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omegangrins · 3 years

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A Rant on the End of Tremors 7: Shrieker Island

As the main man said,

Throwing caution to the wind because this blew up elsewhere.

If you can do it with Justice League, fuck it, let's do it for every shitty movie we've got.

While we're at it, can we change the ending of the 7th Tremors movie so *MAJOR FUCKING SPOILERS* Burt Gummer doesn't die or at least bring Jamie Kennedy back, or Marvel style recast Jon Heder, so he dies saving his son instead of a random-ass person who could have easily saved themselves. Or cut the forced montage of Burt clips at the end so his death is at least ambiguous. Seriously beyond pissed about that one. THAT is no way for him to go.

I would also like to point out that the next Tremors *HAS* to be titled Tremors 8: Ouroboros and bring everyone back for Burt's funeral . Otherwise, what's the fucking point?

I have feelings about it, people. *FEELINGS!!!*

One of my favourite childhood memories is picking out Tremors 2 from the local gas station's movie rentals and forcing my parents to watch it. I was probably 5-6 at the time.

Let's say that it's been a lifelong love affair ever since. It took me another 10 years before I even watched the 1st. Probably why I hold good sequels in such high regard.

I didn't even know about the 1st until it played as a trailer in front of 2 and never thought to watch until years later. That's a testament to its filmmaking if I ever knew one.

So seriously, that's how they chose to kill off one of the most well known and prolific characters in a movie/TV series known around the globe? With an unnecessaryily needed death and a montage of clips from all the other movies that are obviously better than this one.

And I'm saying that as someone who defends Chibnall/13th Doctor...

...and I'm fucking fuming because THIS is how you *actually* destroy something people love and hold dear to their hearts. It's like the ending of Game of Thrones. His shitty ass death has made it a loooooot harder to rewatch. And they are one of my favourite series!!! Not flawless but fun. But I will defend every other movie and all the episodes except this. Honestly I'll still defend 7/8ths of this one as well.

Like I said, it's easily fixed too. Fucking vice versa swap out Jon Heder for Jamie Kennedy, who the movies have been building up for the last two, and have Burt save his son in front of his old flame. Boom, you won't even need the montage of clips cause you can just have Travis and his mom reminisce about Burt instead. Show not tell. I don't even care he died by Graboid (although in all honesty, I've allways wanted El Blanco to take him down or Burt kills himself from the PTSD. It would have AT LEAST MADE SENSE. Hell, the best would be a heart attack to callback Val's "Yeah, Burt, the way you worry, you're gonna have a heart attack before you get a chance to survive World War Three.". But none of us ever get the best death.). And it's not even about Burt sacrificing himself to save a nobody. Cause that could work too. BUT YOU NEED TO BUILD THAT SHIT UP. Not just fucking drop it like it's hot.

Like I said too, the first 7/8ths ain't bad but it's an entirely different story than a swansong for a hero.

It's all about some billionaire scientist/cowboy hunter dude who likes to get his jollies off hunting the biggest and the baddest who ends up inviting people to this island so they can hunt down Super-Graboids he designed for shits and giggles. But then some Shrieker-fy....

And the pretentious douches come and die one by beautiful one while Burt tries to save them anyway and it's all spectacularly dumb fun until it comes crashing down in the final 10 minutes. Fuck, they should just cut the last 10 minutes. Then it's a perfect little Tremors ditty.

#RELEASETHE7THTREMORSWITH10MINUTESFROMTHEENDCUT

This isn't even about Jon Heder either. He's just doing his job. Hell, do what /u/VoiceofRonHoward pointed out.

"It is clear that Jon's character was just pasted in over Jamie's, the artifacts of the father-son relationship are all over it. They should have gone full Marvel and just replaced Jamie with Jon and acted like nothing happened."

CAUSE FUCK YES!! The only time a story sucks is when they don't commit. Commitment makes all the difference. Now, I'm pissed double-pissed they didn't do that instead since Heder and Kennedy are similar in terms of white-boy-ness.

Even Michael Gross agrees:

"Yes, yes. Now I can't presume to speak for Jamie [Kennedy]. My understanding was they asked him and he said no. And so that's why they went with somebody else. So I had nothing to do with that decision. I just heard the stories. I missed him for that reason. You begin a relationship with the character, and you want to continue it....

...As you build a relationship with this son, we had two, it would've been nice to have three, but that was the hand I was dealt."

One of my favourite bits of Tremors lore comes from the 5th too so it's not like I hate sequel changes out of hand:

"This is a warrior dance. Our ancestors hunting the lnkanyamba and the Impundulu.

"What's that?

"Impundulu. It's what you call the Ass Blaster.

"Ass Blaster.

"Yes.

"Hey, you know, you make Ass Blaster sound good.

Primitive cultures fighting Graboids, Shriekers and Assblasters. I just love that thought.

Hilariously, my meta opening to the 8th movie would be a flashback to 10,000 years ago and a Neanderthal-like Burt Gummer teaching others how to drive Graboids off cliffs like they did with mammoths.

Thank you for giving me the space to rant. Cause fuuuuuuhhhhhhhhuuccck!!!

Here's Michael Gross' own words from his AMA that prove the people making Shrieker Island didn't know their shit.

"The Tremors series is one very close to my heart and I want you to know how appreciated your continued effort is for your core fan base.

My only question would be were there ever any studio decisions made for Burt that you refused to comply with? Or was everybody pretty much always on the same page on what to do with the character?

Thanks again for your dedication.

- Josh"

"Thanks for the kind words, Josh. As regards the first four films, with Wilson and Maddock as the writers, we were very much on the same page. 5,6, and 7 were a bit different, because there was a 13-year hiatus between 4 and 5, and we had to refresh our memories while "reinventing" the franchise for a new audience. I will give you one example: in an early draft of Shrieker Island, a new writer wrote a draft where Burt threatened to shoot one of the bad dudes, and I had to tell him—this is true—"Burt never intentionally points his gun at another human being."

And his own thoughts on Burt's "death" and how to bring it all back together again.

Universal and the director [came] to me with this idea, and they said, 'This could be emotionally very powerful, if we have to say goodbye to this man after 30 years. And I hemmed and hawed, and I thought about it a little bit. And I said, 'You're absolutely right about the emotional gut punch this can be.' And I said, 'You're going to hurt a lot of people's feelings.' And I said, 'But I thought this franchise was over after four. So I could certainly live with it being over after seven.'

"What we negotiated -- well, it wasn't really a negotiation, we all agreed on this -- is that we kind of left the door open. >!Because although Burt is gone, we never see a corpse. We never see his remains. Everybody assumes he's gone. Is he buried somewhere? Is he unconscious somewhere? We never see Burt dead. We see Burt gone. We see Burt not returning. What does that mean? Has he been knocked out? Does he have amnesia somewhere? Does he wander off? Is he in a kind of coma? So yes, the way it ends is pretty profound."

"As regards to the end of Tremors 7, let me just say that while people ASSUME Burt is gone, we never see his remains, do we? Just sayin.'

"The only reason he has become the main character is that everyone else in the original cast moved on to other things. I NEVER thought of him as the central figure, but it just worked out that Michael Gross, like Burt Gummer, was a "survivor." :0) "

"No one would like to see it more than I!!! One of my greatest regrets is that so many other cast members fell away over time. Reba was on to other things, Kevin said no to a second, Fred said no to a third. I would LOVE one last go with all of them, but it is not up to me. :0( "

"There are no guarantees, but for those who wonder aloud if this is the final film, I will say what I have said before: SALES drive sequels, Show biz is 5% show and 95% business, so if this latest addition to the Tremors franchise, sells well, [Universal] will follow the money, and Universal Pictures Home Entertainment may will be back for more."

/u/ActorMichaelGross, the bell has been rung and the song sung. Get the producers on this ASAP!!

I was also the first person to discover the symbolic foreshadowing of Stumpy's end with Earl's sleeping bag in the original movie.

Let's just say, I really *really* love these movies. So if anyone knows anyone, hook me up to the producers of this series and I'll Justin Lin in the Fast and Furious out of this shit.

Since I don't think it's good to critique without proposing either, I say we can make up for this fuck up with the next movie. We'll call it Tremors 8: Ouroboros. After the snake which eats its own tail.

We find out Burt faked his death to get the Proudfoot Corporation to let down their guard and when everyone from the previous series comes back for Burt's fake funeral they give him ever loving shit for being such a paranoid whack-job that he would fake his death to fool a government agency. Why would he do this? He found an old photo of Hiram Gummer with a Graboid warning on the back and asks himself why this valley, why these things, why allways me? And we find out, it's not Burt. It's that lifestyles of extremes will end up in places of extremes. Burt and the Graboids are survivors of different species. Sure the Proudfoot Corporation IS using Mixmaster to combine Graboids, Shriekers, and Ass-Blasters into one super creature for the military but it pales in comparison to Burt looking at his life and wondering in shame how many ancient giants like himself he has killed. And with that, he actually dies, and we keep the ball rolling with the rest of the characters trying to stop what they allways thought was just another one of Burt's crazy conspiracies.

That's why it's Ouroboros. Everything comes back around. We could end/start the movie with Grady, Earl, and Jodi opening a Monster World in Perfection Valley a la Desert Jack's Graboid Adventure. I don't know. I'm fucking trying harder than the people they paid to do this already.

It ain't perfect but I'm building on sand here so changes are gonna get made.

Like if the makers of Tremors notice this,

Then DM me because fucking A you guys need some help.

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weirdthoughtsandideas · 5 years

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The Quagmire-Baudelaire switch part 1: Don’t worry world don’t feel disgrace

Reference guide

Chapter 1: A very sad day

There is a long reference to the Catalan Kids show ”the triplets” but it’s explained there what it is and what it’s about

”Quiet you will wake up Tweedle dee and Tweedle dum” a reference to the characters of the same name from Alice in wonderland

Chapter 2: Why Mr. Poe should not take care of guardian choosing

”One bed.” Isadora sighed. ”Fantastic.” A reference to the deleted scene from the 2004 movie

Chapter 3: Olaf slaps a child (or technically a teenager)

”Quigley had got stuck on a story about three children that ran away from home, and they just found a homeless man that sold glue” A reference to the swedish movie, ”På rymmen med Pippi Långstrump”, or in english, ”On the run with Pippi Longstocking”

”Duncan had found an autobiography about some girl that claimed she was the most prettiest (...) girl in the world.” Reference to Carmelita’s autobiography

Chapter 4: A spoon of complaints and a cube of evilness

No particular references in this chapter

Chapter 5: Duncan is made for theatre

"Only something about a lady giving all of her money to her cats after she died, so the butler kidnapped them and then he got himself to Timbuktu." Obvious reference to Aristocats

Chapter 6: A long and confusing chapter including a play

No particular references in this chapter

Chapter 7: The Quagmires first (and last) day of school

”It was the roof of the house she and her sister lived in. And the girl wanted to see if she could fly, so she borrowed her dad’s umbrella and jumped of the roof to see if she would fly away!" A reference to Astrid Lindgren’s ”Madicken” which is the book Isadora was reading

”(...) You can't kill the one who the story is about!" Reference to all the... stories where the main character dies?

”(...) And you were already weird because you just invent things and have to put up your hair to think!" This is most likely a very famous character they have encountered

Chapter 8: Everyone is unharmed in the reptile room

”Holy shiitake mushrooms.” A reference to Carmen’s catchphrase in Spy Kids

Chapter 9: Why Stephano is something you shouldn’t name your child

No particular references in this chapter

Chapter 10: Stephano gets kicked out (or does he?)

No particular references in this chapter

Chapter 11: Stephano goes Carrey-style

"Probably some old man's fucking bones." A reference from a line in IT chapter 1 (2017)

"Did he just do a Carrey?" This refers to the title but also the fact that in the 2004 movie, Olaf, played by Jim Carrey, just dashes out of the house when he’s Stephano.

Chapter 12: Three four year olds vs a large lake

No particular references in this chapter

Chapter 13: No one listens to Quigley

"I remember a lot of things from my early childhood! Like the time we broke that spoiled girl's teddy (...)” A foreshadowing to a later chapter

Chapter 14: The Quagmires have various conversations

No particular references in this chapter

Chapter 15: Candy canes for the people

I don’t know if it counts, but Poe calls the Quagmires the wrong names multiple times. He calls them the ”Baudelaires” and the ”Calibans” for example.

Chapter 16: Isadora speaks like a finnish female pirate

"Shiitake mushrooms." Again, a reference to spy kids

Chapter 17: Everything happens so damn fast

No particular references in this chapter.

Chapter 18: Why Duncan hates treehouses (and trees in general)

"Don't call me Ish!" ”Why would he call you Ish?" A reference to a certain dictator who doesn’t force you to use that name

"Tattle-tale." Isadora whispered grumpily. Hard to know, but it’s actually a reference to Berlioz calling Marie a tattle tale from the Aristocats

Chapter 19: Phil is happy to be your co-worker

"I had a dream where I lived in ancient Greece and met some girl with black hair and a bowtie who wanted to tell me something." Ok. In ancient Greece lived Sappho. Sappho was a poet, just like Isadora. The girl with black hair and a bowtie is a main character in asoue.

”(...) what kind of irresponsible teacher would just forget three children they are responsible for?" A reference to all the fucking irresponsible teachers in the world

Chapter 20: Duncan gets dust in his eyes

"Duncan, I can assure you that nobody here will break their arm or leg for that matter due to any wood." Fooooreshaaadoowiiiing~

Chapter 21: Inordinate amounts of weird behaviour

No particular references in this chapter

Chapter 22: A fatal, optimistic accident

"Why, but you are so small!" (...) "Uh, yeah?" Duncan said, "We are children." A reference to a line from Charlie and the chocolate factory from 2005

Chapter 23: A real fatal accident at Lucky Smells

No particular references in this chapter

Chapter 24: The Quagmires kill a spoiled girl’s teddy bear

Carmelita’s mom is named Veruca, based on Veruca Salt

Chapter 25: New school, new chapter

No particular references in this chapter

Chapter 26: Where the shipping starts

No particular references in this chapter

Chapter 27: Very lovely indeed with a twist

No particular references in this chapter

Chapter 28: Olaf ruins everything

”What if we walk in on him stroking his violin?” I did this joke some chapters ago but this time someone else than Nero says it. It’s a dirty joke.

Chapter 29: Why many children was afraid of P.E after reading the austere academy

No particular references in this chapter

Chapter 30: An examination gone wrong

”This is a solidarity act” Violet is bisexual and Isadora is a lesbian. It’s a WLW solidarity

”Quigley, what color were the elephants I saw floating in the sky (...)” ”Pink” This is a reference to pink elephants on parade from Dumbo

”What comes after ’love love, peace peace’ in the second chorus of the song?” ”It’s ’and a burning fake piano” THIS GUYS is a reference to the song Love, Love, peace peace from Eurovision song contest 2016.

Chapter 31: Rich kids exploring a rich party

No particular references in this chapter

Chapter 32: A penthouse of familiarity and funny names

”I am Isadora Avi Quagmire.” A reference to the actress Avi Lake who played Isadora in Netflix

The hairdresser is named Bobbi, after Bobbi from Phineas and Ferb (who also was a hairdresser)

Chapter 33: Gunther ruins everything, yeah thanks for that Gunther

”I have seen stranger things.” ”We all have.” A reference to Stranger Things

”My name isn’t Quiglefort.” ”Yes, it is.” Foreshadowing to a thing in part 2 of this AU

Chapter 34: This abyss of world destroyed

The title is a reference to the Gothic archies ”This abyss”

”Don’t worry Baudelaires, don’t feel disgrace (...) The Quagmire triplets are on the case.” Reference to that poem from TAA, and also a reference to the title of QBS. Part 1s undertitle is ”Don’t worry world don’t feel disgrace” and part 2 is ”The Quagmire triplets are on the case”

Chapter 35: Runaway triplets

”Duncan? Did you just OD in there?” A reference to Steve and Robin’s famous bathroom scene from stranger things

Chapter 36: Too many rules for a village

”Rule 2001 says ’do not quite people from other universes’.” Quigley said shiitake mushrooms, which I have explained twice is from spy kids. Spy kids came out in 2001.

Chapter 37: Why children shouldn’t help someone out of jail

”(...) if the council of elders find out-” ”We’re dead!” A reference to a line from stranger things 3 episode 1

There’s a whole paragraph where Duncan said he has checked atleast ”seven million billion thousand times” and then the triplets remember how they used to dance around a coffin in their uncle Elwyn’s house. That was a reference to the musical Fun Home, particularly the song ”Come to the fun home” where the children make a commercial about their funeral home.

Chapter 38: An emotional escape

”Shit.” (...) ”Where?” A reference to when Violet said ”rats.” in TVV, and Klaus thought it was actual rats. But, in the swedish translation they translated ”rats” to ”shit”. I thought it was so funny I had to include it here

That was all for part 1! Thanks for supporting this fanfic of mine!

#asoue #asoue au #isadora quagmire #duncan quagmire #quigley quagmire #the quagmire triplets #the quagmire baudelaire switch #violet baudelaire #klaus baudelaire #count olaf #esme squalor #reference guide

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