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sehnsuchts-trunken · 2 years

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i really love the way you write riven, u might be my fave writer for him 💖

can you write smth about reader being sky and riven's best friend (so also specialist) and riv is super soft around her so sky and others figure out that it's because riv really likes her? xx

ohymgod thank you so much <333 yes I absolutely can write this for you! it's a bit short but very sweet

"You look cold", Riven said, catching up with you. You turned your head and raised your eyebrows. For the past minutes, you had been rubbing your arms, trying to get some kind of warmth into your body.

"Wow", you snorted. "You noticed that? I can't believe it. You must be so observant."

He chuckled, shaking his head slightly as he embraced you, pulling your back flush against his torso, his arms trapping you, his hands already brushing along your arms. After the first seconds, your muscles clenching and tensing, you relaxed. God, he was warm. How the fuck was he so warm, outside, in fucking November? The clouds looked so heavy at this point that you wouldn't be surprised if it started snowing tomorrow. So yes. You were cold. And actually, this hug was nice.

"If I didn't know you were best friends, I would think you're dating", Bloom said as she walked by the two of you laughing and swaying a bit (yes, you may both have been specialists, but that certainly didn't mean you had any kind of balance whatsoever).

"I'm convinced they are", Musa muttered, loud enough for the three of you to hear. You just rolled your eyes. Riven said nothing either, only hiding his nose in the crook of your neck and breathing hot air onto your skin.

"They're my best mates", Sky sighed, also passing by. "But if you told me they were, I wouldn't be surprised."

"Come on", you laughed, resting your head against Riven's shoulder. "Our friends are dicks, better catch up or they'll get themselves in some royal mess that we'll have to clean up."

Riven chuckled, but let go of you, not protesting as you held onto his hand and dragged him forwards. You glanced back at him for only a moment, but that moment was enough to spot the unusually soft smile on his lips.

Don't think too much about it, you scolded yourself and turned back, jogging after Sky and the rest. He's your best friend. Nothing more.

#winx riven x reader #riven x reader #riven winx #fate riven #winx riven #winx #ftws #fate the winx saga #fate winx saga #fate series #x reader

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humanransome-note · 2 years

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Notable Interviews of Note (Me)

so michael's (the same michael's mentioned here) is having a job/event/thing on saturday... im thinking about going... but i also don't want to/hope i don't get the job... im still trying to grapple with the fact that i might never find work fulfilling, or at least not on the first go. It's a shoot off of my perfectionist streak born from being a "gifted child", something i've never completely dealt with...

anyway, here's what happened every time i got contacted by an employer.... AKA why I hate job hunting

Target

called me at like 11:30 at night on a wednesday asking if they could do a phone interview, I say no, because it is almost midnight. im in my jammies, all my paperwork and such is put away, im considering some me time... i am not in a professional head space. I tell them while I am not available now, im good tomorrow. they say sure we'll call you around noon. Great.

tomorrow happens, i give them until one... nothing. call them myself... nothing. wait around on the same timeline friday... nothing. call them again... nothing.

Hamilton/DEH merch (got this one, but it's inconsistent and then COVID happened, haven't worked with them since)

the woman took me saying "my mother used to have a hoarding problem, I'm cleaning." as me saying she had recently passed... which is a fair assumption, but she hadn't. The embarrassment the interviewer obviously felt when I made that clarification I feel, in part, is how I got that job.

Barnes & Noble

said it was part time book seller. get there and they tack on "also, maybe, more often then not, the starbucks cafe." now, this feels a bit illegal, and might be, but I was there, I wore my khakis and button up, i'd try at least.

get there, it's a group interview, im nervous, thus im sweating, and it's in the break room with other employees coming and going. one even obviously and flagrantly hyping one of the other applicants.

she got that job, and i had a nervous cry in the bathroom

Press N' Grind (overpriced Cafe, disappointing I know)

had the job for three days, boss fired me, without saying anything indicative of him actually firing me like "this isn't working out" or "we have to let you go" so i spend about ten days waiting for a schedule update, and when i finally go in to ask wtf is up, he clarifies, gives me like $275 and i have a good walk/cry in the rain.

Turns out he was also having some legal issues with an old business partner regarding royalties and IP, maybe that had smth to do with it. (my mom's a nosy bitch and so am I)

Michael's

Guy says he'll email me some things, and I'm thinking cool, I've got the job! get home, no email. next morning, no email. next evening, no email. I call everyday for a week, even go in three times, the guy who interviewed me is never there.

like a month later, i've cut my losses, my mother has stopped pestering me because all of my attempts have failed. she needs poster board for an office presentation and i'm a crafty bitch, so we go to michael's.

now, sm ppl have said that what I did was a bad move. i disagree but whatever.

out of the corner of my eye, guess who I see?

so from the far end of the isle, in my jammies, (freshly bleach stained due to a laundry accident) and a set of slides, I summon from the depth's of my chest:

"What's up,

Phillip?"

he stops, he stares, he blanches a bit.

"Been trying to reach you, never got that email you were supposed to send me."

he stumbles over some half said mostly implied excuse that summed up to "Im not the usual hiring manager, and when they came back they vetoed my decision."

"woulda been nice to know that a month ago."

"yeah..."

"yeah."

he gets called to the register and I swear he moved faster then he did before.

I have not gotten a call back from a job since.

#wurds

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performing-personhood · 3 months

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I'm coming to the realization that, after two and a half years of trying to get out, I'm going to have to go back to the service industry. I have so many attention problems and physical limitations that make me ill-suited for anything I'd theoretically be qualified for:

Adhd and dyscalculia mean I have trouble tracking quantity and the size of physical spaces/containers, so shipping and warehouse assembly lines are both right out bc I could never meet production quotas

adhd and autism mean i'm chronically disorganized and have time blindness, so office work and receptionist work is right out unless literally all I'm doing is reorganizing a filing cabinet and making copies all day every day. Anyway I have to Google anything I need Excel to do so I'm too uneducated to even pretend to be competent in Microsoft Office Suite.

IBD will make it impossible to work someplace like an Amazon fulfillment center because I need too many bathroom breaks (and that number literally triples when I'm stressed out, when i got my last job it was a good thing I was unsupervised and not busy a lot because I was topping eleven poops per day by lunchtime.)

Reynauds makes it impossible to work anywhere outdoors, so jobs like car detailing or even construction traffic flow direction is right out because I'll lose my fucking toes as soon as it dips below 55*f

I have only one arm with usable veins for plasma donation. The other arm was the victim of a trainee phlebotomist who punched clear through the vein and collapsed the entire thing. Having only one usable donation site means I can't even supplement our income by donating plasma, because i can't heal the puncture site fast enough to go twice per week.

I have used cannabis daily for years to manage my anxiety and depression without causing the digestion issues and next day dopamine deficiency alcohol causes. This means I can't piss clean, and thus can't get a job in government nor even do something as batshit as getting my CDL or smth.

The economy and social safety nets are in such shambles that we could never afford for me to go get my bachelors, and without a degree in America you simply don't exist.

I have literally zero other options.

I am having a really hard time accepting this. The only thing stopping me from crying about it multiple times per day is my as-yet-undiscovered-but-almost-certainly-trauma-driven complete and total inability to cry when I am sad (unless it totally sneaks up on me, which happens but is rare and I usually only get two or three tears out before the system reexerts control.) I'm sure that going back to the abusive relationship known as "working in the service industry" is definitely gonna be good for my healing journey. Super stoked to undo six years of progress this summer....

I actually have an appointment with my GP tomorrow to start on an anxiolytic in the desperate hope that it'll help me cope with this inevitability, because what I REALLY want (a frontal lobotomy) is "no longer considered a safe nor humane medical practice." [Dramatic eye roll]

It's great and all to be like "noooo stay people love you and want you here, you are valuable" but like, am i????? Because I've been delivered a pretty fucking clear message about what place I might find for myself in this world. And it's an untenable and irreconcilable problem to have the people want me but to have every possible social system actively shutting me out and indicating that statistically I don't exist, because what am I actually supposed to do now that I'm staying here because you told me I'm valued? If I'm so valuable, why isn't there a spot at the table for me. Stop lying to me.

#working while autistic #despair #despondent #depression posting

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minahoeshi · 3 years

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you were loved the most of all.

Ushijima Wakatoshi x reader | break-up angst

summary: You should've known that when Ushijima Wakatoshi found it easy to fall in love with you, it might be even easier for him to fall out of it. But who expects the worst when it comes to loving someone as seemingly perfect as him, anyway?

Chapter 1 of 2

Chapter 2 of 2

He said it was easy to fall in love with you. He said he didn’t know when exactly, at which place, nor for what reason. Simply one day, Ushijima Wakatoshi found himself looking at you with the epiphany that maybe there’s something more meant to happen between you and him. There you stood before him that day, the person he could promise love to. (And there he stood before you that moment, the boy whose promises you found yourself believing in no matter what.)

So maybe that’s why it was even easier for him to fall out of love. When he told you he was no longer in love with you, it didn’t matter to you to ask when exactly, at which place, or for what reason. Even the universe itself is meant to fizzle out one day along with the death of the stars. Just one more person drifting away from you like a lone planet with no real orbit shouldn’t leave you broken. You are used to this. You won’t fall apart.

But you break anyway.

It was snowing outside when he decided to tell you to end things now before it hurts both of you even further. Not that the snow has anything to do with the coldness creeping up your chest threatening to spill out of you in endless sobs. You were glad, though. That at the very least, he remained honest with his feelings. He never left you guessing. Every time, he never forgets to tell you what’s on his mind. His honesty is something he thought was necessary.

“I understand, don’t worry. Thank you for telling me right away. I know you’re also considering me–” you tell him and choke up. There are tears running down your face but you’re not worried about that. Wakatoshi never let you mask your emotions around him. For the longest time, he reminded you to feel free to be completely bare with him. All the good and the bad, he said. Don’t be afraid to show them to me. I will always understand.

He steps closer and puts you between his arms. You feel his chin on top of your head as you lean your face into his chest. You’re sobbing now. “I’ll be fine, Toshi. We’ll be fine.”

He kisses the top of your head and lets you stay in his arms for minutes. “I loved you then, and I love you still. It’s just that they’re no longer the same kind. I will stay if you ask me to, okay? Anything you want.”

This only makes you cry harder. He’s always been too good. And even in breaking your heart, he’s too good. You want him to hold on. You want to ask him to stay with you for years and years. Even with a different kind of love, you’ll let him be as long he’s close by. But someone like him who has dreams beyond yourself shouldn’t ever be with someone like you who still lacks certainty toward anything.

“Just for tonight,” you ask, still crying. “Can I stay?”

“of course,” he replies. Anytime you want. Anything you want. It has always been this way.

Because humans are creatures of routines and familiarity, you spend that night the way you usually do when you’re at his place. You cook dinner with him and eat on the dining table, sharing stories and laughter. You keep adding food to his plate and he smiles as you giggle at everything you find funny.

It’s okay, it’s okay. You’ll be okay. You’ll be fine.

You clean the kitchen and stay in the living room. He leans on the couch as you lay down with your head on his lap. You keep talking and laughing. He goes along, sometimes adding things to make you laugh even more, sometimes simply agreeing, sometimes asking questions. You keep it loud and light, afraid of the silence. Inside you, it’s so heavy, your heart might just fall off. This will be the last, you tell yourself. You want to be happy for now. While he’s still here.

"Do me a favor, okay?" You tell him as you're nearing slumber. "Let me leave first tomorrow. Maybe stay in bed, maybe pretend you're asleep. But tomorrow, don't get out of the room until I've left the house." Your voice shakes, feeling yourself wanting to sob.

"I don't want to wake up to another empty bed but I don't want to see your face when I wake up too," you curl into him even further. "I'm sorry for being selfish. I'm sorry I still don't really know what to do. And I know you wake up pretty early and you know, do stuff, but just for tomorrow, please?"

Wakatoshi didn't really understand why. He originally planned on cooking breakfast for you and taking you to the train station. He would watch you board the train and he'd make sure to smile at you as he waves. You always waved back. That's how it works. Even after fights, and even after especially bad nights, you'd still do the same. Watching you leave with a smile was how you both knew you'd still be fine the days after. That nothing much can affect your relationship. For years, this has been the routine.

But tomorrow, he knows he has to give way. He knows what he said hurt you. It would be wrong of him to do what he wants simply because he's used to.

Tomorrow's the last, he realises. And then if you want, he'd never see you again.

You wake up pretty early. The sky is a calm shade of blue, the world outside still waking up. You check the time on your phone and find it's 6 AM. Last night, you slept with your back on him. The sight before you is the other end of his bedroom and you notice just how much of yourself you've managed to leave around his place. Pieces of just one other person in his life, scattered in places around his world pretending that’s just where they belong. You didn't mind leaving things behind back then. You never really thought of the day that you might’ve to take back all of them. Just how does one pick up parts of themselves when they thought they’ve finally found a place for them to stay?

But as you stand up, you conclude that when things end, traces shouldn’t be left behind. He didn’t decide to break up only to be reminded of you even after you’re no longer close to him. So you go and pick every little thing that's yours. Even your jacket and sweaters and a few pairs pyjamas in his closet. You'll just take his things from your place too and hand it to Tendou's shop. Coming back here won’t do you any good. Him coming to your place instead wouldn’t either.

Collecting all your things, even the ones you can't use anymore, you leave the bedroom and enter the living room. You don't have many belongings here aside from some DVDs and books. You only take the books and leave the rest for him. You've always preferred reading anyway.

Setting your bag and things aside on the sofa, you go ahead and wash yourself in the bathroom and bring your toothbrush and some other products with you when you're done. You then head to the kitchen to cook him something light to eat for breakfast . You knew you didn't have to. He knows how to cook. It has always been him cooking breakfast for you. When you could, you’d rather stay in bed until the very moment you must start preparing to go to uni or work. But you did anyway. He's probably in his bed, awake. He has never been a heavy sleeper. With all the moving you did around his room, he was bound to wake up if he wasn't already.

You make him a simple omelette and write a small message on top of it with ketchup. "Good luck with practice today!"

You've already cleaned everything you used, preferring to wash and set utensils as soon as you're done with them. That way, when you're sitting down to eat, there won't be any cluster around to distract you.

You put the ketchup down and decide that should be enough. You'll stop here. You should go now.

Ushijima is sitting on his bed. He's been awake since 5 AM when he usually goes on his run. It isn't the first time he chose to stay with you instead of going out, but he can't help but feel heavy this time. He stayed in for you. But as the minutes pass by, it seems that he simply cannot find the courage to sit up and face you.

He wants to sink into his bed.

There's knock on the door followed by sentences uttered softly. "Toshi, I'm going now. There's breakfast on the table. Make sure to eat before you go."

There goes the heavy feeling again. Maybe if this keeps up, he might just actually sink and never get back up.

You've done that a few times. Leaving while he's still in the room. You don't even open the door. You simply knock and tell him you're about to go, always reminding him to eat before he goes too.

But this will be the last, he thinks. If you leave now, will he never see you again?

a/n

chapter 2 will be up soon not rly sure when tho. (it's up now the link is at the top)

also, im not entirely sure but i think i didnt use any pronouns or gendered nouns for this except "girl" in the 1st paragraph which i erased just now? if i'm right, then i hope everyone reading this get to feel as though theyre rly the person in the story. unless ofc u dont want that bc this isnt the happiest ushitoshi x reader fic u can find🥲. but thanks for reading!!!! m so sorry for typos nd other errors as well. i kinda cant read my own writings bc sometimes doing so makes me wanna smack myself in the head and never write again nd i hate that so now im leaving my mistakes to the gods nd hope they love me enough or smth. but yes thank u sm again for reading!!!!

#ushijima x reader #ushijima scenarios #ushijima angst #ushijima fanfic #ushijima reader insert #ushijima x y/n #ushijima wakatoshi

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chonideno · 5 years

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Hey, deep question, how do you deal with growing up, becoming an adult, handling ppl's expectations and all that kind of crap? Ive graduated last summer, start my 1st real job tomorrow, and i'm a weird mix of completely numb/in denial and freaking out/completely lost and anxious. Idk, maybe you have some magical answer or smth.. Love your work, thank you for sharing them with us

Hey, wow that’s a lot! First of all, congrats on the graduation and the job! And I know the feeling, been there, done that. I don’t know if what I have to say will be right for you, everyone deals with this a bit differently, but here goes:

Take a step back, get some perspective. I know it’s tempting to live the moment very intensely (especially with your first day coming up), but breathe in, take some distance.You’re young. You’re just starting. Whatever stress is coming your way is not going to be the end of you. Think of yourself in a year, think of your end-of-2019 self: they’ll be much different from who you are today, and you have to work through this growth. It might take a toll on you, a lot will happen in a year, but you’ll get there. You’re fine. You’re right where you need to be. it all seems big because you’re right at the start of the journey but it’s okay. None of it will be the end of the world.

Don’t try to be everything at once. I did this, all of my friends did this, and we all crashed and burned so let me save you the trouble. Maybe one day, if you want to, you’ll be that person who wakes up at 6 without an alarm, does meditation and morning yoga, spends thirty minutes learning a foreign language then goes to work for nine hours, then goes to the book club and then to the gym, then to the bar with friends, stays on top of all the art shows in town, takes care of three pets, meal preps, volunteers at the local orphanage, runs a semi-marathon every Sunday and is currently thinking about writing a book. Maybe you’ll be that person. But right now, don’t. Take it one step at a time. If you try everything at once you’ll give up in a week and never try again. I highly encourage you to try new hobbies and cultivate new habits, but do it gradually. All in due time. Let it grow on you. Maybe try to wake up early? You’ll know when you’ll be ready for the yoga. (Talking about yoga, if your job involves lots of sitting, please look into hip stretches they will save your lower back)

About expectations, honestly you have to shrug them off. Figure out what you want, and work on that. If you see yourself in 10 years as a real-estate owner with a spouse and two kids, then work on that. If you want something else, keep your focus on that. Expectations coming from friends and family are hard to deal with but if they don’t fit you, honestly tell them. Make it clear that’s not a mold you’ll fit and that’s that on that. It’s fine, once again. You’re where you need to be. Hopefully you have a good 80 years ahead of you, if you ever fit into one of these molds do you think you’ll stay in there forever anyway? There’s no permanent state of the self babey just do your thing

Don’t be too hard on yourself. Adulting is hard, and like the rest of us you’re going to learn on the job. You won’t be perfect in life, or at your new job from the first day. You’ll make mistakes. You’ll fuck up, because you have so much to balance - the bills, the chores, the social life, the hobbies, it’s all your responsibility now. Once again, breathe, take some distance: you’re fine. The mistakes you make won’t stop the earth from spinning. Figure it out, work through it, watch YouTube tutorials if applicable. One thing at a time. If you have a lot going on, pick one or two things and put the rest in a box until you’re ready to move on. I promise you’ll be doing fine.

For the love of fuck, take care of yourself. Remember to eat, keep your environment clean and healthy, and most importantly, sleep! A good sleeping schedule can save you, I promise you it’s primordial. Take care of your health and body, you’re stuck with those. If you’re like me and you forget to eat when you’re stressed out, go get yourself some multivitamins, they’ll save your butt.

Learn how to cook, learn how to sew basic things back together, keep all your important papers in folders, keep an eye on your finances, ask lots of questions on your first day. What you have a head of you is a lot. But you’ll be fine, I promise!! I was a shaking mess when I was in your shoes and now I’m a functioning adult. It doesn’t mean I have a white picket fence and my life is held together by delicate silk ribbons, it means I know how to roll with the punches now. I figure it out. I know my limits. I know what I want. You’ll get there, I promise. One thing at a time, it’s really the most important thing you need to keep in mind. Slow and steady.

Good luck on your first day!! I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow ♥

#adulthood is a lot!! welcome to the circus!!#no one knows what he fuck they're doing but the most important is to have fun #so go slow #ask for advice #and in doubt: what would morticia addams do?#anonymous #mag answers

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humanransome-note · 2 years

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Because of who I am as a person, it has taken me over a year to finally comprehend my college's registration process, of which I would have to call my guidance counselor to help me get through, thus often forcing me to skim through the left overs of online classes because my transportation situation is shoddy as all hell. although all the blame can't be put on me, when there are two separate and completely differently designed portals that allow me to register, one has more through information, and it is the one that most people don't use but the one i need.

this is a long winded way of saying I've been beat to registering for fall classes.

now this is the part where i cry a bit, then get back to trying to be productive.

Problem with that is, the most obvious option is to work. and while I appreciate my aunt, I really do, tbh I very often felt like an afterthought, and we haven't talked since june)

so normal jobs

would be more palatable if every job finding/interview experience i had didn't suck.

examples under the cut

Target:

tomorrow happens, i give them until one... nothing. call them myself... nothing. wait around on the same timeline friday... nothing. call them again... nothing.

Hamilton/DEH merch

Barnes & Noble

she got that job, and i had a nervous cry in the bathroom

Press N' Grind (overpriced Cafe, disappointing I know)

Turns out he was also having some legal issues with an old business partner regarding royalties and IP, maybe that had smth to do with it. (my mom's a nosy bitch and so am I)

Michael's

now, sm ppl have said that what I did was a bad move. i disagree but whatever.

out of the corner of my eye, guess who I see?

so from the far end of the isle, in my jammies, (freshly bleach stained due to a laundry accident) and a set of slides, I summon from the depth's of my chest:

"What's up,

Phillip?"

he stops, he stares, he blances a bit.

"Been trying to reach you, never got that email you were supposed to send me."

he stumbles over some half said mostly implied excuse that summed up to "Im not the usual hiring manager, and when they came back they veto'd my decision."

"woulda been nice to know that a month ago."

"yeah..."

"yeah."

he gets called to the register and I swear he moved faster then he did before.

I have not gotten to the interview portion of a job application since.

#wurds #can i just float. in like a river or something?#or make like a hermit in the woods?#job interview #idk how ppl get jobs. because nearly all of these experiences were miserable

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