributes to its popularity. The website has more than 224 million reviews and is used by companies worldwide.
Our website focuses on the customer, and the team knows that users won’t trust reviews if they can’t trust the information. Yelp has strict guidelines about phony reviews, including evaluations by company employees and bought recommendations.
Recipe’s Secret
The website uses a complex algorithm to filter out fraudulent, incentivized, or dishonest reviews. Because the website errs on the side of caution, both genuine and fake reviews are filtered out.
It analyzes many data points to determine which reviews are fake. Yelp isn’t very forthcoming with system information, so it’s hard to deceive. Even if you pay people with active Yelp accounts to review your business, Yelp may investigate… This could get you in trouble.
Yelp cases
Assume you’ve decided to buy Yelp reviews. Ideally, they’d be uploaded to your Yelp page and viewed. Unlikely.
Customers won’t be able to view them because they’ll likely be filtered out days after being uploaded. If so, you’ve wasted your money and have nothing to show for your efforts.
If that’s the worst that happens to you, consider yourself lucky…
Because the alternative is worse. Yelp has Consumer Alerts. It reveals a company’s unethical behavior. If your page contains fraudulent reviews and is flagged for action, the website will display a banner warning visitors not to trust you.
The banner will remain in its current location for at least three months, reminding thousands of consumers that you were suspected of buying reviews.
Offering money or other incentives for reviews could get you in trouble with the FTC (FTC). Reward doesn’t justify risk.
Yelp’s Benefits
If you were considering buying Yelp reviews, this is bad news. Not true. This is a reminder of Yelp’s power and why using it responsibly can help your online reputation.
Regular Yelpers know the site only posts reviews written by real customers. They’re more likely to trust any ratings they see on your page.
After that, make sure you get mostly positive reviews.
Correctly obtaining positive opinions
When you have happy customers, you can be moral and still get more Yelp ratings.
But don’t rely solely on Yelp ratings and reviews. It’s an essential review site, but so are Facebook, Google, TripAdvisor, and many others. Your complete online review profile includes all of these sites, and prospective clients read each one. That’s why it’s so important to get reviews on a variety of sites.
Automate the review-gathering process with ReputationStacker. It does this by asking clients a single question to see who had a good experience. Then, it directs your happy customers to the review sites you choose so they can leave a review while the event is still fresh in their minds.
We’ve heard that doing so will not only result in more good testimonials for you than buying them, but will also save you money.
You shouldn’t buy reviews; earn them.
You may be curious about how to buy Yelp reviews, but you probably already know it’s not a good idea for your company’s or your own reputation.
You can use your existing Yelp reviews to your advantage and generate new reviews using a variety of methods.
We’ll discuss many of these ways below.
Thank feedback
If you respond to comments on your Yelp page, even if there’s little criticism, you can show visitors that your top priority is providing a high-quality product (or service) and ensuring customer satisfaction.
You can encourage visitors to leave Yelp reviews by offering incentives. You can create review incentive signs similarly to how you would make clients aware of your page with signs or reminders from yourself or your employees.
Show customers your Yelp profile
Most of your clients probably won’t search for your company on Yelp to post a review. Most consumers won’t even consider writing a review, and many don’t know your business has a Yelp page.
Making your product or service more accessible to customers is a great way to get free reviews.
This can be as simple as asking customers to post a review on Yelp as they leave or encouraging staff to mention Yelp to customers as they leave. Thanks for visiting! Reminding clients to leave reviews on Yelp is helpful.
You can also make signs asking customers to review you on Yelp. Place these signs where customers can see them as they leave, such as at their tables (if you run a restaurant) or the checkout counter.
These deals must entice consumers, not just Yelp 5-star reviewers. They should attract customers. Limiting incentives to customers who gave your company five stars will look dishonest to consumers and may discourage them from leaving reviews.
Instead, use generic, all-purpose language. “Share your experience on Yelp!” We’d love your input. Bring a copy of your review on your next visit and get 10% off any purchase.
Critical reviews
On the other hand, Yelp customer complaints may be helpful. Former clients’ constructive feedback can shed light on your company’s day-to-day operations.
Criticism, though unpleasant, can help you better serve customers and attract new ones. You can answer Yelp reviews. Fix any mistakes you made and make amends with the customer.
This will fix any disagreements between your company and the dissatisfied client and show future customers that you care about their satisfaction.
Customer trust
Trust between businesses and customers is crucial for Yelp reviews. Gaining your clients’ trust is crucial if you want more positive reviews. Can you explain? In addition to telling the truth and avoiding buying Yelp reviews, you should listen to your customers.
Consistency
Be consistent. Customers visit your company expecting certain products or services. Before making changes to your business’s operations or products and services, consider if they will benefit and appeal to your existing customers.
Openness to customer needs and preferences can increase positive Yelp reviews.
Conclusion
Invest in company growth instead of buying Yelp reviews.
Because Yelp’s monitoring methods are so sophisticated, businesses that pay for reviews (with cash or by incentivizing consumers) often find their efforts counterproductive. The website detects and eliminates fake reviews and may publicly disgrace businesses that have purchased reviews.
Paying for reviews will ruin your reputation.
Reputation Stacker is the better option. It surveys your customers and sends satisfied ones to review sites of your choosing, where they can post genuine, positive reviews you’ve earned by doing things right.
0 notes
Text
Description
This tutorial explains how to buy Yelp reviews. We cover everything, including dangers.
Money can buy many things, but not a good reputation, not with Yelp watching.
It may seem like a tragedy at first. Wouldn’t it be easier if you could pay for positive Yelp reviews or offer discounts or free goods in exchange for reviews? These postings would bring in new customers who would be so impressed with your service that they’d provide honest feedback.
That’s not how things work, cowboy.
Paying for Yelp reviews may go unnoticed, and the reviews that follow may help your business, but it’s far more likely that this method would harm your image. Why?
We’ll discuss a more effective approach in a moment. Some details first…
Yelp’s Function
Yelp may be the most credible review site, above Facebook or Angie’s List.
Yelp’s reliability contributes to its popularity. The website has more than 224 million reviews and is used by companies worldwide.
Our website focuses on the customer, and the team knows that users won’t trust reviews if they can’t trust the information. Yelp has strict guidelines about phony reviews, including evaluations by company employees and bought recommendations.
Recipe’s Secret
The website uses a complex algorithm to filter out fraudulent, incentivized, or dishonest reviews. Because the website errs on the side of caution, both genuine and fake reviews are filtered out.
It analyzes many data points to determine which reviews are fake. Yelp isn’t very forthcoming with system information, so it’s hard to deceive. Even if you pay people with active Yelp accounts to review your business, Yelp may investigate… This could get you in trouble.
Yelp cases
Assume you’ve decided to buy Yelp reviews. Ideally, they’d be uploaded to your Yelp page and viewed. Unlikely.
Customers won’t be able to view them because they’ll likely be filtered out days after being uploaded. If so, you’ve wasted your money and have nothing to show for your efforts.
If that’s the worst that happens to you, consider yourself lucky…
Because the alternative is worse. Yelp has Consumer Alerts. It reveals a company’s unethical behavior. If your page contains fraudulent reviews and is flagged for action, the website will display a banner warning visitors not to trust you.
The banner will remain in its current location for at least three months, reminding thousands of consumers that you were suspected of buying reviews.
Offering money or other incentives for reviews could get you in trouble with the FTC (FTC). Reward doesn’t justify risk.
Yelp’s Benefits
If you were considering buying Yelp reviews, this is bad news. Not true. This is a reminder of Yelp’s power and why using it responsibly can help your online reputation.
Regular Yelpers know the site only posts reviews written by real customers. They’re more likely to trust any ratings they see on your page.
After that, make sure you get mostly positive reviews.
Correctly obtaining positive opinions
When you have happy customers, you can be moral and still get more Yelp ratings.
But don’t rely solely on Yelp ratings and reviews. It’s an essential review site, but so are Facebook, Google, TripAdvisor, and many others. Your complete online review profile includes all of these sites, and prospective clients read each one. That’s why it’s so important to get reviews on a variety of sites.
Automate the review-gathering process with ReputationStacker. It does this by asking clients a single question to see who had a good experience. Then, it directs your happy customers to the review sites you choose so they can leave a review while the event is still fresh in their minds.
We’ve heard that doing so will not only result in more good testimonials for you than buying them, but will also save you money.
You shouldn’t buy reviews; earn them.
You may be curious about how to buy Yelp reviews, but you probably already know it’s not a good idea for your company’s or your own reputation.
You can use your existing Yelp reviews to your advantage and generate new reviews using a variety of methods.
We’ll discuss many of these ways below.
Thank feedback
If you respond to comments on your Yelp page, even if there’s little criticism, you can show visitors that your top priority is providing a high-quality product (or service) and ensuring customer satisfaction.
You can encourage visitors to leave Yelp reviews by offering incentives. You can create review incentive signs similarly to how you would make clients aware of your page with signs or reminders from yourself or your employees.
Show customers your Yelp profile
Most of your clients probably won’t search for your company on Yelp to post a review. Most consumers won’t even consider writing a review, and many don’t know your business has a Yelp page.
Making your product or service more accessible to customers is a great way to get free reviews.
This can be as simple as asking customers to post a review on Yelp as they leave or encouraging staff to mention Yelp to customers as they leave. Thanks for visiting! Reminding clients to leave reviews on Yelp is helpful.
You can also make signs asking customers to review you on Yelp. Place these signs where customers can see them as they leave, such as at their tables (if you run a restaurant) or the checkout counter.
These deals must entice consumers, not just Yelp 5-star reviewers. They should attract customers. Limiting incentives to customers who gave your company five stars will look dishonest to consumers and may discourage them from leaving reviews.
Instead, use generic, all-purpose language. “Share your experience on Yelp!” We’d love your input. Bring a copy of your review on your next visit and get 10% off any purchase.
Critical reviews
On the other hand, Yelp customer complaints may be helpful. Former clients’ constructive feedback can shed light on your company’s day-to-day operations.
Criticism, though unpleasant, can help you better serve customers and attract new ones. You can answer Yelp reviews. Fix any mistakes you made and make amends with the customer.
This will fix any disagreements between your company and the dissatisfied client and show future customers that you care about their satisfaction.
Customer trust
Trust between businesses and customers is crucial for Yelp reviews. Gaining your clients’ trust is crucial if you want more positive reviews. Can you explain? In addition to telling the truth and avoiding buying Yelp reviews, you should listen to your customers.
Consistency
Be consistent. Customers visit your company expecting certain products or services. Before making changes to your business’s operations or products and services, consider if they will benefit and appeal to your existing customers.
Openness to customer needs and preferences can increase positive Yelp reviews.
Conclusion
Invest in company growth instead of buying Yelp reviews.
Because Yelp’s monitoring methods are so sophisticated, businesses that pay for reviews (with cash or by incentivizing consumers) often find their efforts counterproductive. The website detects and eliminates fake reviews and may publicly disgrace businesses that have purchased reviews.
Paying for reviews will ruin your reputation.
Reputation Stacker is the better option. It surveys your customers and sends satisfied ones to review sites of your choosing, where they can post genuine, positive reviews you’ve earned by doing things right.
0 notes
Text
Description
This tutorial explains how to buy Yelp reviews. We cover everything, including dangers.
Money can buy many things, but not a good reputation, not with Yelp watching.
It may seem like a tragedy at first. Wouldn’t it be easier if you could pay for positive Yelp reviews or offer discounts or free goods in exchange for reviews? These postings would bring in new customers who would be so impressed with your service that they’d provide honest feedback.
That’s not how things work, cowboy.
Paying for Yelp reviews may go unnoticed, and the reviews that follow may help your business, but it’s far more likely that this method would harm your image. Why?
We’ll discuss a more effective approach in a moment. Some details first…
Yelp’s Function
Yelp may be the most credible review site, above Facebook or Angie’s List.
Yelp’s reliability contributes to its popularity. The website has more than 224 million reviews and is used by companies worldwide.
Our website focuses on the customer, and the team knows that users won’t trust reviews if they can’t trust the information. Yelp has strict guidelines about phony reviews, including evaluations by company employees and bought recommendations.
Recipe’s Secret
The website uses a complex algorithm to filter out fraudulent, incentivized, or dishonest reviews. Because the website errs on the side of caution, both genuine and fake reviews are filtered out.
It analyzes many data points to determine which reviews are fake. Yelp isn’t very forthcoming with system information, so it’s hard to deceive. Even if you pay people with active Yelp accounts to review your business, Yelp may investigate… This could get you in trouble.
Yelp cases
Assume you’ve decided to buy Yelp reviews. Ideally, they’d be uploaded to your Yelp page and viewed. Unlikely.
Customers won’t be able to view them because they’ll likely be filtered out days after being uploaded. If so, you’ve wasted your money and have nothing to show for your efforts.
If that’s the worst that happens to you, consider yourself lucky…
Because the alternative is worse. Yelp has Consumer Alerts. It reveals a company’s unethical behavior. If your page contains fraudulent reviews and is flagged for action, the website will display a banner warning visitors not to trust you.
The banner will remain in its current location for at least three months, reminding thousands of consumers that you were suspected of buying reviews.
Offering money or other incentives for reviews could get you in trouble with the FTC (FTC). Reward doesn’t justify risk.
Yelp’s Benefits
If you were considering buying Yelp reviews, this is bad news. Not true. This is a reminder of Yelp’s power and why using it responsibly can help your online reputation.
Regular Yelpers know the site only posts reviews written by real customers. They’re more likely to trust any ratings they see on your page.
After that, make sure you get mostly positive reviews.
Correctly obtaining positive opinions
When you have happy customers, you can be moral and still get more Yelp ratings.
But don’t rely solely on Yelp ratings and reviews. It’s an essential review site, but so are Facebook, Google, TripAdvisor, and many others. Your complete online review profile includes all of these sites, and prospective clients read each one. That’s why it’s so important to get reviews on a variety of sites.
Automate the review-gathering process with ReputationStacker. It does this by asking clients a single question to see who had a good experience. Then, it directs your happy customers to the review sites you choose so they can leave a review while the event is still fresh in their minds.
We’ve heard that doing so will not only result in more good testimonials for you than buying them, but will also save you money.
You shouldn’t buy reviews; earn them.
You may be curious about how to buy Yelp reviews, but you probably already know it’s not a good idea for your company’s or your own reputation.
You can use your existing Yelp reviews to your advantage and generate new reviews using a variety of methods.
We’ll discuss many of these ways below.
Thank feedback
If you respond to comments on your Yelp page, even if there’s little criticism, you can show visitors that your top priority is providing a high-quality product (or service) and ensuring customer satisfaction.
You can encourage visitors to leave Yelp reviews by offering incentives. You can create review incentive signs similarly to how you would make clients aware of your page with signs or reminders from yourself or your employees.
Show customers your Yelp profile
Most of your clients probably won’t search for your company on Yelp to post a review. Most consumers won’t even consider writing a review, and many don’t know your business has a Yelp page.
Making your product or service more accessible to customers is a great way to get free reviews.
This can be as simple as asking customers to post a review on Yelp as they leave or encouraging staff to mention Yelp to customers as they leave. Thanks for visiting! Reminding clients to leave reviews on Yelp is helpful.
You can also make signs asking customers to review you on Yelp. Place these signs where customers can see them as they leave, such as at their tables (if you run a restaurant) or the checkout counter.
These deals must entice consumers, not just Yelp 5-star reviewers. They should attract customers. Limiting incentives to customers who gave your company five stars will look dishonest to consumers and may discourage them from leaving reviews.
Instead, use generic, all-purpose language. “Share your experience on Yelp!” We’d love your input. Bring a copy of your review on your next visit and get 10% off any purchase.
Critical reviews
On the other hand, Yelp customer complaints may be helpful. Former clients’ constructive feedback can shed light on your company’s day-to-day operations.
Criticism, though unpleasant, can help you better serve customers and attract new ones. You can answer Yelp reviews. Fix any mistakes you made and make amends with the customer.
This will fix any disagreements between your company and the dissatisfied client and show future customers that you care about their satisfaction.
Customer trust
Trust between businesses and customers is crucial for Yelp reviews. Gaining your clients’ trust is crucial if you want more positive reviews. Can you explain? In addition to telling the truth and avoiding buying Yelp reviews, you should listen to your customers.
Consistency
Be consistent. Customers visit your company expecting certain products or services. Before making changes to your business’s operations or products and services, consider if they will benefit and appeal to your existing customers.
Openness to customer needs and preferences can increase positive Yelp reviews.
Conclusion
Invest in company growth instead of buying Yelp reviews.
Because Yelp’s monitoring methods are so sophisticated, businesses that pay for reviews (with cash or by incentivizing consumers) often find their efforts counterproductive. The website detects and eliminates fake reviews and may publicly disgrace businesses that have purchased reviews.
Paying for reviews will ruin your reputation.
Reputation Stacker is the better option. It surveys your customers and sends satisfied ones to review sites of your choosing, where they can post genuine, positive reviews you’ve earned by doing things right.
Description
This tutorial explains how to buy Yelp reviews. We cover everything, including dangers.
Money can buy many things, but not a good reputation, not with Yelp watching.
It may seem like a tragedy at first. Wouldn’t it be easier if you could pay for positive Yelp reviews or offer discounts or free goods in exchange for reviews? These postings would bring in new customers who would be so impressed with your service that they’d provide honest feedback.
That’s not how things work, cowboy.
Paying for Yelp reviews may go unnoticed, and the reviews that follow may help your business, but it’s far more likely that this method would harm your image. Why?
We’ll discuss a more effective approach in a moment. Some details first…
Yelp’s Function
Yelp may be the most credible review site, above Facebook or Angie’s List.
Yelp’s reliability contributes to its popularity. The website has more than 224 million reviews and is used by companies worldwide.
Our website focuses on the customer, and the team knows that users won’t trust reviews if they can’t trust the information. Yelp has strict guidelines about phony reviews, including evaluations by company employees and bought recommendations.
Recipe’s Secret
The website uses a complex algorithm to filter out fraudulent, incentivized, or dishonest reviews. Because the website errs on the side of caution, both genuine and fake reviews are filtered out.
It analyzes many data points to determine which reviews are fake. Yelp isn’t very forthcoming with system information, so it’s hard to deceive. Even if you pay people with active Yelp accounts to review your business, Yelp may investigate… This could get you in trouble.
Yelp cases
Assume you’ve decided to buy Yelp reviews. Ideally, they’d be uploaded to your Yelp page and viewed. Unlikely.
Customers won’t be able to view them because they’ll likely be filtered out days after being uploaded. If so, you’ve wasted your money and have nothing to show for your efforts.
If that’s the worst that happens to you, consider yourself lucky…
Because the alternative is worse. Yelp has Consumer Alerts. It reveals a company’s unethical behavior. If your page contains fraudulent reviews and is flagged for action, the website will display a banner warning visitors not to trust you.
The banner will remain in its current location for at least three months, reminding thousands of consumers that you were suspected of buying reviews.
Offering money or other incentives for reviews could get you in trouble with the FTC (FTC). Reward doesn’t justify risk.
Yelp’s Benefits
If you were considering buying Yelp reviews, this is bad news. Not true. This is a reminder of Yelp’s power and why using it responsibly can help your online reputation.
Regular Yelpers know the site only posts reviews written by real customers. They’re more likely to trust any ratings they see on your page.
After that, make sure you get mostly positive reviews.
Correctly obtaining positive opinions
When you have happy customers, you can be moral and still get more Yelp ratings.
But don’t rely solely on Yelp ratings and reviews. It’s an essential review site, but so are Facebook, Google, TripAdvisor, and many others. Your complete online review profile includes all of these sites, and prospective clients read each one. That’s why it’s so important to get reviews on a variety of sites.
Automate the review-gathering process with ReputationStacker. It does this by asking clients a single question to see who had a good experience. Then, it directs your happy customers to the review sites you choose so they can leave a review while the event is still fresh in their minds.
We’ve heard that doing so will not only result in more good testimonials for you than buying them, but will also save you money.
You shouldn’t buy reviews; earn them.
You may be curious about how to buy Yelp reviews, but you probably already know it’s not a good idea for your company’s or your own reputation.
You can use your existing Yelp reviews to your advantage and generate new reviews using a variety of methods.
We’ll discuss many of these ways below.
Thank feedback
If you respond to comments on your Yelp page, even if there’s little criticism, you can show visitors that your top priority is providing a high-quality product (or service) and ensuring customer satisfaction.
You can encourage visitors to leave Yelp reviews by offering incentives. You can create review incentive signs similarly to how you would make clients aware of your page with signs or reminders from yourself or your employees.
Show customers your Yelp profile
Most of your clients probably won’t search for your company on Yelp to post a review. Most consumers won’t even consider writing a review, and many don’t know your business has a Yelp page.
Making your product or service more accessible to customers is a great way to get free reviews.
This can be as simple as asking customers to post a review on Yelp as they leave or encouraging staff to mention Yelp to customers as they leave. Thanks for visiting! Reminding clients to leave reviews on Yelp is helpful.
You can also make signs asking customers to review you on Yelp. Place these signs where customers can see them as they leave, such as at their tables (if you run a restaurant) or the checkout counter.
These deals must entice consumers, not just Yelp 5-star reviewers. They should attract customers. Limiting incentives to customers who gave your company five stars will look dishonest to consumers and may discourage them from leaving reviews.
Instead, use generic, all-purpose language. “Share your experience on Yelp!” We’d love your input. Bring a copy of your review on your next visit and get 10% off any purchase.
Critical reviews
On the other hand, Yelp customer complaints may be helpful. Former clients’ constructive feedback can shed light on your company’s day-to-day operations.
Criticism, though unpleasant, can help you better serve customers and attract new ones. You can answer Yelp reviews. Fix any mistakes you made and make amends with the customer.
This will fix any disagreements between your company and the dissatisfied client and show future customers that you care about their satisfaction.
Customer trust
Trust between businesses and customers is crucial for Yelp reviews. Gaining your clients’ trust is crucial if you want more positive reviews. Can you explain? In addition to telling the truth and avoiding buying Yelp reviews, you should listen to your customers.
Consistency
Be consistent. Customers visit your company expecting certain products or services. Before making changes to your business’s operations or products and services, consider if they will benefit and appeal to your existing customers.
Openness to customer needs and preferences can increase positive Yelp reviews.
Conclusion
Invest in company growth instead of buying Yelp reviews.
Because Yelp’s monitoring methods are so sophisticated, businesses that pay for reviews (with cash or by incentivizing consumers) often find their efforts counterproductive. The website detects and eliminates fake reviews and may publicly disgrace businesses that have purchased reviews.
Paying for reviews will ruin your reputation.
Reputation Stacker is the better option. It surveys your customers and sends satisfied ones to review sites of your choosing, where they can post genuine, positive reviews you’ve earned by doing things right.
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Liam’s full interview with Tings Magazine - Part 1
Note: the interview was recorded in may 2020.
Justin Campbell: What is the weirdest YouTube/Instagram trend hole that you’ve fallen into?
Liam: One that always gets me is putting Mentos in Pepsi or Coke. We all know what happens, but we have to watch the ending. I’ve seen it about fifty times, and it doesn’t change. But it’s weird finding out what things are interesting when you’re stuck inside. It’s a crazy ride watching the world react to this. It’s almost like everybody’s become a street performer. You see these people on the street who have a special skill like magic and the internet is now the place for that and everybody does it.
Do you feel pressured to participate? Is there currency in that? Does that keep you relevant?
I think artists have had to change a lot to fit in. There used to be mystery where you didn’t know too much about their lives, whereas we are in my living room now for all the world to see. I think that’s the biggest change of these newer platforms. I think you have to join in if you want to stay relevant. If you look at someone like Jason Derulo, he has 19 million followers on TikTok and he just started. His old songs are re-charting because of the TikTok chart. So, you can’t just make music and expect it to go well anymore. There has to be a personality and a story. It’s not quite the same anymore.
There’s so many differente avenues to keep up with. There’s Instagram, YouTube, TikTok. It used to be you did radio, tours and late-night television. Now there seem to be a dozen things to do.
It’s crazy, this last promo schedule for me, having to do it indoors. I had to learn how to do a bunch of different jobs for the people that couldn’t be here. We put up a green screen in my lounge. We moved all the sofas, me and the camera guy that is staying with me set up the green screen and then you have to film it as well. It’s just crazy the amount of different things that you have to get involved in right now to stay relevant. And that’s all it is. The majority of the stuff isn’t really doing anything, but it’s doing loads at the same time if that makes sense. It’s a difficult thing to get used.
And also, things have gotten jovial. So, you have to learn to make fun of ourselves. You can’t be Mr. Serious pop-star anymore. People aren’t really attracted to that anymore. People like the fun side of you, your personality and your humor come through on these things. It’s crazy. I thought about when I joined TikTok the other week, there’s a pressure to film something fun. But then if you are not having fun filming it, you’re not going to film a fun video. And I didn’t want to live my life every day thinking I got to film a video or nobody is going to care. I spent an hour trying to think of stuff and I don’t want to live my life like this. I enjoy then. I like going on TikTok and getting lost in a little TikTok rabbit hole, we all do, but I don’t know if I’m that way inclined mentally.
With the need to share more, to share a comedic side or a vulnerable side, where do you draw the line? When do you stop sharing? How much of it is constructed sharing and how much of it is authentic sharing?
It’s difficult. I’m very prone to enjoy a moment rather than take my camera out and film it. I’m always one of those people who take a picture of a sunset and then never look at it and say why did I bother taking the picture. I’d rather enjoy the moment. We live in a day and age where the camera phone is people’s first thought for things. And I’m just not one of those people. Humorous stuff will happen and it will be off the cuff, but we didn’t film it. And it will be like “aw, should we recreate it?” But we don’t want to recreate it. It just feels stupid. It always feels forced in that sense. So for me, I definitely struggle with sharing moments.
And you have those people out there, who are literally willing to do anything. There’s a trend for people who are shaving their eyebrows off at the moment. I’m not going to shave my eyebrows off so people will care a little more. That just doesn’t register with me. You have Jake and Logan Paul, who do a lot of crazy, crazy things to get noticed. And it’s like where do you draw the line.
These platforms make it challenging to carve out a private life. People expect more and more of celebrities’ lives to be shared. They feel they have ownership of every aspect of people’s lives. What are your thoughts on that?
From the start of this lockdown, the first James Corden TV performance was filmed in the lounge and we went through my whole house. I can remember back in the day when a newspaper sent out the photos of my house. I don’t like people knowing where I sleep because it’s a security problem for me. I had a big complaint about that. Now fast forward 5-6 years and the world has changed to where nothing is really a private or intimate moment. It’s strange. As One Direction, we were in an era on the rise of Twitter. I think Twitter helped us a lot. It was the way we trended on Twitter that actually made us famous. But being on the cusp of that internet stardom, we didn’t really care about how many followers [we had].
Now, it’s become a currency. I just struggle to take those things seriously, that it is part of the job because it feels so foreign. When we had apps as kids, there was no way to becoming MSN famous. Now kids want to be an Instagrammer or a TikTokker. It’s crazy. We never had that.
You said something about people chasing the currency of liked and follows. Kids are thinking about that validation when they are creating content. How much of that are you thinking about it when you create music or social media/video content?
I think, for me, I don’t often pay attention to how many likes thing gets. As a pop star, you have to have an average amount per post. We have to have meetings now where people will go through posts, and tell you why this works. Which for me, it seems insane, but you have this persona that you have to keep up online. And definitely, when posting certain things, you are gauging whether it’s going to get a reaction or there’s no point in posting it. And that’s always been the problem for me. I’m hoping for a big reaction for stuff which limits the amount you post because you think there’s no point posting this.
Often the people who do the best in these scenarios are the people that didn’t mean for it to happen. Someone makes a little challenge like The Ice Bucket Challenge. Someone thought I’ll do this. It will be fun for us to film and because they are having fun, everyone is like we will get involved. If you think about it too much, it will overtake you. For the longest time, I didn’t post a lot. I got off of Twitter because of the backlash and the fact that you are always going to annoy someone with a post. I was like, I can’t deal with it. I might as well keep it to myself. There’s no disappointment.
I think that’s part of the condition of being an artist. You crave a certain amount of validation.
When it’s work, you can take that some people won’t get it. But because everything has become so personal now like it’s about you. You sell your personality to people. It’s like if someone asks you “what five things do you want people to know about you”. And everyone goes, well, I’d like to be... You suddenly think, what we are doing every day online is trying to sell ourselves.
It’s a difficult balance. You have to have the right amount of humor and humility and the right amount of this. It’s so difficult to find that person. And you see people who become caricatures of themselves online. They overdo it. You don’t know what works any why it works. The internet is such an untested experiment. The public decides. It’s so crazy.
You just said that it can feel so personal, which I think is such an honest statement because when you are putting yourself out there, it is hard to celebrate the work and you. When people don’t like something, it can feel like they are personally attacking you.
It genuinely scares me sometimes. Even to post a selfie, because you just don’t know what the recipe is. I’m not trying to impress anyone. I’m just trying to stay around if that makes sense. I don’t know, it’s difficult. The fact that you just let it go and it’s gone and people either take it or leave it. It’s like jumping on stage every time you post, which scares me anyway.
You’ve spoken pretty openly about dealing with depression and anxiety. How does this level of exposure impact your ability to manage your anxiety?
Before all of this started, the first day of school would probably be when you are your most anxious. Or it’s your own clothes day and you don’t know what to wear. That feels like what everyone is going through every single day online. It’s like the teen generation has so many more questions to answer that we had. I know as a kid I was quite stressed. I can’t imagine how these kids feel these days.
The only way I can relate is by how I feel in this scenario. Obviously, being a little bit older, you are a little wiser with it. I thinks it’s a different kind of pressure these days. It’s a worldwide pressure. The fact that anyone can become a superstar overnight or also the most embarrassing thing in the world and the line is that thin. I can’t imagine what is like for kids growing up in that scenario. For me, it’s raised a lot of questions about my mental health and having to deal with these things. I’ve been running a pilot with someone for people in my position, people who struggle with fame, with the position that they get themselves. You don’t really realize the playbook you’re pressing. Once you’re in it, you’re in it.
I started from 14-16, were my two start years. And the only answer that people had for you was that you’ve got have thick skin. But I don’t think that’s really the point because once you are here, you have to find out if your skin is thick enough. You have to learn. For the longest time, if somebody wrote something about me in the press, I’d rise back up and bring back up. I didn’t realize they were trying to bait me out because they knew I’d do that. Then they’d write three more articles about the scenario that I didn’t want them to write about. You can only know that with years of experience. If something comes out now, I just leave it to die and go away and that’s it. I just think it’s difficult when people say the only answer is that you have to have thick skin to do this.
That’s not really a solution. That’s just saying you asked for this. This is just part of it, which I don’t think is fair. Is fame something that you struggle with a lot?
For me, there’s different periods, severe highs with different things and a lot of questions about stuff. I’ve been going at this now for ten years, which seems insane. I’m only 26 as well, which is quite a long time to be doing anything. And to be in this pressure cooker for that long is quite difficult, but I say I’ve learned to deal with it better now. Age and time are wonderful things. And we were buffered as teens. We had each other in the band.
When I look at someone like Justin Bieber, I think no wonder he went completely mental at some point because there is no one in the world that knows what is like to be Justin Bieber, but Justin Bieber. He had no one to share it with. We had each other to share it with, to remember it with and be reminded how to behave, how to act. You shouldn’t do that. It was tough at some points, but for the most part it was helpful growing up in that team exercise rather than be let off on your own and you’re the most famous person in the world. It must have been pretty crazy for him.
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boyfriend kim mingyu bullet points.
ps. this is my first time writing in a bullet points format, i hope i did it right
food is the center of your relationship (5/9 of the pictures are basically him eating, not at all surprising)
your date always centers around food, whether it’d be lunch dates, dinner dates, snack dates, trying out new restaurants, late night snack dates, convenience store mukbang dates, and even cooking class dates
you would always sit on his right side, him on your left side
you find it so cute that he’s left handed
you would always have to roll up his sleeves during a meal because he gets so excited about food *basically a whole baby
you like watching him stuff food in his mouth, making his cheeks puff up like a hamster
he would pout when you teased him about it
desserts
a must after every date
you find out that both of you follow the motto “there is always room for dessert” during your first date and he immediately knew you were the one for him
again, during dessert, especially if it’s ice cream, you would have to roll up his sleeves, and wipe off the melted ice cream on his fingers, and sometimes lips and cheeks
he would steal licks of your ice cream when you’re not looking
or if he’s feeling experimental, would mix both of your ice cream flavors to create a new flavor
doesn’t always work out that well
speaking of food, cooking is basically a whole other type of date
although you are more on the baking side, you love to help him try out recipes, become his assistant in the kitchen, or simply helping him clean up
you always love what he cooks, especially knowing how much care and love he puts to it
the same thing if you’re baking, mingyu loves your baked goods, from cakes to muffins to desserts to anything basically
sometimes you’d receive a text in the middle of the day of him suggesting you to try out a recipe he found online
and you did try some of them, which made him very happy
with your limited cooking skills, you’d sometimes send him homemade lunch when he has practice, alongside some snacks for the other members cause you can’t forget about them
mingyu would beam in pride when the members praised your chocolate chip cookies, or banana muffins, or fruit cake or when they fought over who gets the last piece of egg tart you made
homemade cake and dinner is a must for special occasions, especially birthdays, you both go out to eat quite a lot so during these special occasions you both like to just stay at home and cook or bake together
mingyu’s birthday cake from year to year always changes depending on his request, from the classic chocolate cake to apple pie to that crepe cake which took hours to make, and even a stack of macarons cause he hinted that he wanted a macarons tower cake *yes you’ve made so many cakes for him, you’ve dated for that long, mingyu is a guy with commitment
food photos, a must, everywhere you eat, every meal you make at home, every successful or failed recipes
and speaking of pictures-he has a separate album on his phone only for your pictures, the selfies you sent him, candid pics he took of you, your pictures together, impromptu photoshoots he made you do when he really likes your outfit
and don’t get started on the videos, he records whenever he can, something for him to see when he misses you, or when you’re asleep but he wants to see you but he kinda doesn’t want to wake you up, also something to laugh at because there are some moments worth laughing at *over and over again, he never gets enough of it
that’s just the photos on his phoneyou can expect the same situation with his camera
the pictures he took are beautiful, and he always tries to capture you in the most natural setting, he absolutely loved taking candid pictures of you, close up shoots that showed the way your eyes lit up at the beach in front of you, or how the wind blows your hair softly
on the rare occasion that you get to be behind the camera instead of him, it’s his turn to be in every picture
sometimes he lets you use his camera, he loved the pictures you took, how you managed to capture everyday life details that others would sometimes miss, he loves nothing more than to see the world through your eyes
moving on to one of the obvious facts here, height difference
the boy is tall, like skyscraper talland you wonder if he would every stop growing taller because it seemed like everytime you see him he gets even taller
“stop it, you’re like a head taller than me”
which does comes with some pretty good perks
like when you can’t reach something from the top shelves, whether it be mugs in the kitchen, books in your favorite book store, that huge bag of chips at the convenience store, also very handy when it comes to changing lightbulbs
“why would you need a ladder when you have me ?”
he’s very smug about, and also lowkey dying from cuteness whenever he gets a reminder of how much shorter you are compared to him, it makes him want to squish you in a hug-
which he always does
hugs. from. mingyu. are. the. best.
just warm and comforting, sometimes he’ll lift you up and spin you around, sometimes he’ll kiss the top of your head, and rub your back, and tuck your head under his chin and you can just melt into his arms
back to the height topic
he likes to steal your books or phone when you were too focused that you’re not giving him enough attention
he would lift it above his head, completely out of your reach even if you tried your best to stand on your tippy toes
would most definitely laugh at your struggle while you give him the death glaresand he would say that you look like an angry bunny or a pissed off golden retriever puppy
which ultimately makes you roll your eyes at himnot to forget, you are also his portable arm rest
likes to mess with you by putting his huge arms on your shoulder, or on your head, purposely messing up your hair
but seriously, mingyu sometimes forgets the fact that he’s a giant and that he could easily crush you, so there were occasions when he would lean on you and you’d lose balance which resulted in both of you on the floor
yes, that happened
moving on
family
the most important thing for him and you
he took you to meet his family after a couple of dates because he’s been telling his mom about you and now she wants to meet you
his mom is very very nice, showing her affection by making you eat more (like how any mom would), also thanking you for taking care of mingyu because according to his mom, he looks so much healthier and happier now
after the first meeting with his family, his mom suddenly became your mom too, especially after mingyu gave her your number
would sometimes call you during lunch time to remind you to eat, ask you how you are doing, in general just the sweetest and loveliest person ever (not much of a surprise since we all know how sweet her son is), you think you might cry because she’s so caring
his mom would also send you kimchi when she has extras
correction, she purposely made more than usual so she can send you some too
which you gratefully accept after thanking her for a million times, then sending her back one of your baked goods
which she loves
and would not stop talking about it because she knows that you can bake but she was not expecting it to be absolutely great
mingyu loves seeing your relationship with his mom, and kinda jealous too because whenever he’s out of town for tour or promotions, you get to hangout with his mom, which he is very jealous about, but also he couldn’t help but smile looking at the pictures that you and his mom took together
but then you started hanging out with his sister too, and now you have a partner to tease him, which he doesn’t approve of because it seemed like his family likes you more than him now
especially since his sister has an ally now, and it’s 2 vs 1 with you and his sister against him
when you were hanging out one day in your place, his mom called you to ask if you’ve eaten yet
“eomma, how can you call y/n but not reply to the text i sent you last night”
you tried so hard to not laugh at his facial expression when his mom teased him by saying that you are her favorite child now
you spent the rest of the day laughing at him whenever he grumbled under his breath “i can’t believe my mom manages to call you, but not reply to her own son’s text message”
the only way to make him stop pouting-
hugs
are we not surprised herethis boy is sometimes so random, like that time when you were eating pasta, and he suddenly wanted to reenact that scene from the movie lady and the tramp
safe to say that you got sauce all over both of your shirts, and well... a few kisses too
his kisses are always so sweet, they’re the type that makes your heart squeeze and your toes curl
he loves to surprise you with light kisses on your cheeks, your forehead, your nose, your hand, your hair, he just couldn’t help it sometimes
mostly they’re innocent, and full of love
unless he’s feeling a bit more passionate, he’ll pull you in for a longer kiss, hands resting on your cheek as his thumb gently brushed your skin, his other hand would either be on your waist, or your back, holding you so close to him
mingyu likes to take it slow, he likes to savor the moment, he doesn’t want it to end, so his lips would move slowly against yours, sometimes he would smile or let out a few giggles, making you giggle too
basically it’s pretty much light and playful with him, but still very meaningful
let’s just say that he always finds the most random times to kiss you, but always when it’s just the two of you, because your relationship isn’t actually something that the public knows
speaking of relationships, only his members, family and managers knows about you, and you both would like to keep it that way for as long as possible
you didn’t mind it at all, since you’re a very much private person yourself, so you have no problem with keeping it on the low
on the rare occasions that you both get to go out for your dates, he would always drive you somewhere a bit further away from the city
or somewhere private, with less to no people, the beach, a rooftop, restaurants that serves tiny servings of food that costs more that your meal weekly (which you didn’t mind, but you reminded mingyu to never spend too much on you)
did he ever listen ? yes, you guessed it right. never.
sometimes both of your schedules meant that you don’t get to see each other for weeks, even with being in the same city
but he’ll make it up to you by taking you away for the weekend, to a small town by the beach where you take long walks along the coastline, and eat dinner with sunsets
you love road trips like this, he’d pick you up, then you would jam out to songs on the way, stop by a rest area for brunch, and bought more snacks to accompany you for the rest of the trip
mingyu knows you love the ocean so much, so he would take you to the beach to watch the sun set, take unlimited amount of photos, pull you in for a hug and smother your face with kisses
then you’d have dinner accompanied by your laughter and conversations about anything
“thank you, for taking me here”
he’s shook his head, “no, this is my thank you, cause you’ve put up with being with someone like me”
his eyes would turn sad as he remembered how rarely you both met because of his schedules, “i’m sorry i’m not the best partner, we barely see each other”
at this, you would hold his hand and made him look at you, “hey, there’s nothing to be sorry about, i’m okay with this, it doesn’t matter if we couldn’t meet for months because that’s your career, your dream, just like i have mine, you have yours too, right ?”
“i know, but i mean- i’ve seen your friends and their partners, you know those boyfriends who would pick them up after class, who’d hold their hand as they walk down the street, take them to movies, not having to hide and be cautious all the time-“
“gyu, what makes you think i cared about those things ? i’m completely fine with having a boyfriend who still makes time to hang out at my place after a long day of practice, someone who sends me good luck videos when he’s halfway around the world living his dreams, someone who trusts me enough to let me be the first one to know about their comebacks and projects-“
and from the way you spoke to him with that shine in your eyes, he couldn’t help but lean closer and pull you in for a short kiss, pausing whatever you have to say
“i love you, thank you for putting up with me”
#seventeen imagines#seventeen scenarios#seventeen#svt#svt imagines#svt scenarios#seventeen boyfriend#svt boyfriend#svt fluff#seventeen fluff#seventeen kim mingyu#seventeen mingyu#kim mingyu#mingyu#mingyu imagines#mingyu scenarios#mingyu fluff#mingyu boyfriend#kim mingyu imagines
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I can’t believe it took me until part 8 to do my favorite boy but
Here are the pros and cons of dating
Noah
Cons
Noah is really non confrontational, so he tends to let issues fester. It’s not that he’s trying to let things build up, it’s just that he doesn’t think they’re important enough to bring up. He won’t start a fight about them when they’ve built up, but if MC is angry about something he’ll mention that there’s a bunch of things he’s let go but not have specifics. It ends up coming out like ‘yeah well what about all the other things?!’ ‘what other things!?’ ‘I don’t remember!!’. He’s not actively keeping track of all her mistakes, he genuinely does forgive and forget, but then when tensions come to a boil he needs to point out that there has been conflict that he just ignored. He’s not trying to guilt or gaslight MC, but sometimes it feels like it. If she thinks especially little of his intentions, it feels like he’s just pulling things out of thin air to be mad instead of focusing on the issue. That’s not what he’s doing- he just doesn’t address little things until they feel like big things. But of course he hasn’t done the introspection to truly understand how doing this is hurtful or articulate that he doesn’t mean it to be.
When he and MC disagree, he lets things go wayyy too easily. This is fine if MC is a really mature, self-reflective person who can see that she’s crossed a line after the fact. But if MC is a little more selfish/immature, like Lottie, this is a huge con because he doesn’t give her accountability that would help her grow. We saw this with Hope- she wasn’t able to recognize how harmful her temper was when she was dating Noah because he never pointed it out, he just rolled over. If there’s a genuine problem- financial, emotional, logistically, he’ll ‘let it go’ until it’s a way bigger problem (and much harder to solve).
Sorry that most of these cons are about how he fights with people, but that’s what we saw in-game lol. I’d love to know more about how Lucas or Rahim fight with their partners. But when you’re arguing, Noah tends to focus on really little details of what you said instead of listening to the whole thing and getting a sense of the bigger picture. So let’s say the issue is ‘Noah, I need you to tell me when you’re borrowing my car because you took it to the gym and then it went from having enough gas to get me to work in the morning to being on empty. This morning I had to stop for gas and that made me late.” The issue there is actually ‘please tell me when you’re using my car”, but he fixates on the gas part and says “well fine I can fill up your tank”. So he focuses on little details that he can fix instead of acknowledging the actual problem.
He internalizes things so fucking hard. Yes he intellectually knows that when MC gives him feedback on things she’s talking about his BEHAVIOR and not him as a person, but he definitely feels like shit about himself if he makes a mistake and MC calls him on it. He’ll definitely beat himself up about things for weeks after it happens, and his internal dialogue in general is pretty toxic.
I can see him being a bit of a workaholic. Not in the same sense that Camilo is in Boat Party, but Noah definitely will go into the library on a day he’s scheduled to be off if he has projects to work on or will stay late because he got engrossed in research. Same thing now that the library’s closed because of COVID- it takes him two times as long to put everyone online and work from home, so he’s spending more time working than ever. He views it through the lens of the ‘greater good’- getting that display set up for the patrons is more important that seeing his wife two hours earlier because many members of the community outnumber one person. Plus he just cares so much about his work that he has a hard time seeing it as an inconvenience to other people.
He loves his family so much. Even when MC and he get married and have kids, he struggles to prioritize them over his siblings and parents. So if his little brother Arlo needs money, Noah won’t hesitate to give him a loan even if he and MC are struggling financially. If his aging mom or dad can’t live alone anymore, Noah will invite them to move in with his family, even if their house isn’t big enough to accommodate more people. I can see this being a huge point of contention, especially in that second scenario where MC would have to take on a caretaker role as well. Noah just wants to help people so bad and has a hard time saying no, so that can sometimes impede his partner.
He’s really used to living on low income, and so he has a lot of frugal habits and concessions that he thinks are normal that someone more middle or upper class might find irritating. These are all coming from my experience and things partners have complained about- but think things like only eating out once a month or refusing to turn the heat on until it’s dangerous or making his own laundry detergent. He grew up doing them out of necessity (and still does, student debt on a public librarian’s budget? I couldn’t do it), so he doesn’t realize how strange or frustrating his habits might be to someone who isn’t used to it. He also has a really hard time justifying spending excessive amounts of money, so if MC has lavish taste there’s going to be some conflict.
He doesn’t like initiating anything. Conversations, activities… you know *smirk emoji*. He will, but the ratio of when Noah suggests something to when MC does is like 1:8
My boy is beautiful, and his clothes look lovely, but he has 7 outfits that he rewears all the time. The closest thing to fashion is him putting a different button up shirt underneath his vest. It’s definitely a joke at work that he wears the same sweater, button up, and quarter length shirt just in different colors. You know that vine where the teacher walks into the room wearing the same shirt in different colors, saying the same ‘hello’ for like a million days. Noah’s coworkers remake that with him, because that’s exactly what he does.
He’s a bit of a homebody, and loves routine. For me, massive plus, I love that. But for someone who wants to party regularly or be spontaneous, I can see constantly changing plans and going out with people being really draining to Noah. He has a small group of close friends, so he’d struggle to remember MC’s friends' names if she has more than five. Don’t get me wrong, Noah will take MC to galleries and dates at least three times a month, but it has to be discussed and scheduled in advance.
Pros
Honestly, what isn’t a pro about him? Noah is a steadfast, thoughtful, and kind person. His politics are about taking care of people, providing them dignity and respect, and building community. He loves his family and is incredibly patient. He’s incredibly smart but not at all classist or condescending about it. I know this is supposed to be about how the islanders affect the person they’re dating, but oh my god he’s such a good person I love him. Let’s just say the pro for this is his positive aura.
He’s really good at group dynamics and listening, so he goes out of his way to make everyone feel heard and valued. If someone says something and no one acknowledges it, he’ll specifically engage with them so they’re not left hanging. If someone’s trying to get a word in but can’t, he’ll get everyone’s attention then say ‘so and so had an idea’. He’s not one to boisterously laugh in group settings, but he always makes eye contact and smiles if you make a joke that flops or say something he agrees with. If people are teasing about something, he picks up if it’s gone too far really easily and will gracefully change the subject/tell them to knock it off.
He’s super conscientious about respecting boundaries and ensuring the people around him are taking care of himself. If MC and him are long distance and texting after 10pm, he’ll be like “I love you, but we’ve both got to sleep. I’ll talk to you tomorrow”. He’ll always check and make sure people have eaten when meeting up with them, and if they haven’t he’ll insist they get food from somewhere. 100% gives you his jacket, brings you water bottles, in general just wants you to take care of yourself.
Above all else, Noah just always ensures the people around him feel safe. The last thing he’d want to do is make people uncomfortable, so safe driving, safe spaces, safe sex are all musts. He’s really good in crisis situations because he can calm people down and encourage them to think critically.
Building off of that, he’s really aware of how much of the housework is being done by who and always tries to ensure he’s doing his part. I bet that was a big thing he ripped on Rahim for- Rahim expects his woman to clean up after him and do the bulk of the domestic work, and Noah knows that’s bullshit. I think Noah likes cleaning, anyways, and will usually take laundry/disinfecting bathrooms/cleaning dishes over cooking or running errands. But the mental load of keeping track of recipes/groceries that need replenishing and keeping up with kids needs, he’s aware of the imbalance and does his part. Obvious plus, because it sounds fucking exhausting to date a man. He fucking hates vaccuming though, and will splurge on a roomba.
He has a dry sense of humor that’s very based in puns and hyperbole. Sometimes it’s hard to know when he’s joking or not, but he never makes you feel bad for missing a joke or dwells on something for too long. He absolutely subscribes to the Mcelroys’ No Bummers rule, there are some things you don’t joke about and he’s happy to shut down inappropriate comments or ‘jokes’. He definitely prefers physical gaffs and dumb ways of saying things, so his favorite comedians are John Mulaney and Chris Fleming. While humor isn’t an important part of how he relates to other people, Noah enjoys being around funny people and won’t shut down their energy like Rahim, Marisol, or Hope.
This is just me projecting again but Noah is generoussss. Even though he doesn’t make a lot of money at the library, he still has a ‘mutual aid’ budget each month (and goes over it often). He’s the first one to give money to panhandlers, donate to gofundmes, and give friends/family personal loans. That definitely gets him into sticky situations sometimes, because he has a hard time saying no and can get taken advantage of, but ultimately I think it’s a pro because he’ll never forget where he came from and always prioritize helping other people.
He has a really pretty, deep singing voice and this is a pro to me because fuck I meltttttt.
The shit he says to his partner or spouse? THE most romantic thing in the world. You think Mr. “you’re made of stardust” doesn’t shower his lover with the most meaningful lines at random times? You think he’s not quoting sappho and jane austen when he’s at a loss for words? You think he’s NOT going to turn over in bed on a lazy Saturday and say ‘this is the most perfect my life will ever be’? It’s not even prompted either, yes he’ll compliment Bobby or MC when they get all dressed up for date night, but more often he’ll profess his adoration in the middle of dinner, then take another forkful of food.
Fantastic with kids, and this is a huge pro because people who can work with kids and be patient/positive with them make me so fuckim soft. But if/when (hopefully when because if MC didn’t want kids I don’t think it’d last) they had kids, Noah is happy to be on bottle duty, wake up early to the baby, and generally be a really involved parent. He’ll take a big chunk of paternity leave, and generally be there as much as humanly possible. Even when they have multiple little tyrants running around, he always makes time to be alone with MC and make sure she’s not taking on too much.
He’s basically a lesbian, which is definitely a reason I love him so much. Hear me out- loves milfs, loves 80s music, communicates affection through meaningful glances and playing with hair but will die before explicitly saying any of it, crushes on his best friend for the longest time but never makes the first move, puts way too much emotional meaning and personal metaphors into objects and then presents them as gifts, is into fandoms and actively collects pop figures, is attracted to assertive/powerful women, wears beige skinny jeans, wears VESTS….. That’s a lesbian. He’s a bisexual man, but he’s also an honorary lesbian.
A really good confidant. Noah’s an amazing listener and never judges people harshly- his life philosophy is as long as you’re not hurting anymore or yourself, everything else is details. So you can definitely tell him secrets and confess regrets to him and he’ll listen with those soft eyes and gentle nods. Talking to him about mistakes always feels like unburdening yourself. And he’d never tell your secret to anyone. Doesn’t matter if you cheat on him, lie to him, or die, he’s never going to tell anyone your secrets.
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Sugar Snow and Peppermint Pathways
Pairing: Fitz Vacker/Dex Dizznee, Sophie Foster/Biana Vacker
Wordcount: 9,587
Summary: Unlike many baking shows out there, the Holiday Bake-Off isn’t elimination-based, which viewers claim makes it all the more interesting. Each competitor, however, is entirely on their own- which means that if the Vacker siblings do attend, they’ll be working against each other for the first time ever.
Dex rolls out the cookie dough again. "I hate them so much."
(Or: nearly everyone is a famous baker, Biana and Fitz are both a little bit in love, and Dex Dizznee does not, under any circumstances, want to interact with the Vackers.)
Other notes: my Winter Exchange gift for @yeetersofthelostcities! I probably wasn’t supposed to tell you as much about this fic as I did, but it’s also 9k, so I think you can forgive me.
Read it on AO3 (much recommended since this is long and some of the fonts didn’t quite translate to Tumblr) or under the cut!
World-Famous Vacker Siblings Rumored To Be On 2020’s Annual Holiday Bake-Off
Fitzroy and Biana Vacker have been making a lot of headlines this year, from the opening of their new bakery in Chicago to the millions of dollars they’ve donated to various charities around the globe. The sibling duo seems to have been born with baking skills- and it’s no surprise, since their mother is Della Vacker, author of five bestselling cookbooks. (See our biography of Della Vacker if you’d like to learn more!)
But this December may mark their greatest trial yet. Netflix’s Happy Holiday Bake-Off garnered more than three million views last year, and it’s set to get even more attention this year now that four-star restaurant owner Edaline Ruewen is hosting.
For those of you new to the bake-off, the rules are simple: it’s comprised of five different baking challenges, spread out over the week leading up to Christmas Day. Each of the eight competitors will have five different chances to wow the judges- and on the final day, whoever’s made the most impact will win thousands of dollars. Unlike many baking shows out there, the Holiday Bake-Off isn’t elimination-based, which viewers claim makes it all the more interesting. Each competitor, however, is entirely on their own- which means that if the Vacker siblings do attend, they’ll be working against each other for the first time ever.
--read more--
OTHER NEWS
13 Christmas Cookie recipes to brighten up your winter!
“It’s All In The Butter”: Edaline Ruewen shares the secret of her famous butterblasts!
Fintan Pyren opens a new barbeque joint in Upper Manhattan. Its name? Flambé.
Subscribe to BAKER’S WEEKLY ONLINE today and get a free tote bag!
-/-
December 12, 2020.
Biana Vacker’s Self-Proclaimed Trash Can Fire
New York City, New York.
“No.”
“Yes,” Biana says cheerfully, leaning over the dining room table to ruffle her brother’s hair. Fitz glares at her. “I’ve already signed the papers.”
“But-” Fitz sighs, apparently already giving up. “Ugh. I’m busy.”
“Fun fact: spending thirty hours trying to refine the perfect croissant recipe does not qualify as being ‘busy’. Our croissants are delicious. They don’t need any more work. You, however, need a vacation.”
“Funner fact: competing against my own sister on a reality show broadcast to the country is less of a vacation than working out apricot croissants would be.”
“Even more fun fact: ‘funner’ is not a word.”
“Even funner fact: I literally do not give a single fuck.”
Della’s laugh crackles over the phone, warm and bright. “Language, Fitzroy,” she says. Livvy snorts.
“He’s twenty-two years old, Dell. I don’t think you get to say that.”
Biana giggles. She can almost picture the scene at the other end of the call- her moms curled up on the couch, Della nursing a cup of mulled cider as Livvy talks intently about her patients at the hospital. Their menorah will have four candles lit by tonight, mirroring the one that sits on Biana’s own side table. The whole house will be filled with warmth and laughter.
Biana misses that sometimes, looking around her empty apartment. Wishes she was still a little girl and could snuggle up next to her mom and watch The Nutcracker because Della knew, without asking, that Biana was sad. Before all this… responsibility.
That’s not really fair, though, because when she was a little girl Livvy wasn’t there, and Della was sad, and Fitz was angry. So maybe she doesn’t miss the old days- maybe she just misses having someone there to understand her.
Fitz is here, she reminds herself. He’s not leaving. He’s good, and he’s not leaving.
“... chocolate chips on the ceiling,” her brother is saying when Biana snaps back to the conversation. Over the phone, Della groans.
“Don’t even mention that. Goodness, I’m glad you’ve left the ‘crazy parties’ stage of your life behind, Fitz. Those were hell to clean up after.”
“I don’t know, it was pretty funny to watch him try to repair a chair while hungover the next morning,” Biana teases. Fitz rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling.
“I didn’t-”
There’s a loud beeping noise Biana registers as an oven timer, and she spins around towards her kitchen before realizing it’s coming from her moms’ end. Della makes an apologetic noise.
“Sorry, darlings, we should go. I love you!”
“Love you too,” Biana and Fitz echo. There’s a rustling sound, like Della is moving to hang up, and then she pauses.
“Oh, and Fitz, I think the Holiday Bake-Off is a wonderful idea. Good luck!”
And then Biana’s phone is flashing the Time Elapsed: 22 minutes screen, and her brother is back to glaring at her.
“No.”
“I’m not arguing this anymore,” Biana says, moving towards the kitchen and filling up a pot of water. “Do we want spaghetti for dinner?”
“Sure,” Fitz retrieves several cans of tomato sauce and dumps them in a pot. “I just- sorry. What if we lose?”
“Well, at least one of us is going to lose,” Biana points out. “And even if we both get the lowest ratings in the entire show, so what? We don’t need the money.”
“But-” Fitz waves his hands in the air. “We’re going to be- people are going to be watching us. What happens if we fuck up?”
Oh. Of course that’s what he’s worried about. Fitz has always, always been worried about public appearances. Biana sets the water on the stove and moves over to him, leaning against the opposite counter.
“Bro. Man. My dude.” She says seriously. Fitz purses his lips in a way that makes it clear he’s hiding a smile. “Fitz, we’re going to be fine. No one’s going to be judging how we do in this competition.”
“Sorry, do you hear yourself?”
“Okay, fair, but you know what I mean. Losing this contest isn’t going to wreck our business. If we can strike up enough of a friendship with whoever does win, we could even stand to grow.”
Fitz stares at her. Biana stares back. The tomato sauce starts to bubble.
“Fine,” Fitz finally says. “Do we have any veggie meatballs?”
-/-
December 13, 2020.
The Good Place Bakery
Middlebury, Vermont.
Dex drops the cookie dough onto the flour-covered counter, smacking it with what’s probably more force than necessary. It holds up, though, and he cuts out two entire trays of tiny snowmen and stars before his co-owner arrives in a blaze of glory.
“Guess who’s got a date this weekend!” Keefe sings, dumping his coat on a hook and pushing himself up on the counter. He gets a good look at Dex’s face and frowns. “Whoa, who bruleed your creme?”
“That doesn’t even make sense,” Dex rolls his eyes, “and everything’s fine. What poor guy did you pick up now?”
“His name’s Nathan and he’s beautiful,” Keefe sighs. “But don’t try to change the subject. Why do you have your grumpy face on?”
Dex grabs the letter from where he threw it across the room half an hour ago and hands it to the other man. Keefe skims it.
“You have been invited onto Netflix’s Happy Holiday Bake-Off,” he reads. He glances up at Dex. “Okay… didn’t we already know that? Soph’s been talking about the contest for weeks.”
“Yes, but I got more information this time around,” Dex says tightly. “And it turns out the Vacker siblings are also competing.”
“Oh.” Keefe sets the letter down and picks up one of the cookie sheets, sliding it into the oven. “Well, I think you can beat them.”
“Of course I can beat them,” Dex snaps. “That’s not the problem. The problem is-” he sweeps up the dough scraps and prepares to roll them out again. “The problem is they’re fake and I don’t like them.”
He’s aware he sounds like a child. It’s hard to describe, though, what makes him so frustrated about the Vacker siblings. The two of them just make it look so… easy, though. Born into fame and given a head start in front of everyone else. Dex had to take out three different loans to start this bakery, and even that was with Keefe’s huge trust fund.
“They’re just… fake,” he says lamely. “No one’s that perfect.”
“Mmm.” Keefe hums, then murmurs, “okay, but you know who is that perfect?”
Dex sighs. “Okay, tell me about Nathan.”
Keefe is halfway through the story of how they met- at the library, apparently, because that’s widely known to be the most romantic spot in town- when Amy shoves through the doors and steals an unbaked cookie.
“Morning,” she grins around a mouthful of crumbs. Dex raises an eyebrow and slides the cookie sheet towards Keefe before she can eat more.
“Morning,” he says. ���How’s Marty?”
“Still hates everyone but Sophie,” Amy shrugs. “Who isn’t here, obviously, because she and Mom are in Chicago setting up the Bake-Off.” She squints at Dex. “I can’t believe you got onto the show. There have to be rules against that.”
“Technically, that only applies if it’s direct relation. So, like, kids and parents.” Keefe grabs a piece of cookie dough. “Plus, even if Edaline did give Dex super high ratings on everything, he can’t win unless the other judges agree.”
“You’re going to get salmonella,” Dex tells the two of them. “But yeah, Keefe’s right. I’ll have to actually try if I want to win.”
“Do you?” Amy asks. Dex bites his lip, dusting some flour off his shirt.
“The money would be nice, I guess. But- I don’t know. We’ll get publicity either way, and that’s what’s important.”
“Attaboy,” Keefe gives him a thumbs-up. “You’re gonna win all the brownie points. Well, assuming they have you make brownies.”
“I-” Dex stares at him, shaking his head. “Why don’t you tell Amy about Nathan.”
-/-
December 17, 2020.
Some Fancy Hotel
Chicago, Illinois.
Biana glances around the room, light reflecting off the chandelier above and casting glittering patterns on the carpet and various couches scattered around the hall-like space. Four days have passed she broke the news to Fitz, and she’s wondering if this was a bad idea after all.
She’s not the first one here, thank goodness; there’s a tiny blond woman seated on a chair further down chatting to a man with silver-dyed bangs and a frizzy-haired woman tapping impatiently on her phone a few feet away. A door at the other end of the hall presumably leads further into the hotel.
A buzz in her pocket prompts her to retrieve her phone, and Biana opens it to find three texts from her brother.
ritzroy
Ok I made it to our room
[image.jpg]
There’s a paper crane on the kitchen counter is this some sort of message
me
yes.
they're trying to tell u that u r a paper crane
ritzroy
*you *are
I know you only do that to annoy me.
me
<3
now get down here i feel awkward standing all by myself
ritzroy
Have you tried talking to people?
me
fuck you
Sighing a bit, she plops down on a couch half-obscured by a large plant. Someone coughs from where they’re sitting next to her and Biana turns around to apologize.
“Hi,” says Sophie Foster.
Biana stares. The woman is about half an inch shorter than her, blond hair tucked back into a ponytail and white blouse slightly wrinkled. Biana’s seen this face on television upwards of a hundred times- the award-winning chef daughter of Grady and Edaline Ruewen attracts attention, after all- but never quite like this, with eyebrows furrowed and mouth tilted a little to the side.
“Hey,” Biana says about a minute too late. “Hey, sorry, I didn’t know there was someone sitting here.”
“No problem,” Sophie assures her. “You’re Biana Vacker, right?”
“Uh, yeah,” Biana nods, slightly stunned that Sophie Elizabeth Foster knows her name. “You’re- Sophie Foster.”
“That’s me,” Sophie says, smiling a little. “You ready for the competition?”
“Definitely,” Biana responds. “I mean, I don’t celebrate Christmas, but I watched the Holiday Bake-Off last year, and it seems like it’s super fun? And it’ll be cool to see what other people make too.”
“Yeah.” Silence falls over the two of them, and Biana cringes inwardly. This is the worst possible thing. Where on earth is her brother?
Searching for something to say, Biana opens her mouth. “Um-”
“Huh?” Sophie turns a little more towards her, eyes fixed on Biana’s face. Biana swallows a little.
“Uh, I was actually really nervous when I noticed I was sitting next to you. I’m kind of a huge fan.”
Sophie blinks. “You’re kidding.”
“No?”
“When I found out you were going to be competing, I literally asked my mom if she could get me on the show because I wanted to meet you so bad.”
Biana’s staring again. “Oh.”
Sophie’s phone buzzes and she pulls it out, tapping the screen. Biana tilts her head a little in confusion.
“Gotta go,” Sophie says with an apologetic smile. She stands up and starts towards the door, turning back to say one last thing before she leaves.
“You’re even prettier in person.”
When Fitz shows up two minutes later, Biana’s still staring wide-eyed at the place where Sophie was just standing. Her brother flops down onto the couch next to her and raises an eyebrow.
“What happened?”
“Nothing,” Biana shakes her head. “Nothing. I’m fine.”
“Well, I dropped the bags off. The room’s nice,” Fitz offers. “Oh, and Mom says we should video chat tonight. She wants the tea.”
Biana blinks. “The… tea.”
“Her words, not mine.”
“Yeah, I think I could tell. What-”
“Hello, everyone!” The door at the end of the hall swings open and a smiling red-haired woman steps out, followed by two others. “Sorry to keep you waiting. I’m Edaline Ruewen, from Vermont. I’ll be one of the judges next week. We’re all gonna go around and introduce ourselves, I’ll outline a schedule, and then y’all will be free to go. Cadence?”
“Good afternoon,” a tall dark-skinned woman greets. “I’m Cadence Talle, food journalist for the LA Times. I’ll be another one of your judges, along with-”
“Bronte.” The third man interrupts. He raises an eyebrow at the faces waiting for him to go on. “Well?”
“Looks like someone’s judging us already,” Fitz whispers. Biana muffles a laugh in her coat sleeve as the blond woman from before speaks up.
“Hi, I’m Marella Redek. I’m a pastry chef over in Portland.”
“Tam Song. I do the baking for a restaurant here in the city.”
People introduce themselves quickly, names flashing by in quick succession- Maruca Chebota, Jensi Babblos, Stina Heks.
“I’m Biana Vacker,” Biana says when it’s her turn. “My brother and I co-manage a couple bakeries across the country.”
Fitz raises his hand. “I’m her brother.”
“Dex Dizznee,” says the last competitor, a strawberry-blond man seated on the arm of a couch. “I have a bakery up in Middlebury.”
“Wait, The Good Place?” Fitz leans forward. “I made your chocolate cream pie recipe once. It’s fantastic.”
Dex blinks, face finally settling in an expression that reminds Biana of some of the people at the huge dinner parties her dad used to throw- carefully, delicately concealed disdain. She wonders what Fitz has done to warrant that look.
“Oh, that’s cool,” Dex says calmly. “Chocolate cream is one of my co-owner’s favorites, actually.”
Fitz nods. “Neat.”
Edaline smiles at them, clapping her hands for attention. “All right! Let’s go over the schedule, then. The first round is on Saturday, and the last one is next Wednesday. You’ll be expected to arrive at the kitchens by eleven am…”
“What’s up with him?” Biana whispers. Fitz raises one shoulder in a tiny shrug.
“I don’t know, but he doesn’t seem to like me very much.”
There’s no way Dex can hear them- he’s nearly fifteen feet away and Edaline’s voice carries throughout the entire hall. Still, he’s staring at Fitz when Biana glances at him, and there’s molten caramel in his gaze.
-/-
December 17, 2020.
Some Fancy Room In Some Fancy Hotel
Chicago, Illinois.
“And then he just went, ‘Neat.’ Neat? Like, what the fuck?”
“Dude, you know I love you, but don’t you think you’re making a bit of a big deal out of this? He just complimented the bakery.”
Dex heaves a sigh, flopping onto his hotel bed and staring up at the light fixture. It’s probably trendy, with all those boxes or whatever, but Dex can’t really tell. This is why he’s a baker.
“I know, I know. He just- gets under my skin. I’ve been pissed all day.”
“Funny,” Keefe says, and Dex can just hear him smiling. “I thought you had more of a problem with the Vackers as a whole than you did with Fitz. Or is he just too attractive to be anything but your singular arch-nemesis?”
“Enemies to lovers speedrun,” Amy calls in the background and Keefe laughs. He’s probably having dinner with Grady and Amy tonight like they typically do once a month. Normally, Dex, Sophie and Edaline are there too.
Dex’s family is weirdly spread across the country- Grady and Edaline live an hour away, Rex and Bex are somehow both coexisting at Seattle University while Lex stays closer to home back in Michigan, and Sophie and Amy split their time between Middlebury and their apartment in San Francisco. They do their best to stay in touch, though, even with the bakery’s odd hours and the Ruewen’s constant media appearances.
“So how’s the hotel?” Keefe asks. Dex shrugs.
“It’s a hotel. My room has a little kitchen, which is nice, and there’s, like, a bigger community pantry-slash-kitchen down the hall. It feels like college.”
“College is worse, actually,” Amy says. Dex snorts.
“You say that like I haven’t been to college.”
“Dude, we met in college,” Keefe points out, “and you did not get the full college experience. You just, like, baked 23/7 and then miraculously passed all your classes with the last hour.”
“Yes,” Dex says over the sound of Amy’s cackling. “Yes, that is exactly what I did. You’re completely right.”
“I know,” Keefe says. “I’m always right. I have, never, ever done anything wrong.”
“You called me this morning to freak out over your date outfit for a date that’s three days away, but go off I guess.” Amy deadpans.
“Fuck you-” The sounds of a small scuffle come through the speakers and Dex rolls his eyes.
“I’m going to sleep,” he calls. “See you guys in a week.”
“Good luck!” Amy calls, and Dex hangs up.
-/-
December 19, 2020.
Netflix’s Test Kitchen
Chicago, Illinois.
Biana tucks one last strand of hair back into her braid and glances over at the imposing black camera standing next to her station. There are ones just like it scattered around the entire room, fluorescent overhead lights reflected off their shiny exteriors. It’ll be weird trying to bake with someone recording her the whole time, but she can take it.
“Good morning, everyone!” Edaline calls, sweeping out to the judges bench with Cadence and Bronte close on her heels. There’s some sort of sheet-covered circle on the wall behind them. “I hope y’all are ready to bake!”
Everyone cheers and Edaline throws her head back, laughing a laugh with just enough snort in it to sound real. Biana’s reminded suddenly of her own mother; Edaline has the same sort of tough core and caring nature covered by a thin layer of plastic for the cameras. She wonders if Sophie is the same.
“And without further ado,” Edaline says. Biana snaps her attention back, hoping she hasn’t missed anything important. “Today’s challenge is…”
Bronte tugs on the fabric and it falls away to reveal a casino-style roulette wheel. If Biana squints, she can see words written on each colored section; CHOCOLATE and RASPBERRY and ALMOND.
“Cookies,” he announces.
Cadence sweeps her gaze over all of them. “Spin the wheel twice to find out what ingredients you need to include, and then you’ll have forty-five minutes to bake. Understood?”
Biana nods, glancing at the camera out of the corner of her eye and rearranging her face into something a bit more excited. She should probably start thinking about what to say in the post-baking interview.
Fitz is the first to spin the wheel, and he gets COCONUT and STRAWBERRY. He looks a little confused but smiles, media persona still firmly in place.
Biana gets GINGER and CHOCOLATE, returning to her station with a wide smile. This recipe is one she created with Livvy- they were home alone while Della and Fitz went out to a show and decided to try the most difficult food combinations they could think of.
Honey-covered crickets were surprisingly delicious. Hot sauce mixed with Gatorade was not.
(I knew what I was going to do immediately, she tells the cameras afterward. It’s a family favorite; chocolate-ginger crinkle cookies.)
She retrieves a packet of candied ginger and grabs two bags of chocolate chips, dumping one bag in a saucepan and starting to melt them. A few feet away, Dex Dizznee stares at his ingredients- ALMOND and ANISE, a fairly simple combination- before turning away towards the ingredients. If Biana had to hazard a guess, she’d say he’s making biscotti.
(Biscotti’s probably too obvious for almonds, Dex shrugs later, but my friend Keefe and I perfected an almond-anise biscotti a while back and I figured, why waste what little time I had on something new?)
Once she gets started, it’s easy to just focus on the recipe. She’s not like Fitz; baking’s not the be-all end-all stress reliever it is for him, but there’s definitely something comforting about the familiar motions. Before she knows it, she’s pulling the sheets out of the oven and arranging the prettiest ones on a plate for the judges to try.
Marella Redek goes up first, showing off her caramel-pecan shortbread with a polite smile.
(I’m just glad I didn’t get one of those crazy combinations, she says with a sigh of relief.)
Then Fitz, who’s managed to make tiny sandwich cookies filled with strawberry jam and dusted with coconut in forty-five minutes. He fidgets with his hands as the judges taste them.
(I was really worried when I got my ingredients. I’m so relieved they turned out okay.)
Biana’s cookies go over well, Cadence nodding and reaching for another one. Finally Dex Dizznee steps up.
“Almond-anise biscotti,” he says with a small smile. The judges all bite into the cookies at the same time and smile.
“Delicious,” Bronte says. Dex grins and steps back to his station.
Fifteen minutes later, the contestants stand in front of the judges bench in a straight line, worried eyes and tapping feet all the way down.
“All your cookies were exquisite,” Edaline says. “But one of you made a fantastic first impression.”
Cadence offers the group a tiny, sideways smile. “Dexter Dizznee,” she says. “You are today’s winner.”
There’s a round of applause and Dex’s cheeks go a little bit red.
“Thank you,” he says.
(I won! It’s only the first round, of course, but I’m still proud to have started off on the right foot.)
“Hey,” Biana nudges her brother’s shoulder as they trail out of the room for individual interviews.“That wasn’t too bad, huh?”
“No,” Fitz tilts his head and glances back at the still-smiling Dex. “I guess it wasn’t.”
(I don’t think I’m too sad about losing this round. Dex’s cookies looked absolutely delicious, anyway.)
Biana’s phone buzzes on the way back to her room. She pulls it out to see two messages from an unknown number.
415-623-7868
hi!! sorry if this is mega creepy but it was super cool to meet you the other day and i’d love to talk more sometime
this is sophie foster btw
“Holy shit,” Biana whispers. Her brother turns around with a questioning glance but she waves him off. “Nothing, I’m fine.” She’s pretty sure she’s grinning at her phone screen with all the force of a thousand suns. “I’m totally fine.”
(Tomorrow, we try again.)
-/-
December 20, 2020.
Netflix’s Test Kitchen
Chicago, Illinois.
Buoyed by the previous day’s success and an especially good breakfast buffet (he is not immune to chocolate-chip pancakes, no matter what he might claim), Dex practically floats into the kitchen the next day. His mood isn’t even brought down by Bronte’s lackluster announcement that the second challenge is simply Snowflakes. The bakery’s meringues are a town favorite for a reason, after all, and that reason is that they’re fucking good.
He does get annoyed, though, by the man leaning against a counter a few feet away as he pipes the meringue. Fitz Vacker is tapping his fingers against the marble, watching the ice cream machine with a calm sort of fixation. Dex huffs and accidentally pipes too much meringue on the baking sheet.
“Do you mind?” He grumbles under his breath. Fitz’s head snaps up.
“Sorry,” he says, slight accent curling around his words. It’s not a British accent or really any sort Dex can discern, and that just makes him more frustrated. “Am I in your way?”
“No,” Dex says as politely as he can. He’s well aware of the cameras standing a few feet away. “No, you're fine.”
Fitz nods and tilts his head towards the meringues, apparently taking Dex’s grudging silence as an invitation. “Those look pretty good.”
“Thank you,” Dex says shortly, letting out an annoyed sigh internally when Fitz doesn’t budge. “You’re making ice cream?”
“Heh, yeah. I couldn’t really think of anything else, so.” Fitz shrugs. “Ice cream bars.” He scratches the back of his neck, looking a little embarrassed. “At least it’s cold, right? Like snow.”
This startles a laugh out of Dex. “Yeah, like snow.” He leans back a little to give the now-completed snowflakes a once-over. “What do you think?”
“They look great!” Fitz enthuses, jumping a bit when the ice cream machine lets out a long beep. “Oh, looks like that’s me. I should go. Nice to meet you!”
And then he’s off to his own station, bowl of ice cream clutched tightly in one hand. Dex allows himself thirty seconds of staring into the camera like he’s on The Office before he sighs and slides the meringues into the oven.
What on earth was that.
He bumps into Sophie on his way out of the room after interviews. Biana Vacker’s chocolate-pecan-bark snowflakes won today; unsurprising, since they looked almost real- and he kind of just wants to go back to his room and sleep for a month. His cousin, however, seems to have other ideas.
“Quick,” she says, grabbing his arm. Her phone is in her other hand, screen lighting up with a message. “How much would my mom kill me if I went on a date with one of the Bake-Off contestants?”
“Um,” Dex blinks. “I’m going to need some more information?”
“Okay, so I met Biana Vacker the other day, and I might have gotten her number from the contestant files we have? And then texted her? For like five hours last night? And I might have asked her out and she might have said yes?” Sophie tugs at her eyelashes. “Please help me, I have no idea what the fuck I’m going to do.”
“You’re going on a date with Biana Vacker,” Dex confirms. “Why?”
“Because she’s smart, and pretty, and incredibly funny, and because I don’t have some weird hate-obsession with her.”
“I don’t-”
“Yes, you do. Seriously, how much is Mom going to murder me for this?”
“How much is Mom going to murder you for what?”
Edaline’s standing a few feet away, arms folded across her chest and eyebrows raised. Sophie’s eyes go wide, but she sighs as if already giving up.
Dex gets it. Edaline is scary when she wants to be.
“Is it illegal and-slash-or nepotism if I go on a date with Biana Vacker tomorrow night?”
Edaline blinks. “Probably not? As long as you can confirm that she’s not using you to get further in the contest.” She shrugs. “I could talk to Cadence and Bronte about it, but they were all right with Dex being on the show, so.”
“Wait, really?” Sophie grins and throws her arms around her mother. “This is the best. Thanks, Mom! I’m gonna go text her.”
She takes off down the hall, typing frantically. Edaline watches her go with a fond smile.
“It’s incredibly weird to see her this old,” She says to Dex. “I still think of her as twelve, honestly.”
Dex snorts. “Yeah.”
“So,” Edaline cocks her head, looking at him with the same I’m going to ask you a question and we both know what the right answer is look that Dex’s own mother has. “I saw you talking to Fitz Vacker earlier. Making friends?”
“No.” Dex says immediately. Then he rolls his eyes. “He’s not as bad as I was expecting, though.”
“What were you expecting?”
“I don’t know, like, posh and rich and British or whatever they are. But he’s actually a decent person or whatever.”
“Or whatever.” Edaline laughs. “Well, I’m glad you’re having fun either way. I’ve got to get to a meeting, but I’ll see you later, all right? Say hi to Keefe for me.”
Dex nods and heads back to his room.
He really needs to sleep.
-/-
December 21, 2020.
The Art Institute of Chicago
Chicago, Illinois.
“Here we are,” Sophie says as they push through museum security and enter the clearly-marked Thorne Rooms. Biana glances at the art curiously; the exhibit is made up of tiny glass windows set into low walls all around. She peers into one and lets out a tiny gasp.
“Oh.”
It’s a tiny room in there; chairs and sofas all with perfectly embroidered cushions as small as Biana’s thumb. Through minuscule doors in the back, Biana glimpses a painted background and a balcony. It’s the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen.
Sophie snorts behind her, and Biana realizes she said that last bit out loud. “Right? It’s all real, too. Took Narcissa Thorne and her craftsmen eight years.”
“Wow.”
“I used to come here all the time,” Sophie says, stepping forward and tracing one finger over the glass. “Whenever we were in town. I wished I could live in some of these rooms.” She glances back at Biana and gives a little self-deprecating smile. “Pretty stupid, probably.”
“No, it’s not,” Biana shakes her head. “I get it. It would be nice to escape for a little bit, especially to a place that looks like that.” She tilts her head at the room. Sophie laughs.
“I’ll bet it gets really dusty, though. And that chair seems highly uncomfortable.”
They move throughout the whole exhibit, making low comments to each other every time they see a particularly amazing piece of furniture or a fancy candlestick. Biana finds herself relaxing more and more- Sophie is smart, and funny, and keeps shooting her little smiles that make Biana’s knees weak.
That day’s competition had been the hardest yet. Each contestant had had to make a dessert based around a Christmas carol; a specific, judge-assigned Christmas carol. It was, for lack of a better term, absolute shit.
Biana had gotten Santa Claus Is Coming To Town- not the worst, considering the circumstances, and at least she knew it- and had had to figure out how to map the route of an overweight stalker on baked goods.
She hadn’t won; that honor had gone to Maruca Chebota’s fondant replica of a sleigh for Over The River And Through The Woods. (Biana is pretty sure that song is actually a Thanksgiving song, but she wasn’t going to contradict.) Still, Biana’s happy, content as they leave the museum and move down to an Italian restaurant a few blocks away. Smiling as Sophie’s hand brushes against hers.
They get settled in a little corner near a window, knees bumping under the table. The room is dim, lit by one chandelier in the middle and candles on every table. It’s warm, something delicious wafting through the air.
Sophie leans forward to grab a menu, hair lit golden in the candlelight, and Biana revises her earlier statement. The Thorne Rooms aren’t the most beautiful things she’s ever seen. This woman is.
“Everything okay?” Sophie asks. Biana realizes she’s been staring and gives her a quick nod.
“Yeah, no. Everything���s perfect.” She glances down at the tablecloth, sees Sophie fidgeting with the edge of her napkin. “Are you all right?”
“I, uh,” Sophie tugs at one of her eyelashes. “I just wanted to say that I don’t really tend to talk to my mom about the competition? So, like, if you’re just trying to get an edge or something-”
“No!” Biana shakes her head, reaching forward to grab the other woman’s hand. “No, no no. Absolutely not. This is like, the opposite of that.”
“Pretty sure the opposite of that would be divorcing me to lose the Bake-Off,” Sophie says, but she’s smiling. Biana smiles back.
“Well, I don’t want to do that either.”
“What do you want to do?”
Biana shrugs. “I don’t know. This is pretty nice. I like spending time with you.”
Sophie blushes and tightens her grip on Biana’s hand. “I-”
“Pardon me.” There’s a waiter standing next to their table, notepad in hand. He offers them an awkward smile. “Are you ready to order?”
“Right!” Biana says at the same time as Sophie’s “Yes! For sure! Just give me a second!”. They grin at each other and look back down at the menus.
“Thank you,” Sophie murmurs after they’ve ordered. Biana doesn’t have to ask what for.
“Of course.”
(Biana leans down to kiss her barely an hour later. Sophie smiles against her lips and tugs her in closer.)
(Biana doesn’t get back to her hotel that night.)
-/-
December 22, 2020.
Some Fancy Hotel
Chicago, Illinois.
Dex can’t sleep.
There’s no particular reason why, no loud party down the street or flashing lights outside his window. He just can’t sleep, which is especially frustrating when he glances at the clock and finds it’s one AM. Tomorrow- or, today, really- is event four, and if he wants to make a good impression, he’d better do it on more than three hours of sleep.
Heaving a sigh, he flops himself out of bed and flips on the light switch. As long as he’s awake, he might as well read or something.
A loud crash sounds from down the hall. Dex blinks and grabs his sneakers, opening his door and peeking out. No one’s in sight, but rustling noises are coming from the communal kitchen a few doors away. Dex decides that sleep is for the weak and pads down to investigate.
Fitz Vacker is standing in the middle of the kitchen, aggressively stirring a bowl of what looks like cookie dough and frowning. There’s a flour-dusted cookbook on the counter.
“Um.” Dex coughs a little. Fitz looks up from the cookie dough and turns toward him. He's wearing a sweatshirt thrown over a pair of what looks like Walgreens-brand pajamas. Dex is a little surprised that a Vacker would wear something that shitty.
“Sorry,” he says in his annoyingly perfect accent. “Did I wake you up?”
“Nah, you’re fine. Why are you still awake?”
Fitz shrugs. “Couldn’t fall asleep. You?”
“Same.” Dex moves over and peers into the bowl. “Sugar cookies?”
“They’re a classic Christmas cookie, right?” Fitz looks at him. Dex blinks. “No, really, I’m asking. I don’t celebrate Christmas.”
This startles a laugh out of Dex. “Yeah, they’re a classic. My aunt used to make them all the time in December. I’d come home from school and she’d be, like, chilling on our couch with three different kinds of cookies.” He shakes his head. “I didn’t even realize she was famous until I was eight. She was just Aunt Eda.”
“My mom used to have to do all these photo shoots? With baked goods and shit? And she’d bring me and Bi along because our daycare didn’t go that late so we’d just be hanging out around this camera equipment and doing our best not to break anything.” Fitz looks down and stirs the cookie dough a bit more. “Bi always says we grew up with a camera in our faces, so much that we never learned to be normal. She’s more right than I’d like to think.”
Dex doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t have anything to say; he’s always assumed, like so many other people, that the spotlight on the Vackers was effortless and encouraged. Life seemed so easy for them.
Of course it does, Dex reminds himself. Life always looks easy when you’re the one looking at it.
“Sorry,” Fitz grabs the bowl and turns away, reaching up into a cabinet for some powdered sugar. “I get… honest when I’m tired.”
“Yeah, well, I get grumpy, so you’re still better off.” Dex grabs a baking sheet out of where they’re being stored in the oven, since the cookies look about ready to be rolled out. “You’re fine, though. No cameras here.”
You’re not being judged here, he means. I’d like to get to know you.
This must translate at least a little, because Fitz gives him a small smile and dumps the dough out onto the counter.
“Help me? I think the cookie cutters are in the bottom left drawer.”
“Got it.” Dex grabs a tiny metal snowman and cuts out a piece of dough, laying it flat on the metal sheet. He’s reminded suddenly of going through the same motions back home, with Keefe and Amy arguing good-naturedly over his head.
There’s a different air in the kitchen right now. It’s quieter, slower, dark-dark-chocolatey; something bitter and sweet and smooth all at the same time.
“Are you worried about the competition?” He asks. Fitz blinks, lifting another three cookies onto the sheet before answering.
“I don’t think so. I was, before, but once I got here…” he gives an expansive shrug. “It’s just baking. Baking calms me down.”
“Hence the cookies at one AM,” Dex notes. Fitz laughs.
“Hence the stress-baking cookies at one AM,” he agrees. “I don’t even think I was stressed about the contest, just-” he waves a hand in the air. “Just stressed in general.”
“I get that.” Dex presses a few buttons on the oven and tilts his head toward the table a few feet away. They’ll need to wait for the oven to heat up before they put the cookies in. “I was pretty scared of fucking up at first, but, I mean, it’s a baking competition. Everyone’s gonna forget the butter at some point.”
Fitz squints at him. “I can’t tell if ‘forget the butter’ is an expression I’m unaware of, or if you actually did that and I just didn’t hear about it.”
“Maruca from Cali did that, actually. I have more style, at least- I forgot the eggs.”
“My friend’s cat got into my kitchen once,” Fitz says seriously. “Not during this contest, but when I was making her daughter’s birthday cake. There was hair everywhere. It was… a cat-astrophe.”
Both of them are silent for almost a full minute, just staring at each other, before Dex breaks down.
“That was terrible,” he wheezes, trying to stop laughing. Fitz grins.
“I know, I’m embarrassed of myself.”
“You should be.”
The oven beeps and they both startle, turning toward it. Fitz retrieves an oven mitt and slides the cookies into the oven. Dex closes the door and stands back up, suddenly realizing how close they’re standing.
“You should try to sleep,” Fitz says quietly. “It’s late.”
Dex nods slightly but doesn’t move. There’s a tiny bit of flour on Fitz’s cheekbone. He doesn’t know why he notices it.
They seem to stand there forever, just looking at each other. Then, suddenly, Fitz turns away and looks over the cookbook again.
“I should sleep,” Dex says. Fitz nods, face shadowed in the dim lights. Dex turns away and heads back to his room.
What the fuck was that.
-/-
December 23, 2020.
Netflix’s Test Kitchen
Chicago, Illinois.
“Dex Dizznee. Biana Vacker. Maruca Chebota. And Tam Song.” Bronte reads out the names, then looks down at the contestants. “The four of you have won the past events, so you’ll get an extra prize today.”
“As you all know, today is the last event!” Edaline says cheerfully. “All eight of you have made some truly fantastic desserts in the past week, but only one person can win and today’s your final chance to really wow the judges. So, Event Five is…”
Cadence gestures toward the table up front, which holds two candy-covered houses. “Gingerbread houses,” she says. “You have four hours to bake, assemble, and decorate a gingerbread house with your partner.”
“Yep, you’ll be working in pairs for this one,” Edaline says when the murmurs start up. “And our four previous winners get to choose who they’re working with.” She smiles at Biana. “Although, Miss Vacker, I’m afraid you can’t work with your brother.”
Biana laughs, turning and holding out a hand to Marella Redek instead. “All right. How about it, partner?”
Marella shrugs and takes her hand. Edaline gestures to Dex.
He glances over the seven remaining contestants. Jensi Babblos seems nice- he probably wouldn’t be too bad to work with. Or maybe he can pair up with another winner and ask Maruca?
Then Fitz catches his eye and Dex remembers the previous day, cutting out cookies in the early-early morning light. It’s not really a choice after that.
“Fitz,” he decides, and the man strides over to stand next to him.
The other two pairs find each other, Edaline lays out the final rules, and then she shouts go! and they’re off.
“Hand me the cinnamon?” Dex asks. Fitz drops it into his hand and Dex dumps a tablespoon in the bowl, starting up the mixer. “Okay, and we should get the icing started so it has time to cool-”
“Already done,” Fitz says. He points to a bowl of fluffy white icing on the counter a foot away. “We should probably-”
“Figure out the decorations, yeah. You wanna-”
“Sketch something?”
They grin at each other and Dex pours the gingerbread batter into a pan. “Perfect,” he says. The oven lets out a tiny beep when he closes it.
The hours pass quickly, in a blur of candy and icing. They cover the sides of the house in dark red modeling chocolate and drag a toothpick through them for the individual bricks, carefully shape a vanilla wafer chimney, build a candy-cane fence. The actual construction of the house is tricky- Dex has to hold the walls up while Fitz pipes the icing and then keeps holding them until it sets. They get through it with only one roof collapse, though, and the final house looks pretty good. Fitz glues down three peppermints to make a path in front of the door, Dex attaches tiny sugar cookie trees to the ground, and they’re done with two minutes to spare.
“Wait, no. Hang on.” Fitz rummages through the mess they’ve made at their station, skirting a camera and grabbing the half-empty container of powdered sugar. He dumps it into a sieve.
“Snow,” he and Dex say in unison. Fitz laughs and shakes the sieve over their presentation board, covering the whole thing in a fine layer of powder.
“Perfect,” Dex says just as the timer goes off. “Let’s win this thing.”
-/-
December 23, 2020.
Netflix’s Test Kitchen
Chicago, Illinois.
Cameras flash as they zero in on Dex and Fitz’s gingerbread house, presumably taking the shots that will go along with Edaline’s and the winner of Event Five is Fitz Vacker and Dex Dizznee! announcement in the actual show. Biana’s staring at the opposite wall, though; if she looks towards the recording equipment, she doubts she’ll be able to hide how nervous she is.
The competition doesn’t matter in the long run, but it would be really, really cool to win.
“Now,” Edaline says after the cameras have returned to their original places. “You’ve all shown amazing talent in the past few days. Frankly, all three of us were just blown away at some of the things you created. But one of you managed to wow us at every turn, showcasing your art as well as your baking skills. And that person is…”
Next to Biana, her brother stares at the ground. A few feet away, Dex is twisting his hands together, expression schooled into something just left of panic. Biana takes a deep breath.
“Maruca Chebota!”
The room is silent, and then everyone breaks into applause. Maruca is smiling wide, tears glittering at the corners of her eyes.
“Thank you so much,” she manages before getting crushed into a giant group hug.
Later, Biana stands in the front hall of the hotel with her suitcase by her side. She and Fitz are flying home tonight, and she can’t wait to get back to her own apartment.
“It’ll be nice,” Sophie agrees. “I’m heading straight out to Michigan to see my aunt and uncle for Christmas.”
Fitz appears in the doorway, talking animatedly with someone out of sight. Biana takes the opportunity to give Sophie one last kiss.
“I’ll text you?” She asks. Sophie nods.
Fitz strolls up, Dex by his side. They’ve finished their conversation, apparently, and are now just looking at each other. Biana coughs.
“We should get to the airport.” She reminds him. Fitz jumps.
“Right! Yes, of course. Um-” he glances back at Dex and then sweeps the shorter man into a hug. Dex’s eyes widen but he hugs back.
“It was so nice to meet you,” Biana tells Dex when the two break apart. “Have a nice Christmas.”
“You too,” Dex says, and then he and Sophie are gone. Biana elbows her brother.
“Dexter Dizznee, huh?” She asks. Fitz glares at her.
“Shut up.”
-/-
December 28, 2020.
Dizznee Family Household
Detroit, Michigan.
Christmas is low-key. Or, it’s as low-key as Christmas with the Dizznees can be, anyway. Bex manages to get lights on the roof, Rex brings his partners to dinner and the three of them break into an impromptu performance of Deck The Halls, and Lex sets up an elaborate present-wrapping station in the living room that seems to involve heinous amounts of tape.
Edaline disappears upstairs a few times to work out all the details of the show, but she has enough time to help Kesler baste a turkey and kick all of their collective asses at foosball alongside Juline. Grady makes chocolate-covered cherries and Amy eats too many of them and Sophie laughs herself to tears when her sister trips over an armchair in her post-chocolate haze. They smile and exchange terrible presents and sing carols and it’s all normal, as normal as anything gets these days.
So maybe they’re not low-key. Maybe it’s just Dex who’s low, Dex who still feels like something’s missing.
He lost the competition. He’s not mad about it; losing by a few stray points isn’t nearly as bad as it could have been. And the publicity he’ll gain from just being on television is definitely worth it.
None of that explains his mood, though, and Dex is starting to wonder what on earth he isn’t seeing.
“Hey,” Sophie says, wandering into the den and flopping down on the couch alongside him. Dex has been absentmindedly fiddling with a Rubik's cube for the past ten minutes, and he only now realizes it’s solved. “What’s up?”
“Hmm?”
“You’ve been mopey all day,” she says. “All week, actually. Which is weird, because you’re not normally mopey.”
“You- noticed?”
Sophie gives him an affronted look. “I do pay attention.”
“I’m not mopey,” Dex protests.
“So staring into the distance and frowning is just a hobby?” Sophie sighs, plucking the Rubik’s cube out of his hands and scooting closer. “Look, I’m not trying to shame you. I just want to know what’s going on.”
Dex stares at her, then glances down at his hands. “I… who do you keep texting?”
The question catches Sophie off guard. “What?”
“You’ve been glancing down at your phone and smiling all through vacation,” he says. “Who are you texting?”
Sophie’s cheeks flush pink. “Um. Biana?”
“Oh.” Right. Biana Vacker. Dex had almost forgotten about her, in all the chaos of the last day of competition and then heading back home. Sophie didn’t, apparently. “That’s great. I’m happy for you.”
“You sound like a greeting card.”
“Fuck you, I’m trying.”
Sophie rolls her eyes, but she’s smiling. “Thanks, though. I really like her.” She tilts her head. “Now, back to your moping.”
“No.”
“Hmm.” Sophie says. She fixes him with a look that says I can see into your soul and there is some weird stuff in there. “Dex. What happened when you teamed up with Fitz Vacker in the last round of the contest?”
“Um.” Dex blinks. “We… made a gingerbread house?”
“And after that?” Sophie raises an eyebrow. “Dex, I know you. You’ve hated the Vackers possibly since you were born. How on Earth did you go from that to hugging Fitz when you said goodbye to him?”
“I-”
There have been a lot of things recently, Dex reflects, that he’s been unable to explain, even to himself. Why he disliked the Vackers in the first place. Why he’s been empty the past few days.
Why he and Fitz are sort of on decent terms now.
But things start to dig themselves out of his memory; an out-of-the-blue compliment about his pies, a night spent in a terrible hotel kitchen unable to sleep, a grin and a tiny peppermint swirl and fake sugar snow on a rooftop.
“Oh.” Dex’s eyes go wide. “Oh, shit.”
“What?” Sophie asks. As if on cue, three strawberry-blond heads poke into the doorway. Dex groans.
“Do you hear that?” Rex asks, shit-eating grin on his face. Lex nods seriously.
“I believe it’s the sound of a local man realizing he’s been in love with Fitzroy Vacker this whole time.”
Bex gestures towards Dex as if she’s holding a microphone. “Tell me, sir, how does it feel to come to such a conclusion? Do you think your behavior towards Mr. Vacker will change after this?”
“Please leave,” Dex says flatly. Sophie squints at him.
“Wait, are you really-”
“I don’t know. Please make them leave.”
Sophie looks from him to the triplets, who give her matching smiles. She shakes her head and stands up.
“I don’t think I’m capable of doing that, honestly. I’m going to go text Bi.”
“Traitor!” Dex calls after her. The triplets flop down on the couch, garishly patterned Christmas sweaters clashing terribly with the blue cushions. Bex gives him an exaggerated I’m thinking look.
“Hmm,” she says. “You know, maybe Amy was onto something with all her ‘enemies to lovers speedrun’ stuff.”
“I’m leaving this family,” Dex mutters, shoving a pillow over his face. “I will go to Canada and buy a large house and never have to see any of you ever again.”
Rex raises his eyebrows. “Wow, you’d leave your boyfriend behind like that?”
“Nope! No, nope, not doing this.” Dex stands up and moves towards the door. Behind him, he hears at least one of his siblings fall off the couch.
“Seriously, though. What are you going to do?”
Dex turns back around. Rex and Bex are sprawled on the floor in a tangle of feet, but Lex is looking at Dex with a strangely sympathetic expression. He sighs.
“I don’t know.”
There’s a buzz in his pocket and Dex pulls his phone out as his siblings start to untangle themselves.
Fos-Boss
hey. wanna go to nyc?
-/-
December 31, 2020.
Biana Vacker’s Self-Proclaimed Trash Can Fire
New York City, New York.
“You’re doing it again.”
Fitz leans his head over the back of the couch and frowns at her. “Doing what?”
“Your whole woe is me, time to stare aimlessly at the wall thing.” Biana waves a hand towards her brother. “Stop that and help me cut the baklava.”
“This is… a lot of baklava for just the two of us,” Fitz says. “Are you sure you didn’t decide to throw another giant stupid New Years party again?”
“I promise there will be no giant New Years party,” Biana says. “I’ve invited two people over. That’s it.”
“But you refuse to tell me who those people are, which automatically makes me suspicious.”
As if on cue, the doorbell rings. Biana smiles at her brother and takes the knife from him.
“Why don’t you go find out?”
Fitz sighs and moves out into the hallway. Biana hears him swing the door open, and then- nothing.
She pushes the now-cut baklava onto a plate and leans her head out the doorway. Her brother is standing there, staring at a man with strawberry-blond hair. Sophie stands behind him, smiling awkwardly.
“Hello!” She says, directing the statement at Biana since her cousin is still locked in a staring contest with Fitz. “Happy New Year!”
“It’s not New Years yet,” Biana laughs, coming out of the doorway to grab Sophie’s coat and drop a quick kiss to her lips. “How was your drive?”
“Long,” Sophie says. “But I’ve had worse. And we had some decent pancakes, right?”
“Right,” Dex murmurs, still staring at Fitz. He shakes his head. “Yeah, they were pretty good. Happy New Year, by the way.”
“You too,” Fitz manages. Biana hides a laugh behind her sweater sleeve and grabs Dex’s arm.
“Hey, you wanna come help me open the champagne?”
“Sure, but-”
“We’ll be fine,” Fitz manages a bright grin. “I’m gonna show Sophie some of Bi’s elementary school pictures.”
“Fitzroy Avery Vacker, don’t you dare-”
Fitz laughs and Biana and Dex retreat back to the kitchen. Biana reaches for one of the bottles of champagne and turns towards the shorter man.
“I’m not going to give you a shovel talk,” she shrugs, “mainly because I think you already know I could murder you if you hurt him.”
“Yep,” Dex nods. He looks down. “But you don’t have to worry about giving me a shovel talk. It’s not like we’re dating.”
“No, you two have just been in love with each other for a ridiculously long amount of time.” The cork pops out of the champagne bottle and Sophie cheers from the other room. Biana grins at the stunned expression Dex is giving her. “Come on. Only an hour till midnight.”
They put the Times Square Ball Drop on at 11:30, watching as some band Biana vaguely recognizes but couldn’t name rocks out in front of the crowd. Sophie says that looks cold, and Biana says it’s always cold. That’s why I stay home, and Sophie snuggles a little closer to her. At the ten-minute mark, Dex and Fitz make some sort of telepathic agreement to go out and stand on the balcony.
“Hey,” Biana mutters as the lights onscreen get brighter. The countdown should start soon. “I’m so glad I met you.”
Sophie turns her face, so close their noses almost brush. “Me too,” she smiles. “But I’m even happier I get to do this.”
A hurricane could probably pass through the apartment right now without Biana noticing. Sophie's lips are soft, and Biana knows this woman will stick with her no matter what.
Numbers start to flash on the screen. Biana couldn’t care less about what they say.
-/-
December 31, 2020.
Fitz Vacker’s Plant-Covered Balcony
New York City, New York.
“The apartment’s Biana’s, technically,” Fitz says as they step out into the cold night air. “But she never uses the balcony and I needed a place to put my plants, so it’s mine now.”
“And you’re certainly using the space,” Dex notes. He can spot at least five different kinds of flowers out here, and that’s just with his non-existent plant knowledge.
Fitz laughs, loud and bright against the painted backdrop of the sky. There are only a few stars Dex can see, but the whole sky is a shade of midnight blue that makes up for the darkness.
“I am, yeah.” He leans on the railing for a moment, staring down at the world below, before turning back a bit. “How was your Christmas?”
“Good,” Dex says. “How was your… Hanukkah?”
“It ended before the contest started, but yeah, it was good” Fitz glances down at the street again and Dex goes to stand next to him. Minutes tick by, the two of them just watching cars pass by.
“I’m glad you’re here,” Fitz says finally. The words are soft, barely more than whispers, and Dex thinks for a moment that he imagined them. Then Fitz looks up and meets his eyes.
A cheer goes up from around the city, people everywhere shouting Ten!
“I’m glad too,” Dex says. Carefully, oh-so-slowly, he reaches up and cups the other man’s cheek. Fitz’s eyes flutter closed for just a moment.
Seven!
“The ball will drop soon,” he murmurs. “If you want to watch it.”
“I’m fine,” Dex smiles. “Unless- you want to?”
Five!
“Nah,” Fitz says, reaching up to touch Dex’s hand where it’s still on his face. “I think I can do without the spectacle for tonight.”
Three!
Dex nods, rocking forward just a little.
Two!
Fitz’s eyes are bright, and his breath is warm where it ghosts across Dex’s skin.
One!
They barely have to move in before their lips meet.
-/-
January 1, 2021.
Somewhere Over New York City.
Fireworks bloom into bursts of color against the dark sky.
#lynn rambles#my writing#kotlc#detz#sophiana#fitz vacker#biana vacker#sophie foster#dex dizznee#edaline ruewen
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