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spacegoathours · 1 year

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Hello! I'm a bit of a new follower of yours, but I've fallen in love with your account: the art, the ocs, speculation, and the friendly asks/responses! I'm an Invader Zim lover, of course, but I only really know the show (a little) and the movie (I have a poster!). I've never even seen the comics.

Anyway, would you like to use this ask to infodump a bit about the stuff that you can't exactly find in the movie/show? I'm a bit foggy about things like Vort and stuff!

I suppose I could google it, and spend a couple hours on old wiki pages, but I feel like this is a more fun way to learn (and interact with the fandom), hopefully for both of us!

Thanks! :) (And hopefully this hasn't been asked yet, haha. I won't be hurt if you leave this ask in the inbox! I know running accounts can be a bit exhausting!)

hello!! this is so sweet, thank you! i’m glad you’re enjoying my blog, i pour a lot of love into it. :)

gotta admit tho, i haven’t read the comics either!! read a few but never committed to finishing them all…someday!!! though my understanding is that there isn’t a spectacular amount of lore in them, they kinda do their own thing, but i don’t want to speak without knowing for sure. there might be PAK lore in there? and Zib came out of the comics, which is a fairly popular character in the fandom. (I might have this wrong because I haven’t read but…Zib is the result of Dib winning in one of many timelines, Zim’s PAK attaches to the back of his head and he goes insane…?)

UGH I COULD TALK ABOUT VORT FOREVER AND NEVER GET BORED!! the Irken/Vortian alliance is fascinating, and canonically we only get bits and pieces that the fandom has taken and ran with. we know that at some point they were allied, and that the building/planning of the Massive (Irken Armada flagship) occurred on Vort. we know that Vort was marked for conquest in Operation Impending Doom II and was successful taken over by Invader Larb. we know that it’s now a military research prison and that the Vortians were enslaved.

what we DON’T know but can assume: the alliance ended because the Vortians were blamed for Tallest Miyuki’s death - being eaten by an energy-consuming blob made by Zim. this is hard to determine because i mean. a bunch of people were there. Zim was boasting about it. bruh. but Irkens are dumb, actually everyone is dumb in this show. but we all have brainrot here and we take things too far and we love it. anyway. we don’t get to see a lot of Vortians so how many are enslaved? how many died in the organic sweep? how did Lard Nar escape and start the Resisty (speculation from Frycook explains some technology that helped some Vortians escape prison but again that’s assumption)? what does Vort even look like? we may have gotten more had the series not been cancelled before shit got real but!!! alas…..

not knowing the exact extent of your current IZ knowledge, I might have just spoken in a totally different language LOL. but thank you for letting me infodump!! my brain doesn’t work well for remembering details or speculating very deep, so I often end up repeating myself, but it’s fun nonetheless. I appreciate you 💜✨

#asks

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corpsoir · 2 years

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hello! so I don’t really know how to word this in a non word vomit kind of way so my apologies ahead of time! One of my further questions about art especially digital art is finding a nice in between style of realism & “cartoony.” I personally struggle with the realism kind of art somethin about drawing real people is extremely difficult for me, I don’t want to draw them like fully real like but I do think my art could improve if I figured it out. Do you have any tips or recommendations to help with finding this? My other question is a bit more into coloring, i think I’m getting a little better at it but I’m still a tad confused on things like shading how to do lighting all that extra stuff people add when it’s not just flat color. Hopefully I make sense? I’ve been watching videos on digital painting & it’s helping but sometimes the ones I watch kinda go over my head & I was wondering you had any other tips/tricks or could dumb it down for me. Please & thank you sm again I really appreciate your help 💘

yeah sure i have lots of tips and thoughts im sure other people might find useful or fun to read as well!

i just wanna preface this by saying this is how just i do things and by no means am i saying im doing it "right" or that there even is a right way to do art. have fun! art is just a by-product of being human, nobody can do art more correctly or better than anyone else, its just art, its like breathing!

the best tip i can give to anyone looking to improve their art, especially when it comes to drawing people and light and shade, is taking a real life figure drawing class!

i know it can be expensive depending on where you live etc but if you ever get the opportunity, DO IT! its seriously so valuable especially if you have a teacher who is good at explaining 1) how to think when youre drawing and 2) can point you in the right direction and give you tips personally according to your abilities

when it comes to balancing realism and a more stylised cartoony style the best thing here is also to learn how the real human body works and looks. and again a figure drawing class can help here but so does looking at pictures, looking at your own body and how it moves and how light plays on your skin etc! i think in order to stylise something its always helpful to have that background knowledge of how something looks like in real life, that way you can sort of abstract the thing youre drawing and simplify it with simple shapes. i think one of my favourite examples for this that a lot of people struggle with is hands. people tend to want to draw every single finger in detail, and sometimes that can look a little bit stiff. heres a bunch of hands ive scribbled lately, notice how theyre all just. idk. shapes? especially the little negative spaces that trick you into seeing a finger when in reality its just a blob with a hole through it.

you read them as hands but theyre really just. blobs mostly.

there are tons of books on anatomy for artists as well and those might help! i dont have any tips there though, most of my knowledge on the human form is from figure drawing and looking at my own body and stuff :))

and COLOURS! so i always work with a limited palette for my art. instead of going in and picking new colours all the time and ending up with an inconsistent muddy mess like i used to, i have made a nice palette with colours i enjoy and that go together well.

lots of reds and browns and purples here, but thats just my personal preference for how i work with colours lol

and im gonna be really annoying with this but when it comes to shading things "right" this is something you gotta practice practice and practice, by looking at real world examples and trying to replicate it on paper (or digitally i guess). i still have a lot to learn, i struggle with light and shade still too and its fine, its a learning process!

but anyways this is how i usually do the light in my art, and i think this piece is the best example because its a very bright light source and stuff

excuse my handwriting lol my thinking when it comes to light is just. im trying to think about what im drawing as a 3d object, so in my head i try to visualise for example how the light will fall on their weird hair shapes and their skin and clothes.

oh and also i just found a compilation of a bunch of videos by an artist who is really good at explaining a lot of stuff i do too! its REALLY long but she's got so many good tips on how to think about art and its really helped me a lot since i stumbled upon them. shes also really great at explaining colour theory in a way that made it so much easier for me!

youtube

hope this helps at least a little bit lol im not a good teacher sorry!!

#sorry if this is just a jumbled mess im hungover and tired lol jgkhldfgd #colour theory #art tips #ask

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djmarinizelablog · 3 years

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Levihan, Fluff 11? Please, again? Lol

#11.) Levihan, Fluff: “I know it’s 2 in the morning but do you want to…” I think I was drunk when I wrote this draft, so, uhm, my apologies.

Summary: Levi is dead, dead, dead, and he is very, very confused. Crack fic, beware.

Rating: M

Only the Good Stories Remain

Levi thinks he’s a goner; his butt has been kicked by that stupid monkey because Zeke—fucking—Yeager pulled the pin of the thunderspear. Waiting sure makes revenge more satisfying. He wants to say, “A shithead like you has no one on your side.” He wants to chop him up with the Executioner from Hell and feed him to the dogs of Marley. Like bad boys with their bad toys, because sticks and stones may break his bones but whips and chains excite him. Zackley is in the corner, using his torture device on Pixis and Nile. Once he’s done, the Prime Commander sets them all on fire, and Levi thinks this is okay. Hands off, Chief. If Zackley ever touches his face, Levi’s gonna break his bones. He almost had it all, but what they gave him was his angst. He is just the right kind of lost, like a sour, wrinkly grape waiting to rot. It’s him, a painful death, and all the heroic stories in between. But heroism is also a deadly flaw. Like hubris or vanity or snorting soap suds to calm him down. That’s why he thinks he should do away with it. There is something wrong about him so he looks down and sees himself naked. His nose twitches. Somebody comes up to him and grunts, “Fancy, huh?” He glances to the side and sees Farlan and Isabel. They’re cleaning and scrubbing every inch of him. “The fuck you’re doing?” Isabel laughs and splashes an entire bucket of tea onto him, upset that he’s held it the wrong way all these years. He stares down the cup and sees his reflection: it’s a sad blob of smoke and blood. The handle is more fragile than his ego. Behind him, his horse is whinnying; it’s wild and free and the next thing it does is a somersault in the air with his ODM gear. It spins in the air, just like what he does when he’s slashing at Titans in full rage. And then the horse transforms into Erwin without notice. There's no mistaking that blond hair, blue eyes and eyebrows thick as worms. “Erwin, what the hell?” The Commander is running to him with a huge pastry the size of his thigh. “I’m here to keep you high.” He turns around and sees Erwin covered in cream and chocolate. “Surprise, I’m the pastry.” Levi is disgusted and his face does not hide it. But he still wants to bite it even though he might choke on that. It probably tastes like wild berries and bratwurst. Or beef jerky. And all that Levi does is imagine. Pretend he’s not a 30-year-old man who hangs out with teenagers because all his friends are dead. It’s like when they say the history is written by the winners—stories don’t grow in Paradis; they come out of Marley’s ass. Put that on loop and you’ll get a new season. Out of nowhere, Mike keeps on sniffing him; he doesn’t know why but he knows he smells of grapefruit and mint. The next thing he knows is Mike sneezing like it’s the end of the world. He keeps wheezing until Wall Maria falls once again, and then it topples over Sina and Rose. “Oh my god,” Sina blurts out from the afterlife. “Did you mean goddesses?” Rose flips her hair and winks. Oh my us, indeed. Next to him, Nanaba is laughing out loud. She’s a blonde version of Levi, but her hair makes her look like a banana. Maybe that’s why her name is like that. He believes blondies on board do the trick; they’ve all developed a kink for napes. It’s an awkward question if he asks her to confirm that. But he’s waiting for secrets to come out. Blondies should die their hair a different color so people don’t think they’re dumb. And now Levi’s tired because all of his rabid fangirls are trying to ship him with anyone and everyone; he doesn't have enough holes for that. He wants to strangle them all with his cravat. But nobody really dies a virgin because life fucks them all. He’d rather break their bones because they have 213 of those. Nothing here makes sense, he says, seeing Kenny and Kuchel run around chasing knives. His mother is angry at Kenny for raising Levi like a homeless rabbit. So she skins her own brother alive with a backhand grip. And now they’re even, his Ackerman clan. Maybe it’s all about riding out the pain. Or just getting high. It’s a shit show. “Heya, midget!

Shit happens, right?” Kenny spits out the apple seeds from his mouth. “Don’t listen to him, baby.” His mother puts a finger on her lips, but Levi says, "I'm not a baby anymore." He might be growing old but he refuses to grow up and the dead just keep popping out of the dark like daisies. Lynne and Henning are beside Gelgar chugging mugs and mugs of beer. Bizarre and off the wall. He’s mad because nobody gave him an invitation to drink. And now the drinks are on him. Somebody’s throwing up in the back, it might be Kenny or his mother. But it’s actually Sasha, who choked on an entire potato because it wouldn’t fit inside her mouth. She throws up and all kinds of titans come out of her mouth. But they don’t eat anyone; instead they just crawl to the ground with their faces flat in the mud like Rod Reiss did. Even Rod Reiss says hi but Levi doesn’t give a shit. He can keep his face down in shit for all he cares. It’s like dreaming that he’s Historia and Eren is the person who got her pregnant. There’s too much riding and moaning for horny kids and he’s only got sore joints and eyebags from being a veteran. Petra is spanking Oluo for imitating him again. Watch her back; it might break again. The girl acts like a wife to this copycat avocado. Everything is like fish sauce and gin; they don’t make sauce but you still want to hear about it. Gunther is doing bondage with the harnesses, and it excites him, but now he doesn’t know how to free himself from it. “O Captain, My Captain,” Eld says, as if he’s reciting some lines out of a play or a poem. But that does not stop him because Levi cannot appreciate art. He thinks art is for fuckers who think they’ve achieved something good in life. Why be normal when he can be fab? He’d rather be something than nothing. Erwin’s voice is booming. “Do you believe in it?” His bolo tie is slipping. “Do you, do you, do you?” Erwin’s voice keeps repeating: do you, do you, do you, do you, until Levi himself finally has had enough and says, “Fuck this, get out of my head.”

“...Levi?”

Hange is looking at him. There’s no one else around. It’s just them, a bonfire, a tent, splintered wood, and a cart of supplies in the forest, and he’s fucking naked and there are bandages around his face.

Oh, and his fingers are missing.

“We’re all good here, right?”

Hange nods, slowly. “I know it’s 2 in the morning but do you want to…”

“What?”

“...Maybe rest some more?” Hange puts their hands on his shoulders and gently pushes him down the mat.

It’s like camping. In the midst of war. And they’re out here, roasting marshmallows with his hand that has two less fingers. But he’ll be fine, who knows?

Then the cart explodes right behind them.

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zirkkun · 3 years

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Yo you have every right to be upset about things! You're still a person with your own feelings and deserve to be treated kindly. No one should come at you for making things you enjoy or for misunderstandings. I hope things get better for you even if I wasn't here for when all the drama happened (or maybe I was and just wasn't aware of it? I tend to avoid drama as much as possible tbh)

I didn't really post about it much. I think I answered about 4 asks about it (three of them in the same post because i was sure it was the same anon due to the similar string of seemingly continued messages) and the rest I just deleted as soon as they came in, but I got... A lot. A lot of mean things said too. Kinda hurts when you wanted to make something because you knew this work was highly criticized and wanted to let people give it a second chance only to be shot down by the people you were hoping to defend lol

In short, and a lot of it I missed because I was blocked by a lot of people so my friend sent me screencaps; someone took I believe only the old ask box post I had for ULR, which at the time was called "Underlust Rewrite," and was disgusted at the fact that everything was revamped and "made for kids" (because it's not 18+ explicit content, but as I've said before, it's just cause I'm too scared to be horny on main, and I've literally made a whole different biological system for ULR so I can write the necessary story ""sex scenes"" without it being human-like sex or otherwise uncomfortable or too explicit for me to draw, but I still consider it a mature story overall), so they blocked me instantly here and on twitter and then made a callout post on twitter itself. People were telling me originally to stop calling the AU Underlust, and I didn't really get it at first, because like, what's the difference between my spinoff and, say, Underlust Gold, Swapfell Indigo, TS!Underswap, you know, names that have add-ons from the original title to differentiate it but still connect it to the source. So that's what I said, as well as if I removed the Underlust name, it would be considered stealing to me, because I'd be disconnecting it from the source. But apparently, instead, what had been the concern was that it was just being called "Underlust" and the "Rewrite" aspect was implying I was replacing the original story, which like, had never been my intention and I've made a bunch of things with both the ULR and UL cast together and love the idea of Lust and Ace meeting up and just being a disaster duo of not working together at all. I just adore Underlust like it's in my pinned FAQ, Lust's been in my banner for months now, and he's practically my staple pfp character on every account but here atm.

It took like 3 days for it to actually click what was going on, because once I finally got the chance to have a conversation with someone where they weren't telling me I was the scum of the Earth -- which, honestly, bless the three people I talked to, they were so sweet (which actually included someone from the Japanese side of the fandom whose art I loved too... yeah it got pretty far. Once I sent them a message though it was cleared up quickly and they did post a clarification post about ULR and me, so that was nice to see.) -- I finally got the chance to realize that this was a misunderstanding from the beginning, from both sides, where people coming at me were saying I was doing all of the stuff above and probably more but those stuck the most, while I was confused as to where this information and accusations were coming from and what they were referring to in the first place. They probably never explained it in the anon asks because, well, they probably assumed I knew what I was doing, but when they came at me about something I didn't do with vague context of something I did do, I was very confused, and got really defensive really quickly, and really honestly snapped pretty hard. After my first initial explanation post and people were still trying to tell me to stop ULR/don't call it Underlust/whatever else there was, I just got tired and told people to block me if they didn't like it. But that didn't really stop anyone and honestly made it worse because that's when I started getting really nasty messages. I like... Specifically remember one where someone called me a lowlife and a thief, and that one stuck the most, but I tended to not read through them before deleting them for my own sanity. I actually did this to one of the people who'd later talked to me calmly about it at first too, because I had just woken up, and really didn't want to read an essay lecture on everything everyone's been telling me at the crack of 7am when I was borderline ready to delete my account and start over lol

Some people I do remember were accusing me of trying to censor nsfw content or erase it as well because ULR isn't 18+, and I'm out here on my horny ass like "wh. What are they talking about, where did you get that idea, have you SEEN my ao3 recommended list," /j but in all seriousness I really didn't understand that accusation at all because I've never been against nsfw content in the slightest and lowkey? This is very dumb -- but like, you know how they say when you get hate mail, you know you've made it? Well, for me, my thought has always been, "When there's 18+ fancontent of my OC's, I'll have finally made it." This is... Not a joke, some of my friends think its very weird LMAO oh well. I've been on the internet for far too long at this point -- like, definitely since I was far too young, probably, and being with a family of the next youngest being 12 years older than me, I really dove into stuff pretty quickly I definitely shouldn't have, but hey that's life -- I'm really unfazed by mostly anything now. Hell, me making ULR was honestly half motivated by me wanting to make others more comfortable with this kind of media, discussing sexuality and otherwise sexual-considered topics, without really being embarrassed or bothered by it. Because, people talk about death and killing and whatever other gorey stuff just fine, but the moment sex comes up, people just gasp in awe, y'know? I kind of grew up that way myself but like... ironically, in being more comfortable with my asexuality, I realized that it's honestly not that big of a deal. Sure, we don't need to hear the details of everything. We don't need to hear the details of a murder either. But I will never understand how murder is always the lowest on the "morally wrong list of things to not to" to so many people and that it's fine to mention, but even consider bringing up anything else and it's like, a sin and you're a bad person. Even racism is like, higher up on there for a lot of people, which it's like... this is an issue that needs to be discussed, or it can never be solved. You can't just kick that away and hope it goes away on its own, that's never how it works.

Ah, well, now I've gone off tangent lol. Sorry to make you read a blob of text lmao but having things in a cohesive format of what I've been thinking does feel a bit better. Thank you for the support regardless, and I do want to keep making what I really enjoy, because frankly, I really want to make things that make people take a step back and think for a moment, y'know? Things that invoke like a realization in yourself about something you didn't even know. That's how fiction's always been for me, so I want to give back by making it that way too. ... maybe my horny content is exempt from this however. That's just. Self indulgence LMAO.

Probably helps that I'm actually talking this all out for once, too, since before any of this I tried to keep as much of the situation contained to myself as possible in hopes I could clean it up before it got too bad. That was, in hindsight, probably a terrible idea lol. But I didn't want to be a source of stress for anyone following me or become the new creator-to-defend that like, 50% of people hate and 50% of people love and that you're either on one side or the other and there's no where in between. (I feel like Arin Hanson comes to mind for me every time I think of someone like this.) I know I can't please everyone and I knew internet hate would come eventually, but like, didn't expect it to be over a name or tag choice. I thought that would be a simple enough DM or clearable thing but apparently not, especially since I saw someone a few weeks ago delete their blog over a similar thing (though, the opposite, in a way: posting nsfw in a sfw tag by mistake). It wasn't in the UT fandom so y'all probably weren't following them (tbf I wasn't either, I just witnessed it happen from start to finish), but it was still disheartening.

Anyway, thank you, and sorry to make ya read all of that (if you actually did vahdbs don't blame you if you don't it's a lot of thought dump lmao)💕💕

#zircon answers #anonymous #all this happened like the DAY i got accepted onto the bhc team to and i was like #alright guys am i being kicked out day one lol #like i was expecting the worst from this whole thing #but im still kind of happy with how i worked it out #i really wish more people were like #willing to talk things out rather than just spit in a general direction and hope youll listen #because like even the people i talked to calmly some of them were pretty rude at first! but!#theyre not bad people #they were just scared for their favorite thing #i cant blame them for that and honestly i do consider the hatred justified under the circumstances that they knew #but they were all really nice after we talked things out #and were like 'i hope your series does well' and that really meant a lot honestly #death mention tw//

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third3yeblonde · 2 years

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thoughts for today..

So, it’s pretty late in the evening here. Trying to get myself to start winding down. Although you and I both know how much of a struggle that is for me.. LOL. I’ve already considered doing a deep clean of my room.. It’s gotten pretty bad and I haven’t really done it since I moved in here 2 years ago... Yeah, clutter. Clutter EVERYWHERE because I’m a pack rat and never and I do mean never throw anything away. Memories, you know? But, maybe I need to start learning how to let some of those go.. kind of cleanse my surroundings so I can cleanse my soul. Rid myself of the baggage I carry around all the time. Heavy shit too.. I’ve been told I’m pretty hard on myself and I know it’s true but.. It’s hard to just, not expect so much more of myself when I should be looking for ways to cope and acamodate (sp?) myself I ridicule and put myself down or just straight ignore the fact that I know I may need extra help here and there with life things.. enough to where I just struggle on my own until I break down eventually.. I gotta work on that for sure. I’m going to start writing posts on here every day if I can, but I”m not going to set an impossible goal once again so, you’ll see something from me semi often I hope. Just to kinda get things out of my head and onto some kind of outlet/platform. I’m no artist, I can’t sing or write songs, I dont really exercise, I don’t do planners, I don’t do anything to let things go, let things out. I could just start randomly screaming I guess, but that may become alarming to some, So writing it is, or well, typing it is, Seeing as unfortunately I cannot write with a pen/pencil on paper anymore without my hand starting to cramp up after less than a page of hand writing,, it kills me to have to do this because I love the simple art of writing in a notebook with a new favorite pen and smelling the ink on paper.. but oh well, this will do. :/ enough depressing stuff though, today was okay I guess. It’s my last day off of the week and I got to spend it in court this morning, .Luckily things went how I’d hoped. I got an extention on my community service due date. Just a week, but that gives me time to finish the 11 out of 15 hours I have left. Hopefully I can anyways work around my work schedule. I work 4 out of the 7 days of the week. Hopefully soon to be 5 so I can start making some real money. I’m so excited for my first full paycheck (2 weeks worth of hours). I’m going to feel rich, it’s the most I’ve ever really made somewhere and I”m stoked to see the results of my hard work. I’ve really been busting my ass at this new job. Its another housekeeping position but at a sort of new place. I’m full time @ the La Quinta Inn and Suites now. Cleaning rooms.. fun fun fun. But its a job and an easy one at that, .Well, maybe a little physically taxing but I need that forced bit of exercise every day. I’ve been gaining weight again so this will slim down a smidge. Not that I really want to lose weight I just don’t want to sit around like a blob anymore. I’ve also been doing a lil side hustle.. it’s risky but it getting me through this last gap of no check until next week. I have help, but I think I”m okay at it myself. It’s also not very hard.. just risky if youre not smart about yourself. So i try to be as not dumb as possible in this business. The consequences are more than I’m really willing to face. But, if that day was to ever come of course I would face it. Aint no fuck shit in this bitch. I unlike a lot of people I know really knows and practices respect and loyalty. I wish some people could really see that and appreciate it for what it is... but oh well, thats a song I need to stop singing.. a broken record I’ve got to quit playing. If he loved me, I know where he would be,. and he’s not there so.. that tells me all I need to know. Or it should, I’m just stubborn and really honestly still want to hang on.. I really don’t know why. Matt says Stockholm Syndrome.. I kind of can believe that to be plausible.. just sucks knowing that that is what I had to come to accept as love.. because that’s all he knows how to show it.. and I knew the things I had to endure were worth it because, it meant he cared about me. He hurt me the most because he loved me the most... right? Ha.. yeah, right.. I miss him every day still, I can’t tell you why or how I can still say that and truly mean it but I do. I miss the good times.. I even sometimes miss the attention that came with the not so bad times.. the bad times though, I don’t miss. And wouldnt wish on anyone that has so much love for someone that continuously tries to intimidate, hurt, embarrass or punish them so they can feel big.. I would do anything for him. I did do anything for him.. Every day... And I still would would it not be for his habit of being physically and mentally abusive on a daily basis.. I wish he never had to go through the things that made him into the kind of man he is today. I wish no one had to.. I wish someone had been there to show him real love, to protect him, to give him a real childhood.. to not have it robbed from him at such a young fragile stage in his development as a person.. I wish that I could have loved the bad away. I tried so hard to love his pain away, his past, his rage.. I tried so so hard to show him what real love was. What it really felt like but.. He didn’t know what to do with it when I had such a compulsion to give it all I had. To give him all of me, every ounce of my being I wanted him to know I used to love him with. My heart beat for him, the blood in my veins still runs so hot for him and his touch.. His eyes on me.. the way his hands felt on me,. All over me.. the way his kiss felt all the way down my body.. teasing me in the end. Making the anticipation eat me alive before finally relieving me of my yearning.. letting me have all that I wanted of him.. It was so much about that though, so much of my love for him stemmed for the passion I felt for him during those times,, And I fell so hard for him physically.. It’s so crazy.. but thats how he works. That;s how he gets you. Really any woman.. but goodness.... I know it was real with me. And no one can tell me otherwise. How hard he’d give it to me.. How deep he would go.. making me feel like I’d become a part of him and he of me.. Him making just as much noise as I did.. not being able to contain his pleasure in what he was doing to me.. How good it felt.. grabbing my hair from behind me and gripping harder with every stroke.. ugh.. telling me when he wanted me to cum for him.. and goddamn did that make me lose it. Worked like a charm everytime that hot breath in my ear with those words.. that demand.. to show just how much control he had over my body in those moments. His voice.. fuck.. rough and low.. me responding with shakes all throughout my body as that pleasure pulsed through my entirety.. over and over again. Making me say his name amidst the cussing I always let out when I’m being railed right.. god bless america.. well this turned into something entirely different than what I had anticipated but.. I can dig it. LOL wonder how much content I could come with that would actually be acceptable as something worth reading,. God bless. Now I’m sitting here all uncomfortably hot and bothered. I wish he’d come fuck me one last time,. making sure I never forget who did it right.. always.. who changed my life in soooo many ways; not even just in hed either but i won’t get too emotional about it right now. Theres absolutely no excuse for the way he got me wrapped aroumd his finger.. Using sex as a bribe worse than candy for a fucking baby..Anyways,. this is probaly a pretty good stopping point. I’ll never understand how he could pick her over the shit we do .. but ohh well.. It hurts less and less everytime I’ve been reminded which gets less and less often as each day passes.. Okay, goodnight everybody.

#051122 journalentry thatrealshit

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tumblunni · 7 years

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Some more random thoughts and stuff for Completely Undeveloped Monster Petshop Game/I might end up calling it Moncrafter but I still don’t know if that sounds dumb or not. I NEED MORE NAME IDEAS!

* Monster Artisan? Monster Studio? Maybe try and think of other stuff that’s related to the alchemy crafting factor...

* And maybe there should be a catchy name for the monsters, rather than just calling them monsters? It kinda strikes me as something that’d make it TOO much of a Monster Rancher spiritual successor, yknow. That game kinda stands out in the genre for not having a name for the monsters! XD And I’ve decided that the origin of these guys is that they’re alchemically created familiars invented by rich folks with too much time on their hands. So maybe I should try and think of a more catchy way to say ‘homunculus’? Holms? Collect your holms! Craft your holms! Holm shop! Holm hugging! It could work! Also it’d kinda have a bit of sentimental attatchment for me, cos one of the hostels I used to live at was in Holmsdale Street. Homeless to holmfull! That place seriously saved my life. Alternatively, maybe ‘poppets’? Cos that’s cute sounding but it actually means the thing that pop culture calls a ‘voodoo doll’. They don’t really exist as part of vodoun religion, it was just a stupid stereotype that’s ended up engrained as common knowledge. Poppets were actually part of european and british superstition, so it sucks that nobody remembers this and you have people in those countries thinking of it as a big ol scary thing of someone else’s religion..

* I’ve been thinking about the creation methods for the holms, and thinking about it, and thinking about it SOME MORE, and seriously i’m practically writing actual petcare books in my head about these fictional critters!! I’m a lil grumpy tho cos we developed stuff a bit more and decided the plant dog would indeed have to be grass type, it’d be better to have something else be the main water type and just use the seaweed variant of the dog as the dual type crossbreed. Because it was REALLY CUTE imagining that idea of how you create them! Stirring a cauldron of magic potion until it clumps together into moss, and then refining and sieving it until you have a tiny barking marimo~ I can imagine that just a more traditionally elementally aligned version would be less endearing. Like a water type just pops out of the water and the rgass type grows in a regular plantpot. It doesn’t seem as fun as having to grow a sentient plant in a lil aquarium for dogs. ITS TWO THINGS! ITS TWO GREAT THINGS! So actually this makes me think about maybe if we make more of the creation spells involve different elements? And that could be like a positive set of elemental matchups, opposed to the negative ones in battle. So you could use your monsters to help make new monsters! And maybe the new baby dog picks up a good influence from its water type godparent, even though they don’t have any direct relation. Like, if you add fragments from parent monsters to the mixture, you get a fusion monster, but then the godparent could maybe add one extra skill inheritance, or maybe influence the stat build or personality values...?

* I was thinking that the maohs/whatever else I decide to call the grumpy fire fairies, well duh they’d be created from fire. So the alchemist crafts a candle with a special recipe, or maybe you have to write a spell in super small print on the wick? Yeah, that’d be cool, it’d be neat if they all had wildly different creation spells that all require different skills outside of just being good at magic. Hire a wandering calligrapher to assist in your pixie baking! Oh, or maybe with the positive elemental variations thing, perhaps light type monsters have really good calligraphy cos they’re the most Intelligence-specialized breed. Oh, or perhaps they’re good at helping to create dark types, cos they can cast more powerful shadows? BUT YEAH I imagined the fairy holms hatching in a weird cute way! The flame on the candle would burn continuously for several days, with the shape of the fairy growing in the centre. It would remain microscopic for 99% of its development, and then in the last hour or so the fire would blaze up to it’s full size! Keep sure to protect the workshop from this three minute doom bonfire, while also stoking it with coal so the baby grows up big and strong! By the time it subsides, you’ll have a fully formed child-sized monster, and probably half of a table left. :3 Also: imagine them chewing on logs instead of pacifiers!

* I had the odd idea that light types are created through song. Usually the holms require physical ingredients and some sort of recipe, but these ones get their reputation as holy creatures from the fact they come from nothing. There’s special hymns to summon them, and they have to be sung with enough skill, conviction, and purity of heart. So it still takes as much effort as other methods of alchemy, even though theoretically anyone could do it. Its even theoretically possible that you could summon a holy homunculus through ANY song, not just the special ones designed for that purpose. There’s tales of singing priests that’re just SO GOOD that holy beasts appear whenever they open their mouth! So they hold a vow of silence and only use this power in times of need. Though it could be considered a curse in other places, it’d suck to be a random opera singer and suddenly lose your career as a swarm of monsters divebomb the audience! And the even rarer ultimate tier legend is of the man who spoke words of such beauty that an angel appeared without even the need for song. Nobody has any record of this really happening, but it’s an enduring myth. The idea of finding that one perfect sentence that convinces gods to bend their will to you...! Or, on the other side of things, there’s the thought of someone whose intentions were so pure that even their most humble, inelegant plea for help could make the heavens cry. So yeah, a lot of potential in this idea of musical monster making~!

* Oh, and I think that after your song actually summons a light monster, they still go through the same ‘kinda like an egg without the egg’ phase that all the others do. Instead of being inside a candle or a cauldron, they’re just kinda... slowly phasing into our laws of reality. You can tell when a song summons a holy beast cos there will be a little glow in the air, like a snowflake frozen in mid-fall. And then it’ll slowly turn into a translucent outline of the monster, and then it eventually gains solidity and becomes fully aware. So they can be a little annoying because it’s completely impossible to move the egg once it’s appeared. You’re just stuck with this intangeable glowy blob that gets brighter every day- sucks if it appeared in the middle of your office! And it also means that it’s easier to accidentally create a monster. You might just not notice a speck of light that happened to land in an awkward place after your seemingly failed summoning. Then the poor lil thing hatches under the floorboards or something, and ends up wandering out all confused and becoming a scary stray monster in the woods! Homunculi aren’t really designed to be independant in the wild, they’re not merely domesticated but literally CREATED to serve humans... T_T

* OH and also the purpose of holy type holms is to be a ‘guidance’ familiar. They were crafted to be like an artificial computer that could potentially grow more intelligent than humans, and answer the great questions of the world. (Though, I mean, the equivelant of computers in an ancient magical civilization that has no idea what computers are!) These manmade angels are meant to be able to see into the future, and commune with the will of the real gods, and calculate things that aren’t humanly possible. They would be given seemingly high roles in society as advisors to great kings, with their opinions valued higher than any human in the country. But they had no real freedom, living their lives in cages with their only exposure to the outside world being their extensive programs of constant unceasing lessons in every discipline imagineable. Many of them would eventually snap under the pressure, leading to a reputation of the species as fiendish tricksters that live outside the boundaries of human morality and NEED to be restrained or else they’d be dangerous. This is likely why the rumours started of them being able to be summoned any time anyone speaks ANYTHING, with the implication that they might have existed forever and humans never really created them... So... yeah, they’re one of the few species of monster that’s actually seen some benefit from the art of alchemy becoming a hobby of the idle rich! Nowadays they’re just one in a million monsters that’re bred for status, with both their ‘holy’ and ‘demon’ reputations being long forgotten. And they get to see what it’s like to be pampered pets ^_^ Unfortunately, holy types are one of the longest living homunculi, so some elderly ones still remember those bygone eras and hold resentment towards humanity. Their secondary purpose of acting as living relics to the past... its kinda backfiring... (random idea for a boss battle, lol!)

#monster shop game

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elrieltinuviel · 7 years

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~All the questions!~

1. If you didn't have to sleep, what would you do with the extra time? I’d probably cook or look for recipes

2. What is your favorite piece of clothing you own / owned? I don’t have one

3. What hobby would you pick up if time & money weren't an issue? Making armor and forging swords!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4. What does your perfect room look like? Its a kitchen! A very large kitchen!

5. How often do you play sports? Sadly not anymore

6. What fictional place would you like to visit? Middle Earth!

7. What job would you be terrible at? Anything construction based

8. When was the last time you climbed a tree? I haven’t climbed a tree in years :/

9. If you could turn any activity into an Olympic sport, what would you have a good chance of winning a medal for? Sleeping?

10. What is the most annoying habit that you or other people have? I currently can’t think for some reason

11. What job do you think you'd be really good at? I have no idea, honestly

12. What skill would you like to master? A great many things, like cooking and such and also metalwork!!!

13. What would be the most amazing adventure to go on? Backpacking through the appalachians I think would be wonderful

14. If you had unlimited funds to build a house to live on for the rest of your life, what would the finished house look like? Like a castle

15. What's your favorite drink? Alcoholic? Angry Orchard! But mostly the green apple one.

16. What state or country do you never want to go back to? I haven’t been to enough places to answer this

17. What songs do you have completely memorized? Too many to answer this properly

18. What game or movie universe would you like to live in? Tolkien!

19. What do you consider to be your best find? My best find? No idea, probably a cool rock

20. Are you usually early or late? I try so hard to be early

21. What pets did you have when you were growing up? I had a dog!!! Avalanche! And then a turtle, bob

22. When people come to you for help, what do they usually need help with? All sorts of things! I try to make sure my friends know I’m here to help

23. What takes up too much of your time? Tumblr

24. What do you wish you knew more about? Everything??????????? (astrophysics)

25. What would be your first question after waking up from being frozen for 100 years? “What the fuck?”

26. What are some small things that make your day better? a lovely conversation with a good person! Also good food!

27. Who's your go-to band or artist when you don't know who or what to listen to? Whatever’s on spotify

28. What's the best way to start the day? Sleep until noon

29. What TV shows do you like? Chopped, Iron Chef, Voltron is pretty cool, CRITICAL ROLE (Not a tv show but I don’t care)

30. What TV channel doesn't exist but really should? I have no idea

31. Who has impressed you most with what they've accomplished? I’m sorry, but I don’t have the thought to answer this

32. What age do you wish you could stay at permanently? I don’t

33. What TV show or movie do you refuse to watch? 50 Shades

34. What's your ideal way to spend a weekend? Catching up on Critical Role, maybe hang out!

35. What is something that is considered a luxury, but you don't think you could live without? Internet?

36. What is your claim to fame? I don’t understand

37. What is something you enjoy doing the old-fashioned way? Nothing?

38. What's your favorite book or movie genre? Lord of the Rings!!!

39. How often do you people-watch? Never, I tend to make eye contact too often

40. What have you only recently formed an opinion about? Something political, probably

41. What's the best day of the year? A day that it’s snowing?

42. What subject interests you that not many people have heard of? ????????????

43. How do you relax after a long day of work? I sleep

44. What's the best book series or TV series you've ever read or watched? My favorite is Tolkien

45. Where is the farthest you've ever been from home? I’m 1553 miles from my home

46. What's the most heartwarming thing you've ever seen? No idea

47. What is the most annoying question people ask you? “So you’re like a plant?”

48. What could you give a 40-minute presentation on with no preparation? Tolkien universe stuff

49. If you were the dictator on a small island nation, what crazy dictator stuff would you do? I’d give free food and water and healthcare to the citizens and revive the barter system

50. What is something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives? Be free

51. Would you rather go hand gliding or whitewater rafting? I like whitewater rafting

52. What's your dream car? One that I own and has good gas mileage. Preferably an SUV

53. What's worth spending more on to get the best? Shoes, food, relationships

54. What is something a ton of people are obsessed with, but you just don't get? sex

55. What are you most looking forward to in the next 10 years? Loving myself

56. Where is the most interesting place you've been? Mt. Greylock

57. What's something you've been meaning to try but haven't gotten around to it? Making something but I can’t think of what specifically

58. What is the best thing that happened to you last week? I’m going to a convention in 2 weeks!

59. What piece of entertainment do you wish you could erase from your mind, only to experience it for the first time again? All of the Critical Role episodes

60. If all jobs had the same pay rate and hours, what job would you want to have? No idea

61. What amazing thing have you done that no one was around to see? I don’t know

62. How different was your life 1 year ago? I was living in Mass and was working at a shitty warehouse. Pretty different

63. What quirks do you have? idk man

64. What would you rate 10/10? A dog probably

65. What fad or trend do you think should come back? Being a good person!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

66. What is the most interesting piece of art you've seen? I’m not super into art, honestly

67. What kind of art do you enjoy most? No idea

68. What do you hope never changes? Nothing

69. What city would you most like to live in? I hate cities

70. What movie title best describes your life? No idea

71. Why did you decide to do the work you are doing now? The job was literally handed to me

72. What's the best way a person can spend their time? Having a good time????

73. If you suddenly became a master at woodworking, what would you make? Bows. So many bows. And arrows

74. Where is the most relaxing place you've ever been? Mt. Greylock

75. What's the luckiest thing that has ever happened to you? I was literally handed a job by the manager of the place next to my dad’s work

76. Where would you rather be from? I kinda wanted for my parents to have me in South Africa, but Oh well lol

77. What are some things you've had to unlearn? Toxic masculinity, transphobia, homophobia, misogyny, racism. All sorts of shitty stuff

78. What do you look forward to in the next 6 months? I have no idea!

79. What website do you visit most often? ...Tumblr...

80. What one thing do you really want but can't afford? A car and a home (that’s more than 1 thing)

81. Where do you usually go when you have free time? My computer...

82. Where would you spend all your time if you could? The mountains

83. What's special about the place you grew up? snow???

84. What age do you want to live to? Until I’m dead, I don’t care what age

85. What are you most likely to become famous for? Nothing

86. What are you absolutely determined to do? Love myself

87. What is the most impressive thing you know how to do? I can...um...I can cook??????????

88. What do you wish you knew more about? All the things

89. What question would you most like to know the answer to? No idea

90. What question can you ask to find out the most about a person? Fuck I don’t know

91. When was the last time you changed your opinion or belief about something major? It’s been some time

92. What's the best compliment you've ever received? When people complement my cooking?

93. As the only human left on earth, what would you do? Die alone

94. Who inspires you to be better? Nobody, only me

95. What do you want your epitaph to be? It had better have my real name

96. What haven't you grown out of? These pants

97. In what situation or place would you feel most out of place in? Most situations

98. What's the dumbest thing you've done that actually turned out pretty well? I don’t know

99. If someone wrote a book on an event in your life, what would the book be about? Fuck if I know

100. What's something you will never do again? There are a few things

101. How do you hope you'll change as a person in the future? I hope to be a better person

102. What keeps you up at night? My dumb brain

103. What's the most surprising self-realization you've had? Well the whole not being straight of cis was surprising

104. What is the most illegal thing you've ever done? I’m not incriminating myself (I don’t remember)

105. How do you get in the way of your own success? I have depression

106. What are you afraid people see when they look at you? A gross blob. Or a shitty person

107. What is your biggest regret? I have a lot

108. What do you look down on people for? Bigotry

109. What bridges do you not regret burning? Several

110. What lie do you tell most often? I tell a lot of lies, but I’m getting better

111. What would be your spirit animal? Idk

112. What is the best & worst thing about getting older? My bones hurt

113. What are you most likely very wrong about? Lots of things

114. If you had a personal flag, what would be on it? No idea

115. What's happened that changed your view on the world? Tumblr, honestly

116. What is the biggest lesson you've learned? I’ve learned a lot of things

117. What is the most immature thing you do? No idea

118. What are you famous for among your friends & family? Being an idiot

119. If your childhood had a smell, what would it be? Void. I have no memory

120. What one responsibility do you wish you didn't have? Working and paying bills

121. What are 3 things you want to accomplish before you die? I want to transition, find love, and love myself

122. What do you want to tell your 10-year-old self? Hey kid, you’re a lady and also don’t try to force yourself into sexual situations

123. What's the best thing you got from your parents? Cooking skills

124. What's the best thing about you? I’m kinda nice I guess?

125. What blows your mind? Space

126. Have you ever saved someone's life? Nope

127. What are you really good at but embarrassed to be good at? I’m not good at much, honestly

128. What would a mirror opposite of you look like? Hot

129. What are 3 interesting facts about you? I’m not in the state of mind for this, sorry

130. Which of your scars has the best story behind it? I have one on my hip that I got from a game of manhunt. I ran into a fence and flipped over it lol. Ruined a nice shirt

131. What's the title of the current chapter in your life? Welcome to Texas, Don’t Die

132. What were some of the biggest turning points in your life? Realizing my queerness

133. What's the hardest lesson you've learned? I’d rather not think about that

134. What do people think is weird about you? A lot

135. What mistake do you keep making? Falling too fast

136. What have you created that you're most proud of? A batch of brownies

137. What do you doubt? Myself

138. What are some of your morals? Don’t be shitty??????

139. What do you want to be remembered for? Being kind

140. What do you regret not doing in your childhood years? I don’t remember them

141. What is your favorite fragrance? Trees and mountain air

142. What do you think your last words will be? Fuck

143. Who or what do you take for granted? Fuck if I know

144. Why would you be annoying as a roommate? I snore, apparently. And I shed like a motherfucker :/

145. What is something you're insecure about? My physical appearance

146. What's the best & worst piece of advice you've received? I don’t know

147. What irrational fears do you have? Heights, spiders, men????

148. What makes a good life? Happiness

149. What's the last adventure you went on? I haven’t been on an adventure in a long time

150. What is the most memorable gift you've received? My dad’s Lord of the Rings book

151. Last kiss An ex, ages ago

152. Last phone call My mom

153. Last text message This cute dork :p

154. Last song you listened to The Critical Role opening song!

155. Last time you cried A few weeks ago

HAVE YOU EVER:156. Dated someone twice Yes, once

157. Been cheated on Yes...

158. Self harmed Not traditionally? I smoked for a bit hoping fr cancer and I binge ate for a heart attack. Bad shit

159. Lost someone special Yes. My grandmother

160. Been depressed Hella

161. Been drunk and threw up Nope

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU:162. had sex lol no

163. How many people have you had sex with this year? Zero

165. Made a new friend YES!! :D

167. Laughed until you cried No

168. Met someone who changed you Not this year

169. Found out who your true friends were No

170. Found out someone was talking about you No?

171. What did you do for your last Birthday Went to dinner, I think

172. What time did you wake up today Noonish?

173. Name something you CANNOT wait for Well I have a date this weekend (!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and a con the next weekend, I think?

174. Last time you saw your all of your siblings at the same time March :/

175. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life A few things

176. What are you listening to right now Critical Role!

177. When is the last time you had sex? Never! :D

178. Who's getting on your nerves right now Nobody

179. Most visited webpage ...Tumblr...

180. Favorite colour Dark red or blue or black

181. Nicknames El

182. Relationship Status Single

183. Zodiac sign Libra

184. Male or female Female

185. Primary school South

186. Secondary School Bellingham memorial

187. High school/college Bellingham

188. Eye color Brown/hazel

189. Height 5′11″

190. Do you have a crush on someone MAYBE

191. What do you like about yourself I’m kinda nice

192. Piercings 3, nips and lip

193. Tattoos No :/

194. Righty or lefty Righty

FIRSTS:195. First piercing My lip!

196. First best friend I don’t remember!

197. First hookup I’m a virgin

198. First Bestfriend You asked this?

RIGHT NOW:199. Eating Nothing

200. Drinking Nothing

201. I'm about to Finish this damn thing

202. Listening to Critical Role

203. Waiting for The weekend!

YOUR FUTURE:204. Want kids? Nah

205. Get married? Someday

206. Career Something cool!

WHICH IS BETTER:207. Lips or eyes Eyes

208. Hugs or kisses Both!

209. Shorter or taller Neither

210. Older or Younger Neither

211. Romantic or spontaneous Both?

212. Nice stomach or nice arms I don’t particularly care

213. Sensitive or loud Neither

214. Hook-up or relationship Relationship

HAVE YOU EVER:215. Kissed a stranger No

216. Drank hard liquor Ye

217. Lost glasses/contacts I broke glasses, not lost

218. Had sex Nope

219. Broken someone's heart Yes

220. Been arrested Nope

221. Turned someone down Possibly? I don’t recall

222. Cried when someone died Yes

223. Fallen for a friend Hella lol

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:224. Yourself Ehh

225. Miracles Ehh

226. Love at first sight No

227. Heaven In a sense

228. Santa Clause No lol

229. Kiss on the first date Maybe????? Never done it, don’t have a problem with it?

230. Angels Ehh

231. How would you label yourself? A few things

232. Someone You Pray Everyday For Nope

233. Did you sing today No

234. Who From All Your Ex's have You Cared The Most About No idea

235. If you could go back in time, how far would you go? I don’t think I would

236. Out Of Everything In The World What Do You Wish For Happiness

237. Are you afraid of falling in love? No

238. Do you like the way you look? FUCK no

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