#I've learned to work around such things on days my mobility is limited but thank you for your concern | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

Visit Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Fun Fact

Tumblr is used by 21% of adults online aged 18-29 years.

#I've learned to work around such things on days my mobility is limited but thank you for your concern

divineprank · 5 months

Text

OKAY. NOW THAT I GOT MY SANCTIMONIOUS FINGER-WAGGING OUT OF THE WAY....

...Kinda!

I had to take a break, and sure enough, the day I WANTED to come back, the computer I use to write with fucking fried. So a friend and I tried our best to troubleshoot it. We thought the problem was the power supply unit failing, but uh, nope! Turns out my entire motherboard just went kablooey! This is perfect timing, as I just bought a fucking car and I lost the job I had. I built the fried computer seven years ago and today, I learned that the motherboard's chipset is no longer being manufactured. So that means I have two options: either start building a new PC altogether or take a gamble on a used, but compatible motherboard.

If I don't have a computer then how am I back? Am I RPing using Tumblr mobile? GOD NO. I hate navigating that app, trying to get it to do anything other than lag, destroy the aspect ratio of your icons, and demolish the formatting of your posts is just like pulling teeth...Except it's worse than pulling teeth because at least at the dentist, you can opt to get high on nitrous oxide when getting that kind of work done. PLUS UH, I don't technically have a phone. I busted mine a while back and am currently borrowing my mom's. Just another thing to spend money I don't have on. 8')

I am currently using a hand-me-down laptop that I obtained as a gift for building a new desktop computer for my dad early this year. The thing is around... 15 years old a this point, and despite how hard I tried to fix this thing, it freezes regularly, overheats and the fans constantly and the CPU just CHUGS. So far I've been able to get by doing very simple work on it and that's going to be the case for the time being.

SO...

Thanks to the limitations I am currently facing, I will be unable to use icons in my RP threads for the time being. They're saved onto the fried desktop computer and I have no way of accessing them currently. It's not a huge loss because I'm not thrilled with my icons but I know some people like to use them, so I apologize for the lack of etiquette there, haha.

Since this laptop suffers like hell doing anything even slightly taxing, I will not be picking up old RPs right now. Most of them are multiple reblogs in and are novel-length, which is typically how I prefer to write. I just know that if i try to open those threads in my drafts and make any changes to them, the browser will freeze and crash. So for the time being, I will just start new, smaller threads rather than try to work on anything I have saved currently.

I AM NOT DROPPING OUR THREADS. I VERY MUCH INTEND TO CONTINUE THEM AND RESPOND TO OUR RPS WHEN I AM ABLE TO GET MY HANDS ON A DEVICE THAT WON'T CRASH WHEN WRITING LARGER POSTS!!!

So, just to reiterate: I will be keeping everything saved and I will NOT be working on any our old RP threads due to the limitations of the 15 year old laptop that I'm currently running. For the time being, I WILL ONLY be writing and participating in new, small RPs. Thank you so much for your understanding. If you have any questions, feel free to send 'em my way!.. And as always, Gan's askbox is open! <3

#out of time. :: [out of character]#the legend of zelda rp #legend of zelda rp #zelda rp #loz rp #tloz rp #Ganondorf rp

11 notes · View notes

ilikemymendarkandfictional · 2 years

Text

Longish personal post ahead. Mixed in with some thank yous. Sorry if this crowds anyone's dash, I can't get a cut to work correctly on this post.

I am very much one of those people that bottles things up and plays the "I'm alright. Nothing is going on." Card when talking to people. I try to be the strong one, be there for people when they need someone. It's something I'm good at and I have no problem doing.

I got some news today that is really dragging me down, even though I'm still putting up that strong front. My grandfather has been not doing well healthwise for a little less than the past decade. Dialysis, limited mobility, dementia, strokes, Parkinsons. You name it. Over the years, I've learned to ignore it and I have been emotionally prepared to lose him any day for a number of years. Now that day is rapidly approaching, and I'm not sure how to deal with it.

I always put up the strong front each time he goes in the hospital, because that's what my grandmother needs. I have to hold down the fort so she can deal with him. I know if I start to cry, it will be hard to stop, so I'm really trying not to.

I mainly wanted to make this post as a heads up and a thank you in one. I'm not going anywhere and will still be around. This is my happy place that helps me forget the real life crap. I just may not be my usual enthusiastic self.

I want to say thank you to those who have made my life more tolerable and give me a reason to smile. Whether directly or indirectly. Art and writing have always been something that makes me smile and helps keep me distracted. @imrowanartist @sanagii you both produce such lovely art, both for my commissions and otherwise. You are also both very lovely people. @lorjukka @zoeykallus @book-of-baba-fett I'm more recently acquainted with your work, but I have loved it and it brings me such joy. You've also been lovely when we've interacted. I know they likely won't see this, but to the muns of Meme Force 99, thank you for having your blogs. Everyday they bring a smile to my face.

Lastly I'd like to thank @monako-jinn-stories and @photogirl894 for being my friends. I love to talking to both of you and your writing has been a source of comfort for me as well. I appreciate and love you both immensely 💜

I'm chugging along, it's just difficult right now.

#personal

15 notes · View notes

starfleetimagines · 2 years

Note

Hi! Could I get ships for DS9 and VOY? :)

I'm a bi enby, attracted to all genders. I'm a programmer, but if I could, I'd prefer to spend my time being a "storyteller" - whether that's writing, drawing, acting, making video games, whatever, there's loads of stories to tell and loads of ways to tell a story, after all. I do write and draw as a hobby, and I used to do horseback riding and swordfish as hobbies, and plan on getting back into those soon.

I'm very timid around people I don't know well and I really don't enjoy stuff like discos or partying at bars, but I've been told that when I'm comfortable with someone, I can be a lot of fun to be around; I'm also very loyal to and kinda protective of my friends, so the easiest way to make me angry is to insult or harm them.

I love listening to people talk about their interests. Even if it's a topic I have no knowledge about, if the person I'm talking to is passionate about it, listening is a lot of fun to me. I'm an optimist, but I had to train myself to be one, so I often have to remind myself to be optimistic. I like to claim I run on three things: Curiosity (There's just so many interesting things in this world!), Compassion (I care about people, even if I'm bad at showing it, and want to help them if K can), and... Spite (Usually in the direction of "Oh, the world wants me to be hard and uncaring? Well, I'll be even softer then!", though sometimes also as a general desire to prove the opposite if someone doubts me - despite me having a rather low self-esteem most of the time).

I grew up with pets (dogs and cats, mostly), and miss them a lot after moving out. I also enjoy learning new languages, though I'm bad at focusing on one (I have 7 languages active on Duolingo, one for each day of the week); the latter is a problem in general, because there's a lot of things I'd like to try out or do more (sewing, crochet, learning ocarina, reading - I have dozens of unread books -, video games, knitting, ...), but days sadly have a limited amount of hours, so with my tendency to get distracted, it's hard to really pick up a hobby and do it regularly instead of just trying it a few times/doing it rarely (or even just daydream about maybe someday starting it).

I hope that wasn't too long, and thanks in advance!

DS9 ship:

Romantic partner: Jadzia Dax

Best friend: Miles O'Brien

You'd work in engineering, working under Miles. You two would become fast friends; he'd admire your intelligence, your ambition, and eagerness to learn. He and Julian would set you up with Jadzia lol. They'd think you two are perfect for each other: both so curious about the world, both with many hobbies and interests, both optimistic and cheery, both protective over those you love. They'd be right: you and Jadzia would just... hit it off instantly. Your relationship would develop quickly, so quickly that others would tease you when the wedding is after only a few months of dating.

Voyager ship:

Romantic partner: The Doctor (Or, as I like to call him, Doc)

Best friend: Tom Paris

You and Doc would bond over your shared love of learning. You'd just... babble on and on for hours if time permits, talking about anything and everything, to the point where no one else could get a word in edgewise. You'd help each other learn and practice new skills, going to the holodeck for programs like horseback riding, golf, etc. Tom would see your relationship unfold as he works in sickbay as a part-time nurse, and oh man would he tease you two. Some days, when the teasing got too much, or when you just weren't in the mood, you'd snap and come to Doc's defense and vice versa (something like "you seem to have a lot of opinions about romance for someone who's single"). It would all be in good fun, though, and you and Doc would be very happy together (especially when he gets his mobile emitter and you can go around the ship together).

#ships #star trek ships #star trek ds9 #star trek voyager #star trek

2 notes · View notes

storiesofraen · 2 years

Text

Upcoming news! (August 2022)

Alright.

If you're reading this then you are curious about what weird ideas i got this time. You really just hit the jackpot here.

Here comes a new challenger!

Tonight I've felt like spicing up my next month. You see, since August will be a really boring month for me (as in I will work pretty much a lot during summer) I thought about giving myself a challenge for the next month.

That is... coding in C for the next 30 days.

But why?

I'll tell you exactly why. I really want to learn how to code and I get a lot of hints suggesting C as a really good starting point as well as being a requested coding language. The only way I know to kinda take a dive into a world is to completely submerge myself into it, no questions asked.

Even then, I have my own answers. Though, I won't be an expert at coding in just 30 days, I will say that I think I'll at least get a good grasp of what I'm studying.

New blog UI is live!

Now, I'm pretty sure you came here from Instagram, where I put my link to here. In this case, vi ringrazio signore e signori.

While I was working on the blog, I figured how to change how my website looks because I didn't really like how I felt visiting my own blog. So, to keep things clean I decided to pick a theme from Tumblr and put it. And while I was at it, I also changed the blog header on mobile.

I really am happy of what I did!

I will make use of the other blogs as well

As I mention on my brief description, I also have other blogs. These are the names if you're interested:

@animeditrash is my editing/drawing account. I might actually change name but I also like it so I might as well not.

@lilraen-computer-stories is a WIP blog on which I will blog about my IT adventures and self-study. As I mentioned on my very first post (title's Hello everyone!), I will study computer science and coding on my own.

@lilraen-multifandom is my multifandom page and I will be posting everything but not limited to: anime and manga, videogames and TV shows. The main topics will be Devil May Cry, Yakuza, Naruto, Berserk and maybe other things I don't even remember. But just know this: I will certainly post things I like on that one.

Conclusions

As always, I just feel like you don't have to read everything as I want you to be able to enjoy my content. Thank you for stopping by and see ya around!

#blog update

0 notes

breelandwalker · 2 years

Note

Hi, I've been into witchcraft since I can remember and a few years ago I started practicing but stopped soon after, thinking I might not have "the gift". I struggle with depression, anxiety, most probably adhd and intrusive thoughts. Whenever I tried to make even the simplest and positive spells, I ended up with the opposite result, thus my belief of not having powers etc. Have you ever encountered a similar situation? Could my issues influence the craft? Thank you!

Oh. Oh sweetheart. Honey, you come and sit by me, you need to hear a few things.

I don't know who's been feeding you this idea that you need grandiose powers or some innate "gift" in order to be a proper witch and do magic, but it's simply not true. You're a witch from the moment you pick up the craft until the day you decide to leave it, and no one can make that decision for you.

And trust me when I say that no one's spells go right a hundred percent of the time. Every witch has had spells that go wonky or backfire or just plain fizzle out and don't work. Any witch who says their spells always work exactly the way they want and expect is a liar, plain and simple. We all fail and that's okay, because we learn from our failures and become stronger for it.

Witchcraft is a craft and a practice, and it does take time to gain skill and find ways to make spells work the way you want. At the same time, it's important to remember that magical solutions require mundane legwork, are never guaranteed, and rarely manifest in ways that are boldly obvious.

As for your mental health issues....

My darling poppet, I have those same problems myself. I struggle with some hellish permutation of depression, anxiety, ADHD, executive dysfunction, intrusive thoughts, forgetfulness, imposter syndrome, migraines, neuropathy, and insomnia every single day. I know how painful and frustrating it is, how much it feels like I should be able to do more, like other witches must be doing better than me because they don't have these problems.

But I also know that I am more than my mental and physical health issues. I know that when my spells don't work, it's because of probability or circumstance, not because I wasn't feeling my best when I cast it. I am every bit as much of a witch on the days when I perform fullscale warding rituals as I am when I can barely get out of bed, let alone find the energy to study technique or cast a spell. And believe me - so are you.

MANY witches struggle with issues of mental health, chronic illness, limited mobility, and more. It doesn't make any of us any less valid as magical practitioners. We do not have to be perfect to practice. The craft meets us where we are.

Having these issues just means that we might have to be a little more creative in how we approach our studies. It may means finding different ways to meditate or trying different ways of casting the same kind of spell. It may mean finding creative ways to eliminate distractions or work spells into our everyday routine rather than waiting for a special occasion. It may mean having a "close enough" mentality for celebrating holidays or thinking outside the box when it comes to magical timing. But it's still very, VERY possible.

The most important thing is to be patient with yourself and to not judge your progress by comparing it to someone else's. There are as many ways to do witchcraft as there are witches in the world. Your journey will not look like anyone else's, because there is only one you. Don't feel like you need to tie yourself down to one idea or one methodology because that's what you see around you. If the path you're on isn't working, look for another one.

It may take time, but with patience and practice, it does get easier. An acorn on the ground seems small, but given time, there stands an oak. Believe in yourself and in your ability to change and grow, and don't give up!

I hope this helps a little. My inbox is always open for questions.

#rossoporpora #witchcraft #witchblr #baby witch #beginner witch #spoonie witch #Advice for Beginner Witches #Bree answers your inquiries #I know I've talked about my mental and physical health issues before and I believe it's important to have these conversations #Representation matters on so many levels and you never know who needs to see it #Everyone needs to know that they're not alone #Mom Friend Mode: Activate

286 notes · View notes

benlaksana · 3 years

Text

2021

youtube

It's been roughly a year and a half since the start of the Covid-19 pandemic here in Indonesia, and I've recently been trying to understand where I'm at. Not physically, as in physical space, but mentally and probably existentially. What is the state of my mind? I am aware that I've become somewhat bitter, my late nights are sometimes riddled with anxiety for what the next day may bring and reoccurring personal-collective grief has at times, and recently more often than I would like to admit, numbed me.

This may probably be my mind's automatic coping mechanism seeing all this death mainly as a result of how my government has failed us, its citizens, especially during a time of crises. And I really need to stress this point: how my government has failed us Indonesians during the times we need it the most and I very much believe that it is because of this why many of us Indonesians are in constant misery and haunted by that feeling of despair. If chronic physical pain causes constant daily anguish, I am not surprised if chronic physical and mental pain caused by structural violence causes persistent misery as well.

I'm somewhat fortunate in this regard, I'm grateful that I've learned ways to keep my sanity in check. My contemplative practice is key for me. Honestly, I wouldn't have gotten far in life without it. I have many people to thank, but Art Buehler especially, my former professor in esoteric contemplative/meditative practices who reminded me and pointed a certain possible direction of where I should head when I sense a lost in my life's direction, is one those I should thank the most. I know this seems like an individualized response to structural oppression, and I don't intend to paint such a picture, but I do believe we need some kind of mental stability to keep on going. To survive if not thrive.

Art sadly passed away in 2019. I received an email about his passing. And come to think of it I never really did allow myself to properly grieve for his passing. I don't know why. To be told through a short concise email that someone you cared for died, without having the opportunity to properly say goodbye feels like that person never really passed away. It is horrible way to end relationships. A sudden cut, nothing finalized, and since goodbyes are relational, now nothing can really ever be concluded. I have to make amends with myself and only with myself. If I said goodbye yesterday, or if I say goodbye today or perhaps tomorrow, will it ever be enough for me?

youtube

Life is individual yet also relational. It's good to have friends, family, people that care for you or the odd mix of all three to get you through life. So although I have these array of tools to possibly help get me through life but if the people whom you look for some kind direction is no longer present, I'm just not sure for how long I can maintain it if I'm doing all this by myself. Will a breaking point come to me?

The mind is a fickle thing, and the mind is as strong as its habits. Bad habits, bad mind. Good habits, good healthy mind (no habits, no mind?). They also say that things that might happen, will indeed happen. It is just a matter of time. If so, how will I break? To what extent? For how long? What will change? What will I lose? Will there be something renewed? Will I come out the same person? Will I come out changed but for the worst?

This is one of the things that worries me. That certainty of uncertainty. The certainty of breaking, the uncertainty of when and of its form. Will I explode in sudden exasperation, engulfed in madness? Will it be a quick balloon pop yet a slow descend into meaninglessness? An unabashed diatribe rant towards someone I care? Something that's just a twitter post away from me on actually doing it. Will this be an opening, an opportunity for 'satori', a sudden lift of the 'veil', bringing about comprehension and understanding of the true nature of things? Questions, questions, questions, not much when it comes to answers, is all I have for now. To be hopeful is hard these days and with the wavering hope, very much coming and going like waves, it has become incredibly hard to even retain any semblance of kindness. That is something I do not want to actively become a habit of. Without hope, comes the cold embrace of fatalism that many on the 'left' are guilty of. Clutched by fatalism, empathy becomes harder to come by. I've seen it, and I have felt it.

I know that my eroding sense of hope is connected to my personal dreams. Specifically how it has become very hard to actualize it. Rara and I never really planned on staying in Indonesia for long. I was confident enough, a bit too confident come to think of it, that we will be out of Indonesia by 2021 the latest. A mere 2 1/2 years after our last stay in New Zealand. The plan was for me to continue my studies, getting into a Ph.D. program and of course a scholarship. That was our ticket out. Hoping that we'll be back to our old routine in Wellington, in and out the university's library, my head in books, loving our 'flatwhites' while regretting having too much of it, the usual stint doing some university tutoring, community organizing stuff, lazy gardening, out and about on the weekends tramping around Wellington and if Covid did not happen or/and maybe if my government handled things much, much better I think that would've been the case. Or at least I constantly would like to imagine that would be the case.

youtube

Yet here we are still in Indonesia, me struggling to do my Ph.D. through this wretched distant learning, initially in the comfort of my home yet steadily devolving into cabin fever. And Rara with her own struggles trying her best to get back on her feet as an aspiring musician. None of it is going as well as we had hoped for. All this while juggling trying our best to keep ourselves safe and our families and friends safe. Both of us have become direct witnesses how challenging this has been, physically and mentally. Both of us slowly grappling with the continual kick in the gut, the never ending structural absurdity, violently absurd.

That slow grueling realization of how fragile our lives are. Not just existentially. It is existentially precarious yet at the same time understanding that precariousness in many of its aspects is structurally and politically maintained. It is this political construction of precarity, which Isabell Lorey elaborates in her book State of Insecurity: Government of the Precarious, that angers and saddens us the most.

Lorey provides a nuanced approach in unpacking and differentiating this thing called being 'precarious'. The three dimensions of being precarious: precariousness, precarity and then precarization. On precariousness, Lorey draw's on Judith Butler's conceptualization of precariousness which she sees as existential, relational and inevitable. I'll insert my existential philosophy and Buddhist values here, to help me see and more importantly accept the transient nature of life and that impermanence or change is the only constant. Our lives, our bodies are destined to die and wither away. We humans are fragile mortal beings. The loss of life, the loss of one's identity, the loss of everything that makes us, us is unavoidable. It's also a 'relational' thing, as in it is also a shared experience. Everyone will experience it. It is the great equalizer some say.

Then we have precarity. Yes everyone dies, but the process of dying or even the process of grieving someone's death is dependent on what Lorey see as the “effects of different political, social and legal compensations of a general precariousness”. Some die at young age due to starvation, riddled with poverty and disease and have nothing or no one to ease their pain, others die surrounded by family and friends in a well-cared for hospital. Some have days or weeks to grieve, others have to go back to work the next day as she or he have no luxury to stop working even just for a moment and simply grieve. To stop working even for a day draws some closer to the possibility of death for the person or those dependent on the person working. This is the inequality of dying and grieving due to our social hierarchies. How fragile we are, is dependent on those social hierarchies.

And last we have Lorey's third dimension, governmental precarization which is the instrumentalization of insecurity by the government. In other words, the government using the idea and the reality of insecurity as a tool or device to control its citizens. The calculated, deliberate attempt by the government in destabilizing our lives in order for us to be easily governed. Insecurity, be it real or due to perceived constructed fear of insecurity is an effective governing tool. The fear of being labeled "useless and lacking in contribution to the nation-state". The genuine insecurity of not being able to get a job due to the false understanding that it is simply a result of an individual's laziness rather than due to systematic government policies. The deliberate attempt in making our lives constantly insecure, constantly on the edge, without us initially knowing it and when we do come to understand, the blame is on us. It is normalized and it is internalized.

youtube

This is not simply a social issue, it is a deeply existential one as well. We Indonesians have very little to make us feel safe at the moment. Covid and the government's response to it has severely limited our movements and it's not simply physical immobility, but also an existential one, the inability to even have the imagination that our lives are actually "going somewhere", towards a forward direction. Perhaps some sort of minute incremental progress, but progress nonetheless. This imagined mobility is what Ghassan Hage calls as "existential mobility" and this immobility suffered by many of us is what he also calls as "stuckedness".

Turning an often momentary or the ephemeral nature of a crisis into something prolonged and perhaps even permanent is another part of the strategy of governmental precarization. Our lives or jobs are always on the line and again coupled with the sick prevailing idea that we only have ourselves to find the solution. The crisis is permanent, we don't know why but we've been told that way, if we fail to overcome it is because of our personal inabilities thus proliferating and intensifying this sense of stuckedness.

Forcing us to accept whatever solution the government-messiah presents us with in order to relieve us from this suffering. From labour laws that normalizes precariousness even more, to oppressive new laws that limits our desire and ability to dissent, to including who or how our enemies are defined, easily accepting who is to blame for all this insecurity we are all suffering.

Be it the long dead Indonesian communists, the Chinese Indonesians and the racist perception of them being "selfish and greedy", the Indonesian Islamists - the kadruns and their conservatism, the "foreign forces" whomever they may be constantly trying to take over Indonesia, anyone or anything is to blame. Anyone but the Indonesian government and its affluent patrons. Insecurity and the fear that rises from it renders many of us easily governable and compliant.

This governmental precarization and this 'stuckedness', which Hage sees no longer as a possibility that may or may not happen but an "inevitable pathological state which has to be endured" is how Rara and I feel at the moment.

youtube

Rara and I feel our lives are going nowhere. We feel that our lives are stuck, constantly rotating in a hamster wheel trying our best to overcome our precariousness. No progress, no forward movement, no growth, just trying our best to survive from this sustained uncertainty. It's an awful feeling, paving way to existential dread. We are very much looking forward to moving back to New Zealand as soon as possible but with the conditions right now, that is something I can't even dare to imagine.

And although I am grateful that the weave of our privilege with at many times just pure sheer luck has kept us alive and physically well for the time being, we both now realize that we have hit a proverbial concrete wall here. Adding to the already precarious nature of life here in Indonesia, our line of work as a fledgling social science academic and aspiring artist and what Rara and I aspire to do socially, what we aspire to become, easily ends in stagnation if we intend to continue to live our lives in Indonesia. (I want to direct you to Social Science and Power edited by Vedi Hadiz and Daniel Dhakkidae to get the gist of what I'm trying to get at here.)

This is a hard pill to swallow, harder to write and even more so to act upon. I am existentially tied to Indonesia, my family and friends are here, my father is buried here and so will my mother. Memories of the distant past, the colloquial language when shitposting on social media, my mind and body have been shaped by Indonesia in ways I possibly do not even fully realize. This is why I oscillate between guilt towards others and guilt towards the self. I feel guilty for simply having an exit strategy when many others don't, I have the luxury of choice. Yet I also I feel guilty for feeling guilty about this, as it means I am also neglecting the well-being of myself, now and in the future. I need to work on this and find my bearings, being stuck in a guilty limbo won't get me anywhere.

And the future is far from stable, I wonder what is on the other end of surviving this pandemic? There is so much collective grief, collective anger and of course personal anger. All this will amount to something, I'm sure of that. Although I don't know what exactly, I'm not entirely confident this something will be good. John Keane's new book 'The New Despotism' comes into mind.

What do I personally do with all this anger? I’ve noticed how anger, especially when it is on the verge of hatred, morphs itself and easily descends into madness, into aggression and often showing itself, unawaringly to us, when the act of expressing anger happens. Your mind becomes instantly clouded, ending in mindless action. This inability to have control over oneself terrifies me. I already have so very little semblance of control over life in general at the moment, if I truly have no control over myself whatsoever, what then do I have?

And I wonder if it is a waste of time asking these pseudo-intellectual questions? I don't know, yet I do know I live in a society where it hones aggression and hostility, whether it be in physical and digital spaces, and I would like to draw myself away from all this at the moment before I transform myself into something I do not wish to be. Anger I can fully understand, and it is needed and useful. Yet to actively transform it into deep blinding hatred and sustain it daily, is something I feel psychologically destructive for me and I'm trying my best not to go on that path.

I rarely update this blog I know, but this blog has always been used as a personal chronicle of how much I have progressed, digressed or both. And I needed to write all this, because I've never been this least sure of what my life should be like and where it should go. I know I am not alone at this. This pandemic has destroyed the lives of many, our futures, our dreams, our sources of love and I hope that anyone of you reading this finds a way to get through it, doing anything you can do day in, day out.

I'm not sure it if amounts to anything. Maybe it won't, maybe it will, or maybe it has but maybe we just can't see it. All I can personally do for now, is to hold on to these 'maybes', and maybe, just maybe I'll get through this too.

youtube

“Where must we go...

We who wonder this Wasteland

in search of our better selves?”

- The First History Man, George Miller

34 notes · View notes

punkscowardschampions · 5 years

Text

Buster & Rio

Buster: Remember how I reckoned my parents were so checked out Buster: Well they quizzing me now Rio: 😬 So sneaky! Rio: Waiting to see if you were flying solo like Nance too, like Buster: Right? Who knew they had it in them Buster: I told them I met a girl there but my mum clearly ain't buying it Buster: Me and her are having a 🙄 competition basically Rio: Well, at least you can both enjoy that? Rio: Ahh, not good Rio: I'm having my own fun being uncharacteristically vague Rio: Lucky for me only Gracie is so interested to get 👀 suspicious and I can buy her off, like Buster: I'm over it Buster: Literally 18 now sorry fam Buster: Not like I married this mystery girl, like Buster: Just a holiday fling as far as they know Rio: Cold way to break it to me but okay 😜 Rio: Don't think that's the best way to show how mature you are, hittin' em with a YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO but Buster: Very subtle way for you to drop a hint that you're in it for that 💍 babe Buster: That's 'cause I ain't got nothing to prove Buster: They're just showing up since the world knows they let me and Nance go off and do whatever we want Rio: Shup, can rinse you well before that 😉 Rio: No amateur Rio: True facts Rio: Where was the Colin, lads? Tut tut Buster: 💔 When you end up with a girl who's exactly like your ma Buster: How many times are YOU gonna make me ask then? Buster: Rude Buster: 🏆 parents of the year Rio: I mean, definitely a joke to be made about looking outside the fam there Rio: Fool 😂 Rio: Awkward when they reckon they know what a messy year it's been and they only know the half of it Rio: IOU for your sis taking the heat big time Buster: Who you fooling, Cavante, keeping your eyes on that prize 💎 Buster: Yeah Buster: Be interesting to see if she gets the same third degree about how she spent her hol Buster: It's harder to dig when all you've got to go from is aesthetically pleasing scenery, yeah? Unlucky mum Rio: 🙄 You know, you're far more annoying when you ain't somewhere hot and stunning, like Rio: Think on, boy 😏 Buster: Shut up Buster: You know I am hot and stunning Buster: Think on how much you miss me already Rio: Sure she's up for the challenge, whether Nancy is up for the jail time is another question entirely Rio: Hmm Buster: 😂 Rio: Though that would soften the blow of our escapades so like Rio: spill that tea, gurl Buster: I hope for her sake its not a top family holiday destination Rio: Omg Rio: Stop Buster: Make me Buster: I'm so bored Rio: Init Rio: Real life's shit Buster: I refuse to call this real when you ain't with me Rio: Babe Rio: I do miss you Rio: spoilt in all the ways Buster: I miss you too Buster: How are we topping that for your birthday then, what's the plan, like? Rio: Damn, the real question Rio: I've got no clue Rio: use this slow shift as an excuse to be looking Buster: I've gotta take you somewhere hotter and more stunning, obviously Buster: Make myself scarce so you get your turn to brag Rio: 'Course Rio: though Indie will be devvo I'm keeping you off the 'gram Buster: Standard Buster: I'll manage a post or two somehow though Rio: Don't let a win get you cocky Rio: even though we totally got away with it Buster: 'Course Buster: We're that good babe Buster: I never doubted it Rio: Obviously Rio: Lucky it's me who's doing it fam Rio: I'd defs know 👀 Buster: You could've done us all a favor and foreseen what was happening with Nance though Buster: Like if you're gonna be such a know-it-all Rio: 😑 Rio: She's very secretive! Buster: Calm down Buster: I'm only playing Rio: Well I feel bad Rio: I should've noticed Buster: Come on Buster: How could you? You ain't at school with her any more Rio: But I was when all this started Buster: Yeah, but like you said, she's been keeping this secret for a long time Buster: We both know if you wanna you'll find a way Rio: Yeah Rio: Guess so Rio: I don't like it Rio: Gonna have to go full mum mode and start reading diaries around here Buster: Well she's one off your list to worry about Buster: It's unlikely she'll pull anything else like this again Buster: Lesson learned Rio: What a way to learn it though Rio: Oh God Buster: I didn't reckon anyone dreading school more than me but she's got me beat for sure Buster: I'm surprised she didn't just hide out on holiday forever like Rio: Seriously Rio: Guess no one is Chloe levels of bad Rio: face it now and it'll be nothing more than a passing joke to everyone else Buster: Exactly Buster: At least when we were away the worst Chlo and that lot could do was like my pics Buster: No point trying to hit me up when I'm that far even if you are really horny Rio: 'Less you're me and bitch keep trying, like Buster: Though I wouldn't put it past her to fly out Buster: I did for you Rio: Yeah, but I'm special 😉 Buster: She's deluded enough to think I am Rio: Shut up you are Buster: She don't know me like you do Buster: Or at all, honestly Rio: She wishes Rio: Psycho, honestly Rio: and I don't just throw the phrase around lightly, like Buster: Unfortunately they ain't limited to your exes or even the 24 Rio: You kidding? Rio: You know how many you're gonna meet in your chosen profession? Rio: Hopefully they won't try and fuck you, like Buster: Unless it's some hot widow who wants me to defend her for offing her husband, like Rio: You fancy being her next victim, alright Rio: more fool you, babe Buster: She could be innocent Buster: Don't be so cynical or jealous, babe Rio: Yeah, save it for the judge Buster: 😏 Rio: 😒 Buster: 😂 Buster: You're funny Rio: Hilarious 🖕 Buster: Yeah Buster: When can I see you again? Rio: About that Buster: What? Rio: They're getting a bit shirty at work with all the time I've been taking off Rio: so I said I'd work every day basically until xmas, busy time and all that Buster: I'll come to you then Buster: Hang out and be distracting Rio: Yeah? Buster: 'Course Buster: I'm not gonna just not see until Christmas that's ages away Rio: Good Rio: 'cos it is Rio: may as well rinse this festive period for what it's worth though Buster: If I do my homework in the corner don't take the piss though Rio: 🤞 Rio: You gotta Buster: Likewise don't be too 😍 either Buster: I know I'm sexy as but Buster: I'll have to concentrate Rio: Do my best Rio: sexy 🤓 daddy come thru Rio: 😂 Buster: You literally just promised not to take the piss Buster: 😒 Rio: Aww baby Rio: Not, honest Buster: Say that you promise then Rio: 'Course I promise Rio: Easy Rio: You're always hot to me Rio: Nothing you could do, but that ain't a challenge Buster: Good Buster: I'll resist your non-challenge since you're behaving for once Rio: 😇 Rio: Got to set an example for you Buster: But that's easy too yeah? Rio: Naturally Rio: Can't you attest to the fact I'm a good girl yet? Buster: You have your moments Buster: Any chance of you using your influence on my sister if I'm gonna be in Dublin annoying you both until Christmas Rio: I can try Rio: It's hard fighting your corner without saying things I probably shouldn't know though Buster: Oh Buster: Shit I never thought of that Rio: Yeah Rio: if I can get her to talk to you though, then you can say what I know Rio: so, I'll see, sure I can manage that at least Buster: Forget it Rio: I obviously won't Rio: busybody for life Rio: it won't seem strange, she knows it about me too, like Buster: But still Rio: I won't if you seriously don't want Buster: I don't know Rio: You don't need to rush it but like Rio: don't let it fester, won't make it any easier Buster: The longer this goes on the more unnecessarily dramatic it seems Buster: But I don't know what to do if she won't hear me out Buster: And not enough ways to properly say sorry either, like Rio: Yeah Rio: I know it feels counter-intuitive but sometimes you have to talk when the other person reckons they don't wanna hear it Rio: you can't both be stubborn on this one, and you're the one that needs her to break so you gotta go first Buster: Yeah Buster: Okay Buster: I'll chat to her at the weekend when I come see you Rio: Proud of you Buster: Shut up Rio: 😏 Rio: Try not to get too angry Rio: she's fuming enough, like Buster: Cheers for that, babe Buster: Would've never have guessed, like Rio: I'm just saying Rio: it ain't gonna work if you can't be the bigger person for a hot sec Buster: I love you Rio: I love you too Buster: Rio Rio: Buster? Buster: Thanks Buster: Seriously Rio: Don't mention it Buster: I have to Buster: Nobody else is gonna Rio: On your behalf? Rio: Shouldn't think so, know you ain't got a secretary yet Buster: Is that you volunteering your services, babe? Rio: Ha Rio: fun as that'd be, you'd never get anything done and my shorthand probably ain't all that, like Buster: What's your typing speed? Rio: You're interviewing me now? Buster: Why not Rio: Okay Rio: Think how fast that reply was is enough of an indication of my typing speed and eagerness Buster: You're hired Rio: That was easy Rio: I would've done anything to get this job, like Buster: 😂 Buster: Still plenty of potential promotions to negotiate, babe Buster: I just know how badly you want this job Rio: Good to know Rio: All about that upward mobility Rio: What's your boss like? Buster: I'm my own boss Rio: 🤤 Rio: Okay can't pretend Rio: that was hot Buster: You're hot Buster: I'm so glad I don't have to pretend about that any more Buster: To you at least Rio: Please don't Rio: Take my pay in compliments Buster: Gonna have to give you a pay rise straight away then Rio: So cute Buster: I just miss you Buster: I can't help it Rio: I miss you too Rio: Did you have a good birthday then? Buster: You know I did Rio: Good Rio: 'cos I did Rio: a lot Buster: Yeah? Rio: Yeah Rio: I kinda love you Buster: You really love me Buster: You can say it Rio: Okay Rio: I love you a lot Buster: Good Buster: And I had a really great birthday with you Rio: Get used to it Rio: Can't jet-set at Christmas sadly but still find a way to treat you Buster: Do you reckon we can for your birthday though? Buster: I don't want you to lose your job but I don't wanna not take you away Rio: I can't literally work all the time now 'til then Rio: fuck that Rio: if they're gonna be that arsey I'll just quit Rio: don't want me showing up to work with my 18s on when i've been working there over a year do you Buster: You'll easily be able to get a better job when you actually are 18 though Buster: So yeah fuck them Rio: God I hope so Rio: such an old man pub Rio: not a mood Buster: You will babe Buster: You're the only decent thing about that place Buster: Besides, if it comes down to it, you'll always be my secretary so 😏 Rio: Yeah, that's keeping the lights on 😉 Rio: I can't wait now Rio: Maybe I can convince Indie to move somewhere more decent with me Buster: Bribe her with a dog Buster: That should work Rio: A trail of dog treats out of the 24 Rio: Aww Buster: I feel like she'll never leave it'll be like when you move house but your cat don't Buster: Just keeps coming back, like Rio: As much as the mangy feline comparison gotta sting Rio: I feel it Rio: Bless her Buster: Just move in here Buster: Every problem solved Buster: As long as you go back to feed Indie Rio: When you're probably pissing off to America in a year? Rio: I don't wanna be stuck in that postcode on my own thanks Buster: Come to American then Buster: They're only slightly more annoying Rio: Yeah right Buster: I promise you Yanks ain't that bad Rio: You're funny Buster: Yeah but I also ain't lying Rio: Got that on good faith have you? Buster: 'Course Buster: Posh cunts are posh cunts wherever you go Rio: Wanna talk no class though Chlo Rio: they don't even understand th concept Buster: I wonder what uni she'll end up at Buster: I can't really quiz her for where to cross off my list Rio: Surely she ain't smart enough for wherever you go Rio: no matter who she knows Buster: I can't say I've ever peered at her papers when they've handed the grades back Buster: But you're probably right Rio: Maybe I'm just being a bitch and want her to be thick Rio: she doesn't come across smart if she is Buster: 😂 Rio: So jealous, yeah? Rio: Tragic Buster: You aren't really though, yeah? Buster: For any of it, I mean, not just me Buster: She's not that rich or posh either, honestly Rio: Nah, I mean Rio: I dunno Rio: not like I'm poor or actual scum Rio: just reckon it'd be nice to be like her and so oblivious Rio: Too much shit in this family to not have a care in the world, even if the money's good, yeah Buster: Yeah Buster: And like I've said before, I like how you are Rio: That's alright then 😏 Buster: She only thinks we look good together on paper 'cause I'm a cunt on paper Buster: Forget her Rio: Yeah Rio: 'Course Rio: she can like your shit all she wants, I was there Buster: She wants to know who you are so badly Buster: That's why she's hovering around my posts Rio: Can't act like I ain't been there Rio: nosy bitches unite but fuck off Buster: You're nothing like her though Buster: Thank Christ Rio: Don't think I could pull it off 😂 Buster: She can't either but it ain't stopping her Buster: Works on the lads well enough Rio: That ain't hard, trust me Buster: Clearly Buster: I'm trying not to think about how many lads you and her have in common at this point Rio: Won't hit her up to compare notes then Buster: You're safe I don't think you're on her radar even if you did Rio: Should I be offended Buster: Relieved is how I'd take it Buster: But take it however you like Rio: Will do Buster: Don't be mad though Rio: I ain't mad Rio: Why are we talking about her anyway Buster: That sounds like you're raging about it Rio: Just 'cos I don't wanna talk about Little Miss Chloe? Buster: Well, yeah Rio: If you've got more to say about her Rio: feel free Buster: Don't be like that Rio: I dunno what you want me to say Rio: talk about her or don't, i'm really fine Buster: Whatever Buster: Forget it and forget her Rio: Done Buster: Are you working tonight? Rio: Yeah Rio: back to reality with a dull thump Buster: Agreed Buster: I've got an essay to write so I'm gonna need as much distraction as you Rio: Won't get it from me Rio: 😇 Good girl, remember? Buster: Come on Buster: What happened to our swapped roles? Rio: Gonna have to do a lot more to convince me to distract you from your studies Rio: Shouldn't be promising all those frat boys and rich professors, like Rio: How else am I getting there, babe? Buster: Get a plane ticket and you're there, babe Buster: One look at you and they'd be convinced Rio: Yeah but you make the whole thing a bit more legitimate Buster: What you mean is, it's no fun for you teasing them if it also doesn't get to me, yeah? Rio: You reckon this is all about you? Buster: I know it is Rio: Cocky dickhead Buster: Maybe Buster: But it's still true Rio: Well Rio: What're you going to do about it Buster: Obviously you need reminding that it is all about me Buster: 'Cause you're mine Buster: And I'm keeping you Buster: But I've got an idea Rio: Yeah? Buster: Yeah Buster: I bought you something when I went shopping the other day, I reckon you can have it now it's no longer my birthday, like Rio: What Buster: No spoilers, wait until it gets to you Rio: Is it a birthday present do I have to wait that long? Buster: 'Course not Buster: I'm no amateur, babe Rio: You can't just buy me things for no reason Rio: and without warning Buster: Don't you want it? Buster: You'll like it, I promise Rio: I mean Rio: Of course I do but Rio: I've not got you anything Buster: That's not why I did it so it doesn't matter Rio: Okay Rio: no spoilers and all but can I have a clue Buster was timed out 20 hours ago Buster joined the chat 20 hours ago Buster: Your clue will be to check the post tomorrow, like Buster: I know you don't like waiting so Rio: Babe Buster: What, you think I'm gonna give you time to talk me out of it? Nah Rio: You're bad Rio: Honestly Buster: You love it Rio: You're an idiot Rio: You really miss me that much already? Buster: 'Course Buster: I miss you more the more time I get to spend with you Buster: Is that not how it's meant to work Rio: It's encouraging Rio: and a decent review so Rio: cheers Buster: You're welcome Rio: [Present arrives] Rio: I can't believe you sent that in the post Rio: to the 24, of all places Buster: What can I say? Where's the fun in not taking risks Rio: It's so Rio: perfect Rio: how'd you know? Buster: Easy Buster: I know what you like Rio: Yeah Buster: Besides, if you didn't i'd just send it to my other girlfriend, obviously Rio: Piss off Rio: Good luck getting it back, I'd sell it Buster: 😂 Buster: 'Course you would Buster: Can't take the 24 from the girl, yeah? Rio: Just saving you from bad 🍀 Rio: you can't regift Buster: Cheers for that, babe Buster: You're the best Rio: Shut up Rio: thanks Buster: 🤐 Buster: Like I said the other day, you're welcome Rio: I miss you Rio: I'm wearing it now Buster: I miss you too Buster: Yeah? How does it look? Rio: [Sends pics] Buster: I already knew what the answer would be, but I'm not sorry Rio: It's alright, I don't mind that you've got ulterior motives Buster: Good 'cause I'm not saying you have to thank me with actions as well as words but if you wanna, I'm not gonna say no Rio: Definitely keep you in mind, babe Rio: not hurt your #ranking like Buster: I'll keep you in mind too Buster: Constantly Rio joined the chat 18 hours ago Rio: I wish you were here Rio: or I was there Rio: whatever Rio: I want you Buster: Me too Buster: So tempted to skip school but shhh Rio: Shh indeed Rio: Best behaviour or your 'rents might go the whole 9 yards and ground you Buster: The only way I'm gonna agree to not being able to leave my room is if I sneak you in first Rio: You don't get to negotiate baby 😂 Buster: Please, they'd love that Rio: Probably Rio: Bunch of weirdos, swear down Buster: When I graduate from Havard or whatever they can take their share of the credit Rio: Of course Rio: I'll keep it hush about our study seshs Rio: don't worry Buster: Nah, you've gotta take your dues too Rio: Probably won't interrupt their speech with it Rio: way to break news though Buster: You not gonna make your own? Buster: Just gonna say everything you've gotta say in private instead, yeah? Rio: Obviously Rio: You'll be glad of it, trust Buster: How glad? Rio: Get you saying your hallelujahs despite your feelings on the big man Buster: Get me writing my vows Buster: I know your game, babe Rio: 😒 Rio: You dumb Buster: You love me Buster: Always have, always will Rio: Umm don't be trying to write mine for me Rio: cheek Buster: Don't be acting like that ain't what you're gonna say Buster: Just make the kiss sound like better than it was, yeah? Rio: Ha, get dragged at your own wedding, ouch Rio: You might reckon I'm predictable but I'm not that much of a bitch Buster: I could call you a lot of shit, but predictable, nah Buster: not you baby Rio: Yeah yeah Rio: being sweet now 😏 Buster: Hold up, I'll send you another gift Rio: Will snitch on you Rio: get your cards revoked for your own good 😂 Buster: No you wouldn't Rio: It does go against everything I usually stand for Rio: but I'll make an exception for you Buster: Awh babe you're gonna break all your rules for me Buster: So cute Rio: 😣 Rio: Imma break your face in a minute Buster: Are you standing on a chair right now? Buster: Be careful Rio: 😡 Rio: GRR Buster: 😂 Buster: I love you Rio: I love you too Rio: even if you are rude Buster: It ain't my fault you're small Rio: You make it sound like I've got something wrong with me! Buster: Shut up Buster: You're perfect and you know it Buster: But I'm not gonna pick you up so you can smack me Rio: Well if you're nice I have a better idea Buster: 😇 Rio: Only look like one, boy Buster: Don't lie Buster: You know how nice I can be Rio: True Rio: got the reminder now Buster: You're gonna wear it, right? Buster: Not just for me Rio: Of course Rio: It's beautiful Buster: Yeah but is everyone else gonna notice that too? Rio: You mean am I gonna get mugged? Rio: It isn't that ghetto here forreal Buster: Don't be an idiot Buster: I mean, are your fam gonna be asking endless questions how they do Rio: Might be asking why I'm dropping so much 💲💲💲 on myself but not really their business Rio: We're good Rio: Not an 💍 is it Buster: Alright Buster: Don't want you reckoning I gave it to you to give you another reason why we've gotta tell 'em Rio: Nah, I didn't think that Rio: although it is rude I've gotta take your recognition on it but Buster: Keep praying for that ring, babe Rio: Sure thing 😏 Rio: Could be playing a dangerous game giving me ideas, boy Buster: Is that supposed to worry me? Buster: I love a dangerous game Rio: Don't I know it Rio: Game on 👊 Buster: I wish we could Buster: It's so shit without you here Rio: I know Rio: Life and soul Rio: Looks like there's nothing to do but your essay 🤷 Buster: I've finished that Buster: Waiting on my reward here Rio: Aside from your A? 🤓 Buster: Obviously Rio: Lucky for you I finished your reward too Rio: Great minds, babe Rio: [Video] Buster: Fuck Buster: Well, okay then Rio: Grade me then Buster: Definitely an A for effort Rio: Yeah? Well, how can I improve the execution Rio: use your words, baby Buster: I can't Buster: Jesus Christ Rio: Works for me Rio: You're welcome 😋 Buster: How are you so hot? Rio: You must inspire it in me Buster: I'm actually speechless Buster: I want you so bad Rio: I know Rio: tell me how you want me Buster: I'd tell you to put this desk to better use but I need you so much I think we'd break it Rio: Guess you're going to have to pick me up like you wanna and slam me against the wall instead Buster: I can make that work Rio: You better Rio: I need to cum Buster: You're gonna cum for me baby Rio: I will if you keep talking Buster: [Sends own vid] Buster: Actions speak louder Rio: Fuck Rio: Yeah they do Rio: You know what it does to me when you make those noises Buster: Call me Buster: You can have them all Rio: [A phonecall later] Rio: You're the best Buster: That's my line Rio: Stop being so fucking good and you can have it back Buster: I don't want it that bad Buster: Just you Rio: I know Rio: I'm already so desperate for you so imagine how needy I'm gonna be by the weekend Buster: I know Buster: I feel it too Rio: Well, maybe I won't be such a moody cow at work now at least Rio: owed so many rounds when you're back in town, like Buster: In both senses of the word Buster: Drinks laid on the bar and you bent over it Rio: BUSTER 😲 Buster: Gotta give you some incentive to stay at work until closing time Rio: Jesus Rio: Now I'm turned on again Buster: I'd say sorry but 1. I ain't and 2. that's easy to fix Rio: I know you ain't but I've gotta get ready so Rio: maybe by the time I'm done you will be Rio: sorry you ain't here, like Buster: You reckon? Rio: You don't? Rio: Challenge accepted Buster: You're going to work not the club, yeah? Rio: How dare you doubt me Rio: Offended Buster: Calm down Buster: If you've got nothing to prove then you don't need to worry, do you? Rio: But clearly I do, babe Buster: You don't Buster: I'm just mad you're leaving Rio: I know, stupid real life getting in the way of all the great sex we wanna have Rio: not like I'll be totally unreachable Buster: But you're basically untouchable Buster: I never thought I'd be so buzzing for Christmas Hols. Not that a fortnight will be enough, like Rio: 😔 Rio: Oh Rio: I just had a good idea though Rio: to make you wait until my bday or nah Buster: Depends how good of an idea it is Buster: And how patient you can be about it Rio: It's a great idea Rio: idk why I only just thought of it Rio: fuck it, we're patient enough about everything else Rio: download this app Buster: Alright Buster: No arguments from me Rio: So, basically, you can control it from where you are Rio: almost like touching, right? Buster: Is this why you believe in God? Buster: 'Cause like not saying I'm coming around to the idea but Rio: Pretty high on my list, though best I keep that to myself on Sundays no matter how #blessed I feel Rio: ain't the spirit inside me, like Buster: 😂 Rio: I can wear them to work if you promise to be sensible Buster: I promise to treat you right, babe Rio: Not the same thing but 🤤 Buster: I'm never calling you an idiot again Buster: There's a promise for you Rio: Damn Rio: All the wins for me Buster: I love you Buster: So fucking much Rio: I love you more Buster: Is that a challenge? Rio: I mean Rio: if it motivates you, babe Buster: It'll motivate me to make the most of this app Rio: Then it definitely is Rio: yep 😏 Buster: If you think you're desperate now, you'll need a new word soon Rio: I'll do my best to think on it whilst you're fucking my brains out Buster: If you can think of anything but me I'm not going hard enough Rio: Well you're in control, daddy Rio: you know what to do Buster: Yeah I do Buster: You're gonna get fucked so good, baby Rio: Please Buster: Say it for me again Rio: Maybe I should save my begging for when I really need it Buster: 😏 full of good ideas today, like Rio: Can't even joke today Rio: you know it baby Buster: Always known it Rio: I'm gonna need that one in writing Buster: It's right there Rio: You been playing but that's the legal and binding document I'm really about Buster: I'm so proud Rio: 😊 Buster: Let's see this mindblowing work outfit then Rio: 🙄 I really need to work on expectation management Buster: No you don't Rio: [Snap] Buster: You're not wearing that Rio: I am though? Buster: Behave Buster: Trying to make me miss you before you've even gone Buster: Fuck's sake Rio: That's the whole point Rio: Silly Buster: Yeah but my point is how turned on I am whilst trying to be so 😇 Rio: Don't be good Rio: The more turned on you are the harder you'll fuck me Buster: How 😈 do you want me to be? Rio: Well Rio: I want you to cum Rio: whatever that takes Buster: If you keep talking like that it won't take much Rio: Better 😶 'til you got me closer then Rio: it's best when we do it together Buster: Yeah that's how I want it Rio: I wish you could cum inside me Buster: Me too Buster: Soon though Rio: I'm already thinking about it though Rio: amongst all the other things we're gonna do Buster: I never stop thinking about it Buster: I can't Buster: Good thing I'm smart or that essay would've been illegible Rio: 😂 accidentally outs us to your teach Rio: I know the feeling though, babe Buster: How the fuck did my sister actually get decent grades Buster: I'm impressed Buster: Don't tell her like but Rio: Yeah, I don't think that's how you wanna start the 'let's be friends' convo Rio: so I'll keep it to myself 😂 Buster: Appreciate it Rio: I still don't see it Rio: very much not the point but Buster: What? Rio: The teacher Rio: she ain't even cute Buster: What does she look like? Rio: Oh, hold up Rio: [pics from facebook] Buster: Are you joking right now or is that really her? Rio: Obviously it is Rio: If I was joking I'd pick someone ridiculously unfanciable Rio: she's just like Rio: a normal woman? Buster: What the fuck Buster: Too late for me to have a word with Nance but like Rio: Right? Rio: It makes it worse Rio: at least if everyone else thought she was fuckable Nance would get an easier time of it but nah Buster: At least if she was fuckable it'd be worth losing your mind over her Buster: Christ Buster: Her girlfriend was alright though, like I wouldn't but Rio: We'd know, babe Rio: Idk if she even liked her now or what Rio: what a mess Buster: I don't know what I pictured this teacher looking like but that wasn't it Buster: Clearly I know my sister even less than I reckoned Buster: Fucking hell Rio: You really thought she'd be hot? 😂 Rio: Boy Buster: Hotter than that Buster: I'm not saying she had to be ruin your life hot but like this crush was years long, yeah? Rio: It was obviously about what was inside, like Rio: looking back she spent more time in her classroom than necessary, just thought she wanted somewhere to hide, like Buster: I'm not having that Buster: If you wanna get inside someone then it's about the outside too Buster: I'm not fucking anyone 'cause they have a decent personality Rio: Well nah, that ain't your type is it Buster: Whose type is it? Like I bet even when her husband first hit that she was younger and hotter Rio joined the chat 5 hours ago Rio: Her husband ain't anything special either Rio: he's a teacher too, you know Buster: What? Buster: At your school? Rio: Yeah Rio: he teaches Irish Buster: Shit Rio: I know Rio: and their son is in our year, that's why everyone's losing their shit Buster: And nobody was gonna tell me none of this ever Buster: Fuck's sake Rio: Obviously Nance ain't in the mood but yeah Rio: reckoned your 'rents would've Buster: Obviously not Buster: No wonder she fucking hates me if she blames me for starting this shit storm Rio: It's fucked Rio: she knows that's a flimsy excuse but yeah Buster: Is it though? If she's gone years without putting any moves on she could've gone one more easy Buster: Until I fucked her head up Rio: You hardly made her Buster: Well I didn't stop her Rio: If she had her mind set on it you couldn't Buster: Yeah I could Rio: Well regardless Rio: happened now Buster: I can't believe my fucking parents Buster: If we weren't fucking I wouldn't be in the loop about anything Rio: They probably reckoned they were saving her further embarrassment Rio: but you're welcome for the unexpected perk? Buster: What do they think I'm gonna do? Buster: Nice to know they reckon I'm that much of a cunt Rio: Come on Rio: The jokes come easy, you wouldn't be the first or only Buster: She's my fucking sister Rio: I know Buster: Some shit's off limits Buster: They're as bad as Chlo is Buster: I'm not gonna laugh it up, like Rio: That might not be why they haven't said Rio: You know what they're like, could have easily just not occurred to them Buster: Yeah, well fuck them Rio: Bit strong Buster: How are you on their side? Rio: I'm not Rio: Just don't get mad at them based off conjuncture Buster: Act like it then Rio: Don't shoot the messenger Buster: I ain't Buster: I'm asking you to back me instead of them Buster: what the fuck Rio: I do Buster: Don't defend their bullshit then Rio: Don't have a go at me Rio: I'm just looking at all sides of it Buster: Like their side matters Buster: You're on mine Rio: Exactly Rio: so I don't want you running your mouth if you don't need to Rio: just trying to save you from more aggro Buster: Fuck off Buster: I have self control Rio: Use it then Buster: You're as bad as them Buster: What do you think I'm gonna do? Buster: I'm not about to go find them to shout the odds Rio: Alright then Rio: I'm not doing this rn Buster: What does that mean? Rio: That I'm too busy to go 'round the houses on this one with you Buster: Fuck you then Buster: If you don't wanna talk to me, don't Rio: This ain't talking Buster: Typing. Whatever Rio: That ain't what I mean Rio: You're just shouting at me, you can blow off steam on your own Buster: Bullshit Buster: I'm not mad at you Rio: Nah? Buster: Come on Buster: You're the only one on my side Buster: I'm not that much of an idiot Rio: They ain't against you Buster: Maybe not but they ain't exactly for me either Rio: Maybe not Rio: not their style Buster: I'm sorry, yeah? Rio: It's alright Buster: It's not Buster: I'm not trying to take shit out of you Rio: Shit happens Rio: I know you're stressed Buster: And you're the only thing that doesn't stress me Buster: You know that, don't you? Rio: Duh Rio: I'm a delight Buster: Actually though Buster: I wish you were here right now Rio: I know Rio: Me too Rio: You're alright, yeah? Buster: Yeah Buster: I just miss you Buster: Standard Buster: It's so easy to forget everything else when I've got you with me Rio: I feel it Rio: but fuck forgetting yeah? we're gonna start sorting shit Rio: grown up style Buster: Full of so many good ideas, Cavante Rio: Just gotta listen, babe Buster: I am, I promise Rio: I love you Buster: I love you Buster: Don't forget it, okay Rio: I ain't gonna Rio: don't worry Buster: Good Rio: Ugh guess who's here Buster: Tell me Rio: Ryan Rio: really starting to think he'd got a life Buster: He better behave himself Rio: Yeah, he's with other people so Rio: still, plenty of pubs lads but whatever Buster: Do what you've gotta do, babe Buster: I'm here Rio: I'm an expert at ignoring him by this point Buster: 'Course Buster: All that matters is that he returns the favor, like Rio: I swear he was cuter when I went out with him Rio: not cute enough to warrant this but like ick Buster: He really wasn't Rio: Well clearly his personality was fire Buster: Again I'm gonna go out on a limb and disagree Rio: 😂 why are you trying drive me to drink here Buster: 'Cause I can't drive you to distraction if he's there Buster: Cunt would think you were hot for him still Rio: Obviously Rio: girls love dedication Buster: Is that what he calls it? Rio: Best if I don't question it Buster: I still reckon its best if I knock him out Rio: Looks like someone beat you to it Rio: his face is fucked Buster: I'd ask how you know it ain't me but Buster: If I started I'm not stopping there Rio: Yeah come on babe, no quitter Buster: You've got jokes but I ain't making one Buster: Maybe it was your new bestie Rio: Who? Buster: Drew Buster: Could be an early birthday gift Rio: Oh lol Rio: Maybe Rio: drug debt Buster: Yeah exactly Buster: At least you look good Rio: How's that a good thing? Buster: It's never not when you see your ex Rio: Sudden expert 😏 Rio: so cute Buster: Shut up Buster: I've got plenty of girls I'd rather not see again Buster: More than you've got official exes Rio: You reckon Buster: You don't? Rio: I dunno Rio: do we really wanna compare numbers Buster: I'll tell you if you wanna know Buster: But it doesn't really matter Rio: Nah Rio: know you'll just get jealous Buster: You know you'll get jealous you mean Rio: I said what I said boy Buster: And you meant what you meant Buster: Which is what I said Rio: Shut up Buster: Make me, babe Rio: No, you'd enjoy it far too much Buster: You say that like it's bad thing Buster: You know you'd get yours Rio: and they say romance is dead 😜 Buster: Says you wearing a bracelet just 'cause Rio: 😏 Shh Buster: Shh me Buster: I've got a lot to say Rio: Go on then Rio: Enlighten me babe Buster: For starters, you've got me feeling like I have to prove what a romantic I am Buster: So it's about time that I mastered this app Buster: Until you feel the love Rio: Baby Rio: I was just playing Buster: If you wanna play, we'll play babe Rio: 😻 Buster: 😏 Rio: You just wanna hear me beg Buster: Yeah Rio: Fair Rio: I've just gotta keep the whole bar from hearing, like Buster: Tell yourself it's only for me Buster: I know you can do it Rio: 😊 Rio: so supportive Buster: It's just a shame I'm not there to actually hold you up Buster: I reckon you're gonna need it Buster: Hang onto the bar, baby Rio: Oh God Buster: He's not taking the credit for this Buster: It's all me Rio: Yeah it's all yours baby Buster: Good 'cause I want it Rio: I want you so bad right now Buster: I know Buster: But you can cum for me as many times as you need Rio: I got your permission? Buster: As long as you're quiet Rio: Fuck Rio: Buster, I can't Buster: Yes you can, baby Rio: I need you to tell me to Buster: Well, I need you to cum for me now Rio: Jesus Rio: Please keep doing whatever it is you're doing Buster: If you say please like you mean it Rio: Please baby Rio: fuck me harder i wanna cum for you right here Buster: Like that? Or like this? Rio: Shit Rio: 2nd one definitely 2nd one Buster: Good to know Rio: Please 😩 Rio: You're teasing me so much Buster: Is that better? Rio: I'm so close Buster: Let's go harder then Rio: I should definitely go somewhere private but also don't trust myself to walk away from this bar Buster: Stay right there, babe Rio: Okay, only because doing what you say makes me every tighter Buster: I know Buster: You love doing what you're told Rio: Only when it's you doing the telling though Buster: I'm the only one who can make you feel this good that's why Rio: It's true Buster: I love you Rio: I can't believe that just made me cum Rio: 😳 Buster: I can Buster: It's a good app babe, well done Rio: You have no idea Rio: Regulars asking if I'm alright like not just babe Buster: 😂 Buster: You've got so many more hours to survive too Buster: Good luck babe Buster: I'm only just getting started with this Rio: Please Rio: Be serious Buster: I'm so serious Rio: Babe Buster: Yeah? Rio: I love you Buster: I miss you Rio: I miss you more Buster: You'll be too tired to miss me when this shift is over Rio: Awh is that your plan? Rio: So chivalrous Buster: 'Course Rio: Will you go to sleep with me when I'm done Buster: Yeah Buster: You know that's the only way I wanna sleep if you can't be here Rio: Good Buster: How long have you actually got left? Rio: You sleepy babe? Buster: Hilarious Buster: I'm just thinking about how much I'll be able to tire you out Rio: You've got about 3 hours total left Rio: Use 'em wisely Buster: Plenty of time

0 notes

Last Seen Blogs

unicorn-of-innocence

Innocent.

textsymbols

Text Symbols

nienwx

NER

movedyoakkemae

夜明け前

eazs

E M A ZAZUETA