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#I actually really like how the hands are rendered in DN it was one of the pleasant discoveries I made that I'll be absorbing into my style
numbuh424 · 3 months
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was debating on whether I should post this or not but I spent so much time on it...🍎 I've been studying the death note art style, and for me studying an art style just means drawing myself as practice 💀
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yde50sullivan · 2 years
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secretshinigami · 5 years
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Masterlist of Demegawa-chan’s Special Prompts
A compiled list of everyone’s prompts from the exchange – thank you for letting us post them, and we hope you guys enjoy them! Prompts are organized by their submitter, so be sure to give credit if you use one.
niatsuki
Near and Light kissing
Mikami and Light in the rain sharing an umbrella
Misa in a suit
Domestic Mikalight
Matsuda confronting Near on the theory he brings up at the end of the manga
Nate and Light having an obtuse argument, but with romantic undertones
toygowther
Light wearing a crop top, high waisted jeans and fishnets, and a choker. 
L having a nice day out in the park eating ice cream with Maki and Near 
Musical!Light smiling
Misa in a cute gothic dress doing a finger heart
L and Light wearing Misa Misa merch at one of her concerts.
AU in which Light is actually a woman. The fic would follow how Misa reacts to it and if she would still want to be her girlfriend.
Role swap au. Light as Misa and Misa as Light.
Light and Misa meeting a different way and actually forming a healthy relationship. 
spaceblue
L, Naomi & B shenanigans
Naomi, Wedy and Lidner as Charlie's angels (or L's angels?)
Wammy kids as Pokemon trainers
Matt gets the rest of the Wammy kids to play Smash with him
Naomi and L after the end of LABB, after he says his name is Rue Ryuzaki 
Drama!L and drama!Raye Penber bickering 
hazblogs
your take on A's gender and sexuality, bonus points if they're not a cis man and straight
Mello and sun imagery
Beyond Birthday and his eyes
Near with Hanahaki disease (pick who it's about if you want a specific ship)
Mello and witchcraft, if possible in the canon universe
Naomi interacting with Beyond (au or canon), if possible talking about L or the Wammy kids
L/Light being soulmates, in canon or in an AU
how Matt started smoking (I am comfortable with heavy drug themes)
polyphenols
L learning to garden, paint, cook, do taxes, care for an animal, or pay for a parking ticket for the first time
All the times L has cursed Right In Front Of The Task Force (poor Soichiro)
L alone, dressed for the cold, in a cathedral during midnight hours, gazing at the altar in silent contemplation
Aiber and Wedy at an evening gala on a mission
L and Alessandro Juliani warmly shaking hands
Young Naomi in a darkened room with red string and case clippings everywhere
What chain of events led to Quillsh Wammy deciding to adopt L and care for him?
Matsuda cant swim and he’s knocked into a body of water on a case, one of the task force has to go after him
The conversation that happened between L and Rem before he walked out onto that rooftop
L traveling somewhere exotic for a case, meets celebrity of your choice and becomes unlikely friends, takes down crime circle together 
Naomi and L interact side by side as partners during a seperate case  
paralllaxes
16 year old Gevanni (normal day or family banter)
Naomi in modern clothing
the SPK in one of those cheesy family pictures.
Naomi thinking about LABB while in Japan
SPK found family stuff / domesticity
Naomi being with the SPK (with or without Raye is the author's choice)
kiranatrix
Light and L in emo/goth clothes or in an emo band
Light in a crown on a throne
Ryuk doing something funny or playing a prank while invisible
L and Light on a road trip
Misa painting Rem’s looooong nails or giving her a makeover
Death Note characters as birds! 
Sayu gets a grumpy parrot and Light doesn’t realize it can talk until after he hears it repeat some Kira plan thing, so he has to adopt it to keep it from spilling on him
L and Light talk about something important that happened to them in their childhood
L has to deal with growing amount of Light’s products in their shared shower and tries some out of curiosity with disasterous results
Light accidentally eats the last piece of cake in Kira HQ and L can’t deal at 4am
Lawlight Apocalypse AU of any variety 
Beyond breaks out of prison after LABB, where does he go?
47gaslamps
The task force with portentous umbrellas
Halle, symbolically framed between Near and Mello
Naomi kicking Light's butt after he attempts to use force
Matsuda gives Yamamoto a welcome-aboard to the former Task Force / 
AU where the drawer IS forced open
Misa has to shield Light from the paparazzi
translightyagami
Light and L in a crowded apartment, obviously lived in, playing piano next to each other
Light sewing something like his father's suit jacket or a shirt Mikami tore
Indulgent ask for my cryptid AU L and Light sitting in a graveyard having a nice time
Light having a smoke before he has to go tell his parents he's moving in with Misa
Light and Sayu having a difficult conversation where they're both saying they're gay without out loud saying it
Near goes to a Lego building event and meets a nice boy who isn't a Wammy kid
almostsane-things
Wammy's kid(s) of your choice sitting on the roof, watching the sky
Beyond Birthday and Candy Guro
DN characters in a rock band, maybe the shinigami are their mascots
Draw a less appreciated character but try something new with your style/medium. (i.e. use different brushes, incorporate a traditional art/craft like painting or cross-stitch, make a collage piece, go abstract, etc)
L in prison
Misa and Sayu becoming friends/ hanging out
The legend of Kira, how has the story of Kira changed over time in universe? Do people believe it was something supernatural, a government conspiracy, a group of vigilantes, or perhaps it's faded to nothing but a cautionary tale for misbehaving kids
A DN character enjoys that thing you really like/ find interesting to learn about, and shares that interest with someone else. (i.e. Matt plays your favorite video game with someone, Linda teaches someone about gardening, etc)
weneedtotalkaboutdeathnote
A hot double date with BBxDemegawa and LxHiguchi
B meeting L (any context is fine).
Naomi and Raye getting coffee together, having a nice time.
L can see ghosts, but he chooses to ignore them. This becomes increasingly had to do when B’s spirit shows up during the Kira investigation.
An Au where L defeated Kira, grew older, and basically disappeared. Older Mello (mid 20sish, now a detective) follows a lead that takes him to the washed up L. 
Non serial killer, "Unprivate Detective" Beyond Birthday works on a case with Naomi Misora.
pensulliwen
Misa making Valentine’s Day chocolate, perhaps while daydreaming about a fantastically unlikely result of giving them to Light.
Rem holding Misa as they fly over the city.
Meme redraws featuring Misa, Light, and L. Just go crazy. Any ridiculous meme image, shove these dorks in there instead.
Misa convincing Rem to take her flying, the feelings they both experience in the air together.
Misa and Mogi on a shopping “date” in which the unlikely pair manage to work together surprisingly well.
Light considers eliminating Misa from the equation many times, but there’s always something that stops him. Explore how he views her and the dissonance between how he views her versus how he views himself, as well as the reasoning for keeping her around longer than intended. 
izaori
Demegawa in a hot tub but instead of water its money
Mello playing soccer with the other kids (like Matt for example). 
Matsuda playing cookie clicker, because he's obsessed.
Young Demegawa when he first got his job, maybe a few months into the job.
Sayu studying for her big exam coming up so she goes to big bro Light for help.
Ryuk discovers sour green apples rather than just the red ones. Maybe Sidoh discovers dark chocolate/white chocolate at the same time.
mikami
High school age Mikami in a high school uniform.
MikaLight out on a date
anything L/Higuchi
A Sakura TV Documentary about the Kiras. 
MikaLight office romance, non-Kira AU.
Write me a fic about Demegawa. Can definitely be comedy, but please take the character somewhat seriously.
ghostoftasslehoff
L and Light playing piano together.
L with a kitty
Sayu and ‘Ryuzaki’ meeting, and hitting it off 
Matsuda recieving a present or something from a ‘secret admirer’
A day in the life of Matsuda (away from the task force)
L and B’s first meeting (can be shippy or not, whichever my Shinigami prefers)
L tries to engage in punnery with the task force, but only one person engages (preference for Light, but surprise me!)
Sayu’s (or Sachiko’s) thoughts on Light’s new secretive actions as Kira becomes more and more active 
tzigi
(All canon-compliant)
L gets first suspicions about a string of heart attacks which may be a new murder case for him
Light’s first day at To-Oh after L’s death
Light’s first day of work at the NPA 
Near tries to pick up L’s investigation
Why did Near go back to L’s original font for the “L” logo between chapter 108 and the C-Kira oneshot? 
A non-Lawlight rendering of the first evening of Light being chained to L after everyone else has already gone to sleep (preferably in keeping with the One Day one-shot) 
Light begging Ryuk for his life
Light’s funeral
catfishmaster
The main characters (plus B) as DND characters
Older Near (like 25-30) with a bunch of cats he keeps for company
Roger bonding with Near after the Kira case.
Beyond Birthday faked his death in 2004 and now lives alone as a poor and pretty miserable theatre actor with a fake name. Oh, and also it's a Kira wins au.
Years after the Kira case has concluded, L takes on Near as an apprentice.
Matt takes Near on a tour of an afterlife-like world they both wound up in. It's more like a dreamscape than anything else but it serves as an afterlife.  
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Hamsters Quotes
Official Website: Hamsters Quotes
• A squat cannot be performed on a Smith machine any more than it can be performed in a small closet with a hamster. – Mark Rippetoe • Adrenaline kicks you in when you’re starving. That’s what nobody understands. Except for being hungry and cold, most of the time I feel like I can do anything. It gives me superhuman powers of smell and hearing. I can see what people are thinking, stay two steps ahead of them. I do enough homework to stay off the radar. Every night I climb thousands of steps into the sky to make me so exhausted that when I fall into bed, I don’t notice Cassie. Then suddenly it’s morning and I leap on the hamster wheel and it starts all over again. – Laurie Halse Anderson • And then the turbines generate electricity that goes into the whole town.” “You mean they aren’t powered by giant hamsters on wheels? I was misinformed. – Michael Grant • At school, our classroom had a small rodent zoo consisting of two rabbits, three hamsters, a litter of baby gerbils and a guinea pig. At first, I’d thought the teacher was raising snack food, which impressed me, being the first sign of intelligence she’d shown. Soon, though, I’d figured out the animals’ true purpose and left them alone, though I would never understand the appeal of petting and coddling perfectly good food. – Kelley Armstrong
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• But I just felt at one point that I was on a hamster wheel, you know? Just doing movie after movie and thinking so much about career related things and I think missing out on hanging with my friends and family as much I needed to. – Woody Harrelson • DNS is kind of the hamster under the hood that drives the Internet. – David Ulevitch • Even as a child I was fascinated by death, not in a spiritual sense, but in an aesthetic one. A hamster or guinea pig would pass away, and, after burying the body, I’d dig it back up: over and over, until all that remained was a shoddy pelt. It earned me a certain reputation, especially when I moved on to other people’s pets. “Igor,” they called me. “Wicked, spooky.” But I think my interest was actually fairly common, at least among adolescent boys. At that age, death is something that happens only to animals and grandparents, and studying it is like a science project. – David Sedaris • Girls were nice to me in the same way that they would be nice to a hamster. I fantasized about wild encounters with females but knew they’d never happen unless my own involvement could somehow go undetected. – Joel Achenbach • Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup-they all die. So do we. – Robert Fulghum • Have you noticed how the Republicans and Democrats try to copy each other at their conventions. Like at the Democratic convention John Kerry’s daughter told a story about how he once gave CPR to her hamster. At the Republican convention the Bush girls are going to tell a story about how when their hamster was bad, their dad built them a little electric chair. – Jay Leno • Haven’t had your fill of interesting events?” “Never. They are the spice of life.” She held up her half-finished hat. “How do you like it?” “It’s nice. The blue is pretty. But what do the runes say?” “Raxacori-Oh, never mind. It wouldn’t mean a thing to you anyway. Safe travels to you and Saphira, Eragon. And remember to watch out for earwigs and wild hamsters. Ferocious things, wild hamsters.” – Christopher Paolini • He was not used to the smell of dragon breath, which is best described as a combination of the stench of burning rubber and the stink of old socks, with overtones of a hamster cage in dire need of a cleaning. – Angie Sage • I always find cardio the most monotonous. Running on a treadmill shows me why hamsters are so crazy. – Luke Evans • I always see to the dogs first and leave the cats and the occasional birds and rabbits and hamsters for later. It isn’t that I play favorites, it’s just that dogs are needier than other pets. Leave a dog alone for very long and it’ll start going a little nuts. Cats, on the other hand, try to give you the impression that they didn’t even notice you were gone. Oh, were you out? they’ll say, I didn’t notice. Then they’ll raise their tails to show you their little puckered anuses and walk away.- Blaize Clement • I can’t shut my brain off. It’s like a hamster wheel.” ~ Justin – Richelle Mead • I could keep trying to do the same kind of comedies. You know how it’s going to go, and you can get an audience with it, but then I feel like a hamster on a wheel. – Vince Vaughn • I do not mean to be the slightest bit critical of TV newspeople, who do a superb job, considering that they operate under severe time constraints and have the intellectual depth of hamsters. But TV news can only present the “bare bones” of a story; it takes a newspaper, with its capability to present vast amounts of information, to render the story truly boring. – Dave Barry • I don’t believe in happy endings. Children have got to face death sooner or later. Granny and Grandpa die, dogs die, cats die, gerbils and those frightful things – what are they called? – hamsters: all die like flies. So there’s no point avoiding it. – Raymond Briggs • I don’t believe in reincarnation, and I didn’t believe in it when I was a hamster. – Shane Richie • I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. – Graham Chapman • I feel so agitated all the time, like a hamster in search of a wheel. – Carrie Fisher • I got ham but I’m not a Hamster – Bill Bailey • I know what the intimidation level of high school is. You’re on a hamster wheel, running, running, running, trying so hard to fit in. It’s all about how you deal with what you’re given, feeling OK with being the odd man out before you’re finally successful. – Drew Barrymore • I love running cross-country…You come up a hill and see two deer going, ‘What the hell is he doing?’ On a track I feel like a hamster. – Robin Williams • I love watching him think,” Maeve told Lily. “You can almost hear that poor little hamster running and running on its wheel. – Jim Butcher • I voted against Gerald Nabarro in my first general election, but my defiance made no difference. If you had put a Conservative rosette on a mustachioed hamster, it would have been elected. – Jeremy Paxman • If anybody felt worse than I did, it was Amos. I had just enough magic to turn myself into a falcon and him into a hamster (hey, I was rushed!) – Rick Riordan • If the sun were made of hamsters, the earth would be incinerated. – Michael Schumacher • I’m done with men. I have a hamster. That’s all I need. – Janet Evanovich • It’s fine to be on the hamster wheel, running and running, trying to grab the brass ring or whatever you define as success, but your relationships, that’s really all that matters when it’s all said and done. – Katie Couric • It’s for the hamster that I’m gonna buy! This is so perfect! (after opening a hamster wheel at Christmas) – Gerard Way • I’ve lived here … my whole life. It’s where I lost all my baby teeth. Where tiny hamster, gerbil, and bird skeletons lie in rotted-out cardboard coffins beneath the oak tree in our backyard. Also where, if some future archaeologist goes digging, they’ll find the remains of a plush toy: a gray terrier named Toto I buried after the accident. – Jennifer McMahon • Lissa knelt down, compassion on her face. I wasn’t surprised, since she’d always had a thing for animals. She’d lectured me for days after I’d instigated the infamous hamster-and-hermit-crab fight. I’d viewed the fight as a testing of worthy opponents. She’d seen it as animal cruelty. – Richelle Mead • Most of us are animal lovers. We insist that we love all animals equally – the hamster, the weasel, and the zebra – but if pressed, we will admit to being either a cat person or a dog person. – Nicole Hollander • New Rule: Gay marriage won’t lead to dog marriage. It is not a slippery slope to rampant inter-species coupling. When women got the right to vote, it didn’t lead to hamsters voting. No court has extended the equal protection clause to salmon. And for the record, all marriages are “same sex” marriages. You get married, and every night, it’s the same sex. – Bill Maher • No matter if you’re a man, woman, cat, hamster, you will get lost in Matt Bomer’s eyes. I don’t know what they are made of outside of dreams and rainbows and amazingness but it truly doesn’t matter. And when he sings. It’s like God gave with both hands and then grew a third hand and graced him with more. – Channing Tatum • One of my producers said this business is like a hamster on that little wheel thing that goes around and around. You may have a great day and get great ratings, but then you’ve got another show to do – whatever moment of success or happiness you have you’ve got to keep grinding it out for the next day. – Sean Hannity • Privately, I consider religion to be a load of bollocks, but when you have a sobbing five year old wanting to know what happened to her hamster, you develop an instant belief in anything that dissolves some of the heartbreak off her face. – Tana French • Some of my best friends are Venture Capitalists, but let’s face it, a hamster with Alzheimer’s could make those kind of numbers. It’s great work if you can get it. – Scott Adams • Some Poor grad student pressing on the flanks of a hamster and out comes a doctorate on the other side – Robert M. Sapolsky • Sung to the tune of O Christmas Tree O woe is me, O woe is me, I used to have a hamster tree, But it was eaten by a newt, And now I have no cuddly fruit, O woe is me, O woe is me, I used to have a hamster tree! – Clive Barker • The hamster called. He wants his home back. – James Patterson • The Hamsters really kick ass – Slim is one of your greatest guitar players – Walter Trout • The kid makes you sick. He looks the part, he walks the part, he is the part. He’s six-foot something, fit as a flea, good-looking – he’s got to have something wrong with him….Hopefully he’s hung like a hamster! That would make us all feel better! – Cristiano Ronaldo • The real slums are another matter. The bad parts of Tondo are as bad as any place I’ve seen, ancient, filthy houses swarmed with the poor and stinking of sewage and trash. But there are worse parts – squatter areas where people live under cardboard, in shipping crates, behind tacked-up newspapers. Dad would march you straight to the basement with a hairbrush in his hand if he caught you keeping your hamster cage like this. – P. J. O’Rourke • The thing is, we have to let go of all blame, all attacking, all judging, to free our inner selves to attract what we say we want. Until we do, we are hamsters in a cage chasing our own tails and wondering why we aren’t getting the results we seek. – Joe Vitale • The wheels are turning, but the hamsters are all dead. Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot. I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig, you get dirty; and besides, the pig likes it. – George Bernard Shaw • The world’s tragedy is that men love women, women love children, and children love hamsters. – Joanna Trollope • We sometimes feel like hamsters on a wheel, covering the same musical ground we did 20 or more years ago. – Bent Saether • Well, I’m an uncle now … don’t know if I’m a good one. My nephew asked me the difference between a hamster and a gerbil and I told him I thought there was more dark meat on a gerbil. – Bobcat Goldthwait • What if hamsters fought in the American Revolution? – Colin Mochrie • While I liked hamsters, too, the Habitrail cage was expensive. Even I could see that the interconnecting boxes, tubes, and spheres could easily bankrupt a family and lead to addiction later in life. Because, how would you know when to stop? How could you stop? An entire city could be built with a Habitrail. – Augusten Burroughs • Why shouldn’t it be that way for the rest of us? Why not just go with it? Just walk the dog and send the tweets and eat the scones and play with the hamsters and ride the bicycles and watch the sunsets and stream the movies and never worry about any of it? I didn’t know it could be that easy. I didn’t know that until just now. That sounds good to me. – Joshua Ferris • With boys you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane. It’s all there. The fruit flies hovering over their waste can, the hamster trying to escape to cleaner air, the bedrooms decorated in Early Bus Station Restroom. – Erma Bombeck • Wondering where Ranger was now, when I needed him. Why wasn’t he here, insisting on locking me up in a safe house? Now that my hamster’s cage was clean, I’d be happy to oblige. – Janet Evanovich • Yeah, well, don’t worry about it. I’ve never met a Daimon yet I couldn’t take. (Wulf) Guess again, little brother. You just met one, and trust me, he’s not like any you’ve ever met before. He makes Desiderius look like a pet hamster. (Acheron) – Sherrilyn Kenyon • You ignorant little slug!” the Trunchbull bellowed. “You witless weed! You empty-headed hamster! You stupid glob of glue! – Roald Dahl • Your Mother was A Hamster and you Father Smelled of elder berries. – John Cleese
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jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'y', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '4', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_y').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_y img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); );
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equitiesstocks · 4 years
Text
Hamsters Quotes
Official Website: Hamsters Quotes
• A squat cannot be performed on a Smith machine any more than it can be performed in a small closet with a hamster. – Mark Rippetoe • Adrenaline kicks you in when you’re starving. That’s what nobody understands. Except for being hungry and cold, most of the time I feel like I can do anything. It gives me superhuman powers of smell and hearing. I can see what people are thinking, stay two steps ahead of them. I do enough homework to stay off the radar. Every night I climb thousands of steps into the sky to make me so exhausted that when I fall into bed, I don’t notice Cassie. Then suddenly it’s morning and I leap on the hamster wheel and it starts all over again. – Laurie Halse Anderson • And then the turbines generate electricity that goes into the whole town.” “You mean they aren’t powered by giant hamsters on wheels? I was misinformed. – Michael Grant • At school, our classroom had a small rodent zoo consisting of two rabbits, three hamsters, a litter of baby gerbils and a guinea pig. At first, I’d thought the teacher was raising snack food, which impressed me, being the first sign of intelligence she’d shown. Soon, though, I’d figured out the animals’ true purpose and left them alone, though I would never understand the appeal of petting and coddling perfectly good food. – Kelley Armstrong
jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'Hamster', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '68', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_hamster').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_hamster img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); );
• But I just felt at one point that I was on a hamster wheel, you know? Just doing movie after movie and thinking so much about career related things and I think missing out on hanging with my friends and family as much I needed to. – Woody Harrelson • DNS is kind of the hamster under the hood that drives the Internet. – David Ulevitch • Even as a child I was fascinated by death, not in a spiritual sense, but in an aesthetic one. A hamster or guinea pig would pass away, and, after burying the body, I’d dig it back up: over and over, until all that remained was a shoddy pelt. It earned me a certain reputation, especially when I moved on to other people’s pets. “Igor,” they called me. “Wicked, spooky.” But I think my interest was actually fairly common, at least among adolescent boys. At that age, death is something that happens only to animals and grandparents, and studying it is like a science project. – David Sedaris • Girls were nice to me in the same way that they would be nice to a hamster. I fantasized about wild encounters with females but knew they’d never happen unless my own involvement could somehow go undetected. – Joel Achenbach • Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup-they all die. So do we. – Robert Fulghum • Have you noticed how the Republicans and Democrats try to copy each other at their conventions. Like at the Democratic convention John Kerry’s daughter told a story about how he once gave CPR to her hamster. At the Republican convention the Bush girls are going to tell a story about how when their hamster was bad, their dad built them a little electric chair. – Jay Leno • Haven’t had your fill of interesting events?” “Never. They are the spice of life.” She held up her half-finished hat. “How do you like it?” “It’s nice. The blue is pretty. But what do the runes say?” “Raxacori-Oh, never mind. It wouldn’t mean a thing to you anyway. Safe travels to you and Saphira, Eragon. And remember to watch out for earwigs and wild hamsters. Ferocious things, wild hamsters.” – Christopher Paolini • He was not used to the smell of dragon breath, which is best described as a combination of the stench of burning rubber and the stink of old socks, with overtones of a hamster cage in dire need of a cleaning. – Angie Sage • I always find cardio the most monotonous. Running on a treadmill shows me why hamsters are so crazy. – Luke Evans • I always see to the dogs first and leave the cats and the occasional birds and rabbits and hamsters for later. It isn’t that I play favorites, it’s just that dogs are needier than other pets. Leave a dog alone for very long and it’ll start going a little nuts. Cats, on the other hand, try to give you the impression that they didn’t even notice you were gone. Oh, were you out? they’ll say, I didn’t notice. Then they’ll raise their tails to show you their little puckered anuses and walk away.- Blaize Clement • I can’t shut my brain off. It’s like a hamster wheel.” ~ Justin – Richelle Mead • I could keep trying to do the same kind of comedies. You know how it’s going to go, and you can get an audience with it, but then I feel like a hamster on a wheel. – Vince Vaughn • I do not mean to be the slightest bit critical of TV newspeople, who do a superb job, considering that they operate under severe time constraints and have the intellectual depth of hamsters. But TV news can only present the “bare bones” of a story; it takes a newspaper, with its capability to present vast amounts of information, to render the story truly boring. – Dave Barry • I don’t believe in happy endings. Children have got to face death sooner or later. Granny and Grandpa die, dogs die, cats die, gerbils and those frightful things – what are they called? – hamsters: all die like flies. So there’s no point avoiding it. – Raymond Briggs • I don’t believe in reincarnation, and I didn’t believe in it when I was a hamster. – Shane Richie • I don’t want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. – Graham Chapman • I feel so agitated all the time, like a hamster in search of a wheel. – Carrie Fisher • I got ham but I’m not a Hamster – Bill Bailey • I know what the intimidation level of high school is. You’re on a hamster wheel, running, running, running, trying so hard to fit in. It’s all about how you deal with what you’re given, feeling OK with being the odd man out before you’re finally successful. – Drew Barrymore • I love running cross-country…You come up a hill and see two deer going, ‘What the hell is he doing?’ On a track I feel like a hamster. – Robin Williams • I love watching him think,” Maeve told Lily. “You can almost hear that poor little hamster running and running on its wheel. – Jim Butcher • I voted against Gerald Nabarro in my first general election, but my defiance made no difference. If you had put a Conservative rosette on a mustachioed hamster, it would have been elected. – Jeremy Paxman • If anybody felt worse than I did, it was Amos. I had just enough magic to turn myself into a falcon and him into a hamster (hey, I was rushed!) – Rick Riordan • If the sun were made of hamsters, the earth would be incinerated. – Michael Schumacher • I’m done with men. I have a hamster. That’s all I need. – Janet Evanovich • It’s fine to be on the hamster wheel, running and running, trying to grab the brass ring or whatever you define as success, but your relationships, that’s really all that matters when it’s all said and done. – Katie Couric • It’s for the hamster that I’m gonna buy! This is so perfect! (after opening a hamster wheel at Christmas) – Gerard Way • I’ve lived here … my whole life. It’s where I lost all my baby teeth. Where tiny hamster, gerbil, and bird skeletons lie in rotted-out cardboard coffins beneath the oak tree in our backyard. Also where, if some future archaeologist goes digging, they’ll find the remains of a plush toy: a gray terrier named Toto I buried after the accident. – Jennifer McMahon • Lissa knelt down, compassion on her face. I wasn’t surprised, since she’d always had a thing for animals. She’d lectured me for days after I’d instigated the infamous hamster-and-hermit-crab fight. I’d viewed the fight as a testing of worthy opponents. She’d seen it as animal cruelty. – Richelle Mead • Most of us are animal lovers. We insist that we love all animals equally – the hamster, the weasel, and the zebra – but if pressed, we will admit to being either a cat person or a dog person. – Nicole Hollander • New Rule: Gay marriage won’t lead to dog marriage. It is not a slippery slope to rampant inter-species coupling. When women got the right to vote, it didn’t lead to hamsters voting. No court has extended the equal protection clause to salmon. And for the record, all marriages are “same sex” marriages. You get married, and every night, it’s the same sex. – Bill Maher • No matter if you’re a man, woman, cat, hamster, you will get lost in Matt Bomer’s eyes. I don’t know what they are made of outside of dreams and rainbows and amazingness but it truly doesn’t matter. And when he sings. It’s like God gave with both hands and then grew a third hand and graced him with more. – Channing Tatum • One of my producers said this business is like a hamster on that little wheel thing that goes around and around. You may have a great day and get great ratings, but then you’ve got another show to do – whatever moment of success or happiness you have you’ve got to keep grinding it out for the next day. – Sean Hannity • Privately, I consider religion to be a load of bollocks, but when you have a sobbing five year old wanting to know what happened to her hamster, you develop an instant belief in anything that dissolves some of the heartbreak off her face. – Tana French • Some of my best friends are Venture Capitalists, but let’s face it, a hamster with Alzheimer’s could make those kind of numbers. It’s great work if you can get it. – Scott Adams • Some Poor grad student pressing on the flanks of a hamster and out comes a doctorate on the other side – Robert M. Sapolsky • Sung to the tune of O Christmas Tree O woe is me, O woe is me, I used to have a hamster tree, But it was eaten by a newt, And now I have no cuddly fruit, O woe is me, O woe is me, I used to have a hamster tree! – Clive Barker • The hamster called. He wants his home back. – James Patterson • The Hamsters really kick ass – Slim is one of your greatest guitar players – Walter Trout • The kid makes you sick. He looks the part, he walks the part, he is the part. He’s six-foot something, fit as a flea, good-looking – he’s got to have something wrong with him….Hopefully he’s hung like a hamster! That would make us all feel better! – Cristiano Ronaldo • The real slums are another matter. The bad parts of Tondo are as bad as any place I’ve seen, ancient, filthy houses swarmed with the poor and stinking of sewage and trash. But there are worse parts – squatter areas where people live under cardboard, in shipping crates, behind tacked-up newspapers. Dad would march you straight to the basement with a hairbrush in his hand if he caught you keeping your hamster cage like this. – P. J. O’Rourke • The thing is, we have to let go of all blame, all attacking, all judging, to free our inner selves to attract what we say we want. Until we do, we are hamsters in a cage chasing our own tails and wondering why we aren’t getting the results we seek. – Joe Vitale • The wheels are turning, but the hamsters are all dead. Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot. I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig, you get dirty; and besides, the pig likes it. – George Bernard Shaw • The world’s tragedy is that men love women, women love children, and children love hamsters. – Joanna Trollope • We sometimes feel like hamsters on a wheel, covering the same musical ground we did 20 or more years ago. – Bent Saether • Well, I’m an uncle now … don’t know if I’m a good one. My nephew asked me the difference between a hamster and a gerbil and I told him I thought there was more dark meat on a gerbil. – Bobcat Goldthwait • What if hamsters fought in the American Revolution? – Colin Mochrie • While I liked hamsters, too, the Habitrail cage was expensive. Even I could see that the interconnecting boxes, tubes, and spheres could easily bankrupt a family and lead to addiction later in life. Because, how would you know when to stop? How could you stop? An entire city could be built with a Habitrail. – Augusten Burroughs • Why shouldn’t it be that way for the rest of us? Why not just go with it? Just walk the dog and send the tweets and eat the scones and play with the hamsters and ride the bicycles and watch the sunsets and stream the movies and never worry about any of it? I didn’t know it could be that easy. I didn’t know that until just now. That sounds good to me. – Joshua Ferris • With boys you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane. It’s all there. The fruit flies hovering over their waste can, the hamster trying to escape to cleaner air, the bedrooms decorated in Early Bus Station Restroom. – Erma Bombeck • Wondering where Ranger was now, when I needed him. Why wasn’t he here, insisting on locking me up in a safe house? Now that my hamster’s cage was clean, I’d be happy to oblige. – Janet Evanovich • Yeah, well, don’t worry about it. I’ve never met a Daimon yet I couldn’t take. (Wulf) Guess again, little brother. You just met one, and trust me, he’s not like any you’ve ever met before. He makes Desiderius look like a pet hamster. (Acheron) – Sherrilyn Kenyon • You ignorant little slug!” the Trunchbull bellowed. “You witless weed! You empty-headed hamster! You stupid glob of glue! – Roald Dahl • Your Mother was A Hamster and you Father Smelled of elder berries. – John Cleese
  [clickbank-storefront-bestselling]
  jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'a', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '4', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_a').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_a img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); );
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jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'u', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '4', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_u').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_u img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); );
jQuery(document).ready(function($) var data = action: 'polyxgo_products_search', type: 'Product', keywords: 'y', orderby: 'rand', order: 'DESC', template: '1', limit: '4', columns: '4', viewall:'Shop All', ; jQuery.post(spyr_params.ajaxurl,data, function(response) var obj = jQuery.parseJSON(response); jQuery('#thelovesof_y').html(obj); jQuery('#thelovesof_y img.swiper-lazy:not(.swiper-lazy-loaded)' ).each(function () var img = jQuery(this); img.attr("src",img.data('src')); img.addClass( 'swiper-lazy-loaded' ); img.removeAttr('data-src'); ); ); );
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summertb36-blog · 5 years
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The Quickest & Easiest Way To Affordable Web Hosting
So, in place of compromising your necessities simply due to money, in the event you're really concerned in your company then, attempt to acquire the ideal web hosting business in India. In case you're operating a web hosting business, then you definitely most seemingly already know concerning the challenges of the corporate. Mainly at current there are two kinds of firms in market. Reselling web-hosting services is a really competitive enterprise and your success relies upon on the reliability of your dedicated server. Ask your company concerning the function of hosting multiple domain names. Not all your purchasers will like to host their sites on a sub domain and you could lose the most important prospects. The market out there's replete by many so-called cheap and affordable digital promoting and marketing suppliers, yet only a very few can meet your expectations concerning excellence of services. If you happen to're in search of economical and reasonably priced Web Design Services, then your search ends right here, because the rates we offer for all of the services are most economical when compared with the highest quality of services supplied by us. For newbies, the best factor to do is to chorus from hosting firms with awful support. There are a whole lot of advantages and pitfalls of the free hosting. Shared hosting is a wonderful various for smaller businesses or businesses on a funds. In addition, the hosting contract must be scalable. Now the internet host mainly supplies you with certain space on the server the place it's possible to retailer up the files containing the codes and other traits of the site. Clearly the totally free web hosts will present sure sorts of commercials on their customer's websites as a solution to compensate for the hosting costs. The shared web hosting is among the less expensive options. There are a number of benefits and pitfalls of the free hosting. Even if you're hosting on Single web hosting plan, you don't should be concerned till and in the event you aren't working auto-script or auto-blogging on your website. If you are searching for inexpensive or cheap web hosting, then have a look at the benefits and products available online. It would not cause how surpassingly traffic you procure if your website is desolate and you may't convey off anyone to render to it. Good net hosting corporations should have a help telephone line, energetic chat, email second and will have the ability to respond to any help case in lower than 30 minutes. If not, move on to other web hosting. The very first and the foremost subject to contemplate whereas choosing a Magento hosting services is to know the demands of website which is to be hosted. Dedicated hosting is the best type of hosting available in the business. Thus, web hosting allows a enterprise to entice numerous prospective prospects who go to the websites of distinctive companies to know regarding their services and products. You have to be more conscious of the web hosting company that you simply choose. In case you have a price range persist with it, in the event you see hosting for little or nothing and find yourself considering “how do they make money” keep effectively away, the chances are your web site can be hosted with very little bandwidth resulting in a very sluggish accessible and unprofessional web site. browse around these guys You may additionally find that the customer service is little or none.
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luxus4me · 6 years
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WebdesignerNews http://j.mp/2mEjFb3
A lot of websites are slow.
Many web developers don’t even know our websites slow because we’re on fast internet with great hardware and we live close to our servers.
But what if you have users on the opposite side of the globe from your server? What if their bandwidth is miniscule? What if they’re on a phone? It could take them ages to load your site. And users’ slow CPUs might spend an eternity computing the next animation frame.
What’s an engineer to do? Here I’ll introduce how to think about web performance and how to go about identifying and fixing web performance problems. This article will familiarize you with web performance concepts. I’ll point you in the right direction so you can figure out where to get started and where to invest your time when you’re tackling your website’s performance.
What is a page load?
To understand why websites can be slow, let’s go through the stages of everything that goes into loading a web page. This article focuses on page load speed, not how responsive your website is once it’s done loading, but some of the same tools apply to both stages.
Getting connected
Before you can start loading any website, you’ve got to open a connection between the browser and the target site. This includes DNS lookup to find your website’s IP address; a TCP handshake to establish a connection; and an SSL handshake to set up encryption (I hope!). That means you’ve already got several round trips to and from your servers before the user even begins to load your content. If your servers are on the other side of the planet from your client, each round trip is going to be over 100 milliseconds. You can’t beat the speed of light! If you’re looking for a page load of less than a second, you already have slashed off almost a third of your time with the three round trips needed to initiate a secure connection.
Note that there’s a quick fix here if your stack is up to date. HTTP/2 can use caching to reduce SSL setup to only one round trip — just one of many reasons to consider HTTP/2 if you don’t use it already.
Server response
Okay, you’ve connected! Now your servers have to start doing some work to deliver bytes to the user. Depending on the design and nature of your service, response time can vary wildly. Is your website a bit of static content, or do you need to do all sorts of database lookups and computation to prepare a response? Do you compute the whole page and push it at once, or do you send a shell and push other content as it becomes available? Are you rendering React on the server? Your server response could take anywhere from a few milliseconds to hundreds of milliseconds or more.
Content download
So some sort of response has been prepared. Now clients have to download that response from your servers. Transferring a large response could take a while on a slow or flakey connection.
The browser can quickly begin to parse the response. As soon as it starts parsing, it’ll probably receive instructions to go and download a bunch more stuff: CSS, images, and JavaScript. At this point, many websites tap content delivery networks (CDNs) that are experts at delivering static content quickly around the globe.
And thus the great download of JavaScript, CSS, and images begins. Some large modern websites tend to measure their JavaScript alone in hundreds of kilobytes to megabytes, even after compression. If you have a 100 megabit connection, that will only take tens or hundreds of milliseconds. But if you’re on a 5 megabit connection (like some mobile networks), you’re looking at over a second of content download time, and if you’re on a slower or flakier network, this could take many seconds.
Parsing and execution
Luckily, the browser usually parallelizes this download step with parsing and execution. Once your CSS is in, rendering begins even if JavaScript is still loading. When any JavaScript comes down, the browser begins to go through the rather expensive tasks of parsing and then executing it. It will also lazily parse JavaScript — parsing is CPU intensive and on a slow client it can add seconds to page load time.
Everything else
Your JavaScript might kick off requests to your server that download more data. Websites can have post-load pipelines to show you more stories on your newsfeed, more products on your store, load a new menu, download higher res images, etc. You might have some CPU-heavy JavaScript computations that need to be done while your user is interacting with your page, like if you have too much going on in a React render function. Maybe you offload some decoding to a Web Worker. Websites diverge a lot after the initial page load.
What to do about it
Wow! That’s a lot of stuff that goes on just to load a page! The good news is there’s a lot of great tools to help you dig in and understand your performance.
Profile, profile, profile
You might be tempted after reading this to go tear out a bunch of JavaScript code because your number of kilobytes of JavaScript seems high. Stop!
As with any performance problem, the first step is simply to profile. No point putting your codebase through the ringer if it turns out performance isn’t a pressing problem for you.
You need to understand your performance so that you can decide whether it’s a problem. There are a lot of great tools for profiling web pages. On your own machine you can use the Chrome, Firefox and Edge profilers. These can give you an idea of how much time is spent in various stages of the page load, from network requests to JavaScript execution. Sometimes performance will vary wildly from one browser to the next because of implementation differences.
You can use these browser dev tools to emulate slower connections, so you can see what some of your users might be experiencing. Pretending to be on 2G is a fun one.
Make sure you test your page with static resources both uncached and cached.
You can also use tools like webpagetest to see what page loads are like from different browsers and different places around the world.
Log, log, log
On top of that, strongly consider logging page load times for your users. The Navigation Timing API and Resource Timing API are your friends. Send the information from these APIs on your users’ machines to your servers and collect it for analysis.
But careful when interpreting results: these APIs measure many different stages of your page load. Make sure you figure out which event actually lines up with when the user can view or interact with your page.
This user data will let you see the actual performance real users are experiencing and help you get a breakdown of where time is being spent. Logging will help you home in on problems by looking at which countries, browsers, and devices are suffering.
Some teams find it helpful to log performance metrics on every commit or run perf tests on every commit to identify degrading performance quickly. After your profiling, you probably have a good idea of which metrics you need to track and log for each commit: bytes of JavaScript, number of images, etc.
Now for the fun part: make your page fly
If your investigations reveal that your website is slower than you want to be in a way that you believe is impacting user experience, it’s time to get to work. Your profiling information should already have revealed to you where to get started.
There are lots of small changes that can speed things up: remove redirects, preconnect to the CDN, etc.
For many web pages, the main thing you can do to make your website faster is load less stuff. Google recommends you keep your page weight to 1 megabyte uncompressed.
Minify JavaScript, compress your content, turn on tree shaking. Use async and defer whenever possible to load scripts that aren’t needed right away. Remove unnecessary images. Load only the JavaScript you actually need. Remove code for inaccessible features. Redesign your page to load fewer images! Lots of huge images on your homepage might look really snazzy on your fast office internet, but what does it look like on a slower connection where they load pixel by pixel?
But be careful to keep the big picture in mind instead of only adding on some hacks that will make your code more complicated and will break in a few months. Upgrading to HTTP/2.0 won’t solve all your problems if you’re just loading too much data. On the other hand, a thoughtful rearchitecting to make your website’s performance stable for a long period might be the best investment of your time. For instance, you might want to make it so that your page’s components load in parallel, use GraphQL to load only necessary data, or implement server-side rendering.
Eyes on the prize: user experience
But don’t miss the forest for the trees. Your end goal should always be focused on your users and improving their experience. Performance is just one aspect of the overall experience of your website. If you’re smart about your development process, you’ll make a page that’s not only snappy but also delightful to use.
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Connect To The Desktop Of Your Home Computer Via The Internet
New Post has been published on https://myupdatesystems.com/2017/04/14/connect-to-the-desktop-of-your-home-computer-via-the-internet/
Connect To The Desktop Of Your Home Computer Via The Internet
We live in the age of global communication and connectivity. Could you imagine 10 years ago if you had told someone you’d be sitting in a coffee shop, connected to a worldwide network, with no wires connected to your laptop, reading the latest news or even playing a game with your friends?
They would have suggested that you are mad! Fortunately, that is not the case and we do live in a world where global communications are standard and almost everyone has their own permanent connection to the internet via broadband.
What if, via this worldwide communications network, you could not only read the latest news or do your grocery shopping online; you could actually remotely control your PC at home! Think about this for a minute, what would this allow you to do? Would it allow you to remotely use any applications you may have installed at homes, such as accountancy applications, spreadsheets or documents? Allow you to check any downloads you may have progressing at home? Check on emails that only come into your email client? The possibilities really are endless. There is a solution at hand, and in this article, I will focus on using the inbuilt features of Microsoft Windows XP Professional, namely, Remote Desktop.
If you have never used remote desktop before, don’t be worried. It’s a simple feature that does what is says, presents you with your desktop via a client. If you look in Start -> Programs -> Accessories -> Communications, you will see a Remote Desktop Client application.
Using this application, you can enter a computer name or IP address to connect to. You can even map your home computers hard drives as well so that they appear in windows explorer, and even print to the printer beside you, from your home computer, over the internet!
Try it at home if you have two computers. You need to make sure that Remote Desktop is enabled first, and this can be done by selecting System from Control Panel, selecting the remote tab, and ensuring that “Allow users to connect remotely to this computer” is enabled. If you plan to do this at home, take note of the “Full computer name”, as this is what you will need to enter into the remote desktop client to connect to this computer.
I know you are worried about security at this point, but don’t worry – we’ll address that later.
Now, if you do have two computers at home, try it and see what happens! You should be presented with the familiar login box, and once logged in – ta-da! You are now on the desktop of the other computer, using the remote desktop application on your local computer!
Now – what if this functionality could be extended; so that you can connect to your home PC from anywhere in the world provided you are connected to the internet? Fortunately, this can be done! There are seven steps that we need to do in order to achieve this.
1. Ensure that your computer will accept remote desktop requests
2. Make sure your password is strong!
3. Note down your IP addresses
4. Change the port number that remote desktop responds on (this will aid with security)
5. Ensure any local firewalls are not blocking the Remote Desktop Port.
6. Create the necessary port forwarding rules on your home router
7. Sign up to a Dynamic DNS service (ignore if you have a static IP address from your ISP)
Let me explain these steps and how to perform each one.
1. Ensure your computer will accept remote desktop requests. As above, you need to select the System icon from Control Panel, and, from the remote tab, ensure that “Allow users to connect remotely to this computer” is enabled.
2. Make sure your password is strong! If your password is not very secure, make sure you change it so that it has at least 8 characters, at least one uppercase character and at least one symbol. One way to do this is to use symbols/numbers as a substitute for letters. For example, say I wanted my password to be the name of my son, Benjamin. Instead of using Benjamin as my password, I could use, which as you can see, is a lot more secure than Benjamin.
3. Note down your IP addresses. We need to make a note of your internal and external IP addresses. To do this, go to Start -> Run and type cmd. Then click OK. Type config and look for the IP address entry. In this example, we will use 192.168.01. This is your internal IP address. Now browse to Take a note of your IP address, in this example, we will use 1.2.3.4. This is your external IP address.
Things will get a bit techy from this point on. The tasks we need to perform are pretty straight forward, however, if you have any questions, please ask a technical friend first or consult online help from the internet as an error in the below steps could cause your computer to malfunction or cause you internet connectivity problems.
4. Change the port number that remote desktop responds on. This will require you editing the registry. Go to Start -> Run and type Regedit. Then click OK and you will be presented with the Windows Registry. I won’t get into detail about the registry now, there are books as thick as encyclopedias written on the windows registry, suffice to say, if you don’t know what you are doing, don’t mess around with it!
Now, if you browse through the tree to HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINESYSTEMCurrentControlSetControlTerminal ServerWinstationsRDP-TCP. Once there, look for an entry in the right-hand pane called “PortNumber”. Double click this entry and select decimal. Now, this will be 3389 by default. Make sure you change this to a number of your choosing, above 1024 and below 65534. In this case, lets you 23456. I highly recommend making this number as obscure as possible to avoid people discovering an open port via portscan! Click OK, and close down Registry Editor.
One caveat to this, what port you decide to use, may affect the usability of this feature. Some companies will block ports that are not in common use, so 23456 will be blocked. Other companies allow all ports, as do most home users. If you choose a common port, such as port 80 or 443, it may allow you more access from secure networks, however, will allow hackers to more easily see your PC on the internet.
Even using a higher port number will still render you vulnerable to certain attacks, however, the risk is severely minimized when using a higher port number. I and a number of colleagues have used this technology for a number of years without incident; however remember when allowing any connectivity over the internet, there is always a risk! This choice in functionality is up to you.
5. Ensure any local firewalls are not blocking the Remote Desktop Port. This step will most likely require you to check the instructions with your particular desktop firewall product. What you will need to do here is ensure that anyone is allowed to connect to the port number used above. This is usually in the form of a firewall rule and looks similar to the below:
Allow Anyone using protocol TCP 23456 in both directions to connect to My computer. Once again, this will require consulting your desktop firewall instructions.
Now, before we go any further we need to make sure this change has taken effect. Reboot your computer, and, if you have another computer on your LAN, try and remote desktop to your computer with the “: port number” at the end, for example. My computer:23456, or your IP address, 192.168.0.1:23456. Make sure this works before continuing or else the next steps will not work.
6. Create the necessary port forwarding rules on your home router. This step will depend on your particular home router. You will need to connect to this and define a port forwarding rule similar to the following:
Allow anyone -> Using Port TCP 23456 (substitute for your port number above) to connect to 192.168.0.1 (substitute for your internal IP address). You may need to consult the manual for your router regarding port forwarding for this. You may need to define a particular protocol or server for TCP 23456 (substitute for your particular port number above). This is the hardest step of all so it may take you a while to achieve.
7. Sign up to a Dynamic DNS service (ignore if you have a static IP address from your ISP). If you know your external IP address will never change, ignore this step. If however, you have a dynamic IP from your ISP, you will need to perform this step.
This step is to ensure that if your external IP address changes, it will be registered on the internet so you can still connect to your PC.
Sign up here and enter a hostname that you would like to use, ie, myname.dyndns.com. Follow the instructions here to ensure that your external IP address is always updated on the internet.
8. Finally, you are ready to go. If you have completed all the steps above successfully, you’ll want to test this out. The best choice will be to go to a friend’s house with home broadband, and test connecting in. Once connected to the internet, load up your remote desktop client, and enter either your external IP address or DNS name, eg 1.2.3.4:23456 or myname.dyndns.com:23456.
Chances are this may not work the first time, so, I have included below tests that you can perform at each stage to determine where the problem may be.
1. Ensure that your computer will accept remote desktops requests. The best way to check this is to go to Start -> Run and type cmd. Then type “telnet 127.0.0.1 port number” ie, “telnet 127.0.0.1 23456”. This should return a blank cmd window if successful, and an error if unsuccessful. If this is successful, move on to the next step. If this is unsuccessful, make sure Remote Desktop Connections to you PC are enabled and the port number is correct. You can do this by typing “telnet 127.0.0.1 3389” in the same cmd window as before, and if this is successful, your remote desktop port number has not yet changed. You may need to reboot your PC or check the above registry entry.
2. Make sure your password is strong! This test I will leave to you to ensure your password is correct.
3. Note down your IP addresses. Make sure that all your IP addresses are correct!
4. Change the port number that remote desktop responds on. You can check this has been set successfully by going to Start -> Run and type cmd. Then type “telnet 127.0.0.1 port number” ie, “telnet 127.0.0.1 23456”. This should return a blank cmd window if successful, and an error if unsuccessful. If this is successful, move on to the next step. If this is unsuccessful, make sure Remote Desktop Connections to you PC are enabled and the port number is correct. You can do this by typing “telnet 127.0.0.1 3389” in the same cmd window as before, and if this is successful, your remote desktop port number has not yet changed. You may need to reboot your PC or check the above registry entry.
5. Ensure any local firewalls are not blocking the Remote Desktop Port. The best way to test this functionality, if you can, is to use a PC on your LAN. From a PC on the same network as yours, type “telnet “, ie “telnet 192.168.0.1 23456”. If you receive a blank cmd window, then this is working OK. If you receive an error, and all the above tests are successful, then this indicates that something on your PC is blocking this connection. You will need to look at any local firewalls that may be preventing this access (including the inbuilt Microsoft Firewall).
If this step works, also ensure that your local firewall is not just allowing the computer on your local network and nothing else to connect. I stress again, make sure you read the instructions that came with your desktop firewall.
6. Create the necessary port forwarding rules on your home router. This is the most problematic part of the process. To check this, you will need to be on another broadband connection. Once connected, navigate to Start -> Run and type cmd. Then type “telnet ” ie, “telnet 1.2.3.4 23456”. Once again, this should return a blank cmd window if successful and an error if unsuccessful. If all the tests above have been successful, and this command is unsuccessful, then this problem indicates there is an issue on the router port forwarding the Remote Desktop request. Ensure that you have read the manual and port forwarded this successfully.
7. Sign up to a Dynamic DNS service. You can test this simply by performing the same command as above. If “telnet external port number” works, and “telnet myname.dyndns.com port number” does not, then there is a problem with this service. From a cmd window, type ping myname.dyndns.com and see if it returns a reply. If not, then you will need to check the online help with regards to this service.
That should be it; you should now be able to connect to your home PC from almost any internet connection. Remember you can use advanced features of the remote desktop client such as connecting your local drives, printers etc.
I suggest you have a quick look at the help that comes with Remote Desktop Client to explore everything that it can provide you with.
As I mentioned at the beginning of this article, the possibilities for this use are endless depending on your own individual needs, and I imagine that as technologies such as 3G and GPRS are improved, this ability will extend to your PDA device as well so that you can access your home PC on the move, that’s if you are not carrying around a small PC and mini holographic projector in your top pocket by then!
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