#Key insight

[fortanix]

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[nonsenseofyesteryear]

thinking about how juvenile detention made everyone in the vicious generation worse, and how they're probably all bonded by the shared trauma of incarceration in a way that most of them probably don't even consciously realize and would definitely never admit to even if they did.

#tokyo revengers #izana kurokawa #shion madarame #ran haitani #rindou haitani #yasuhiro muto #kanji mochizuki #izana's abandonment issues are obviously a key plot point #but like. the rest of them? would probably strangle you if you tried to pity them #i read this book last year about juvenile justice in america #and it was very much about the US system but there were some insights that could apply to other countries #namely the idea that if you take people in their formative years and put them in the dangerous and isolated environment of a prison #it will shape them and not for the better

[raceweek]

alex adding “cat dad 🐱” to his instagram bio has more of an impact on the history of f1 than whatever they’re doing with sprint races btw

#this is the hard hitting journalistic insight into the key issues you get here at raceweekdottumblrdotcom #alex albon

[mezzomorendo]

ladies who are zack's type: - cissnei - aerith

men who are zack's type: - cloud - tseng - sephiroth - cid - roche - rufus

#ooc; kei talks #i can't explain what eXACTLY his type is #if anyone has any insight pls lemme know

[rpfisfine]

an overview of the things we watched during my turbofolk seminar for @roadwhores @lofimp3 and my other balkan (and non-balkan) followers who might be interested

(my professor is bulgarian for context and unfortunately she hasn’t made the presentation with all the additional information public yet so these r just my personal notes & things ive remembered.Thumbs up)

we started with the only balkan song that is on the voyager golden record which i thought was sooooo beautiful as someone from a country who didn’t have anything interesting to contribute to the golden record besides the greeting to the universe i feel very humbled and reverent to have listened to it

goran bregović - bella ciao & kalashnikov at sziget festival 2012 (our professor mentioned that he’s kind of a piece of shit who steals songs from marginalized communities and profits off of it and has been actively sued for it in the past so i made sure to shake my head while i was listening to show that i didn’t agree with his actions)

recordings of traditional folk songs being performed at serbian weddings I forgot to write the performer’s name down but he played the clarinet beautifully and someone stuck a bill to his forehead while he was playing to show their appreciation which I think we need to bring back)

we talked abt ceca quite extensively and also looked at one paparazzi photo of her with some politician guy who besides being her biggest fan in the world is also apparently a huge fan of vinnetou & robert de niro which i thought was kind of a slay personally

we watched one lepa brena video from the 80s and one from the 90s to see the transformation of her style and the sound of her music throughout the years

+ also clips of her wedding to boba which we compared to ceca’s wedding to the serbian mobster who then ended up being assasinated (we didn’t touch on ceca’s personal criminal history too much but after a brief glimpse at her wikipedia page I think we should have im slightly obsessed with her i think)

the most aggressively 90s and vaguely bisexual music video by saška vaseva abt clubbing and drinking….loved it

neshto netipichno (probably not spelled right but i copied it from the yt title) by ivana

azis!!!!!!!!! he’s such an icon to me our professor showed us a selection of his mvs ranging from the time when he wasn’t out as a gay man yet to i think his most recent song so we kind of witnessed his whole transformation from his like full blown drag stuff (i.e "hop" - SLAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) to his most recent very aggressively masculine & americanized style but i am literally actually legitimately obsessed with his look from his old videos i need to look exactly like him immediately like . Are you kidding me

we ended with dubioza kolektiv - USA & no escape from balkan and i kind of want to tattoo the lyrics of the second song on my body if im being honest i respect what these guys have going on

overall it was definitely the best seminar from this course and im so glad i dragged my lifeless body out of bed in the morning to attend it bc i cannot even imagine missing out on it you guys have a very wonderful culture and i loved that 80s & 90s balkan music videos literally look identical to czech mvs from that time I felt a deep sense of kinship while watching them. Long live yugoslavia ❤️

#our professor obvs had much more insightful commentary on a lot of things including the relationship between turbofolk & balkan politics #+ the most frequent key themes of the songs and how it was usually typical for the female pop stars to have a very sexualized look etc #and how the music mostly became associated with like the criminal underground etc #but i was so caught up in the euphoria of turbofolk and also so focused on remembering everything so that I could make this report #that i forgor </3 and I cannot refresh my memory on account of the presentation still not being updated #but I hope this is still fun & interesting to read……Smiles #mp

[dummerjan]

anxiety has been building up over the past couple days and it feels like it's winding itself evermore tighter around me and immobilizing me or as if i were a coil that's being stretched to its maximum capacity and about to snap i've been feeling paralyzed ever since i woke up my mind keeps circling back to things i said or did months ago but it's not just social interactions it's a general feeling of anxiety a shower hasn't helped i've tried physically shaking it off i keep making weird noises to drown out my thoughts but nothing is helping and i am this close to tears

#argh but angrily hitting the keys typing this out has helped a teeny tiny bit at least #i wanted to meet up with a friend for her lunch break in an hour and that would likely do me good because she's just nice to be around #interactions with her don't cause me anxiety and she'll likely just tell me about the guy she started dating recently #and while i won't have anything insightful to say that i can just let her talk #but my hair is still wet and i haven't eating and i am starting to feel shaky and there is so much to be done around the flat #i don't feel like i'll be ready to actually go out #i just want to scream and cry out of sheer frustration #the almost crying isn't because i am sad i am just so... idk wound tight and i can't take it anymore #i feel like i am losing my mind and i don't know what to do with myself #i just don't know where it is coming from and why now #maybe a lobotomy? #meins

[daydadahlias]

got so frustrated writing smut that i broke my keyboard while saying the words "JUST FUCK"

#this is true actually this just happened #i got my finger caught on the key and ripped it out while saying the words just fuck #insight into my life #while im thinking #i tend to put my nail under the alt key #and this time that was happening and i ripped up in agression #and popped that bb right out #insight into how i write smut

[five-wow]

danny in that one episode, confiding in steve, his best friend who is his partner and the only person he confides in: i once had a best friend who was my partner and the only person i confided in. then i inevitably fell in love with her

#sometimes i think i should clear out my drafts and then i realize how many posts are in there. but here's one! #insane. pure insanity what they did with this show. the kind of foolishly transparent parallels that make you want to shake your tv #this one is particularly bad because it's just. it's almost poetic! #by the very act of trusting steve with this story from his past. by giving steve this insight into who he is #he is making steve his confidant! he is showing and not telling us that steve is the exact type of person he is talking about! #in a less cowardly show this would have been delicious!! the tension! the pining! the way it ALMOST breaks through the surface of denial #in h50 it's still delicious but also endlessly frustrating. #a love story trapped inside a cage woven of fine threads of masculinity and homophobia. where's the key buddies where's the key #(i think gay fanfic in this metaphor is smuggling a loaf of bread with a nail file baked into it past the guards. haHA see those men run!!!) #* #mcdanno #h50

[wardenkader]

“Please don’t get bored with me.”

#dragon age #dragon age: inquisition #varric tethras #Lavellan #varric #cailen lavellan #my art #da:I #anyway self indulgent something or other for my own needs #I was reading too much romance manga this weekend and while I’ll never achieve that sort of emotional devastation #I will try dammit #anyway Cailen is low key terrified that Varric will see him as ‘boring’ #aka not worthy of attention or deeper insight #meanwhile his heart goes doki doki any time he looks at that stupid dwarf’s face

[boomermania]

I love k.ingdom h.earts h.ong l.u so much

#[ out of character ] #[ boo plays limbus ] #[ fandom: project moon ] #( you inflict depression by smacking them with a giant key ) #(his skill 1 with triple insight still counts as a single-coin skill so combine that with the rusty coin ego gift and (: )

[bahadurislam011444]

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[magnusbae]

#he's starting. why do I feel judgement.... or perhaps he's judging you for being absolutely insane and not sleeping the whole night

#and what made you stop? the fact that the pesky sun was shining so brightly through the window and hurting your tired tired eyes

I thought we were talking about happy dream and look at him #he's also pissed at you for not sleeping

#the day when you draw him happy will have to come

#also yes. you are not a night owl. you. are simply insane @mayhemspreadingguy

This comment was poetic start to finish tbh I just wanted to say that I had enjoyed it greatly 😂😂😂 I feel like I've been called out repeatedly and yet I'm left feeling flattered. 😌😌😌

#I DID NOT CONSIDER IT THAT ALL MY DREAMS ARE SAD #how odd is it? when I write it's almost always gentle and yet.... you are not wrong about the art...... he's not yet to be happy. #Huh. Reflective. #Anyways ALL of your comment was SO fun to read aahhhhhhhhhhh #but I needed to cement those key points ok XD #I appreciate the lovely words and the time you took to write <3 #mayhemspreadingguy #buns.txt #hearing people's thoughts on what i make is so reflective‚ insightful‚ fulfilling and frankly gratifying 💖💞💕💝💖💞 #I love every thought that is outside of my ruined brain #I still did not recover from yesterday HAHA. #Morpheus IS always judging me for my sleeping habits‚ this is why he never favors me with any dreams anymore.

[ardentpoop]

visited sp*n ao3 for the first time in ages remembered that i don’t respect any of u ppl 💀

#you don’t get it you don’t get it!!!! #obviously this is referring to the majority and not my precious niche from the good old days #ppl don’t understand sam or the samndean dynamic at all just like ppl don’t understand roman #I get so frustrated when the writing feels . like you’re just trying to be fucked up for the sake of it #where are ur underlying messages. where is ur vivid and raw insight into the heart of this tragically misunderstood character #im not here to get off to u making them bleed lmao im here to get off to u KNOWING THEM bloody and broken #where is ur commentary abt their relationship w/ power and consent or lack thereof. im annoying!! but its the key to #their innermost struggles!!!!! #where is the subtlety where is the nuanced analysis of the source material!!!!!!!!!! #im posting from bed again somebody stop me

[usadvlottery]

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[pepprs]

hm. i think i am going to stop going to counseling. he does not understand me. he pathologizes things that are not pathological.

#purrs #the premises of counseling / therapy are that you need to have boundaries and be self sufficient and fully healed. FUCK THAT! relationships #are not transactions. we are allowed to need each other. we are allowed to blur lines. we are human and messy. our thoughts and feelings are #PRECIOUS. im not letting go of my thoughts they mean EVERYTHING to me they are the key to the WORLD. im not letting go of redacted why on #EARTH would i stop redacteding to redacted that is HELPFUL for me. i don’t CARE about the roots. who the fuck is it hurting????? NO ONE!!!!! #the way he flat out told me he agrees with my mom. bitch im done forever. im done literaly forever. i don’t know how to tell him but im done #forever. maybe it’s just my id which is what he said to me LMFAO and like maybe i just don’t like being uncomfortable or facing hard truths. #but i don’t fucking think it’s TRUE!!!!!!!!!! yeah i need to grow yeah i have unhealthy behaviors. but i don’t need to let go of the whole #THING bc of some arbitrary transactional concept of what relationships are supposed to be / mean. ive NEVER had a counselor try to uproot th #the whole damn thing like omg what is WRONG with you. i #im paying this man $25 a week to UNDERSTAND me and not ONCE have i felt understood by him. counselors can disagree with me but i literally #never feel like he is on my side. he’s adhering to conventional ideas about what parents are supposed to be and friends are supposed to be a #and work is supposed to be etc etc. and so patronizingly said just enjoy being 23 you don’t wanna waste your 20s! FUCK YOU. i will not #regret anything even if it’s unusual. FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!! #and also i know he probably watches back thru the recordings and has like his supervisor and professors watch them too which means that #there is a whole team of scientists + my family studying me in a lab and thinking im insane and finding ways to tell me. but fucking bold of #him to assume he can give me any meaningful valuable insight when he is actively checking his laptop / phone during our sessions and rarely #if eve gives me a chance to drive MY OWN CONVERSATION THAT IM PAYING FOR and is so phony abt being on the recording. like Omg. maybe im just #grown out of it. it fucking SUCKS bc i actually have things i am not normal about and really need help with and i can’t actually get help fr #from ppl whose job it is to fucking help me bc they think im not normal about things i PROMISEEEE i am normal about. and the way i effective #effectively told him that and he responded that he can’t take that credibly bc there’s no action behind it BY WHICH HE MEANS I HAVENT #STOPPED REDACTEDING TO ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT REDACTED IN MY WHOLE LIFE? THAT I HAVENT DECIDED IM DONE LEARNING SND GROWING AND CUT IT #OFF?????? DO YOU FUCKING HEAR YOURSELF. INSANE. the ANTITHESIS of human. we are MEANT TO BE CONNECTED. FUCK!!!!!!!!! #delete later #my old counselors challenged me and disagreed with me b it i never felt like they flat out were unwilling to meet me where i am and #compromise with me. is that not what counselors are supposed to do???? or have i just had bad counselors until now??? because im NORMAL. i #swear to fucking god. im normal. im literally normal and it is not doing ANYONE harm. what is wrong with you. GOD

[j-esbian]

genuinely at the point where. i know it’s unfair. but i am angry to the point of distraction whenever i read anything, watch anything, play anything, look at anything, listen to anything. i have so many desires and not the faintest idea how to act on it. any skills i once had have degraded because i don’t have any time to do anything and i get jealous and resentful that there are people who can. or else what is wrong with me that i can’t create great art in my 1-2 hours of free time a day. why am i spending most of my life at work, i still can’t support myself, and there’s people who do less than me for more money, so they have time and energy to do things. the creative drought has gone on so long that the well has been filled in. i can’t even get off from work to refill my meds.

#i had to cancel my appointment in october so i knew it was coming and tried to taper but still #i ran out a few days ago which is probably. not helping this mindset #ppl who can go to therapy every week. who can go to the doctor. who can make art #who can exercise and make new friends and go out and have a side job #i envy you so much i want to throw up #and everyone always says the key to building a skill is practice. how are you supposed to practice when you have no ideas #THAT is the advice i’m looking for and no one seems to understand #even shit like critical analysis. everyone is so much more insightful than me #like i write poetry sometimes but i can FEEL how immature it is #and it feels like i’m just. skimming off the top of my thoughts #truly feels like something in my brain is broken and not in a brain fog way #in a blown fuse way #catch me crying in the bathroom at work for the third week in a row ✌️ #and i feel like it just makes me a drag to be around. which exacerbates all of this #i just. don’t have anything going for me. this is all i can think about #and i know it’s frustrating for other people but i just #and there’s people out there who have kids and do more than me so like #what the fuck is my problem #i would just like a break. some time to myself where i don’t have to worry about being too loud and disturbing my mother #the room to stretch my legs