#I try to balance my free time

[snakeoid]

i wish he looked more like a bat

#bg3 #astarion #sorry im dead i havent really balanced my time yet and when i do have the free time to draw it feels like ive forgotten how #im still trying to get used to being on my own the loneliness is kinda killing me rn

[raccoonnutella13]

why are ppl always so mean about taz :(

#every time theres a new arc everyone who only liked balance is like 'oh if u dropped off after balance u have to listen to THIS arc bc its #JUST LIKE BALANCE' #every damn time. #it happened with ethersea a bit but especially w steeplechase and vs dracula #and u get ppl in the notes of these posts saying 'oh yeah i fucking hated everything after balance sooo glad theyre finally doing exactly #what i want them to!!' #like. its ok to have personal preference but dont be mean about it :( #and comparing every campaign to balance is rlly annoying sry #let them be their own thing #stop being so blinded by nostalgia ig #like not to be rude but. i think ppl think balance is the most Perfect Thing Ever but its rlly...not #all the campaigns have flaws but i aint canceling them for that #like what happened with grad #idk its like if balance came later ppl would probably be much more mean about it #bc they wouldnt be blinded by nostalgia as much or smthn #anyways #at the end of the day the mcelroys shouldnt be expected to make a replica of balance every campaign #and thats not what theyre trying to do. theyre doing what THEY personally want to do. like they clearly dont care abt what others think lol #theyre experimenting and having fun #its like. a free podcast with a bunch of silly dudes playing for funsies. they shouldnt have such high expectations or be demonized #in any way #my point being. if i see anyone being mean abt taz u get blocked #>:( #coon speaks #not tagging taz. i dont wanna see nasty ppl in my notifs ty

[cutieclangen]

Tomorrow’s page may not be posted until late! I’m having a tough time deciding how to finish it. Unfortunately life got a lot more hectic for me and I don’t have nearly as much time to dedicate to this comic as I’d like. I’ll probably need to change up how I draw pages and include a lot less detail in order to still be able to do one moon a week.. so future pages might be a lot simpler for awhile at least.

#I admit I’m a bit frustrated trying to find a balance #between a comic style I’m super happy with and one that doesn’t eat up every second of my free time #I am so invested in my characters and this story #I want to share so many details about everything #but I just don’t have the time.. and I don’t want to stop this project completely #so pages will have to be simple until life clears up for me #sorry :(

[skitskatdacat63]

Lmfao my mom was getting on me abt not having enough to do this upcoming semester so I decided ah okay I'll add another class. And that's perfectly fine. But the one I picked results in the majority of my schedule being generally unaffected and still lax, but my Thursday being absolutely fucked.

For reference, on every other day I'd spend like less than four hours in class/commuting(anywhere from zero hours to almost four), but Thursday, its almost 9 hours combined 😭 which is like fine with me, but I think ill despise thursdays after this, AND MY BIRTHDAY IS ON A THURSDAY :(

#she doesnt like the fact that im practically free on Fridays #<- online class that doesnt meet on that day #so ah i hope this balances out sjkfkflg #the way scheduling in my school works has such a weird affect #my mon/wens/fri are gonna be so chill and then tues/thurs is just....something #it makes it worse bcs one of my classes only takes place for a section of the semester #and that class is mon/wens so im only gonna be online after that #though i still think ill have to meet w that professor bcs there is in fact reasoning for that class to be so short lasting #but tues and thurs is just stuff that ill never get any reprieve from lol #four classes in one day. we'll see how it goes 🥰🥰 #also thurs will be interesting bcs i will have two classes just abt middle eastern politics #i came across a class on the arab-israeli conflict and wanted to take it bcs its obv very relevant rn #and then the one i just scheduled is also abt middle eastern politics so i really am going to be thru the ringer #not that its a bad thing at all!! i just mean its interesting how relevant this semester will be and how im just getting intensely informed #anyways i think the way i schedule would be a nightmare to anyone else #i try to schedule every class after 12(or 11 at least) so then all of them are crammed right after one another #and i wake up an hour before class and leave myself that meager time to get ready and commute lmfao #my friend asked me when i eat lunch. and im like uh ;;; never? 🥰 #lol dw i do eat but like i treat my time on campus like how can i pack this as densely as possible #i dont like sitting around by my lonesome it makes me depressed dhfkkg #also i think i will actually kms with all the writing im goong to have to do this semester #that is my reasoning to my mom abt why she shouldn't be pissed at my supposed lack of activity #like im taking so much thats emphasized with writing. dont worry i will be in fact budy #*busy #catie.rambling.txt

[magalidragon]

Haiiiiii everyone! It’s me 😂 I feel like I have been gone forever and maybe I have. Life is weird and bananas. I’m trying to get back to fic more than I was before. Can’t promise I will be as productive as before but I’m working on it! Hope everyone has been well!

#I got a work promotion and with it I lost all my free time #but im trying to balance again lol #personal post

[birdy-bird27]

TFW you are questioning your future because how much you fucking hate school and the workload associated with it

#just university things 🤪 #the only reason why I’m sticking to full time schedule is becuase of scholarships #that way I don’t have I pay for school #but god I want to drop to part time student so fucking bad #vent #rant #I’m doing good at least 8 hrs of hw every day #oh yes also work on top of that #just fuck me I guess #this is such a poor me issue I’m sorry #like wow I’m forced to attend university full time so I get to do classes for free poor me #I am just having such a hard time balancing my work load #I don’t even like business why tf am I getting a bachelors in it #I know why it’s becuase im already now 3 years invested into it and I get to do it with no cost to me #do I really want to be stuck in some soul sucking corporate job rest of my life? #is this my career? #what the fuck am I doing with my life #I don’t know anymore #I’m jdut trying to make it day by day #try not be crushed by overwhelming sadness of our current reality I guess #AGHHHH

[averruncusho]

Some updates from me:

I’ve started drawing and singing more. I’ve also started going to therapy! I’m still unsure about my general life direction, but I’m sure I’m going to find it eventually :)

#Hello long-time mutuals! Thanks for listening to me yall! #I hope this counts as character growth #How are yall doing? Feel free to comment here and let me know #Also finding some new friends hehe #I’m trying my best to feel normal u_u #it’s really tiring constantly having Problems. but I have faith in myself. And that things will slowly all balance out #Maybe i’m the same depressed child that used to post here everyday #But i now have the autonomy and wisdom to choose to be happier :^)

[chwejongho-archive]

hey friends! so for the foreseeable future, i will be quitting giffing, and likely posting too other than what’s left in my queue. i’m going through a lot of troubles in my life, resulting in me having no time or energy to gif despite how much i enjoy it. i’m endlessly so grateful to the mutuals that have helped me learn new giffing skills and encouraged me so much! and of course, so many of you are very dear to me and have been incredible friends and moots :< and i’m super grateful to followers that have rbed my posts and interacted too ^^ thank you <33

i’ve given context + details for why below in case anyone is as nosy as me LMAO :>

(content warnings for below cut: medical transitioning, gender dysphoria, financial problems, chronic illnesses)

additionally i am saving every penny i can to go towards my medical transition, which means i’m focusing on selling any personal collections and such i have.

the waiting list in my region for nhs transitioning is 5+ years and realistically estimated to be around 7. i’ll probably have to wait that time regardless- but if there’s any way i can save money and go private in the future even for smaller things, i want to try. because 5+ years of dysphoria this severe is not something i can survive.

having said that my family and i are in a pretty dire financial situation due to the cost of living crisis, so most of any money i make selling my belongings i insist on giving to them. i still have to try though! i’m also battling with severe chronic illnesses which is so draining. on the bright side i'm doing my best to stay positive!

remember to support and love ur trans friends, family, and peers etc during these times because it is brutal for the whole community right now. this applies double for trans poc, transwomen, and disabled trans individuals (those things often overlap, and intersectionality is crucial!!)

#i am sad 2 make this decision but tht is just life </3 #also cracked/free versions of ps don't work on my laptop ever so i was paying for photoshop and just cannot justify it for giffing alone gr #it is £9.99 a month i desperately need for other stuff FHKSDF #and i am trying to be on social media less because while i make a point of staying updated on trans issues and discussions #seeing awful headlines constantly is extremely bad for my mental health and makes me feel hopeless so i am finding a balance between #being there for my community and connecting (especially on reddit) and having time alone to process things and not let it crush my spirit #anyways tht is all <333 love u all sm #kaztalks

[mukamibabe]

Hi!

Maybe a scenario on Karlheinz and Richter getting addicted to their s/o's blood? Like they had her blood once and ever since became addicted to it.

ok... because i'm not sure if you meant karl and richter separately or not so.. i present you with all three options: karlheinz, separate, richter, separate and then both! karlheinz and richter being addicted to their s/o's blood. i.. just got another thought of them ,, 'accidentally' getting addicted to eachother's s/o's blood's(?). ? i dont feel like im phrasing it right. and if that was terrible grammar? i don't have an excuse other than - sometimes i'm dumb sdhfksdf anyways. i may post that last idea in another post, kinda depends if anyone wants it/?? but for now!!:

also. it killed me to actually write short scenarios for once lmao also if the cuts bother anyone just let me know?? im not new to tumblr etiquette but its been a while jdskfhsd if anyone has issues with it please tell me bc i have no idea

karlheinz + richter sakamaki getting heavily addicted to their s/o's blood. (both separate and also. not lol)

umm, for content warnings i guess, there's really not much to any of this but is more like.. a mental dive into like.. their sanity during this ?? ahfdss i almost want to say it gets yandere-ish, but honestly i'm not sure. dialovers has really confused me with such lmao

if this isn't to your liking/what you preferred, i'll rewrite to your liking!! still not sure if i'm making sense but its 4 am. yea i know i write everything at 3-4 am buuut.. everything still comes out ok right??? DSjfhdsf idk i feel like it also came out more of like. a poem or something. hfhghd just let me know ok?? thank you for the requests as always <3

edit: this might seem a little sloppy ? maybe? hopefully not ??? i ended up writing this a while back and coming back to something after a while .. is tricky. i still really hope this is okay!! i need to get content out hjgfdsf busy times ;;

karlheinz

He wasn't sure how it happened. He could recall when, however. As cheesy as it may be, Karlheinz' first taste of them was, for some reason, one of the things he'd craved the most since a long time. After he had gotten just a taste of their blood for the first time, it almost drove him mad with how much he wanted more. Not only because controlling that itch is difficult (though not exactly a struggle for a more powerful vampire such as himself), but also because he couldn't put a finger on why. Why did their blood taste like nobody else's he's had? It was almost annoying with how Karlheinz' thoughts were busy running constantly, the taste stuck in his mouth yet, there was none of it.

It was dangerous. For both of them.

If the king started to lose himself even more, which he already was, for some reason he couldn't piece together, which then added yet another thing to his mental, and physical torment. Something in him snapped that very first bite, and ever since, the man has felt himself lose his grip on both himself as well as reality. Even if he had indulged, the more frequently he did so, the more likely death was to approach his beloved.

And for whatever reason, even daring to think about living without them was painful. He felt as if he should keep them isolated, protected from his desires that only got greedier day by day. Was it fear? Karlheinz did not believe so, but what he did believe was that this had to end. Before he truly went mad. Before they die. In which Karlheinz would tear them apart, savoring their delectable, deadly blood for the last time. Perhaps it'd be better that way. If they no longer existed in the world, it would make things so much easier for Karlheinz.

This likely wasn't love, Karlheinz knew so already. But did it matter? As long as he could keep them to himself, with no one to interrupt.. Perhaps it wouldn't be so bad. For it to just be the two of them, his sweet little thing that makes the man want to succumb constantly. 

To be rid of them was definitely the best option, if both Karlheinz and his precious prey held any value for their life. This sudden downslide of his sanity was a first, and every possible way he could think of for handling it did not please him. If Karlheinz kept them, they’d be completely drained after a point of time. If he disposed of them, there’d be an emptiness to Karl that couldn’t be filled. Letting them live but keeping a distance from Karl would not work, either. The thought of anyone else drinking their blood was almost... painful.

There was another option, however, if such thing was possible. 

To turn them. To stake his claim over them forever.

There were to many options. None of which he wanted to pursue, really. He wasn’t sure about any of it. He wasn’t sure how they managed to beguile him in such a way.

What he did know was that this obsession he had over them- the way they had him completely spellbound, somehow- was frustrating. And, it was definitely not going to last for long.

richter

In the perspective of this brooding vampire, love at first sight was nonexistent. The way he treated his prey almost said otherwise, though it certainly wasn’t love. Nor did it have anything to do with sight; rather, it was taste. He had always been an obsessive man, an obsessive lover. It was almost inevitable for everyone he managed to get close with. The number of such is low, for sure, especially for being someone his age, but regardless, this has happened before.

Unlike his awful brother, Richter could expect this. He foresaw it the moment he even considered drinking their blood. It wouldn’t be the first time, and, if they are able to survive his obsession, which was already pretty intense, then hopefully it’d be the last. It also wouldn’t the first time he’s said such a thing.

To his own dismay, he knows this should end. He’s not concerned for himself, but his beloved, rather. As odd as it may seem, the man has loved before. His view of love may be just as strange as the rest of his family, but did it matter? His love also just so happened to be one of the reasons he was thriving, both figuratively and literally. Blood was a powerful thing, and after so many years, Richter could admire it, at least slightly. At the very least, he was thankful. 

However, in this case? Their blood was purely his. He knew this, yet, he worships it. He worships them, for being his, for being such a bewitching creature. Maybe it wasn’t just them, perhaps it was just his nature to dive deep into any sort of attraction he develops. Maybe it was something else completely. 

He knew what he had to do. It would be merciful. The ‘humane’ thing to do. 

As if he had morals. 

His love was not safe near him, and truthfully, it was a genuine concern whether or not they’d survive Richter’s never-ending hunger for everything they had to offer him. Blood, body, soul. But, he wasn’t strong enough to do so. They were his weakness. 

And he planned to keep them for as long as possible.

+ bonus karlheinz & richter 

Again. 

Of course.

Fate was not kind to Richter, and he was aware of this. Yet, it seemed the world was not content with allowing him to not compete for love. 

If this was even a matter of ‘love’. It was definitely arguable- he enjoyed their company, sure, but whether their company beat their blood taste? There was a clear winner, for now, anyways.

Yet again, the younger Sakamaki must fight for what he desires. Because, naturally, his elder sibling yet again had no need to fight for anything. It was them. The one Richter had grown ..attached to, putting it lightly. And what does Karlheinz do? Swoop in and try to seduce them into his own arms?

It was horrid. But, unsurprisingly, not the first, and definitely wouldn’t be the last. It seemed to be the way the world worked- Obviously fate favored Karlheinz over Richter. Surely.

Karlheinz did not believe so. Was there an issue with seeking out what you desire? Karlheinz knew what good blood tasted like, had sampling plenty throughout his life. He just had an eye for it, you could say. Apparently, this was something he had in common with his brother- the dark haired man had a knack for picking out good prey, something Karlheinz couldn’t deny. So, why wouldn’t he try to get a taste? 

In Karl’s eyes, if they truly were a good little pet, they wouldn’t need to even think of any options. Why refuse him? He could show them a world so much better than any way his brother might have already.

Unfortunately, as lovely as it may be, at least for Karl, the two brothers can’t fight forever. Eventually, one of them will give up, despite both of them sharing yet another similar characteristic- determination. Ambition. Stubbornness, even. 

It’d be a constant tug-of-war over the prey, and at some point, their toy might lose themself before they choose one brother over another. Neither Sakamaki will allow for it. They belonged to them. Not both, exactly, but with the rate in which things were happening, neither were going to give up any time soon.

Perhaps all three would just have to get used to endless sharing.

#HGdfshgf more about putting things under read mores: i know it's good to do so where like. . there's like. mature/triggering content #and also longer content. i just have no idea what's *too* long and what's not lol #i mean? i dont think anyone's annoyed by it and i'm 100% overthinking but shhh let me #but also dont lol thanks #its terrible and awful!! and a waste of my time!!! #cindy said :) tantrum time #no honestly not really jsdfhsdf im just tired and abusing the tagging feature. and using it as my diary lmao #also.. ive been fixated on other things. dl is still here i promise #its actually providing me lots of inspo so thats fun #honestly i'm just trying to figure out how to balance my free time more #life requires lots of work and im just ! living Jsfdjdf i want to keep myself occupied with other activities that im fixated over #first one being : genshin #the other one is a secret but its super dark. like very. anyways #yeah that's where ive been #then?? then i just fell into naruto again somehow lmao #it always happens to me :'(((( #FJDHFJDSFH #right now the fixation is on sasuke. for some reason. umm #KHFdsfs #honestly idk if i like this but i just needed to post something #or else i'd get eaten up by guilt #i hope this is okay ;;;; #Diabolik Lovers #yandere diabolik lovers #like i said i feel like i went with a completely different style with this one ..?? i dont think i love it but.. whatever #karlheinz #karlheinz sakamaki #karlheinz sakamaki x reader #richter sakamaki #richter sakamaki x reader

[obeymeow]

being neurodivergent is all fun and games until you remember those hourly quote bots on twitter and think well maybe I can't make a bot anymore but I could schedule a few quotes a day, that shouldn't be hard. it sounds fun to have a bunch of quotes of my favorite character Thirteen from hit mobile game Obey Me! and its sequel Obey Me! Nightbringer. and then you think about how arduous collecting the quotes is going to be but she's only been in the games for maybe a year and a half with little screentime and you love collecting things so you start but then you remember that you love collecting things so naturally you have ALL of her screentime in the game and suddenly you have 45k characters of quotes and are several lessons into season 4 (which is truly a trial in and of itself) but not nearly close enough to the end but you refuse to just stop collecting the quotes and make the account with the EXCESS of what you have already because you literally only have season 4 to get through and if you don't do it just seeing the bot (because now you've been informed you can make tumblr bots instead) will haunt you with that knowledge even if nobody else would ever know. this is a general anecdote of a situation that could easily happen to anyone though and not in any way related to my life

#obey me on side #ummm i don't have a personal tag yet because i hated looking at this blog before the revamp so i'll do that later #with the carrd. usually when i say i'll do something later it means sometime in the next 3 years but i actually mean this one #but rn there's no way to tell i'm a lesbian (except for the thirteen icon. + probably also the ruri-chan banner she's lesbian colors) #okay maybe you can tell but I want to be CLEAR #anyway i would also like to note that immediately before starting this project i spent a full week lamenting my lack of free time #because I wanted to write some fics. and then literally as soon as i got free time I went um. no. quote doc instead I think #????? girl why did you do that to yourself #fortunately i'm now bored of reading s4 so i can go back to writing #unrelated but all of these fics contain a significant amount of solomon and i like him that's not surprising but it was unintentional #which IS surprising. like okay one of them is about solodeus (specifically mc playing matchmaker so i don't clickbait) so that's obligatory #and another is based off of the new solomon card (IT'S CUTE) so that's also kind of obligatory #(the third one is based off of luke's card from the dnd nightmare a while back because i was entranced by its strange unbalanced party) #but usually i try to switch up the characters i write about to get comfy with all of them and not just the ones that make sense to me #that's not entirely accurate it's my one braincell bouncing around like a windows screensaver picking a new fave every time it hits a side #but also to get used to writing them all. anyway #i'll just write about satan to balance it he's always been a fav but i am obsessed with him in nightbringer he is so offputting and tragic #if you're still reading these tags please see above on th 'later is up to three years' in regards to the fics still haven't posted anything #hoping to change that soon though I WILL eventually.

[hungharrington]

how are you doing bb ? 😙

i’m doing alright nonnie! i was outta the country for a week and then got horrendously sick the moment i got back home & was supposed to be applying for jobs but was too sick to do so but hey, things are calming down in jay’s world finally! i’m healing up :)

how the heck are all you!? i haven’t neglected u too much have i……

#i’m trying to balance all my hobbies and not ignore all of them in favor for one #it’s not really working lol #i have free time and it’s WRITING time #jay answers #anon

[syntheticlifeform]

today has not been good. externally everything is fine but there's something wrong with me and while i think i can accurately diagnose it i am having significant trouble returning to normal functioning

#it's amazing how quickly the balance can be unsettled #i've spent all day trying to bring myself back to my baseline #my processing is down and it is having knock on effects on everything #i missed a social event because of it and i have spent all my free time doing nothing #androidkin #kin #android #techkin #aikin #robot #synth kin #synthetic person #log

[fatuifucker]

School just makes the writing more complicated and difficult than it needs to be dw

ALSO YOUR WRITING IS AMAZING DONT WORRY IVY <33

kdhsjssj I get that but it makes me kinda insecure because I'm not good at anything else you know? 😭 but at the same time I absolutely disagree with most if not all of what they taught me. the wording was incredibly confusing too and I doubt it's because it's a college module because I've seen better video essays about writing that use more understandable wording! ksshsjwj I won't let it bother me for too long, creative-related courses usually are biased and aren't great at acknowledging different forms of art

#this is kinda unrelated to this but i saw some teens complain that fanfics are for teens and adults shouldn't write them #which i highly disagree because what gave me motivation to write was that scarabedo fic which was written by an adult #and other talented writers in university #like i didn't have a goal until i saw their writing and i wanted my writing ability to reach that too #so i aspire to get a masters in english #it's a shame that some kids try to fake fun of adults who make this type of art #because you can really learn a lot from them #they put so much effort into works that anybody can read for free while balancing work and/or school #like they put A LOT of effort #the foreshadowing and storytelling and when they ask people to beta read their fics for them #they put so much effort into every aspect of a fic and they're doing it for free #and yet kids laugh at them just because they are adults :/ #it's really sad #sorry for that rant i was just thinking about it the whole day and wanted to say something since i love writing so much #there are a lot of times...where i get annoyed at people my own age :/ #ivyanswers

[neverendingford]

.

#you KNOW I don't have the guts to post the smut chapter. #I'm gonna eat something #then go buy some stuff. #then eat some more #then buy a nice bottle of something that mixes well with cranbery juice #and then lose my balance and then post the chapter later today #plus gonna try and play a world diplo aoe game and see how that goes. #this is what I get for being scheduled three free days in a row #anyway being alone is so nice I can do whatever the fuck I walnt #update: I played a team game versus ai instead and kind of carried our team #turns out. knowing your strategy going into the game and it being a good strategy works wonders #mangudai are such a good fucking unit. only weakness is needs castles but once you've got a few up you're golden #I usually mix in light cav as meat shield because my teammates don't make paladin #but this time I had two teammates going stable units so I just went full mangudai and hard carried. #had twice the kills of my next highest teammate and triple the building razes

[bratkook]

heyyy when are we getting 2.5!jk debut on hereee? :)

idk! haha im not on here as often as i used to be and in between working 13 hour days and trying to socialize with friends its hard for me to find time to sit down and finish it 😭 im about 2/3 done with it tho so hopefully soonishh??

#bratkook.exe #ty for ur patience i know im lagging 🫠 #i had too much free time in 2020-21 since i wasnt working but now im just trying to balance my life out lol

[toxicart]

2022-06-29 // timed figure drawing 

I really like how it looks after resizing and putting the drawings all together on one canvas like this, even if it’s a mess. Gives me something to show in between doing other things. Plus maybe seeing my jank figure drawings might help others?

#;; my studies #lots more perspective/foreshortening in this one #if you're wondering where i get my references. new masters academy on youtube has free life drawing sessions already timed. #personally i prefer the shorter timed poses. even when doing figure drawing irl. #as well personally i dont use an eraser when doing it digitally because i want it to be similar to using charcoal traditionally #work on top of what i already put down and build on it #my way is super scribbly. trying to find a balance between my messy gestural and the block method. #but you do whatever is best for you #in uni i had two profs who each had their own method they showed us. so there's no right or wrong way to do it. not really.