#WELL AT LEAST STARTING TO YK

[starstiels]

damn you castiel and your sad little eyes. if i was dean i'd crumble immediately when he asked forgiveness like dammit. fine. stop looking at me like that. makin *me* feel guilty

#supernatural #spn #castiel #dean winchester #also ​dean worrying about cas even tho he royally fucked up #SORRY IM STILL WATCHING AS I DO THIS THE FUCKIN LEVIATHANS JUST TOOK OVER CAS #FUCK ?!?!? #CAS WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF FIXIN IT ALL !!! #WELL AT LEAST STARTING TO YK #DAMMIT !! #oh my god cas' body being expressive is SO WEIRD LMAOOO

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

honestly wally is stronger than atlas. if i had to constantly calibrate to the nature of my reality w/ full consciousness i would simply lose my fucking mind

#like babies dont Think while they learn how to exist #imagine straight up spawning fully aware and then everyone else is up to speed but youre standing there like #🧍‍♂️uh. hello. what is everything. what is this. huh???? #LIKE???? i feel so bad for him. dude got dropped right into the middle of the ocean and was told 'learn to swim' #and hes trying. but he doesnt know what drowning is so he cant sink either #i mean i get it at least a little bit! its the Autism Experience but w/ him the dial is cranked up to a thousand #you dont know what you dont know but life goes on like you should. fuck #wally i am mentally beaming you a thousand apples grown in the shape of hearts #i believe in you dude you'll figure it out #well. im probably beaming apples into the past if the time discrepancy is real but yk yk #cause if it is then Current Wally probably has a solid handle on things. from a basic standpoint #in a wider lens i am led to believe that he is Scrabbling #is this speculation??? #i think it counts. #wh speculation #homebogging #whenever i think about the tidbits we know - ex: wally learning about differences in size #internally i start howling. wally is just constantly dealing with things that would drive a person insane if they had to live it #how is he not Exhausted... it's all so much for someone who knows whats going on let alone someone scrambling to catch up #at least the other neighbors dont have to deal with memorizing physics and skills and behavior #and just Literally Everything That Comes With Being Alive #wally is a blank slate left to write itself. #ough. damn. fuck. i think i need to go stare into the woods for a bit...

[spaciebabie]

krispy piss

#deltarune #kris deltarune #spacie scribbles #forgot i had this pen and yk i hadta draw em #my autist pride and joy #big fan of kris with facial hair #well starting ta grow it at least :]

[todayisafridaynight]

At which point did you realise that the plot of IW is ass? I've seen people complain only about the ending or the halfway point where the teams separate, while I was already actively rolling my eyes like four-five chapters in

i think the moment i fully accepted that IW's story was. Definitely A Story was the moment ebina announced 'bleach japan'. like i think leading up to that point i was thinking to myself 'oh i hope i see X happen' or being like 'i wonder where this is going' and that sort but the proverbial bucket of ice was definitely that moment

#infinite wealth spoilers #snap chats #what reaaaaally hammered it in too if it wasnt obvious already was the execution of the jimas/daigo like that still irks me LMAO #i cant even remember what chapter that happened in i just know when it did i was utterly pissed #i think i started to take things less seriously once bryce entered the picture but thats only because of how distracting his VA was #like much love the JP voice actors who try to speak english and japanese but i just cant act like it's not incredibly distracting #esp when the character is supposed to be white yk what i mean- or at the very least their first language is supposed to be english #typically i can look over that thing if its a one or two time kind of deal but he had to speak in english much longer than others #im just rambling about bryce tho this aint bout him. i mean he could be a part of it the cult was executed really sloppily #it might have been the introduction of bryce actually ... i remember thinking to myself 'oh brother' with the whole messiah thing LMAO #maybe it was when kiryu told us his cancer cam from radiation instead of. smoking 💀 ESPECIALLY not even five chapters in #like straight out the gate you just wanna drop that on us mr I Can Do Everything Myself I Cant Worry Others ok #thats a post for another day tho im EVERYWHERE #POINT IS this is not about Retrospect this is about First Impressions and memory warps over time #but i know for a fact i found the bleach japan thing utterly ridiculous and was squinting at the plot the entire time thereafter #like ive said this a million times at this point but although i love IW for it's gameplay (pardon some nitpicks like lack of shortcuts) #its story really feels so messy and had much to be desired. which is so sad after the wonderful stories rgg has been making since 0.. #BUT OH WELL im still excited to replay it in english. god willing i ever get the time #i still wanna finish lost judgment <- isnt even halfway through the game #and i wanna do a fun stream Maybe with YK2 but ill get into that when i get into that #if youve read this far. thanks LOL id say sorry for the novel but thats what we expect of me at this point

[prisonpodcast]

The GOT characters just started teleporting across the map no more travel time whatsoever 😭

#at least the pace is starting to pick up but the plot is kinda becoming 💀 #too many things feel far too convenient yk #lmao well i knew this show ends badly but we’ll see we’ll see #first 4 seasons were still 10/10 tho #.___.

[swagging-back-to]

am i just toxic as hell or

so if someone left you on read for 12 hours before messaging, you wait another 12 to respond.

[this doesnt apply if they were asleep during that time or genuinely did not have access to their device (such as a power outage) it's mainly if you SAW them online/see that that they read it but never responded]

#polls of tumblr #polls #avpd #actually avpd #<- also if you have avpd as well PLEASE lmk so i know if this is a toxic thing or a 'i am so irreparably altered by abuse and trauma' thing #like. if i dont wait at least half the time it took them to respond to me to reply back i get nauseous #even thinking of responding to it before that time passes makes me feel sick and wrong and so fucking angry #if i do not wait then IT WILL be obvious that im seething mad/hurt as fuck #in some situations it ends up causing us to stop talking entirely #and yknow what? i dont even feel bad about that #edit later in the day; okay so maybe thats a little overkill. but sometimes it really do be like 'okay wow fuck you' yk? #like i said in the comments it all really depends on the vibes yk??? #idk #i think maybe im just toxic </3 #who wants to start a toxic yuri with me

[roraimae]

all the romancable DAO companions really just start falling for the warden if you're simply nice to them, huh

#i am trying really hard to keep them at arms length because I haven't decided between leliana and zevran #yet somehow I accidentally started a romance with alistair which I didn't even notice until he pulled out the rose #i am convinced it started because my warden told him she likes him for himself not his blood #which is a perfectly normal thing to say given that's a thing he seems insecure about and she genuinely likes him *but not as love interest #at least that's where I needed to reload to because I felt too bad to shoot him down lmao #also it would be mildly weird because in my mind that warden sees alistair more as a sibling she really wants to give a pep talk to #and square up with anyone that's rude to him #anyway #my point stands because I have to make an active effort with leliana to not lead her on #and to be fair I'm not trying that hard to stop with with zevran but also his approval is so easy to get up as well #morrigan might break that pattern #i wouldnt know because for some reason she's straight #and I made a female warden because my inky is a dude and I can't have everyone powerful be a dude yk as much as I love cas

[yiangchen]

why is it so fucking hard to get over the people that have hurt you the most??? how can you know how terrible they are for you and still want them???

#i was dating this new guy or at least i thought i was and i was starting to think i liked him and then i found out he sees me as a friend #i found this out while drunk #and drunk me CANNOT be trusted #i immediately started texting this other guy that i'm clearly not over #the same one that i said i ran into the other night (if any of you even have any idea what im talking about lmao idc i just need to vent) #so yeah i just immediately start texting him #he was mad at me because i didnt say hi the other night #so he hadnt been responding #but this time he finally did #he seemed to finally understand when i said that seeing him again was a lot for me and that my hands for literally shaking #and thats why i couldnt go up and talk to him #and we actually started having a good convo #but then he shut down again like he always does #and i know thats just how he is #i know hes just not ready to let me in #he literally said hes not ready to let anyone in #but its like my heart wont listen yk #because we both admitted how much we cared about each other #and my heart just latches onto that #im well aware that if he still wanted me he would say it #ive been so honest with my feelings #the only thing i havent done is come right out and say i wanna be with him and see if this works #but like....i dont have to say that #he knows how i feel #and if he felt the same way he would do something about it #BUT MY HEART WONT LISTEN #i know that i shouldnt but i cant stop hoping that we're somehow going to end up together #i really thought i was moving on with this other guy but HERE WE ARE #the second that doesnt work out im right back here pining over a guy that broke my heart so many times i lost count #god.

[nostalgia-tblr]

I realised that the 10k words that I currently have is likely a much smaller fraction of the hypothetical completed work than I thought it was going to be and I told myself I shouldn't take anything out because it all seems to be fitting together fairly neatly BUT I am def starting to have my doubts about the value of "the scene where the two male characters discuss whether the female character (who is not in this scene) should be breastfeeding the baby that she just had with one of those men (but she's been passing it off as the other one's)" because WTF that sounds AWFUL and I think I only put it in there because I was all YAY I'M JUST GONNA WRITE ABOUT MEDIEVAL QUEENS (KIND OF!!!) and there was that whole Thing in monarchies where you have to get a wetnurse in because breastfeeding reduces fertility and your shitty husband needs AT LEAST another couple of boys what with infant mortality being what it was in them days. And for some reason (probably sleep-deprivation TBQH) I at some point thought that it wouid be a good thing to put into an MCU fic???

#wip tag #now that i type this out it has become both worse AND funnier to me so who knows what i will decide to do with it in the end #i also remembered that this entire adventure into whatever the heck i am actually making now is because i realised that two famous queens #i forget which ones OBVIOUSLY #were famous for pulling off the same feat #which is 1) pop out at least one boy #2) outlive your shitty husband #and 3) your child-king son is now basically your talking puppet and you run a country now you go girl yas queen slay etc etc etc #i think one might have been catherine di medici? and... possibly margaret beaufort? (i know henry wasn't a kid at the time but yk) #POSSIBLY one was Empress Cixi? aka the one non-European more-or-less-queen that I know anything about #but anyway yes the trick here is to have a royal son and then refuse to ever die #elizabeth woodville has to be an Honourary Mention because she COULD have done it as well #had her brother-in-law not realised she was about to do that and kidnapped usurped and then probably-murdered the boy in question #Henry VIII's famous gang of queens all failed to meet at least one of the requirements :( #anyway hello some years ago i started reading books about famous dead queens and now what have i become??? #BTW monarchies are a terrible idea #just scrolled up to see wtf i am typing this stuff under oh yeah it's the post about the lactation debate scene oh noooo #gonna... gonna hit post now while i still can #the Sylki AU that got longer and wronger

[kn11ves]

idk what it is with me and women but they just flock to me in my time of need. 5 seconds ive been in a room and they want to tie my shoelaces for me they wanna help me do things they want to give me advice and make sure im okay i what

#i wish i was kdiding #I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH IT! #btw im not talking about like. older women although that also happens to me #im talking about girls my age theyll just go to me like im a helpless baby bird if i need something #its not even my cane either because even when i have to do things without it (like my danza folkorica) they still wanna help me #like im so fr first day i showed up a girl tied my shoelaces TWICE and THEN drove me to my dorm afterwards with the rest of her friends i #mean that was so nice #idk what i activate in them but they always wanna help me out its so particular to me #and like. listen ok today we are learning a dance from sinaloa and to be short about it one of the moves is bending your back really far & #i was doing it wrong and bending badly and i ''nearly fell'' multiple times #except see i would never have fallen bc i have been so used to living without a cane until now that i know how to catch myself and im very #yk. good at not falling so i dont embarass myself #but it LOOKS very much like i am about to fall and at least THREE times the president was like ''oh my god ivan are you okay??'' #i spooked her so bad i felt bad😭😭 #its bc km always in front when shes teaching bc i wanna see her n others r too scared to be up front #and anyways what i was on about literally i was visibly struggling and EVERYONE IM NOT EXAGERARINF ALL THE GIRLS (well there was only one #other guy there but) STARTED GIVING ME ADVICE AND TRTING TO HELP ME one girl moved all the way accross her spot to mine and help guide me #shes so nice i hesrt her her name is charisma bro imagine your name being CHARM and she is charming :> very nice #it feels weird calling her my friend bc well we r all friends in a sense as we r clubmmates but. U Know #long rant TLDR women love me #dont tell them im afraid of them

[thinkingnot]

gifted bookworms do you feel dissapointed in yourself only reading webnovels now?

#because well #same #went from encyclopedias and classics to mindless webnovels #its odd to say the least #i dont think there should be a worth system to doing what you love you dont gotta have hobbies that are guaranteed to be efficient and usefu #l you can read just because its fun yk #somethingnive been trying to convince myself too #because reading is fun it started fun it shall prevails as fun and you shouldnt feel the need to force read anything you dont feel #interested in currently

[nomaishuttle]

its literally so insane that my brother has like parents who arent young like thats insane... they were 34 when they had him... they were 20 when they had me which like isnt Insanely young but its still young yk. young enough that ppl r like Omg yr parents r so young ! when i say how old they are... but theyre gonna be 40 next year WHICH IS CRAZY. 40 year old parents hes like a kid from a disney channel show.

#and that mf lives in a house my parents own. Not for long lmaooo anyways. #<- bc my parents r prolly gonna lose the house bc my dad lost his job bc he assaulted somebody again. AWESOME FAMILY ! but anyways. #but its crazy. n my mom has been planninh a disneyland trip 4 ages... why r my family becoming like. almost middle class its scary ... guys #go back 2 being poor im scared and also thats so unfair that they waited until like a few months b4 i moved out to start marginally #getting their shit together. go girl give me NOTHING ! #but like its crazy how different our lives will be. like my parents relationship i Highly fucking doubt its gonna get better LMAO theyll #probably get divorced once they lose the house. god willing at least. but yk... #and hes got like Adult siblings.... me in talking abt myself. i left the house the same year he started kindergarten. its insane. and im #not gonna be there to see him grow up. Kills my . #i do like. idk. i want 2 try n stay out here but i also. sometimes i do judt think abt going back home just so i cn be closer to him #but. yk. thats not rly feasible rn. so. #hopefullyyy next year theyll all be able 2 come up n visit me for the summer... since ill have my own place #my like Prayer is that maybe in a couple years him n annie and lamp could start spending the summer with me.... thatd be rly cool #lamp idk what their plans r i think theyre gonna stay down there #weve talked a bittt abt them moving up here and it seemed like theyd enjoy that ? but theyre rly close with annie as well so idk...

[missshame]

Guys guys guys I decided to quit smoking wish me luck

#Like I just threw my pack away #It's not the first time I sorta try to cut it but usually I'm like I'll finish this pack and try to wait a little before buying another one #Which I usually manage to do since I'm fucking lazy #But idk it's starting to piss me off like since I can go without smoking for quite a while why do I always go back to it #I mean I know the answer it's because I always end up wanting to smoke because of a stressful week or event or whatever #And in these circumstances I tend to be in a shit mood and when I feel bad I'm like well I don't even care that much about my life so let's #Not give a fuck a buy some cigarettes #And idk #The truth is I know deep down that I love life I just struggle but I don't want to die like I do have these Thoughts sometimes but #The Thoughts are lying to me #And I'm not letting them have me!! #Not with a rope around my throat and not with a cancer inside of it neither lol #Fuck you Thoughts! I'll live even if it feels like dying sometimes #and if you're not happy with it why don't you go k*ll yourself instead yeah? #Anyway lol I know I'm gonna have a hard time with it but I gotta try at least yk #If you read that thank you for coming to my Ted talk lol

[unnecessarilygrandiose]

.

#okay rant time lol. spoilers for 6x18 #i think i will have to say that this may have been my least favourite of all 6b episodes #haha ik i should probably give myself time to process the episode but idk i'd rather just write everything out #i just. just yesterday i was complaining about some people treating 911 like it's the buck show and today... it was the buck show? #and like! an episode being extra focused on one character is absolutely fine!! great even!! i really enjoyed 6x11!! #but in the season finale you expect each character to get a more equitable amount of focus right? #and like. even 4x14 which had a significantly less focus on eddie than one might expect had the will scene #and maddie had a bit less focus in that episode too but even she quit her job and it was obvious she was Going Through Stuff #and these slightly restricted screentimes gave jumping off points for their respective very spectacular s5 arcs #but this episode? like it wasn't that it didn't focus on other characters but it was mostly buck #and... idk man it does make sense given that he had the longest running plotlines this season but also #i just wish we had focused more on other characters as well #and like? as for buck? the couch? #i'll be honest i'm disappointed they introduced romance this season for buck at all when the season began with him choosing to be single #i really thought he wouldn't date at all for this one season at least yk? #and yeah ik we live in an amatonormative world but cmooon a guy can have his happy ending without getting together with someone #also bucktalia feels a little odd to me rn especially given the number of false starts they had #if they'd done this exact same storyline but at the beginning of next season i'd probably love it... right now tho i'm very meh over it #as in there is potential but it's like... idk mannnn why do we need him to end up with someone at allllll... i'm too aro for this shit #starting something new this close to the end of the season instead of tying off the two arcs that were already ongoing for him #was certainly a choice #aah well. at least natalia seems good for him. she came back which is the most important thing buck would want in a partner right? #still tho. i really wish we'd gotten to know more about the new henren baby than we did #i wish we'd gotten to see madney discussing plans instead of just the exact moment where they decide they want to marry on the patio #i wish we'd gotten the entire conversation that lead up to chris hyping (or snarking at) eddie to call marisol #i wish we'd gotten bathena hurriedly packing for their trip and may making fun of them as she helps #i just wish we'd gotten more of others!! #oh well. at least we still got chimney time and captain hen and cheddie working together and hen and eddie leaning on each other #you win some you lose some i guess #anyways if you actually read all the way til down here thank you for your time hehe

[wabblebees]

.

#rehearsal tonight was rouh but still fun soits fine im just. exhausted #i was achey and brain-foggy as FUCC #so i came home and had meself a drink. and then when i was done i was like eh im still feelin. yk whatever so i made myself a Drink™️ #and oooooh bITCH #started making a grillcheese halfway thru drinkin the Drink™️ so when that shit hit my siystem i FELT it lmfao #ooooooooooooh bitch #we good im Chillin chillin now im just. HOOooo bOY #ive decided that alcohol is always gross (save for the like. jack daniels watermelon shit bc that was fuckin GORGEOUS goddamn( #HOWEVER. cranberry juice makes everything better😌💕 #AND ! so does grilled cheese<3<3 #so vodka+cranberry juice is fun even tho it still tastes at least a little bit (or a lottle bit if u dont mix it right💀 oops) like alcohol #and my sandwich turned out perfect and my ''cocktail'' turned out fine and Very Alcoholic lmfao #3 shots vodka & can pineapple juice & buncha cranberry juice & splashes of grenadine+lemon juice #PLUS a squeeze of coconut cream which!! is also what i i sugared the rim of my glass with!! which felt all fun+fancy so im :> #i def could still taste vodka but eh it still tasted better than the one (1) drink ive had at a restaurant (raspberry lemon drop)(gross) #((not GROSSgross but. tasted like i shouldve been DRUNk after drinking it and i was decidedly Not so. hmph🙄)) #aNyWaY this is all nonsense that doesnt matter but i felt like telling Someone so. void it is! #thanx for listenin/readin lmao #my friends are all sleepin and i should be soon as well -- hopefully i do but 🤷we'll see🤷 #im still kinda 👁👄👁 from rehearsal so im trying to bring it down+chill tf out so i can Get Some Fucking Rest before too long yanno? #so like. yeagh! #hope yall are doin well #byeee<3<3 #bee speaks

[schimmelspore]

.

#so im dating a non binary femme i think? #i think we're dating #yk judging from context clues we are at least on the track to get a relationship started #and its long distance #but we're both in europe #so its not impossible #and up until now she seems like our jagged edges fit well together #i feel really at ease with her and communicating works so well #im fucking whipped #so if i start gushing romantic bs on here #thats why