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zerolympiustrife · 5 years

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ZOS’ short stories 14

Title: Cloud the Dad/Babysitter (SSBU) (This is an AU where almost every character in Smash Ultimate is a child and Cloud is babysitting them)

Kid!Richter: Cloud!

Cloud: What?

Kid!Richter: Link won’t give me back my whip!

*cut to a Young Link version of BotW Link playing with Richter’s whip*

Cloud: Hey! *snaps fingers* Give Richter back his whip!

*Kid!Link pouts, and attempts to whip Cloud in the face*

Cloud (gets smacked in the face): Ow!

*Kid!Link snickers, give Richter his whip back, then runs away*

Cloud (rubbing his face): Get back here, you little- *trips over a wire* Gah!

*Cloud gets up, looks where he tripped from, and it was from a fishing rod that Kid!Isabelle and Kid!Daisy were playing with*

Kid!Isabelle: Eep! Sorry, Mr. Strife!

Cloud: Agh...it’s alright...what were you two doing?

Kid!Daisy: Playing jump rope with her fishing rod!

Cloud: ...Ok. Just as long as the hook isn’t on the rope.

Kid!Snake: Hey, Cloud. Think you can help me with Samus?

Cloud (kneeling down): What do you need?

Kid!Snake (points over to Kid!Samus, blushing): What do you think I can do to win her heart?

Cloud (thinking): Hm...hold on. *runs towards a pile of plushies, and takes a baby metroid plush* Give this to her, I suppose?

Kid!Snake: Don’t girls normally get weirded out by this?

Cloud: I’m not a love doctor. It won’t hurt to try.

Kid!Snake: Okay. *walks over to Kid!Samus, gives her the plush, and she glares at it at first, but then smiles and invites Kid!Snake to play with her*

*Cloud smirks at this sight, but then gets pelted in the head by a bone*

Cloud (angrily): Ah! What the...? *looks over to where it came from, and it came from Kid!Ridley and Kid!K.Rool, who are snickering*

Kid!Ridley: Hehehehehe!

Kid!K.Rool: Stupid spiky-haired man! Hahahaha!

Cloud (glaring at the two): You two, in time-out! NOW! *Points to a child-like jail cell*

Kid!Ridley: You’ll have to catch us fir- gack!

*Cloud grabs them by the back of their necks, then walks over to the cell, while Kid!Ridley is constantly extended his wing to hit Cloud in the face, but to no avail*

Kid!K.Rool: This isn’t fair!

*Cloud slams the door*

Cloud: Now think about what you’ve done.

*Cloud walks away, then notices Kid!Bayoneta, aka Cereza*

Cereza: Cloud? When will mummy come back?

Cloud: I don’t know, Cereza.

Cereza: Oh...but without mummy, I’m...I’m helpless... *starts tearing up*

Cloud: Hey. Hey! It’s alright. If anything happens-

Kid!Palutena: I’ll protect you!

Cereza: Huh?

Kid!Palutena (behind Cloud): I’m Palutena! But you can just call me Palu. I’m a goddess and I’ll protect you!

Cereza (rubbing her eyes): O-Okay...

Cloud: Huh? I was gonna say-

Kid!Zelda: CLOUD!!

*cut to a child version of Zelda in her AL2tP/ALBW appearance*

Kid!Zelda: Link’s being stupid again!

Cloud: What makes you say that?

Kid!Zelda: He’s trying to break pottery, but since he can’t reach high places, he’s using Shulk as support!

Cloud: Why’s he doing that?

Kid!Zelda: He thinks there’re rupees inside.

Cloud: Fine. I’ll go scold him.

*Kid!Shulk suddenly gets a vision, showing Cloud scolding him and Kid!Link for trying to break pottery*

Kid!Shulk: Link! Cloud’s going to yell at us if we do this!

Kid!Link: I don’t see him coming.

Kid!Shulk: No, but I just got a vision of him scolding us.

Kid!Link: Uh oh. Put me down, quick!

*Kid!Shulk puts him down, Cloud enters the room*

Cloud: Are you breaking pottery, Link?

Kid!Link: Uh...no!

*Cloud looks around, but there aren’t any broken pieces*

Cloud: Alright...I believe you. However! *Picks him up and lays him over his shoulder*

Kid!Link: Ah! What are you doing?

Cloud: This is for smacking me with Richter’s whip earlier.

Kid!Link: Aw, this isn’t fair! *Gets put in time-out*

*Kid!Zelda sticks her tongue out at him*

Cloud: Jeez...huh?

*Kid!Kamui and Kid!Joker are standing in front of him*

Cloud: What can I do for you two?

Kid!Kamui: Can I have meat?

Kid!Joker: Can I have coffee?

Cloud: You *points to Kid!Kamui* need to eat veggies and fruit to be healthy, and you *points to Kid!Joker* are going to be bouncing off the walls if I ever let you near coffee.

Kid!Kamui (pouting): But my dragon side demands meat! I want meat! RAWR! *her dragon tail, wings, and horns pop out*

Cloud: Dinnertime isn’t until the next 30 minutes.

Kid!Kamui (cute glaring): Grrr! *launches off the ground and tackles Cloud head-on*

Cloud: Gah! Get off me!

Kid!Joker: I’ll help you...only if you give me coffee.

Cloud: I don’t have coffee! But I have coffee ice cream instead!

Kid!Joker: Eh, good enough.

Kid!Kamui: Meat! Meat! Meat! Me- Ahh!

*Kid!Joker pulls Kid!Kamui back with a grappling hook, she hits the floor and starts to cry*

Kid!Kamui (crying): Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Cloud: Ok! Ok! I will give you meat!

Kid!Kamui (slowly stops): *sniff* R-Really?

Cloud: Yes! In fact, I’ll give you meat right now! Come with me.

*Kid!Kamui’s dragon parts disappear, then she and Kid!Joker follow him into the kitchen. Cloud gives them what they want as promised*

Kid!Kamui (happy): Yay! Nom! *eats*

Kid!Joker: Mmm. *eats as well*

Cloud: Don’t get mad at me if you two are too stuffed to eat for dinner.

*Both kids ignore him, Cloud just rolls his eyes*

Cloud (sighing): Whatever...huh?

*Kid!Lucina starts tugging his leg, blushing*

Cloud: Huh? Lucina?

Kid!Lucina (blushing): Um...Cloud? Can you play with me?

Cloud: I’d love to, Lucina. But I’m busy right now.

Kid!Lucina (sad): Oh...

Cloud: But... *puts a hand on her shoulder* I’ll find someone to play with you. Only if you watch these two for me.

Kid!Lucina: Ok! *climbs up the chair and starts squinting at Kid!Kamui and Kid!Joker*

*Cloud starts looking around for who can play with Kid!Lucina, but then notices a child in a room, in a corner, all alone. Cloud walks over to the kid, who has spiky hair like he does*

Cloud: Hey, what are you doing in here all by yourself?

*The child turns to look at him, and it’s a child version of Cloud himself*

Cloud (internally): Whoa! What the...

Kid!Cloud (tears going down his face): Nobody wants to play with me.

Cloud: Why not?

Kid!Cloud: I’m too scared to talk to anyone. Plus, I think some of the other kids are stupid.

Cloud: What makes you say that?

Kid!Cloud: Link keeps trying to break pottery, Kamui has been very demanding of food, Ridley and K. Rool are playing pranks on others...also, Snake and I got into a fight.

Cloud: But not all of the kids are bad. *Puts a hand on his shoulder* Palutena is very protective and nice (though she is a little mischievous), Isabelle and Daisy are currently playing jump rope with Zelda by using a fishing rod (thankfully, it doesn’t have a hook), Richter, Shulk and Samus look pretty laid back right now in the game room, and lastly, Lucina is looking for someone to play with.

Kid!Cloud (surprised): She is?

Cloud (smiling): Yeah. Do you want to play with her?

Kid!Cloud (blushing): ...Yeah.

Cloud: Ok then, up we go. *lifts his child self up, and wraps his arms around him, and walks over to the kitchen*

Kid!Lucina: Ah! Cloud!

Cloud: Here’s the “someone” I promised you. *Places his child self down in front of her*

Kid!Cloud (shy): H-H-Hello.

Kid!Lucina (cheerfully): Hi! I’m Lucina!

Kid!Cloud: I’m Cloud.

*Cloud raises an eyebrow from this*

Cloud (internally): This kid...could he be a younger me or something?

Kid!Lucina: Hehehe! You have the same name as him! *Points at Cloud* And you kind of look like him! Do you want to play with me?

Kid!Cloud: Yes. I’d like that.

Kid!Lucina: Yay! *Grabs his hand and they both run out of the kitchen*

Cloud (thinking): I wonder how he got here...?

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