#I just spent €26 on jello

[agentwallflower]

Supernova: Chapter 13

Yeah, I’m here... have a chapter. It’s gonna get fun soon.

Next chapter will be going up on December 26. It’s my holiday gift to you. Happy holidays, all that jazz.

...

Yeah I’m still really depressed but I wanted to try and get back in the swing of things. Maybe it’ll help, I don’t know.

Anyway, thanks for reading. See you in two weeks.

A week of being stuck at home had not done wonders for her mood.

“You sure you're ok, kid?”

Aunt Miri didn't normally look worried. She joked it was part of her makeup to look like a permanently pissed off pincushion. That was of course a lie – she had plenty of emotions that she was just good at hiding from most people. That didn't work on Andy, though – she knew the woman from years of seeing her at her bedside.

They were in her car once more, on what was probably the hottest day of the year so far. The newscaster had said before she had left that it was going to get up to 100, and that was before the humidity was factored in. For the humans, that meant they would be sweating their damn skin off and hoping for shade. For her, it just meant the outside was a little closer to her core temp.

Just a little bit though – she ran pretty hot.

She shrugged as she glanced out the window. It was good to see other sights than the tiny view from her attic room. Here she could at least make out the details of the people walking down the street. They all looked pretty sweaty, and most of them had water. After all, humans could die of dehydration, or so she had heard responsible parents tell their children.

Funny, her mother had never told her sisters that.  Maybe she had just assumed they would figure it out on their own after collapsing.

“I mean, I went a little stir crazy up there.” She looked back to her aunt. “Thanks for busting me out.”

Her favorite punk pincushion grit her teeth as she turned onto the street the Union kept their hideout. “She was out of line there. Besides, the deal is you get once a week. You already missed one, which means you get two this time.”

Andy would've rolled her eyes at that. “I bet Sky Rider is happy for the overtime.”

It wasn't as though she had spent the entire week in her room staring through the floor to see if she could watch TV – she couldn't, by the way. Seeing through two floors was impossible even for her weird vision. Part of that time had been spent sitting up, staring at her fingers in the hope to see... something... happen.

Was it smart to attempt to use her powers in a residential area? Most likely that was a strong hell no, but it wasn't like anything had come of it besides the vague feeling of being stupid. Had it happened... well, she would've dealt with that later. It was neither here nor there, it hadn't worked so she was just someone staring at her hand for the better part of a week.

“I think he likes you. He kept asking if you were ok.” Aunt Miri shrugged. “Or he wanted the overtime. He's a psychic, they're all hard to read.”

Well, didn't that make her core bubble? Her teacher missed having her in the classroom so he could do his homework.

“Probably harder with that visor on...” Andy watched a dog pass by. She liked dogs. “Does he ever take that thing off?”

The woman next to her let out a sharp bark of laughter as she started to park the car. “Not as long as I've known him. He takes the whole secret identity thing seriously, I don't think even Ember or Scanner know.”

Well, someone had a stick up their ass about that...

It was faster this time to get into the Union house, or maybe it just felt that way to Andy as they made their way up. She still hated the damn elevator that threatened to press in on all sides on her, but it was at least a shorter ride than the first time. Maybe it was like exposure therapy. She should ask somebody about that later...

“Well, here we are, top fl-”

Miri's words died as the doors slammed open in front of them. A man was attempting to barrel his way through, shaking with rage. Given it was a very small elevator... he was kind of left standing in the door, staring at them like a quivering ball of jello.

A very dirty ball of jello...

“Get out of my way, PT.” He had a deep voice that boomed like an explosion. Apart from being very dirty, the only thing Andy could say about him was that he was probably white, probably around 40, and his eyes were the color of mud. They matched the earth that absolutely splattered his clothes and what little skin was uncovered. Normally, she saw him on TV in his often dirty hero gear, glowering at the screen as he stomped off camera.

So... Richter existed after all.

Miri responded by rolling her eyes. “You need to get the hell out of our way first, you know. Little hard to walk around a mountain of a man.”

Richter growled, but a few seconds later he took some steps back. Andy and PT stepped through the dirt he left behind. It wasn't like he made the stuff – that would  be neat – but he wasn't terrakinetic. Rather, he just got his power from being around the earth and throwing it around. If that meant he needed to be a little dirty, he didn't seem to mind.

Made him not very fun to be around, though.

“Always with the jokes.” He entered into the elevator and slammed the button with a dirty fist. Soon the doors were closing on his clenched jaw and burning eyes. Then he was gone, with a dent in the wall and a bunch of mud the only proof he had ever been there at all.

Silence descended over the room as Miri brushed some dirt off her jacket. “And here I am, surprised he still works here.”

A warmth crackled from the room as Ember came back to her senses. “He may not after the talk we just had.”

“Jerk off thinks he can just take shifts whenever he wants. Wasn't in the damn agreement I signed.” Scanner sounded particularly annoyed as they pounded at the keys. “He'll get over it or he'll stay pouting.”

Something about their tone made the entire room wince. Andy didn't really see why, besides coworkers being mad at coworkers. That was really none of her business, so she left her aunt's side to enter the training room.

Time for more boring shit...

---

Well, leave it to Richter to know how to kill the mood.

Angel's ears were still ringing as he watched Andy set up for her training session. She went straight back to the same Nova videos she had been watching the last time, focusing in on what was probably her favorite at this point. It wasn't committed to his memory yet, but it was starting to transpose itself to the inside of his eyelids.

“So, what's up with that guy?” She kept her eyes on the screen. “Is Richter always that pissed off?”

The psychic snorted as he looked up from his sociology notes – yay minor classes. “He's mad because Ember told him to stick to his damn work schedule like the rest of us. We've been busting our asses covering for him and now he's mad he's not getting paid. The rules are pretty simple: if your ass isn't in the spandex, you don't get covered.”

It was on the paper they all signed when they first came up with their stupid nicknames that followed them for the rest of their careers. Somewhere, Ember kept them all to pull out and probably hit people with if they forgot. No doubt Richter got a few staples to the head when he tried to pull what he had. Too bad he hadn't noticed it, would've made the overtime and late nights with little sleep almost worth it.

Almost; he needed his sleep or shit got weird with his powers.

“Sounds like a dick.” She kept watching. “Never really liked him. Auntie's the coolest, but you and Ember are alright too.”

Angel would have been offended by that, but even he had to admit it was impossible to measure up with a butch lesbian in a leather jacket.

He finished scratching down some notes, pausing to check his student's progress. She was still sitting there, watching. Once in a while, her fingers would twitch as if she was trying to mimic whatever Nova was doing on screen. Nothing came off it except what probably would've been one hell of a cramp had she had normal fingers. Just watching her made his hurt as he continued to work.

“Is that actually helping?”

It took Andy a few seconds to respond – she was still doing the finger twitch. “No.”

Only his own blank face kept him from hitting the floor as she leaned back. “But it's not like I have any better ideas. You got any suggestions besides trying to make like Goku?”

Ah, so that had pissed her off more than he had thought. Angel felt his face heat up as he placed his books aside to join her in the middle of the room. That close, he would've been able to sense her aura if she had one. Instead, there was just the void that came with hanging out with an actual goddamn alien. In a way, it was kind of soothing. He didn't have to worry about picking up her thoughts.

Of course, that meant he couldn't get a handle on her powers either. With others, he could get hints if he read their auras. Without that key, they were both flying blind.

Great.

“Well, it's a blast, right? Try focusing on gathering energy in your hand. See, like here.” He tapped the frozen screen. Nova was center screen, holding out their glowing palm as they prepared to unleash one of their famous attacks. “I saw you were trying the whole palm thing, but really focus on imagining and gathering energy there.”

Andy shot him a blank look. “Gathering energy I've never seen.”

“Last I checked you don't have any better ideas.”

The blank stare he got in return would've melted steel. Andy didn't say anything after that, though. She just turned away from him and looked down at her outstretched palm. Of course, it wasn't really her palm. That was just the projection she used to get around.

…

Huh. Maybe perception was the thing.

---

“Have you considered trying to do it when you're blue?”

Andy picked up her head. For the last couple minutes, she had been staring down at her upturned palm in the hopes it would actually do something. The only thing that had changed was the fact Sky Rider was trying to help her, rather than losing himself to his books. Maybe he had finished his homework while she was attempting to train. She could respect those priorities.

He'd probably get along great with her sister. Maybe they had classes and she didn't even know it.

“What was that?”

Sky Rider gestured to her necklace. “Maybe you can't see your powers because the necklace is blocking it. There might be a hint when you're blue.”

Even thinking about her necklace made it feel heavier. Andy normally didn't even notice it, but now it was like having a boulder around her neck. She made a grab for it and felt the stone slip through her fingers. Every time she touched it, it felt like the tuning fork was being struck. When she was little, her mother had told her never to touch the stone while she was wearing it. While the woman had never elaborated, she got a feeling that may have been why.

And now she had to take it off?

Sky Rider must've taken her quiet for hesitation, because he rose and crossed the room. “Hey, Scan? Can you shut the cameras off for a second, I think they're gonna blow with the energy she's about to put out.”

“Not really supposed to do that...” she could hear the buttons clicking as the tech turned whatever was in there off – the electricity crackled as it faded out. “But it saves on having to make you replace the equipment for me. The one in there is a pain in the ass to reach, even if you can stand up for more than ten seconds.”

The psychic nodded as he backed away. “Thanks, I'll let you know when it's all clear in here.”

Then he was back at her side. Andy probably should have thanked him for that, but she had never been good at gratitude. Instead, she carefully gripped the necklace by the chain and pulled it over her head. As she did, she felt the energy field crackle as it was disrupted. It still held as long as it was touching her, but the moment she hung it up on a nearby chair, that field popped and died. No more extra fingers, she was back to how the universe had made her.

This was probably the part where she should have taken a deep breath. Couldn't quite manage that, but she could feel her core bubble and calm as she focused on the dead center of what she would have called her palm. At the moment, it was reflecting the overhead lights rather than making any of its own. A few seconds passed, and that didn't change.

“Well, this is productive.” She shot Sky Rider a blank look. “Got any better ideas?”

He shrugged – she hated humans could do that. “Keep trying. MegaFist didn't become MegaFist in a day.”

“No, she became MegaFist in about 12 minutes after being exposed to-” Andy stopped talking and shook her head. “Never mind, I don't think I'm affected by gamma rays anyway. Back to looking at my palm I guess.”

Sky Rider flashed her a thumbs up. “Just don't blow a hole in the wall, our neighbors have no idea they live next to superheroes.”

…

Yeah, she didn't even want to think about how that worked.

Andy looked back down at her palm, trying to picture the light she had seen that day. Of course, that was hard with her memories feeling like half cooked soup. They kept sloshing around inside her head, refusing to stay put long enough for one to make sense. She could only see bits and flashes of holding her hand up, of the heat and light that followed. None of that came with the activation instructions, though – just a cool light show.

Not exactly useful, but... at least she remembered seeing light first.

“Alright, stand back... I'm going to give it a try.”

Sky Rider jumped back so fast she swore he must have flown. That left her alone in the center of the room, facing the wall the exact way she had watched Nova do it time and time again. In her head, she mirrored the long gone hero as she held up her hand, palm stretched out. Then it was a matter of clearing her mind...

Andy watched her palm, hoping to see the light that would gather there. After a few seconds, she threw it out in the hopes it might be motion activated. Instead, she just managed to whack her hand into the wall when she leaned too far in.

It was a good thing she didn't bruise, or she was pretty sure she would've broken something from the solid collision she made with the wall.

“Are you two doing ok?” Ember's voice called out from the main room. “Sounds like you have jackhammer in there.”

Andy waved her hand to dissipate the vibration running up her arm. “Fine! Just experiencing some technical difficulties.”

That was putting it mildly. How the hell was she supposed to get this damn thing working? Now more than ever she wished Nova had left a manual behind... but until they found it, it was back to the drawing board.

Hopefully... she wouldn't put another dent in the wall. No way they'd be getting any kind of security deposit back now. Though, could someone do that with a bunch of superheroes? That be something she could ask her aunt about on the ride back.

But that was later. Fruitless practice came first.

---

Interested in supporting my writing? Head over to my ko-fi and help contribute to my coke zero addiction! 

#Supernova Collision Trilogy #writing

[apartyofone]

My 2020 – a not-short-enough story.

(Because the 2.7 people still following this blog want to know)

“Ouch”, I said rubbing my left foot in January. Huh – there’s a nasty cut. And swelling.

Hospital stay 1. MRIs. Xrays.

Hospital stay 2. CAT scan. More Xrays. Two exploratory surgeries in foot. Learn that many hospital meals include green jello.

“You’ve had a big staple embedded in your foot for years” says Dr.  “Huh,” I said. Never felt it.  Guess I really am an unfeeling bastard.

“Oh….and your bone is infected – we have to hack it out,” says Dr.

Two options:

1.       Chop whole foot off at heel, wear silly faux shoes rest of my life and I’m back hobbling around in 4 weeks.

2.       Remove infected bone. Insert temporary pins and spacer. More surgery 6 weeks later to place permanent cadaver bone with pins, rods, plates and everything else from some aisle at Home Depot. And a 4-6 month rehab but with my same foot, sans embedded ouchie metal staple.

Spent a sleepless night in hospital thinking it through.

“Dr, is Option 2 kind of a ‘Hail Mary’ play to save my foot?,” I ask.

He considers the question. “No,” he says. “More like a Philly Special.”

Game on then. Surgery 1 is on March 3. “Thumbs up,” said the sweaty Dr to me in post op. He spent 5 hours opening my foot up with a can opener and rearranging all the parts. No problems and I’m gonna be sprung from the joint very soon.

Or not. The next day my kidneys decide to go on vacation. Maybe jealous of all the attention to the lower body parts?  Maybe there was a staple in there,too?

Now I’m in a 10-day haze of dialysis, antibiotics, painkillers and countless doctors shaking their heads.  My kids and even my cold bastard of a brother is concerned.

Me, I’m just enjoying the hell out that green jello.

For absolutely no good reason, my kidneys suddenly return from the dead. Numbers stabilize. What happened? Docs have no clue. They’re more interested in something I’m just now hearing about: some new virus that’s filling up the ICU and other hospital beds. What’s a “covid19”?

Quarantine stops life but I’m blissfully unaware. Until the nurses tell me they’re getting worried about me being surrounded by people dying of this dreaded plague. Pushed out of the hospital in late March after a 26 day long stay. 

No more fucking green jello. Ever.

My medical odyssey scorecard to this point:

Minus: 1 old staple.

Add: Lots of stitches and hardware in my foot

Minus: About 60 lbs, or so I reckon looking in the mirror. 

Home health nurses, physical and occupational therapy folks come and go through a revolving door at my house for a month. My kids cater to my every need. Feeling blessed by both great health insurance and my family.

Everyone chafing from the locked down experience. Meanwhile I’m happy as hell to just be home. I’m in a bubble inside of a bubble of a world of mask, face shields and social distancing.

Hospital stay 3 is mercifully short. Follow up surgery goes according to plan. I decided to name the cadaver bone in my foot as “Kobe” to piss off a co worker who is a huge Lakers fan.

Now it’s just a matter of rest and keeping all weight off my foot. While I’m flat on my ass through April and May a plan starts to form. An adventure. Exactly what I need for today and tomorrow.

More Xrays. Bone graft is doing nicely. I ask my accountant if my cadaver bone implant qualifies as another dependent on my taxes. (Accountants have little  imagination and no sense of humor) 

Still no walking but at least I can start working from home.

June 1 and I’m back to work – albeit 30 miles from my old office. Love the new commute – stepping over two large and snoring yellow cats. Miss the workplace camaraderie and casual conversations that are part of my management style. Really miss walking back to the print shop and watching all the different books come off the press.

Learn Zoom. Move some pictures on my wall behind me to get a better backdrop. Immediately wish I had bought stock in the company that produced it. Takes awhile to get back into the swing of things at work.

I’m admittedly distracted. The afore mentioned plan pops up into my thoughts more and more. Already told my kids about it back in May as a “maybe”. It’s now a “oh hell yes.”

I surprised my financial advisors when I let them in on it. Spending evenings and weekends doing researching, reading books on the topic and formulating my own plans. When I get serious about something I make spreadsheets. Lots and lots of them.

So now it’s mid July and the plan is in full bloom.

I’m going to stay gainfully employed as the president of my company until around March, 2022.

On or around May 2022 I’m moving. Far away. Really far.

France. Or maybe Portugal, Greece or Spain. Or maybe all four for a little while because that’s what you can do when you retire.

I’m very happily leaving the (not) United States of America within 22 months. My decision has something to do with the ongoing political and social climate but it goes deeper. America now seems like a very backward place in so many important ways. Here’s one: Even though we lacked the good sense and discipline to obey scientists, wear masks and social distance, our idiot leader in Washington, D.C. insists that we risk our children’s lives to send them to school this fall.

Does this sound like a civilized nation? Because it doesn’t to me.

Love it, or leave it – say the cult45ers. M’OK.

I’ve offered the chance to live to Europe to both kids. Looks like my son is signing on – and I’m thrilled about that. Yeah, I could have handled this challenge alone. But it’s going to be easier – and nicer – to share it. And this could be an amazing fresh start for him.

Going to keep the house in the Philly suburbs. Daughter can live here as long as she likes. If she moves out I’ll probably rent it. Selling the house and completely pulling up stakes is the number one mistake people make when they go the ex-pat route.  I learned that early in my planning. And I’m keeping notes because….

All those books I was reading on the subject of retiring overseas? Horrible. Just plain awful. Every single one. So, yeah, I’m going to write my own book on the topic that will be THE end-all, be-all guide to the experience.

And if you need any advice on the ex-pat topic before the book comes out – such as how you can live large on $2500 a month in the south of France – give me a shout. Preferably not in French – I’m going to start learning the language sometime next year. 

FYI - ‘vert jello’ is the french translation of “green jello”. 

The best I advice I can give all 2.7 of you reading this – staying or leaving this country – is this:

Don’t step on staples.

#2020 #2022 plan

[passwordishp]

#gif #sexy 8 #heike michiyo #ohtani masae #satoda mai #kimura ayaka #yoshizawa hitomi #ishikawa rika #goto maki #yaguchi mari #shiawase desu ka #shuffle unit #collage #long post #I just spent €26 on jello #I'm great at being an adult

[abbyzart-blog]

Countdown-14 hr 26 min

I thought when I first came up with project that it would limit me enough that I could focus on just doing one thing and having a clear and concise concept that would be easy to share with my classmates.  Unfortunatly things haven’t turned out so simple- a large part of my brain is taking this project to the extreme and as such loosing the thread.  I just spent an inordinate amount of time talking myself out of suspending quarters in jello.  I have no purpose suspending quarters except for the fact that it might be “shocking”and a disturbance.  It would not further my concept, in fact it might well serve to derail it entirely. I need to focus on creating things with well... focus.

Progress- Bamboo leaves are soaking, wood ears are soaking, mushrooms are soaking, shrimp and lotus roots are thawing.  

#methods #methods of inquiry #mapping project #cooking #feast #countdown #preperation #reflection

[noareasofgrey]

The story of Silas 🌿

My pregnancy wasn’t an easy one. I almost died in child birth.

Sure, getting pregnant for me was easy & I don’t mean in a slutty way, in a wrong way, or to shame anyone who has trouble with the process - it just came easy to me. And to be honest , my husband and I didn’t think we were going to be able to have kids at all. My husband, has had some “groin” and hernia issues making him believe there was something wrong or may be wrong with his production and me, already having type one diabetes and ovarian cysts since I was a little girl, and at times through out my teenage time I was told I might not be able to bare children, and if I did they could be deformed...

December 23rd , 2018 - I am not sure what came over me- maybe after my eventful trip to Vegas where I accomplished so much off of my bucket list that I felt I’ve done all I could in life at that moment for myself and I just woke up and said “ I wanna start a family. This was a couple of days before Christmas ... I talked to my fiancé about it and he agreed, after 3 years together and 1 year of that engaged and living together - we were ready. We both just knew. We tried that week of Christmas , and every night I prayed - but the week of New Years I got my period, and I never cried so hard in my life. I thought I wasn’t going to be able to produce - Mu fiancé heard me crying and consoles me - he said that we should keep trying and not let this discourage us. He wiped my tears and we tried again in January- this time I used Fitbit to track when I was ovulating & we had sex the most at those times... before you know it February was here and by almost Valentines Day I had noticed ... I was late on my period. Hmm, that’s so weird . I thought/ almost forgetting I had been trying... I ran to Walmart and just like in the movies , I bought like 5 boxes of first response....came home , peed on almost half and ... all were positive. I fell to the floor and thanked God for giving me what I had been praying for... I told my fiancé on Valentines Day

So here’s where it got tricky, I spend most of my first trimester feeling actually pretty great. Which was weird , where is this “morning sickness” ? I thought- 😆 haha well, let me tell you , by about 6-8 weeks I started to vomit everyday. Ok, this is the morning sickness I thought- but thank God I am almost done my first trimester ... psh- Hypermesis Came in full effect... vomiting like the excorcist nearly 15 times a day. I could barely keep anything down at all... making my blood sugar numbers so crazy and my pregnant body dehydrated. I spent several days and times hospitalized for dehydration and set up with zofran drips and IV drips ... this went on for months as I stayed home and barely even made it to doctors appointments for my baby because of how servers it was- I couldn’t even drive without having a bag in my purse and sometimes pulling over. I couldn’t go down a grocery store aisle without heaving and everyone looking at me... it was a terrible couple of months in agony and pain. And then boom, third trimester hit. Firs week of my third trimester I was re ended pretty hard along street road. After that it sent my body into preeclampsia and I was monitored for that very intensely - every time I went to the ER and upping my doctor visits to 2-3 times a week which I could barely make still being sick... two months before I was due I had 6 visits to the ER, half being because I registered a high Bp at a doctor visit and they just sent me right over... when my urine samples came back that my kidneys were starting to be serverlt effected by it- they decided to hospitalize me and talk about a plan to enduce me and at this point I was only 32 weeks pregnant...

Day by day in the hospital , all my blood pressures did was get worse- even on medication , even on magnesium 48 hour drips and cathiters- even after IV blood pressure medicine ... nothing seemed to work. They have me two shots of steroids to develope his lungs before the birthing process and began to induce me. And it didn’t work at all, everything they did to try to induce me just made my blood pressure even worse. They came in to get my blood every two hours to make sure my kidneys weren’t getting worse. All my veins in my body were blown and they kept sending flobotimy specialists to come take my blood because I had no more veins left to give - and when the last blood test at 3pm on September 1st registered my liver was being affected too/ they rushed in with a team of 5 doctors and 6 nurses to perform an emergency c section.

I was so scared- all this paper work to sign about death before being wheeled into a room with more than a dozen people. They set me up with this magnesium drip and it’s the absolute worst thing I’ve ever experienced in my life & trust me I’ve been through a lot. It makes your body life less like jello and tired like a zombie ... you can’t move and you are cathiterized the entire time... unable to move from the bed you lay lifeless in pain. I needed to be on this twice and the entire time during child birth because the medicine they were giving me for my high BP wasn’t enough- the magnesium was a slow drip keeping my pressure at a lower - high more steady level- it also prevents seizures which they were afraid I was going to have during childbirth - or a heart attack... so with all that risk I had no choice- I lay on a silver slab- looking up, praying to God every second that if I die to please watch over my baby boy. I don’t care what happened to me just save him, I thought.... I sat naked on the slab as they shoved this long wire like needle into my spine , my bottom have began to whither away from me. I felt ... parapalegic. A video camera started to roll and they lay me on my back- back onto the silver slab... “here we have Brianna ****** , 26 year old female with type one diabetes and preeclampsia with servers features - we have to perform an emergency c section to save the mom and try out best to save the baby Brianna has agreed to a blood transfusion if need be, her blood type is ***,” then they went around the room saying their name and their position and what they would be doing to me. The camera shut off I don’t remember much after that except my fiancé then being allowed to come in. They put up a blue shield in front of us and I felt pressure on my stomach/ I leaned in to my fiancé who was holding my shaking hand. I asked him to speak to me about something to distract me- so he did, I don’t remember what he said and I don’t remember how long it took. To this day it felt like 5 minutes but my fiancé said we were in there for over 3 hours... at 4:15 pm our son, Silas Guni Casilla , was born. A full lunged - beautiful 4 lb 14 oz baby boy! What a miracle from God. But , oh no- I felt something ... wrong . Why did I feel something wrong when I wasn’t supposed to feel something ? “I can feel that, ugh! I can feel that!” I screamed as I squeezed my fiancé’s hand- “ok dialing it up!”

Morphine. I had only had this one other time in my life- also during an emergency surgery. My for the removal of my gallbladder at 15- that’s another story for another time. Anyway I knew it was morphine ... instantly hot head and then chest and then... calmness throughout the body... my eyes... I could barely keep them open. Dr. potterjoy brings my screaming son over- covered still in my bodily fluids which held him so safe for so long- I smiled at him, getting dizzy and tired but trying to see what I created. “ eat his nose! “ he wiggles my son into my mouth and I gobbled him nose/ have him a kiss and blacked out.

Woke up that night and my son was already in the NICU. And there he stay for over a month. In the warmth of a fake womb until his due date ... learning how to eat and do normal kid things. Getting stronger by the day - as mom fell apart. the process of almost dying during child birth changes a person. So does being a mother... this has been a weird but amazingly blessed year.

#preemie #preemature #NICU #pregnant #hyperemesis #premature #preeclampsia #momlife #birthstory #short story #truestory

[yoolee]

About Lee

@cavern-of-bells made a FUN LIST OF THINGS so I answered them.

1. What kind of food can’t you stand?:  I fervently avoid all food that squelches – like grapes and ‘gelatinous snow fungus’ (that is a google-translated name for a mushroom in a soup my roomie from China made me once – aside from that ingredient, it was interesting). I’ve never, not once in my life, eaten Jello. 

2. If you could choose one minor inconvenience to never have to deal with again, what would you pick?:  Smoke alarm chirping. I could also happily do without pharmaceutical ads, which I think should be illegal, and election campaign ads.

3. Have you got any useless talents?:  AHAHAHA. I can sing the chipmunk Christmas song and say the alphabet backwards? I’m also hypermobile—did a stint in the local circus as a contortionist in high school. (non-animal circus – just acrobatic acts)

4. If you could be really really good at one thing, what would it be?:  Making people smile.

5. Name a few people you think are extremely good-looking: Mila Kunis, Barbara Palvin, Wendell Lissimore, Chris Evans, Zendaya Coleman, Natalie Portma, Godfrey Gao

6. What was your favorite way to pass the time as a kid?:  READING (/daydreaming about book worlds) but also figure skating while we could still afford it. It was as close to flying as I could get! 

7. What is something you’re proud of?:  When I was in my MBA program, my 59 classmates voted me ‘Most Likely to Change the World’. It’s framed next to my diplomas. Though, to be fair, it also sort of haunts me because I feel like I’m not living up to it. 

8. What’s one character flaw in people that you just can’t tolerate?:  I despise being patronized. Being ignorant and refusing to admit it in the face of facts.

9. Do you consider yourself to be more of a leader or a follower?:  Leader -  not a good one, but, I’m not a follower.

10. What kind of student are/were you?:  A really lazy, procrastinating one who still got A’s/B’s. I was a really good test taker.

11. Butterfly effect question! Has there ever been a seemingly minor decision you’ve made (at the time) that ended up having a profound influence on your life?:  Reading in class in 7th grade science. My teacher made a deal with me – if I could pass the pre-quiz at the start of every week, he’d let me read instead of pay attention, but he would get to pick the book. He introduced me to Michael Crichton and Anne McCaffery, which were my first forays into sci-fi, and my involvement in that has rippled through most of my major friend groups since. Alternately, attending a training at my first career job, which introduced me to the career I now have.

12. Name your most irrational fear/aversion: Ants. I hate ants. Where there’s one, there’s hundreds, and there’s nowhere I can go that they can’t get too, and they’re small enough to crawl in your nose and stuff. I sat in a fire ant hill as a kid, which was strike one. Strike two was moving into a house that had been abandoned for seven months when I was in third grade – turned on the tub water and it came out black there were so many ants in the pipes, and they just POURED into the tub and swarmed up the sides oh god it was like a horror movie. Other than that, most of my fears are pretty average – failure, my family being hurt, etc.

13. Are there any fictional characters you find especially relatable?:  I am self-centered enough to find myself in most characters – there’s usually one or two aspects that line up. Unless they are Lawful Good then I’m like…uuuugh. Nope, nothing there.

14. If you drink, what kind of drunk are you? Alternatively, what sort of person are you at parties?:  I am a giggly, ballet-dancing drunk. I get hyper paranoid about my spatial issues so I literally go into ballet-mode because the movements are naturally slower and more flowy. I am also pretty clingy drunk. I like to snuggle, which is funny because sober me is not big on touching or being touched. Not to overanalyze, but I think being drunk takes away the fear of that. At parties I am that awkward wall-hovering introvert who likes to find an extrovert and make them talk while I nod and wait to GTFO. I spent the entirety of my bro’s wedding reception babysitting a 4 and 5 year old because it was so much less stressful than making small talk (simultaneously playing Go Fish AND Who’s Who Monster Edition LIKE A CHAMP)

15. Do you fall in love easily? Or does it usually take a long time for you to trust someone?:  AHAHAHAHA no. I genuinely don’t think I’ve ever honestly been in love – just more fond of one person than most. Invariably, I find I prefer my own company to theirs after a time.

16. Would you rather have one close friend or 100 casual friends?:  This is a really hard one. 100 casual friends means more people to do stuff with, but, I treasure my close friends. I don’t know. Pass!

17. Do you consider yourself to be more of a slob or a neat-freak?:  I. AM. SUCH. A. SLOB. *sobs* My room should have a hazard sign.

18. Describe a place (imaginary or real) that you would find incredibly cozy: I am not feeling creative – a bedroom that cleans itself, with lots of soft, fuzzy blanket piles and pillows, with tea services (including scones!) and lots of bookshelves. A view of a duck pond would be appreciated too lololol. 

19. Do you have kids? If not, do you want them someday?: I don’t have kids. I truly treasure spending time with the kids in my family, and I work part-time as a princess/elf/storyteller at the local zoo – I like kids, but, I am a really selfish and self-centered person, and I move on to new things—including people—with serious regularity. I don’t think I would be a good parent at all. I wish I could be, but, knowing my flaws, it would be really irresponsible to have kids.

20. What was your favorite book as a child?  Elementary school – it was a book about a little black cat who went to boarding school, and there was a yellow spotted cat with a fire truck. Don’t remember the name. I also love the Wizard of Oz books (SO DARK). As a middle schooler – The Blue Sword by Robin McKinley. I needed a Mary Sue at that point in my life. Also loved the Dragonsinger series by Anne McCaffery, and everything by Mercedes Lackey and Tamora Pierce. In high school…The Things They Carried, I suppose. Now, probably Fuyumi Ono’s Twelve Kingdom’s series. It’s YA, but, the characters are so flawed, and so redeemed, I find it really interesting.

21. Name one thing you just don’t get what all the hype is about: Disney World  

22. Name one thing that you think is tragically underrated: The Emperor’s New Groove is the best Disney movie ever. ALSO, Mary Sues. Middle School me needed Mary Sues. I think most do. Go easy on ‘em.

23. If you had to be glued to a person for a month, real or fictional (who you have never met), who would you choose?: UM. HM. Someone who doesn’t need to shower to smell clean? XD Lady Luck, maybe. It would be fascinating to watch – both good and bad luck – unfold all around.

24. What’s something you’d like the chance to do someday?: This feels super arrogant – but I’d like to be a good enough author to have a book published and do a book signing. With people who actually come to get the book signed!

25. Do you typically speak your mind when you have a controversial opinion? Or do generally prefer to not rock the boat?: I like to work behind the scenes. Usually I write like a multi-page rebuttal with linked references, but I rarely post it. Sometimes I do. I call my senators roughly weekly, for what that’s worth, but public discourse is not my thing.

26. What’s the dumbest fad you’ve been caught up in?: ….uuuum. Hmm. Butterfly clips, maybe? But then, it was the 90s and I was eleven, so. 

27. What’s something you thought was cool as a kid/adolescent, but now cringe at yourself for?:  I DON’T CRINGE AT MYSELF but Dragonball Z. XD I forgive my kid/adolescent self for a lot, okay.

28. What’s a trait you consider to be very admirable?: The willingness to publically, and politely, engage in debate in service of someone else. Genuine ability to interact with other people in a way that leaves them feeling better for having interacted with you.

29. Is there a particular kind of item people always tend to give you as gifts? (For instance, people always get you things with ducks on them because you like ducks, etc.): LITERALLY, DUCKS. I love ducks. People give me ceramic ducks all the time. Also socks, because my grandma collected fancy decorative perfume bottles and one Christmas my mom and I went to like 10 stores looking for one she didn’t have and I pitched a FIT saying when I was older I was going to collect socks because you always need more, and there’s no way people would run out of options for me. My family thought this was hilarious and took me up on it. My grandpa shipped me socks from the dollar store once a month while I was in college.

30. Do you speak multiple languages? Which ones?: I wish I did! I can cuss in quite a few, and I know some conversational Irish from studying abroad there and studying it. 

31. Would you rather live in the big city or the countryside?: Having lived in both – the big city. It’s too easy to self-isolate in the countryside, and for me, personally, that’s fairly unhealthy. Countryside is definitely prettier and more peaceful, just, not for me.

32. Has there ever been something you were certain you’d hate, but ended up loving?: Literally all the time. Like, Mitsunari in SLBP for example!

33. Do you mind being the center of attention, or do you prefer the spotlight to be on someone else?: Ahahahaha give me all of the attention please /sigh

34. Favorite holiday?: Halloweeeeen. But I also really like Diwali even if I feel a little bit like I am trespassing/being a tourist. It’s just beautiful.

35. Are you a more go-with-the-flow type of person, or do you need to have things planned meticulously?: “PLANNED” AHAHAHA WHAT IS THAT WORD IDK. I am so last-minute and haphazard it’s absurd.

36. Is there something you loved so much you wish you could forget it and experience it all over again? (A tv show, book, series–anything.) : The pleasure of reading books in middle school. Those ‘first’ exposures, without expectation or standards. EVERYTHING was magical and exciting, and I devoured it all. Alternately, college. 

37. What hobbies do you have?: UM. I dress up as a princess/superhero and visit kids in the hospital which is…weird, I know. I get paid to do it at the zoo, and some parents reached out to them and asked if we could visit and then it became a thing. Less so now that I’m in a new city. Martial arts (Hapkido, Judo, Taekwondo), ballet, baking with zucchini, photoshopping, reading, writing SLBP fanfiction, playing otome games…XD

38. If you could have a superpower, but it was only mildly useful, what ability would you want to have?: THE ABILITY TO FEEL WELL-RESTED AT ANY TIME. Or good luck, but I’d argue that would be more than mildly useful. Ability to find the right thing to say to cheer someone up!

39. Something people are always surprised to learn about you: Online folks are usually surprised to learn I’m old? Friends IRL are usually surprised I’m Chaotic Evil (I won’t say I’m two-faced, I’ll say I try really hard to be nice, and I act like it well, but it is an act – I don’t genuinely possess any empathy to speak of. I will listen to you, but I probably don’t actually care, I just want to – there is a difference) and work folks are usually pretty surprised at the Chemistry background. FOLLOWERS OF THIS BLOG won’t be surprised but, I friggen love Waffle House. That usually throws people for al oop.

40. Something that took you way too long to figure out: That I’m bi? I was on BC for so long I thought I was ace, so when I finally developed a drive in my late/mid-twenties it was sort of shocking to realize it’s only rarely set to hetero, and like, I still don’t know how to act on that. ALSO for years I had no idea there was a little arrow on your gas gauge to tell you which side the gas pump’s on – comes in super handy in rental cars.

41. Worst injury you’ve had? Physically? Fell out of a tree as a kid and snapped an arm bone in half – one half went on top of the other. Other things have happened that took longer to emotionally recover, but, physically that was the worst probably. Weirdly, I fell off of the roof with no injury, but…idk I’m weirdly durable.

42. Any morbid fascinations?: Snake venom. I could probably write a dissertation. 

43. Describe your sense of humor: I LOVE PUNS. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. I like ‘smart’ humor (puns are clever) and nerdy humor, but I don’t like mean humor. I also laugh at gallows humor a lot.

44. If you had to be born in another era/place, which would you choose?: Okay this is really hard because I would be useless in most other eras and I would miss indoor plumbing and women’s rights and people not regularly dying around me. I am probably biased by being interested in times with the best myths/stories. Ancient Egypt? Viking Age? Basically any time period in China or Japan because my US-centric world history studies seriously failed me they are a bit of a fascinating mystery. 

45. Something you are irredeemably bad at: LOL this would be a long list. (you said ‘thing’ singular, I am taking that as a friendly suggestion not a mandate) Push-ups (hypermobile elbows, okay). Cleaning. LOGISTICS AND PLANNING OH LORD. Editing my own work. SMALL TALK oh god I am the worst at small talk I even took a class on it trying to get better. Gracefully accepting compliments - how does one do that and not come off as obnoxious ;.;

46. Something that sucked but you’re glad you went through: Most recently, dumping a Really Good Guy. A past me would have just quietly let it fade into oblivion and that would have been worse. I think? 

47. Would you rather have a really godawful ugly tattoo in a place that is only slightly inconvenient to conceal with clothing (upper arm, thigh, etc.), or the coolest, most beautiful tattoo ever in the middle of your face? (Neither tattoo can be removed or concealed with makeup, and the ugly tattoo will deeply offend anyone who sees it.): lololol oh my gosh. I don’t like offending people. So. I guess pretty one on my face.

48. Are you more of an optimist or a pessimist?: Eeeeeeh.I guess optimist, but that’s mostly laziness.

49. What would be the most flattering compliment someone could give you?: That I have made their life better or brighter somehow. 

50. Something you feel people often misunderstand about you: I am simultaneously incredibly confident about things and incredibly craven about people! And that’s hard for people to get sometimes. Like, my writing I am wholly confident of and proud of to the point of arrogance – as a thing. But the moment someone talks to me about it I get petrified because oh god what if I, as a person say or do something that turns them off to the point where they can’t enjoy the writing (the thing).  It’s greatly exacerbated by the internet where I can’t read tone or facial expressions – but I’m still pretty bad about this offline too. Like, I hate even going to Chipotle or Qdoba where there isn’t a big line of people (if there’s a big line of people everything is hustling and bustling and moving along) – I greatly dislike social interactions that lack a script. But, put my project in front of a board of directors or the company president, and I will kick tush and take names. It’s a weird dichotomy, but that’s how I’m wired.

THIS WAS FUN. GOOD QUESTIONS

I TAG YOU, PERSON READING THIS.

#about yoolee

[syntheticaesthetic]

50 More interesting questions

Rules: fill this out and tag at least one person you’d like to know more about! Or just fill it out! Or don’t! Answer only some of them! Make up your own questions! “What kind of requirement is that”, you ask? A reasonable one! Who am I to tell you what to do? Anything goes!

I was tagged by @praxid!

1. What kind of food can’t you stand?: I’m sort of picky about texture. Not big on things that are sort of gelatinous - so no jello for me. I’m also not big tropical fruit person so I don’t like pineapple or most melons.

2. If you could choose one minor inconvenience to never have to deal with again, what would you pick?: Brushing my hair. It mats up while in a braided bun as I sleep. It takes hours to brush out. 

3. Have you got any useless talents?: I don’t have any talents really.

4. If you could be really really good at one thing, what would it be?: Film/photography/writing.

5. Name a few people you think are extremely good-looking: Melissa McBride, Sonequa Martin-Green, Andrew-Lee Potts, Kit Harrington, Karen Gillan, David Tennant, Scarlett Johansson, Jamie N Commons, Danai Gurirra, Donald Glover, Milla Jovovich, Tatiana Maslany, I should top. I find lots of people pretty. 

6. What was your favorite way to pass the time as a kid?: Reading, interneting, hitting my brother with sticks and getting hit back.

7. What is something you’re proud of?: I decided I wasn’t going to let another student film festival go uncaptioned at my college. I was the only one who captioned every film and I don’t think anyone has captioned the film festivals since, but I know that there were a few students that were able to attend the festival I did because they felt welcome for once. Fuck the kids who bitched about the captioning, it wasn’t for you.

8. What’s one character flaw in people that you just can’t tolerate?: Lying. For fuck’s sake just tell the truth. Also, don’t be cruel or intolerant of people’s differences or differences of opinion. Fuck you, there’s room for everyone and everyone’s thoughts. 

9. Do you consider yourself to be more of a leader or a follower?:  I’m a leader when I feel I must be - if absolutely no one else will step up, but I much prefer being a follower.

10. What kind of student are/were you?: I worked harder than anyone else to achieve mediocre status. 

11. Butterfly effect question! Has there ever been a seemingly minor decision you’ve made (at the time) that ended up having a profound influence on your life?: I told someone I liked a wristband/sweatband they were wearing and we became fast friends. I picked a school based on school colors. I followed my roommate to an ASL club meeting because she wanted me to get out of the dorm. I got a tumblr hahah. Honestly though the people I’ve met on tumblr have saved me so thank you.

12. Name your most irrational fear/aversion: Eyes - I don’t like eye drops, people touching their eyes, eye things happening in movies. I don’t like spiders. I’m still a little afraid of the dark. 

13. Are there any fictional characters you find especially relatable?: Tim Wright,  Jay Merrick, Clint Barton, Abby Maitland, Connor Temple, VERONICA MARS, Jessica Jones, 

14. If you drink, what kind of drunk are you? Alternatively, what sort of person are you at parties?: I get the munchies. And giggly. And sleepy. And I desire Left 4 Dead. Its my drunk video game. 

15. Do you fall in love easily? Or does it usually take a long time for you to trust someone?: I fall in love with concepts. I fall in love with characters. I fall in love with every dog I meet. But I’ve never had the opportunity to fall in love with a person. I love my friends, but I think that’s a different question? 

16. Would you rather have one close friend or 100 casual friends?: One close friend.

17. Do you consider yourself to be more of a slob or a neat-freak?: I’m a neat-freak who has given up. Dog hair will never be eradicated. I don’t have the energy to clean the way I want. My mind is too chaotic and I need clutter around me or I feel uncomfortable. Weirdly enough I was watching a documentary on Carrie Fisher and her mother, and I saw Carrie’s house and went “that’s me!” It seemed that her house was that way because of her bipolar status. I’m not bipolar but I do have major crippling anxiety and I think I clutter and throw art and things all over the walls as some sort of comforting mechanism. I’m unable to decorate like Adults do - I can’t do minimalism. It stresses me out. 

18. Describe a place (imaginary or real) that you would find incredibly cozy: Pacific northwest. Woods near a big lake or the ocean. Older farmhouse with brick and reclaimed wood. I have a room decorated in my usual chaos. There’s a bay window big enough for me and Ruby to both be on it at the same time. Its raining and the fall leaves are piled on the ground. I have candles and incense burning. Good music. Maybe a friend sitting on the computer next to me. There’s coffee and marionberry pie. Its october and everything is foggy and spooky and gentle and calm. Its probably sunday.

19. Do you have kids? If not, do you want them someday?: I don’t have any human kids. I like them, I think they’re funny. I’d want some if I was confident in my ability to care for them and raise them right and take care of them in all the ways they deserve.

20. What was your favorite book as a child? Harry Potter. To find something that not everyone else my age would say....Everything’s Eventual?

21. Name one thing you just don’t get what all the hype is about: Undertale. Its fine but I can’t get into it in the way everyone else does. 

22. Name one thing that you think is tragically underrated: Films on YouTube by indie filmmakers.

23. If you had to be glued to a person for a month, real or fictional (who you have never met), who would you choose?: Andrew-Lee Potts during the early days of Keychain Productions. Blood On Benefits made me want to make films, and I think spending a month with him working on all those short films would have made me actually live my dream rather than giving up on it. 

24. What’s something you’d like the chance to do someday?: I want to make films. I want to write an original story. Maybe make a video game? I want to make something. Do some crafting. Meet someone and actually date them. I’d like to have a kiss at some point, to see what that’s like. Have friends that live nearby that I can see frequently. 

25. Do you typically speak your mind when you have a controversial opinion? Or do generally prefer to not rock the boat?: No! Opinions are dangerous and people don’t like having friends that have different opinions than them, and I’d never have friends because I either don’t share the same opinions or I don’t feel strongly about my opinions. I’m very open to having people change my opinions. I’m not married to them. Please change my mind, I like thinking about things in a new way. But I am not going to share my opinions because it just causes so many fights among people - I just don’t feel safe doing it. 

26. What’s the dumbest fad you’ve been caught up in?: I’m sure it was fashion related but honestly I don’t care to think too hard about it. 

27. What’s something you thought was cool as a kid/adolescent, but now cringe at yourself for?: Only doing eyeliner on my bottom lids?

28. What’s a trait you consider to be very admirable?: True empathy. The ability to have practical skills that help people. 

29. Is there a particular kind of item people always tend to give you as gifts? (For instance, people always get you things with ducks on them because you like ducks, etc.): Hmmm....nerdy things? I mostly get gifts from Tumblr friends because we share fandoms so while the fandoms vary its usually homemade things based on our favorite things. And bless you all for it too - As my mom could tell you I beam for weeks upon receiving your guys gifts! I wish I could repay the kindness!

30. Do you speak multiple languages? Which ones?: I can do some really basic ASL. I used to do some basic spanish but that was many many years ago and I don’t think it would come back easily.

31. Would you rather live in the big city or the countryside?: Woods, middle of. I need my million dogs and my lots of land and fresh air. 

32. Has there ever been something you were certain you’d hate, but ended up loving?: the MCU lol

33. Do you mind being the center of attention, or do you prefer the spotlight to be on someone else?: Being the center of attention gives me anxiety.

34. Favorite holiday?: SPOOKY SCARY

35. Are you a more go-with-the-flow type of person, or do you need to have things planned meticulously?: My anxiety demands I have plans. Now, those plans are allowed to change, but I need to start with plans. 

36. Is there something you loved so much you wish you could forget it and experience it all over again? (A tv show, book, series–anything.): No.

37. What hobbies do you have?: Internet. Fanfiction writing (hahahahahaha). Photography. When my hand heals I wanna do leatherworking.

38. If you could have a superpower, but it was only mildly useful, what ability would you want to have?: I just want to know what my dog is thinking. So a superpower that lets me know what dogs are thinking/saying?

39. Something people are always surprised to learn about you: Could someone answer this for me? Because I don’t think anyone’s ever given me feedback on this one. 

40. Something that took you way too long to figure out: That I needed to do something about my anxiety. It gave me so many health problems and kept me from living my life. 

41. Worst injury you’ve had?: I’ve slammed my head against giant rocks. Hurt my knee in volleyball.

42. Any morbid fascinations?: Weirdly enough, not really! Post-nuclear apocalypses maybe? http://althistory.wikia.com/wiki/1983:_Doomsday was something I spent weeks immersed in to the detriment of my mental health.

43. Describe your sense of humor: Sarcastic, bitter, shitty puns? 

44. If you had to be born in another era/place, which would you choose?: 80s? Goth scene, I could have seen Depeche Mode and The Cure in their prime. 

45. Something you are irredeemably bad at: life

46. Something that sucked but you’re glad you went through: Being a shitty friend. Now I know how to not be that shitty?

47. Would you rather have a really godawful ugly tattoo in a place that is only slightly inconvenient to conceal with clothing (upper arm, thigh, etc.), or the coolest, most beautiful tattoo ever in the middle of your face? (Neither tattoo can be removed or concealed with makeup, and the ugly tattoo will deeply offend anyone who sees it.): Gimme that face tattoo.

48. Are you more of an optimist or a pessimist?: I like to think pessimistically so that if its true I’m not surprised but if it turns out better I can be pleasantly surprised!

49. What would be the most flattering compliment someone could give you?: That they genuinely loved me and that I made a difference in their life. 

50. Something you feel people often misunderstand about you: I don’t know........ How bone achingly lonely I am? Maybe someone can help me out on this one too. I don’t know if anyone really “understands” me - I don’t communicate my mindset well. 

I’m tagging: @gallifreystands @the44thpilot @autumnxtoxashes @ms-fagerstrom @marionarnold

#About Me

[peppernine]

i got tagged in this like a month ago and forgot about it, as i knew i would

@fearthepandas (who is lovely and amazing and wonderful god bless) tagged me in this and then I spent a month thinking about this and absolutely NOT doing it so... yeah. hey @bitsandshits​ you gotta do it now

1. Coffee or tea? Tea 2. Black and white or color? Color 3. Drawings or paintings? ...paintings 4. Dresses or skirts? i’m not sure i understand the distinction? but dresses 5. Books or movies? the book 6. Pepsi or Coke? I Am Not A Heathen So Obviously Coke 7. Chinese or Italian? Italian, gotta get those carbs in 8. Early bird or night owl? my brain is ready to fucking go at 9pm like clockwork 9. Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate 10. Introvert or extrovert? Hella introverted 11. Hugs or kisses? hugs for sure 12. Hunting or fishing? fishing. i’m the only one in my family who doesn’t hunt actually 13. Winter or summer? summer, the midwest can kiss my sunburnt ass  14. Spring or fall? F A L L  15. Rural or urban? ughhhhh fine, urban 16. PC or Mac? Mac 17. Tan or pale? what does this mean 18. Cake or pie? but WHO’S MAKING THE PIE? 19. Ice cream or yogurt? ice cream 20. Ketchup or mustard? mustard on the hotdog, ketchup on the fries 21. Sweet pickles or dill pickles? dill  22. Comedy or mystery? mystery 23. Boots or sandals? boots  24. Silver or gold? lets go with gold 25. Pop or Rock? have you considered Pop Rocks? 26. Dancing or singing? i’m terrible at both thanks (dancing) 27. Checkers or chess? checkers, but only played outside of cracker barrel 28. Board games or video games? board games 29. Wine or beer? listen... i am a huge Cork Dork  30. Freckles or dimples? Freckles 31. Honey mustard or BBQ sauce? honey mustard 32. Body weight exercises or lifting weights? body weight 33. Baseball or basketball? basketball, hit me up with court side seats yo 34. Crossword puzzles or sudokus? instead of taking notes in bio lecture i just did sudoku all semester 35. Facial hair or clean shaven? Clean shaven. i don’t trust beards 36. Crushed ice or cubed ice? crushed 37. Skiing or snowboarding? skiing, but like, badly 38. Smile or game face? game face 39. Bracelet or necklace? necklace 40. Fruit or vegetables? fruit 41. Sausage or bacon? bacon 42. Scrambled or fried? fried, but not runny 43. Dark chocolate or white chocolate? Dark chocolate, can’t stand white 44. Tattoos or piercings? hmmmmm tattoos, but I have piercings 45. Antique or brand new? antique 46. Dress up or dress down? Dress up 47. Cowboys or aliens? uh aliens 48. Cats or dogs? cats 49. Pancakes or waffles? Waffles Are Superior 50. Bond or Bourne? Bourne probs 51. Sci-Fi or fantasy? Sci-Fi 52. Numbers or letters? Letters? 53. Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings? why is this a question (LOTR) 54. Fair or theme park? theme park 55. Money or fame? $$$$$$ 56. Washing dishes or doing laundry? ok i’ll do both but don’t make me put anything away 57. Snakes or sharks? pet snakes, wild sharks? 58. Orange juice or apple juice? apple  59. Sunrise or sunset? Sunset 60. Slacker or over-achiever? Over achiever 61. Pen or pencil? Pen 62. Peanut butter or jelly? peanut butter 63. Grammys or Oscars? hngg oscars i guess 64. Detailed or abstract? Detailed 65. Multiple choice questions or essay questions? essay - partial credit 66. Adventurous or cautious? i’m just fucking reckless 67. Saver or spender? i save more 68. Glasses or contacts? glasses, i have an eye phobia - can’t do contacts 69. Laptop or desktop? laptop 70. Classic or modern? classic 71. Personal chef or personal fitness trainer? trainer 72. Internet or cell phone? internet 73. Call or text? text (why would you ever call a deaf person - be honest) 74. Curly hair or straight hair? i got curly hair don’t care 75. Shower in the morning or shower in the evening? evening  76. Spicy or mild? spicy 77. Marvel or DC? marvel yo 78. Paying a mortgage or paying rent? rent?  79. Sky dive or bungee jump? you will never convince me that bungee jumping is safe 80. Oreos or Chips Ahoy? oreos 81. Jello or pudding? jello 82. Truth or dare? dare 83. Roller coaster or Ferris wheel? roller coaster 84. Leather or denim? Denim 85. Stripes or solids? Stripes 86. Bagels or muffins? bagels 87. Whole wheat or white? Wheat 88. Beads or pearls? Pearls 89. Hardwood or carpet? hardwood 90. Bright colors or neutral tones? neutrals 91. Be older than you are or younger than you are? older i think 92. Raisins or nuts? Nuts 93. Picnic or nice restaurant? Nice restaurant 94. Black leather or brown leather? Black 95. Long hair or short hair? i just cut 4 inches off my hair 96. “Ready, aim, fire” or “Ready, fire, aim”? one of these phrases is real and the other is not 97. Fiction or non-fiction? fiction 98. Smoking or non-smoking? i aint never smoked a cig in my life my dude 99. Think before you talk or talk before you think? Thinking first is important 100. Asking questions or answering questions? answering 

#gibberish with meg #i gotta lotta opinions and love talking about myself so this is right up my alley #also hey liz? we can't be friends anymore sorry

[iivlvii]

Day 46 - 07:26

Weight: 182.6/182.4

I still haven't slept, so I'm not going to weigh myself yet. Hopefully this insomnia leaves me soon.

-

Woke up at 11:30 and weighed. Bet. 60 hours to get back to my last fasting end weight, but it's all up (down?) from here!

But wow. 10lbs in 2.5 days! This is awesome! Of course, I know I'd gain 8 of those back as soon as I start drinking water. But the rest of the next five days will burn enough fat to keep me in a good safe range. At 2lbs a day, that's 10lbs of weight loss*, and at 3lbs a day, that's 15lbs of weight loss. Praying to get closer to 15 lol.

*which would put me at 172, the weight I could have been at the end of December if life didn't get in the way 😔 and 15 would put me at my first goal weight, oh my god 😻🙀 being 167 by the 19th would fuck me up!! Second round of fasting could get me to around 155ish over 8 days. Third round of fasting could get me to around 145ish, and my (short) forth round could probably help me hit 138-142! I can be down 40lbs by Valentine's!

Then I could give that stuff back to Steph and she'll feel pity because of how sick I look and maybe Tonda will forgive me lmao.

And the next time I see Robert and Bri, there's no way they'll be able to deny or ignore my weight loss. Bri might end up impressed or even jealous, but only Robert will really know the weight (ha!) of the situation and I hope it secretly worries him. I hope it scares him. Since he's so keen on ignoring me, maybe my ED can get his attention. I'm so motivated to be noticeably lighter by the time he sees me. I can't wait for his birthday party.

That's not even MENTIONING the fact that I want to talk with Митя before this month ends and I want to be at a new LW for this year before I allow myself to do that. If I stick to refeeding for a few days and only slowly increase my calories, I shouldn't gain too much. And I'm hoping my estimates are conservative and that I'm able to lose even more. Honestly, even after I refeed, I'll probably fast 1-3 days a week to maintain autophagy and keep my weight from getting too high.

There's no way I'm going to break this fast at any point now. New Year, new me, bitch!

Thoughts:

I've had a very bad migraine-level headache since last night, with nausea and everything. Something that was bothering me last night and seems to be following me into today is that my hip joints hurt so badly. Too badly to sleep. No matter how I move, it hurts. I get this every so often, but what a convenient time :/

Hoping I pass out soon.

11:59:

Eventually passed out. Don't think I slept longer than 3hrs, but it's whatever. I'm going to use today to rest, cause my body is worn out.

17:00:

I've been napping all day and I wake up nauseous every time 🙃 at least it's kept me from being too preoccupied with the time. I don't expect to lose too much weight by tomorrow, but I don't super care since the nausea's the most important thing to manage. I'm barely on day three and I'm feeling like I usually do on day 5 :/

23:38:

It comes and goes, but it's pretty low rn. Spent the last 3 hrs adding food from thrive to my wishlist. I was mostly looking up drinks and those squeeze packets. I adore those. Can't wait till my safe food gets here. Still need to get sugar free Jello and kombucha, but that's a Wal-Mart away.

Night weight wasn't especially different than morning. I might stop weighing at night entirely and just record my morning weights. If I was a real one, I'd weigh before my fast and after only, but I do feel encouraged seeing the scale go down day by day.

Sunday, January 13, 2019

#personal

[lost-and-a-tiny-bit-scared]

I’m sorry for this ridiculously long post. I’ve been procrastinating on updating this and how I’m stuck with this mess. 

Friday. 22 June 2018. 

-Went to USC and stage managed my first show there. Felt more clueless and scatterbrained than the day before. Spencer was helping me more than I wanted. Show went smoothly though!!! Nothing was on fire. it was okay. Met other SM, Savannah. She is just as shy as I am. 

Saturday. 23 June 2018. 

- Woke up early for morning receptionist shift. 

Sunday. 24 June 2018. 

-Went over to Ambers house. We called Tasha and asked is she was free. 

-Drove over to Tasha’s. She took us to this Mexican Icrecream place!

-Went to watch ready player 1 at this discount movie theatre. Tickets were only 1.75 because it was Sunday!

Monday. 25 June 2018. 

-Spent all day at home. Did not pack at all. Went to pick up amber from work and we watched Jurassic world with Dane and Dani. The movie was hilariously dramatic and kinda bad. Went home and got stoned and packed for Zion before falling asleep. 

Tuesday. 26 June 2018. 

-Woke up at 5am to pick up dane and go to Zion!

-Drove to eastvale and got dane

-Stopped in Vegas and spent 2 hours there walking around M&M store and I gambled for the first time and it was sadly underwhelming and boring. 

-Drove to Zion and checked into hotel!! it was really cozy and nice.

-Had dinner at not good pizza place and bought groceries.

Wednesday. 27 June 2018. 

-Got up at 8 and had breakfast in the hotel where I tried and failed to make pancakes!

-Took a shuttle into the park and went to hiking trail that turned into a very large river. We hiked through the river for about 2 hours (?). Parents were too fast for us. 

-Met up with my parents and headed back to hotel. 

-Missed dinner with my parents because we all wanted to shower. Dane tried to seduce me and I just thought the entire thing was hilarious. 

-Went on drive through the canyon rock and then my dad found this random trail along the road that we decided to see. It led to a really gorgeous sight of the entire canyon.

-Climbed back down and headed to get food from grocery store. Everyone got microwave food. 

-Watched Stewart little while Amber worked on playlist. 

Thursday. 28 June 2018. 

-Got up late and missed breakfast with my parents. 

-Checked out of hotel and heded to bryce canyon. 

-dad wanted to do hike but all of us were exhausted so Amber, Dane and I explored the spots that the park shuttle would take us to while my parents went on a hike. We had lunch at ths lunge in the park and they had really good elk chili and bison burgers and it was the first actually good meal we had had since leaving LA. Food outside of California sucks. 

-Drove back home afterward. 

Friday. 29 June 2018. 

-Woke up with the urge to swim. Called dane and asked her if she wanted to go to the beach. She said she was going to bring Dani and her surf board. 

-Dane arrived at my house and we all went to the beach. Dane tried to teach me to surf but I was very confused and scared and we didn’t really get anywhere but I had a lot of fun just swimming around. 

-Drove back to Monterey Park to get dinner. Dani was very confused why all the restaurants didn’t have their own parking lots and why the restaurant fronts faced the main street. We only live 40 minutes apart but really come from different worlds. 

-Went over to Amber’s house to help her with her mix tapes. But she wasn’t finished organizing her 400 SONG PLAYLIST so we didn’t actually get anything done. I updated my computer and  sat on Amber’s couch and watched Alien with Dane. She said it made her heart feel like it was going to explode from fear. 

Saturday. 30 June 2018. 

-Woke up at 5:30am and looked at my laptop that was STILL updating. Tried to reset it and it threw a tantrum and started flashing question marks at me. Called Apple support and spent 2 hours on the phone with really friendly man trying to get my laptop to work. Realized it wouldn’t update with my shitty internet so decided to give it a break and try again when I got to work. 

-Got to work at 2 to find Amber working on her playlists. Clocked in and took over for her while she went to Cashiers. 

-Started the update for my laptop again and started working on figuring out how the fuck to get all of her songs onto a CD. Took me 3 hours but finally got it all working. Tried to download the first CD and test it on my break while I got Starbucks for Jose. CD did not work. So we tried it again. Also did not work. 

-My laptop FINALLY finished updating after 5 hours and Amber and I spent another hour trying to get a flashdrive and transfer all teh songs onto my itunes. FINALLY GOT CD #1 TO WORK AFTER 7 HOURS OF BULLSHIT. 

-Amber and I rushed to finish the others while she drew covers. We only got three done out of the TWELVE!!!! 

-Amber left at 7:30 and I spent the hour and 30 minutes left of my shift just breathing. 

-Got out of work and went to buy Dane fruit tart because she was hungry. 

-We all met at ambers house to hangout with Joe. We were supposed to go to a bar but Joe gave us a blunt and we went to the park to smoke and of course got TOO high to actually function. Dane was playing with Amber’s kitchen lighter and shouting “fire dick” to the entire world. I told her we should go for a walk and we headed to the IHOP down the street. Amber and Joe soon caught up and thats how we ended up at an IHOP at 1:30 in the morning stoned??? I started having flashbacks again like I have been lately when I’m high. 

Sunday. 1 July 2018. 

-Woke up with Dane next to me. 

-I think we watched a movie before I went to work?

-Went to work. It was uneventful. 

-Got out of work super sad and wanting to hangout with someone. Got sad over the fact that all my friends are now too far away. Went a bought a pizza and ate it by myself all emo like before going home.

Monday. 2 July 2018. 

-Amber was sad that Joe left for San Jose so I made plans to go and do something new to get her mind off of things. Decided to try and go to comedy club because it was free???

-Went to pick her up from work and then drove to hollywood. 

-Show was a BUNCH of different comedians trying to entertain an audience in like 8 minutes each? it was very difficult and many of the jokes did not land. There was one guy who was really great. He talked about how he had gone to the groceries at 2am and bought a frozen pizza, 4 boxes of jello. I wish I had gotten his name. 

-Amber and I left hungry and ended up at Cocary. 

Tuesday. 3 July 2018. 

-Woke up and went to work. 

-Amber texted me and asked if we could watch Princess Mononoke at my house. 

-Picked her up after work and bought snacks. 

-Went back to my house and laid blankets on the floor and watched Princess mononoke. Fell asleep in the living room. 

[sleepy-peachie]

Paris Day 3:  Pro-tip if you wanna see the catacombs book that like 3 months in advance and show up at like 9 am

This morning we woke up around 9 again and walked outside and found a flea market which was pretty cool since we couldn’t go to the one on Saturday.  There was nothing very cool there though but we didn’t linger long at any tables since the sales folks get pretty pushy if show any interest and it was mostly yardsale garbage.  We walked a little bit looking for a cafe for breakfast and the first place we looked at had coffee for 10 euro so we peaced out of there real fast and went across the street to le lithographie which actually looked pretty fancy but was a little more reasonable. I ended up getting a mint tea and croissant and ariel got a fruit salad and coffee.  This croissant was the best bread i’ve ever eaten i’ll never be able to eat the crescent rolls mom buys again and my tea came with a little kettle full of hot water and it was adorable. We got a seat outside again but under the awning so we could get the sun off of us since it was already getting pretty hot.  It was so nice to sip tea outside so early in the morning and just watch everyone around us.  Our waiter was really nice and spoke english and laughed when we still said “oui” instead of yes.  There was also an old woman getting her hair and makeup done at the table right next to us?? like she had a makeup artist/hairstylist putting her hair in a french twist with hairspray and everything and was taking up tables with the cosmetics all spread out.  It was odd but at the same time i strive to be that woman.  

We walked on to find the catacombs and walked past the montparnarsse cemetery and it was gorgeous.  We walked inside for a little bit just to see the little tombstone/house things.  All the graves were beautiful but we didn’t stay long since our feet were still sore from Saturday’s excursion so we walked on to the catacombs.  We could see two different spots where crowds were fro the catacombs so we walked to where there were signs and asked the man where we could buy tickets and at first he asked for our tickets an we said no where do we buy them and he said “the internet is closed” and we could buy them there so we walked away confused and listened for english from the people in line and asked a random family and tehy said you have to wait in line then buy tickets so were like oh okay cool and walk on to find the end of the line.  and then we turn a corner and are still looking for the end of the line and then we turn another corner still no end. until finally we end up at the original crowd we saw.   This line wrapped around a whole garden area and building.  We decided since it was somethign we were both really looking forward too we would wait we figured it would be 2 hours.  The line grew pretty fast behind us so at least we weren’t those people.  Then it had been an hour and we hadn’t turned the corner yet but we’d already invested one hour.  Then it had been 2 hours and we said okay were too invested to quit but maybe we should and by this point we were out of the shade and in the 90 degree sun and my feet were on fire.  Then it had been 2.5 hours and we started talking to the family in front of us and they said maybe another hour so we decided to keep waiting and we heard people behind us say it could take 6 hours some days and some parisians said the line was always this long and that it’s always just tourists.  We started talking to the people around us though and the guy in front of us was from Colorado and was getting ready to start college.  Him and his parents had rented a car and were driving around europe after a wedding for ~two weeks and were leaving for home the next day.  We also started talking to the group in front of them who were a bunch of study abroad students that had just happened to meet in a hostile that weekend. ONe girl was from the same town in Utah that Ariel’s family lives and it was crazy.  This town is so small and they didn’t recognize anybody either of them knew but it was still pretty cool.  There were two other students from Japan also just traveling. I kept on talking to the colorado guy and he was pretty cool.  His parents took it as an excuse to leave him holding the spot in line so they could get out of the sun.  we ended up being in line a total of 4 hours and the last 2 hours we spent talking to strangers and it was really cool and honestly made it worth it.  We all cheered when we finally got to the front of teh line and took selfies and ended up talking while walking through the catacombs too.  We got to the catacombs half hour after they opened at 10:30 and didn’t get in until after 2:30.  lesson learned there

The catacombs themselves were really cool and it felt soooooo nice to get out of the sun.  Some of the bones were growing moss from the lights and some were sparkly and its so strange to think all those skulls had faces and all those faces had lives and stories and names.  There were an estimated 2 million parisians in there moved from teh old cemeteries.  I ended up buying a patch from the giftshop and its probs my favorite souvenir so far. I wish my feet hadn’t hurt so bad or we’d have walked a little slower through the tunnels but honestly wanted to cry they hurt so bad. Also added that guy on fb and he talked to me for a couple days afterward over messenger.  He’s definitely enjoyable to talk to but it’s a bit strange since he’s only just graduated high school and lives in colorado so i dont know what the intentions were there but whatevs.

After the tunnels we started looking for bubble tea.  We wanted to try it the day before but we only saw it after we had just eaten so we didn’t want to buy any, but boy were we thirsty after standing in the sun for 4 hours again in 90 degree weather.  We walked awhile and ariel had a picture of a map pulled up so we were trying to find it, i couldn’t find it on the maps app so we were just hoping for the best.  We finally found it though and it was like a mirage.  The room was air conditioned to boot so we just died a little inside it was so nice. AND TEH TEA was so good, i got peach tea and the bobas were actually good.  I expected them to taste like chalk but it was actually like sweet jello and i loved them.  I liked it so much i ended up ordering a second one to drink while we walked, this time i got “jade” which had jasmine tea and kiwi, it wasn’t as good but i still enjoyed it.  Also this little Bubble T Paris had the best wifi we’ve experienced in all of France.  

At this point it was about 4 o’clock so we started looking for somewhere to eat supper, we figured creperies would be our only option and we knew there were some near our hotel so we walked that way and stopped at a small place on the street.  The guy serving us was really nice and he understood Ariel’s gluten allergy so we stayed, but the crepes were not great.  Kind of gross actually, i got chicken and cheese and it was a no go. We went back to our hotel after that and used the wifi and bathroom while we waited until ~6 to go to our trainstation.  

The trainstation was crazy as usual but we found the rolled ice cream stand miraculously and with ease.  We have very good luck with directions and finding things this whole trip and rolled ice cream is as good as it looks. I got apricot mint with pralines on top and 10/10 delicieux.  We found place to sit and were eating it when i felt eyes on me so i looked to my left and on the bench next to use 2 older men were clearly talking about me or us and i even made eyecontact and the older man who was closer to me maintained eye contact and continued nodding while listening to what the other man was presumably saying about me.  I was very uncomfortable and im imaging Taken scenarios.  Then they say excuse me, excusez moi and I answer and the younger guy asks where were from because they were discussing my accent and wondered if we were Englisha nd were surprised to hear we were American.  Then they asked why we were here and i was like “in Paris??’ like what kind of question is that.  I dont remember what i sadi but they asked if we liked it and i said yes and ended the conversation.  Then we left and waited on our train.  

They waited until the last minute to put the gate on the board but as soon as they did we fast walked for it since we were in car 16.  It was a forever walk but we got there we successfully found our train and could just relax for three hours.  This train ride felt much longer than when we were going to paris.  We could see the releif on sebastien’s face when we got out the train car though.  They gave us the morning off from the lab since they had meetings and we were exhausted, which was a huge blessing ‘cause i have never been so groggy in my life.  When we got back to the crous the wifi was out and it was around 11:30 so i went ahead and colled home to them i made it back safe, conveniently dad answered so i was able to wish him a happy fathers day and i told him all about paris for awhile.  i usually talk to mom so it was strange to talk to dad on the phone that long but it was nice.  When Pascal and sebastien  saw us the next day after lunch they were like “We couldn’t sleep all weekend! Were in charge of you!” I was so out of it though, i could hardly focus and i jsut felt so strange.  I had slept 11 hours and taken a benadryl to help get to sleep that night so that could be why or it actually was a result of walking 26 miles in one weekend and standing in the sun for 4 hours in addition to that.  My feet hurt until Wednesday.  

#thoughts #studyabroad #france #paris #catacombs

[sarahdraimanflowerpouch]

A Year in Review | 2016

This is one long blog post, but I promise it is filled with lots of pretty flower photographs!

1/9 Enjoying a beach moment in Santa Barbara – Florabundance Design Days is about to begin, always a great way to start a new year!

1/11 – At Florabundance Design Days designing an arrangement with David Austin Roses

1/11 – another arrangement that I designed while at Florabundance Design Days

1/29 – Visiting Angie of Posh Florals in Dallas, Texas

1/29 – Visting Avant Garden in Dallas, Texas

1/30 – Attending Create + Cultivate with my friend Alex of Exquisite Events (of Chicago)

2/21 – Go, Go Flower Power! Actually a snapshot from one of my floral design classes – Corsages & Boutonnieres

2/25 – have I mentioned my obsession with Hellebores?! Yes, I adore them! Here’s a selection of beauties from my own garden.

3/6 – All loaded up and ready to drive to Seattle – this is how my car looks on the morning of a design class!

3/6 – my friend Amanda of Alluring Blooms flew in from Wisconsin to attend my Hellebore Centerpiece class. (photo by Riz Reyes)

3/6 – one of the gorgeous arrangements that Amanda designed while visiting me

3/28 – The hellebores keep blooming! Another snapshot from my garden collection of this magnificent flower.

4/29 – The full crew who attended Florabundance Design Days – Holland Edition! Yes, the trip was SO amazing! We were blessed to experience so many wonderful flower sites with a super cool group of people!

4/24 – Fantastic display of Daffodils at Keukenhof in Holland

4/24 – Joost and Els at the Black Tulip Museum

4/25 – I find Aalsmeer flower auction in Holland to be absolutely mesmerizing, carts of flowers scooting off in all directions

4/25 – Spent the day in a greenhouse designing with Ariella, yes it was as special as it sounds!

4/26 – My friend Shawn of Flower Bar (Idaho) with an arrangement that she designed during our design session with Ariella

5/2 – Chad and I visited Schreiner’s Iris Gardens in Salem, Oregon as we drove south to California. We had great timing as all the Irises were in full bloom!

5/5 – Garden Valley Roses in Petaluma, California in full bloom.

5/8 – Rhododendron Show at Mendocino Botanical Gardens.

5/18 – I had the pleasure of presenting at the Tacoma Garden Club. I tried my hand at a parallel design.

5/23 – Ariella Chezar is in town to give a demonstration at Seattle Wholesale Growers Market. Prior to the workshop a small group of us went on tour of the flower farms in preparation for the workshop. Getting a photo of everyone was pretty much impossible as everyone moves in opposite directions! On tour were Steve Moore, Dawn of All My Thyme Roses, Molly of SWGM, Diane of Jello Mold, Ariella Chezar and myself. It sure was a fun day!

5/23 – Ariella Chezar with an arm load of roses from All My Thyme

5/23 – Diane was trying to make Dawn smell a rose and Dawn refused! The funny part is that it is Dawn’s Rose Farm! I was laughing so hard that I could barely take the photo!

5/23 – Steve getting a photo of one of the roses

5/23 – The beautiful spread of flowers at Seattle Wholesale Growers Market for the workshop with Ariella Chezar

5/23 – Ariella’s finished compote design

5/25 – After Ariella’s workshop I played around with the leftover flowers and came up with this design. Love the dancing columbines.

6/12 – Organized a photoshoot with Becca Jones Photography at Bella Luna Farms in Snohomish, Washington.

6/12 – the long table was set with an arrangement that rand down the center.

6/12 – The welcome table to the event.

6/12 – THIS bouquet was a dream come true. The Koko Lokos are from my cutting garden.

7/14 – Johann posing with all the dahlias at Seattle Wholesale Growers Market

7/16 – Chad & I visited Butchart Gardens in Victoria, Canada. *I highly recommend visiting here*

7/16 – Butchart Gardens is absolutely breathtaking.

7/18 – Farm tour day at Jello Mold farm organized by Seattle Wholesale Growers Market, I lead a floral design demonstration.

7/18 – Dennis making us all laugh!

7/18 – hanging out with Debra Prizing in the Cafe Au Lait Dahlia hoophouse

7/18 – my petite design from the demonstration

7/22 – Laura Dowling with Danielle at Seattle Wholesale Growers Market

7/25 – Laura Dowling and Georgianna Lane were working on a photoshoot. I can’t show what the design was, so I’ll show ya an undercover peek at them at work

7/25 – fantastic lunch with Dawn of All My Thyme, Debra Prinzing, myself, Laura Dowling, and Georgianna Lane

7/26 – my dahlia patch is in full bloom — it’s so beautiful and I spend most evenings here keeping the plants tidy.

7/27 – Amy of Gather came by to check out the dahlia patch

7/28 – all the varieties of dahlias that I’m growing, such a range in size!!

8/3 – Third annual Dahlia Wall at Seattle Wholesale Growers Market. Johann got his picture taken with it!

8/6 – Bridal bouquet for on of the sweet brides I worked with this season.

8/12 – Headed to Colorado! Working with Robyn of Bare Root Flora on the Field to Vase dinner in Boulder!

8/13 – Field to Vase Dinner in Boulder, Colorado

8/13 – The table that just keeps going and going! Robyn and I opted for an ombre look down the table.

8/16 – Treasure in the trunk! Headed to my Colorado workshop with all these beautiful roses from Alexandra Farms.

8/16 – the ladies who attended my workshop in Colorado

8/25 – total geek moment, one of my dahlias (peaches ‘n cream) was featured on Real Simple’s instagram feed!

9/1 – Amy of Gather and I experimented with making flower necklaces. It’s really rather fun to create them!

9/4 – my friend, Melanie, needed some extra hands for a large wedding setup. What got me was how unglamorous our glamours floral designer life can be some days! Step carefully in the alley…

9/10 – Arch and Chuppah Class at my home! Here’s three of the four designs we created.

9/10 – Katie flew up from Southern California for the Arch & Chuppah class. She enjoyed visiting the dahlia patch.

9/10 – Our autumn inspired floral chuppah from the flirty fleurs workshop.

9/11 – Fantastic display of Dahlia Barns’ dahlia varieties.

9/11 – My uncle and I went for a drive to North Bend, WA to visit the Dahlia Barn

9/13 – deadheading in the dahlia patch, the wild rabbits beg for some of the blooms

9/13 – The dahlias are blooming like crazy! I took my first load of dahlias to Seattle Wholesale Growers Market. After years of buying all flowers from markets, this was the first time I sold flowers TO the market!

9/14 – Taught a Floral Design Class at Ravenna Gardens in Seattle

9/19 – How cool is this?! Flirty Fleurs has its own flower collection with Longfield Gardens!! Shown here are some of my favorite tulips to design with!

10/13 – Visting Massachusetts – admiring all the mum plants for sale

10/17 – Visited Terrain in Westport, CT – this place is amazing! I highly recommend visiting here if you are ever in the area!!

10/18 – Attended a talk on “in the company of women” with a great group of girlfriends

10/20 – time to start digging up the dahlias and divide the tubers before storing for winter. Simply amazing how one tiny tuber turns into this cluster in the 6 months it is in the ground!

10/24 – Gordons Farm in Skagit Valley — getting in the fall spirit!

10/29 – one of my arrangements, almost all flowers from my garden. This arrangement was one of my most popular ones ever on instagram.

11/5 – Handful of Persimmons

11/8 – Chad and my dad harvesting more persimmons – they are so tasty and they look gorgeous in arrangements

11/9 – Harvest at my parents place in California – lemons, persimmons, and privet berries

11/11 – made this arrangement for my mom. autumn colors are her favorite.

12/8 – back home and trying to wrap my mind around it being December already!

12/18 – design time with Keita and Shannon, getting into the Christmas spirit.

12/24 – Looks like it’ll be a white Christmas in Washington.

via RSSMix.com Mix ID 8134970 http://ift.tt/2hVigLe

#IFTTT #RSSMix.com Mix ID 8134970