#Tav: i sacrificed my loved for the greater good
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A/N: Blatant Asmodeus propaganda. After betraying Raphael in the HoH to save Baldur's Gate, they steal his corpse back from Meph and entreat Asmodeus. Also. A Dracula gif. To push my agenda.
Raph x GN!Tav: A Pact Struck, A Contract Sealed
Ages have passed, and empires have risen and fallen since a mortal last attempted to bind his Aspect. Asmodeus feels a tickling in the back of his psyche, barely a drag at his near-infinite energy. His awareness fragments and then shifts, searching for the source of the petition. The words come second, the feelings first.
Desperation. Pain. A soul-deep grief. Physical hurt, too, but it's a stinging afterthought. The Lord of the Nine Hells cocks his head to the side, eyes closed. They are petitioning his avatar. They whisper in the darkness. A chill winter breeze howls around them, bowing the branches of dead trees. How fitting, he thinks, that this little creature should surround itself with such things. They wear death like a shroud.
He is not in the habit of entertaining such low-hanging fruit…but there is a touch of something in their desperation, a sweetness Asmodeus has not sampled in many years. It amuses him. And he is not above indulging his amusement—the Archdevil motions with his right hand, passing a fraction of his awareness to the Aspect. The darkness of his throne room fades in favor of a moonlit night—the sickly sweet tang of blood colors the air.
Ah, and there is his petitioner. They sit with their back pressed to an ancient white birch, skin badly frostbitten. Cania's stink lingers across their skin, brimstone and hellfire marrying together. They curl around their prize, clutching a badly mangled figure to their chest. Asmodeus hums, kneeling. Its wings are broken. So many bones shattered.
"Tell me, child." His voice is low and pleasant in the chill air, a warmth chasing along the baritone. "Do you know whose name you have called? The attention you would court?"
They nod, grip tightening on their prince. Tears cut through the mess of dirt on their skin. Crying, he thinks, and what a charming little oddity. Who shed tears for a devil? How curious. How delightful. "Lord Asmodeus, Prince of the Darkness. Lord of Lies."
"Indeed, I am. Pretty titles, aren't they?"
"I thought…" they catch themselves. Asmodeus notes the tremor in their right hand and the way they struggle to stay upright. His presence is overpowering at the best of times; the wounded little creature is fighting valiantly not to succumb to darkness, mind breaking under the weight of his Aspect's attention.
"My apologies, little one. It has been some since I treated with your kind. Allow me." He reaches out with one clawed hand, tapping his nail to the center of their forehead. The ward will protect them from the worst of it. They blink at him. "Continue, please."
Their right hand tightens in the corpse's dark hair. "My Lord, I had hoped to make a deal with you. I know…I am beneath your attention…"
"Most are. The benefit of being a god, I suppose. But it has never stopped me in the past."
Despite themself, they smile. Shuffling, the adventurer turns their burden outwards. Though badly burned, cheekbones shattered, he recognizes the features—so much of the father in the son, an agony to both parties. Mephistopheles' boy stares blankly forward—a hollow shell of himself, a waste of potential.
It pains the Prince to see so promising a resource wasted.
"I made a mistake. I…" they swallow. "There was something that had to be done. And it came at a cost. Raphael…”
"The boy is known to me, child. If I may?" They hesitate. Asmodeus forces his temper down, the air around them heating. He is a god and not in the habit of being denied. But the Hero of Baldur's Gate relents, shifting their burden into his arms. The Lord of the Ninth cups his hand over the pretender-king's mouth, his forehead. Asmodeus shuts his eyes. "Such a waste."
"Can you help him?"
"Do you doubt me, little one?" They shift back, dropping their eyes at the sharpness of his tone—a warning, barely veiled. "Mephistopheles has devoured that which he gave—the infernal. The mortal soul…is uncontested. Lost somewhere in Avernus. It could be located…for a price."
"Anything."
Asmodeus chuckles. He is not ignorant of the sudden rush of color in the little creature's cheeks or how the sound makes them avert their eyes. This guise is pleasant, after all, tall and angular and dark. The wind catches in the blackness of his hair, the long strands falling well below his shoulders. "How dearly naive. I've half a mind to take advantage of such generosity." They shiver under the force of his stare, reality undoubtedly going dark around the edges. He hums. "But…the alternative could prove a more pleasurable distraction still."
The Lord of the Ninth stands, holding out his hand. The hero, Tav, sets their palm in his. He helps them to their feet, settling his other hand on their shoulders. So close, he can feel the weight of their exhaustion and desperation rolling off them, an ambrosia. The depth of their affection for the boy-king. Interesting and useful. Asmodeus touches their cheek.
"I will treat with you, little one, and more fairly than I ought. Your dear one's potential: a few more centuries, a stern hand, and Raphael might have made a powerful piece on the board. His sire is…" Asmodeus tapped his chin. "Increasingly irrelevant. Immutable and tiresome."
Tav stares up at him, such a little thing. And there is potential there, too, the ability to warp and mold this boy-king into something suitable to his grand design. He touches their cheek with a claw. "I will give the means to locate Raphael's soul. In retrieving it, you will prove your worth and dedication. I have no use for the faint of heart. Is this clear?"
"Yes, my Lord."
"Clever pet, very clever." He smiles, chucking them under the chin. "You bring the boy to my court in Nessus, where he shall be given the means to decide his fate. Is that clear?"
"Yes."
What an amusing twist of fate. He bends, collecting the Prince's mangled body in his arms. Tav looks ready to protest, to fight for their dear one (and again, how delightful; Asmodeus cannot help but feel charmed), only to remember what precisely stands before them: a god in truth, the Lord of all the Nine Hells. Asmodeus smiles at them, bowing his head. "I shall keep him for you, little one. You have my oath. Collect his soul, and we will meet again."
He leaves them without another word, a touch of the dramatic, a hint of mystery to whet their palette. Asmodeus inspects the corpse in his arm.
Sweet Prince, broken and bloodied.
Asmodeus will make him whole again.
#bg3 raphael#raphael x tav#d & d asmodeus#asmodeus#my writing#bg3 fanfiction#longfic#by tumblr standards#Tav: i sacrificed my loved for the greater good#Asmodeus: Cool story fam would you like to go on a quest to get him back? We stan some love. Like. For my own gain but.#raphael x durge#Gonna fight the desire to make this a whole ass story lol
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I don't know if it's just me, but I have the feeling that the nastier you are - the nastier the answers in dialogues - the more uncomfortable Astarion feels. My first run's were chaotic good. Even my first Durge couldn't really be evil. And every time I've had Astarion as a romance and I've loved it. Now I've been stuck in a really bad Playthrouh for weeks and that's when it particularly caught my attention. I picked out a few moments where I expected to get approval or an even nastier line from Astarion, and was completely taken aback by his reactions.
Goblin vs Tiefling party
The most romance guides say that Astarion prefers the Goblin party. But at the party he seemed so artificial. he drinks the wine "Mhh, Delicious." Can vampires even drink wine? it seems like a performance from a guidebook.
The romance scene is the same, but a big difference is the dialogue afterwards. It doesn't take place the next morning, but that same night. He doesn't even want to sleep in her presence :D He seems tense, speaks faster and artificially.
After the Tiefling party he seem more relaxed. He speaks more confidently.
_I put a link to a comparison video below_
The Squirrel
If you kick the squirrel as a Tav you get an approval. Treating others badly is normal and shows strength. That's his worldview. But if you kick the poor thing as Durge, you get no approval and this reaction:
But then he says exaggeratedly:
"Do you always take on such terrifying foes?"
If you talk to him in Baldur's Gate, you'll find him a little sentimental.
"Gods, this is the first time in centuries I see the city in Sunlight.You can forget just how much Color there is in the World."
When you reply:
"Are you Alright?"
"Yes of course...obviously. Did you want something?" (little bitch)
But when you answer:
"Come on, we have work to do."
"Mhh? Yes, of course we do. I was just. right...Sorry...What's next?"
This answer hurt me so much that I actually reloaded. (I have a problem with emotions)
Sebastian
In the catacombs of the Szarr Palace, his emotions are understandably very changeable. But for the first time, I didn't care. As the evil Durge, I just wanted to make my vampire lover the villain and leave. However, I found the dialogue with Sebastian particularly difficult and was very surprised by Astarion's reactions to my viciousness.
After that heartbreaking reunion, Astarion realizes that it was his conquests that are now to be sacrificed and is outraged by this. However, he pushes the thought aside and only sees the ritual. Now you can either speak against that and say that he can save these people, then he answers:
"whats the point? They are as good as dead, to me they already were. Now they can serve something greater."
(Seriously. Why do I actually like this character?)
But if you say:
"Gorgeous, you're almost worse than me."
"It's just sickening. seeing them again. I dont know what else."
He doesn't know how to name the bad feeling. but he clearly feels bad.
Astarion's behavior suggests he prefers a good Tav I think, as it allows him to be the "badder" one first. When you play evil, his mask of cruelty seems to thicken. He laughs and applauds at the enslavement of gnomes, but deep down, he seems to be morally conflicted. Astarion is drawn to goodness and wants to be with someone who can balance his darker tendencies. His mask of cruelty is a defense mechanism that hides his true feelings of empathy and compassion. Being with a good Tav/Durge helps him confront his own inner demons and strive for redemption. (I think)
youtube
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Illithid Tav — romance epilogues
EDIT: This has not been fully updated with the Patch 5 party stuff, I'll get around to it ... Someday
I am obsessed with the concept of a protagonist sacrificing their humanity for the greater good. That's why the free Orpheus + illithid player ending made me so fucking happy, up until Astarion decided to dump my ass in the last five seconds of the game, because he can't handle a few tentacles or whatever. It made me realize that as much as I like him, I really don't like his romance. It's just so much giving and so little receiving. I think my character deserves someone who can actually offer him a little love and support and reassurance every once in a while. Including (especially!) after he transforms into a squid man.
So I wanted to go into my second playthrough knowing which of these sluts would still love me if I was a worm.
Unfortunately I have not been able to actually find many variants of these scenes on Youtube. But from what I could find, this is how the epilogue scenes with romanced companions play out if the player character becomes a mind flayer:
• Astarion dumps you. Good Astarion says he is open to the idea of getting back together someday but he needs a break to process things. (Exactly what's going on in his head here is anyone's guess.) Evil Astarion thinks you're icky now and only wants you as a powerful ally.
PATCH 5 EDIT: Despite having six months to come to his senses, at the party Good Astarion seems pretty disinterested in getting back together with Tavflayer, something I'm never going to forgive him for.
• (Crownless) Gale fully accepts you. You fuck offscreen. He asks you to marry him. He even says he will find a caterer who does brains for your wedding. It's incredibly sweet.
• Halsin fully accepts you. You fuck offscreen. You are invited to his anprim commune with the caveat that he will need to introduce you to his followers carefully, for both your safety and their mental health.
• (Good) Shadowheart fully accepts you. You fuck offscreen. She wants to take some time to go on a quest to find herself / spend time with her parents, but you're welcome to go with her in disguise.
• Wyll certainly acts like he accepts you, but he basically makes you his secret attic wife in the name of protecting you, which is pretty fucked up, dude. Halsin & Shadowheart are also very concerned about your safety and have the same impulse to hide you away, but it's easy enough to convince them that you'll be fine. Not Wyll, apparently. (What the hell, man?)
• I don't think Karlach gets a normal epilogue scene if she isn't a mind flayer. No clue what changes in the dialogue that she does have if you're the mind flayer.
• I don't think Lae'zel gets a normal epilogue scene if she returns to the Astral plane, which I believe she always does if you're a mind flayer. Yeah, she dumps you even after you sacrifice yourself for Orpheus. Sad! However. I saw someone say in a Youtube comment that if you are (were) also githyanki then you can go with her, even if you're a mind flayer now. So if that's accurate, I guess that's the exception?
• EDIT: Good news! Minthara is also a squid fucker.
Glaringly, none of these scenes acknowledge that Disguise Self is a spell that exists, and it's unclear how different they would be if they did.
If you know something I don't know, especially if you have proof in screenshots or videos, please let me know so I can update these notes. I have become very invested in finding out which of these clowns are squid fuckers.
#bg3#Anyway I'm not sure if I'm going to go Shadowheart + Halsin or just Halsin next time.#illithid tav#mind flayer tav#tavflayer
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I have so many feelings about Gale and my bb Catheve that I literally just. Cannot keep it to myself. I LOVE the angst of act 2 with the visit from Elminster and I just needed to write a short little fic featuring the conversation after Elminster & That One romance dialog when you first enter the shadow cursed lands. act 2 spoilers and all that.
GalexF!Tav(Catheve) / SFW :)
“I had hoped to introduce you to him in less dire circumstances, but those are hard to come by these days,” Gale’s voice was it’s usual jovial, and Catheve felt her anger rising beyond her control.
“He didn’t seem much of a friend. Showing up and demanding you kill yourself.” Her anger was getting the better of her. She knew the logistics, but that didn’t cool her fire. She was moments away from cursing out Mystra directly to Gale’s face. That she managed not to do so was a miracle.
“It’s not a demand he wanted to make of me,” Gale started firmly. I know, Catheve wanted to bicker, but demanded he did. Gale continued.
“As Mystra’s chosen, he had no choice but to deliver her message, however much it pained him to do so. For Mystra to have sent him… The severity of her bidding could not be clearer. Or weigh more heavily on me.”
Cat’s eyebrows were firm on her forehead. She felt the bitter sting of anger dull into a deep, dreadful sadness. That’s where these emotions were coming from: sadness. Here in front of her stood the man she cared about most in the world. The man who may not even reciprocate her feelings. The man who time and time again had shown intelligence, kindness, and openness. The man who had seen her as she was, not as a half-blood, not as a danger to society, but as her. And he would be taken from her before she even got the chance to tell him how she felt. Because his goddess demanded it.
“Time seems so infinite when you’re young… a month is an age, a year is a lifetime… It is a strange feeling, to realize how little of it one might have left,” Gale trailed on.
“Are you seriously considering doing what Elminster said?” A twinge of bitterness returned to her voice. She blinked rapidly, desperately trying to mask the tears that threatened her.
“Of course - he offered the clearest solution to our problem. All I have to do is find the right place and time, close my eyes, and let go… Then the slate will be clean, wrongs will be righted, the Absolute will be gone… and I along with it.”
The flame burning inside Catheve’s chest lit anew. One life sacrificed for the greater good would normally be a viable option. But not when it was Gale.
“There is surely another way.” Cat’s voice was quieter. Her breaths were shallow with emotion. What about me? She wanted to demand.
“If there was, I’m sure the goddess of magic and the greatest wizard who ever lived would have identified it, but alas… only one solution is offered. But that remains ahead of us for now. The Heart of the Absolute must be discovered before I can stop its beating.”
You will stop the absolute’s heart from beating, and mine along with it. ...Better left unsaid.
“You’re not blowing yourself up, Gale. I won’t let you.” Her voice was stronger now.
“Let’s save such certainty for the moment such a decision is upon us. You may feel differently, once we know what we’re truly up against.”
“I won't.” Catheve said, unusually coldly. “Forgive me if I do not take for certainty the words of a goddess who has treated you so. A goddess who, all this time, has had the power to stop that orb in your chest and instead chose to do nothing. To sit and watch you, her once chosen, her most faithful, suffer. Forgive me if I do not come around to the idea of a goddess like that stealing away from me someone I hold very dear.” Gale would surely say something in return, but Catheve didn’t give him the opportunity. She turned from him and walked firmly to the other side of camp, where she tucked away into her tent and wept. She wept of sadness and guilt. Guilt, for making the situation harder for Gale, and sadness that it might be the last words she ever spoke to him.
There was palatable tension between Gale and Catheve the next morning. Catheve wanted to apologize, but whenever she looked his way she was overcome with immense sadness. Maybe it was best to distance herself. The closer she got, the more it would hurt when he inevitably made his decision.
But it already hurt. When she saw his face - his beautiful brown eyes - her mind jumped to a future where she would no longer be able to look upon it. There would be no more soiree stories around the campfire. No more mini magic lessons, where Catheve could ask any question she desired and not once be met with judgment. She would no longer be able to talk to the man who had weaseled his way into her heart and tugged at the knot of self hatred that plagued her as a wild magic sorcerer. She loved him. Most wholly. And that’s why it hurt so badly.
She felt almost foolish. Gale hadn’t dissuaded her the times she had tried to express more than friendship, but he hadn’t entirely reciprocated either. Now she had denounced his beloved goddess to his face. Any chance she might’ve had was surely lost. She would still fight for his life until the very end, though.
No more than a few words were spoken between the pair all the way into the Shadow Cursed Lands. Gale made remarks that Cat heard, but still they did not talk the way they used to. It was unbearable. He was still here. Their time was limited, and Catheve couldn’t think of a thing to say. She wanted to take advantage of the time they had left. If they survived till night, she promised herself she would speak with him in camp.
Their silence was broken at the end of their first encounter with the shadow cursed. The party panted for breath at the horrid encounter. Catheve wedged her staff into the dead earth to support herself. No one was injured, but everyone needed a moment to rest, and process what they had just seen.
Gale found Cat hunched beside the side of a cliff. Astarion was rummaging through the corpses not far off, and Shadowheart was watching him with amusement.
“It’s quite thrilling, to fight off such grim creatures as this region throws at us. Especially being at your side.” Catheve looked up at him. Meeting his gaze caused an ice shard to pierce her heart, but she didn’t look away.
“I once read a book that explained in some detail the effect a brush with danger has on one’s desires for… other forms of stimulation.” Catheve’s brows tightened as she watched him speak. There was a little bit of… embarrassment in the way he spoke. She could hardly believe it. Was he… flirting?
“Have you ever read anything on that subject?” He asked. Catheve stood up straight and blinked at him. For their first conversation since she had scrutinized Mystra and since they entered the shadow cursed lands, Cat had not been expecting it to be of this nature.
“You’re drawn to me, even in a place like this?” Gale’s sweet eyes softened on her. There was a lot unsaid. A lot they still needed to discuss. But their situation demanded brevity, so he continued.
“I can’t imagine anywhere that could turn my heart from you, cursed or otherwise. You’d always be as beautiful, and as impressive.” The tenderness in his tone almost caused Catheve to fall over. Her first instinct was disbelief. She couldn’t wrap her mind around it. But she knew Gale. He would not lie. Especially about something like this. Her mouth fell open, and she felt the blood rush to her face, but she couldn’t find anything to say.
“Perhaps it’s just the thrill of our near-undead experience talking,” he stumbled. She cursed herself. Her silence wasn’t helping. “But standing at your side through such darkness and disrepair, it only makes me want you more.” Catheve’s breath hitched, and her heart raced. Say something, she scolded herself. Gale seemed to pick up on her silent battle, and finished his thought.
“Unfortunately this is neither the time nor place to indulge such feelings. So, we must be patient and push all such thoughts aside. For now.”
For now.
It echoed through her heart and soul like a drum. It promised a ‘later.’ A future, even just a small one. She wanted to weep again. Not from sadness, or guilt, but from happiness.
“I’ve never been very good at patience,” she admitted quietly, as Astarion and Shadowheart rejoined them. He didn’t reply, but she did catch a coy smile sweep across his face as they headed towards Last Light Inn.
<3
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i dont think ive seen any of ur pcs other than afhiri (who i adore) basically i am here to say if u want share pics and some facts abt ur other pcs!! :D
this is rue she is my durge and her playthrough got murdered by durge related bugs that i didnt wanna deal with and would rather wait for them to fix the cutscenes <3 also known as rue the impaler shes a wild magic sorcerer who got fed up of being one shot and became a tank with a barbarian multiclass <3 afhiri is a resist durge who i can explain best as those uncomfortable and uneasy to be around strange emo girls who stare into ur soul with lifeless eyes. shes pretty... but shes weird
my oc dru kind of got cannibalised by rue but still exists.. cuz dru's intended path literally doesn't work because i made her before i finished the game and the ending doesn't allow her to exist and it would have to be rewritten by me so much that i just don't have the energy so dru just lives in my lil au "what i wish the ending allowed" space in my brain <3 i'm not gonna share a picture because this also allows me to have her exist outside of the games limitations so no picture <3 she's so much cooler than the cc allows <3 dru is a high elf who is delusional and thinks shes actually a fey eladrin and is very uncomfortable to be around because shes just insane. completely isolated from society and the world and would have the hermit background if they didnt remove it .. larian literally didnt want her to exist.
unfortunately due to my pc death i no longer have asuras cc stuff so she will need to be remade but... this is asura shes literally terrible. shes my unfortunately extremely power hungry character who will accept every single option to make her stronger. she fucks mindflayers. and minthara. and she and minthara will rule the entire world together as tyrant wives and maybe they ascend. true love stuff. asura won't live until i'm confident minthara isn't a broken fucking mess . i think playing asura will make me worse. shes like how people play bhaalist durges who love their daddy but shes not the durge. shes just a bad person
THIS IS TAV. yeah his name is tav. they're just a tav man idk. this is my first character from full release tav is an ancients paladin whose entire vibe is "you don't quite suite your oath" and that's fun. they are the most lawful good boring ass motherfucker you ever met and literally my favourite type of character. he's all about Justice and Order and Goodness and Sacrificing Your Happiness For The Greater Good. that kind of annoying paladin! <3 tav never got to finish the game because my pc died and killed them. oh and tav has a twin who dedicated their life to annoying tav because .. like. lawful good paladin? DESERVES to be annoyed
which is really funny because the twin is my EA character! also tav! see the thing is. paladin tav is actually tav. but this monster? tav isn't their name. but they go by tav. just so they can hopefully fuck with their twins reputation. doing terrible things in their lawful good twins name!!! i still can't decide if i want twin tav to work with the guide and kiss nine-fingers keenne or work with the zhentharim and kiss rugan. or maybe they're a double agent and kiss both. idk!!! twin tav has literally no moral compass and just does shit for money mostly. and to make their twins life hell <3
and lastly i have this dude who doesn't have a place on my oc page because he doesn't have a name or nothing like. he's completely blank beyond i KNOW he's something to do with afhiri. so fun fact afhiri's lore was leading towards this dude being some sort of outer planes entity, either a god (dead star) or the herald of such, and baited afhiri through a portal as part of her destiny. this is how she gains her wild magic. BUT this was scrapped for what ended up happening (afhiri befriends a chwinga. cuteness ensues). HE STILL EXISTS IN AFHIRIS LORE SOMEWHERE - HE IS LITERALLY A COMPANION IN HER PARTY - when my pc stops crashing every time i play bg3 he's going to be on my blog a lot because im gonna use fancy editing to make him a companion and shove him in cutscenes. afhiri and he will kiss btw. i definitely don't want him to be actually a tiefling though this is just a form he uses to walk faerun and not to cause any ruckus... and to make afhiri feel ease around him <3 ALSO HES NOT ACTUALLY AFHIRIS GUARDIAN... u will see who is when my pc stops dying <3
#fray.txt#ask#imoge#i might put this in oc tags later i need to think on it but#i hope this is good#its also long#sorry#SLKJFSDFS#I HOPE I DIDNT MISS ANYTHING#I DO HAVE SOME VERY VERY WIP CHARACTERS I DONT FEEL COMFORTABLE SHARING YET BUT#hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii#thANK U FOR ASKING
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BG3 FicFeb SFW - Day 8
A little more of Tav's past slipping through into the present, fears born not of the darkness itself as it first seemed to be...
Short below the cut, very mild CW for implied trauma.
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Day 8 “It will be okay as long as we’re together.”
Tav shuddered at the sound of another keening wail in the dark of the Shadowlands, brandishing her torch at every shape in the ink-black surroundings that looked too much like they were moving, bleeding through the page of reality. Her white-knuckle grip would’ve splintered the wood in her hand if she were holding anything weaker.
“Darling? Is something wrong?” His voice was like a distant echo, barely filtering through her focus on every cracking twig and falling leaf.
She continued, her other hand clawing at the leather wrapped grip of the sword at her hip, as if daring the darkness itself to stop taunting and leap. Hours of walking, with barely a flame to light their way, the flickering light only adding to the eerie way the landscape itself seemed alive with those that were no longer.
“Darling?...” Astarion tried again, his hand on her elbow sending a jolt of fear through her entire body, feet damn near leaving the ground, sword suddenly unsheathed with half a yelp. “Good gods - stop! Enough. We have to go back. You are exhausted, seeing things that were never there.”
“We can’t, not until we’ve found the missing Tieflings. We need less sleep, it’s fine - Astarion there are children unaccounted for out there. There. Where the restless dead walk cloaked in darkness.” He could feel her arm trembling as he kept hold of her elbow, she still did not sheath her blade.
“My love… You can rescue none of them if you fall prey to the Shadowcurse yourself. Please, come back with me. Tomorrow we will start again, and the day after that, and the day after still. But not tonight, not like this, and there is no chance of you sending me back alone - I can see that look in your eye.” He sighed, his grip on her arm loosening as he stepped around in front of her fully. His free hand found her chest, the cool feeling of his touch over where her heart ached in its rush to break free from her ribs with the adrenaline. The fear.
“That’s the thing, isn’t it. I have you, and you have me. I know we’ll get out of this one way or another, even if we didn’t have a room full of snoring companions who fight beside us.” Tears stung her eyes, a hot pain that welled up from the back of her memories. Nights in the dark, the alleys of the city holding living shadows of their own that sought to swallow the screams of any foolish enough to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. “Out there, they have nobody. For a long time, they’ve not had anyone besides a camp full of strangers, elders who aren’t their family.”
“And in them, you see everything you were.” Finally he understood. It wasn’t fear of the darkness leaving her shaken to her core, nor was it simple exhaustion robbing her of her better senses. This wasn’t about saving strangers they’d barely met - in each Tiefling she felt a part of her own past reflected back at her in a harsh light that was not fitting for the cursed lands they stood in. “You will not save them by having them trip over your corpse, nor will you serve them by sacrificing your safety for a couple more fruitless hours of searching.”
“You don’t know that, they might be just around-”
“You said that at the last fork in the path, at every corner we have rounded. They’re most likely at Moonrise - safely locked up where the shadows cannot reach.” He tried to be reassuring, but quickly realised the error of his words just too late to bite them back into his lungs before they were heard.
“That’s what worries me most. The danger within might just be greater than that which the walls keep out.” She sheathed her sword, and rubbed at her eyes. “You’re right, though. I surrender. I can’t go raiding a tower when I’m exhausted.”
She paused, finally letting go of the hilt at her belt, relenting to lacing her fingers through his as she took the vampire's outstretched hand.
“Tomorrow. First thing.” She challenged his gaze, emerald eyes meeting crimson, yet she didn’t find resistance there. Only a resolve that matched her own with a quiet strength in the way he squeezed her hand.
“We will find them. All of them. I promise.”
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Finished BG3 last night! Thoughts and spoilers behind the cut!
When I started the game I had just finished a rewatch of Better Call Saul, and ended up basing my Tav off of Saul and his personality, motivations, etc. At the start she just wanted to survive and come out on top. While not evil or mean, she definitely tried to rig the system in her favour wherever she could in order to survive.
She was selfish, honestly. Though still supportive of her companions and she helped those who needed aid, there was always that lingering sense of "but how does this benefit me?"
In her quest to survive she allowed the Emperor to turn her half illithid, and consumed multiple tadpoles in order to see she got to the finish line. She allowed a strange drow to turn her into a walking fire bomb, and she didn't outright deny any help - even if it meant potentially making a deal with a Devil (or his incubus).
But then we get to the choice between Orpheus and the Emperor - of freeing an unknown and potentially dangerous man, or siding with a damn liar! And that's when shit caught up to her. She realized that this was more than her and her survival, and that she needed to let the chickens come home to roost. She chose to free Orpheus and then became an Illithid herself. She finally made a choice for the greater good, rather than just for herself and what made her happy.
Besides: in for a penny, in for a pound. She was already half illithid, and half her brain was swimming with tadpoles.
We ended up saving the day and saw Orpheus and Lae'Zel off with a smile and a promise to never forget what my Tav had done for them nor their people. Managed to convince Karlach and Wyll to go to Avernus, and convinced Gale to forget about the damn crown.
Later on my Tav broke up with Shadowheart, both realizing that as a mind flayer they wouldn't be able to live much of a life together (when she walked away from Shadowheart her little leather suit was squeeking and I lost my goddamn mind). My Tav wandered Fae'run for a bit, trying to keep her humanity and memories, until the party where she met up with everyone she'd sacrificed so much for.
Other than having a sudden desire to eat Astarion's brain (despite it being 'less wrinkled than most people's), things seemed okay. Not great, not happy, but okay. Gale offered her a teaching position at his side, and Jaheria made her a Harper. But the looming sense of dread is always there - that eventually my Tav will lose herself, and either become a monster as she'd always feared or end her existence before she hurts anyone.
And I like the ending. I like the sacrifice she made. I like how a selfish, inward looking person was able to finally do the right thing and complete an action done out of pure altruism and love. It's bittersweet but fitting.
Overall the game was good! But it needs some polish - especially in Act III. Excited to see if the company can put some extra polish on it and fix things. I'm willing to be patient considering I'm a fan of Cyberpunk 2077 😂
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