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tnyj-3 · 2 years

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In-depth review of Year Zero for the TNYJ-3 Remedy.

This year has been an extremely bizarre experience for me on a very personal level, due to multiple factors, the first of which being this sudden switch in my overall mindset and overall sense of absolute hope and willpower on December 30th, 2021, despite the mental devastation the year caused me. Throughout the course of this year, I have grown to attribute the sudden switch in both mindset and outlook to be the initial hope I had from very early 2020. The second reason for this is because of the very powerful drive and motivation I had during the first sixth of the year, from January to February. I was so driven to make progress that by March, I was burnt out on a physical level. Speaking of March, on March 7th, 2022, the first notable negative event occurred, where my great-grandmother, Margret Hurworth-Seal died in her sleep of sepsis at age 92. At first, I was neutral about it, until March 8th and 9th, when it really began to sink in. Due to this event, three songs were composed by each of the following aliases: Hades Vortexium, Vantablack and Spectralon. The first two composing two individual works in direct response, whilst Spectralon went on to participate in a collaborative piece between itself, Hades Vortexium and Vantablack. By late-March, things began to stagnate a little due to the massive burnout caused by overworking myself a month prior.

In April, not much worth of note occurred, other than the fact that I wanted to document my entire life in musical form. The things I did in April, if I can actually recall, were several shop runs, helping out around the house every now-and-then and that’s basically it. The succeeding month, however, May, was a completely different story. Possibly the most bizarre month of this year, in terms of the earlier side.

In May, I started cataloguing the songs and sounds for my own Life Mixtapes and separated my entire life lived thus far, into five distinct phases, dubbing them “TNYJ-0”, “TNYJ-1”, “TNYJ-2”, “TNYJ-3” and “TNYJ-4” respectively. All five phases (also named “stages”) spanning all of my years lived so far. The cataloguing specifically began on May 20th, 2022 and is ongoing to this day. May was also a bizarre month for the fact that I revisited Gram’s house for the first time in over 15 years and the weirder fact that the entire place, despite the renovations taking place at the time of the revisit, it felt very familiar. The revisit was specifically on May 22nd, merely 48 hours after the initial Life Mixtape cataloguing, which also proved my now weird and bizarre depth of memory. Then on the final day of the month, May 31st, I visited my Nana’s house on my own and in the complete absence of my parents for the first time in about 16 years.

In June, nothing much happened aside from the fact that my more ““known”” Hypertone career turned 2 years old and the commitment of doing shop runs along with the occasional housework.

July was a weird month, akin to May. It was the final month at the college and the first month of having short hair for the first time in about a year. Outside of that, July was the first time I ever hung out with a close friend outside of school in over five years. At home, I (mostly) sat in my room, occasionally spending time with family and doing housework.

In August, my final ever Hypertone song as “Vortex Reaper” hit 2K views on YouTube, thanks to some kid named “DJ Jayden” sampling it in an FnF song for a mod. As a celebration of the anniversary, I did a remix EP for it and it was released on August 26th, 2022.

In September, school picked up again, and thus started “18th year - Salvation - Stage 5: Academic Continuation”. However, the one (good) thing about September is that the debut EP from my duo band project “TeaL” was completed after almost two entire months. As well as the implementation of “Phantom Vibrations”, an alias that focuses on Infinitesimal Slow Music (ISM). Then the most bizarre event of this decade so far (since the outbreak of COVID-19) happened: Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, died. It will probably be the weirdest notable event of mine and everyone else’s (who lived to *witness it (hear about it, at least)) life.

Then, in the advent of this (current) month, the anniversary of my descent into madness is coming up. Because of what has occurred in my country (and around the world at large, for that matter), which have all been negative events, back-to-back. This has resulted in an internal battle between my two primary thought processes and outlooks on life and reality: Nihilistic pessimism from last year and hopeful optimism from this year. Resulting in very sudden switches between the two, of which are fighting for control. So far, this month has been great, with the implementation of Herja Sonus, on October 1st, the alias focusing on unnerving music and compositions. At home (so far), I have been doing housework, unfortunately not spending time with family too much (as I should be doing). This aspect is harder to fix than one might realise, since we are in a post-COVID-19 age, where the lockdowns from 2020 and early-mid 2021 outright killed in-person interactions from within the homes of countless families due to the self-isolation policies enforced by the governments and health agencies. However, despite this truth, I will continue the attempts to remedy this, because I want to be an infinitely better person than I was during TNYJ-3.

Another thing (of utmost importance) that I forgot to note is the growing independence I have acquired. In late August, I cooked myself dinner completely independently. That is, to date, the absolute pinnacle of this year, in terms of practical function.

- TNYJ.

- YEAR ZERO

- 18th year - Salvation.

- 38D

- 18th Year - Salvation. - Day 282 - Week 40 - Day 6 - Month 10 - Week 1 - Day 2

Next update: 31/10/22 or 11/22.

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tnyj-4 · 18 days

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Composed on 6/4/24.

The title refers to the succeeding period of TNYJ-4 - The Spectralon Remedy (2022 - 2024): TNYJ-5 - Post-Remedy (2025 - 20XX).

-- TNYJ

#drone music #tnyj #ambient #2024 #dark ambient #dark drone

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tnyj-4 · 4 months

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Commencement.

This year will be another weird experience, as I turn 20 years old and I will have had the tracheostomy out for exactly a decade, come June 23rd.

This year is the final year of the “Spectralon Remedy” Period, thus, this year’s Life Mixtape Entry will be the longest. As it has an immensely greater importance than the introductory year.

- TNYJ

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tnyj-3 · 1 year

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19th Year - Continuance. - Day 0. - Week 0.

This year will have more willpower and drive than the previous year, because I am determined to make myself a better person, especially since the New Years has commenced.

This year is a continuation of 2022. Hence its name, especially in regard to the intended purpose.

This is the second year of the “TNYJ-3 Remedy” and second “Spectralon Year”.

As such, an entirely new Life Mixtape will commence.

- 19th Year - Continuance.

- Day 0.

- TNYJ

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tnyj-3 · 1 year

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Closing.

In-depth review of Year Zero for the TNYJ-3 Remedy. - Addendum_2 - Final.

In April, not much worth of note occurred, other than the fact that I wanted to document my entire life in musical form.

In June, nothing much happened aside from the fact that my more ““known”” Hypertone career turned 2 years old and the commitment of doing shop runs along with the occasional housework.

In November, I had the most memorable birthday in a long, long time, I got a PC, Gaming Keyboard and Mouse and TWS i12 Bluetooth earphones. I went to the pub with both my parents, having a great time! Other than my birthday, nothing much of note occurred.

This month, however, has been more eventful than the previous. By a large sum. My PC got inspected for damage after not booting up, I got it back exactly on Christmas Day, with it being both setup and reset, I started making music on it straight away. Starting the final large-scale project of my career pertaining to albums: a 404-track LP album, titled “Absence Of God”, which is still in development. Due to my PC’s lack of internet connectivity, the tracks will be released at a later date, however, they’ll still be released very early-on in the new year.

This year has been a success in regard to the intended mission heading into it, given that it was meant to be “Mission Progress” and a “Test” for the remedy’s initiation.

Next year will be better because I intend to put more work and drive into it.

- YEAR ZERO

- 18th Year - Salvation. - Day 365. - Week 52 - Day 0. - Month 12 - Week 4 - Day 3.

- CONCLUDING.

- TNYJ

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tnyj-3 · 1 year

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2022: 18th Year - Salvation. - Day 304 - Week 44 - Day 2 (Month 11 - Week 0 - Day 2)). - 15D-Rem.

In-depth review of Year Zero for the TNYJ-3 Remedy. - Addendum_1.

In April, not much worth of note occurred, other than the fact that I wanted to document my entire life in musical form.

In June, nothing much happened aside from the fact that my more ““known”” Hypertone career turned 2 years old and the commitment of doing shop runs along with the occasional housework.

During October, the month was rather average, akin to September, until the 16th. On 16/10/22, I have experienced the biggest and most deepest blow to my mental health, mindset, motivation and my immediate family, caused by my parents separating as a result of another argument that they had in the evening of 15/10/22. Since then, I have been battling internally moreso than I ever have during this entire year. On Halloween, I went ghost hunting with my father, videoing a 6-part series to document the most memorable Halloween in quite a long while. So far, my mental health is still shit, however, the thing that’s keeping me going and searching for the pure light of hope is my upcoming birthday. The battle is still raging on, with the desire for happiness still prevalent, despite my depressive state of mind (as of 2/11/22).

Today has been a great day, despite sleeping in. I spent quite a decent amount of time chatting with my mum and did the washing up for the first time in quite a while.

There will be a final in-depth review at the end of this month, before the overall review at the end of the year.

- YEAR ZERO.

- 18th Year - Salvation. - Day 304 - Week 44 - Day 2 (Month 11 - Week 0 - Day 2)). - 15D-Rem.

- TNYJ

Next post: 21/11/22 and 30/11/22.

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tnyj-3 · 2 years

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18th year - Salvation - Day 246 - Week 35 - Day 6 - (Month 9 - Week 0 - Day 4).

Today is 3 days after the ninth month during the first year of Salvation and Spectralon Remedy. I am three-quarters of the way there to completing it.

Two days ago, I coined a new alias that specifically focuses on ISM, named ‘Phantom Vibrations’.

However, there are four other notable aliases planned, one of which is positive, the next one is negative and the other two are neutral.

There is also yet another negative event that has occurred, in which the password to Hades Vortexium’s soundcloud account has been changed unbeknownst to myself, so since then, I have felt internally bitter, as well as the fact that I am starving creatively, having not made a single song at home since August last year. So the frustration, anger and despair have returned, but in the grand scheme of things these issues haven’t changed my overall outlook on this decade and life.

- 18th year - Salvation - Day 246 - Week 35 - Day 6 - (Month 9 - Week 0 - Day 4).

- TNYJ

Following post: TBR.

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tnyj-3 · 2 years

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2022: 18th year - Salvation - Day 210 - (Week 30 - Day 5 - (Month 7 - Week 4 - Day 2)).

Today marks the second to last day of the halfway mark of the first year of Salvation.

For the past two months and ten days, I have been compiling all the songs I have listened to throughout my earlier childhood, separating my life into five unique phases: 0: Very early childhood (2004 - 2009), 1: Mid to late childhood (2010 - 2015), and 3: adolescence (of which is split into three separate stages, since the darkness I experienced and the current phase trying to remedy it, due to this it’ll be listed as:) 3-A: 2016 - 2018, 3-B: 2019 - 2021 and finally, 3-C: 2022 - 2025. “But TNYJ”, you might say, “there are only 3 stages of your life!” In the grand scheme of things, yes, there are three whole stages of my life, but if you combine the Vantablack Years, that makes four and the Spectralon Remedy is the fifth and ongoing phase of my life.

I have entire playlists documenting each individual period of my life from birth to now. However, there are two playlists on both Soundcloud and YouTube, from 2019 onwards, since I have used both platforms from when I became a public artist. I am considering a Google Drive release for both TNYJ-0 - Beginnings Of A Bizarre Existence (2004 - 2009), and MOST especially: TNYJ-1 - Curiosity And Exploration (2010 - 2015), as the latter contains proper mainstream music on there (Bruno Mars, Maroon 5 and Ollie Murrs to name a few), then to copy-paste those Google Drive links into the video descriptions. I might do the same for the third, but for the most part, it’s all underground artists.

Currently, the first mixtape “TNYJ-0 - Beginnings Of A Bizarre Existence (2004 - 2009)” has 61 songs, and mostly consists of the intro theme songs for TV shows I used to watch, however, the overall tracklist may be updated upon the mixtape’s actual creation and released, since it has very specific TV commercials that I watched from when I was still a young child. The first three songs in this mixtape are extremely inexplicable, most especially the third song itself, which is the sonification of the Sun, the reason it exists in this particular mixtape is because it is my very first proper memory. Ever since 2015, I have recalled a strange feeling upon observing the sun’s light, it subconsciously transported me back to 2006, and to this day I have no idea why it still does. The two songs before this are by Mozart, and are possibly just as inexplicable as the Sun, but are more logical. Possibly in October or earlier in November of 2004, my mother heard that if you play music into the stomach via headphones, it would make your baby smarter, so she got a pair of headphones (from the late-90’s - early-2000’s) and played Mozart on full volume into her stomach, causing me to kick, because of the vibrations.

The second mixtape “TNYJ-1 - Curiosity And Exploration (2010 - 2015)” has 89 songs, with the kids’ TV show intros still present, but not as much as it’s predecessor. It features many proper mainstream music on there, as in the artists were frequently played on the radio at the time. Whether the tracklist will be updated or not is unconfirmed.

The third, “TNYJ-2 - Introduction To The Underground (2016 - 2018)” has a confirmed number of 84 songs, one of which is a mediocre Watchmojo video from 2015, that I watched a year after its initial release, that is the very first “song” of the mixtape. The rest consist only of Fast Noise Music (Speedcore, Splittercore, Suizidcore, Extratone, Supertone and Hypertone), thanks to that very video.

The fourth mixtape is the year 0 (out of 2) of darkness, the overall phase being: “TNYJ-3 - The Vantablack Years (2019 - 2021)”. But, individually, they are named “VY_0” all the way to “VY_2”. In total, the entire phase has 569 songs, but I would rather release the individual years first before the overall period. The very first mixtape of “TNYJ-3 - The Vantablack Years” is “VY-0 - Age Of Misery And Pain (2019)”, of which has 144 songs, both from SoundCloud and YouTube. This year is the worst of the two year period, several disappointments, a bad first relationship, and (thankfully), a failure to commit suicide. Upon becoming a public artist in late November - December 2019, I attempted an “””ARG””” that died in June 2020. I voiced the pain I was in at the time, though looking back, I did it in a rather cringy manner. In the very, very very early hours of 2020, I gained hope, that everything would be better for me, but then, in February of the same year, COVID-19 hit, and the lockdowns happened, and my hope was slowly eroded over time. By June 2020, after the initial release of Experience_0, the apathy that I felt, peaked. I have managed to find everything I listened to and made that year, and put them in the mixtape “VY_1 - Introduction To Audacity And Apathy (2020)” (fifth mixtape) and it has 117 songs, since I lost my SD cards the following year.

2021, the final year of darkness, was probably as bad as the first, due to many disappointments and frustrations. It was also the year of where I was the most delusional. As the previous year killed my hopes to feeling happier, due to COVID-19, the following year was where I did absolutely nothing but wallow in self-perpetuated despair and misery, hence the “delusions” part of the mixtape name revolving around that year specifically. After breaking my laptop in September that year, I had no real outlet, so I wrote essays, expressing my strong opinions and beliefs at the time. The most notable thesis being “Why Modern Society Is A Disease”, on which I said that we should scrap most laws except the most barebones ones (of which I NO LONGER STAND BY!!). I also (as I expressed more than once) worshipped the past heavily, much like everyone else in my very generation do. This mixtape (“VY_2 - Age Of Absolute Misery, Nihilism, Pessimism and Delusions (2021)”) has the second biggest tracklist of the entire catalogue. With 308 songs total. Which is why the entire period has 569 songs altogether. I was also depressed due to the constant worshipping of the past as well. The worst part is that it is a self-perpetuating feedback loop.

On December 30th, 2021, I gained a new sense of hope for the new year, officially naming it “18th year - Salvation” and thus, the fifth total phase of my life is born: “TNYJ-4 - SY_0 (to SY_2) - S-R_0 (to S-R_2)”, the Spectralon Remedy and Spectralon Years. The Spectralon Remedy is meant to last until 2024, and then from 2025 onwards, it will be the Spectralon Years, until 2029. Where it will then turn into the “Post-Spectralon” years, to signify adulthood. All of this will be documented in music as well. This year’s mixtape is so far, the biggest one of my whole life, with 369 songs and counting. It will be completed on 31/12/22. The mixtape’s name (for this year) is “TNYJ-4 - SY_0 - S-R_0 - Remedy Of 2019” however, don’t let the huge track list get the better of you, as this one is possibly just as bizarre as the very first one (TNYJ-0), as I had to relive my early childhood by searching for the intros of the kids’ shows I watched from 2008 - 2015, as well as search for actual songs I listened to from 2010 - 2021, and I think, the most inexplicable “song” is actually a video of me going to my great grandmother’s house after her death. Why is this inexplicable? You may ask, it is so because the whole time I was there, it felt vaguely familiar, and the reason why, is that I went there during my most primitive years of life (2005 - 2007) and I went there quite a few times too. The audio of the video will be in this year’s mixtape unedited, because it was a bizarre experience, an experience that deepened my hypothesis and own convictions regarding my memory.

My own depth of memory makes me wonder what else have I experienced, and if I can relive it to some degree. This fact is most interesting to me.

Following post: unknown date.

- 2022: 18th year - Salvation - Day 210 - (Week 30 - Day 5 - (Month 7 - Week 4 - Day 2)).

- TNYJ

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