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ducktracy · 4 years

Text

129. plane dippy (1936)

release date: april 30th, 1936

series: looney tunes

director: tex avery

starring: joe dougherty (porky), billy bletcher (sergeant, professor blotz), bernice hansen (kitty)

the first cartoon to proudly display “featuring porky”—a trend that would continue on for years and years (my favorites are cartoons that explicitly have daffy in the title, yet the title card still says something like the daffy doc featuring porky or tom turk and daffy featuring porky.) beans makes his last ever appearance for real this time, reduced to cameo, kitty also bids goodbye by possessing a small role, and a glasses wearing dog with an overbite makes an appearance and would reappear once more in shanghaied shipmates. ham and/or ex are the last to survive, making a small cameo in porky’s pet. porky’s time has finally arrived. our hero wishes to enlist in the air force, but quickly discovers he isn’t much good at it. instead, he’s sent to clean a voice operated airplane, and things quickly turn sour—and destructive.

we begin with our hero strolling down the street. he comes across a poster: JOIN THE ARMY — INFANTRY DIVISION. porky thinks it over with careful decision, yet decides it’s not for him. another: SEE THE WORLD — JOIN THE NAVY. the same thoughtful mulling, the same rejection. and finally: LEARN TO FLY — JOIN THE AIR CORPS. the perfect job. porky gives his affirmation with a dutiful salute, and marches inside to speak about the job.

right away, he approaches a burly (and surly) general, who is scribbling away at his desk. porky wordlessly salutes at attention, and is blown back from the impact as the sarge growls “WELL?” porkys says “i wanna learn to f-fl—i wanna learn to f-f-f—“ he can’t quite get it out, and instead resorts to making airplane noises while imitating a plane with his arms.

the sergeant grunts “what’s your name, bud?” and once more porky gets tripped up in his words. the sarge instead hands him a slate and some chalk and instructs him to write his name. a gag too good for words as porky physically writes out “P-P-P-P-P-“ as he continues to stutter his name. to get him to spit it out, the sarge whistles—a common dougherty era gag as i mentioned previously—and porky gives us his easy to remember, alliterative name that rolls so easily off the tongue: “porky cornelius washington otis lincoln abner aloysius casper jefferson filbert horatius narcissus pig.” a fantastic joke that hits really well with the timing. i wonder how many takes that took dougherty—he only stutters a few times. i don’t even have a stutter and i certainly couldn’t spit that out to save my life.

instead, the sarge drags porky by the arm and throws a uniform in his arms. he tosses porky into the changing room and waits patiently for a few seconds. out comes a giant lump of clothes, much to the sarge’s surprise. to assert he’s dealing with the same stuttering pig from before, the sergeant pokes his head inside the oversized collar, and a “hello!” responds from the abyss of fabric. porky’s “hello!” is hysterically out of place and sounds nothing like him, and was likely used for that reason. it’s incoherent, and slightly confusing at first, but it also enhances the gag. to remedy the situation, the sergeant picks up the mass of clothes and dunks it in a nearby barrel of water. the clothes gradually shrink, and we’re reunited with porky as he now dons a suitable uniform.

tex’s love of typography gags is prominently displayed as we get white text on a black background: DIZZINESS TEST. the words whirl around in a circle as we transition to the next scene, the sergeant winding porky up like a top with some duct tape. with a whip of the tape (or ribbon, up to interpretation), porky whirls around the room tasmanian devil style. the sarge stops him and picks him up, just in time for beans to make a cameo by drawing a straight line on the floor. the sarge places porky back down on the line, and he zips uncontrollably around the room.

bullets spell out our next test: TARGET PRACTICE. porky and the sarge are in a different room, both positioned behind a gun on a tripod. the sarge provides a demo by propelling a toy plane into the air and shooting the gun at the plane, hitting it in one go. he grins at his handiwork and offers porky the gun to do the same. the sarge tosses another toy plane in the air, and porky attempts to shoot it. instead, he has great difficulty controlling the gun, shooting everywhere BUT the plane and nearly taking out the sergeant himself. a cloud of smoke fills the scene. once the smoke clears, porky’s left standing on a wooden floor, now finding him outside as the entire building is reduced to debris and bricks around him. the gun and the plane survive the wreckage, and porky gives the gun a frustrated kick. to his befuddlement, the kick prompts the gun to shoot, and it hits the plane perfectly.

READY FOR DUTY. now, the sergeant tosses rifles into the hands of aspiring soldiers, the force of the throw so strong that they each stumble backwards (fittingly accompanied by a gunshot sound effect.) dutiful porky prepares to receive his honor... and a duster is thrust into his possession (still hilariously accompanied by the gunshot sound.) as porky ogles at the duster, the sarge thrusts a paper that merely reads “ORDERS” into his grip and points to a nearby shed. outside of the shed reads a sign: “ROBOT PLANE — KEEP OUT!” perfect for porky to wander into.

porky obeys captain’s orders, and meanders into the shed. he gives a few whistles to alert his presence, and he’s met with nothing. suddenly, a monkey whips a cloth off of a covered object, spinning porky around like a top from the impact. thusly uncovers said robotic plane as the monkey inquires “well?” porky hands him the orders with a loyal solute. “to professor blotz — this helper O.K. for your robot plane tests.”

professor blotz wastes no time interrogating porky, instead showing him his new invention. he drags over a radio and microphone, ordering “get ready!” into the microphone. a signal is sent directly to the robot plane, the propellor whirring to life. “take off!” porky runs out of the way as the plane zooms into the air. professor blotz shows off his fancy voice activated plane, much to the fascination of porky. loops, nosedives, ascensions... there’s nothing the plane can’t do.

now the professor offers the microphone to porky, coercing him with “try it!” porky struggles to get his command out, and the plane comically shudders and jitters in conjunction with porky’s stuttering. the plane does an uncertain l-l-lo-loop d-de l-lo-loo-lo-loop and hastily g-go-goes u-u-up. the plane inches closer and closer to a nearby hot air balloon, and porky manages to order it down just in time. professor blotz yanks the microphone out of porky’s grip as the plane parks itself outside, growling “ooooh, get to work!” and thrusting the feather duster in porky’s hands.

while porky starts his cleaning duties, the professor haughtily places his radio in the window of the shed. out come little kitty, a puppy, and the unnamed dog with an overbite from i haven’t got a hat. kitty giggles as the puppy licks her and asks the dog (a goofy and pluto situation going on it seems) “does he do tricks?” of course! the dog orders his pup to sit up. of course, the microphone picks up on his voice, and porky, who’s dutifully dusting the plane, now finds himself clinging onto the plane which is now sitting on its hind legs.

“wag your tail!” the plane shakes its rear wings to the befuddlement of porky. now kitty tries, armed with a balloon. “get the balloon!” she tosses her balloon and giggles as the puppy chases it. and, of course, porky is thrown into the seat of the plane as it takes off at frightening speeds and immediately pops the hot air balloon, the gag made even more amusing with the detail of two figures floating with parachutes after the accident.

porky is now stuck in a shanghaied plane. kitty orders the pup to chase his tail, and the plane spirals towards the ground in an attempt to chase its own tail. in the midst of the game gone horrible wrong, porky reduces a clock tower to debris as he rams into each “level”. he finds himself flying through a nearby circus. he pops out of the other side of the tent, acrobats performing their routine as they hang from the bottom of the plane.

now led towards the ocean, porky’s plane serves as a speedboat as the acrobats transition into water skiers. the timing of all of these scenes is very well done. just the right sense of urgency conveyed, yet executed so the gags have time to settle in as well. a swordfish leaps out of the waters and cuts the line connecting the acrobats to the plane, and they’re left behind as porky is sent underwater, desperately trying not to cut the fish into sushi. some nice camera angles as porky chases a fish in and out of the foreground.

the plane leaps in and out of the waves like a dolphin, chasing the hapless victim fish. eventually, porky resurfaces with an intimidatingly huge whale hot on his tail. elsewhere, the dog overbite orders his pup to chase a cat (“sick ‘im!”), and porky is sent hurtling straight towards an innocent victim flying in his own plane. the two planes tussle, the poor pilot clinging onto a lone propellor as he sinks towards the sea below. porky tears into a blimp. once advertising “SMOKE ROPO CIGARS”, the blimp is cleverly reduced to “SOS” thanks to porky cutting up half of said blimp.

even the clouds fear porky, taking form of an anthropomorphic human running away from the destructive blades of the plane’s propellor. the cloud man seeks refuge in his cloud house, slamming the door on porky. porky is then launched into a nosedive, shredding a farmer’s stack of hay into a shower of already made straw hats. a group of planes zip out of frame so as to avoid porky and zip right back up into their leisurely positions, the timing spot on and making a seemingly pointless gag much funnier.

a whole crowd of children have congregated around the pup causing so much trouble. all of the kids shout various conflicting commands, all picked up by the receiver. porky’s plane is all but in control, at one point doing back hand springs and zigzagging all throughout the screen. the little puppy has tired itself out, and his owner coos “you’ve had enough”, summoning him home.

good news for porky as the microphone picks up the “come on home” command. the plane skids to an uneasy halt, animation light, delicate, and floaty as the wings scrape the grass. the plane skids right through the shed, and porky is launched out as it crashes into the window. and, with amazing speeds, porky propels himself to the registration office. a sign on the outside advertises the army as porky declares “i wanna learn to march!”

finally, our happy little soldier gets the ending he’s always wanted. bob clampett animates an eager porky marching in the infantry, intermittently flashing hilariously ecstatic grins at the audience. perhaps even funnier is that he isn’t even in time with everyone else’s march, doing a much more hurried speed walk (speed waddle?) slightly out of time. a happy end as we iris out.

while this isn’t my favorite tex porky short, it’s undoubtedly entertaining. speed is a big factor to tex’s cartoons, and it certainly plays a big role in this one, conveying the urgency and out of control nature of porky’s shanghaied plane. the opening almost feels a little TOO fast, with porky getting registered right away and doing all his tests one after the other. it’s a minor complaint, and it isn’t even that noticeable. my ADHD would much rather prefer too fast than too slow. also amazing how, for lack of a better word, relevant this cartoon is today, where voice control becomes more and more popular. not in a durrr technology bad way, but just in a comical way that makes you draw comparisons. a highly amusing short that’s worth a watch, just because.

link!

#lt #plane dippy #reviews #long post #avery

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script-a-world · 5 years

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Hi! I've been debating writing a story set in a snowy realm, but there's a bit if a problem: I've never actually seen snow in person. Does it crunch or slush when you step in it? Does it smell? Does it accumulate quickly or slowly, or does that depend on the intensity of the storm? If anyone could answer these and maybe add bits of their own experience with snow, I'd really appreciate it!

Saphira: ASMR for snow can help with that! But as someone who grew up on a wet little loin-cloth of NY, let me tell you about my experience with snow.

There are two main types of snow when it falls. There is the damp, heavy snow, and there is light powdery snow. The damp and heavy comes down harsher (think blizzards and hefty fall) but they are better for building. Snowmen and igloos in the yard, crisp angels... Perfect snowballs. Round and firm and smooth. The light and powdery snow usually comes down in flurries first, and when it comes down hard, it looks like rain in slow motion. Powered snow is more Hollywood snow- looks lovely but can't be used for much else.

Now snow does more to the ground than cover it. Unless you had a particularly heavy snow, you're not really going to get the "oh wow a foot of snow in every direction!" For about every inch of rain, you get what, a quarter inch of snow? Less than that? Normally what we would get is barely more than a 'dusting', what we called up to an inch for a standard snow. (This varies dramatically for different environments. I would research areas like the New England Area or Northern Canada for different experiences.) With a dusting you could really see how the rest of the ground reacts to the cold temperatures.

Feral: A lot of people, though not all, can "smell snow" before it falls. To me it's crisp, a little bit ozone-y. Mental Floss has an article about the actual science behind it.

How fast snow accumulates is going to depend on the type (heavy snowflakes versus the powdery stuff versus what I usually get which is essentially raining not-quite-hail ice crystals) and the amount of fall as well as how cold it's been. If it hasn't been consistently below freezing, the ground might be too warm at first for the snow to begin piling up immediately.

Saphira: Yes, a lake might freeze over, but it's usually just at the edges. Puddles and little bits of standing water are what really freeze. You know the bits of water that gather at a curb? All thin ice, often "black ice" that is hard to see. Everyone from ages 3-70 steps on them to make them crack. I dunno. We just do. Icicles? Everywhere. Anywhere water could run off of (a roof, the bumper of a car, parts of a fence) they hang like tassels. In heavier snows they are thick and bold, or if it was a steep surface. They are longer before they are thicker. Anyone from 3-70 breaks them off. They're just so break-off-able. Sometimes they're just the right size for a pretend cigar. If you find a BIG one, you will challenge your friends to a dual. Unspoken rules. Also the grass freezes over. Any grass that is exposed will get dew like normal, that freezes almost immediately. Grass is crunchy.

After the plows have been through, all the snow that was on the street will be piled up on the sidewalk or next to it. There will be fewer places to park. They will be these giant banks of ashen snow. They're tall and gross. There will be smaller ones on corners, especially at street lights. People will trample small, narrow paths over the banks to allow people to get over them easier. These also happen at bus stops, or anywhere that people jaywalk often.Then the slush comes. Slush is the aftermath. Slush is the melt, and the dirt, and the decay of snow. It gets in your boots and splashes like rain water and spite. I hate slush. It's gross, it's ugly, and it seeps out of piles of Plow-snow. In a place with a lot of soil, the slush gets soaked up by the soil. The places where it's all pavement and drains? Slush is snow-swamp. Slush is everything we hate about the Everglades, but cold.

Finding the right scent for snow is hard, but it's very similar to rain. It's as if the rain-scent had a cleansed ghost. I only smell it before the snow, because after that the dust of the street-plows kinda kills the serenity of it. As far as sound, only the top of the snow crunches. It happens when some of the snow freezes after being on the ground. Anything beneath that (if you have heavy snow) is a fwhoop. That is the sound of your boot sinking into the abyss. Now you're standing knee-high in snow, with your pants soaking up the water that melts from your body heat. This is why snow-suits were invented. You look derpy but you are invincible to snow's evils.

I don't like snow. It's cold and now matter how much comes down, I still have to go to work.

Constablewrites: It doesn't necessarily have to be that cold when it's snowing. It's the wind, man. It cuts right through all your warm layers and makes your face hurt. I'll regularly look at the forecast and say, "Oh it's 40F it's not that's cold" and then I'll step outside and the wind hits me and oh god why. Insulating layers under your clothes are the key, but then you can get uncomfortable warm inside, especially when you're somewhere with a lot of people. Winter sweatiness is the worst.

You know intellectually that ice is slippery, but the first time you actually slip there's that moment of primal terror as you really understand what it's like. Walking on ice must be done very carefully. Penguins have the right idea: put all your weight straight down. There's an art to waddling.

Snow is like a houseguest. For the first few days it's quite pleasant, but once you're on the second month or so you start hating everything and everyone. But that might just be me.

Tex: Crunching and slushing depend on the type of snow, as well as things like the time of day, how long since last snowfall, and your location (Arctic Circle - snow on top of perpetual snow, Midwest US or Central Europe - snow can melt and then fall some more). It accumulates quickly in winter storms, and slowly during snow flurries and other instances of calm to no winds.

The wikis for snow and classifications of snow are a good primer on the topic. Liftopia and Thought.Co each have their own basic guides on different types of snow, though this is mostly from the perspective of snow sports such as skiing and snowboarding.

Some places are uniquely suited to lots of snow (ScienceDaily), while others are not - snow is as much a product of geological formations and as it is latitude. Snow melting and then refreezing is what gives it that "crunch" when you break through the top layer, and is usually caused by exposure to sunlight + refreezing (from nighttime temperature drops, wind, more snow, etc).

The wind and cold will absolutely do damage to your face if you leave it unprotected - you can get ice burns and windburns, if not outright frostbite. Usually slathering on some thick cream on your face will help, since the moisture will keep your skin hydrated, which reduces the chance that high winds + snow will shred your face. I've gotten both ice burn and windburn, and the feeling of your face heating back up once you're inside can be incredibly painful. (Does that stop me from going outside without a hat? Usually not.)

The walking thing. It, ah- you don't actually have to waddle and hunch yourself over. I'm still not quite sure how that idea became popular - the reason why a lot of people fall over is from a combination of things: putting weight on your heels when walking, wearing the wrong shoes, having the wrong posture (that hunching over thing, conversely also leaning back too far such as puffing your chest out and throwing your shoulders back), and going too fast. I walk straight up - even with a backpack that's often heavier than a small child - and the only times I've ever fallen over are when I've misjudged how icy the ground is, or the evenness of the ground under the snow. The trick is mostly your foot movements; don't roll your feet, try to keep the weight evenly distributed in your feet, and if necessary balance a little bit on the balls of your feet in the cases of uneven terrain so you don't immediately fall flat on your face. If it's windy, tug your hat/hood over your face more (or hold it close to your face, I've done that a lot), curve your shoulders a little bit inward, and duck your head so you can see where your feet are.

There's a genuinely wide variety of snow weather, and I've experienced most types - from the nor'easter of 2003 (1 2 ; my family had to climb through the window to dig out the front door, and had gusts of -60F/-51C - still went to school with only a small delay for the snowplows to clear the roads), to barely Cold TM but lots of freezing rain and black ice, and to slush that sometimes freezes in patches and sometimes doesn't do anything but sit there and make you miserable with its existence.

Depending on where it snows, though, there are... different reactions, and it's not always because of how used to it a region is - I've personally seen panic everywhere from places that regularly get a meter of snow every winter (from locals that are several generations into living there) to places where clouds are rare, much less precipitation of any kind, so infrastructure capabilities don't always have much to do with it with people's ability to cope with weather. Places that regularly get snow just... kind of force you to adjust or convince you to move to climates with gentler winters. People that are used to it and don't panic tend to keep themselves stocked with necessities - rolling blackouts are frequently a thing, as are breaking waterlines from neighbors that neglect to set their faucets on drip despite often getting notices from the city before inclement weather.

I've compiled a mountain of links (in a google doc) from both imgur and YouTube for you to sift through, with the pertinent ones marked with a star.

Lurelay: Snow can be incredibly heavy too, even the light and powdery kind. I have seen whole buildings collapse under the weight of it and sometimes it can grow meters tall on the roof. If the weather gets warmer you will see tiny streams of molten snow drip down the edges of the roof but the snow on top seems to still be intact. Fire- and policemen frequently have to step in and help to push down the snow. Sometimes our rivers freeze, although it has to be extremely cold for that to happen (around -10 to -15 degrees Celsius). The river will still flow underneath and fish can survive in the depths, but the top will either be completely frozen or broken in huge ice floes that float down with it. Lakes and other still waters usually freeze more quickly.

Snow will make seeing at night easier because it reflects light. There's also an element of quietness that comes with it, because snow absorbs a lot of sound.

Miri: Snow’s reflective quality is the part that causes me the most trouble. Part of my walk to work goes through a field area that can be a flat area of undisturbed snow at times, which means it’s just white everywhere. Snow blindness is a thing. I’ve had panic attacks in the middle of it looking around because it suddenly feels endless because your vision is just swimming with reflected light and everything in every direction is just white. Plus, you have no way of knowing if it’s snow all the way down, or if the bottom layer is ice and you’re going to lose your footing. It also makes it really important to have good curtains because it can make it feel bright as day in the middle of the night with all the light coming in the windows at night. Sometimes that’s how we notice it’s been snowing.

#pylons #snow #climate #Anonymous

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sake-and-whiskey · 6 years

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‘Til We Meet Again’

My part in the ‘To Ashes McHanzo Fan Zine.’ Originally, I wrote three chapters for the zine, but due to space issues only the first one ended up being publishes. So now I’m sharing all three chapters on Ao3 for you all to enjoy! Check it out on Ao3 HERE and let me know what you think! Below I’ll be posting the first chapter, which was shared in the Zine, but all three chapters are in the Ao3 link above! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hanamura was a beautiful city, a perfect median of traditional Japan and the infrastructure of the modern era. Bustling streets and neon lights lived alongside ancient fences and hand-carved architecture, cherry blossom trees showering onto loose cobblestone paths that met up with busy highways. Massive skyscrapers glittered immaculately just beyond scenic mountain views, neighbored by classic castles, the apex of old meets new.

Japan had been successful as omnics had joined the workforce, workers that required no sleep and were easily exploitable with little to no legal rights, and funded a massive metropolis. The money that flooded into the country’s economy had begun to run dry as omnics began to fight for their rights, and in recent years the populus had struggled to find alternative means of income, turning to the black market in order to survive. In the wake of the depression, gangs had sprung up, old nobility dipping their hands into illegal dealings where money was mad, and building up massive empires that spread not only through Japan, but across the globe.

It was this underground economy that brought Jesse McCree, along with a select group of other Deadlock rebels, to the historic city. They had flown for eight hours on an economy-class hyperplane only to be immediately ushered into a car by a representative of their contact and delivered at a hotel that was far nicer than any Jesse had ever set foot in. There they had changed from their leathers and gang colors into finely pressed, though still cheap suits, to wait for the sleek black car that picked them up. An omnic driver with a faceplate like an ancient Japanese warrior’s mask opened and closed their doors for them before he pulled away towards Shimada Castle, a clear display of hospitality as much as dominance. The Deadlocks were a big name in New Mexico and the southwestern United States, but they had yet to go global. The higher ups were hoping that a business agreement with the lofty Shimada Clan in Hanamura would be what they needed to become an international powerhouse in the illegal arms dealing market. The negotiations had been set to take place in Hanamura, the base of the Shimada Clan’s operations, with a small group of Deadlock representatives assigned to complete negotiations in a week’s time.

McCree wasn’t a fan of the theatrics that big trade deals required. He would have much preferred to simply schedule a face-to-face meeting, power through negotiations, shake on it, and be on his way. The man had great disdain for the false smiles and compliments, the suits and ties and big-wig dinner meetings, the fancy cars picking them up to usher them about like school children. It was maddening, irritating, and downright showboating. Jesse was sure he would have liked the scenic views of the lofty castles and beautiful cherry blossom covered roads that passed by the car window under any other circumstance. Yet now the beauty was soiled, ruined by the fact he’d been forced to take off his hat, earrings, belt buckle, and all other personal effects, leather chaps discarded on the floor of the hotel room to be replaced by black dress pants that were far too constricting. He had barely managed to convince Tex, the leader of their small party, to let him wear his cowboy boots, which he had agreed upon so long as he took off the spurs - a compromise McCree had only begrudgingly agreed to. His bandana had been folded neatly and stuffed into his suit pocket, a flash of color on the otherwise unicolored outfit.

He listened to the chatter of his teammates, some gruff and irritated, others more cheery, excited at the prospect of this exotic and foreign new land. McCree wasn’t big on leaving the States. He was content in his small corner off the Southwest; the familiarity of the Santa Fe sun and soil was all he needed. A simple life for a simple man. Jesse was young, only seventeen years old, but gang life had forced his maturity, shedding his adolescence for the spoils that came from a life of crime. He’d always seen the Deadlocks ride past the trailer park like a pack of wolves, steel horses thundering as they rode glittering motorcycles, hooting and hollering, the epitome of cool. The Deadlocks were the closest to the old western movies his grandfather had played on the holovid, all sex appeal and grisly badassery. They were real badass motherfuckers, every boys dream. Bikes, guns, booze and money are very appealing to a poor boy living in a trailer park in the New Mexico desert. He had dropped his old life at the age of fourteen to run with the Deadlocks. The glamor had started to fade as he’d moved up in the ranks, but he was addicted to it at this point. Jesse McCree was a young punk trying to make a name for himself in a world that found him useful yet expendable, nothing more.

He didn’t bother to join the small talk, tuning out the low conversations in favor of taking in the scenery. The city was beautiful, certainly, seemingly lost in time, a bygone era living peacefully onward. A woman and an omnic dressed in long pastel kimono chattered happily on the cobblestone sidewalk, twirling umbrellas in their hands. Shops glittered with neon lights, street peddlers selling their wares. The air was crisp and the cherry blossom trees swayed in the wind, ever weeping their soft pink petals onto the ground. “Genetically enhanced,” the representative at the airport had told him with a fake smile, “bred to bloom year-round.” A beautiful lie, just like the rest of the city, he mused to himself. It tried its best to maintain an air of unassuming grace, but McCree saw right through the façade. He could make out the familiar shape of people in the alleyways, making exchanges, then parting as though nothing had happened, fish venders with long tattoos peeking from the wrists of their sleeves, a dirt covered boy in tattered clothes holding a cup, quietly begging for change. Some things were the same in every part of the world, he thought passively, poor people everywhere just trying to get by.

His silent ponderings came to an end when the car rolled to a stop in a dead end, suddenly aware of the massive wooden walls that had replaced the nearby buildings. A welcome party seemed to be set out, a beautiful well-dressed woman in a long dress stood as still as stone with a group of men in suits standing on either side, smile painted on her lips. The Deadlocks straightened at once, Tex whispering words of encouragement as they attempted to be presentable. Once again, the omnic driver stepped out and opened the door for them, and again Jesse resented it, but tipped his hat good-naturedly. If the omnic appreciated it, he gave no sign.

Once they stepped out of the car, McCree was painfully aware of how small they were, boxed in by the high walls. Two dragons were carved into the walls behind the welcome party, chasing after each other in a perfect circle. More theatrics. “Pretentious bullshit,” Jesse muttered to himself before the woman stepped towards them and he quickly plastered on his most charming smile.

“Gentlemen,” the woman said in a voice that was soft and warm as she gave a gentle bow, “Welcome to Hanamura. I hope your trip was a comfortable one.”

“Reckon it was, sweetheart,” Tex spoke up, stepping forward and returning the bow. Jesse was glad he was the leader on this trip. He didn’t know if he could stomach this level of horseshit and backhanded compliments. But the way Tex handled it all, cool cowboy saddling up with a smile and a wink, made it seem all too easy. It was inspirational. “Y’all made the trip mighty nice for us.”

The woman nodded quickly. “Of course. It is simply the courteous thing to do. You are our guests after all.”

“Yes indeed,” Tex agreed, “We got here fast as we could. We’re eager to start trade negotiations as soon as possible-”

“There is time for that,” the woman interrupted, smiling apologetically though her smile did not reach her eyes, “For now, we would like to give you a tour of the grounds, and then later the master of the grounds will meet with your main spokesman to discuss business. I hope that is acceptable.”

A murmur went up between the other Deadlock members, eyeing each other up incredulously. The man in charge wasn’t even there to greet them. A ballsy move, another display of dominance with a clear message. They were on Shimada time, not the other way around.

But Tex only nodded, smiling graciously. “Well then, we’ll gladly accept your hospitality. Lead the way, ma’am.”

Tex’s answer seemed to be the right one, because the woman’s smile grew, and she gave a sweeping gesture to the huge wooden gate behind her. “Gentlemen,” she said, bowing low once more, “Welcome to Shimada Castle.”

The great door gave a loud groan of protest as it was opened, massive walls sliding to reveal what they hid from prying eyes. Jesse felt his eyes widen in spite of himself, lips parting in surprise as Shimada Castle came into view. If Hanamura was the median of past and present, the castle was like stepping back in time. Cherry blossom trees hung low around ancient architecture, sand gardens bridging the gap between buildings with large stones strategically placed. Music played softly in the distance, though he couldn’t see where it came from, some twangy strings that whispered familiarity of home but still foreign as the rest of this land. Yet another welcoming party stood in the center of one of the nearby buildings, unfazed by the fantasy in which they stood.

One of his teammates whistled low and appreciatively, and Jesse agreed wholeheartedly as they all made their way inside the gates. One of the suited men in the first welcoming party ushered them along the path to the next building, and McCree absently nodded his thanks, still eyeing up the amazing scenery, catching a glimpse of even more castles in the distance. They were led through a beautiful courtyard into a huge hall, sweeping ceilings dimly lit. A lone scroll of calligraphy sat in the center, and Jesse looked up to see a massive mural of two dragons, one green, one blue, locked in a swirling embrace. The whole thing felt like a scene from a movie, a perfect fantasy hidden away behind closed doors. It was surreal, unlike anything he had ever seen.

“The meeting room is just past here.” Their guide’s voice brought Jesse back down to earth, ripping him from the fantasy with a soft yet firm tone. He glanced over to see her gesturing to a doorway past the scroll, ushering along Tex. “My superior has requested that only your top man be involved in the negotiations for privacy reasons, is that correct?”

Tex nodded assuredly, stepping forward. “That’s mighty fine. But what exactly are my companions here meant to do while we discuss?”

The woman offered a tight lipped smile, gesturing to the entrance whence they’d come. “They are free to wander the courtyard and surrounding gardens as they see fit. Shimada Castle is under constant surveillance, so they will be escorted from any private areas and returned back here once the negotiations are complete.”

A murmur passed through the Deadlock members as they glanced at each other. To let them wander around the castle unattended was a bold move, but a show of power all the same. ‘Constant surveillance,’ Jesse mused. There were men in suits stationed periodically around the complex, and no telling how many cameras were hidden, recording their every move. It was a polite way of telling them they were being watched, a gentle threat to dare to try something.

But Tex only nodded again, running a hand through his greasy hair. “You heard the lady, gents. Take a gander around, enjoy the sites. I’ll see y’all in a bit.”

The woman bowed to the group once more before turning, Tex following close behind up a small flight of stairs until the two rounded a corner and disappeared from sight.

The remaining gang members exchanged small talk and basic conversation before deciding it really would be best to split up and explore. It was the chance of a lifetime, and they could potentially gather valuable intel. Plus, after being openly invited to enjoy the complex, it would be extremely disrespectful not to. So after a few minutes of deliberation they broke up and Jesse McCree wandered off on his own.

He took the route to the east of the great hall, wandering across bridges and beneath ancient pathways, through cobblestone twists and turns. Occasionally he would pass someone, like a group of servants or one of the many suited men. They would bow politely in passing, and he would reach to tip his hat, only to realise it wasn’t there and card his hand through his hair instead, nodding quickly.

He lost himself in thought as he walked, cherry blossom petals falling and getting trapped in the wiry locks of his dark hair, a splash of color like the bandana stuffed in his pocket. Up, up, up he went, taking flight after flight of stone steps, from one level, across platforms, to the next level, mindlessly wandering. It was rare he was given the opportunity to simply explore. Despite the promise of freedom he had joined for, Deadlock kept its members on tight leashes. Time fell away as he walked, mind on nothing and everything at once. His drifter blood kept him going, wandering without a care until he reached the final steps, stopping short when he realized he had made it to the top of a tower, and could see the entire expanse of Shimada Castle and the surrounding city.

It was as breathtaking as it had been when the gates had opened, but magnified by a thousand. The castle was bright, pinks and greens a stark contrast from the urbanization of the city just outside its walls. It was as beautiful as the sunrise in the desert, the view of New Mexico that had made him fall for the drifter’s life in the first place, he thought with a smile. So different from where he was from, and yet, just the same. Little similarities drawing him in and making him fall in love with the sight.

“Just like home.” He sighed contentedly, drinking in the view.

“Is that so?” A voice came from behind him, ripping him from his revelry. He whipped around, instinctively reaching towards his belt for a pistol that wasn’t there, flustered, before stopping short.

The man who stood there put the view to shame, and Jesse burned the sight into his mind. His dark eyes bored into McCree’s, striking as his proud features. Strong jaw, sharp nose, amused smirk, brow cocked in amusement. Long hair that spilled over his shoulders, framing his regal face. Arms folded over his chest, loose clothing hanging in beautiful blues from his arms and down his body. Masculine, powerful, radiating strength. In his short life, McCree had never seen any real person so stunning, and he doubted he ever would again.

A beat passed, and the man chuckled, cocking his head. “Do you not speak English? I had thought that was the language of America.”

Again McCree was ripped back to reality, but this time he was prepared, regaining his composure quickly. “Oh I speak English fine, thank ya kindly.”

The beautiful stranger smiled approvingly, though it looked more coy than anything else. “Well isn’t that fortunate. You are a member of the Deadlock negotiations party, are you not?”

McCree nodded, shooting back a grin of his own. “Sure am. What gave it away?”

The man chuckled, eyes warming. The sound was beautiful, rolling like brass, and sent chills down McCree’s spine. “I have been summoned to return you to the hall. Negotiations have been completed, so your visit to Shimada Castle is coming to an end.”

At this Jesse straightened, face screwing up in confusion. “Already? They finished negotiations that fast?”

A hesitation as the man raised an eyebrow, measuring his words before responding. “It has been well over two hours. There was not much to discuss. Agreements have been made, and it is time for you to return to America.”

McCree recoiled in surprise. Over two hours? He really had lost track of time. But he didn’t have long to muse over it, as the stranger began to turn away, motioning for him to follow. “Shall we go? It is best we don’t leave your companions waiting.”

“Ah, right,” Jesse said quickly, and gave one last look out over the city, the castle, the perfect fantasy of Hanamura, before following behind the stranger.

The two walked in silence for a good part of the journey back to the gate, though Jesse was consumed by his thought. Specifically on the beautiful stranger, the way he walked like a god among men, the way his hair fluttered softly in the gentle breeze. Every time they passed someone, they would bow deeply, much more than they had when McCree had been on his own, and the man would wave them off politely but dismissively. Jesse wanted to ask why, but was in no rush to cause an issue on his way out of the palace. So instead he decided silence was best and walked quietly, enjoying the scenery and the sway of the perfect stranger’s hips.

The silence was broken just as the top of the great hall came into view, the stranger turning to him with a look of serious concentration on his face. “You never gave me an answer,” he said sharply.

McCree cocked a brow, tilting his head in confusion. “Uh. Come again?”

“I asked you how Hanamura was just like your home, like you said up on the tower.”

Realization hit him and he laughed, nodding. “Oh yeah, suppose you did, huh? Well, it ain’t anything serious. Just…”

“Tell me,” the man asked, voice softer this time.

“Well,” McCree hesitated a moment before locking eyes with the man, “It’s just a feeling. A feeling of lookin’ around and seein’ what true beauty is. Bein’ alone, hidden away from all life’s problems, and just enjoying what you see. It feels like you got the whole world at your fingertips, like nothin’ matters but you and the view. I’ve only ever felt like that in two places, and that’s Hanamura and back home.”

The man seemed to consider his words before offering up a warm smile. “That sounds like a wonderful feeling. To know true beauty.”

McCree saw the opportunity and took it, smiling slyly. “Well I coulda told you a thing or two about true beauty after seein’ your face, darlin’.”

The man scoffed, then snorted, then broke out into a laugh once more, that same brassy sound that had given Jesse chills earlier, and did so again. He wanted to say something more, to hear that rich voice and that ringing laugh, but the two had reached the entrance to the hall. He could see his teammates gathered in the center and felt his heart grow heavy, disappointed he didn’t have more time. When his eyes met the strangers, he could see a disappointment reflecting his own painted on his features.

“Here you are. I hope you enjoyed your visit to Shimada Castle, Mister…” His voice trailed off.

“McCree. Jesse McCree.” He smiled weakly.

“Jesse McCree,” the man repeated, and Jesse felt a spark shoot down his spine at the sound of his name on the other’s voice.

“Aye Jesse! You ready yet?” a voice called, breaking the two from the other’s gaze.

“You should be going,” the man said quickly, turning away. “I hope you have a safe journey home.” He quickly moved to walk past Jesse, but the gunslinger moved, grabbing his arm gently. Their eyes locked, burning for a moment where time stopped and all that existed was the two of them.

“Wait, what about you? What’s your name?” he asked in a low voice, heart beating wildly in his chest.

There was a moment of silence before the stranger pulled himself from McCree’s grip, taking a step back, steadying himself. He opened his mouth, thought better of it, hesitated, before finally he spoke.

“Hanzo,” he said, voice barely above a low whisper. His eyes lost their fire, and for a moment he looked pained before turning away, muttering, “Remember this moment, Jesse McCree. Do not forget the beauty you found here.”

And with that, Hanzo darted off.

“I won’t,” Jesse whispered roughly, heart full of longing as he stood for a moment, head a whirlwind of emotion, before he shook his head, sighed, and headed back towards his companions in the center of the great hall to begin the journey home.

#samatura #samatura writes #sake and whiskey #mchanzo #jesse mccree #hanzo shimada #to ashes #to ashes zine #to ashes contributor

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lamaisongaga · 6 years

Photo

FASHION CREDITS: ‘FAME’ COMMERCIAL

Lady Gaga teamed up with world renowned photographer Steven Klein for the commercial of her first, and the first ever black fragrance ‘FAME’ back in 2012. The flacon with metallic claw-like cap was designed by Nick Knight, inspired by Gaga’s Grammys egg-shaped vessel.

Styling by Brandon Maxwell and Sophia Phonsavahn. Hair by Frederic Aspiras. Makeup by Tara Savelo.

Firstly, Gaga poses head-to-toe in black latex. The liquid-like catsuit and opera-length gloves were custom created for the campaign by Latex-specialized designer Jac Langheim.

Her light-catching black latex hat and velvet mask are custom Philip Treacy while her chunky sculpted platform boots are custom Atalanta Weller.

The heels are made of leather and latex with a hand-painted finish. “Fame is an illusion. If you really want it, anyone can have it”.

Risqué is not enough. While Gaga wears nothing but a few drops of “Fame” and a custom black molded rubber mask by Jac Langheim, all the male models wear wearable sculptures by Dutch sculptor and designer Rein Vollenga which were produced by Haas Brothers. “Everything I make is one-off, and I also don’t really have a concept. I collect a lot of objects that I find in the streets, or in supermarkets, or in party stores, and I always scan everywhere when I’m walking outside. To me, the objects that I collect are quite ambiguous.” Rein says.

The underwear of the models are by Male Power and the fingerless gloves by Skingraft.

Gaga’s shoes in this scene are the Pleaser Dagger-01 black patent pointed-toe pumps with silver metal heel.

While emerging out of a giant black mouth-shaped bath tub, Gaga wears a black liquid dress was custom made for her by slime artist Bart Hess.

Her black crown was custom-made by Los Angeles-based sculptor and special effects costume designer & fabricator, Salvatore Salamone.

The crown, an exclusive photo of you can see above, is an aluminum and foam frame covered in aqua resin then coated with black epoxy.

Here the dominatrix wears a custom made silicone rubber cropped V-neck top and maxi skirt with asymmetrical back zipper & slit combo by Rachael Barrett.

Her platform lace-up ankle boots are by Pleaser.

The models on the left wear underwear by Male Power and the aforementioned custom headpieces by Rein Vollenga x Haas Brothers.

The models on the right don headpieces by Jacob Roanhaus and red Diana Do capes, everything custom-made for the “FAME” commercial.

Next, Gaga is seen wearing a black laser-cut sheer dress, custom made for the commercial by Jakarta-based couturier Tex Saverio.

Love this look! Gaga kisses her obedient men while rocking a black cut-out bodysuit from Mugler’s Spring/Summer 1991 collection.

The model on the left rocks S&M rope as a top and the Black Drop mask, a custom creation by Joji Kojima.

This fit young man is wearing one of the Rein Vollenga x Haas Brothers mask that was paired with a pair of black pants by Perry Ellis and long leather gloves by Skingraft.

Gaga has personally asked the famous Dutch lingerie designer Marlies Dekkers to create an exclusive bra specifically for the commercial.

She requested a black crystal-studded piece that embodies the power and creativity she stands for and that still carries the marlies|dekkers stamp she loves so much.

Marlies has chosen Swarovski elements as a partner for this project and this is the result: one-of-a-kind “FAME” bra, a customized version of the well-known Space Odyssey bra.

Her black fox tail trim cape is signed by Adrienne Landau.

Always had the urge to show you these! Gaga’s eccentric pair of sunglasses for this scene were fruit of the collaboration between MYKITA and Rad Hourani. The Rad shades boast an oversized, shield-like shape.

Her black leather platform wedge ankle boots are made by Giuseppe Zanotti.

The last look features a custom-made mesh neckpiece by Alexis Bittar. Plus “Tears of Belladonna, crushed heart of Tiger Orchid with a black veil of Incense, pulverized Apricot and the combinative essences of Saffron and Honey Drops.”

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femslashy · 7 years

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hey hey, so, you're from Texas and I'm not even north American but I'm researching of schools in there but all I hear about Texas is the stereotypical shit and I wanted to hear (read tho) an inside opinion from a queer fella about the place.

hello! i don’t know if you wanted my opinion as a lesbian because i’m basically a baby gay who’s slowly being shoved into the community by her therapist but i 100% am not qualified to give much of an opinion on that lmao i can tell u that austin is probably the most accepting city here and dallas is as well i don’t really know about houston or san antonio but definitely avoid small towns which is probably obvious :p

idk really where to begin without knowing what stereotypes you’ve heard so i might have googled “texas stereotypes” whoops sorry if this gets long i’m going from the list i found an also from things i remember from convos with my friends from other countries

texas is not a desert! well parts of texas are but we actually have 4 separate biomes and the part i live in is prairieland! (well it was until people developed the living fuck out of it)

we have a lot of typical country towns but it’s also pretty urban like omg man houston is huuuuge like i thought dallas was big but omg man houston

some of the stereotypes are true x.x texas loves itself very much we even have our own flag and pledge for that flag isn’t america great :)) you will also see the flag and the lonestar EVERYWHERE

texas likes guns texas doesn’t like to hide it’s guns there are signs in restaurants and schools and stores that tell not to bring those guns in there we can also open-carry which is pretty scary cuz sometimes you walk into the doctors office and a dude has a handgun on his hip and for a good 15 seconds ur convinced ur about to die

not everyone wears cowboy boots/hats! except those douchey dallas boys who think their from the country but they suck and should never count for anything ever (for the most part you’ll see people wearing them for work)

the darker ur jeans the more formal they are

we do not actually do around saying “don’t mess with texas” it’s an anti-littering campaign

i have never heard anyone say “the higher the hair the closer to jesus” unironically

i do say “everything’s bigger in texas” when i see large things

texas is big. like really big. i feel like this is obvious but bruh it’s so big

don’t be a vegetarian here it’s really hard trust me i know

there are 20 churches within 5 miles of my house so yes all of those stereotypes are tru

google megachurches. just do it.

religion plays a big big part in society so much that half the time u don’t really notice? idk i’ve lived here 12 years i probs have stockholm syndrome

austin is a nice place to live but if u move there everyone will hate u

seriously it’s so overcrowded

nice place to be a vegetarian tho

football is a big deal, especially high school football seriously it’s like a religion

yaint is a thing

if it can be fried we will fry it and serve it at the state fair

even if it can’t be fried we will fry it and serve it at the state fair

texas barbeque is different than regular barbeque even i, a vegetarian for 15 years, know this

tex-mex was invented by us

also the frozen margarita y’all’re welcome

texas is actually pretty diverse! especially in the dfw area

seriously my city has three official languages (english, spanish, and vietnamese)

separation of church and state? what’s that??

“bless your heart” is the best drag omg

everyone will assume u go to church

so we don’t ride horses everywhere except one time i went to jamba juice and a girl was just chilling outside with her house it was a very texas experience

not everyone drives a pick up

y’all is more pleasing to the ear than you guyses and i will fight anyone who says otherwise

we don’t all love country music and not everyone is in the oil business

or ranching

but people do like to keep animals on undeveloped land cuz then they can pay less taxes on it

everything is super far apart

have i mentioned it’s big?

i’m from connecticut and the area i live in right now is bigger than the whole state

we are very very very red

no matter how hot it is someone will always tell u they’ve been in hotter weather

we cannot drive on snow or ice and thems the facts

despite what our former governor used to say we cannot and never have been able to legally secede

we do however have our own power grid and isolated economy so if we did leave the us for some reason we’d be okay

probably

people will fight you over whether or not beans belong in chili

i can’t think of anything else and omg i’m sorry this got so long ahaha if you have more questions my askbox is always open as i don’t really have much experience with schools here except by proxy but we do have pretty good schools!

#ahaha you sent this right before i went to sleep last night #yikes i hope u see it lmao #here is a texas education for all y'all #katie omg what even is this #anyone will more texas experience can add onto this okay bye #Anonymous

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thiswillbereportedtomanagement · 7 years

Quote

Hands up: anyone who hasn’t looked at a runway show and thought, WTF? If a six-foot-four Scandinavian Adonis can’t pull off Rick Owens’ glory hole trousers, how on earth can we average men? Even when such trends trickle down to the high street, they can present all sorts of problems – we’re either too short, too fat or just too sane to even launch an attempt.But tricky clothing shouldn’t be discounted entirely (unless it is actually glory hole trousers). As guys take more wardrobe risks, we spoke to style experts about how to steer such pieces from wacky to wearable. And the solutions are much easier than you’d think.Cargo TrousersCargo trousers: once military uniform, now an on-trend essential in many a man’s kit. But despite the recent surge, they still cause boyband-triggered Vietnam flashbacks nationwide.“The solution is in the fit,” says Luke McDonald, associate stylist at men’s personal shopping service Thread. “Make sure your cargo trousers don’t pool or bunch around the ankle – a slimline shape should sit just above your shoes and will flatter most physiques.”(Related: How To Wear Cargo Trousers)In addition, to make sure your style doesn’t go MIA, McDonald suggests flanking cargo trousers with simple staples such as cable-knit jumpers, desert boots and plain T-shirts in earthy hues or darker neutrals such as black and navy.Key PiecesNext Laundered CargosNew Look Light Grey Cargo TrousersBroome – Garment Dyed Cargo Pants Relaxed Slim FitRiver Island Black Slim Fit Cargo TrousersJean Shop Gene Slim-fit Cotton-twill Cargo TrousersTodd Snyder Infantry Herringbone Cotton Cargo TrousersTechnical RainwearTechnical rainwear is usually a terrifying reminder of sopping wet school trips and dry-as-a-bone Geography teachers, with most pieces falling firmly into the nerdwear remit.“Wearing technical rainwear is a problem because it often looks like you’re wearing exactly that,” says Mr Porter style director Olie Arnold. “Traditionally-speaking, they’re not the most stylish of pieces, with boxy and unfitted shapes more associated with the great outdoors.”But it isn’t all bad: “Brands are now placing technology from active sportswear within more stylish designs,” adds Arnold. “Look out for Nike Lab and Loro Piana – both offer pieces that have more in common with a blazer, which suits just as well over a suit as it does with jeans or sneakers.”(Related: Making Sense Of Technical Fabrics)Key PiecesTopman Stone Parka CoatRains Four Pocket Jacket BlueHerno Laminar Slim-fit Gore-tex Paclite Shell RaincoatNike Nikelab Acg Convertible Gore-tex Down JacketLoro Piana Blue Voyager Storm System Shell BlazerAcronym J50-s High-density Gabardine Climashield Bomber Jacket Raf GreenJoggersJoggers as part of an everyday, or even a tailored, look is something that has been on the menswear radar from several seasons now, so you’d think we’d have got the hang of it. But as Tom Courcey, editor at menswear etailer The Idle Man, points out – the wrong cut, fabric or colour can banish a whole look back to the weights bench.“Since joggers are usually worn around the house, they need to be styled in a polished way,” he says. “Many men take loungewear outdoors without remembering that they’re still head-to-toe in loungewear.”The solution is to choose the right separates elsewhere: “Opt for a slimmer, fitted pair in grey marl or black – a cuffed ankle will also result in a smarter silhouette,” adds Courcey. “Then team with a white tee, structured bomber and minimal leather kicks for a look more off-duty than straight-out-of-bed.”Key PiecesHe By Mango Plush-cotton Jogging TrousersReiss Alistar Jersey Sweatpants NavySave Khaki French Terry Sweat Pant Grey HeatherClub Monaco Loopback Cotton-jersey SweatpantsSuitsupply Navy SweatpantsUniqlo Men Dry Stretch Sweat PantsHoodiesNo longer the sole preserve of stroppy teenagers, you only need to look as far as the recent menswear shows to see that hoodies are back on the menswear map. Why, then, is it still so easy to look like a Linkin Park fan?“Hoodies are a popular choice thanks to maximum ease and comfort,” says Kasia Katner, lead stylist at Thread. “But that can often result in an unpolished getup.”Just follow Katner’s advice and keep the rest of your outfit smart and your colour palette simple: “A grey hoodie will sit with every other colour in your wardrobe. Pair it with navy chinos, a crisp white tee and minimal trainers, and you’ll create a look that is neither too mosh pit nor gym bunny.”Key PiecesE. Tautz Cashmere Fine Knit HoodieSuitsupply Light Brown HoodieJohn Lewis Made In Italy Premium Cashmere HoodieReiss Fountain Cotton Zip Hoodie GreyClub Monaco Slim-fit Loopback Cotton-jersey Zip-up HoodieBurberry Fleece-back Cotton-blend Jersey Zip-up HoodieGraphic Tees‘Graphic tee’ is an umbrella term for a multitude of printed tops. So naturally, it has its fair share of pitfalls.“Avoid anything too topical, especially when it concerns slogans,” says Giles Farnham, head of River Island’s Style Studio. “Your ironic tee may get a few likes on social media, but it’ll be a pretty short-lived investment.”A ‘Female Body Inspector’ gag is a shortcut to eating lunch alone, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t stylish ways to pull of a print. “A reworked band tee is an easy piece to wear with off-duty separates. Or, if you prefer a bigger statement, try a baroque or floral print in a muted colour,” adds Farnham.(Related: 8 Of The Best Sloganwear Pieces)Key PiecesAllsaints Smock Camo Crew T-shirtAsos Velvet T-shirt In Premium With All Over Floral PrintMetallica Inside Out T-shirtZara Skull T-shirtHe By Mango Printed Cotton T-shirtEtro Floral-print Cotton T-shirtWide-Leg TrousersClothing rails, much like our thighs, have been suffocated by skinny jeans in recent seasons. While we don’t see them going anywhere soon, peak-skinny is giving rise to something at the opposite end of the spectrum: the wide-leg trouser.(Related: From The Experts: Men’s Style Predictions For 2017)“Many people now favour comfort over constricted styles,” explains James Jee, head of menswear at Jaeger. “But not all wider shapes are fair game – beware of the flare.”To get in on the emerging trend without going full Saturday Night Fever, Jee suggests opting for a straighter cut instead. “Just be wary of proportions – an ideal cut should boast more volume in the waist and hip, with a slight taper towards the ankle.”Due to the wider leg being your statement, there’s little need for vibrancy, print or volume elsewhere, so keep your surrounding pieces muted and well-fitted so it doesn’t look like you’re dressed head-to-toe in your dad’s hand-me-downs.Key PiecesAsos Straight ChinosLee Jeans Brooklyn Straight Fit One Wash StretchTopman Premium Grey Wool Blend Straight Leg ChinosTopman Navy Wide Leg Cropped Fit TrousersAcne Studios Van Denim JeansJ.crew Wallace & Barnes Wide-leg Cotton-drill ChinosPatterned SuitsIf you prefer to tap Gucci’s Alessandro Michele over Tom Ford, chances are you sit at the bolder end of the menswear spectrum. But get it wrong and you’re likely to look more like your nan’s lampshade.“Patterned suits have been popular at special events and weddings over recent years,” says Jee. “But they can often overload on print or colour.”As Jee points out, patterned doesn’t have to mean turning into Liberace. “A tonal check weave or shadow windowpane is a quieter way to wear a printed suit. But if you insist on a bolder look, keep other parts of the outfit simple – plain shirt, leather Oxford lace-ups and no belt. Let the print speak for itself.”(Related: How To Wear A Patterned Suit)Key PiecesZara Polka Dot Suit BlazerNoose & Monkey Super Skinny Green Suit In Tartan With StretchRiver Island Black Camo Skinny Suit JacketTopman Black And White Twisted Check Skinny Fit SuitTed Baker Ellis Floral Jacquard BlazerRiver Island Ecru Checked Skinny Suit JacketBaseball CapsBaseball’s biggest export after foam fingers hit a home run in 2016, but there are still a few things to consider before stepping up to the plate.“Baseball caps can often look shabby or too casual,” says Farnham. It makes sense considering the headwear’s sportswear heritage. Unless you’re pitch side, leave branding on the bench and don’t forget to consider everything from face shape, to occasion and the rest of your look.(Related: How To Wear A Hat Without Looking Like A Fool)“To smarten up, wear a plain style atop clean, smart pieces. An unstructured blazer with a white Oxford shirt and tailored cargoes can ooze laid-back Williamsburg style.”Key PiecesHe By Mango Wool-blend CapA.p.c. Classic Baseball CapAmi Canvas Cap BeigeOlaf Hussein Olaf CapReigning Champ 6-panel Cap OliveSave Khaki Wool Hopsack Cap NavyPinkNot just to make the boys wink, Pantone’s Colour Of The Year 2016 was seen everywhere from restaurant tablecloths to Drake music videos. Alas, that didn’t make it any easier to wear.“Pink has historically been a tricky colour for men,” says Reiss head of design, Alex Field. “After all, it’s traditionally been aligned with women.”(Related: A Man’s Guide To Wearing Pink)But don’t revert back to black just yet: “Pink is an easy way to brighten your wardrobe, especially when paired with darker shades – preferably navy. Let pink take focus on just one item, and team with classic dark pieces elsewhere,” adds Field.Key PiecesNext Long Sleeve PoloReiss Steer Slim-fit Shirt PinkTopman Topman Premium Pink Padded Bomber JacketZara Plain SweaterOliver Spencer Envelope Cotton-jersey T-shirtNext Stretch ChinosPolo ShirtsFrom football hooligans to Fred Perry, the humble polo shirt has been appropriated by subcultures and sports stars alike, with varying degrees of success.“Polo shirts can look staid and sensible, veering between dad’s golf wardrobe and 1990s school uniform, making them a tricky piece to wear,” says ASOS menswear editor Luke Raymond.Spending that little bit extra, however, can pay dividends as it opens up options for pairing the tennis staple with both smart and casual pieces. “Invest in quality, specifically merino or cashmere knits or a pricier cotton mix. From there, style block-colour shapes with straight-cut denim or tuck into a single-pleat formal trouser,” adds Raymond.Key PiecesSuitsupply Off White PoloJames Perse Slim-fit Cotton-jersey Polo ShirtTheory Milten Slim-fit Poplin-trimmed Cotton-blend Pique Polo ShirtNext Long Sleeve PoloReiss Mansion Merino Polo Shirt Light Grey MelangeJohn Smedley Cotswold Merino Wool Polo Shirt

http://www.fashionbeans.com/2017/difficult-pieces-how-to-wear-them/

#IFTTT #Feedly

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