#NOW its officially fall

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#i turn 27 tomorrow and i feel like my life is collapsing in around me #i officially made the decision to take the summer off. which i hate. which means i have to get a summer job #when ive only ever had jobs in academia so my resume looks insane if im applying to work in a bakery or whatever #im just so tired. everything makes me so tired and sad. i still dont kno what im gonna do #im glad my dad is here bc he gets it more than most ppl bc hes also dyslexic and like everyone assumes im fine bc ive got this far #but like at what cost? im doing a job where im set up to suffer. and for what? im doing something so niche and weird #all i can do is more academia. but what if i cant cut it? what if i would b better off getting a epa job or something where i can do my job #and then go home and stop thinking abt it. how do i apply the stupid bullshit i decided to study? i should have done Ecosystem restoration #or something. its just that my dream was to study weird things in weird places and now it feels like that dream is collapsing #which is devastating. im gonna try to come back in the fall and give it a go but like i dunno it feels so hopeless rn #im just so tired. i have no joy. i just want to lay on the floor #unrelated

[floorpancakes]

i love my weird gf so much (mabu from sarazanmai) he is so strange. weird little man

#hES SO GOOD EVERYONE MUST LOVE HIM NOW #he ate pancakes off the floor and it changed my life #i was just like ohhh hes so weird i need him #this is official art obviously i cannot draw like this #sarazanmai #hoping that everyone that likes holic falls in love with him by proxy #because he shares A LOT in common traits wise with a certain somebody #wife wife wife wife wife #thinking about my hypothesis that all dark haired glasses boys are freaks in the bedroom and how he kinda proves it right #hes so devoted to his boyfriend slash husband to the point of (SPOILER) and (SPOILER) #and the way he wants to cook for reo only to the point he gets hilariously mad and needy when other people eat his cooking is so funny #oghhh i love him sm #wife loving hours #its him...THE floor pancakes consumer

[sqlmn]

Lightning, water, and fire! Like forever before the plot starts. By the time the plot starts, the lightning and fire deities have been subjected to punishment by the two gods that picked them.

Oh (the fire deity) is first to be punished. They basically decide that since they're going to live for a long time, gotta set some long time goals! And they opt to be the wrath of the gods since most of the other deities are too 'soft' in their opinion. So Oh just. Smites humans. This isn't really a /good/ thing and in their defense mentally, they do it to help Ymber since he's the softest of them all. So their punishment by the gods is to be split in two, effectively halving the power of one into two. (Now they are in a male and a female body and use both male and female pronouns apart since they together make they but apart it feels weird to be they. But prior to the split they use they/them. Also the split bodies go by the names Ohiwe and Ohime.)

Fulj is the second to be punished. She falls in love with a mortal woman and that is a crime according to the gods. Mortals and immortals are not to be together and it will only bring suffering to both sides. So her punishment is her memories of the woman are stripped and her body basically broken to the point she can't remain physical all the time.

Ymber, unfortunately, is the one who blames himself for the discoveries and punishments. If he had only tried to restrain Oh more then maybe they would have chilled out and stopped before being punished. If he had only tried to persuade Fulj to not continue seeing the mortal woman so often perhaps she wouldn't have been punished. So he's just increasing the guilt on his shoulders every day that he remains unpunished since the elder gods have both laid down to rest. They can't enforce their laws anymore and none of the deities are keen on harming one another at this point. They just want to continue existing in peace.

#the daily life of a deity sucks #and then ymber falls in love with a human and is like welp this sucks and i understand fulj now #i also would have accepted the punishment for this #and fulj doesnt even remember the woman she was punished for and doesnt remember how she was before #so she is like hey ymber please just go and kiss the weird human i dont even like him but youre being mean by not kissing him #and ymber is just having the worst time of his life being encouraged by someone who used to be so happy #who he also encouraged to be happy once upon a time #also ohiwe and ohime pop up in the water city to bully ymber sometimes but its still in the way of #dude we like you please grow a spine its been a thousand years please grow a backbone and tell us to piss off #and he never tells them to piss off #also fulj has a long braid here but you cant really see it #and she loves to braid ymbers hair and he gets to braid hers when shes giggling and chatting about love #and a short while after the punishment fulj chops the braid off and ymber is like welp my friend is officially gone #and then he cuts his own hair and leaves to go develop his city alone in seclusion #and he sometimes just cuts it really short because hes still sad and soggy and thinks of fulj braiding his hair #and then she shows up one day when hes debating how long its getting and she smiles #and tells him he looks good with longer hair #so he kinda keeps it a messy short then it gets to be medium and he decides he can survive with medium but he couldnt do long again #but once again fulj is the reason for his life choices (and guilt) #also before anyone asks yes all the deities have a collar #its very important actually that they are collared its lore information thanks #and for what it matters - after oh is split both forms are just as tall #theres just two of them at half power but they are both tall

[merrysithmas]

i really like reading your thoughts on "girl"! i was just wondering what you think might happen after paul passes? do you think people will start to examine the relationship between them as something more than just songwriting partners? i mean nothing really changed when yoko said john was bisexual (and some fans still don't believe it!). in my wildest dreams, paul's estate will drop a posthumous tell all book and we'll be left with so many questions lol.    

John himself said he was queer several times - I remember watching an interview with him when he was saying being an artist in a capitalist world requires money and that if he wasn't famous he'd need to have married "a rich old lady or man" to be a songwriter.

He also said he hooked up with Brian in Spain (Yoko confirmed he told the press they did "do it" and she was seemingly applauding his bravery in saying so).

Lennon remarked that he was "afraid of the fag in him" which made him act on his anger and set off his worst most fearsome temper explosions.

Also I think there was a few "tell alls" where past friends reported that he was open about his queerness & confirmed hooking up with Brian in frustration.

May Pang wrote that he told her he considered (lol) an affair with Paul. He spent two years in gay clubs in LA.

Yoko also confirmed he was bi (as far she she knew, maybe later on had he not been murdered he'd have identified as gay or pan).

Elton John said he and Lennon did "naughty" things together and laughed about said things with Sean, his godson. Julian Lennon did an interview where he said he "agreed" that John and Paul were in love during the Get Back film period.

Lennon also contributed a first-person poem the First Gay Liberation book.

Those are just the examples I can think of off the top of my head. He also seems to have had a relationship of some kind with Stu (conjecture) and an obvious-departed-from-platonic dynamic with Paul which is easily, easily an emotionally romantic affair at least (which isn't the half of it).

Anyone who denies his queerness does a great disservice to his memory & the incredible poignancy of his songs in this context during his time period. Artists have been reworking the lyrics and wording of their queer songs to appeal to an unaccepting general audience for commerciality FOREVER and to assume this was not done by Lennon, who is "confirmed" queer (if you needed to hear it from Yoko for it to be true to you) is truly delusion.

I think after Paul has left us people will feel more comfortable analyzing their relationship in a queer sense and I do think at some point it has likely been engineered that something to that effect will be officially announced or endorsed in some regard by their Estates (to generate continued moneymaking lol and interest and enigma). I feel like that's something that could happen, reasonably, after Yoko is gone and her hold on the Lennon narrative is diluted into Sean's POV & the McCartney family has the freedom to speculate or give their personal feelings on the life of their beloved father in retrospect. There's also the chance Paul could say something or leave something to that effect before he leaves us.

I feel like Paul would never say anything otherwise because John never got to endorse any release of their personal history before his tragic and senseless murder in a time period where being gay was still treated with such bigotry and cruelty (the 80s). I feel like Paul's great respect for Jane Asher and their relationship is a testament to this because he has never spoken about their relationship out of respect for her - for the exact reason that she has never spoke publically about it herself.

Paul is a pragmatic and private person and I feel like he knows the majority of the ignorant world isn't ready to hear the biggest band in human history was founded on teenaged homoromantic affection/gay love. But maybe one day, it will be.

This is speculation on my part but Paul also probably doesn't want Yoko to know anything because either she is willfully ignorant or John truly wasn't honest with her and Paul feels it's something she doesn't deserve to know - especially if it's something John kept private & only between he and Paul. It's something he always has that's over and beyond what Yoko and John had & he seems to treasure those specific things no matter what they are. Obviously... Paul still doesn't care for Yoko and he is probably extremely fatigued of the fact that she has been the managing agent & author of John's estate for 40 years (when in the late 70s she and John seemed on unsteady terms as per other parties) and then treated Julian with such disregard. Sean on the other hand seems to have grown to love Paul, but we'll see lol.

I also feel like Paul probably has a few "surprises" for Beatles fans lined up for after he and Ringo are gone - he just seems like that kind of person and wants the Beatles to continue on in great esteem for many many years to come.

thank you for your ask!!

#john lennon #ask #anon #mclennon #may the straights perish and all their false gods fall amen #guess im officially a mclennon-er now with this ask #but also i have been forever #and its my duty to give light to the dead gays of the world #as both a medium and a living gay lol #i salute u all 🫡🫡

[thecryptidart1st]

Mike x Pumpkin Spice Latte 4Ever

#fnaf #five nights at freddy's #michael afton #mike schmidt #happy 20th anniversary pumpkin spice latte #its officially fall now lol #just imagining doug watching mike in disgust as he sloppily makes out with his coffee #sammy watching his husband deep throat his coffee #sloppy makeouts #sketchbook doodles

[jvzebel-x]

🦋

#the heater is fixed. #the poi isnt perfect but there is A Lot of it&its making eating... easier. so much easier. ppl give poi to their babies #bc its so easy to eat+digest&its also calorically dense&super filling. #&now i have some again. i have been missing home... so much. so very very much recently. &this is... enough. more than enough right now. #im going on an adventure tomorrow. i have a phone that can actually take decent pictures+videos. #i havent done a gratitude journal post in a long time. too long really. #but i am almost in tears right now over how grateful i am. #i am just... so incredibly grateful. #i spent a lot of today in a near constant state of panic for no special reason at fucking all. #&its incredible to be. calm right now. to feel safe. to know that everything that is constantly stressing me out hasnt disappeared #but its okay bc life isnt falling apart around me right now. i have actual time to untangle it all. #i realized earlier that this is officially the longest ive lived in one place since i was. 10? maybe? we could never keep a (rental) house. #how fucking wild is that? #im just. very very very grateful to be alive. #'i have so much more to tell you about being alive'.

[sonknuxadow]

WAIT TRIP SONICSUPERSTARS IS A GIRL ??? epic win

#her gender was confirmed on the character profiles on the sonic superstars website btw #ive been using they/them for her since there was no official statement on her gender until now #but ngl i was expecting for her to be a guy #im actually really happy about this because i wanted more weird little girls as well as more female antagonists #and trip seems to fall into both of those categories #and also her design isnt traditionally feminine at all which i like #not that theres anything wrong with designs like that but most girl sonic characters at least in the games wear dresses or skirts #or have pink or purple as a prominent color in their design #so its just nice to see a design that doesnt fall into that pattern

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

oh my god everything makes sense now

#ive had so much troubke sleeping for the last like. 3 weeks. like i havent been getting more than 4 hrs of sleep most nights #and its SUCKED so bad and ive had the worst dreams ever like #its either mind empty blank 0 dreams whatsoever (<< which ive learned also sucks! feels bad and empty in the morning) #or like..trauma nightmares. like im back in high school type nightmares. and a few work stress dreams sprinked in for flavor #lkke this has been. An Issue. #I JUST FIGURED OUT WHY. AND I FEEL SO STUPID #ITS BECAUSE I DONT HAVE LOKI LIVING WITH ME ANYMORE. #im at my parents house for the weekend and . got here at like 8pm last night. #laid on the couch. loki jumped up on thr couch with me to cuddle #and ive always said hes so good at this bc hes warm and he lays on top of me so hes like a weighted blanket #and i cant move my arms to look at my phone or anything so its SO easy to fall asleep w loki cuddles #AT 9PM I FELL ASLEEP. i havent gone to sleep before midnight in like 2 months. #and when i had 2 get up to move to the guest bed he followed me. #and i just woke up from a nightmare and he was on the other side of the bed so i reached my hand out 2 pet him #and he laid his little chin on my hand and oh my god everything makes so much sense now. #ive always kind of half joked abt loki being an esa. because im like. he is. but not officially #hes never been trained for it and we dont have like. documentation for it bc ive never been officially diagnosed for anything (hell world) #so i feel bad calling him that bc it feels like im. disrespecting people that Actually Need esas #(<< coming from.a guy who Actually Needs An ESA Apparently.) what the fuck #head in hands. everything makes so much sense now #and normally id go all science brain on this like oh it was just one night iwas probably just too tired i need more evidence to be sure #but like. i have loterally not slept this well in a month and a half. #I have not gonento sleep before midnight in AT.LEAST the last two weeks. CONSISTENTLY . #head in habds.

[poptartmochi]

oh i finally realized why the agathos are 💢💢💢 towards vergil 🤏🏻🕶️😳

#besides the whole wanting to go to hell thing being counter to their own beliefs and morals #because you know i think. given the context of being a Son of Sparda. there's an obvious and logical desire to know your father better #so i think the agathos Could empathize would that. many of them probably Would empathize with that! #so that overall argument falls flat bc the agathos Overall dislike vergil. why would All of Them go 😒😒 at him? #well it finally clicked :] if you sacrifice your right to peaceful eternal slumber to confine One Fucking Guy in time prison forever #and dumb people keep showing up to your time prison because the One Fucking Guy was notorious for hoarding secret knowledge #and these people keep getting killed in pursuit of evil knowledge + thus fueling the One Fucking Guy's ability to some day break the chains #of the time prison and invoke calamity yet again. Well! wouldn't it be quite frankly Alarming #if some dude with MegaBlood™️ that everyone can smell from a mile away waltzed in... get this!! ALSO in search of the evil knowledges #thus kind of threatening at its very core the exact thing you sacrificed your human soul and afterlife to.. #and despite your big red warning signs to LEAVE he just pushes further and further into your time prison and closer + closer to The One #Fucking Guy.. it's one thing for his travelling buddy to do that bc whatever 🙄 she's just a human after all. it will take like 400 more of #her to break the time prison.. but this one guy is like.. 500 of her in one convenient little package! fucked up!! #there is some vergil apologism amongst the agathos but overall they're like 😑😑😑 *skyrim guard voice* NEVER should've come here!!!! 💢 #i imagine a lot of them are like girl why would you want to go BACK to hell??? your dad ABANDONED that place!! 😭😭 0/10 reviews on Yelp!! #also we will Not Address the growing vampiric themes in the fprsq.. 😶 it is not my fault that arkham's little ritual relied so heavily on #blood and i based Many Things off that ritual! 🤧🤧😝 #sriracha.txt #fprsq #that is her official tag now ☺️ gioia deserves her own tag after all :]

[phoelipop]

Happy Autumn!!! 🍂🍁🍂🍁🍂 (Old thing from 2019 with new-Kumi touch ups hehe)

#my art #doodles #comic #(i guess) #too dumb for art blob for sure lol #but yay now its officially fall!!! 🍂 #skullcandy

[bf-xml]

🎤 Look he’s pogging lol

🎤 I wonder what he’s missed...maybe the tags will give a hint or two.

(That means read the tags teehee thank you)

#ooc: salutations everyone! I guess I owe everyone an explanation #i apologize for my absence again. i promise im okay and i have been safe and sound #my excuse isnt exactly...valid id say but #work has been kicking my ass since i got the job #not to mention my days off are constantly filled up with tasks to catch up on Adulting and such #and when im not doing Adulting things.......ive been playing splatoon 3 tbh lmao #hopefully ill get the muse to play bf again soon. but as far as an expected time for that goes i unfortunately have nothing to offer #i hope everyone here has been doing okay in the meantime and i hope to see you soon #with that being said...what do you think of the new icon? its not much of a difference but im still kinda proud of it. even if its old now #anyway. i love you guys and i look forward to any threads in the future when i get the time and motivation to start them up again #on that note. please be aware that i am officially dropping any threads i had started or participated in before now #i apologize for this...but its hard to get back into old threads when i dont remember where i was going with them yknow? #if anyone is interested in my writing in general ive been working on a strangled red fic on ao3 #ive been falling back into my old pokepasta hyperfixation after lullaby v2 dropped and was reminded of my favorite little fucked up guy #its called faulty if anyone else here is a based steven enjoyer. and mike too ig #but enough out of me...ive been talking too much lol #until next time! catch ya later!

[pepprs]

the renovation starts tmrrw (LOL) and i woke up from a dream abt it crying. awesome

#today is our last day having a deck and i genuinely feel sick to my stomach over it. ik it’s just a piece of wood and it’s falling apart but #omg like… o ur house is about to not be our house anymore. like the deck is where me and my siblings played w our best friends it’s where i #paced back and forth to get fresh air so many times ater losing my shit during lockdown and it’s literally about to be gone…. forever? ok!!! #and then the kitchen is going to go and im going to lose it genuinely. like this house is shitty and rotting and falling apart and its great #that we are getting a renovation finally but jesus christ i have lived here all my life and yeah i hate the kitchen but it’s home and you’re #just gonna tear it down and make jt 3x bigger like it’s nothing??? ok 😂😂😂😂😂😂 #purrs #literally im getting war flashbacks to losing the van which was never gonna drive again but it was my SPACE for all of lockdown and #it got fucking junked after being my sanctuary (as unpleasant as it was) for like 2 years not to mention OUR CAR that we did everything in a #and now we have my grandparents car and there isn’t a backseat so i don’t get room to breathe when they drive. and also my grandparents #house has officially been demolished to make way for a fucking mansion and the near total renovation of my high school is almost done which #means the classroom where i became a human being is gone and the office is going to get destroyed too when that renovation happens and we’ll #have to go make a home somewhere else. i know this kind of thing happens but it makes me want to start screaming. like yeah these #renovations will make life better for everyone (except the fucking mansion it’s bc my grandparents died and the developers are selfish and #cruel lol!!!!!) but the way so many of the spaces that have been important to me keep ending up getting destroyed after im done w them. it’s #comforting in a way bc it’s like oh no one else gets to have it be important but also no that ISNT comforting i want those spaces to keep #being sacred i want them to mean something to other people and i want to be able to go back and soak in the memories again. and everyone is #mad at me for freaking out the renovation but it’s like ok you come into our living space you destroy core parts of my childhood and also #create a situation where we literally can’t like eat or cook anything in the house for months like idk what we’re gonna do bc we don’t go #anywhere bc of covid except work for me and school for my brother so. idk. this whole thing SUCKS. i can’t believe it’s starting tomorrow #and i can’t believe the deck is about to be gone. pain and suffering and pain and suffering and pain and suffering.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#ok so like this is fine bc im not in a horrible mood rn. this is more i feel like complaining bc what im doing is kinda ridiculous #but my memory is so bad that ill probably forget if i dont write it out. but basically 4 days a week i have to come in starting at 7.30 to #water and prep for measurements. then from 9am to 6.15pm i have to nonstop take the measurements. and theyre timed so that means #i get abt 4 min to do anything before i have to take another measurement. which is abt enough time to start to focus and then have to stop #which is very fucking frustrating. and i have to manage data. coordinate for this fucking paper. and keep track of like 10 other things for #work stuff. which means that it takes me like and hour to send easy emails and they come out all fucked uo bc my brain is so shot #but on top of that i also have to fucking do the steps to get set up for my new school in the fall. and like ive officially accepted the #offer but havent talked to my new advisor since then so now theres this weird gap where im like. uh fuck do i ask for wtf im supposed to #do? bc ive been able to do things for like 2 or 3 weeks but then my life started collapsing in around me. and like there r probably #instructions somewhere but i cant fucking read lol. whatever. hes nice i just need to find the energy and words to email him and b like lol #srry everythings been insane. but bc ive waited so long i have to compulsively keep going back to check that ive been accepted like somehow #that would change while im not looking. ugh. and ive also fucked myself over housing wise bc theres a housing shortage in the city and huge #demand of housing on camus so theres a wait list for everything but i cant fucking apply bc i cant get my id to work. and fucking idk who #to call or email abt that. but idk i might have to have roomates for a semester. or my parents offered to give me some extra money for an #apartment until i can get one that doesnt put me in the red on a grad student budget. ugh. i dont wanna do either of those things #but christ do i not want roommates. ill figure something out. its just annoying and difficult from so far away #and it makes me kinda sad bc ppl r like: r u excited?! and im like. i cant really think abt that. partly bc im constanly putting out fires #in the present so theres not really space for it. partly bc i dont allow myself to b excited abt things so as not to get my hopes up. #but just after i accepted i was excited. and now it feels like im reaching my hand out toward a floating light just out of reach. like #its a nice idea but i wont believe until it happens. but that just bc ive become distorted about things #and i dont even get a weekend bc the 4 days of measurement r friday to Monday and i cant fucking relax on weekdays bc ppl r like hey can u #do this??? and there r things i can only do on weekdays so its like ok i guess ill just suffer forever thrn. and my boss texts me like: hey #did u do X? and am like: uuuuuh i fucking dont kno what day it is anymore. i dont understand y we have to meet. lets just not talk bc im #afraid ill say something worrying. so yea its pretty fucked up rn. but this stuff ends on the 24th #then ill probably not take a break and fucking finish the measurements for another project bc i just really need it to b done. i need it #all to b done so i can fucking wash my hands of this and fucking quit and move away at the start of july... or August if i decide i hate #myself that much. ugh. at least the lab has been pretty empty so no ones seen me crying lol #also thr fucking rutgers guy emailed me yesterday like: hey u want this position? and im like bitch u r like a month too late also im in #my cringe fail era. i would not survive at ur school. ugh everything is terrible. 2 or 3 more months then i csn leave this place forever #unrelated

[viir-tanadhal]

it's going to be interesting hearing the Lost ep because the songs were all written in that same Super/Hotspot songwriting period where a lot of songs that appear on Super and on Hotspot were first put down. mainly it's just going to be interesting thinking about why they didn't end up on Super or Hotspot and why they weren't b-sides either

#i will fall sounds like (at least from the little theyve said about it) it couldve worked for hotspot... #same with kaputnik i feel like that couldve worked for hotspot maybe too #and then the lost room they teased couldve been a b-side but now its officially releasing with this ep... #its just an interesting songwriting period in how stuff got divided up between the two albums #what got saved for hotspot etc etc

[bmpmp3]

ive slowly started physically collecting manga i really like recently and its in large part because i like to reread certain series often and having them nearby is handy and like, theres a lot of things people warn you about when collecting manga (or anything really, the usual suspects is like: how are you gonna store all these 10 volume series, watch out for overpriced used copies, etc) but Nobody warned me about the PAIN and SUFFERING of Wanting to Collect a series that has no official localization. screaming crying throwing up etc

#falls to my knees #LOCALIZE HIMITSU THE TOP SECRET #punches the ground #LOCALIZE AH ITOSHI NO BANCHOU SAMAAAA #grabs you by the shoulders and shakes IM BEGGING YOU IM BEGGING PLEASE LOCALIZE FABINIKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU #sobbing screaming wailing #Localize........kotou buchou...... #<- most recent reason im being wacky about not having my funny little comic books #this would be less of an issue if i could read japanese but that is alas. still. a work in progress RIP #(also rn shipping from japan is a little hashtag rough on the hastag wallet for canadians HFJDLKJFKD books usually arent too bad tho) #well its a race now. which will be first. will i learn japanese first or will an official translation come first #the future is a mystery #dies in your arms

[autism-corner]

omg im so excited....

#RIN MY BELOVED. #her falling figure just got send to me from the seller!!! YIPPEEE #augh i am SOSO happy hehehehe #back when i first saw the listing id let myself buy it if it was still listed after a week bc its kinda more expensive than big. #still reasonable but. yaknow. #anyway i though it was sold to someone but ig not bc a few days ago i saw the listing again YAY #AND NOW SHES ON HER WAY TO ME!!!! #YAYYYAYAYYA #anyway i still have the highest bid on her project diva arcade figure but the seller hasnt confirmed my win yet Y-Y #which is fair its been like 2 days. but PLEASE just let me have her already Y-Y #augh...... #sillyposting #i have officially retired my 14th anni miku figure aswell bc she broke Y-Y #she is now unceremoniously stuffed in het box =w=bb #she had a good run <3 #o7