Sanmao’s “Stories of the Sahara”, 《撒哈拉的故事》, 沙漠中的饭店 Restaurant in the desert, Tâm Anh translated.
My husband, very unfortunately is a foreigner. Using words like these to mention own husband, I sound apparently anti-foreigner, however apparently language and customs of countries have big differences; because of these, our marriage life indeed also has a great deal of unbridgeable gaps.
At beginning when making decision to marry Jose, I clearly told him, we are not only from different countries, personalities are also different, if married in the future may quarrel, even fight. He replied: “I know your personality is not good, yet overall is a very kind person, quarrels or fights may occur, however we still need to get married.” Then, we after 7 years acquaintance, finally got married.
I am not a feminist, however I will never accept after marriage losing independent personality and spiritual freedom; therefore I again and again emphasized to Jose, after marriage I would still “do my own way”, otherwise we would not get married. To this, Jose said to me: “I indeed want you to ‘do your own way’, losing your personality and way of doing, then why I get married to you then!” Good! Words of great men, I was really relieved. Becoming wife of Jose, on language matters I surrendered to him. This poor foreigner, “人”[ meaning person ] and “入”[ meaning enter ] these two different Chinese characters I taught him how many times he still could not differentiate, I had no way but to speak his language, this matter I let it his way then. (However, in the future once having children, no matter what, children still have to learn Chinese, to this point he agreed. )
No fiddle-faddle, now be a wife, the first thing is right on doing kitchen. I have always hated housework, but in cooking I am nonetheless very interested, how many onions, how much meat, once cooked become a dish, I very much enjoy this kind of art.
My Mum in Taiwan, knowing I after getting married to Jose, because of his job, had to move to isolated wild Africa, was exceedingly heart-ached. However, because our little family income is all on Jose’s paycheck, I had no choice but to follow his job requirement, there was no leeway. After we got married and I started kitchen work, our family meals were all western dishes. Then air-packaged aid sent from home in Taiwan arrived, I received a great pile of vermicelli, sea-weeds, mushrooms, dried instant noodles, dried fried pork, all kinds of valuable ingredients, I was so glad, to add on female friends in Europe also sent canned soy sauce, my family-based “Chinese restaurant” is at no delay open, unfortunately customers there is only one who does not pay. (Later on, coming to our “restaurant”, there is, however, a long queue then! )
To be true, with ingredients Mum sent to us, to open a “Chinese restaurant”, it is not sufficient, but fortunately Jose has never been to Taiwan, he looked on to this vigorously established “big kitchen” of mine, also started to have confidence in my cooking.
The first course I made was “Vermicelli with chicken soup”.
Jose comes home from work always high voice yelling: “Meal be quickly ready please, I am hungry to death now!” In love with him for so many years, now every time coming home knowing just to yell meal be ready, not even a look on this wife, no worry this “yellow faced old wife” role [*translator's note: 黄脸婆 “Yellow faced old wife”phrase is used to describe a woman who has married for a long time. The (face) color indicates that she has aged with the burden of housework. Someone says, in ancient China, to cover the aging face, women misuse the cosmetics with lead and make their face getting yellow. The elder, more yellow. It's a negative term. Husbands use this term to describe their wife as love is fading out. Wives complain the houseworks and the relationship by calling themselves as "黄脸婆"] I do so well. The first course I made Vermicelli with chicken soup, he tasted a little of the soup then asked: “Yí, what’s this? Chinese spaghetti?”
“Your mother-in-law from thousands of miles away sent you spaghetti? Not spaghetti.”
“What is that then? I want more, very delicious.”
I used chopsticks to pick up a thread of vermicelli saying: “This is, called ‘Rain’.”
“Rain?” He was puzzled.
Above I already said, I am a free-spirited married woman, words naturally come according to my state on a whim, “This, is springtime the very first rain, falling on mountain top, be frozen one by one, wombed and brewed well on the mountain then be brought down to mountain foot bundle by bundle, be sold with rice wine for drink, not easy to buy ah!”
Jose was still puzzled, looked at me, then looked to study “rain” in the bowl, then he said: “You are making fool of me?”
I did not remark on this. “You want more or not?”
He replied: “You are the Queen of boast, I want more.” From then on, he often ate “spring rain”, till today still does not know what it is made from. Sometimes I think Jose is so unsmart, because of this feel a little disappointed.
The second time we ate vermicelli was when I made Sichuan dish “ants climbing a tree”, that is vermicelli put in the pot stirred-fried, then sprinkled with minced pork and sauce.
Jose came home from work was always hungry; he chewed a mouthful of vermicelli then, “What is this? Looks like white woolen yarn, also looks like plastic thread?”
“Both are not right, it is a kind of nylon fishing line you know, Chinese people has processed it to make it white and smooth.” I replied.
He again ate a mouthful of it, then smiled, saying: “Really, so many weird names, if we indeed open a restaurant, this dish can make big money, darling!” That day he ate a lot of nylon processed white lines.
The third time we ate vermicelli was when I made Chinese north-eastern region traditional “Chive pocket cake”, which is in fact fried pie, inside filled with vermicelli, spinach, and minced meat.
He said: “This little cake, inside you put sand-fish wings, right? I heard this kind of thing is very expensive, no wonder you put just a little.” I fell in big laughter. “Later this very expensive sand-fish wing, we should ask Mum not to buy, I should send her thank-you letter.”
I replied to him in big laughter: “Quick, you go write to her, I will translate your letter, haha!”
There was one day he came home from work early, I took the chance he forgot having seen Chinese pork jerky (Bak Kwa), quickly hid the pork jerky away, and then took it out using scissors to cut into square pieces, put these into a pot, then hid the pot in the blanket. Right that day he had a blocked nose, when going to sleep he needed the woolen blanket, I in a moment forgot this hidden precious pot of mine, was lying at one side, feeling at ease reading Chapter 1000 of the “Water Margin” a Chinese classic novel.
He was lying on bed, in hands was the pot, he looked then looked to study it, I raised my head, so bad, he found out this“King Solomon’s treasure”of mine, I quickly grasped the pot from his hands, saying: “This is not for you to eat, is medicine, is Chinese medicine.”
“My nose is blocked, right on I should take Chinese medicine.” He put a handful of it to his mouth, I was tempered, but could not ask him to spit out, just had to stop voice. “So sweet, what is this?”
I unhappily replied to him: “Throat lozenge, to give coughing person to smooth the throat.”
“Throat lozenge made from meat? I am fooled?”
The following day waking up, I found he had taken a big half of the pot to give away to colleagues; from that day on, whenever his colleagues saw me, all of them then pretended to cough so to cheat for my Chinese “medicine” pork jerky, not exclusively non-eating-pork Muslim ones do. (Later on I did not give these to our Muslim friends, otherwise that would be lack of moral respect.)
Anyway husband and wife marriage life is always around eating, other time busy is with earning money for eating, was indeed not very interesting. One day I made rice rolls, which is Japanese sushi, using sea-weeds to wrap rice, inside I also added on some pork floss.
Jose this time rejected to eat. “What, you give me to eat printed blue paper, carbon paper?”
I slowly asked him, “You really do not want to eat?”
“Not eat, not eat.”
Good, I overjoyed, ate a great pile of sushi.
“Open your mouth, let me see?”, he commanded.
“See, there is no blue colour, I used the reversed face of the carbon paper, it could not dye on my mouth.” Anyway often bluffing, I often in that way to make fun.
"You are the Queen of boast, true then untrue, really hateful, to tell the truth, what is it?”
“You totally do not know China, I am quite disappointed about my husband.” I replied to him, again ate my sushi.
He was tempered, use chopstick clipped then clipped one, on the face full of tragically determined expression like a hero heading to battle field, chewed for quite a while, then spitted out, “It is, is sea-weed.”
I jumped up in delight: “Yes, yes, you are so smart!” Was again about to jump, got from him a pat on the head.
Chinese stuffs we then have quickly eaten up, my “Chinese restaurant” also could not make out any more dishes, Western dishes were again back on table. Jose came home from work, surprisingly seeing I was making beef steak, very unexpectedly, but happily, he called: “Half a life already. Also have french-fries? “So I got him eat beef steak for three days, then he seemed to lose appetite, a small bite not eat.
“Is it that you are tired by work? Do you want to go to sleep for a while then again up to eat?” This “yellow faced old hateful wife” is sometimes tender.
“Not ill, it is that I do not eat well.”
Hearing this I jumped up. “Do not eat well? Do not eat well? Do you know how expensive is beef steak?”
“Not that, wife, I want to eat ‘rain’, still the dishes sent from your mum are the best.”
"All right, Chinese restaurant will be open twice per week, how do you think? You want how often the ‘rain’ to fall?"
One day Jose came back home saying to me: “Well done, today my big boss asked me to come.”
“To give you a pay rise?” My eyes were lighted.
“No”
I grasped him, scratched on his skin. “No? You are fired? My God, we…”
“Don’t grasp me, you are so nervous, you please listen, my big boss said, in our company everyone has been invited to our home for meal, only him and his wife were not invited, he was awaiting you to invite him to have Chinese cuisine.”
“Your big boss wants me to prepare dishes? Not do, not do, not invite him, inviting your colleagues I am happy to, inviting boss it is unavoidably awkward, person like me, again need to talk a bit in formal way, you know, I…” I still wanted to loudly tell him about Chinese so-called spirit, again could not explain clearly, again seeing Jose’s facial expression, this ‘spirit’ word is better kept not spelt out!
The following day he asked me, “Hey, do we have bamboo shoots?”
“We have these so many chopsticks, aren’t they bamboo shoots?”
He gazed at me. “My big boss said he wants to eat bamboo shoots slices stirred with mushroom.” Darling, this big boss is really one who has seen the world, could not underestimate him a foreigner.
“Good, tomorrow evening please invite him and wife to dinner, no problem, he wants bamboo shoots bamboo can be grown.”
Jose affectionately looked at me, since our marriage this was the first time he looked at me like a lover such a way, this made me quite flattered, only that day my hair was messy, make-up was terribly like a ghost.
The following evening, I firstly made well three courses, also kept slow fire, arranged table with candles, covered table with white colour table-cloth, added on a red table-runner, everything was extra-ordinarily gorgeous. That meal both the guests and hosts were very delighted, not only the dishes were delicious in all aspects colour, smell and taste, I this wife and host also had make-up neatly, was even wearing long dress.
After the meal, Jose’s boss and wife when leaving for home, still especially said to me: “If in the future our Public Affairs Department has vacancy, hope that you can come to work with us, be a part of our company.” My eyes were lighted. This all thanks to the “Bamboo shoots slices stirred with mushroom”.
Sending off the boss, it was already late at night, I quickly changed from long dress to jeans, hair tied up with rubber band, did the dish-washing, back to my Cinderella nature. Jose was very happy, asked me from behind, “Hey, this bamboo shoots slices stirred with mushroom was really delicious, where did you find bamboo shoots?”
I did not stop washing dishes, asked him: “Which bamboo shoots?”
“The bamboo shoots we had this evening!”
I burst into laughter: “Oh, you are saying that cucumber stirred with mushroom?”
“What, you, you, you fool me that's fine, even dare to fool my boss?”
“I did not fool him, this was his whole life the best one time eating delicate bamboo shoots slices stirred with mushroom, this remark was he himself made.”
Jose held me in his arms, dish washing soap and water all shed on his beard, he said: “Long live, long live, you are that smart monkey, that monkey king who has 72 magical tricks, called… called… what is his name then…”
I patted on his head, “called Monkey King The Great, Sun Wu Kong (*translator's note: Monkey King Sun Wu Kong is a protagonist in Chinese classic novel Journey To The West authored by Wu Cheng'en, is by legend a very smart monkey transformed from a special stone after thousands of years, who has learnt to marvel 72 magical tricks, entitled Monkey King then later on named as Sun Wu Kong who then helped to escort Táng dynasty Táng Xuan Zhuang master monk overcoming numerous challenges on a long journey from China to the west, successfully obtained Buhdism valuable books from Buhdism cradle India transferred to China, then popularised Buhdism religion in China.) This time you could not again forget then.”
[ End of story ]
Images below: Chinese dishes mentioned in Sanmao's story above. Sourced: internet various webpages.
粉丝煮鸡汤 Vermicelli with chicken soup
蚂蚁上树 Ants climbing a tree
合子饼 Chive pocket cake
猪肉干 Pork jerky (bak kwa)
笋片炒冬菇 Bamboo shoots slices stirred with mushroom
0 notes