#I had this drawing sitting in my program for a while waiting for the 10th and I missed it dawg darn

[trunklewunjle]

I forgor to post this yesterday ૮(꒦ྃ⌑꒦ྃ)ა

——

Shattered belongs to galacii (Dream by jokublog)

Cross belongs to jakei95

My brain ran dry after that first prompt

#undertale au #utmv #cross sans #shattered dream #dark cream week #dark cream #SNIDF SNDIF USGRH I LOVE THEM DO MUCH I LOVE THEIR DYNAMIC I LOVE EVERYHTING ABOUT THRM #I had this drawing sitting in my program for a while waiting for the 10th and I missed it dawg darn #I was gonna switch shattered to a suit as well but I started feeling burnt out so I decided to take a break and look at suit designs and #never came back to it </33333

[liquid-luck-00]

Maribat Secret Santa 2020

@maribat-secret-santa-2020

Happy Holidays everyone🎁

In my defense there was a minimum of 2000 words and there was no max so this ended up being 6112 words sorry, I think. There is some Adrien, class and Lila salt, Adrien gets some sugar later.

Without further ado @eve-v0lution I am your Secret Santa, enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~

Marinette has never been a normal girl. When she was born the goddess Tikki appeared claiming her as her chosen and the next Ladybug. She was born the granddaughter of Ra's Al Ghul, the head of the League of Assassins, the sister organization to the Order of the Miraculous. Her older brother, and twin, Damian was called to be the next Demon.

When they were five, she was taken to the Temple of the Order of Miraculous. she and her brother kept in contact, but it wasn't much more, than 'yes I am still alive, are you?' which was fine with them. As they were often trained together by both the League and the Order.

A week before they turned 10, she was named the Great Guardian and given the Miracle box. On their 10th birthdays he returned to the League to support her brother as he was officially named the heir of the Demon. However, things never went that smoothly. Slade Wilson led an attack on the League killing their grandfather. Damian rushed on to fight the Mercenary. She followed at his side the only thing she said before entering the fray was "Duusu fans" and combat fans dropped into her hands.

Between the two of them, they pushed Deathstroke back. However, he didn't retreat before throwing a sword at Damian. She called upon Wayzz's "Shell-ter" catching the sword in the shield’s dome. She took the hilt of the blade before dropping the dome. The two of them shared a look before running to find their Mother. Together they used Kaakli's portal to go to the Order.

However, they were met with an equally gruesome sight. Many of the monks laid dead, those that weren't were not in much better of a condition.

A single elder survived, speaking of the simultaneous attack on the Order and League. He told them that he will rebuild the order, but that Mari needed to keep the Miracle box safe. In the end Mother told them that she will be leaving them with their Father.

To say it was a surprise that their Father was Batman would be a stretch. Mother and Grandfather only allowed perfection, so not as surprising as one would think. Batman being Bruce Wayne, sure that wouldn't be her first guess but so what. What actually surprised her were her new brothers.

Damian hated them but she loved their antics. Where Damian became the next Robin, Mari stayed in the cave manning the comms as well as their numerous and often injuries.

However, when she did join everyone on the roof tops, Scarlet joins them. A red cropped hoodie that ended a little below her ribs. A long sleeve Kevlar shirt with a high neck. Black gloves and arm guards were holding the sleeves of the hoodie down. Her pants were the same Kevlar as the shirt and was just as formfitting, there were guards on her thighs that wouldn’t impede on her movement as well as knee pads connected to the shin guard. Short combat boots, a red sash tied to her waist hiding the utility belt and yo-yo, and a mechanical mask that conceals the bottom half of her face. And to top it off Tikki turns her eyes violet and her hair to white.

"Scarlet" Nightwing called to her. They were partnered and patrolling the west side of Gotham.

"Yes"

"Let’s race"

"What do I get when I win?"

He held his hand to his chest in mock hurt "Just so you know one week, anything the winner says is law for one week for the loser"

"Make it one favor redeemable whenever and you've got it" she challenged. He was torn but he agreed.

"Count me in" they heard Red Hood.

"Same" Red Robin also entered "Robin?"

"Tt. No"

"Fine. First back to the cave wins" Nightwing answered. "Go!"

She swung through Gotham and dropped into a pitch-black alley 'voyage' Mari whispered too low for the comms to pick up. Dropping through the portal and into the cave. Her transformation dropped and Tikki went to sit on her shoulder. Alfred was there waiting, Duusu perched on his shoulder as well, with a tray of cookies. She gave him a nod in silent thanks, as she still had a comm in her ear.

Ten minutes later Red Hood pulls in and was about to celebrate when both Red Robin and Nightwing crash into him. Creating a mess of limbs over the motor bike.

"Ha I win now you guys owe" Jason was about to rub in his victory from the bottom of the pile when Mari giggled, pulling the attention of her three brothers.

"Sorry Jay but you lost" she, Alfred, and the kwami were clearly in the middle of tea and cookies.

"She is correct Master Jason. Miss Marinette has been here for the past 10 minutes"

"Tt. Honestly don't race against some one who teleports." Damian grumbled as he walked away from the Bat-mobile.

"Don't worry. I'll wait until you forget you owe me to cash in" she smiled wickedly. "Good night."

And that was when they remembered 'Right Mari has the ability to use the powers of several pocket-sized gods' that was a lesson they wouldn't forget soon. Well Tim and Jason didn't forget; Dick would still bet against her though.

Jason found out she is the perfect prank partner. And no one in or out of the manor was safe. How they managed to swap all of Green Arrow's arrows, each being a different gag, was a mystery even Batman couldn't or wouldn't attempt to solve. The fact that the Justice League saw and heard Batman fall to the floor laughing, scared most of them from finding out. Those who didn't learned what happens when you don't leave well enough alone.

School was well boring; between the curriculum of the League and the Order she had already gotten 2 PHDs and 5 masters. School was nothing more than a pleasantry at this point. Father wouldn't let them out of school, something about needing to be normal kids. That only seemed to draw the twins into the spotlight more, because they were the only two blood children of Bruce Wayne. Damian became known quite fast as Gotham's Ice Prince, but Mari became known as Gotham's Sunshine just as fast.

But don’t let the name fool you, within the first year their classmates learned that yes Damian Wayne is scared of something, and that something was actually a someone who just happened to be his twin sister. Damian apparently was feeling petty about something, and for the life of her she can’t remember what, but he decided to write in big red letters ‘NO!!!’ across every page of her sketchbook. She found that out during lunch, and that was when the entire school learned that the little sunshine child was the only thing that can put the fear of God in the Ice Prince.

---

Freshman year Mari finally got her Dad to agree to letting her into the exchange program for the next four years.

So, she decided on Paris.

Why, why did this exchange have to be four years long. I’m not gonna survive this.

Admittedly it started off okay, okay not really but then things went downhill, fast, faster than you could imagine.

It started when she met her host family. They met her at the airport and that was an experience, I guess.

"Mlle Wayne? Correct" a tall slender woman in glasses asked her.

"Yes Madame" she replied with a polite smile.

"Natalie Sancoeur" the woman replied "And this is" she started but was cut off by a boy around her age, he had blonde hair and green eyes. But what stood out to her was his attributes reminded her of an overexcited and hyper puppy.

"Adrien Agreste" he smiled at her, so she did what was expected of her in polite society.

"Marinette Wayne" and she extended her hand to shake his. However, instead he pulled her into a hug. Once she realized what was happening, she pushed away from him and took a step back. She looked at him and her thought of him being a puppy was only reinforced with the look on his face. So, she looked at Sancoeur, while the woman looked at Agreste with indifference she looked at Mari as if she was in the wrong.

This is going to be great. Was the only thought as she endured the drive to the Agreste household.

Agreste would not shut up the entire way and seemed to be hurt that she didn't answer him. Agreste was also the one who was to give her the tour of the mansion. It wasn’t so bad it gave her the chance to gauge the defense systems, which was lacking, and the layout was simple compared to the Wayne Manor, the League's compound, and the Order's temple.

Unfortunately for her, Agreste ended the tour with her room and then proceeded to sit on the bed and continue to ramble about whatever was on his mind. She did try to get him to leave but that was a complete waste of time and effort. Kwami it was like he couldn't hear me or more likely didn’t even care about my opinion. So, she put in her headphones, hid them behind her hair, pressed play to of music and went to unpack.

As she was finishing setting up the bathroom she noticed, like every other door in this house, there was no lock.

Ugh I need to speak with Monsieur Agreste.

She went back out and saw him. Agreste was at the desk where she had set her laptop and was trying to open it.

"Excuse me but what are you doing?" she asked pointedly, having taken out her headphones and set them in the case.

"I was trying to see what you had on your laptop" he shrugged "can you tell me the password to get in?"

"No" she deadpanned; he had the gall to look shocked. That was when Mme Sancoeur entered the room, without even knocking.

"Lunch is" was all she said before Agreste cut her off.

"Natalie make her open her computer for me" Agreste whined.

She was about to speak but Marinette beat her to it. "Um No. What I have on my personal computer is none of your concern" his face fell while Mme. Sancoeur pursed her lips. "Furthermore, I am assuming since you are at the desk, the bed is askew, and the drawers are open and my clothes are in shambles you were going through my things" she was now glaring at the blonde invading her space. Now he had the decency of looking ashamed. "Am I to assume lunch will be held in the dinning room?" Mme. Sancoeur only nodded, and she left the room.

Lunch, if you can call it that, was also a disaster. Apparently, Americans eat chicken noodle soup, a hamburger, and a load of fries. Because that was what was set in front of her.

Ugh this is going to be a long four years.

"Mlle. Wayne, I hope everything has been to your liking" M. Agreste, Gabriel, as he introduced himself earlier spoke. “You have hardly eaten.”

"Would you prefer my honesty or would you rather me lie to you" Marinette responded swirling the water in her glass.

"Your honesty" he answered slightly unsure.

At this she scoffed "I am going to assume that you and no one else had bothered to read the file of my information that was sent to you" he as well as Mme. Sancoeur remained quiet "Because if you had you would know I am a vegetarian."

Mme. Sancoeur searched some thing on her tablet and there was a soft "oh" from her.

"Your son is also suffocating, to the point that when I asked him to leave the room so I could settle in peacefully, he remained as if I hadn’t asked him to leave" M. Agreste was going to say something but she continued "He also has no sense of privacy as he went through all of my belongings and was attempting to go through my laptop as well." Again, he was going to say something, but Mari continued. "On the topic of privacy neither the bedroom door nor the bathroom have a lock."

“Paris is completely safe, as the house is protected, it should not matter if there is a lock on the door” he replied in a monotone.

“I’m sorry doesn’t matter, in what universe is it alright for two teenagers of the opposite sex be in a house where one of said teenagers doesn’t respect the other enough to leave them alone” she almost started yelling, but kept her head and voice level.

M. Agreste didn’t respond right away, but he gave a small hum before stating that “I will take your request into consideration.”

“Alright, just know that I will guard myself and will not hesitate to use force if necessary” she knew they wouldn’t take her seriously but hey I am warning them, they only gave a nod that they heard. “Also M. Agreste I tend to have a strict morning regimen is it possible for me to continue it using the home gym while here?”

“Of course,” he waved dismissively.

“What does this regimen include?” Mme. Sancoeur asked politely.

Marinette had a wicked smirk as this was going to be the lightest of her routines, she could give but would still most likely shock them. “Oh it is nothing much just a 5 kilometer run as a warm up, then half an hour of boxing, a half an hour of sword forms and training, half an hour of holographic combat training, followed by half an hour of ballet, and half an hour of meditation.” She was smiling watching their reactions and it was priceless. “I usually start around 4 in the morning.”

All of them were shocked, and who would blame them, here I am in my 5’2” high glory with a sunshine disposition stating I can most likely drop kick them into next week. “Actually, if you don’t mind, I was unable to do it this morning on account of being on an airplane, this will be a good way to see the city” so she smiled leaving them gobsmacked.

Finally, she was able to breathe as she ran the streets of Paris listening to her music softly. Back at the mansion she had figured out she had an audience less than ten minutes into boxing, but she continued. As she was about to start the holographic training, that Tim, Barbara, and she had created, but by now the entire Agreste household was watching her. “If you’re only going to watch me leave or else have the decency to spar” she shot at them.

“I’ll do it” little Agreste spoke up “But if I beat you, you’re giving me your computer password.”

“Fine, but when I win, I get locks on both my bedroom door and the bathroom inside” she challenged.

Agreste senior nodded his head and replied bored “Only if you win.”

“First to be knocked down three times loses” she grinned. She went to grab her two training twin swords and handed one to little Agreste.

“These are real swords” he exclaims clearly off balance by the weight of the weapon.

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic, neither have an edge” they got into positions and it was easy to see who would be victorious. I got locks and some privacy oh the small victories are truly sweet.

---

Sunday was uneventful, but so long as she was in the mansion for meals unless she had checked in with Mme. Sancoeur, she was free to her own devices.

Monday she would come to regret that it had to end later, but not for a while at least.

Mari rode to school with little Agreste and that was her first mistake. Everyone in the entire school watched her exit the car added to the fact that she's starting in the middle of the semester and that kicks.

She was wearing a charcoal shirt splattered with metallic red paint, a faux caramel brown leather jacket with a hood, black jeans with burgundy all stars. Her hair was down, and a black messenger bag was over her shoulder.

She got out and simply walked in and towards the main office ignoring everyone, she got her schedule and a map of the school. The principal himself walked her to her homeroom and to her horror little Agreste was in the class.

"Mlle. Bustier" he spoke. "Meet your new student."

"Please introduce yourself" she spoke with a sweet smile.

"Bonjour my name is Marinette, and I will be a part of your class for the next four years."

Marinette moved to take the open seat in the back but of course Little Agreste had to speak. "Mari there is an open seat behind me."

It took all of herself control to not facepalm. "I prefer the back"

"I'll spar you for it"

Now she couldn't hide the smile in her eyes or the one playing on her lips "Okay Agreste, but what makes you think you'll win this time?

"Fencing uses lighter swords" he answered mumbling the end.

"Wait why are you challenging the new girl?" a boy in a red hoodie and two-toned hair asks.

"Probably to redeem his honor from our last bout" she was now smiling. Maybe this won't be all bad.

"Then I get the next challenge" the same boy answered confidently.

"Alright" she agreed "Name your sport, um..."

"Sorry Le Chien Kim" he supplied. "Swimming freestyle"

"You're on" a devilish smirk on her lips. Afterwards everyone introduced themselves and she sat down in the back.

They spoke with M D'Argencourt about it during lunch and he told them to wait until after school for the fencing club to set up. So, they did. Honestly, the class isn't so bad, just a little pushy, apparently a student isn't here today but should be back soon. When they all went back after school, that was when Marinette saw her.

"Gami" Marinette ran to the girl in a red fencing outfit and gave her a brief hug.

"Mari-hime what are you doing in Paris?" she asked.

"Exchange program" Mari waved it off.

"Your brother?"

"Not interested" Mari responded.

"So why at the fencing club?"

"Agreste challenged me."

She looked towards the blonde and gave him a pitying glance. "Then you should both change"

"Right" Mari called as she went to the locker rooms. Her uniform was a red bodice with black sleeves and pants, but the gloves, shoes, and socks were a shade of green so dark it appeared black, the stitches on the entire thing were in golden thread. Both her saber and helmet were a combination of black and gold.

They both got into positions when Marinette heard her.

"This is going to be a slaughter" and Gami was right.

Faster than anyone could blink Mari had scored a touch before little Agreste even moved.

"Huh and here I was hoping for a challenge. Agreste" she turned away from him and faced Kagami "Match?" was all she asked, and the girl stood and faced Mari.

Facing Kagami was like fencing Damian. Both are powerhouses and decisive, but Mari's strength was in speed and agility. They met each other strike for strike, she is probably one of the few civilians that may be a match for her and her brother. By the end of practice, she was offered a spot on the team which she accepted.

To little Agreste's dismay Kagami offered to show her around Paris, to which she had agreed.

---

One-month Mari had to settle into her new class. She made fast friends with Le Chien, after their swimming match where she also met a girl named Ondine, Alix Kubdel was next she is competitive with a need for speed, side note never let her meet Jason. Max Kante and Nathaniel Kertzberg were also added to our little group. She met Luka Couffaine while wandering Paris for inspiration, they became fast friends, and she designed the costumes for Kitty section as well as their Demo Album cover. The final and most shocking, apparently, addition to their group was Chloe Bourgeois. Along with Kagami her small group of friends were unshakeable and for the next four years will be thankful for them.

After that one month, a weasel entered the class. Her name was Lila Rossi and everything that came out of her mouth was a lie. Honestly, Mari wouldn't give her a second thought but then the strikes against her grew.

Lila's first mistake was lying about her best friend, Jon, or in reality about Superboy. Oh, she was in a relationship with him. Sorry but Jon is super bi, but leans towards men more, like a walking romantic mess that was a golden moment when he figured it out. The same can be said when it finally dawned on Damian when he figured out for himself. As the amazing sister that she is of course she would tease those two. But the teasing and cooing only escalated when the two started dating. So ya not buying that he took you out, much less as Superboy.

Lila's second mistake was threatening Mari in the bathroom. Please if your going to threaten someone make sure you aren't being recorded. And second don't threaten a Wayne, especially an Al Ghul turned Wayne. So, Marinette recorded every lie, every threat, and every reaction. If she were going down not even the Devil himself would think to help her.

Unfortunately, it had a rather annoying side effect. Little Agreste kept pulling her aside to try and make peace with the liar.

"Please Marinette, can you stop calling out Lila" he repeated for the up-tenth time . They were on their way to dinner about two months after Lila rejoined the class. "Just take the high road"

They were in the hallway outside of the dining room.

"No" Mari stated as calmly as she could. As they both walked in, Mme. Sancoeur and M. Agreste were already inside.

"Why? Her lies aren't hurting anyone"

"Not hurting anyone" she spoke finally turning towards the blonde "What unicorns and rainbows paradise do you live in?"

"Wait, what?"

"Nino almost didn't enter his script for a contest because Lila said she would get someone in Hollywood to help produce it" she answered "It took Max, Nathanial, and I almost an hour for him to submit it on the thought it couldn't hurt"

"Okay that's one"

"Alya's reputation as a reporter is plummeting. She doesn't fact check and believes Lila solely on the idea that 'Lila wouldn't lie to her'. Where Lila uses her blog to spread her lies."

"Yes but no one believes everything they hear or read.”

"Really" Mari arched her brow, Alfred would be proud "then explain how most of Paris believes you and Lila to be an item"

"Mlle. Wayne came to explain" M. Agreste finally spoke.

"Oh, most of Paris believes that your son is in a romantic relationship with Lila Rossi" Mari spoke calmly as she opened her phone and pulled up the post from Alya's blog to show the screen.

"What?" the confusion was clear on little Agreste's face as he also pulled up the blog. The meal for her was quite quick but M. Agreste held back little Agreste.

Mari was sketching in the quiet of her room latter that evening when she heard a soft knock at the door. She opened the door and there stood little Agreste fidgeting.

"I'm sorry I never liked how Lila hung off of me but that was harassment, then I realized that's what I've been doing to you I am so sorry. You probably hate me for how I acted, and I understand if you can't trust me or forgive me and I'm sorry." He spoke so fast and barely breathed as he turned about to leave, but he stopped when Mari spoke.

"Okay. Redo"

"What?" he asked tilting his head.

"Let’s start over" she smiled.

"So, you forgive me!"

"No, I am not forgiving you" he looked saddened "I will hold you accountable, but I am, willing to start a new chapter."

"Okay” he looked a bit relieved.

"Hello. I am Marinette Wayne." she extended her hand to shake his.

"Adrien Agreste" he smiled shaking hands. "I'Il get out of your hair then." he sent a small wave that she returned and left.

---

Okay so maybe I exaggerated a bit, but Lila did make these past three and a half years a living pain. Mlle. Bustier fought to keep their class for all four years. The only addition was Kagami in the second year of Mari’s exchange.

But here she was sitting in the back with her friends waiting for the last class of the day to start. Then it happened Principle Damocles and Mlle. Bustier walked in.

"Mlle. Wayne" Damocles called.

"Thank the gods" Mari stated packing up her things and she walked down. "I would say it was a pleasure but that would be a lie" Mari just finished speaking when Alya decided to open her mouth.

"Where are you going class hasn't even started." Alya smiled trying to get Mari in trouble, but neither adult did anything.

"If you really want to know because it seems you've forgotten. I am a foreign exchange student from America, where I will be finishing the final term." Her words must have made some sense to their one community brain cell because they nodded, and she left.

Marinette flew back to Gotham and oh was this going to be great.

Of course, when she landed Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn, and Catwoman were making mischief in the airport. She recorded a video of the Bats stopping them, of course they were monitoring it because of her flight but I digress, and Nightwing lecturing them while Batman looked so done. Along with Jay-Jay or really Red Hood taking Mari's phone and taking a selfie with her, her hair was in braid tucked into a black beanie with a pair of red sunglasses. A halter top that had a golden rod yellow X on it. The top quadrant was red, and the rest was back. A black sweater lined and faded to red at the bottom. Comfortable black and red leggings with black flats. She posted the videos and picture captioned 'Back in Gotham. Home Sweet Home! Hood give me back my phone.' on her public account, before even exiting the terminal.

Her class will be here in about two weeks and stay as long, but right now she need a good stretch.

She found Alfred and loaded up her bags into the car and jumped in, told Alfred, transformed, and portaled out. As soon as the portal closed, she was in the middle of a huge hug from all her brothers. Patrol wasn't too bad, there was a run in with the Riddler and a separate incident with Killer Croc but that is a light day in Gotham.

After patrol was mostly filled with junk food, video games, and movies with her brothers.

Going back to Gotham Academy was like she never left. In a way she didn't, as every break she made sure to spend some time with her friends, dragging Damian with her. She would constantly text or video chat with them. To the extent that they knew about Lila and her class, almost as well as her family.

Two blissful weeks of quiet and patrols filled with teasing and bets was amazing. Yes, she will miss patrolling with Nightrunner. Yes, he is part of the extended Bat clan, but it is different with her brothers.

---

Three days granted that was longer than Marinette gave the class to avoid a villain attack. Of course, it had to happen when they were visiting, WE. Dick had volunteered to lead the tour, mainly to get more evidence, but Mari wasn't there. Since she was on break, she decided to take lunch for her brothers. The cafeteria food was good but still, and Tim would probably be holed up in his office.

She was in a blue collared button up tucked into a black skater skirt. A black and indigo letterman Jacket, black glasses frames and blue heels finished the outfit.

"Nettie?" Dick asked when she entered the cafeteria.

"Brought you lunch." Dick's face lit up.

"You are a god send"

She giggled as he took the food. "Not exactly but close."

"You going to force Timmy to eat"

"Yeah. Is he still in his office?"

"Should be"

"See ya at home Dicky Bird" she turned and found herself facing her class. Most of them registered she was there and glared at her seemingly guarding Lila from her sight, her friends noticed her so she sent a wave to Kagami, Chloe, Kim, Alix, Nathanial, and Max.

Getting Tim to eat usually proves a challenge. Mostly because he has one hand glued to a coffee mug and the other on his work. Yet when you make an entire meal into finger foods that are perfectly bite sized it is a breeze. She was going to leave when both Tim's and her phone shot an alarm. It was from Dick 'WE 2 Face' In a flash Mari transformed and waited for Tim, opened a portal, and fell into the lobby.

The two of them took out the goons and restrained them before turning towards Two Face.

"The word on the street is that you and the bird are dating, and you know the Bat." Two Face spoke out to everyone, "Let's hear what other secrets these lips will spill." A gun was held up, presumably to the teen's mouth, but neither Red Robin nor Scarlet could see.

He was clearly holding a teen hostage, and that was when they saw the two hanging sausages, Lila. For the first time since Mari had known her, she was quiet, or at least silently whimpering.

"So, who is she dating?" Scarlet asked yoyo in hand pointing at Lila.

"Robin" she gasps.

"What!?" Both of them yelled before Red Robin started again. "Crap when did I get a girlfriend. Scarlet please tell me this is just a hallucination! I swear if this is, I won’t drink a single drop of coffee for a month!”

Scarlet however was barely standing doubled over with laughter. "She’s a little young for you don't cha think."

"Not helping" Red Robin was in full out panic pacing back and forth trying to comprehend what was being said.

That was when Lila seemed to find her voice again "I'm dating Robin not you."

"Wait, What?" Both vigilantes snapped out of their laughter and panic respectfully. They shared a look and fell to the ground laughing. Two minutes later Batman and Robin showed up. Scarlet and Red Robin were now on their feet but still laughing. No one not even Two Face moved because as everyone knows, Robin is taken and no one will be getting between those two, much less a girl.

"Robin" Batman nodded and to the two laughing teens, Robin nodding in acknowledgement.

"No need B" Red Robin finally stopped laughing.

"Hey Birdie when did you get a girlfriend?" Scarlet asked fully knowing the answer already.

"Tt. Don't be idiotic Scarlet."

"Then why is she saying she is?" Two Face now had the bat fam's attention.

"Who are you?" Robin asked the girl pinned between Two Face’s arm and gun.

"Apparently the girlfriend you never knew existed before three seconds ago." Red Robin supplied, now fully enjoying the shock on his brother’s face.

"Is that why you two were laughing like idiots?"

"Well yes" Scarlet spoke up then whispered 'Voyage, Venom' and Two Face became frozen in place.

Lila was now glaring at Scarlet as she began to yell "What the hell. Why didn't you do that sooner!"

Scarlet snapped her fingers and pointed at Lila "Oh now I remember you" she semi shouted getting the attention of everyone in the lobby. "You’re the girl from Paris who said she was dating Superboy." Lila now seemed to significantly pale.

"Are you saying this girl has claimed to have dated both Superboy and I" At this point both Scarlet and Red Robin had moved and were physically holding back Robin.

"Scarlet" Batman called.

"On it" 'Voyage' "Hey Supes your boyfriend needs you" Superboy then took Robin in a hug from behind resting his chin on top of Robin's head. Her brother now willingly refraining from moving to stay in his boyfriend's arms, while Red Robin left to talk with Commissioner Gordon.

"Miss you are lucky no one was injured, and we were here to take action, your fantasies are just that. Let's go" Batman had lectured the girl who could have been switched with a statue at this point.

All the vigilantes left, and Mari sure as hell made certain Tim finished his food. In fact, he hadn't even changed out of his Red Robin uniform, so Mari guarded the door. She only left when he finished eating, knowing he could now fully react.

Mari was walking out of the elevator and into the lobby and you could practically see the change that occurred. Most of the class were huddled together, her friends were to the side along with Adrien, and Lila was practically glued to the teacher.

She spotted Alfred with Dick not far from her friends, so she decided to go over and speak with her friends.

Unfortunately, that just caused hell's gates to open as she approached, she heard. "You knew she was a liar didn't you" Alya yelled at her friends and Agreste, but Alya was specifically yelling at Agreste. That made her blood boil, so she stepped in.

"Yes, but you didn't believe me when I told you, you didn't believe them either" Mari was now standing between her friends and the blogger. "Agreste didn't want to rock the boat and how you were all treating me it is no wonder."

"Ya but she is a liar, and you are a bully" Alya retorted.

"Was I a bully. Or was that what you were told by the liar" Alya now went quiet. Of the almost four years she was in Paris there was never any proof she bullied Lila. No bruises, no destroyed items, just she said claims. "Yes, I called her out on her lies but that was all. You all were the ones who acted on her words that I bullied her with no proof and bullied me to ‘teach me a lesson'. I have more than enough evidence however, on most of this class and the liar, for cases of assault, slander, defamation of character, and destruction of property."

By now everyone in the lobby was watching this unfold. The class seemed to pale and attempted to shrink in on themselves. Lila and Mlle. Bustier seemed to try to become one with the floor. Her friends were to the side struggling to not laugh along with Dick and Chloe you traitor put down that phone.

"Miss Wayne" an employee came up to Mari seemingly afraid to get her undivided attention.

"Yes" She smiled, becoming Gotham's sunshine that everyone knew, allowing the employee and the other Gothamites to relax.

"The CEO has locked himself in his office and the Board meeting starts in three minutes" the employee fidgeted with the tablet in his hands. That snapped her into professional mode.

"Dick is the tour done?" she held out her hand to take the tablet, opened it and started going trough the documents.

"Ya"

"Go dig Tim from his office. I'll deal with the board."

"On it"

She quickly looked up to her friends "Sorry guys we should catch up later." She walked away the employee on her heels giving her more information.

A whistle was heard next to the group. "Damn I feel bad for the Board members, Mars is on a warpath and not her usual professional warpath" Dick said to Alfred.

"Reminiscent of Master Bruce even" was Alfred's response.

"She really is a Wayne"

"Master Richard"

"Yes Alfred"

"I believe it is in your best interest to retrieve Master Timothy as Miss Marinette is on a 'Warpath' as you say" Alfred barely finished as Dick began to sprint to the elevator. Alfred only sighed as he followed the eldest Wayne child, leaving very bewildered and mortified Parisians in their wake.

#dc x miraculous #dc x mlb #maribat #mlb x dc #miraculous x dc #batfam #marinette wayne #Adrien salt then sugar #ml marinette #damianette twins #damimari twins

[jeranasblog]

You can talk to me about anything

Summary: Peter asks Tony to fulfill one of his fantasies. 

Rating: E

Notes:  This story is my 10th @starkercestevent​ contribution. Kink for the 10th story: Role Play. Click here for the Bingo Masterlist.

Warnings: Adoptive Father/Adoptive Son, don’t like it, don’t read it

Read on Ao3

Peter was thinking about it for months, even before he had done anything with his Daddy. 

 Everything started when Tony was on a business trip in Europe, presenting the latest tech of Stark Industries and the house was empty for the entire weekend. Peter, who had still been pinning for his Daddy back then, looked forward to having the apartment all for himself, not to throw a party but to get off without being afraid to cry his Daddy’s name out loud for once. He tended to become so riled up close to his climax, that he frequently had to muffle the begging for his Daddy in a pillow and he was afraid his Daddy would find out one day. 

 So Peter hardly imagine anything better than jerking off in peace, maybe even using his favorite vibrator that was too loud to switch on when his Daddy was home. He opened the porn site he always visited, one hand already shoved into his boxers, looking for the ‘Daddy porn’ section he was familiar with by now. 

 The first video was short, about ten minutes long and only helped to bring him to orgasm once. His arousal had built up over months. Months of hidden jerk off sessions and quick fingering when his Daddy was still at work, therefore Peter decided to drag it out this day, coming at least twice in the evening. 

 His mind already foggy with pleasure, Peter didn’t read the headlines anymore and suddenly, he found himself watching roleplay porn the entire evening. Car drivers getting fucked by bulky police officers, little twinks bouncing on their teacher’s lap, and patients taking everything up their ass for their doctors. Ashamed, Peter started to realize that he not only wanted to get fucked by his adoptive father, no, he also wanted to pretend to be someone else sometimes. 

 The thought never let go of him, not even when his secret was finally disclosed by his Daddy. In all these months, his mind had traveled back, and since Tony and he stayed home a lot because of Pierce anyway, Peter gave it a shot. He used all his courage and decided to confront his Daddy with his request on a Sunday morning. 

 “Daddy?” He was nervous, fumbling with the sleeves of his oversized sweater and unconsciously biting his lips. Usually, his Daddy initiated new things in the bedroom, Peter had never come up with an idea before, but he was finally feeling secure in their relationship. Tony wouldn’t leave him, he would protect and cherish him, even if he wouldn’t like his idea. 

 The Alpha was sitting on the couch in the living room, skimming through the economy section of the newspaper. He wore his reading glasses and comfy pants, but he was still radiating confidence. When Peter entered the room, he raised his head, looking at him expectantly and waiting for the Omega to speak. 

 Peter couldn’t look him in the eyes, his gaze fixed on the floor. In his head, approaching the Alpha had been easy, but as soon as he really had to talk about his fantasy, the courage was leaving him. Tony seemed to sense his struggle. 

 “Baby, come here,” he put the newspaper aside and gestured the Omega to take a seat on his lap. Without a doubt, Peter followed the command and snuggled close to the Alpha’s chest. His scent was calming, lulling Peter in a feeling of being home and before he could change his opinion, he blurted out his thoughts. 

 “Iwannatalkaboutafantasy.” 

  After his words, he hid his face against his Daddy’s chest. He was blushing furiously, but at the same time he was relieved he got the sentence out at all. Tony stroked his back and pressed soft kisses on his forehead. 

 “Don’t be afraid, baby. You can talk with me about anything you wanna try. The worst that could happen is me telling you I don’t like it, but I promise, I won’t laugh, and I won’t judge you for it. Just give it a try.”

 Peter closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, and gathered all his courage together. “I want you to fuck me as someone else.”

 After the conversation with his Daddy, a few days passed. Tony had been willing to try, had even loved the ideas Peter had. He had been proud of him to talk about his fantasies, to ask for things he wanted, especially because Peter was usually pretty shy. However, the Alpha hadn’t made any attempts to initiate roleplay between them, so after a few days, the thoughts faded into the back of his mind. 

 Peter was busy anyway, working on a project for one of his classes. He was supposed to build a robot and it should have been easy, but he had made one mistake in his programing code and wasn’t able to find it. Over hours and hours, frustration was building inside of him until he finally gave up and asked his Daddy for help. 

 “How can I help you, Peter?” Although his Daddy rarely called him ‘Peter’, he didn’t suspect anything yet, too frustrated from not finding the mistake. 

 “I just can’t find the fucking mistake,” he ran his fingers through his hair until he looked wrecked, his lips swollen from how often he had bitten on them. This shit was driving him crazy and he definitely needed a break. 

 Tony, however, didn’t react like Peter expected him to. “Language.”

 The Omega couldn’t stop himself from looking up stunned. Usually, his Daddy didn’t mind him cursing, even encouraged him from letting his feelings out, but today he scolded him for his language? However, one gaze at his Daddy’s face was enough for him to understand what was going on.

 He knew his Alpha so well by now he could read every single sign of arousal and seeing his dilated pupils and his hungry gaze made it obvious for him where they were heading. In an instant, his mood changed from frustrated to playful.

 “I’m so sorry, Mr. Stark,” he lowered his gaze bashfully. “I forgot my manners for a second.”

 “It’s all right, Peter,” Tony’s chuckle was dark, promising the things he would do to him and Peter trembled under his voice. Anticipation was filling him, lightening every cell of his body and making him squirm in delight. “Now tell me what the problem is.”

 “Every time I turn on the robot, the program crashes after a few seconds. There must be an error in the code, but I can’t seem to find it.” He tried his best to sound innocent and he looked pleadingly at Tony with wide eyes. 

 His Daddy’s gaze turned predatory, and he smirked as he leaned forward. One hand was propped on the back of Peter’s chair while the other one was resting on his thigh, a little too high to be considered appropriate. Tony pretended to look on the screen of the computer, his face close to Peter’s neck and he could feel his Daddy’s breath grazing his skin.

 Peter wanted to throw his head back, wanted to offer it to his Daddy. Tension was building between them and slowly the Omega felt himself getting wet. The scent of his arousal must have filled the room by now, but his Daddy didn’t react besides a subtle stumble in his breath. Peter was fighting against himself, fighting to remain in his role. He wanted this, he wanted to try it out, so there was no way he would ruin this with his neediness. 

 “M-Mr. Stark, t-that’s inappropriate,” his voice was trembling, not from outrage but arousal. 

 “I’m sorry, Peter. I didn’t pay attention.” Tony sounded truly apologetic, but he didn’t take away his hand. Instead, he started to draw circles on Peter’s thigh, his hand wandering higher and higher until he was almost touching his cock. Peter couldn’t stop the moan that slipped past his lips. Acting horrified, he slapped his hand over his mouth, even though it had been too late anyway. Tony’s smirked made it crystal clear that he had heard his noise. 

 “I need some time to find the mistake, Peter,” his Daddy said smugly. “Scoot over, let me have a closer look at the screen.” 

 Peter obeyed hurryingly, standing up to offer him the chair, but before he could even take a step aside, the Alpha had sat down and pulled him onto his lap, back to chest. He could feel the huge bulk pressed against his ass, could feel that the drenched fabric of his pants was rubbing all over Tony’s crotch. For a second, his eyes fluttered close in arousal, his hips moving once and twice, creating delicious friction against his covered hole before he caught himself and reminded him what this was about. 

 “M-Mr. Stark, you can’t just…, it’s not proper, I…”

 “Shh.” This time, Tony’s voice wasn’t teasing anymore but filled with Alpha command. “Be quiet, Peter and stop wiggling, I can’t find the mistake when you act like a needy bitch. Better be glad if I still give you a good grade, even though you need my help with your project.”

 Humiliation was crashing through his body, making his insides tingle with pleasure. Slick was gushing out of him in waves, clouding the air with the sweet scent and he had to fight every urge inside of him to stop himself from moving. Just the imagination that Tony was his professor, using his authority to force the Omega onto his lap, was enough for him to see stars. 

 Tony continued staring at the screen, searching for the mistake in Peter’s code. His focus wasn’t on Peter and the thought made him even hotter. Slowly, his thighs started to tremble under the strain of staying still and when Tony’s finger found one of his nipples, he moaned like a whore for the first time. 

 Suddenly, the focus of the Alpha was back on him again. “Peter, you should be ashamed of yourself,” the disappointed felt almost real. “I try to help you and you act like a needy bitch, getting your slick all over me. At least get off your pants, they are drenched and filthy.”

 The words were the last straw and he started to move his hips again. Being accused of acting slutty, even though his Daddy had pulled him onto his lap, was enough to make his hole clench, to make him shiver with arousal. He knew he was easy for the Alpha, and if his Daddy had been his professor, he probably wouldn’t have been able to stay away from him as well, the attraction between them too intense. 

 A loud smack on his ass made him jump, the slight pain mixing with his arousal. “I said take off your pants. Do I have to repeat myself? Don’t you want a good grade anymore?”

 Oh, god. Peter moaned and scrambled off his Daddy’s lap, pulling down his trousers and his panties until he could finally feel the air against his dripping hole. Everything was turning him on, and before he could think twice, he was back on Tony’s lap, rubbing himself all over the Alpha’s trousers. 

 Tony growled in pretended anger. “What do you think you're doing here? Isn’t it already enough that you are a needy mess, now you ruin my pants as well?” He received a second smack on his naked ass and his eyes rolled back from the delicious pain. 

 “I’m so so sorry, Mr. Stark.” Peter looked at him with watering eyes, his lower lip trapped between his teeth. “I didn’t want it, I swear. Please don’t let me fail this class.”

 The words coaxed the first purr of the evening out of his Daddy. “I forgive you, one last time, but only if you’re good for me. Come on, get me out of my ruined pants, show me how sorry you are.” Eagerly, Peter dashed forward, opening his pants and pulling them down with his boxers. His Daddy’s thick cock was finally free, leaking furiously and Peter wanted nothing more than to choke on it.

 “Make yourself useful, boy.” Tony gestured him to sit between his spread legs, his cock twitching in anticipation of the wet heat of Peter’s mouth, but the Omega lowered his gaze ashamed. 

 “M-Mr. Stark, I can’t. It’s inappropriate.”

 The words made the Alpha growl furiously and he grabbed Peter’s neck, forcing him to his knees and pressed his cock into his mouth without giving him time to get used to it. “Slowly, I start to think you don’t want to pass this class,” he growled while Peter was gagging around his thick cock. “I asked you to make yourself useful and I don’t want to repeat myself.” 

 With a high-pitched whimper, Peter started to work, bobbing his head up and down and savoring his Daddy on his tongue. He trailed patterns all over the hard shaft, sucking every drop of precome up like it was water in the desert. He hummed around it, forcing himself to take more of his Daddy, to take him deeper and there was no way in hell he could pretend he didn’t like doing this. 

 “Look at you, little slut,” Tony’s voice was hoarse. “Acting like a prude although you want nothing more than getting stuffed by your professor. Are you that eager for me? Whoring yourself out to get a good grade?”

 Peter pinched his eyes shut, counting in his head from one to ten. He was so close, way too close given that nothing had touched his hole or his cock, not even his own hands. He had never been so turned on before, wanting to sit between Tony’s spread legs forever. 

 Time lost its meaning with his Daddy’s cock inside of his mouth, it blurred together, left him feeling floaty and content. Everything that mattered was his Daddy, his taste, his scent, his everything, and Peter lost himself in the feeling of his Daddy on his tongue. He felt so filthy, so humiliated, and the shame was fueling the fire inside of him. 

 When Tony eventually pulled back his head, Peter whined in distress. “Don’t act up, you little slut. Sit on my cock while I show you the mistake you made.”

 “Yes Mr. Stark,” his voice was raspy, his throat sore from his Daddy’s thick length, but it didn’t matter to him, made him feel like a good boy instead. His legs wobbled when he got up and the Alpha didn’t help him but watched him struggle for balance. Finally, he seated himself on his Daddy’s lap, Tony’s tip nudging against his hole.

 “You forgot one character. Do you see it?” The Alpha was pointing at the screen, showing him the mistake Peter had made, but the Omega was too far gone to even focus on his code. Everything he could concentrate on was the leaking cock against his hole, spurting precome all over his thighs while new slick was making him messy. 

 He knew it was a mistake, new it didn’t suit the role he played, but he pushed his hips back, impaling himself on his Daddy in one stroke. They moaned in unison. The fit was tight, tighter than usual. Peter rarely took his Daddy’s cock without prep outside his heat, and it was burning, hurting even, but he loved it still. He would be sore tomorrow, maybe not even able to sit and the thought made his insides clench in arousal, gripping his Daddy’s cock even tighter. 

 “God, you are a slut,” Tony tried to sound mean, humiliating, but Peter could still hear a hint of affection laying underneath. “Look at you, I’m not even asking you, but you still fuck yourself on me as if you would die without a proper cock inside of you. Think you might pass if you just act slutty enough?”

 Peter could only moan in return. He was so thankful, thankful for his Daddy’s love, for his cock, and especially thankful that he did this for him. His Daddy length was filling him deliciously, pressing against all the right spots, and assaulting his prostate. Nothing would ever feel as good as sitting on the Alpha’s cock. 

 “Let’s make a deal, Peter. When you make me come without coming yourself before, I let you pass. Let me see how badly you want it, show me how important it is to you.”

 Peter didn’t need to be told twice. He started to move his hips, dragging himself up and down, bouncing on his Daddy’s cock. His own cock was leaking precome as well, still untouched and it swayed with every thrust on his hips. Suddenly, he was overwhelmed with the urge to touch himself, to come on his Daddy’s cock, but once he would touch his erection, he wouldn’t be able to hold back. So he kept his hands to himself, clenched them to fists, and tried his best not to move them. 

 “So tight on my cock, like a virgin. Tell me, boy. Am I the first one fucking your slutty hole? Would you do anything for a good grade?”

 “Yes, Mr. Stark.” Peter’s answer was a breathless cry, his entire body straining from his movements. He lost himself in the fantasy, eagerly bouncing on Tony’s cock to improve his grade. He could feel every bump in his Daddy’s cock, every inch splitting him open and he knew he was close. If he didn’t up the game now, he would come before his Daddy.

 “Mr. Stark,” his voice was wrecked from arousal. “Please, let me pass, please, I’ll do anything, I swear.”

 He got a roar in return. “Aren’t you already doing everything, slut? You are already bouncing on my cock, already crying for me to fill you. What could you still offer to convince me?”

 The question was an easy one but stuffed to the brim, Peter found it hard to think. His legs were trembling, slick leaking out of him and the room was filled with little gasps and whimpers. He propped his arms on the table, the computer screen in front of him long forgotten, moving his hips desperately while he did his best to think about a good answer. 

 “I’ll come to your office twice a week after classes. Let you stuff me full again and again. I won’t tell anyone, just please let me pass, please fuck me, Mr. Stark.”

 Although the pleasure was taking a toll on him as well, Tony pretended to ponder, his eyes fixed on Peter in hunger. He watched his cock disappearing again and again in Peter’s hole, glistening from his slick that was spread everywhere. 

 “All right, boy,” he finally gave in, his hips thrusting up and meeting Peter halfway. “We have a deal. You let me fuck you twice a week and I let a dumb slut pass the class.”

 The words were too much, Peter felt could feel how his walls started to clench rhythmically, trying to milk his Daddy. He was sweating, his entire body shivering in arousal and there was no chance to hold back much longer. Before he would completely lose himself, Peter tried for the last time. 

 “I’ll be your slut, your slave, I promise. I’ll do anything you want. You can mark me, you can breed me, you can show everyone how easy I am for you, how pathetic. Please, come for me Mr. Stark. Fill me up.” The words seemed to hit just right. The moment he felt the heat exploding inside of him, Tony started coming as well, his tip pressed snugly against his prostate. 

 Come after come was filling him, stuffing and marking him, while Peter was falling apart. The movement of his hips stopped, he couldn’t lift his body anymore but thankfully Tony was grinding into him, working his knot into Peter’s body. The orgasm was taking him apart in waves and it didn’t stop, the assault of his prostate making it impossible for him to come down. 

 In contrast to Alpha’s bodies, Omegas weren’t made to come for minutes, but his Daddy was milking spurt after spurt from his cock anyway. The sensations didn’t stop, wrecking him and grabbing him tightly, until his vision started to blur and his body couldn’t do more than twitch weakly. 

 He didn’t pass out this time, trapped on the Alpha’s cock, and pressed against his chest, but he was close. He didn’t want to surrender to the sweet darkness, wanted to tell his Daddy how thankful he was, how good the Alpha had been for him. 

 The knot was catching on his rim, plugging him up with a huge load of come and his own slick. Peter slumped against his Daddy, his entire body going limp from overstimulation and a dopily grin spread on his face when he felt that Tony still hasn’t stopped coming. 

 “Thank you, Daddy. You were amazing.”

 The Alpha purred, content to knot his Omega and he pressed kisses against Peter’s temple. “You were amazing as well, baby. So good for me. I love that you told me what you like, I love that you’re getting comfortable around me.”

 Peter smiled sweetly, turned his head, and pressed his lips lightly against the Alpha’s. The kiss was chaste, sweet, a reminder of how much they meant to each other. 

 “I love you, Daddy.” He earned another kiss and snuggled closer against Tony’s chest. 

 “I love you, too, baby.” Everything was perfect. “By the way, I actually found the mistake.” Peter started to laugh.

#starker #starkercestbingo2020

[falloutdelmarvaau]

Fallout: Delmarva (Chapter 1)

Mission: A S.P.E.C.I.A.L. Assignment

I’m woken up by the sound of my alarm clock playing “Country Roads” again. It’s always been one of my favorite songs. Whenever I hear it, I always get a little lost in the descriptions of pre-war Potomac. Hearing about those mountains and rivers that haven’t been contaminated or blasted to pieces makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Sadly, that world is long gone, and what lived on is an irradiated mess that eats the warm and fuzzy for breakfast. With that thought in my head, I heave a disgruntled sigh and smack my alarm clock to shut it up, ready to begin my day.

With a grumble, I stand up and smooth out the wrinkles in my Vault-Tec jumpsuit. Like the rest of the residents of Vault 26, I never take my jumpsuit off except to shower. Today is not a shower day for me – the Overseer’s schedule would let me know if it was – so instead I simply proceed to the mirror to begin getting ready for my day. My appearance hasn’t changed for a few years now, thanks in large part to the Overseer’s rigorous standards for Vault 26’s residents. My brown hair is short, cropped off right where my head meets my neck. My brown eyes are a bit dull, as they always are this early in the morning, but I’m sure they’ll be full of life soon enough, drawing compliments that I never ask for from the Vault’s men. My cheekbones are a bit low, but that just gives me a strong chin. My forehead is high, proud and true, like the sloping side of a great dome. This is somewhat offset by my nose, which is small. Finally, my lips are full and smooth, which tends to prompt even more rude compliments from the men.

It takes me but a moment to do all that I have to do in the bathroom. I’m not due to join my colleagues for breakfast for another 15 minutes or so, which is nice; I love having time to kill. Sadly, I don’t have a lot of entertainment options in my small, cramped Vault room. So, for the umpteenth time, I grab my S.P.E.C.I.A.L. pamphlet and begin to read it.

This pamphlet is the same one that I was given in my childhood. It outlines all of the things that make citizens of Vault 26 special. We are strong. We are perceptive. We have great endurance. We are charismatic. We are intelligent. We are agile. We have good luck. And, with proper training, we can take all of these inherent traits and become even better at them. At least, that’s what I’ve heard.

I’ve never been an especially strong person; I can’t really lift more than a spoon most days. I’ve been told I’m oblivious most of the time, which means that my perception could be better. And I’m about as agile as a super-mutant on alcohol. But I’ve been told that I’m charming, and I know that I’m smart. This, combined with some good luck, has allowed me to become a computer programmer.

I am drawn from my reading by an alert on my Pip-Boy. It’s a handy little device: an arm-mounted computer that can do basically everything. It can monitor my life signs, keep track of my schedule, store maps, help me focus my gunfire while I’m doing mandatory training, play music, dispense medicine, keep track of the items I have with me, and much, much more. Every resident of Vault 26 gets one on their 10th birthday to help them with their lives. I mostly use mine to check my schedule, listen to music, and store my favorite programming shortcuts.

I look at my Pip-Boy’s screen and see that I got a message from the Overseer. “That’s odd,”I think. “He never calls me. Why would he? I’m just a regular working-class programmer.”Curious beyond measure, I open the message.

[Vault Resident Angela Miller.] the message reads. [Please report to the Overseer’s office for a special assignment. You will be having breakfast with the Overseer as he explains the situation to you.] My eyes practically jump out of my head. A special assignment? Breakfast with the Overseer? From what I’ve heard, not even the higher-ranking members of the Vault have breakfast with the Overseer. What could he possibly have in mind? Whatever it is, I can’t wait to find out.

* * *

It takes me a minute, but my Pip-Boy’s map eventually leads me to the Overseer’s office. I press the button beside the door, causing it to play a few notes of the old 1950s song Civilization. It’s one of the Overseer’s favorites for reasons unclear to me. A voice behind the door says, “Enter,” and the door automatically opens, two separate panels retreatinto either side of the door frame,allowing me unrestricted access to the office. Most Vault 26 membersnever get to see this place. I’m so excited!

The Overseer’s office is dark, lit only by the glow of a few security monitors that highlight different parts of the Vault. In front of those monitors is a circular desk, covered with various tools, buttons, and the occasional knick-knack. In the middle of the circle is a swivel chair with its back facing me. I can see only the hair of the man sitting in it; his locks are dark and well-groomed in a pompadour style.

“Welcome, Miss Miller,” the Overseer says. His chair turns, allowing me to see the rest of him. He is clad in a jumpsuit just like the rest of us, but he wears it with more dignity and authority. His eyes seem to glow in the dark; I can’t really tell what color they are. His skin looks a little darker than that of most people I know, perfectly complimenting his hair. His nose is sharp and angular, and his mouth is set in a confident smirk. “Glad you could make it.”

“The pleasure it all mine, Mr. Overseer,” I assure him meekly. This is so amazing!

The Overseer chuckles a little before gesturing to a plate on his desk.The sight of bacon, eggs, and potatoesgets my mouth watering. “This is an old-fashioned breakfast from before the Great War. I had it rehydrated just for you. Go on: eat.” I waste no timeinobeying, picking up and bitinginto a bacon strip. As I pop the morsel into my mouth and start to chew it, the Overseer asks, “Tell me, Miss Miller, what do you think of life in the Vault?”

I swallow my food and reply, “Oh, it’s great, Mr. Overseer,” before taking another bite.

“Good,” the Overseer replies, his voice smooth and soothing. “I’m glad to hear that.” He turns his back to me, watching the screens. “It would seem that your neighbors think so, too. Look at them, Miss Miller. Look how they work together to keep life in Vault 26 running smoothly. Isn’t it sheer perfection?” I turn my attention to the screens, watching the people as they go about their lives. I see a few people whosedays started earlier than mine; waste disposers, cooks, and others who specialize inthe health of those who live here. I also see others who have not started their shifts yet. Most of them have wandered down to the mess hall, where they sit in groups at crowded tables, talking and laughing. A few people are still in their rooms, reading old books or listening to music. One couple is having sex.

“Yes, yes, seems quite harmonious, doesn’t it?” the Overseer commentsas I continue to watch and eat. “It almost seems perfect. But here at Vault 26, we always strive to do better. We are a cut above the rest, and we have to make sure it stays that way. That is why I have called you here.

“You see, Miss Miller, there have been rumors going around of a particularly strong group of individuals somewhere in the Delmarva Commonwealth. If we could befriend these people, perhaps we could persuade them to move into the Vault with us. With their protection, we will never be attacked by ghouls or super-mutants ever again.”

I’m a little confused. “That sounds very nice, Mr. Overseer,” I say, swallowing some egg. “But what do you need me for?”

“You are one of the most charming people I’ve ever met,” the Overseer explained. “That’s why I’m sending you out into the wasteland to make contact with these people.”

“What?” I blurt out. This makes no sense. Why would I want to venture out into the wasteland? That’s where monsters of all kinds are lying in wait to ambush me and have me for dinner! “Sir, with all do respect, I can’t go out there!” I explain. “I’ve never been outside the Vault in my life, and I’m not anxious to get eaten by anything out there.”

“Don’t worry about that,” the Overseer purrs. “You’re a resourceful girl; the monsters won’t stand a chance against you. And, once you manage to befriend all of these strong people and bring them back to the Vault, I’ll be prepared to give you a very special promotion.”

My ears prick up. “Special promotion?”

“How would you like to be my own personal computer programmer? See, most computer code breaks down from time totime, and that includes the coding on these monitors.” He gestures to the monitors behind him. “I’ll accept only the best of the best to help maintain my machines. Would you be willing to do that?”

My eyes light up. Never in my life did I think I would have an opportunity like this. Being the Overseer’s personal computer programmer? That sounds amazing! I’d have the respect of everyone in the Vault, including the Overseer himself. “Boy, would I!” I squeal, unable to contain myself.

“Good,” the Overseer replies. “Then, after you finish breakfast, I suggest you pack some supplies and head out to the wasteland. Those people won’t befriend themselves.”

I cannot finish my breakfast fast enough.

* * *

It doesn’t take me very long to pack, mostly because I don’t have a lot of stuff. Some pre-packaged food and a few bottles of water go into my Vault-Tec bag, the contents of which are automatically logged into my Pip-Boy. A couple of stimpaks soon join them, which will come in handy if I happen to have a run-in with a ghoul and need to heal myself. Just as I’m packed up and about to leave,I see my ScienceBobblehead out of the corner of my eye. It’s a funny little trinket; it bears the likeness of the Vault-Tec’s blond-haired, black-eyed mascot, Vault Boy. Vault Boy’s science incarnation wears serious glasses alongside his bright “everything’s gonna be okay” smile. He holds a beaker that is painted luminescent green. I smile; I’ve always loved that bobblehead. I pack it out of nostalgia.

With my bag fully packed, I brace myself for what is to come and start walking. It is only a short trip from my room to the Vault’s entrance, but it feels like I walk for miles and miles. Finally, I stand before the large, gear-shaped blast door, trying to calm my breathing. Beyond this door are horrors that most residents of the Vault have never seen before, and I will have to face them down if I want to make the Overseer happy.

I steel my nerves and turn my attention to the access panel beside the door. The mechanism to open the door was enabled decades ago, so doing so is a simple matter of entering an “open” command into the panel. The process of the door actually opening, however, is nerve-wracking as hell. I watch a mechanical arm descend from the ceiling slowly and loudly, like it’s trying on purpose to trigger an anxiety attack. It latches on to the center of the door with an ear-splitting “CLACK!” that makes me jump out of my skin.

As the mechanical arm starts to roll the door aside, I receive an alert on my Pip-Boy. It’s another message from the Overseer. [There’s one more thing I forgot to mention.] he informs me. [While I was analyzing the rumors that I heard about this group, the four names that I heard the most were Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, and Steven. When you find one of those people, message me back.]

Armed with this new information, I reply [Understood. Heading out now.]

His response is quick: [Good luck, Miss Miller.]

[Thank you.] And then, finally, the Vault door opens. I shield my eyes from the blinding light and brace myself for my trip to the outside world.

#Fallout: Delmarva AU #Vault 26 #Angelica Miller #Vault-Tec #fallout #Steven Universe AU #SU AU

[dizzyspellbook]

answer from aries to 12th house. all of them. please.

oh my god ahahhhaaha WELL OKAY.

aries: what are you passionate about?

I am passionate about making art, connecting with people, and helping others the best that I can. when I can help teach someone something important or help them access their own tools, that’s such an amazing feeling!

taurus: name 3 of your favorite books.

Carry On by Rainbow Rowell, The Book of Lost Things by John Connolly, Circe by Madeline Miller, Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. all ABSOLUTE bangers. also fuck u I work at a literature company I can put a fourth book if I want.

gemini: what was the last text you sent?

“i shifted how i was sitting and was like ‘oh stabby, cool’” my friends will know what this is about

cancer: if you could choose your child’s zodiac sign, what would it be?

n/a (don’t want kids)

leo: name something you love about yourself.

I LOVE. how creative I am. I mean I constantly bounce between like five different hobbies and I just love looking at the things I’ve created and feeling proud of myself and remembering how much fun I had making the thing! plus, my art has helped me connect with so many people and has helped so many people and that’s just. ahh. so rad!!

virgo: what’s your #1 pet peeve?

I HAVE TO NAME JUST ONE? LMAO. honestly i think i’ll have to say when people are not aware of their surroundings—whether that’s people walking too slowly in front of me or someone just standing like a dummy in the middle of the aisle/sidewalk like buddy come on people have to Go Here.

libra: describe your dream partner.

my dream partner is patient, funny, handsome, supportive, excited, and understanding! he also has been dating me for over five years. :^)

scorpio: do you trust easily?

this is an interesting one. I... don’t think so? and that’s not because I expect people to hurt me, I just have a lot of walls and a front I tend to put up until I’m close with someone. and scorpio is my dominant sign so hey that’s fitting. I can’t always rationally tell whether or not I’m vibing with someone, but if I notice myself struggling to be myself or behave like I normally would because of my protective walls, I know they’re not a good fit for me. (also this isn’t because I’m not friendly or outgoing, it just takes a minute for people to get to know me a bit deeper. asndgntdn i’m overexplaining lol)

sagittarius: if you could travel to any place in the world, where would it be?

bro uh. you know i see why people romanticize traveling a lot, it’s supposed to be this really revealing experience—and I did get to study abroad in college, and it was a powerful and introspective experience—but now that I’m older and have a job and medications and illnesses and disabilities I just don’t know how feasible traveling would be for me. THAT BEING SAID: it’s on my bucket list to spend a few nights to a week in a cabin with paints and books and just fucking chill.

capricorn: what’s your dream job?

currently my goal is to become an adolescent therapist, but if that doesn’t flesh out, something else in the realm of social work or accessibility. and obviously I want enough time and energy to keep making art!

aquarius: do you believe in aliens?

scientifically, yeah! there has got to be intelligent life out there. spiritually, yes! I tend to think of deities as higher-vibrational creatures that can interact with us—similar to spirits and ghosts.

pisces: describe someone you love.

my mom is nerdy and gets excited about small things, from glitter to videogames. she has almost as many tattoos as me, and almost all of them are geeky references. she and i are both traumatized and chronically ill in similar ways, which I think has strengthened our relationship in my adulthood. though, I was always close with her—she always made sure to support whoever we were as children and teens and give us the resources we needed to succeed. :’)

sun: describe yourself in 3 words.

kind, balanced, sensitive

moon: what’s your favorite song?

Such Great Heights by The Postal Service!!!! it’s been my fav song for like, fifteen years

rising/asc: how would you describe your style?

lazy nonbinary wearing nothing but sweaters as they wait for surgery lol

mars: are you easily angered?

no—and in fact, it took me some time and a fair amount of therapy to be able to access my own anger after leaving an abuser. (though I DO get annoyed easily, see the question about pet peeves lolol)

venus: what’s your aesthetic?

i..... what the fuck is my aesthetic outside of my style. what does this mean. raw art, forests, sunsets, rain, i guess???

mercury: what color do you talk in?

green. sometimes, orange! other times, deep sea blue. but usually green.

jupiter: what moral do you live by?

be the best version of you that you can be, listen to the messages the universe sends you, and enjoy your life. be kind to others.

saturn: what’s your biggest fear?

living a dull, unhappy life and not making the most out of the life I have. making decisions out of fear and not going anywhere.

uranus: are you rebellious?

ok so not needlessly so, but whenever it comes to rules I think are dumb as shit, yes. yes. I was the kid in high school who got straight A’s but talked back to the subs when they were being unreasonable lol. I just tend to think “well I’ll do this my own way” when I don’t like something.

neptune: share one of your dreams.

I want to live in a brick house. I think they are so cute. I want a window nook seat, and a tower/fun shaped attic where a library can be—I want a yard for my doggy and a space for me to paint.

pluto: what’s the biggest thing you’ve learned by far in your life?

people are healing.

lilith: do you have any guilty pleasures?

sure! I like to imbibe in some drink or smoke and zone into a dumb videogame every once in a while.

chiron: have you ever broken a bone?

i broke my nose as a child!

ceres: are you a momfriend?

I used to be, now I think of myself more as a mentor and friend than the mom friend. being the mom is exhausting.

pallas: do you have a good relationship with your parents?

my mom, yes!

juno: do you believe in soul mates?

of course! not just romantic soul mates—there are many different kinds.

1st house: are you confident?

yes! most of the time, lol. until i am outside and constantly looking over my shoulder because ptsd has eaten my brain

2nd house: if you could only keep one of your personal items, what would you choose?

probably my laptop because of all the stuff on it, art programs, etc.

3rd house: do you like to read?

yesss!! see above with my book suggestions. I’m working on Dune right now.

4th house: what does your bedroom look like?

cozy! half messy, half not. we still have boxes we need to unpack at the foot of our bed, but I’ve decorated my dresser with a lot of memorable items—my necklace tree, photos, instax, we have a couple plants, oh and my altar is in here too!

5th house: name your favorite movie or show.

Avatar: The Last Airbender for surreeee

6th house: do you participate in community service?

not currently—while I like the idea of it, I feel like I don’t have the time or battery level with commissions and art and working full time and working out and taking care of a dog.

7th house: if you could choose, what zodiac sign would you like your dream partner to be?

man I don’t like this one, every zodiac sign has its ups and downs and further, combinations of zodiac signs are what make people truly unique—not to mention peoples’ life experiences!

8th house: do you believe in reincarnation?

yes, absolutely!

9th house: what’s your favorite quote?

not to be boring but I don’t think I have one, and I don’t really want to pull one out of my ass for the sake of answering this question. :(

10th house: are you good at public speaking?

surprisingly yes! I’ve got a good blend of professional and cracking the occasional joke.

11th house: what sign(s) is your best friend/squad?

LET’S SEE. we’ve got a cap, a gem, a gem/cancer cusp, a cancer, a libra, and a pisces.

12th house: do you like to be alone?

lmao tonight i hung out with my partner and her date and after a movie i was like “i’m gonna be a party pooper and go to bed and by go to bed I mean get on my bed and draw while listening to music” so yes, I sure do like being alone.

#personal #Anonymous

[wingedfabray]

Standing Stones || Dani & Quinn

Tagging: Dani Harper & Quinn Fabray When: May 10th, 2018 Where: Yanaka Cemetery What: Dani accompanies Quinn on a trip to the cemetery. Warnings: Mentions of death.

Quinn adjusted the material of her skirt around her waist, brushing out any stray wrinkles. The hotel was beautiful and perfect, but she was far more excited for the cemetery. From a brief search on Google, she knew it would be different than the cemeteries she'd traversed back home. There was something inherently magical about cemetery grounds, even in a high boundary ranked area. Deciding she looked presentable enough, she made her way down to the lobby, ready to catch the next shuttle.

Dani wasn´t exactly thrilled having Sugar as her roommate. Surely, the other girl didn´t know who she really was, and she was intending on keeping it that way, but considering what she had done, even though she had done to survive, she felt a little guilty. She couldn´t really go anywhere without a sponsor, or well...any witch in that case, she spent most of her time in the lobby, which was how she caught sight of Quinn passing through. For a moment she considered just letting her go, but they hadn´t talked, especially not during the trial, and Dani would have thought it to be rude to not at least say hey. So she got up from her seat and approached the Blonde, a smile on her face. "Hey, Quinn."

Quinn spotted Dani just before the greeting. It was hard not to look at her and think of the last time they'd been in the same place at the same time. It was smoke and fog, and voices the still seemed to echo somewhere deep and lodged in her chest. It was an aching reminder of a failure she couldn't quite get over, still too fresh, and she only offered a smile and looked away. But unfortunately the shuttle hadn't arrived, and standing awkwardly in the lobby with someone familiar wasn't an option. "Hello, Dani." She said as she looked back, "Are you...waiting for someone, or waiting to go somewhere?"

Dani she honestly hadn´t even expected to have a conversation with Quinn. For a moment she felt like she was being transported back to the aviary. Back to the fog. Back to sharing things with Quinn, a girl she barely knew and yet...Quinn was probably the witch who knew most about Dani. Which was something she hadn´t thought about before. "Oh...I´m just...hanging out. Can´t really go anywhere." She shrugged her shoulders. "How about you? You look like you´re going somewhere."

Quinn had forgotten, honestly, that not everyone could attend every attraction, not without an escort. It was a dizzy feeling, a stark reminder of how much had changed since she'd first arrived at NYADA. The arrival of Kitty and Sugar was only driving that feeling home. She pursed her lips, and answered "I'm heading for the Yanaka Cemetery." She bit off her explanations why. For all Dani had shared, Quinn had remained tight-lipped about her own interests, beyond her knowledge of the Nephilim.

Dani nodded at Quinn´s words. She had seen the Cemetery on pictures after doing some research. It looked absolutely beautiful and she had wanted to go, but most people weren´t exactly interested in heading to a cemetery, though Dani figured it would be a very peaceful place. She´d been meaning to go and visit Ellie´s grave, to see if she could get closure, but without a sponsor that hadn´t been possible. She didn´t even know if it would work, with not knowing who her parents were and whether or not they were alive or dead there wasn´t really a grave she could go to to grieve. "Do you mind if I tag along?" She finally found herself asking. "I promise not to talk a lot." she then added. "I just heard it was beautiful and I haven´t found anyone to go with me yet."

Quinn looked from Dani to the shuttle that was just beginning to load, and back again. She pursed her lips, her back straight. It wasn’t really going together, per se, but the recent additions to their small group had her on edge. Tabloids and small indiscretions were made all the more detrimental under the watchful eyes of the Mottas and Wildes. And yet Dani seemed entirely unassuming, and there was little point in an exchange trip if she was going to spend it in the hotel. “Fine.” She finally allowed, as she spun to get on the shuttle.

Dani could see Quinn’s mind at work and for a moment she thought the other girl was going to say no. Surely, Dani was good at convincing people to what she wanted, but she wasn’t sure how well that would work with one Quinn Fabray. Luckily, however, the other girl seemed to decide in Dani’s benefit and so her lips turned upwards into a smile. „Awesome,“ she smiled, happy that she had taken her bag with her already. Dani boarded the shuttle and sat down next to Quinn, settling in. The ride to the cemetery was mostly spent in silence but when they got out of the shuttle Dani couldn’t quite hold herself back. „Wow,“ she managed as she caught sight of the cemetery. „So...why did you wanted to see it? Any particular reason?“

Quinn walked in awe down the road lined with cherry blossoms. Hues of pink danced in a breeze, tiny falling petals shifting like colorful rain until they came to rest on the pavement. It wasn't a familiar cemetery, staggered stones in place of angelic statues, the shift in faith obvious. But there was still a silent, humming power about it. It was a subtle flow of energy that she could feel in her fingertips. She almost missed Dani's question, "I've always been drawn to cemeteries, along with churches. They're...holy places, each in their own way." Short of describing magic (which would fail anyway) that was all she could offer. "And you?"

Dani could feel the magic. It wasn´t her own, but there was something about this place, buzzing under the surface, that made her feel...strangely at home. She briefly wondered if she had ever felt this way before, if she had been close to magic, apart from her own, without knowing it. She fell into step with Quinn as they walked and Dani made a mental note to draw this place later. Maybe even now if they found a place to sit for a while, it was beautiful. "I..." She trailed off for a moment. "I´ve been meaning to visit someone´s grave, but I couldn´t because Sam gave up his place as my sponsor and I wasn´t assigned a new one yet." It was as much as she could say without going into too much detail. "So I figured...maybe this would help with some closure." She glanced over at Quinn. "You said your magic was passed down from the angels. Does that means it´s stronger in places like this?"

Quinn 's brow furrowed, as she tried to piece together what Dani had said. There was something about angels, but some words had seemed to come out random. Boundary ranks were tricky, and she tried to fill in the blanks the best that she could. "We're close to the angels, yes." She offered neutrally. The grave stones were staggered, and there wasn't an angel in sight. Beliefs that weren't her own were fascinating, and she'd spent far too much time reading up on the history of Shinto and Buddhism before making the trip across the ocean. It was obvious in the sprawling expanse of tombstone littered lawn, how different it was from a cemetery back home. "It's...better here, but not like it could be, back home." She paused, sparing a glance at Dani. Something warred within her, and she walked in silence for a moment before continuing. "I'm not sure you'll find closure in unfamiliar places. Have you tried the rent-a-sponsor program?"

Dani nodded. She was aware that magic was censored here and while it was a thought that was present in her mind she hadn’t really actively thought about it before asking Quinn about her magic. “I know that,” she then replied, “But it’s better than nothing, besides: it’s beautiful here,” she gestured around, “I did, but this never got back to me,” Dani then added, “they had us take his sponsor test but then never said a word about it again,” With Ellie’s death having been a while ago and her and Marley now being a thing things had gotten better, but closure was something she hadn’t fully found yet. “Hey, want to sit?” She then asked, pointing at one of the benches beneath the cherry blossom trees.

Quinn pursed her lips, but refrained from offering a comment on the Rent-A-Sponsor program. She'd made her thoughts clear the moment the sponsorships had been announced – this is absurd, you'll regret it when lusus are destroying New York City – but she'd found herself re-evaluating many things of late. Even so, her own opinion felt stilted and out of place, and she finally offered a nod. "I do hope they get back to you. And I'm am sorry for your loss, Dani." The moment passed when Dani offered a seat, and while the change was jarring, Quinn let it slide with some relief. The bench was, of course, placed underneath a cherry blossom, littered in fluttering pink. As cemeteries were wont to be, it was relatively quiet, peaceful in a way only the dead could manage. She sat with her legs crossed, hands folded in her lap, half wishing she'd brought a book. "It's beautiful, at any rate. There's something...peaceful about cemeteries."

Dani gave Quinn a smile. "Thank you." She wasn´t the biggest fan of the program herself, even though she had enjoyed going out with Sam, but it was still an absurd idea. She didn´t want to ponder on that now, however, not when they were in such a beautiful place and had the chance to relax and have a look around. Dani cleaned off some of the cherry blossoms so they could sit without getting any stains on their clothes, and then sat down, waiting for Quinn to do the same. "It really is. I don´t understand why some people don´t like them." She paused. "I mean...I can imagine why, but you know what I mean." Dani opened her bag and pulled out her note book and some pencils, slowly beginning to sketch the scene that was laid out before them. She had promised not to talk too much and there wasn´t much need for it, anyways. This was nice, just the two of them sharing a moment of silence in such a beautiful place.

Quinn could think of many reasons why others wouldn't quite enjoy cemeteries, despite their silent beauty. There was a pervading sadness that seemed to drift between the tombstones, something heavy and deeper than the space between stars. Quinn let it settle, let it fade into the sounds of silent passers-by and the scratch of pencil on paper. It was hard not to look over, to watch Dani bring the scenery to life on paper. More often than not she found her gaze tracing lines instead of watching the people around her. It was a long time before she broke the silence, "How long have you been drawing?"

Dani enjoyed the silence as she scribbled away on paper, just letting the scenery come to life again on paper. She didn´t mind Quinn watching, whenever she drew it was like she was slipping away into a different world, a world that was entirely her own. She had spent countless hours in coffee shops and parks after fleeing the orphanage, just drawing the scenery or people passing by, sitting on benches or on the grass. It had calmed her down, given her a sense of security in an otherwise so unstable life. When Quinn broke the silence Dani looked up, turning towards the other woman. "Oh...a while." She then replied. "I used to do it as a child...it was a way of passing time, escaping reality, if you like. Then I started getting into make up and I began to paint faces rather than on paper." Maybe it had been a way of trying to escape as well, just...a way more fleshed out plan. "Then I did it when I...left the orphanage. And then I didn´t for a while. But ever since coming to NYADA I picked it up again." She glanced down at the picture she´d drawn and finished it with a couple of strokes before carefully removing the paper from her notepad and handing it to Quinn. "Here, you can keep it."

Quinn listened without comment, simply watching the lines of the scenery coming to life. Her hands found the offered paper gently, shaking, and suddenly she couldn't see the lines anymore. She couldn't seem to look. This wasn't what she wanted; Dani's words and confessions, her drawings and company. She didn't want anyone's history, because knowing someone's history was like forging a connection, and she couldn't do that anymore. "Thank you." She said at last, but she kept the drawing held out in front of her, "But perhaps you should save it for someone else."

Dani had learned to read people from an early age and so she was quick to notice the shift in the atmosphere between them. She glanced up at Quinn, shaking her head. "No. Keep it." She then told her with an encouraging smile. "I´ve drawn a lot of things and I didn´t keep a whole lot of the drawings. It´s best to be with someone who´s been there," She glanced at the drawing. "Who´s seen this in real life." Dani then got up from the bench. "I´ll take a walk back to the bus station. Maybe we can meet there? I think we should be fine, since you´re not really leaving me out of sight."

Quinn was left holding the paper, watching as Dani walked away. True to her word, she was never out of site. Quinn looked down at the captured seen once more, one finger tracing over the lines. It was a moment before she released a breath, tense shoulders slumping down, her eyes drifting shut. It was just a drawing, it didn't mean anything. It didn't have to be anything more than a piece of paper, and Quinn was determined to make it such. She tucked carefully under her arm so as not to bend it, and finally joined Dani at the bus stop, eyes forward.

#paras #p: standing stones #tw death #shiftindani

[uncle-ak]

What Do You Do When...?

They say; April showers bring May flowers. It is still showering/raining in May. I pray these are showers of blessings because, with the condition of the world at this time, we need to hold on to the slightest glimpse of hope.

May is Mental Health Awareness Month; I used to think it was October. World Mental Health Day is on October 10th. Raising awareness about mental health involves fighting stigma, providing support, educating the public, and advocating for policies that support individuals with mental health challenges and their families.

A sequel from my previous blog post… Have you been or are you on a journey to something non-traditional in your culture, society, community, home? It doesn’t have to be work-related. 

Reflecting on some challenges I have experienced, not directly mental health-related but affected my mental wellness. Background story; a journey to a non-traditional profession in the African community. The first month of grad school was so challenging that it was the first time I thought of giving-up/dropping out. Prior to my grad school experience, I used to make the statement that the only reason I would ever try the Insanity Workout by Shaun T was if something in life drove me insane. Well, guess what, life in grad school was getting me there barely weeks into it. 

It was September 2012, I had just left the financial aid office the third time that week where I was told that my financial aid/school loan application which I completed in July 2012 was not processed. So my tuition and housing weren’t paid for, I couldn’t buy textbooks which cost an arm and a leg and I was pursuing a degree that wasn’t/isn’t “typical” in the African community so who do I call to ask for financial assistance while waiting for financial aid to kick in before I am kicked out of the program? I did have a letter that stated the application was processed but the financial aid office was yet to receive it; something wasn’t adding up. So what do you do when…?

I had about $2000 in checking, about $1000 in savings, a $700 unused credit card, and a reasonably functioning 2004 used car which I drove about 7hours with from Maryland to Massachusetts and the car insurance of $600 due by December for the next six months. I was in a new territory away from family and friends, with no known relatives in the area. I had done some job searching from retail/cashier, to a home aide, to a residential assistant for individuals with a disability but looking at my class schedule, most of the jobs I found were not flexible enough to accommodate that and the locations were all over the place.

It was probably the second week into September 2012 when I left the financial aid office the third time, I found myself at the center of the campus when my binder suddenly dropped from my hand and the binder rings popped open. I didn’t have the energy to pick them up so I just sat on the pavement and watched the wind blow the papers away. I’m not sure how long I sat there but as the papers were flying, I noticed a yellow paper that caught my attention. I somehow dragged myself up, went to the paper, and realized it had the list of resources available on campus one of which was counseling services and fitness classes. One of the exercise classes for that day was… you guess right! The Insanity Workout by Shaun T.

Prior to this moment, I had never considered seeking counseling. I took a course in counseling psychology in undergrad so I had a vague idea of what it was like but I battled with the notion that going to therapy meant I had a mental health condition. Even with that thought process, I felt the need to talk to a “stranger” who would listen from a different perspective. So I found the strength to pick-up my binder and walked to the counseling center. I signed up to receive counseling once a week which continued for the duration of the grad school program while school was in session. After my first intake session, I decided to go try out the Insanity Workout. I always kept workout clothes in the trunk of my car; so I grabbed them and went to the class. I must say it was a good way to take out my frustrations, I kept going two to three times per week for the duration of the semester.

I must say seeking counseling was the best decision I ever made. It didn’t eliminate life challenges, it helped me realize how my thought process amplified situations or how I was self-limiting or how I was unconsciously holding on to the past or holding onto something in the present that wasn’t there or expecting others to act/respond a certain way, or feeling entitled or blaming others for things I had no control over or trying to control things that I couldn’t. 

So the theory part of the grad school was drawing to an end in December 2014, the thought that the counseling sessions were ending gave me anxiety. My counselor gave me a gift with a heartwarming message.

Back in Maryland, from January 2015 to June 2015 I did fieldwork (aka clinical/non-paid internship) Mondays to Fridays in addition to working 8hours overnight on Fridays and 16hours on Saturdays and Sundays. I barely had a social life. Funny how the mini extrovert side of me was trying to override the major introvert side of me during those years in grad school. I was granted a break from fieldwork to go attend the commencement ceremony back in Massachusetts which took place in May. Initially, I didn’t think I was going to attend it because of the workload but my supervisor made it happen. The graduation party took place in June. By August, my classmates were posting on Facebook about passing their board exam and I had not even registered, so what do you do when…?

So I deactivated my Facebook account (I haven’t reactivated it since then) that same month and registered to take the exam by the end of October. In September my youngest brother became seriously ill and in early October I experienced the most heartbreaking betrayal EVER relationship related. It was my first experience of how emotional pain can be mind-numbing. You know how you can take medications for a headache or any physical pain or put heat/ice on a hurting joint and it somewhat feels better? Besides going for long walks and driving in silence to sometimes unknown destinations and using the GPS to return, nothing else helped. 

During this time, I did contemplate seeking counseling services but I didn’t follow through because I felt like I did not want to depend on counseling. Besides I was out of school so I would have to pay for it. I had Medicaid insurance at the time so I assumed the copay was no joke. With that and my brother’s health on my mind, I couldn’t study so I postponed the board exam to November before thanksgiving week because it was the holiday season; thanksgiving, Christmas then New Year. It would have been too much distraction to study including working. I was charged for postponing the exam, money that I didn’t budget for; so add financial burden to emotional pain. The good thing is I wasn’t paying any rent at the time. My only bills were car insurance, phone bill, and taking care of my basic necessities.

Three days before the November exam date, I fell sick and was diagnosed with an upper respiratory tract infection; I started treatment right away. I didn’t want to postpone the exam again. It was more expensive to postpone this time because it was close to the scheduled date. I had not told anyone about taking the exam. Uber wasn’t a thing back then, getting a taxi/cab wasn’t within the budget given the distance and I’m not into inconveniencing people to render me a favor especially since it was last minute and I didn’t want to explain to anyone why I was going to that location. So what do you do when…?

So I drove myself there. I just wanted to get the exam over with. I said to myself, if I don’t pass, then I’ll retake it hopefully with less emotional stress/pain the second time around. I just didn’t want the year to end without at least trying. I don’t recall answering all the questions before the timer went off and the testing screen closed out. I went to my car, took a nap then drove home. It felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulder.

The results were out a week later. I was at work, I had worked 8hours overnight. I logged into my account and the first thing I saw was PASSED. I took a picture then refreshed the screen to see if it will change but it didn’t. I logged out and logged back in and it still said PASSED. I went to my car. I took a nap, drove home. I logged in on my laptop and the results didn’t change. I logged into the home desktop and got the same results. Do I need to say I was in disbelief that I passed? I checked my results for the next three days and then I shared with family and friends. I would say I didn’t feel comfortable sharing nor asking for anything relating to my journey in the undergrad or grad school because I was pursuing a degree that wasn’t understood and still isn’t understood by a good number of people around me. So I had to do a lot of figuring out on my own.

I later received my certificate via mail with the numerical results. I had 450/600, the minimum required score for passing. My heart stopped for a few seconds. Recounting this got me teary-eyed. My journey from 2009 in undergrad, to my unpleasant experience in grad school (details for another day) to the very trying year of 2015, was about to be over… I can’t put the feelings into words. I had some emotional healing to do, so I decided I won’t start the job searching until after the New Year but it dragged through till the end of January. During this time I reflected on what I had learned during counseling in grad school and did a lot of reading on emotions and the mind for self-healing. 

The first week in February 2016, I posted my resume around 9 AM, by 11 AM I had two interviews scheduled for that week. By mid-February, I had two job offers but they didn’t sit well with me. By the end of February, I reconnected with a friend whom we went to community college together. He was the first African (Nigerian) I knew to study in the field, had recently graduated and was working. He had shared some suggestions/resources on how to study for the board exam. It turns out he was in contact with the regional manager of a location where I did the first portion of my fieldwork/clinical/rotation. That regional manager was looking to fill an open position. Per the regional manager’s words during our communication via text; “based on your work ethic during your time with us, you are hired.” I was in disbelief, he asked for my email and by the next day, I received an offer letter. The rest they say is history…

So what do you do when life throws you curveballs or there’s a sudden stop sign, red light, yield sign, crossroad, speed bump, extremely curvy ramp, exit? I think it all depends on the options available; stop and take a moment to reflect on your why. Why am I thinking/feeling this way, why do I want this to be this or that way? Counseling services can be expensive and sometimes the waiting time to see a counselor could be weeks. Last year I took a class to become a Mental Health First Aider; it’s like CPR for Mental Health. I learned a lot about a number of resources, some of which provide options for those with low income. Link

As I type this, I am reminded of a Stuck in The Middle interview which discusses mental health in the African/African-American community; a topic that is shunned in our community and needs to be addressed more. Link

I am generally on the quiet side depending on the topic of discussion so I have come to realize that my silence may give off the impression that my life has been smooth and dandy. I would say it has taken me a while to write in the first person (I) and share this much depth about me. In my earlier writings, I typically wrote in the third person because it is easier and it deflects attention. Sitting here, recounting/writing this which has taken me years to share this experience in this much depth, I have come to appreciate who I am and who I am becoming more now than before. And with that said, may I share that I am working on bringing to life the book I’ve been writing in my head since 2017. Inspired by Achu Ebong Mba (aka Riflex) the newest published Author in town; No Such Thing As Halfway. Grab a copy if you haven’t yet and joint to the conversation.