#SIT DOWN AND HEAR ME OUT

[ltcdrmcgarrett]

It was dark down there, man. There’s no way you could have known. No, man. I messed up. Don’t do that. I didn’t have a visual. Steve, listen to me: It was an accident. The guy was trained, he should have identified himself as a cop — Lou. I didn’t have a visual.

#Hawaii Five-0 #h50edit #Steve McGarrett #Mine #mygifs #SIT DOWN AND HEAR ME OUT #I was SO excited about this storyline and I can't let it go #I'm kinda furious that they just 'oh nevermind'ed it in the same episode man #Imagine just imagine how incredible this could have been if it had been legit #Steve killed a police officer #The weight of that guilt is almost unbearable #He starts to distance himself from his friends because they desperately want to help justify it #but Steve won't hear of it #The blame is his and his alone as far as he can see it #A police officer is dead and it was Steve's bullet #A police officer's family and friends are mourning his loss and it was Steve's fault #not a terrorist or a robber or a murderer but Steve's #He can't sleep without seeing that cop's face so he barely sleeps #When Steve works a case he can't focus #He can't bear to be around HPD because he knows what they're thinking #He becomes trigger shy and unwilling to pull the trigger until he has a full visual #This puts his life in danger more than once and endangers his team #Once he spots a suspect before anyone else but freezes #The suspect shoots Junior #It's not fatal by any means but this just adds to Steve's guilt #He stops coming to work #He no longer trusts himself and refuses to put any more lives at risk because of his failings #*slams my fists on the desk* I WANTED TO SEE THIS #Ugh I'm mad there was so bloody much potential and I ache for it #8x07

[sun-marie]

Like as a self-proclaimed fan of romance in video games (including dating sims my beloved), it really feels odd when I hear people say a game isn't worth it because it lacks romantic options. The first Pillars of Eternity game doesn't feel empty when it doesn't allow the Watcher to smooch someone, bc that's not the focus of the game and the depth of the character writing and world building are so rich even with the absence of romance. As a Kaidanmancer ME2 is my favorite Mass Effect even without romancing anyone because the characters are wonderful regardless and the atmosphere is immaculate. Is Fire Emblem Echoes a lesser FE game bc I can't choose who Alm loves? Or are they trying to tell a story of two bound souls connected across a continent?

In my mind when it comes to RPGs, romance options are and always have been a luxury. Role Playing Games have a story to tell, first and foremost, and sometimes romance doesn't always fit with that story. Again, I love romance options in RPGs, but the absence of them shouldn't devalue a game. And trying to force games that aren't focusing on romance to do so, while there are many many dating sim-type games out there explicitly CENTERED on exploring romantic options, is a losing battle with a lesser end.

#idk it's late and i'm pretty sure this is a non-issue #but sometimes it's frustrating to hear people dismiss games like Avowed bc they have no romance before they've even played them #and like with some people i just want to sit them down and be like. You're looking for a Harvest Moon game #the games that have what you want exist and are out there #and it'd be way more productive to just play those than try to bludgeon every game you play into being them #anyway if ur someone who feels like they're missing some lovey-dovey games #i got some great recs! ask me sometime! #anyway idk what this is #marie speaks

[j3llyf1shdust]

Okay hear me out-

(Just a note i dont know how common this "hc" is cus I haven't roperly interacted with a fandom since I was like 13 I have no idea wtf you guys are doin up in there)

(And no, writing fanfiction on ao3 and occassionally talking to commenters doesn't technucally count.)

#hear me out #red son x mk #kai is a spicynoodles love child #Consider #I will make a venn diagram later #point is #propaganda #Im spreading propaganda #my art #traditional art #family tree #I'll make a better version later #yeah idk #Im a fandom hermit #Meaning I sit on top of the mountain and occassional send shut down but haven't talked to other fandom goers #Like wyf ya'll doin? #lego monkie kid #lego ninjago #lavashipping #kai x cole

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

ON THE SUBJECT OF A MARCH 1ST UPDATE LIVESTREAM.

so due to newly-employed circumstances, i most likely won't be able to stream my exploration of the update until the Sunday after it drops - March 3rd, likely around 10 am pst.

im not gonna ask anyone to wait because that's unreasonable and absurd, However! I am curious:

#im asking instead of cancelling it outright #because i know how fun it can be to see someone explore/discover/watch something youve already enjoyed #plus. if i may so bold as to say! #who knows! maybe some of you actually Want to hear me speculate and go bonkers On Mic <3 #absolutely unprompted #marked for deletion #welcome home #Why Am I Waiting Until The Third? #it will most likely be my first day off! #i dont wanna explore the update when im exhausted after a 9 hour shift lmfao #and i don't want to explore it in the morning before work when im on a crunch #i want Time! i want Energy! im gonna need all the brainpower i can cobble together! #oh man the upcoming full day of Active Avoidance #i might actually turn off my phone lmfao #bc muscle memory is gonna take me to tumblr & That has burned me so many times... #im not gonna use tumblr im not gonna use discord #im gonna queue up youtube videos so that i dont risk seeing anything on the homepage #babey im Hunkering Down! #i will simply spend my free time after work with myself. crochet. doodle. sit and stare at a wall #sob viciously bc im missing out #its interesting. so much of my life has been Being Late To The Proverbial Party & Missing Out On Experiences. #and by interesting i mean it makes me violent. sigh. but we deal! what else is there to do!

[royalberryriku]

Thinking about how "self defence" is considered okay until a country the west is not allied with does it.

#yes this is about iran #israel attacked first and then they responded and now everyone is like “wait wait they can't do that!” #and I'm just sitting here looking at Palestine like ??? #And look I'm not saying I condone any violence esp against civilians #but I am saying it's bery ironic and telling #when Israel fucks around and finds out #I am kind of here like damn finally tasting the taste of your own spit that you spat at another #must feel like throwing stones in a glass house eh Israel is kinda the feel I'm feeling rn #but anyway #also a note while I say I'm generally against violence I do think resistence is expected and deserved when colonial powers oppress people #I'm specifically talking about how I'm not condoning any attacks on civilians #BUT resistance is justified while Palestine is occupied #and long live the Antifada #both are two things that coexist for me here #and things I think are being honoured in the resistence the more I hear of personal accounts of said civilians #*civilians #When one military side says “oh this happened!” only to be proven as liars over and over again #then the hostages themselves say “no we were attacked with friendly fire from israel” #and for that to be proved?? #Then hearing how said hostages say “Hamas put their bodies on the line to cover us from said friendly fire” like?? #maybe Hamas aren't the aggressors when they treat their hostages like this and israel has killed their own just to get at Hamas and civ- #-illians alike #tag comments are a mess and probably don't accurately portray feelings fully but long live the antifada and down with colonialist lies

[flowercrowngods]

i don't know how to be merely acquaintances when we used to be friends. or i think we used to be. i don't know how to yearn for a simple hello when you've been heaping your affection on me months ago, and i don't know how to talk to you when you won't say anything. when suddenly it's all about me. you know i have nothing to say, you know my brain is void of everything but horribleness and i cannot tell you about my day because i don't even know about my day. i cannot tell you about my day when i know you won't listen, when i know you'll apply your philosophy to my world and don't believe me when i say that everything is terrible. i don't know how to be the person you seem to think i am, or the person you want in your life. i don't know if you want anyone else in your life now that you're in love and sappy, found another recipient for your affections, leaving me empty and wounded and yearning.

you said you missed me. said it many times, while i was gone. now i'm back, have been back, and i wonder how you missed me, why you missed me, when you won't talk to me. i think you mistook missing for worrying. i think you mistook caring for a feeling of obligation. i think you like missing me more than talking to me.

and i think i can't breathe with how much that hurts

#how do you miss me when you won't talk to me? how do you like me so much and then go to just. not? #how did i let you in when i try so hard not to let people do that because i know that once they get past the walls all i'll be left with #is the idea of them rotting and withering inside me. polluting the space i create to keep myself safe. #why does everyone leave? leave in silence too. leaving behind so many questions and so many words engraved in my brain #i am so tired of *grieving* when those i grieve are still alive and well and thriving and i'm reminded that it's versions of myself #that i'm grieving instead. how do you grieve yourself? how do you not fucking fall apart over it? #just. fucking talk to me. don't make it be true that all i'll ever be is nothingness and the memory of someone you liked once #but never never never liked enough #i'm so so cold already. i'm a shell. i want to be warm again but it always leaves me so hollow and hurting #i grieve the dio who was warm. i grieve them i miss them i am so so angry that he had to leave. to hide. with no way out #i'm happy for you. i'm happy you're happy. but you're no better than anyone else and it makes me want to run away again #but i have nowhere else to run and no one else to be. and it's so fucked that it doesn't matter who i am i'll never be enough #for someone to just. stay. to see me and to stay. to hear me and to sit and listen and just. just fucking stay. #maybe i'm not worth staying for. maybe there's nothing to know nothing to hear nothing to see nothing to listen to nothing to find #maybe all i'll ever get is one/two good months paid for with a lifetime of grief. and i'm at the point where i don't want the good months #anymore with you or anyone else who tears down these walls with affection that is so endlessly addictive and leaves me yearning. #on the off chance that it will keep the grief away too. but that's the thing about grief isn't it? it's here to stay. unlike you #god this is so fucked up and i'll delete this later but for now i just need to. let it out. poe said i should make a side blog for the grie #but poe's not there anymore. poe has stopped starting fires. so this goes on main until shame makes me take it down #blah #personal #not st

[archduke-enver-gortash]

mmm essay about sally and kid gort in the tags (cw for child abuse, mentions of suicide, animal cruelty and a murder attempt. i always hope i don’t have to say this but just in case: i don’t excuse or condone any of her or gort’s behaviour at all.) this is literally not even touching upon everything i have to say because i hit the fucking tag limit lmao. NOBODY READ IT’S BAD BRAINSTORMING I JUST NEEDED TO GET IT OUT SOMEHOW

#thinkin too much about gortie side characters again. #sally this time and why she specifically talks about him the way she does #like dravo is obviously still shitty but to me he was. ‘just ‘neglectful #while sally actively hated and even felt terrorised by her own child #like. it’s not like i don’t understand her at all. #imagine you and your love don’t have much besides each other and your shop and you get pregnant and ready to raise a child #only for it to not be a child he didn’t and doesn’t cry ever and he learns everything so much sooner than most but then he never calls you #his parents and it’s not just a petty thing kids do sometimes you feel that he doesn’t see you as family and the worst part is that you #agree deep down #and as he gets older he doesn’t have any friends and actively rejects the notion of the entire concept #but then as time passes you hear about how he has entire groups of children following him and then several of them commit suicide #and that thing coming to sit with you and dravo at the dinner table says that he did what you did last week when the axe to chop wood broke #and you discarded it and got a new one #and he has these habits of ripping out flowers and making sure that they don’t regrow #and then you hear rumours about a friend’s daughter’s cat disappearing and think nothing of it #until you visit his tree house a month later and find a declawed cat and birds with clipped wings and crushed bugs that he keeps fondly #and then you see him with other children and they don’t know and his face is different and body language is entirely different #and were it not for the fact that you know better you would never see anything but a normal child #and you know that you are one who painstakingly brought this thing that should not be into the world and so you decide to end it all one da #and go to him as he’s asleep with the knife shaking in your hand #but he cries when you’re above him! screams at the top of his lungs! #so you beg for forgiveness even though you don’t deserve it through tears but as soon as the knife is put away you see the act drop and fee #his clever fingers having twisted your brain inside and out and you know that you can do nothing #and so the opportunity arises to at least remove him out of your life if not everyone’s lives and you take it immediately. #but you heard him talk. how he will close his fist around the world one day. and you know that it is not a matter of if but when. #like. imagine that. jesus dude. #like i hc her as someone that is messy and does not know a lot about life and she certainly wouldn’t have been a good mother but the love #or at least desire to love is there somewhere. and believing that having a child is really the only somewhat meaningful thing she can do #with her life. she’s not some hero or rich or anything of note. so there’s a lot obligation and not genuine desire for family here. #but she never really got the chance to be an actual mother in the first place so. who knows what that might have looked like

[hamartia-grander]

Jesus fucking christ I hate the US south

#Cw gun mention I guess #I was feeling super nauseous so I went into the kitchen to get ritz crackers #And we're at my grandma's rn for Christmas and she has windows in the kitchen that look out at the road/other houses #And NO curtains or blinds because she's old #And anyway I turned a small light on so I could see the crackers and I hear a fucking man outside shout “WHO'S OUT THERE” #In the heaviest southern accent. Mind you every fucking person in this area has a gun bc there's lots of trees with squirreld they shoot #And logically now that I am calming down I know it was just a bad coincidence and he was probably yelling at smthn in his yard #But jesus fucking christ I felt such immediate intense fear my head went cold #Ran to my baby brother's room bc I was certain someone was gonna come kill us #Then the rationality took over and I just told my mom about it. But now I'm sitting outside his room eating crackers bc I'm fucking paranoid #It is almost 4am and I haven't slept a wink I cannot do this rn #But literally the last time I went for a walk around here my dad told me not to go alone and also not to say anything stupid #And also stay far away from houses bc I could get myself shot #Literally what the fuck is this. #“Afearican” except I'm still very much in the US #Not to mention almost every fucking house has a blue lives matter flag and some have isr*el flags now too like #I fuuuuucking hate it here

[lesbiansanemi]

I am so fucking sick of living with my roommate and his fuck ass boyfriend. Also watching my roommate burn every single one of his (already rather minimal, I might add) bridges for this guy is also kind of painful but also his relationship with me is one of said bridges so I'm almost past the point of even feeling bad for him lmao

#i have had to piss for probably the better part of an hour now #because they decided to take a shower together and have been in there for well OVER an hour now #and this is a nightly occurence atp sometimes MULTIPLE times a day #we have one bathroom.... can yall not be considerate enough to not be in there for up to TWO HOURS AT A TIME??? #also it's such a waste of fucking water.... #idk we've hit a point where i literally hear the bf doing anything and i get pissed off #but also tell me why i'm sitting in my room (which shares a wall with the bathroom) and i can hear this man hacking and spitting shit up #and this is also something that happens multiple times a day #like.... dude.... why are you spitting up toothpaste so fucking loudly oh my fucking god #but yeah no i'm like my roommate's only friend atp and he's about to not have me lmao like we're about to reach #'i'm cutting you off when i move out' levels of me being pissed off with this whole situation type shit #and apparently the bf convinced him to come out to his family which his mom was chill which is good #his dad's side of the family though....? not great. and my roommate KNEW that would be the case cuz we'd talked about it before #also love that my roommate has constantly talked about moving out of the city we live in because he hates and also there's no good career #opportunities for him here (which is true) #and now. MAGICALLY. he's like 'idk i think it'd be best for me to stay here' #like oh my GOD???? are you hearing yourself???? are you fucking stupid???? you fucking hate it here??? #but sure throw your life away and ruin all your meaningful relationships for a guy you met six months ago jfc #and the thing is i *know* my roommate we've been close CLOSE friends for nearly a decade now #i know he is not like this.... like yeah he's being insane by allowing this but also i know these aren't the kinds of decisions he would ma #and also i know he wouldn't treat me like this all on his own #it's the deranged fucking control freak of a guy he decided to date and my roommate has too many of his own issues to put his foot down #about certain things and tell the guy no so he's just allowing him to completely take over his life #and fuck everything up until the bf is the only thing he has left once it's all said and done #and yeah. it's painful to watch. but also wtf am i supposed to do because obviously my opinion is not respected nor wanted regarding this #that has been made PAINFULLY clear #ugh this is so fucking horrendous #what is it with ppl who start to date someone and then go clinically fucking insane and destroy their lives all for this one person #who. realistically. they barely know in comparison to all the other ppl in their life #like explain it to me jfc

[miodiodavinci]

the burnout is real lads . . . . .

#which is to say that i came home and just stared at the wall for roughly 2 hours instead of completing my documents #it was at least validating to get to talk to one of my coworkers today #and hear that they're just as burnt out as i am #and usually have to sit in the parking lot for 4 to 5 minutes before they come in because they just don't want to be here that badly #and it feels hard to admit because this is typically thought of as a passion driven profession #and it's like #neither of us have lost the passion for it??? #it's not that we hate our jobs #it's just that we both feel like. we're putting in increasingly more effort week by week but we're just. #no longer getting results. #i mentioned how i feel like my faith in my ability to do this kind of work has just plummeted to zero #not at all helped by my mentor constantly pushing me to go faster and faster but then getting mad when my presentations go poorly #because i went faster or reduced the amount of material or cut the Q and A section down 10 minutes #i just feel . . . . . tired . . . . . . . . . . . #i still need to write three planning documents for tonight #one of which needs to be Really Good because my direct supervisor will be looking at it #but my god #i just want to sleep for three days straight and then stare at a wall for another three #i'm so close to the end though . . . . . #just another 15 of these documents (including the three from tonight) and that about covers my internship #of course then there's also the seminar work and the group project and all the fancy official employment documents #and. the portfolio project (a man screams in agony) #but god . . . . . . . . #so close . . . . . . . . #so close . . . . . . #once i'm free from the portfolio it's back to zola work and THEN . . . . . . . . . . #i can finally have a substantial mental health break for the first time since last may ;;; _____ ;;;

[shima-draws]

My chiro: You should ice your back for 20 minutes before you go to sleep tonight :)

Me: Yeah okay that’s probably a good idea!! I have been having really bad flare ups all week

Me now: Bad idea BAD idea this is so fucking COLD 🥶

#ALSO IDK if I’m even doing it right LMAO #I should have asked him for specifics #I’m laying on my back with the ice under me #But maybe I should be lying on my stomach and just have the ice sitting on my back?? #IDK. I REALLY DON’T #Anyway I tried direct skin contact and bailed after like 20 seconds #I have my shirt as a barrier now. But it’s still cold #EVEN SO!! Hopefully it will help with the tenderness and swelling in my spine #Fucking sciatica man. Shakes my fists #Shima speaks #For realsies tho I’ve been in SO much pain this week I’m desperate. I’ll do just about anything to make it better #I even broke out my emergency Percocet Super Pain Killers 😬 #I needed em. Bad #I’m still waiting to hear back about getting an MRI soon so?? #But I know it’ll be absolutely butt fucking expensive. UGH #Maybe I should just walk into traffic. Then they’ll HAVE to fix me #Anyway I’m counting down the minutes. 20 minutes he said I can do that…I can do that…

[mcybree]

Random limlife Scott rant, GO!

I got this ask and decided that I’d give it my best shot but got so mad on my skim through some of the moments I remembered that I gave up.

#Okay im half joking #I got angry enough for me to decide that writing a post without careful consideration would probably lead to an inaccurate little ramble #I need to like. actually sit down and watch limlife and do a full overall analysis #because the context for how scott acts each season is so important. a skim just wont do #The reason I dont have notes on him to share with the class already is because when it was coming out I was pretending that— #Scott grew as a person after 3l and I wanted to believe that so badly I started making stuff up about memory erasure and limlife being— #dubiously real so that I could look the other way when scott started being weird about jimmy again #I was like yeah they barely remember it thats why scotts being uncomfortably weird about jimmy this season #not because scott doesnt think about jimmy like a person and just wants to hear him say words that make him feel better about his— #rough relationship history #not because the idea of jimmy gaining independence from him makes him feel insecure or anything #sighs. sorry im just saying things. again its been a while since ive watched it so I need to actually. Yknow. Watch it before making posts #Its just crazy how he treats it like proving a point more than actually caring #“I mightve given you the 30 minutes last week if youd said love you” he wouldnt have. he was already leaving when he said it #he’s literally just trying to get him to feel bad about not saying it #pretty sure he kills jimmy in the same episode he lets jimmy kill him. Like. He doesnt really care like that #He just likes to pretend that he does. He is going through the motions of caring #Its like he needs to believe jimmy still needs him. in like a possessive way. Its really weird man #I will say though since I see this a lot: I dont think him singling out tango in the 30 seconds scene was intentional #because if im being honest. I dont think he sees the ranchers as anything serious #He assumes tango was just putting up with jimmy bc he had to. He doesnt think tango actually cares about jimmy #in his mind no one actually cares about jimmy. because if scott struggled to care about jimmy and Scott is known for being an amazing ally #that must mean everyone else struggles to care about jimmy. If that makes sense #rant over I think. tldr limlife scott analysis postponed until I get my life together enough to be able to sit down and watch forthree hour #bree barks so fucking loud #asks

[isa-ah]

what a fucking awful experience

#the cop outright lied on the phone about why my ID was confiscated and almost charged me another $40 for a new one #she called me sir when i sat down then realized i was there bc my male ID got taken away and she started using she #but she would drop her voice every time she misgendered me so my phone sitting on the counter recording couldnt hear her do it #there was a full lobby when i got there and they held me until literally everyone else had been cleared out #and then every cop at every desk came over and stood Around Me while i sat at her desk waiting. and waiting. and waiting. #it was just. nasty.blikr they were putting me in a situation to goad me into arguing #why else would they hsve taken up that posture Around Me. and made me wait for 30+ minutes for a supervisor #even fucking worse i wasnt the only one there getting harassed #the last other person they saw was this like 20yo dude who had the tall gangly thing going on #and 2 of the 40smtn cops were going back and forth hooting and carrying on about how skinny and hot he was #and the dude was so fucking uncomfortable it was palpable. lo came in as he left snd said his face was pale and upset #and thank fucking christ lo came in bc otherwise it would have just been my stupid tranny ass sititng there with a ring of cops around me #i get my female ID soon so we can finally get our fucking passports together at least #god. nightmare. nightmare that was awful #my mil bought me tacos on the way home and theyre in fucking flour tortillas i want to DIE

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#its crazy how much easier it is to do things when youre not completely miserable lol #this past week has been weird bc ive felt really really good and like normal in a way thats kinds unfathomable #im hoping its the medication but my mood was already on an upward tilt and i was told it would take like 6 weeks for the meds to work #property but like ive been sleeping way more than usual. and by that i literally just mean 8hrs a night lol which is weird for me #like that never ever ever happens multiple days in a row. so idk. when i feel better it makes the 0cd way easier to manage as well #and im just generally not as anxious. on the more worrisome side i kinda just give less of a fuck so like i have an exam im not ready for #Tuesday and im just kinda like hm fuck that lol. ill go thru lil fluctuations of having a lot of energy too #like: i could run around in circles rn. i dont have to but i could. like yesterday i was out with friends and i was like bouncing up and #down while standing and rocking from side to side while sitting. which i kinda do anyway while in crowds but it was more to expend energy #last night i also got like 5hrs of sleep. so like maaaaybe ive been on the bleeding edge of mood elevation but for the most part it just #feels good and not destructive. like if i felt like this all the time that would b fantastic. its like oh so this is y ppl dont long to b #put out of their misery lol. depression? who? i dont kno her. sounds fake. but as soon as i fucking say that ill b fucking slapped back #down to earth. ugh. annoying. no emotional object permanence. i hope its the meds. if this is the person i am under layers of misery then #that is fucking so insane. we shall see. im curious to hear what the psychiatrist thinks of my brain when i follow up with her #i gave her my full dys1exia assessment which gives a pretty good picture of how my head functions. oh fuck i bet i would do waaaayyy better #on thise test if i took it in this state of mind. but anyway she has that on top of like 3 assessment sheets i filled out #dispite everything i still want someone to categorize me into a discreet box. tell me doc. am i really bip0lar? really really? #ur sure??? like 1000% sure bc my brain wont let me accept that unless its beyond a reasonable doubt. i just doesn't seem that serious. #i mean. it is but like ya kno. its not that bad. ay. this glob of mush behind my eyes runs me in circles #but for now thats ok bc i feel like i could run up a mountain or punch someone in the face lol #unrelated

[dinitride-art]

Does anyone else stare away from their document while writing and think “what would Mike/Will actually say…” and just start flipping through their mental library of Stranger Things until they find an expression or line of dialogue that supports/changes what they’re writing? …or is that just me

#byler #guys please tell me someone else has a catagory #that’s just stranger things #and a subsection that’s just mike or Will #because I was writing something about Will #and I was like #I want him to do this thing for Mike #but how would will actually do this? #and I started searching for any occurances of a similar situation in my brain #or anything that would indicate how Will would do this thing #and I decided on #oh okay he cares about people a lot #but he also doesn’t put up with bullshit #but usually in an unintentionally kind way #because that’s just who he is #but also he’s going to stop whispering and just say aloud to anyone who can hear him #that Mike is being stubborn #and he’s going to get Mike to sit down so he doesn’t pass out #without having to do all the work himself #and idk if that’s ooc but #I flipped through my brain for that #…do you guys write like this?

[soramystic]

The actual Plot of Kingdom Hearts

Okay so here’s something that’s been bothering me that I haven’t seen anyone talk about; the macro story of Kingdom Hearts. Because it’s easy to point and kind of laughingly go “what is the plot of Kingdom Hearts anyway”, and with all the talk of Darkness and Light and Keyblades and friendship and Hearts it’s easy to lose track of so okay. Let’s take a look at what we got. The overall, actual plot of Kingdom Hearts.

So let’s zoom out. Let’s zoom all the fucking way out. The biggest scale we can go to; the two fundamental forces of Light and Darkness.

Kingdom Hearts is, fundamentally, the story of Light persevering. Let me explain.

We start with the Chi-saga. It’s the Age of Fairy Tales, the realm of Light is thriving, and as someone once so succinctly put it, everyone and their grandma has a Keyblade. This is Light at its peak. I’d even go so far as to suggest that this is the only point in the story where Light and Darkness are fully balanced. The Master of Masters does mention a before-time where he and others waged war on Darkness, so maybe not a perfect balance, but the percentages are pretty much even.

But Darkness starts to creep in, do what it does best and corrupt from the inside out. Then Daybreak Town is gone and the Keyblade Wielders are greatly diminished. The ability becomes less common, and those who possess it are to be trained carefully. Missing Link isn’t out yet so we can’t assess the state of the Light during that period, but we don’t need to, because we have Dark Road.

Keyblade Wielders are pretty much entirely limited to Scala, Daybreak Town’s descendant. (…Theory that Daybreak Town/Scala Ad Caelum is a stronghold for the Light, but that’s for another time) From what we see in Dark Road, there are still enough people with the ability to justify setting up a school for, but by the end? Darkness has struck again, and Odin is no longer accepting students, leaving himself, Xehanort, and Eraqus as the last Keyblade Wielders (not counting Luxu and Yen Sid for obvious reasons.)

Which then leads us into Birth By Sleep. How many Keyblade Wielders do we have aside from Xehanort and Eraqus? Well, there’s the Wayfinder Trio, Vanitas, and Mickey. That’s five people. Five. From the thousands upon thousands that we started out with.

And they fall. Eraqus dies. Ventus is seized by sleep, taking Vanitas with him. Aqua seals herself in the Realm of Darkness. Terra is both literally and metaphorically ripped to shreds. They still live, but they are in no condition to protect the Realm of Light, and even if either Ansem or Xemnas had the ability to wield a Keyblade, they wouldn’t want to. Arguably we still have Mickey, but let’s count: that’s ONE. PERSON. One. One person against the Darkness that has broken and corrupted so many worlds, so many people. The Realm of Light is in danger. The Realm of Light is dying. The Light is dying.

So what does the Light do? One last-ditch attempt at saving itself – it takes its Keyblade, and finds a suitable Wielder. And it finds one. A child, bequeathed even, with the overwhelming desire to protect those he holds dear. And the Light thinks perfect.

But Riku chooses the Darkness. The Darkness could grant his wish, and due to the darkness already inside him – jealousy and arrogance, he accepted its offer. So where does this leave the Realm of Light? Any potentional Wielders have either abandoned the path of the Keyblade, or were taken off of it thru no fault of their own. The Realm of Light is done for.

Except it’s not.

Because you can argue that all of this came later, this giant macro story. All this history, this context was added by the later games. Right?

Except it wasn’t.

Because they say it. They tell you outright. They say it in the very first game: the story of Light fading, and how it survived in the hearts of children.

In the face of overwhelming darkness and despair, worlds crumbling and without his friends, without his weapon at one point even, Sora didn’t give up. Even traveling to the End of the World and seeing the shards of the worlds that already fell, that couldn’t hold out, he stared Ansem in the face and told him he was wrong. That the true nature of all things was not Darkness. That Kingdom Hearts is Light.

And so it was Light.

Light persevered in his heart - literally, even; he sheltered Kairi, a Princess of Heart. A heart of pure Light.

Light survives in the hearts of children.

And from there the tide turns. The Light is back, it has a foothold again, it has defenders.

Because that’s the thing. Kingdom Hearts wasn’t threatened by Ansem. If it were, Sora would likely have been given the X-Blade. But he got the Key of Light. Called the Kingdom Key, yes, but still the Keyblade for the Realm of Light. Because the Realm of Light needed his help, the Realm of Light was in danger.

So yeah, after that there are more Keyblade Wielders. Of course there are; the Light is finally able to fight back, once again trying to achieve a balanced state.

The fight against Darkness is never over, and it never will be. That’s how this universe works. But if this series has taught us anything, it’s that no one is ever wholly evil and no one is ever wholly good. Everyone has a little darkness, just as everyone has a little light. You simply choose for yourself which one to nourish.

The Light is not inherently good – we see this most prominently in Eraqus, who believes Darkness must be defeated and that if anyone possesses any darkness, they are evil. But the Darkness is not inherently evil either – as showcased by Riku.

Light and Darkness are two forces who need each other as much as they hate each other, and the power they grant is just that; power. Power is power, it’s just a tool. No morality attached.

The heart is a mess. Not fully good, not fully evil. Not fully light nor fully dark. One cannot exist without the other, and full dominance from either side is no good. The greater the light, the greater the shadow, right?

There must be balance. And balance takes hard work, and dedication, and no easy way out.

And the Hero of Light works harder than anyone else.

That’s why Sora is special. Not because he’s “the only one who can wield a Keyblade” (also who even said that? Riku? Literally what the fuck does he know he was being manipulated by Ansem and Maleficent), but because he was literally the least qualified person in the room and still made it work. Because of who he is. That’s why the Light chose him.

Light perseveres.

Sora perseveres.

That is the plot of Kingdom Hearts.

#hi I wrote this thesis literal ages ago and only recently decided to post it #after reading it again and deciding that I was right and should say it #also spurred on by annoyance at people going 'lol whats the plot' and 'lol why is Sora even the protagonist' like sit down and listen up #get some reading comprehension my god #this is not a vague nor a call-out this is me organizing my thoughts #kingdom hearts #the Sky Speaks #feel free to share your own thoughts as I'd love to hear them #tho if you're gonna be nasty you're getting blocked on sight