#a moc rant/ramble | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

motherofqups · 3 years

Text

I really feel like I have three almost separate relationships with the Arcana at this point:

The fandom: A mixed bag of very high highs and *very* low lows. I’ve met some wonderful people (some I readily call friends) and gotten avid support for my fanworks; I’ve also seen criticism and misunderstanding spiral into toxicity, alongside straight-up bullying and mob mentality, alongside a complete lack of gray and nuanced thinking. Some folks are hilarious and have me cry laughing at their HCs, their memes, and some discourse is so detailed and thought provoking that I’m amazed at how people just... *think* differently than me, know so much more than I do about certain topics and are willing to share with the world. And some of the diskhorse makes my eyes water with how insipid it feels, largely a flimsy mask for straight up character assassination and fandom tribalism.

The work (my work): Fuxj, dude, I love writing, and I loved - LOVED - writing the Oracle. I mean it when I say that the Oracle kept me alive the year I was writing it. But I wrote it largely in isolation from the fandom, only dropping in on AO3 to leave anon-likes on my favorite fics. I have written far less once engaging more with the fandom HERE because it feels, some days, absolutely exhausting to keep up with the constant drama. This is not to point a finger at the fandom for my own executive dysfunction - it’s more to highlight how distracting it can be from, yknow, the actual art that people are making and producing and consuming, and not actually creating an environment that encourages and nourishes that creation. When I’m in my zone, just writing and dreaming and problem solving and editing, it all melts away. When I’m responding to the largely positive comments on AO3, I’m light and sweet and full of gratitude. But when I open tumblr to do the same, to market the work and support my fellow creators, I’m bombarded with negative energy. It’s barely worth the squeeze. Discord is the same: I left one because I felt so unwelcome and my opinions and perspectives unwanted; another was straight up Yeeted into the ether because of drama. (I’m in yet another that is absolutely lovely and supportive and full of fine folks, if much, much smaller and quieter.)

The canon: I can’t open the app without getting frustrated, without feeling a deep sense of disappointment. These last three routes have been an absolute train wreck of bad writing, pandering, and - to me - a lack of any kind of romantic spark. (Except for Portia’s - she has some REALLY GOOD moments interspersed with some extremely meh chapters and interactions.) The beauty of the first three was the mystery and the worldbuilding, however flawed - and the characters are so rich and delicately intertwined. The last three have felt like utter hack jobs in comparison - and those characters, certainly, deserved the expert craftsmanship the others received, because they were BUILT UP so much in the first three routes. All the spark that attracted me to the narrative at first is just - gone.

All of this is to say - I don’t know where to go from here. I want to write W&M, but every day the fandom seems to degrade more and more, and there seems to be less and less interest in alternate routes, esp routes that don’t follow the ‘canon’ to the letter. (I use canon loosely here - I don’t take any Dev Ex Machina or Word of Dev as canon, which I know is not the sentiment of the rest of the fandom.) I am also very, very much grieving the loss of someone who was essentially a parent, and all of THIS *gestures at everything* is colored by THAT.

Idk man, maybe what I need is a real tumblr hiatus too and just write in relative fandom isolation again. But I’m getting too old for this shit. How do y’all do this and keep going

#a moc rant/ramble #this probably made 0 sense but it’s for me so idk fam take it or leave it #love y’all if you’re still reading this #diskhorse #the arcana game

12 notes · View notes

uwuwriting · 3 years

Text

Since I’m bored and don’t want to study, send in random stuff about the jjk lovies *or legit for any character I write for I just have a tiny obsession with jjk lol* and I’ll write you a small thingy *not me not knowing what to call my writing*

#this makes no sense #but imma leave it like this #i have zero (0) brain power right now #and doing my biology hw on inheritance rates etc #doesn't seem appealing #but writing something fluffy or even borderline spicy seems like a great idea #lets ignore the fact though that I have my mocs coming up next week #i hate it here #Evie Rants #evie talks #evie rambles

7 notes · View notes

battlestar-royco · 3 years

Note

sorry to ramble in your asks (again), but that post you reblogged about MOC got me thinking about something i hadn't noticed before: for all that actors like the rock and jason momoa are lauded as "men's men" and the height of masculinity in most movies they're in, they don't really get to be desired (if that makes sense?). like, you know how in other movies, romance or otherwise, yt men often have the camera lingering on them or are written to be flirty/attractive/etc. but i rarely see this done with these two actors in particular. similar to that article about how the MCU is filled with attractive people that are completely sexless (like barbies ig), the rock/jason momoa/etc seem to be there to be attractive to yt women (something something fetishization) but aren't sexy in a real world way

No I love your rants! Always so thought-provoking. And I was actually thinking about this the other day, hyper-masculine MOC in movies, because I was thinking about the casting in Dune. Chalamet vs Isaac vs Momoa. Just gender studies major things. It's very clear among those three who's supposed to be the palatable soft prince (Paul), the more intense, stately patriarch (the duke), and who brings the physicality (Duncan). Just very interesting who was chosen to represent which archetype of masculinity.

I both agree and disagree about the desirability factor of MOC in film. I'd argue they're highly sexualized/sensationalized (ie your examples, plus Michael B Jordan, John Boyega, Steven Yeun, borderline Dev Patel etc) but rarely romanticized. So in a way their attractiveness is almost... I don't want to say subtextual, because the fact that These Men Are Sexy Aesthetically is often right in our faces, but maybe dissonant? Because their (white) women counterparts are Not To Have Sex With Them In Practice, acknowledge their humanity, or simply have a healthy normal relationship with them. This is not the case for the Chalamets, the Goslings, the Drivers... basically any white man with a pulse who is near a white woman.

#gender #masculinity #answered #namelessscribe

28 notes · View notes

hongism · 3 years

Note

hii caly!!!! omg ily so much and i’m trying not to turn this into a weird obsessive rant bc that’s not the point rn but: MOC IS THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED ON TEEZTUMBLR PERIODDD. i can write a whole essay why i live and breathe for moc but she can wait, since i’m hoping to ask you something else 🥺

if you don’t mind me asking, what’s the research process you go through to write moc? as in where do you find the references for the entire moc universe, how you brainstorm ideas for characters etc. also, how long does it generally take you to prepare and write, bc god damn the size of her is so sEXC and i can only imagine how much love and effort you’ve put in for her. you truly never cease to amaze me with the immaculate plot twists and details.

again, i’ll be back to hype the new loml aka moc and you even more in the future 🥰 sorry for sending such a long ask tho, i hope it doesn’t bother you too much and it’s fine if you aren’t comfortable sharing the answers too. please take care caly love you!!!

PLSSS THIS IS SO SWEET??? oh my goodness goiajfdogiadjfg gonna combust you're so SWEET best thing that ever happened?!?!? i can't take that mantle there are SO so many talented and wonderful authors and creators here T-T

the research process tho !!! eeee i honestly adore questions like these they make my heart so happy i love talking about my writing process and what all goes into it, it's all v fun for me to both do and talk about SO really my research process varies from chapter to chapter! depending on the contents of each chapter, what i expect to do and write, things i want to focus on, i'll do my research that way! i have a discord server where i keep a bunch of articles and things to use for writing separated by topic ! as for references, i find pretty much ALL my photo references through wallpaper websites fkjdlghfgj at least for planets and solar systems, for characters i use google and pinterest!! it really used to take me only a week to plot and write and post a chapter but since then i've got increasingly busy and so i've slowed down QUITE a bit! now i would say it takes me about a month to completely finish an outline, write it, then edit it. this upcoming chapter is taking a bit longer than that bc it's more action forward and im not the best at writing action so it takes me a lot longer !!!!

she really is a labor of time and love i can't lie but honestly the joy and pride i get from planning and writing and sharing that story with the world is a feeling i would never ever change or give up. being able to write is a blessing and a joy to me, that much is a gift in and of itself, but being able to continually construct a universe like moc is something irreplaceable and precious to me aHHH yeah it's something truly precious to me and i'll never lose the gratitude i have for every single person who has given moc a chance it means more than i could ever put into words T_T

no worries about a long ask i absolutely adore long asks and i tend to RAMBLE as you can see so agdfuihgduifg i have zero issue with receiving long asks!! you're so sweet tho thank you for asking these questions i really love answering them and thank you for reading and enjoying my baby moc ;^;

#mists of celeste #ur SO SWEET PLS

17 notes · View notes

godstiel-coded · 3 years

Text

Semi-coherent Dean-centric rambles

Okay so a lot of this is non sensical, tangential, and a lot is copy n pasted from my rants in hell so please join me in partaking in shrimp emotions in this dennys

Okay so first off I got thinking abt post purgatory 1.0 bc of a post you can see if you scroll a bit and I mean like its so entirely possible that Cas sat beside Dean while he slept on the ground and kept a hand on him while he slept fitfully (dean couldnt be On him that'd impede cas' defense if monsters arrived) and he probably couldn't stand the thought of sleeping in his dingy motel woth Cas' hand resting on his shoulder as he sots on the other side of the bed, deep in thought because Sammys a smart kid he'd know that Dean wouldn't let anyone else do that he'd know that Dean hadn't slept that well in years like??? He would feel vulnerable and therefore take it out on Cas but Cas would be confused y'know in Heaven he was a soldier so you watch over those who cant fight (none of them sleep but surely theyve been injured) so to him its no big deal of course if it was someone else he'd sit across the room but he hears Deans yearning as prayer and knows the tether to something familiar helps him sleep so of course he would sit beside him while he slept as he always did in purgatory!!

And like yknow from there I cant help thing about how so much of Destiel is "of course" Like its Such a destiel phrase and I can't stop thinking about it because like it almost seems like "I need you to take me for granted so at least I know I belong by your side" vibes. As long as its "of course" that means its recognised as intrinsic as necessary as expected not something they can discard Aaaaa!! *of course* I would do anything for you is permission to expect anything to be done its its this acknowledgement that they don't need to talk about it because the answer is always yes!!

Yknow *of course* cas woukd watch dean sleep after purgatory because thats what they do thats what they had been doing but Dean he'd feel so damn Exposed like anyone could see it on his face that he doesn't have an Excuse now he's topside but Cas he doesn't need an excuse because *of course* he would wait patiently for dean to wake because dean needs his sleep and cas needs dean on the top of his game and dean hates to sleep alone anyways what reason does he have to Not like obviously there is something he can do that is painless thst is easy that comforts and lulls Dean and ensures he is resting deeply (relative) and safely like Cas would watch the world burn for Dean *of course* he would sit on his shitty motel bed, calm and still, hand resting on Dean's shoulder so that the warmth can soothe his subconscious. A few hours is nothing to Cas nothing at all why would he not why would he expect such a strong rejection after everything they've been through this seems like an "of course" to him and he knows Dean he knows ot would help him sleep and Dean knows it too but be knows that if it was anyone else it'd hardly make a difference so he feels vulnerable aaah okay okay I'm talking myself on circles

And yknow what *of course* Dean would grieve like a widow for Cas because Cas deserves to not be forgotten not when no one else even knows him not when theyre the only ones who Can remember him except Sam is pretty much okay but Dean is drowning in the sorrow and Cas will never know that!! Cas will think Dean pushed through it like everything else and why would Dean tell him because *of course* he must know, Cas seems to know everything about him how could he ever think Dean would be okay without him

So naturally, *of course* Dean prays every night and *of course* Cas listens to every word because they have intricate gay rituals and all hell seems to break loose (sometimes literally) the more they deviate from them!!

It just breaks me inside because Mr. Repression and misery himself loves Cas like its the only viable option and even when he panics and rejects him or shuts down *of course* its not really how he feels and Cas loves Dean like he's the only thing worth loving (minus his son) because *of course* he is and Dean cant fathom that because hes one of trillions of humans and aaaahhhh what better success story could there have been than for Dean to learn not o lt that Cas loves him but to see in himself what Cas does and yeah we get a little bit of that in 15x19 but he deserved to Live that Truth with Cas right there beside him

And yknow through all of this its Sam who he's known for being most codependent with and that makes sense because Dean picks Sam first priority because he doesn't know who he is without being Sams Mommy big brother and he mourns Cas like That because without Cas he doesn't know who he wants to be and the MOC lecture about how when Dean destroys all the world Cas will be the one left to watch yknow the past and present have always been Sam but in the future he dares to hope for Sam is safe and sound marrying someone or something, living the life he wants but not unreachable and Cas is the one by his side so yeah he has to choose Sam bc Sam is the basis of who he thinks he is and he just simply can't give up on that part of himself or lose Sam and live knowing he failed him but losing Cas hits like a bag of bricks because he loses his best friend and feels he fails him but he also loses his hope for who he could be the people they could be together the life he craves when he dares to hope for the light at the end of the long series of progressively larger guns the tunnel

He deserved a success story damn it and what bigger success could there be than Dean learning that someone could choose to love him flaws and all I mean from 15x18 to 15x19 we saw Cas words hit home and he finally said he Is more than daddys blunt instrument and he said it to the one who created his fate and thats bc Cas like imagine what could come of a few years to decompress and to *live* the life they earned the life they could build together

They deserved it. We deserved it.

[Image description : colored banner reading "WINCEST/BIBROS FANS DNI"]

#destiel #deancas #incoherent heller rambles #i have so much to say please provoke me #god please comment on this and feed my rambles yall

10 notes · View notes

mittensmorgul · 7 years

Text

Continuing on my s10 ranting from yesterday... >.>

Cobbled together immediately after watching 10.15, while watching 10.16 and wondering why all Bucklemming episodes can’t be this good/interesting/relevant/well written... but I digress. Back to 10.15.

After the first half of s10 focused on vengeful spirits, shapeshifters, vampires, selling one’s soul, and the inherent darkness INSIDE PEOPLE, 10.15 was THE FIRST MotW to even suggest something like “monster possession,” that the thing inside the person WAS A FOREIGN INVADING EVIL THING and not someone’s own inherent nature.

This was the moment s10 seems to have jumped the tracks entirely for me, because the narrative shifted entirely. Up to this point they’d been telling an entirely different story.

More quoting of my chattybubble ranting at Lizbob:

but... this is where they shifted all the monsters from being vengeful spirits and split personalities to being FOREIGN INVADERS TAKING OVER PEOPLE This is the first real shift in the narrative that began to make us think the Mark was somehow controlling Dean up to then, they were telling us an entirely different story then in 10.16 the rage ghost was possessing people. outside force

Dean and Sam continued on have two different experiences with the case in both 10.15 and 10.16. Heck, can you imagine I’d rather use the Bucklemming episode as an example here? Crazy days, man. Crazy days.

Sister Matthias in 10.16 believes all along that she’s talking to a fellow nun-- a real person-- who turns out to BE the ancient (comparatively, 1520 is a long time ago) vengeful spirit possessing people who cheated on their wives/girlfriends, but to Sister Matthias she’s almost a friend and confidante; i.e. her own person, and not some evil force taking people over and forcing them to act against their will.

Then after we watched Dean’s fake confession, followed by his extremely heartfelt TRUE confession, he walks out and Sam smirks at him and says, “jerks like you are just what our ghost is looking for." Leaving all of us to seriously side-eye Sam’s perception of what’s really going on with Dean. Sam’s only getting the surface level here. He’s entirely missed out on ALL the times Dean’s “bared his soul,” first to Sister Matthias and then in the confessional. All Sam’s getting is Dean’s performance mask-- joking about Sister Matthias having the hots for him, while WE saw them have a VERY DIFFERENT AND DEEPLY PERSONAL CONVERSATION.

Much like Dean’s conversation with Tina in the bar back in 10.12 showed us something very different than we would expect. NOT a Dean who was just hitting on an attractive woman, but one who truly, honestly connected to another person emotionally.

But I digress... Back to the end of s10 and the ridiculous canon acrobatics required to redirect ALL THIS GLORIOUS CHARACTER GROWTH (not just for Dean but for Cas as well... I mean, most of s10 basically stranded him, as Lizbob said in her review of 9.22, Cas’s emotional and personal development just got put on the back burner...

I'm also looking through the rest of s10, because they were REALLY inconsistent about how they wrote the monsters.

mittensmorgul 10.17 Dabb just avoided talking about monsters entirely and instead gave Dean and Crowley a touching heart-to-heart...

I mean, 10.17 also introduces Rudy the Random Hunter Dude who Dean mercilessly slaughters in 10.23. And in hindsight I think this was originally intended to be COLE he killed, but whoopsie that got dropped like a hot potato and had to be reshuffled too...

So Dean’s chat with Rudy here while he’s laying out a series of booby trap pranks in Sam’s room is all we have establishing that they are on friendly terms as hunters. Kinda steals the oomph out of Dean going Darkside in 10.23 that there wasn’t more throughout s10 consistently establishing that-- but I get the real-world reasons why that got switched up. It only added to the narrative dissonance that the Mark had been about Dean all along, since Cole had been a mirror for Dean since 10.01. It doubles down on the whole bait-and-switch feel to the entire season’s narrative. This was SUPPOSED to be about Dean, but whoopsie, last minute we swapped Dean’s internal journey of self-discovery with the narrative equivalent of Fuckhands McMike.

*sighs and cries about how the show actually pulled a Fuckhands McMike on us all*

18 introduced the stynes... people who'd grafted on extra bits to make themselves invincible... like bonus hearts and organs and ewwwww making them into something they're not. They were the biggest metaphor for the darkness being something that was "grafted onto Dean"

elizabethrobertajones yeah hindsight is wonderful :P

And then 10.19 combined the “part of Dean” and “something outside of Dean” narratives really well... with the Werther spell bringing him VERY CLOSE TO DEATH, confronting his personal issues, but the Mark pulling him back from that at the last minute because it WASN’T part of him. In a way similar to how letting go of the Mark briefly in 10.12 sort of gave Dean a “soft reset” on how badly he seemed to be affected by it, the Werther box forcing him to confront it all does something similar.

At least... for a few episodes until Dean finds out his entire family’s been plotting behind his back... *sticks knife in back* *twists*

Okay, back to 10.15 (since I’m already 3/4 of the way through watching 10.17... I should probably wrap this up, or at least pretend I’m actually getting back to the point of this ramble)

mittensmorgul But, they COULD'VE saved Kit if Sam had brought him to the "sweat lodge" sooner. Instead, he just tied kit up and did NOTHING really... maybe kit was too far gone? whatever. It was weird.

elizabethrobertajones yeah I think it was meant to be about Sam dawdling over the cure for Dean that he couldn't save Kit so he has to take action more decisi vely next time

mittensmorgul yeah

elizabethrobertajones while Dean gets a totally different story for his eyes that the monster CAN be expelled and there's a reason to hope

mittensmorgul which is true

elizabethrobertajones they come out of that episode with completely different messages though not what happens for Dean :P

mittensmorgul like the audience was getting >.>

elizabethrobertajones I guess the opposite end result for both Sam manages to save Dean Dean is ready to die at the end >.>

(I paused the show so I could focus on typing this, and there’s just this image of a chocolate chip cookie suspended in mid air on my screen, and now I just want a cookie. Here. Have a floating cookie:

and yeesh, I really need to dust the tv screen. This is what I get from sitting 10′ away and not wearing my glasses. I can’t see the dust until I zoom way in to take a picture of it from across the room >.>)

Anyhoodle, this is really where we seethe Evolest Villain, aka miscommunication, rear its ugly head. Sam is only seeing part of the story. Dean is only seeing part of the story. Cas... well, all we’re getting from him right now is colors.

And then in s11 ALL OF THIS IS WASHED AWAY in an explosion of primordial Darkness.

Granted that does finally free up Sam and Dean to begin talking about stuff again, but that doesn’t really happen until the middle of the season when Dean confesses how he was being manipulated by Amara. I think that’s FINALLY the point where Sam really begins to understand that NONE of this MoC!Dean stuff was actually ABOUT DEAN. And that’s when Sam can really identify with what Dean went through... that it was an insidious form of possession.

And it’s the beginning of pushing Sam into seeing behind Dean’s mask, because now he at least has an idea of just how extensive that mask can really be.

But hey, at least they’re talking...

#spn s10 #FUCKHANDS MCMIKE #spn 10.15 #spn 10.16 #spn 10.17 #spn 10.18 #spn s11 #mittens makes peace with s10 via dabb's spitewriting of s12: an ongoing saga

33 notes · View notes