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starglitterz · 2 years

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"xiao?"

your voice is deafening in the quiet, shattering the peaceful silence between the two of you, yet to the last remaining yaksha it is the most pleasant sound in the world.

"yes, dove?"

moonlight filters through the open window, bringing with it a cool breeze that makes you shiver and press closer to him. though to many he is pitiful, burdened by karmic debt and carrying the weight of his past sins, you find his presence to be incredibly comforting, and his warmth now is far from unwelcome.

"are you ever... lonely?"

you hesitate to finish your question, teeth scraping your bottom lip when you bite it as if to prevent the final word from escaping. saying it out loud makes the possibility so much more real, and you're not sure if you really want to know the answer.

"..."

there is no response. xiao feels how you stiffen in his arms, muscles tensing with concern that you may have hurt his feelings or offended him by assuming the conqueror of demons experienced such trivial mortal emotions. truth be told, he is considering his answer, desiring to give you the most honest one he can, for that is what you deserve after opening your heart to someone as stained by the past as him.

"yes. and sometimes it is almost overwhelming."

xiao begins, and the melancholy blossoming in your chest at his reply is simultaneously soothed by his voice. the gentleness of his tone would probably be impossible to comprehend for those who saw him daily, as his softness was reserved for you alone, and he did not particularly care about how rough others perceived him to be.

"but..."

he falls silent once more. xiao prefers not to look at the past, but now he finds himself musing over the other yakshas and mourning their fates. though he used to be ready to welcome death with open arms, grateful for his suffering to be over, things have changed since then.

"it has become easier to bear ever since i learned to love you."

others may take xiao's words at face value and believe that he loves you only out of habit, like you were constantly by his side until he was forced to figure out how to love you. but you know better. xiao learned to love you by learning to let his walls down, that being vulnerable isn't showing weakness, that opening yourself up to the possibility of being hurt provides a fountain of opportunities and love to flow.

"i'm glad."

a smile curves your lips, and you twist in xiao's arms to press a kiss to his jawline before tucking your head into the crook of his neck once more. the stars dance across the blanket of the midnight sky outside, twinkling effortlessly, burning themselves up to give beauty to the darkness, and you are here, safe with your lover.

"i love you, xiao."

perhaps in the grand scheme of the universe the two of you are insignificant, but for now that matters not in the slightest, because:

"and i love you too, dove."

©starglitterz 2022. do not plagiarise, repost nor modify in any way – reblog / follow if you enjoyed!

#once again do not ask me to explain i genuinely have no clue i just started typing words just when i was abt to sleep 😭#i just think that xiao. and the abstract concept of loneliness that comes with watching the world you essentially helped create grow #and grow is such an important term here bc it is growing out of him; liyue no longer needs xiao to defend it as it once did in the past #especially when you consider how he is the last yaksha; and i just keep thinking about how it must feel to be the only one alive to witness #liyue's current glory when they all gave everything for it to develop into this; sacrificing themselves to sin and gaining karmic debt and #eventually dying (?) but either way leaving xiao alone. like i know that this is what they would have wanted and what they were made to do #but i keep thinking about xiao and survivor's guilt and how it plays out into his character; does he feel it's unfair that he gets to live?#does that make him feel the need to overcompensate by remaining reclusive and fighting almost every minute when there isn't rlly much of a #need to? idk idk hahaha these are just random ramblings idk why i put them in the tags 😭 also i haven't played the archon quest yet so #don't spoil!!!!! ill eat ur souls if u do /hj #ok proper tags i promise:#✏️ — quill writes !#xiao x reader #xiao fluff #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader

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shinayashipper · 2 years

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“Shame on you,” she bristled. “It was an honest mistake. He’s been through so much, and doesn’t need you to make it worse.”

The First Leaves that Fall by @clyde-side - Chapter 8

THIS SCENE SURPRISED ME SO MUCH I DID NOT EXPECT MIHO-CHAN TO SNAP LIKE THAT ABSOLUTE BLESS HER (and Wow the power she holds!!)

Thank You to Clyde who always Indulge me with my brainrotting 🔥🔥

Bonus Suika-chan QwQ

#my arts #fanart for fanfic #art for fic #puzzleshipping #(tagged because this is a Puzzleship fic)#I love Miho-chan #I already put much Screaming in DMs so I'm Calmer here haha #I added some tones hoping to give it some more Atmosphere #than the one i shared u on dm #a PUZZLE FIC made me do comics again #(the Funny thing is No Actual Puzzle yet in any of what I drew HAHAHA)

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rosicheeks · 28 days

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🫶

#I’m getting hit with a massive wave of nostalgia now #I remember staying up ALL NIGHT working on changing my theme #I used to play in the html and add things #I looooved adding falling snow during the winter #I remember when having a music player at the top or somewhere on your blog was super popular #but ended up being incredibly annoying #cause half of the people put it on autoplay so when you entered someone’s blog you would get blown away by music #I remember having a whole different page for an about me #I wonder if I still have that up on mine #broooo I haven’t looked at my blog page on a laptop or anything in fucking AGES #I’m embarrassed to think what it might look like but whatever #most of us are using mobile anyway #or at least in my mind we are hahaha #so when I first started a blog I think I was in middle school??? like 12 or 13 hahahaha good times #my first url was SO CRINGE and I’m not going to say it cause I’m 😬😬😬😬😬 when I think about it #and then I slowly got more of a following and started doing smoke videos #I miss that community too :(#making smoke videos and tagging a bunch of stoner mutuals to ‘pass the bong/joint’#and then they would make a video and tag me #awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwhhhh #I haven’t logged into that tumblr in AGES omg #but then I decided to post content and I didn’t want to post it on my original blog in case it got flagged or anything #so I made this blog #and here we are 🥰#but man I have SO many memories from my last blog #i made a friend in Belgium and we sent presents back and forth #I think only once but maybe twice #I still have the bracelet she sent me #can’t believe I’ve been on tumblr for most of my life lmao #but I’ve met SO many amazing people that I would have never have met

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pangyham · 1 month

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geez gaming's cn dub where he growls when he plunges... such a cute trait (<- falling so deep into the gaming trenches)

#tangy talks genshin #gaming #wow these tags are long as hell #he is so cute so cute so cute so cute #im so obssessed with his growl idk why i think it's cute as hell #HSJDFHJ cringe ahead in the tags ignore me #but i was thinking about .. mingyun/chongming..and gaming playfully nipping chongyun's lips or cheek WHATEVER and cheekily growls WHHEH #it's only natural of course for me to put my current two favorites together ... (pokes them with a stick) cmon.. do something...#i PROMISE i have more substantial thoughts for them . . . actually my chongming comic is kinda really rough. i still dont have a strong #grasp on their dynamic but i've got an idea... so chongming will have to be put on hold ... i do wanna finsih it though #huh. chongming or mingyun? hahaha #i default to chongming since mingyun exists in the game (the village)#i like the sound of mingyun though. mostly because i'm fond of “yun” ... yunyun. yun'er. yunnn. what a cute name

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galateagalvanized · 2 years

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Usually I don’t engage in much theory-crafting for TV shows, but I’m so invested in Reva’s character, and I really just wanted to explore what I hope happens for her in the narrative.

Ok, onscreen, we’re being led to believe that Reva wants to be Grand Inquisitor, but she never once confirms it herself. The lines ‘You’ll get what you deserve’ and ‘I hope so. I sure hope so’ have really stuck with me, and I can’t help but think that being Grand Inquisitor is just a means to an end for her. What I’m starting to think—or hope?—that ‘end’ is… being close enough to Darth Vader to kill him.

I think she’s out for revenge. I think that confirmation from Tala earlier that the Empire is hunting all Force Sensitives, taking children who are never seen again, is a hint that Reva could be one of the children who was taken—or one of the younglings who escaped the Purge at the Temple. The Inquisitorius twisted her into something awful, into a monster, into something cruel… into something antithetical to her nature, and she hasn’t forgiven them for it. I think we’re going to see Vader’s predilection in the comics for removing his Inquisitors’ limbs confirmed in canon and the confirmation that she’s lost some limbs to him; I think it’s going to be a call back to her taking that woman’s hand in ep 1.

Also, not for nothing, but her name is clearly a reference to Revan, right? One of the most famous ”went dark then went light” Star Wars characters of all time? The redemption arc? That’s gotta be intentional.

Ok, so what does this do for the narrative? I think it would set her up as a narrative foil to both Obi-Wan and Anakin. Obi-Wan is a man who has almost, almost given up on goodness and kindness in the world, and who is slowly relearning that goodness and kindness didn’t die with the death of the Jedi Order through the kindness and compassion of others. On the other hand, Reva's given up on the existence of goodness and kindness and is unable to relearn it because she's so obsessed with trying to exact the same pain that was done to her on the one who did it… but she can still be saved. Still young. Still could care.

And on the other, amputated hand, Anakin is past the point of caring. He only wants revenge against the man he sees as the one who carved away his humanity, even though Anakin did that to himself. The Reva I’m imagining is perfectly placed between the two of them in terms of her potential for despair and salvation.

And, AND, to drive that point home, to drive the point home that she can still be saved if she turns from the dark, if she accepts that kindness is still possible—I think Obi-Wan has to be the one to show her that kindness. But he has to relearn kindness and compassion and trust before he can teach those things to her.

He can't save Darth Vader… but he might be able to save her, and in so doing, save himself.

#kenobi spoilers #inquisitor reva #third sister #kenobi show #obi wan kenobi #honestly not trying to put this in the tags #mostly just trying to make sure anyone can avoid spoilers hahaha #i LIKE HER A LOT #i want to see what they do with her!!#i want to see her get a wonderful story!!!!!#this is my hope…#i would LOVE to see this onscreen #it would be SO powerful

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peapod20001 · 1 year

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In my...✨ depression bed ✨ phase <3

#vent #oho five hours babeeee hungry AND hot AND depressed?? what is this?? my birthday?#hahaha yeaap. it’s cool it’s cool I’m chillin #just vibin. head feels. weird. but I don’t entirely know what up with that it could be a few things if I’m being honest lol #hmmgf when was the last time I just. laid here this often?#laid? layd? layed?? whatever lol #hmm I found a fuckin uhh. vent diagram thing that showed BPD ASHD and Autism and their specific traits and overlaps #is uh. uhm. too close!! like sir!! who gave you!! permission!!!!#oofy anyways uhmmmmmm. realized that I!! don’t interact with people!! as much as I did when I was younger!!#like I had my classmates. my friends. my family. the ppl on tumblr and stuff. yknow #I was talking to someone and shit like!! every day!! for multiple hours!! a day!!!!#now it’s like. wow boy howdy. what are the chances I y’all for more than an hour with LITERALLY ANYONE today :)#uhhghgh gross ew ew nasty. I totally. don’t care that I’m not getting my enrichment #I’ll jus read tags on my art and look through old messages in place of actually. talking to anyone #mmm. conversations hard. hate talking about myself. don’t know anything besides myself. hate certain topics (but won’t say anything bout it)#anndd yeaa!! I don’t understand ppl and their motives and why they like me specifically. I put on my best personality for youu #I’m playing off of you and mirroring how you act so you’ll be ok with me <3 but that’s ok I suppose. I don’t think anyone here is out for my #guys so I’m doing good at least somewhat lol. ahmm. you ever not care about being something special to someone else. and then they kindaa.#squash that idea? and in theory you shouldn’t care since you didn’t want it in the first place but. them saying it hits? different? like oou #oh and question I don’t expect anyone to answer. you ever cried cus. someone aid you were their friend? best friend specifically? idk man #2 ppl have said I’m their best friend an I had to literally force myself not to get emotional at the first one and then I legitimately cried #with the second one LMAO like. how ridiculous is that yea? yeah #it’s. yeah. I’ve called ppl my bffs or whatever before but. it’s different when someone says it to you first ig. before I think they only #gave me the label out of convenience. not that we weren’t actually friends (at least I hope we were DHHDV) but. idk!! I literally yearned #for like!! basic shiittt!! I got put in time out like beginning of kindergarten cus I cried over my 1st best friend partnering with a new #girl instead of me!!! 😭 woof. that was the ONLY time I ever cried in public EVER. didn’t matter how many time I got hurt physically or #emotionally or how stressed I got or how confused or embarrassed and humiliated I was!! I’m NEVER letting people look at me like I’m stupid #for caring EVER. AGAIN. woof ok getting off the rails here I was like at least sort of ok when I started writing this but now I’m very much #NOT lololol so uhhhhhhhhhhh. anyways. let you get back to scrolling or swiping or whatever. I’ll be finnee totally. just. here

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nickfowlerrr · 11 months

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not being able to fit in even with the groups of ppl who don’t fit in lol sometimes it feels like this high school mentality will never end.

#ranting in the tags #not that it matters but i’m sensitive so i’m gonna complain no matter what #being called a loner all your life then turning it into some kind of badge of honor #bc it’s the only way not being able to click with or connect with ppl stings less #it only works for so long. and when it stops working… lol. just kinda sucks ig.#like every negative trait i was told i have is just reinforced bc duh!!! ding ding ding it’s all making sense ofc ppl don’t wanna talk to u!#i don’t talk enough or make a good effort or i talk too much and make no sense or come off as rude #and either way i’m off putting and it just takes too much effort to be around me #it’s like i make peace with these things and then one fucking thing happens and i’m being slammed back to 15 year old bella mentality again #it’s so exhausting and i’m so tired of being upset that i’m not good at like being a normal functioning fucking person #and ppl try and connect with me but i just give absolutely nothing in return bc i don’t know how to!!!#genuinely like how do ppl just talk to each other? how do you all have friends and make it look so easy and natural #like it’s obviously probably easy and natural bc it’s supposed to be and for some reason i just like… can’t?#okay. whatever #doesn’t matter anyway i’ll go on living #just hate being sad over this. it feels so lame lol.#oscillating between self obsession and self pity every two weeks or so i’m actually so fucking over it hahaha #but it’s cool. i’m cool. rant over 😚#bella complains

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fairy-ganj-mother · 2 months

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right as i was ruminating on 2014 last night, nick texted me and said he's been thinking about that time a lot too and listening to our fave songs from then

#then i looked thru the few pics i do have and there are so many cute ones of parvaneh//us together #i miss u sm and i don't know what to do about it bc the whole situation was incredibly confusing and frustrating to me #i just want to talk about the music we used to listen to and the stupid shit we used to do #i feel like we're all telepathically ruminating on that time together lolllll #the weird nostalgic telepathic rumination vibe lmaooooo #i've also been wanting to contact stefan but not totally sure how #omg parvaneh if u ever talk to me again i actually have some funny tea for you via harry y. being my neighbor now #this is pathetic of me hahaha #when u miss ur best friend enough to subtweet them in the tags of ur tumblr that they blocked but not just text them #punch me in the face #but also i feel like the ball is in your court as the one that cut me off and blocked me #i would put upside down smiley faces here if i wasn't on my pc #t

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clemencetaught · 11 months

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@jeoseungsaja sent in: things you said when fear cut deep (THG verse? 👀) || when the unspoken is named ( things you said prompt. )

13. things you said when fear cut deep

What was the point of two years ago?

He rushes past the receding crowd, past the faces of shaken children dressed in their evening best clothing. Some will be going to the red bean pastry booth by the entrance of the reaping. Some will linger at the edge of the square. Some will return to the safety of their parents’ arms. All are safe from the Capitol for another year. It’s a luxury that, even after winning the games, he’ll never have again.

There’s a stone anchored in his stomach, which is ironic considering that his head feels light. Dizzying as if someone has filled his lungs with smoke.

I won the Games. I survived their game.

His bag is slung loosely over his shoulder. He learned that the lighter he packs, the better- the less of District Three, the less of him the Capitol will find out and if there is one thing Patrick knows about the Capitol, it’s that they will take, take, and take until there is nothing left to take from, like a towel wrung of all the water it can hold. Ignoring the shouting from the head peacekeeper and the mayor of their district ( both of whom, he can’t help but wonder if they played any role in the selection this year- ), he slips past the peacekeeper guarding the room farthest down the hall.

It was the room he had been taken to when he volunteered for the games- Patrick never thought he’d see the inside of it again.

Fingers trembling, he grasps the doorknob. The rusted brass scrapes his right palm.

I did it so he wouldn’t have to.

Ambrosia’s voice keeps echoing in his head- the way that cloying voice called for Lee Hyuk and the way the silence in the following moments rang so clearly in tandem with his own silent screaming for someone to volunteer, it could have been even louder than Ambrosia’s voice.

And he never thought his dear friend would either.

He’s not going to make it.

He opens the door.

Inside, Patrick finds Hyuk pacing. Where are the other people, he wants to ask- where are Mister and Missus Nam? He would have thought they would be one of the few, if perhaps the only two who would want to say goodbye…it’s a stark contrast to the female tribute whom from what Patrick observed in passing, to have quite a few people coming in and out of her room. She’s lucky in that sense- knowing she has a family. Knowing that she is loved.

But Hyuk-

His hands are shoved inside his pockets. From afar, Hyuk looks no different than usual, a solitary figure with a permanent frown etched onto his face- they always said that if he smiled more he could actually be considered handsome. Hyuk would always snap back saying to mind their own business. It’s Hyuk’s default, showing a stony resolve in the face of adversity-

But Patrick knows, knows his friend better than anyone else. Knows from the pallor on his face, from the way he can’t sit still otherwise he never move again, to the way his jaw is set even tighter than usual-

For a moment, Patrick stares at him. He opens his mouth- what does he say here? How does he help his best friend who is about to be carted off to the Capitol as cattle?

Patrick closes his mouth. He can’t. But he swallows the lump into his throat and without warning, tackles Hyuk in a hug.

I failed.

He tucks his face into the crook of his dear friend’s neck as his hands grip the back of his button down for dear life. He squeezes his eyes shut, trying to calm the shaky breaths that come out. This is all Patrick is going to take. One moment of despair, of selfishness and then it’s all about Hyuk.

Patrick looks up and rests his hands on his dear friend’s shoulders.

“You’re not going to die,” Patrick says finally. “Not if I’m here.”

His fingers dig into Hyuk’s shirt. He doesn’t know who he said that for- for Hyuk or himself. That Hyuk is still here. That the Capitol hasn’t made a feast of him yet. No Hyuk is still here right now. They may have been given the worst cards, but the round hasn’t started yet. If played well, Hyuk might just make it through.

“I’m going to be your mentor; I know a few people in the Capitol- I-I’m sure if I convince them, they’ll sponsor you. They’ll give you the supplies you’ll need to survive in the arena. You’re strong and you know how to fight- they’ll back someone who they think has a chance of winning. We just need to make sure you leave a strong impression. I’ll teach you everything you need to know about the Games. I know it’ll look like the odds are against you, but, but-” A shaky breath. The 54th Victor of the Hunger Games blinks, rapidly.

I don’t want you to die.

“We’ll get through this together. I promise, Hyuk-ah. We…you-“ He pulls Hyuk into another tight desperate hug. “You’re going to be okay; I’ll make sure of it.”

#jeoseungsaja #jeoseungsaja ( lee hyuk. )#if he wasn't there i wouldn't have a reason to be strong ( hyuk — verse three. )#a question of justice ( answered. )#the victor ( answered. )#the victor ( verse three. )#HAHAHAHAHA HELP ALEX I'M IN PAIN HERE 😭😭😭#i just realized that if they're like 17-18....then that means they're not even college age....even younger than when they met in main verse #😭😭😭#which means i have to use his younger fc for this 😭😭😭#hahaha he's not even letting him think on the possibility of hyuk dying here #u said fear in patrick's heart for this verse and my first thought went to hyuk being reaped 😭😭😭😭#but also i know you're still putting the pieces together for hyuk's story in this verse so i hope?? it's okay if i've already made a tag #for them....bc at least know what role hyuk would play in this verse...for someone who is like deeply de*pressed #hyuk being a constant and also maybbbeeee being one of the few reasons patrick keeps going...tracks :'D #there is nothing but pain here and you'll love it </3 #i do 😭😭😭#pls do let me know tho if anything here doesn't line up with what you have for hyuk in this verse tho!! or if anything doesn't sit right #with you #THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ENABLING ME HERE ALEX <3 <3 #i can't wait to suffer in hyurick feels here with you <3 #and pls!! have a wonderful day in the meanwhile- care you lots :DDD <3

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larentslovechaos · 1 year

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officially in a situationship

god i hate this woman i simply don't want to talk to her anymore

#katelyn rambles in the tags #personal post #we talked on the phone the other day and she said she meant some of what she said #when we hung out when she was drunk #and last night when we were texting she basically implied she didn't mean it #she was like holding my hand and rubbing my back putting her hand on my waist & stuff #she said she was really drunk & just thinks i'm pretty #i think.. i deserve so much better hahaha #like how do i stop this #she just got out of a 2 year relationship #i think she truly just enjoys taking advantage bc i can't be mean to her and i don't have boundaries #which i've gotten better with so i'm gonna let her know that #she was basically my bully in middle school #so i feel it's still very much that but just in a much deeper level now #lowkey wish i just wouldn't have texted her back that day

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reserve-polarity · 1 year

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Sometimes I feel selfconcious reblogging a bunch of stuff in a row from one of the ppl I follow but then I remember I literally follow them bc I like what they rb and post of course I wanna reblog a bunch of it too ....

#sometimes ppl apologozise to me about going thru my art blog and liking and reblogging a bunch if stuff #like it's and not suoer nice to see in your notifications #and it put the fear in me that some ppl are actually mad at other ppl for liking and reblogging a lot of their stuff #esp if it's not an art blog....#but I sure do hope it's just an insta remnant mentality #still the constant fear of being precieved and judged...hahaha I don't have a proboem with that what are you talking about #babbling #i was not made for the internet iswg #how did that first creepy tag get in there get out!!

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im-no-jedi · 1 year

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was really hoping I could get myself to work more on my current story today, but no, my brain has decided to inundate me with thoughts about TCW era Random Squad stuff instead, thaaaaaanks Firebrand lolololol

#specifically Nova stuff really #got reminded of the Citadel arc again #and now I’m just stuck on thinking about how she’d deal with that #aka how she’d completely ignore her own feelings in favor of dealing with Fives #’hey buddy you look down; wanna go get real drunk at 79s hahaha’#cause we ALL know Fives was MISERABLE after losing Echo #and Nova’s gonna focus on that and not her own grief cause who needs that amiright #she gets the whole Random squad to help Fives have a good time #Rex doesn’t get invited which sure he’s cool with that sure yup uh-huh #he’s not a party guy; it’s fine it’s fine #Fives is happier with Nova and Nova is happier with Fives #he’s not gonna put himself in the middle of that nope #*COUGH* anyway y’all wanna hear more about my love triangle shenanigans or nah ROFL #🤪#what tf do I tag this as #MLWTBB chatter #technically????#but also #OC: Nova #I guess?????#idk ROFL

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rosicheeks · 1 year

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From the fun asks - 1, 31, 46, 71?

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

more cereal 🥰

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

Ohhhhhhhh I’ll go off in the tags about socks 🥰

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

Gee-I’m-a-tree 🤦🏽‍♀️😂

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?

Honestly I’m not a huge tea person. Mainly cause I haven’t tried many and I want to try them but they expensive and I’m scared I won’t like it hahaha

#honestly I’m not 100% if I do more cereal I think it depends on what kind I’m having #if I’m really craving it I fill my cup all the way up #and yes I said cup cause I like to eat my cereal out of a cup or mug 🥰#ok ok ok SOCKS where do I begin I guess I’ll start with the original questions and if I have anything to add haha #I loooooove socks 🥰 my feet are very particular hahaha and I need to wear a very specific type of sock #like i don’t necessarily mean a specific brand but like sometimes I put my feet into socks and I instantly take them out cause the texture -#is bad or it’s too tight or idk #my ex always made fun of me for my specific sock *things*#I used to be a looooot worse #like I would have to wear the same brand BUT not the same sock cause obviously young rosie thought that was bad luck #so I would refuse to wear the same sock buuut I’d have to wear the same brand or kind of that makes sense???#and then I would want to try and match up pretty colors that worked together hahahaha I’m really weird shhh #also I LOVE fuzzy socks #but uhm I have to wear my normal socks under them cause I can’t stand the texture on my feetsys #but I love how warm and fuzzy they are!#I do sleep with socks if you couldn’t guess from my previous tags hahaha idk when I became so obsessed with socks #I refuse to wear white socks nope sorry #I remember my geometry teacher telling me this pun in like freshman year of high school???#I would LOVE to be a tea person omg #I have a collection of mugs and when I move I want to start collecting more cause cute mugs are 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰#I remember when I was more into vocal training I would drink tea and lemon water #ahhhh the days #I should go back to that I miss it #thank you for the questions lovely!!!#wishing you a lovely day/night 🥰#ask #lovely mutuals

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inupibaldspot · 2 months

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From you, For him

| Part 2 of At him, For him

Note ₊˚⊹♡ : Normal like no curse and stuff AU where Gojo is in love with Geto’s lover but this time he has the chance to change everything. This contains time travel!

I wrote it in a way you can understand what’s happening even if your don’t read part 1 btw

·:*¨༺ Part 1 ༻¨*:·

Gojo Satoru feels as if he can’t breathe.

He inhales. His chest hurts and he has a horrible attempt at keeping his glazing eyes in check as he fakes a smile and claps his hands together; there was a blur silhouette of Geto and you in a distance in tears ,both wearing matching rings.

“Woah—! Congratulations you two.” Shoko smiles wildly as she brings her hands close to her mouth,cheering. She briefly turns to Gojo and looks back at the couple. “Keep it together,Gojo… you’ve done that for years so why bother showing it now.”

Gojo lets out a laugh. “How cruel…” of course Shoko knows he has had this unrequited love for years. He breathes out. “I’ll head out for a second.”

Shoko nods as she reaches out and puts a cigarette and lighter in his pocket. He mutters a ‘thanks’ as he opens the door, cold breeze immediately greeting him. He breaths in again as his hands search for warmth in his pockets, turning to the alleyway.

Once when he is secluded, he brings out the piece of cigarette Shoko handed him earlier as he places it in between his lips, his hands bringing up the lighter with one on the lighter as the other hand wraps to protect the small flame.

He did not smoke often—more like he didn’t even the last last time he did. Gojo sucks in a breath, his throat feels hot but his chest is lighter, no-he remembers smoking back in high school simply because of Shoko and Geto. His only two friends would leave him for smoke breaks and he didn’t want to be left alone so he simply picked up the habit.

Gojo quit after he met you since he didn’t feel the need to tag along Geto and Shoko anymore.

Somewhere in between college,meeting you and now, he didn’t seem to care anymore.

“Hey kid.”

“Fuck!” Gojo jumps, his teeth biting into the cigarette as his eyes glare sharply in the direction of the sound. A man sits along the far end of the alley way, away from him.

The white haired man contains his jumped heartbeat as he walks over the man who called him over. His eyes trail the dress he wore; it was a traditional dark piece of clothing and beads around his hand. This man was cosplaying as a Priest.

He didn’t say the word ‘cosplay’ lightly because first, to begin with, the man in front had a ‘magic ball’ in front of him as if he was waiting for people to share their future and second, he wasn’t too serious because boy—! That monk had thick hair on his head, not the shaven look you’d normally see.

Gojo met scammers; near the shopping center, outside popular restaurant and tourist attractions, by his house ringing on his doorbell and right now, infront of him.

“What‘cha gonna tell me,old man.” Gojo says as he peers in, with also taking in a puff of smoke. “That I’ll be having a wife and two kids in my 30s… If it’s not that, it means one of you is lying.” By ‘one of you‘ refers to the scammer-I mean fortune teller he let in his house because he was bored.

“Hahaha-! That’s not it.” The man laughs as he faces Gojo directly, it was then when he finally notices a stitch mark which stretches across his forehead. “Just wondering if you’d ever regretted things… ‘things’ which you wished you could go back and change..”

Gojo laughs as he drops the half-piece of cigarette on the ground, stomping on it. No long interested. “Of course. I still wish I could go back in time and not erase my answers because my teacher made all the answers to the MCQ ‘c’ just when I didn’t study.”

Fuck—just why did Yaga REALLY do that? Gojo thinks back at the thought.

“That’s what I like to hear.” Gojo turns when he hears the man speak.

The man stands close—very close to him as his hands were making a V-sign (a peace sign) , fingers pointed near his eyes before the old man was stabbed into his eyes.

“Oh my god— shit! That hurt, old man.” Gojo places his hands on his eyes as he tries to soothe the pain from it. “What are you trying to do—huh…?”

He blinks once.

Twice.

He takes a deep breath. ‘It’s fine.’ He thinks to himself. ‘I’ve just lost my mind a tiny bit because y/n and Suguru are getting married.’

Gojo let out the breath and opened his eyes. Same scene. He was by a tree, near a building; he remembered this place being behind the building for the Class 1-3 who were studying the normal curriculum whereas advanced classes of class 4-5 students were in another building.

“What the actual heck is happening?” Gojo grumbles as he looks at the calendar on his phone. He was back in high school. He was sent back in time by about 7 years. “Fuck… I guess that man wasn’t a quack….”

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

“That’s why I need you to help.” You wiggled your toes in your shoes as you stand, smiling. The teacher,Yaga Masamichi, was in front of you, sitting on his chair as he continued to talk- maybe complain would be a better word- about a certain boy from the advanced class. “The boy is smart but he lacks discipline! He needs someone as hardworking as you and maybe it’ll rub on to him.”

You’ve heard of Gojo Satoru. You’ve never seen him but he was very infamous in high school . First, for being the son of the Gojo Estate. Two, for being a very tall, conventionally attractive boy. Third, for being a delinquent.

And that last part bothers you a lot, you’ve heard him get into fights, rumors of him smoking along the alleyway, ripping love letters into pieces and recently he skipped over all his tests making him fail his mid-terms.

You gulp. Hope he doesn’t beat you up…

Just then the door to the staff room slides open. You see enter, he was tall with white hair and lashes and the eyes in the most beautiful shade. No way this was Gojo right? He was so— beautiful.

Did he just make eye contact with you?

“Gojo come here.” Yaga calls out as he huffs. Gojo clears his throat as he walks to the teacher. When he was close enough Yaga continued. “This is y/n and I’m assigned to be your teacher. She’ll make sure you get all your works done plus make you study for the reassessment for the exam you skipped on.”

You watch Gojo who was towering beside you raise his hands and brought it up to his face, but from the angle you see the upward turn on the corner of his lips. Why was he smiling?

“Isn’t this -he points at you- from the normal department?” You huff when you were referred to as ‘this’. “You sure she is smart?”

“Don’t mess with y/n just because she isn’t from the advanced class— And also! In the last exam she was placed third overall , right below Suguru.” Yaga shouted back.

Your eyes trail back to him when the boy beside you seemed to still, You’ve heard of Geto Suguru too. Apparently a boy from the advanced class who was also popular for his good looks. But not only that— he had a delicate aura around him which makes people like him and to add on he was very much academically smart.

Gojo lets out a breath, as if it were more of an amazement in your opinion. You watch him take a small step back as he turns around and gives you a smile, god was unfair when he crafted this smile. “Then please take care of me, my tutor.” His face was close to yours.

‘My.’ You face almost burst with heat.

“Gojo stop bothering y/n.”

“Ouch—! That hurt sensei.”

Ever since then, once you hear the bell ring indicating school was over for the day, there would be Gojo poking his head into your class with a boyish grin plastered on his face, he takes your book-filled bag, slings it over his shoulder as you guys would walk to the library.

He sometimes passes by your classroom which is in the opposite building whenever he wants to go to the restroom in between classes—I mean he never did specify which restroom, hoping to catch a glimpse of you.

And when he does, his gaze flickered towards you, taking in the way your gaze reflected the warm sun from outside.It becomes clear to Gojo then that even now, despite everything—in between ever but of confusion, anger and guilt, he doesn't actually want to lose you. To his best friend. To anyone else.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Warm.

The way the curtains fluttered from the gentle wind, letting in a cool breeze and a glow of the evening sun and you. You sitting not even an arm's length away and just like the pace of his heart which picked up, pushing every worry he could still have further and further away because there was no space for those in that moment.

There was just you. And he could feel your presence a lot closer now, her warmth not far away from him.

God, you were beautiful.

So beautiful, he would not mind spending the rest of his life memorizing each feature belonging of yours.

“Stop staring at me.” You let down the pen you were holding, looking away from your homework.

“I can’t stop.” He admitted.

You huff, the smirk on Gojo widened as he could see a faint color rush to your cheeks. “Just do your work…” you wave him off as you grumble.

“I’m already done,love.” He continues his teasing.

You pink as you let out a small shriek at the nickname; you rush close to him as you cover your hands on his mouth. “Shut up—Gojo, I don’t want to be murdered by your fangirls because of this.”

He pecks your hands by pursing his lips forward, into the palm of your hands making you shriek once more pulling away.

“Gojo!” You glare at him as you reach your hands out and comically wipe your hands on his blazer as he laughs at your reaction. He leans forward as he looks at your books. “What’s this?” He asks.

“Ah…” you say as you bring out a book closer to him. “I’m studying for my entrance exam for this university.”

“Already?” But that’s like months away.

“Yeah.” Your voice is laced with a smile, gojo almost sees shining glitters surrounding you. “It’s like… kind of my dream as a kid to go here.”

Gojo laughs at how adorable you sounded. “Why that university though?”

“My parents-“ you turn almost too quickly to face him but then you stop yourself as you clear your throat. “My parents went there and that’s how they met and fell in love.”

“Ah…” Just like you and Geto… His heart pains again as he is reminded.

You bend down as you lean your head on the table, letting out a sigh with your hands on your sides. “I hope I get in though…”

“You will.” He says confidently. He knows you will. “Nerds like you will get in.”

“Gojo, I’m not a nerd.”

“Whatever you say, princess.”

“I’m not princess either!”

“Sure thing, love.”

“Oh— Gojo,stop that!”

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

“I need you to be serious, Satoru!”

He listens to you shout, even without turning to your direction he could basically sense you ‘huffing and puffing’, a habit you took till adulthood. He reaches out into the bushes, pushing the leaves away. “I am—! Sheesh, let me breathe.” Gojo laughs.

You two were currently near the patch of grass by the football ground; you had lost your key to the music club room—a room which was basically unused but you guys needed a room so you two can continue on with your study lessons.

You bend to look over the bushes while Gojo does around the bushes checking every shrub. “Oh lucky— someone’s cigarette and lighter is hidden here.” His smile widens as he reaches out for the gift, someone had kept here. “Satoru, don’t steal others' stash.” He puts it down upon hearing your words.

“So this where you go after classes,Satoru?”

He knew it was inevitable but he hoped he could extend it for as long as he could.

In front of him, holding a key was Geto Suguru, smiling at him with Shoko, a lollipop in her mouth peers over from beside him. “What you doing?”

Geto throws him the key at him which is catches instantly.He wanted the two of his friends meet you but he selfishly hoped it would be after like maybe, after you and Gojo date. Wow—what an optimistic! Gojo gulps, afterall what would he do if the two of you fall in love again?

“You found it!” You jump, unaware that the two figures were his friends. You turn your head to look at him, at him. Despite Geto Suguru standing near you, you looked at Gojo. The white haired boy’s heart pulsed, the slow and steady pump now erratic and heavy with emotions. Just you looking at him with a smile, at him like he was the only one on the planet m. For the first time.

“Who is this?” Shoko says as walks to to the bush and sticks her hands in. You laugh. “That cigarette was yours?” Shoko nods.

“This… this is y/n.” Gojo grumbles, speaking low. “She is helping me with my reassessment.”

“That’s what you get for skipping assignments and test.” Shoko teases.

Geto laughs.

Gojo eyes at your reaction and sighs in relief when you were still acting the same. Thank god, there was nothing of that ‘love at first sight’ going on. “I don’t need to take those test.Even Yaga knows I’m smart.”

Your roll your eyes. “I guess we won’t have those study sessions of now on, Gojo.”

“Wha— no! I need it.” Gojo jumps, as he comically starts shaking you, as if he got the most shocking news of the century. “No- nope! You can’t do that. I need you—!”

“Geto, let’s get going now.” She turns. Shoko looks over to Gojo, they make eye contact and the brown hair girl smiles.

He knows that smile.

That’s the smile Shoko gives when ever she figures out something. And equipped with a teasing look, Gojo is certain she knows that he is in love with you. “Good luck,Gojo.” With his studies or with you? Geto gives you guys a wave as he also turns around and walks way.

From then onwards, it’s as if the friendship which you guys have in the future,college days were happening now. Hanging out, study sessions, sometimes sneaking into parties and café date; the four of you. Just like right now as you’re in Gojo’s room, a flat rented nearby your future college.

“No way.” Shoko starts. “We’re all going to be attending the same college.” Her smile widens when you cheer and jump into her arms, she quickly looks over and sees a fond smile on Gojo’s face…hilarious!

Geto laughs as he takes a sip on his coffee as the two girls snuggle closer to each other. “Did you know about this?” He peers over to Gojo who finally seemed broken from his trance—you.

Gojo nods. “Yeah… I mean I’ve seen her study for her exams.” He clears his throat. “Have you played the new ‘digimon’ game?” He changes topic, whenever Geto speaks of you or to you, it makes him feel small. This isn’t good. He relishes this yet it was suffocation. Gojo would never hate his best friend—never, but sometimes it’s insecurity and sometimes it’s guilt which swallows him whole. ‘Is this okay?’

Shoko breaks away from the hug and she pulls on your cheeks fondly, she thinks you’re the most adorable human as she turns to Geto. “Smoke break.” Geto smiles and nods, following behind Shoko who led the way.

Gojo turns to you, eyes carefully trying to take in your presence that is before he notices something—your eyes are ‘lingering.’ He follows your gaze, carefully in the direction.

You were looking at Geto.

All emotions are wiped from his face. Gojo knew this could happen, you can fall in love with Geto all over again. He was the one who was messing with fate and time, yet— it hurt.

You turn to Gojo, your face tilts up to meet his gaze as your lips turn into a teasing smile which quickly flatters when you see Gojo’s expression. Your heart settles and softens, you relax and reach over the table to grab one of his hands. “…Satoru?”

He turns to you, and smiles. “Yes?”

“Are you okay?”

“No…just thinking.”

You gulp wondering why it felt as if suddenly there was a huge rift when they were barely centimeters apart; for someone as big as Gojo his voice was so—so small. “…About?” You were almost scared to ask.

“Are you in love with Suguru?” Gojo beats himself for this, he has gone and done it now!

You tilt your head. “where did that come from?”

“Friends don’t give each other love-filled lingering looks.” He scoffs. “So tell me-“ no he was being pushy. Gojo felt so backed into a corner for a moment but when he locked eyes with you, he was hurting you with the way he was acting.

He stands up. “I think I need some fresh air.”

“If I did love him, what would you do?”

Were you testing him?

“Please—please don’t fall for anyone but me…” he mumbles.

You watch as he slumps down on the floor, on his knees, burying his face into his hands, curling up almost as if to protect himself. Gojo is no longer confident egoistic boy you know, right now he seemed so weak; as if he was tired after a long journey. “I have surrendered myself to you for all of time; past, present and future I am yours…”

Your head is dizzy with all this information. You need time, you need clarity. Gojo feels like he is losing himself in his thoughts and also rambles with no coherence to what his mind has to say. “I don’t know what do do with this emotion but if I try to stop them they overflow and-”

His heart seemed to thud to a stop in his chest and then start up again erratically, hands seemed to be incapable of doing anything other than hang close by his sides.

“Satoru, I love you…” you whisper and it is only then when he realizes you were also on your knees in front of him, thumbs wiping tears from his cheeks. “I’m sorry for joking— I don’t love Geto. It’s you I love. Don’t hate me?”

How can he hate you when you were still his everything: you were his everything even when you were intertwining hands with someone else?

“It’s me?” He breathes out. “Did you say you’re in love with me?”

You nod.

“Oh wow.” He says which makes you laugh.

“I love you…” He says, years of these words inside the depth of his heart, was dug out. “From the bottom of my soul, I’m head over heels for you, my love.”

You almost cry at his tone, so gentle.

He caresses your hair, tenderly, running his fingers through the soft, silky strands. When he eventually has his hands on your cheeks; your cheeks flushing as he gazes at you, captivated by your presence. Your eyes sparkle with wonder, your lips plush and rosy.

You are flawless, perfect in this moment and beautiful in his embrace.

Gojo didn’t even realize when he started to get so close to you. His lips pressed against her pulse in a kiss before he nipped the skin.His limbs burned where he touched you, you were warm. So it was cold after all, he realized somewhere along the line. His hands were freezing, clinging to your lower back.

Gojo wants to stay like this, holding you for a minute longer or forever.

A whisper in his head was telling him to let go—that it wasn’t right, but Gojo wouldn't. He was hanging onto a life line, it hurt, but if he let go now, he would drown.

Gojo was vulnerable. And you kiss him back. Kiss him till he is fine. Kiss him until all his worries fly— till he understands, you are equally so stupidly in love with him.

Unbeknownst to you two, Shoko peeks over inside the door, a small crack reveals what’s inside “You think they’re done?”

Geto laughs. “Of course not…but give them more time and they’ll be in bed.”

Shoko laughs lightly making sure she isn’t spotted yet as she then peers over to the taller boy beside her. “What about you? You good?”

“Yeah… it was just a crush.” Geto looked at Shoko from the corner of his eyes and his lips curl into a smile. Shoko was always so observant.

Taglist ˙✧˖° 🫧 ⋆｡—I tagged people who voted for time travel! Hope you guys don’t mind: @uuu55r64z46 @leviswifey-act62 @royaleashlyn @bakananya @bejwls @ritsatoru@washeduphasbeen @satorus-babygirl

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