#I NEED A FUCKING XANAX

[keyofjetwolf]

Me: nervously submits a pull request for all the work I've been doing for the past month involving multiple apis and internal connectors I've built from scratch and just so so much opportunity for extreme fuckupage

My boss: minutes later approves and merges everything in one giant sweep WHILE IN A MEETING SO I KNOW DAMN BLOODY WELL YOU DIDN'T LOOK AT EVEN A SINGLE LINE

I appreciate the vote of confidence here but Code Father why must you refuse to aid me in avoiding your disappointment why do you leave this door open Code Father please

#I NEED A FUCKING XANAX #life with jet wolf #the all new all different here we go again

[slaygentford]

tár is not only so funny it’s so stressful. This is straight horror. All that’s happened so far is an interview and a masterclass and I need a Xanax

#I CANTTTTTTTT THIS IS. every single line of this is giving me a hernia #I HAVE LIKE TEN HERNIAS #i need a fucking Xanax #she’s so hot. as an aside

[babyceejay777]

so i’ve been fasting .. and my mom threw out my fucking dumpling sauce .. i literally said “okay i’ll just continue to actually starve.” and when you read “mom” you should understand that as “a roommate that gave birth to me”.. she threw away shjt she didn’t pay for without reason and she’s driving me insane i want out of this whole fucking state of arkansas .

in the past two days i’ve had a protein drink and maybe one whole sandwich. im dropping weight like crazy but she still throws my food away…. okay✅

#disordered #tw ed sheeran #tripping #bipolor #issues #i need a fucking xanax

[hungerpunch]

i see even comedy that doesn't typically "punch down" has circled back around to using crackhead/crackwhore as a joke. i'm so exhausted by you all. you are so cruel, so casually callous, it's worrisome. you don't realize how easily that could be you. you think you're so superior, so pure, so intelligent as if addiction cares about how smart you are or what you do in life. as if this entire country (usamerica) is not machinated in a way to get people hooked on painkillers. as if the docuseries industry isn't busting with expositions that reveal the wide-ranging sprawl of addiction here and exactly how manipulated we have been. as if loads of people in "white collar" jobs aren't addicts. as if loads of stay at home parents aren't addicts. as if addicts can't have pearly smiles and collect a paycheck. as if there's any real merit between the person who got into a party drug as an impressionable kid then couldn't stop and the lawyer who started doing coke to stay awake for 80-hour workweeks then couldn't stop and the unsuspecting patient who was prescribed opioids by a doctor then couldn't stop. there's not. no one is better than anyone else. addiction is leveling. equalizing.

and the worst part is you are one, too, you up there on your high horse. you're addicted to something. something in this world has its claws in you, its grip on you, that you want to stop but can't, that you could not stop without support. so shut up. shut the fuck up. the people you call crackwhores, meth heads, junkies, etc. they are real fucking people. we are real fucking people just like you. we are real people who deserve your fucking respect and compassion. we are just people who are trying to exist within a system that is trying to eat us alive, just like the rest of you. it's not cute. it's not fucking cute. it's not cool. stop fucking laughing.

#lol brb i'm gonna go have a cry now then throw myself into work #i am feeling so worn by how intentionally mean people are to each other like #not the oops i didn't realize that was offensive kind but the #intentionally. on purpose. derisive and dismissive and cold. and unwilling to reach for empathy or compassion or consideration at all. #yeah keep knocking us down to size. one day it will be you if it's not already. #a doctor prescribed me xanax when i was SIXTEEN FUCKING YEARS OLD. FOR MIGRAINES. #i realize i have yet to process how that affected the next [check notes] 14 years of my life #you know. since. he just kept refilling it for me even though years would pass btwn seeing me in person lol. #anyway wow sorry think i just found out what i need to talk abt in therapy this wk! #my lyfe #driveby post #addiction #drugs

[prismatoxic]

i gotta call my mom and thank her for the teeth of steel i was apparently born with

#they are in SURPRISINGLY GOOD SHAPE for what i've put them through #i have 2 cavities and no other major concerns and will be going back on the 8th to get them filled #everyone at the clinic was so fucking nice like they earned that 4.9 on google reviews #also i uh. yeah i just became resistant to ibuprofen #i have acetaminophen now and will alternate as needed #also they called in xanax for the day of for my anxious ass \m/ #tox.txt

[angelnumber27]

a normal dosage of a benzo would save my fucking life but nope. I’m labeled an addict and that means no matter what I do or how long I stay clean I will never be able to access medications that I genuinely need. It’s extremely frustrating and part of me wishes I’d not been so honest. But I was just trying to get help. I was honest because I needed to be honest and I needed to get clean. I didn’t think then that it would prevent me from getting working adhd/anxiety meds.

#I don’t know what to do I know what works and nobody gives a fuck bc I was addicted to Xanax SIX YEARS AGO #and for amphetamines it’s been fucking 8 years. #so #. #it’s life or death and im losing #I need fucking meds that fucking work

[1327-1]

unmedicated anxiety disorder person befuddled by brain doing the disorder

#this shit is fucking crazy #im like ok! lets get our clothes out bcoz i know u’re gonna freak out but this will make it easier #and then i’m like oh my fucking god what if people look at me #and then i’m like no i dont give a fuck but then i do i do so bad #it quite literally always takes jumping myself and beating my brain with hammers just to go Do Something #like i will map out my route. i will envision myself walking that route. i will be like yes i can see myself in this building i need 2 go 2 #all of that? FICKLE. #2024 xanax in my mouth plsplsplsllspls #.jrnl #i dont mean to psychoanalyze my family before 12pm but u ever have two parents who clearly have anxiety but as ure growing up theyre like #why dont u talk to ppl??? its a little weird ure this shy?? and then when u talk to ppl u’re reprimanded to HELL #and its like hey guys i unfortunately dont think this cycle can be broken i am ur literal child and u gave me this #and the world but its all the same shit fucking itself into top ten worst brain to have #me: u can go to the store and nothing will happen to u! [SOBBING]

[h-f-k]

A FLYING roach got into my living room, lost it for about 5 minutes (both my sanity and the fucking roach) and then i hit it so hard with the floor squeegee that i broke it

#oh my fucking christ #that was the WORST experience of my life #i cannot wait to move #and i cannot wait for fucking summer to fucking end!!! #go to fucking hell you fucking shitty season #i need a xanax

[pyrriax]

wdym its the 22nd already. what.

#haunted ecosystem #im so tired i need to sleep but i need to finish writing. i got distracted by whatever the fuck was happening on crumb earlier #you havent lived until youve spent literally an hour listening to people do live dsmp roleplay with unwilling participants. #and getting called xanax by literally everybody. i still dont know why everybody does that. but they call me xanax. #love that server. im gonna make the public enderman farm look a little nicer as a gift. #i've been working on my other fics and stuff but im just enjoying being (sort of) social #pyrr learns that public vcs can be fun (sometimes) ((sometimes theyre really fucking overwhelming but i love them anyway)) #im making up for the fact i cant leave the house (i keep getting sick every other week its actually horrible)

[natjennie]

I can think of at least three prescription medications cap should be taking like there's no way modern alive au captain does not have a huge fucking old man pill caddy.

#i say as someone with a big old man pill caddy #watch me assign one of my medications to each ghost #the things autism does to a motherfucker #he needs some lexapro. he needs some wellbutrin. he needs some focalin #he should have as needed xanax. a muscle relaxer. #and a fucking knee brace. or a cane. something. #my mans is DISABLED! #bbc ghosts

[monocytogenes]

A Calculated Risk - read on ao3

Injured and traumatized after taking down Ardun Kothe, Cipher Nine flees from Imperial Intelligence and calls upon the only friend he has left. Vector asks him to reconsider his choices.

Excerpt:

He wiped at his nose, searching for words. “You ever had sleep paralysis? Where you wake up partially and you’re seeing things going on around you, and you can’t move?” “We know of this, yes.” “That, but you’re fully awake. They tell you to stay, and you’re frozen. They tell you to go, and—” He swallowed. “You’re trapped in your head watching it happen. Can’t even scream.” He looked towards the wall. “SIS got the trigger word. I don’t know how—one of them’s on the lam, they’re saying he’s got some other allegiance—but frankly, I don’t give a kark. For my part, I’ve fixed it; I took a hit of the chemicals and rewired my own brain because I had no other choice. And no amount of begging on Keeper’s part is going to change the fact that the people whom I trusted, the people whose job it was to be my lifeline, to be there for me whilst I’m running about hostile territory, doing what they don’t even have the guts to do, put me in that position.” His voice caught; he motioned frenetically at himself. “I gave them six years, Vector. Six years of my life! I was loyal, I was good, I saved thousands of people, and this—this is how they repay me. Fine work, Cipher, you piece of rubbish. None of that meant anything at all.” He let his hand drop, breathing unsteadily, his chest heaving. Vector touched his arm, leaned into the choppy sea of his aura. “You know it did. As do we. Those lives, those songs rescued—the universe sings all the more beautifully because of you.” Nine’s features contorted with grief. “Fuck.”

#finished a WIP that i have been ROTATING for like two months now #featuring pravin at Peak Mess™ #Male Friendship (with a brief bisexual interruption because pravin's shit at disentangling intimacy from sex. like dude. work on that) #the funniest reaction to finding one's wanted poster on the internet #('profuse swearing' + 'haha put that on my CV' + 'where the fuck did they get that photo i look like SHIT') #shara in desperate need of a xanax and a REST #and the minister just. god i love that man #'Sit. DOWN. Cipher.' #imperial agent #cipher nine #vector hyllus #shara jenn #swtor keeper #minister of intelligence #swtor #swtor fic #swtor fanfiction #star wars the old republic #writing

[babyceejay777]

literally just clawed tf out of my boyfriend cause i was having a nightmare that some man was in my bathroom, so i tried to jab his eyes with my long ass nails .. he yelled so i’d wake up and chill but my bf hasn’t rolled over yet i hope i didn’t get his face. i’ve just been laying here sweating now😭

#disordered #nightmares gang #i need a fucking xanax

[explanationpoint]

.

#need to belong to a rich neoliberal woman who’s invested in my safety #she thinks my leftist ideas are quaint #she gives me Xanax when I get too excited about the news (it’s stronger than she says it is and i know but i don’t care) #she thinks it’s fun to set my daily schedule but #well i like it because I’m being told what to do but it ends up being enriching and constructive #even if it includes chores because you know what? building better habits is constructive too #anyway yeah she has a 25 step plan for surviving the fallout of climate change #property in New Zealand #and being useful in that space is part of my training too of course #but she cares about my comfort #also she ties me up and just goes crazy on me I’m like a bop it she pushes my buttons and I make a lot of noise and i eat her sloppy style #i mean not that sloppy but i do tend to use a fair amount of saliva #maybe we’d rarely have penetrative sex but she doesn’t pressure me into it and in fact really takes control #telling me to relax and let it feel good #and we cuddle and she’s very warm and maybe she gains some weight while we’re dating but i love her and love it because i love her #im sick im fucked in the head dude

[witchey]

they should make cigarettes that don't kill you. nobody say vaping btw it just isn't the same

#🔮💭 #i guess the only bright side of cigs is that i refuse to smoke them regularly bc of the inherent nastiness which is good at keeping the #nicotine addiction at bay. for now. i refuse to vape nicotine for the sheer fact of i don't wanna make things worse for myself #like look at.me i'm pathetic enough as it is i do not need to do that to myself #smoking a cigarette is a luxury tho it's for days when like. it's not bad enough for me to take a xanax #but i still.need to calm the fuck down. like easy girl. just smoke half of this. that's it. like calming down a horse #ofc i only smoke half on account of the asthma

[cannibalkissies]

I'm abt to apply to so many places tomorrow and then go to my therapy office and request an emergency appointment because girl......

#1) i hurt 2) i feel hopeless 3) im exhausted 4) drs dont listen to me #haha #aaaaahhh.... i need a shrink #i need a guy who will look at me and tell me #“u fucking moron. take this xanax and leave me alone” #ahhh.. #vent

[jellypawss]

locked out of my steam and yahoo is trying to charge to me regain access to my email :)

#i need a xanax #fr #they also said my ID wont work #cant verify it #bro my name is literally in the email #fuck off