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eleteo125 · 3 years

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Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Naughty Wolf (m)

Wolf!Baji x Red Riding Hood!Reader

18+ fic minors dni

Red Riding Hood is a title given to those with the duty of delivering food, crops, livestock, etc. to the wolves in exchange for the protection of the village. But what if you met one of those wolves?

CW: Sexual Content, biting, hair pulling

Word Count: 15,010 (yeesh haha)

A/N: I haven't written anything in a loooong time haha. Also forgive my smut scenes they aren't my forte when it comes to writing. English is also not my first language so have mercy if I made any mistake haha. And lastly @kazutoraholic here's the result of that little thirst post you had about Wolf!Baji hahaha hope you enjoy this too.

In a map of a far away kingdom, there is a dense forest that not many have travelled to. There have been so many sightings of large monsters and predators out for prey. Beasts so strong even the strongest knights cannot defeat. Said beasts has been observed to only reside in the forest not wandering outside so they just left it be. But in the middle of said forest resides a quaint village. As most would assume how could this village survive in such an environment where beasts of great magnitude reside? Well they don’t. They’ve enlisted the help of the “wolves” of the area whom have taken the responsibility of protecting the villagers from outside intruders from entering the village.

Mighty generous some would say but alas, their services are not for free. They have demanded to be provided some crops and livestock from the village every two weeks. And that’s where Red Riding Hoods enter. They are responsible of dropping off said supplies at a certain drop off inside the forest. Red Riding Hoods must be able to easily navigate through the dense forest for faster delivery of the supplies. They don a red hood as an indicator that they are allies to the wolves so as to not to mistakenly attack them.

One of those Red Riding Hoods happens to be your grandmother. She would be leaving for quite a while and come back with great stories of her adventures through the forest. It could be as great as catching sight of the mightily beasts or as mundane as finding a rare herb, you soaked it all up earning you a great curiosity what’s beyond those dense forest. She even mentioned coming across a wolf pup who wouldn’t let her go until she gave him some food. You both laughed at the story while also telling you not to tell anyone and it’ll be your little secret. She emphasized how the wolves are very private creatures and doesn’t really like interacting with humans. She brings life and wonder of what’s beyond the forest and not just a habitat of dangerous beasts.

But one day, your grandmother never made it home. She disappeared. She never came back from delivering the supplies. There’s a rule where once a Red Riding Hood haven’t returned in a week, they are presumed dead and a new Red Riding Hood is titled. A rule some would say is absurd, but considering how dangerous the forest is it seemed to make sense. And most cases where Red Riding Hoods not returning, they either end up found dead or still missing.

Your grandmother’s disappearance could be enough to drive you away from the forest, but you still have hope that she’s still out there. So you resorted to ways where you could go into the forest without trouble. Become a Red Riding Hood.

The only knowledge you have of the forest is your grandmother’s stories which does give information but not enough to get you to be a master navigator. SO you spent the rest of your teenage years studying about navigating and studying the on the forest that is available. After years and years of studying, you finally find yourself fit to be a Red Riding Hood. Teachers and Professors are willing to put in a good word for you when you applied to be a Red Riding Hood. And after going through a tedious process of paperwork and testing, you finally did it. You are now a Red Riding Hood. You may be doing it because you want closure on your grandmother’s disappearance, but you still felt that childlike giddiness now that you’re just like your amazing grandmother.

And here you are at the village gates waiting for the gates to open to enter the forest. Nervous and excited, that’s what you are. You’ve always been a curious little bean, so seeing more of the forest beyond just illustrations and books is beyond exciting. But you’re also nervous because who wouldn’t be when the most dangerous forest in the kingdom is right there where wild beasts could maul you anytime. So yeah, nervous and excited. To calm your nerves, you resorted to count the supplies and double…well triple check in this case.

“Nervous?” a man in knight uniform approached you.

“Atsushi! Yes. Seeing the forest up close like this is…”you looked up and took a view of the forest “pretty intimidating”

“Ah I told you Akkun is fine. Might as well get familiar with each other since I’ll be escorting you to the gates from now on. And if it’s any consolation, this is my first time being near the forest too.”

You chuckled at his nervous face when gazing at the forest which you can definitely relate too. Knowing someone else might relate to you comforted you a little.

“Welp! Off I go then!” you said cheerfully trying to ignore your nerves.

“Take care okay. And thank you for your service to the village.”

“An honor to serve the village. See ya!” you said before taking off.

You’ve been travelling for two days and you came to one conclusion. You were definitely being followed. You don’t really have any evidence you were being followed but you can just feel it. You barely slept last night, but at least you’re already at the drop off point. So you quickly did your tasks so you can travel back home already and hopefully not get mauled by a beast.

Just as you were thinking of that, you heard leaves from a branch rustle. Your face paled and your body was paralyzed. ‘Not on my first day please not on my first day” you pleaded with your eyes closed. You slowly opened your eyes and turned your head towards the direction of the rustle.

You came into eye contact with a guy. No wait, uh, he has dog or maybe was it wolf ears. He must probably one of the wolves. But when learning about the wolves you assumed they would look more…wolf-like and not human-like.

“Hey.” The guy? Dog? Wolf? Said trying to get your attention

“Uhm, can I- can I help you?” you hoped you said that loud enough for him to hear you still were shocked of what you came across.

“Ya got food on ya?”he asked and stepping out from the bush.

“Yea, I just locked it in the drop off point.”

He looked at the drop off point and looked back at you. “That’s great! But what I mean is a spare food you guys have a lot of those right?” he said with somewhat an excited look on his eyes. You even caught a glimpse of his wagging tail behind him.

“Well the food on me is for me while I travel.” You explained while patting your bag.

“Aww. How about a bite then?” he asked stepping near your bag and sniffing a little which caused him to drool a bit.

“No can do, sorry”

“A nibble then?” he asked crouching down next to your bag and looking up at you giving you the puppy eyes. You almost cooed out loud because admittedly he looked cute looking like that. You shook your head “N-no” you faltered.

As you said that, his face turned into a frown and his ears started to droop down. ‘Oh no not the ears, not the ears! Hhnnggg those cute ears and those fluffy hair aagghh!’You sighed and reached for your bag “Alright, fine”

“Hell yeah!” he stood up and took the sandwich you handed him with bright eyes. It isn’t a problem really; you made extra the amount of food for your travels to gauge how much you’ll need for next time. As the guy devoured the sandwich, you started to observe him. Long dark hair one of the noticeable trait of his after his ears. Sharp canines which he made great use of while eating, and amber eyes which were now looking at you. ‘Oh’ how long have you been staring at him? You felt yourself blush at the thought of getting caught but brushed it off.

“So, I hope you enjoyed it!”you tried making conversation

The guy gave you a smile that showed off his canines. “Definitely! It was just as good as your grandmother’s haha.” He said while patting his tummy.

“Wait-huh? My grandmother’s?”

“Was she not your grandmother? There used to be a nice old lady who gave me food all the time when she goes here.”

‘Could it be?!’

“A-are you by chance talking about my grandmother?!” you asked enthusiastically getting close to him in the process…well maybe too close judging by the fact that he stepped back a little.

“Yes…” he said now the one thinking you’re strange

“H-h-how do you know my grandmother and I were related?” your thoughts were going a mile a minute that turning those thoughts into words is a bit of a struggle.

“Well, you both smelled similar.”

“Eh?”

“Your scent.”

You stared at him before backing away and covering yourself “Have you been sniffing me?!”

“Wha- I was sniffing your bag I just got a whiff of you!”

“And how were you able to do that?!”

“I’m a wolf!”

“Oh” you realized feeling a little bit dumb. But at least you got a confirmation of what he is.

The guy in front of you sighed and said “Why don’t we start over. I’m Baji Keisuke, one of the wolves defending you village from the forest a pleasure to meet you.” He held out his hand for you to shake, which you accepted. “Gotta say, didn’t expect for you guys to change the Red Riding Hood so soon.”

Feeling like some tension was taken off, you decided to be friendly. “What can I say, I guess I impressed the village head with my top notch navigating skills.” you giggled at your faux arrogance which also earned the now named Baji a chuckle.

“So… you knew my grandmother?”

“I knew her as that nice lady with good food, other than that I don’t really remember much, was just a pup after all.”

Ah, you remember now. You recall your grandmother telling you stories about a wolf pup always bothering her until he gets food. With how he acted earlier, you definitely can connect the dots now.

“So how is she? Haven’t seen her for a long time.”

At that you felt yourself get sad for a bit. “I was hoping you would know something about it actually.”

He raised his brow at that statement “What do you mean?”

You looked at him before saying “She…she went missing. Here in the forest.”

“Oh. I see.” He said while looking down having a guess on what happened

“Don’t look so down, I still have hope that she’s still somewhere out there!” you declared full of confidence, you were determined to get to the bottom of your grandmother’s disappearance and Baji could sense that.

“Mind if I join you in that little quest of yours?”

You looked at him in surprise and delight you grabbed his hands and looked at him with bright eyes “Really?! You would do that?” you asked brimming with gratefulness.

Baji blushed a little bit at the sudden contact and proximity but you were just so excited to get help from someone that has a connection to your grandmother outside of the village that you failed to notice his flustered face. “Of course. Consider that as payment from the snack you gave me.”

“Oh you don’t have to worry about that.”

He smiled at you at that “Still, I would love to help you. She’s been a part of my childhood too albeit not as much as yours.”

“Thank you! Thank you thank you thank you!” you said while continuously bowing.

“H-hey save your thanks for later once we actually made progress.”

“Oh r-right, ehehe”

“You better get going. You’ve got quite a long journey back home.”

“That’s true. I’ll take my leave then! It was very nice to meet you!”

As you were about to leave you felt him tug at your sleeve prompting you to look at him “Hey what do you say I escort you back to your village?”

“Really?” you asked though you find it hard to say no to a little extra protection from the forest’s dangers “Would that be ok?”

“Of course! Besides I like you!” he declared which made you blush heavily “No-wait uh, that didn’t come out right. What I was trying to say is that uh, your grandmother talks about from time to time so I kind of got an idea of what you were like so yea.” He let out a nervous laugh and though ‘The hell was that explanation, did it even make sense???’

“W-well I’ll be in your care then!” you tried to change the subject since this conversation is making you more and more flustered.

“Right!” he gave you a mock salute and went off to lead the way.

Through your journey, the sunset came about you. Baji stepped forward and held his hand towards the setting sun. He seemed to be gauging something before saying “We got a an hour or so before the sun completely sets. Let’s settle right here and set up camp.”

“Ok ok, I’ll grab some firewood not far from here.”

“Hmm, got a tent with you? I can set it up while you’re gathering.”

“Yes! Yes I do.” You answered handing it to him “Thank you very much.”

“Not a problem. Off you go now make sure to gather enough before dark.”

“I’ll be right back then.” Just as you said that, Baji noticed something move in his peripherals.

Finding firewood wasn’t that difficult and you find yourself content with the amount you have gathered. As you were finishing up, you heard a rustle to your right. “Ah Baji you didn’t have to come here I was…just…” it wasn’t Baji. And judging by the fact that this creature was eyeing you up as its next meal, it was safe to assume that it wasn’t gonna be as friendly as Baji was.

You tried to keep steady so as to not provoke the creature, but that didn’t matter since it started to approach you sizing you up. You’ve had training where you were taught how to defend yourself from these beasts and escape quickly but facing off with the real deal like this caused you to have a mental block.

You tried slowly reaching for your weapon—which is a measly knife—but it’ll have to do. But even the smallest of movements is enough to provoke it and was now charging at you in full speed. You were about to run but in the blink of an eye the beast’s head was crushed. And right on top of that crushed head is Baji’s foot. You were about to approach him but then he started stomping on the beast’s head flattening it to the ground. He then went towards its body and started to slash at it with his claws that you didn’t notice until now. He slashed and diced until all that’s left was just minced meat.

He took out what looked to be a handkerchief and wiped his face and hands before turning to face you. What he saw wasn’t exactly pleasant. You had a pale face with your trembling hands in front of you. He hopes he didn’t scare you too much, but what he did was necessary lest the creature go limping without its head. He took cautious steps towards you and you seemed to be rooted where you stand.

Who wouldn’t be intimidated at such a display? You knew it was necessary for both your survival but that was just too much for you to handle right now. On your first day no less. When you noticed Baji stepping towards you, you didn’t know what to do so you just stayed there. You were so lost in thought that you were surprised when you felt warmth around your hands. You looked down and saw him holding your hands. It was so big and warm and so…comforting.

Baji held your hands tenderly trying to calm you down. Once he felt your hands stop trembling, he asked you softly. “You doing ok now?”

His deep voice was enough to ground you to reality and be at the moment. “Oh I’ll….I’ll be fine. Just trying to process everything really.” Seeing one of the said protectors of your village in action is a lot, add on the fact that you were just in grave danger it’s a lot to take in. And he understood that.

“Why don’t we head back to the camp and rest there for a while then?”

So that’s what you two did. Seated by the campfire while you both stare at the bonfire, both of you not really knowing how to break the ice. You decided and went for it though so blurted out “That was impressive.”

“What is?”

“You overpowering something thrice your size. Didn’t even had a chance against you, you just stepped on it like a small bug.”

“It’s technically our job to get rid of those guys fast and efficiently.”

“Was mincing it really necessary? I mean you destroyed it’s head surely it must’ve died by then.”

“It’s mostly just a precaution really. That thing found us quite near our camp so I didn’t wanna take any chances.”

“I see.” As soon as you said that silence overcame the two of you once again. It wasn’t a comfortable silence nor was it an awkward silence. Just silence.

Baji got tired of it though. He looked at his surroundings before letting out a grunt as he stands up. “Come on, I wanna show you something. It’s not far from here.” He said as he offered you a hand to help you up.

You let him lead the way. You two walked for about two to three minutes until you ended up in a grass field where he stopped in his tracks. Was this the place, there isn’t much to see around here.

Baji suddenly bolted and ran through the fields in different patterns. You looked at him incredulously wondering what the hell he was doing. Before you could ponder on what purpose of his running was, you suddenly see a trail of gold light following after him. It didn’t take long for you to realize “Fireflies!”

They looked oh so beautiful with the moonlit night. As beautiful as they are your attention was on something completely different. Seeing Baji jumping and hopping around somehow made your heart skip a beat. ‘I don’t know maybe it’s his handsome mug?’

“Hey! Come on run with me!” Didn’t have to tell you twice. For the next ten minutes all you two did was run around while also trying to catch fireflies and letting them go not long after. It’s a cute activity except when Baji started to catch them with his mouth asking if it makes him glow. Which you firmly said no and proceeded to scold him, except it happened more than once so now you’re chasing after him to free those poor fireflies.

You managed to tackle him down but when you looked at him there was nothing in his mouth anymore. So here you are lying on top of him. You blushed at your position and quickly got off him for you to then lie down beside him. He was still laughing from the experience doing his best to calm his laughter down. You two are now staring at the stars while lying down and surrounded by fireflies.

“Beautiful place isn’t it?”

“Yeah” you sighed in contentment

“The forest is a scary place. It’s full of dangers and predators ready to pounce on its prey. But at the same time it can also be beautiful. It’s little wonders like these that give life to the forest. What you experienced earlier is a terrifying experience, but I ask you not to let that incident define how you view this place after all, it is my home. And maybe…your grandmother’s too.”

You sat up from your position and turned to look at him. “Thank you.” You chuckled after saying that “How much did I thank you just for today?”

“Don’t know wasn’t really keeping count. Besides,” he sat up “nothing wrong with being grateful.”

“We should take our rest; we still have quite a lot of land to travel through tomorrow. Especially you, you just went berserk just earlier.”

“Are you kidding I could easily take one of those guys again right now with ease.”

“Don’t jinx us.”

“Hahaha my bad, my bad,”

Your two day trip was shortened to a day and a half. And now the village walls is in your view already.

“Woah! Thanks for the help and of course for escorting me all the way here.”

“Don’t sell yourself short. Managing to trek through these forests to the drop off point in only two days is commendable. You’re a Red Riding Hood for a good reason.”

“Oh come on you’re making me blush from those praise.” You muttered while holding your cheeks.

“Oh you got a thing for praises then?”

“What?”

“Huh?”

Baji cleared his throat and said “Well uh looks like we’ll be seeing each other quite often huh.”

“Oh yeah yeah.”

“Until next time then?”

“Of course!” you answered quite enthusiastically

“Save me some snacks for next time then!” he waved at you before disappearing in the forest.

A very interesting first day you must admit.

You’re currently at your home taking your rest until the next excursion in the forest. You’re gonna have to set a routine and a new lifestyle so you can get used to your new job. As you’re taking your rest, your mind started to wander to that wolf you just met. He’s very energetic but you had a feeling you haven’t gotten the full experience just yet.

Now that you think about it, was it normal for wolves to escort Red Riding Hoods? It would make sense since they’re carrying something that the wolves need but that doesn’t explain the continuous disappearances of them. Maybe it happens occasionally. When you were studying, you haven’t come across any accounts that states they’ve been escorted by a wolf before. The only explanation you could think of is that since wolves are private creatures they don’t want them talking about how they are. Well the best way to find answers is to ask someone who’s been a Red Riding Hood before.

“Who did what now?” the man in front of you asked, shock written all over his face.

“A wolf escorted me home and I was wondering if that were normal for us.”

“Y-you came across a wolf?” he asked still in disbelief. He then stood up instantly “Do you realize what this means?! No one has seen any of the wolves for decades now!” The man then started to mutter and spouting details you couldn’t really make out so you just slowly backed away. Well now you know it’s definitely not normal. He was probably just helping you out cause he was familiar with your grandmother…and the food, can’t forget about that.

After all that deliberation here you are again nearing the drop off point to of course drop off the crops and livestock. You’re sat beside a large tree near it taking a little bit of rest before travelling back home again. When you felt well rested enough, you reached for your bag to take off only to find out it’s not there. Well that’s worrisome, but said worries were set aside when you heard someone clear their throat from above you.

“Looking for this?~” Baji asked while holding out the bag as he sits on a tree branch.

“Baji! Come on give it back!” he lowered the bag to you but pulled it out of your reach went you went to grab for it which made you chuckle. You tried to grab it from him multiple times jumping up and down. “Hardi har har Baji, now give it back or else I won’t be able to give you your snacks.” You persuaded which surprisingly worked on him as he jumped down from the tree branch.

He held out the bag to you but went to a sprint before you could grab it. “Catch me first! Hahaha” run after him you did. You figured that he wasn’t running in his top speed as you were able to easily catch up to him. No way were you able to outrun a wolf and you weren’t exactly the fastest either. Just as you thought you were close to him, he jumped up and onto a tree.

He turned to you and held his hand out “Upsy daisy!”

That caught you off guard “I’m not exactly a tree climber.”

“Don’t worry I got you!” he smiled at you with that wide smile where his sharp canines were on display. With such a charming smile, you couldn’t bring yourself to say no so you took his outstretched hand. You were much surprised when he was able to lift you up with just one hand.

He then handed the bag to you and climbed up higher and reached his hand out again. “We’re going higher?”

“Yeah I wanna show you something”

“How will we get down?”

“I’ll carry you down.”

You gave this a thought if it would be a good idea. You concluded that seeing the forest from a bird’s eye view can be very helpful especially in travelling. “Alright then.”

The higher you two get, the tighter the grip you had on Baji. He couldn’t help but silently smile at the thought that you trusted him in such a situation. Not long after, you two were at the top of the tree where the view of the large dense forest came to greet you. “Wow!” you gawked at the view while Baji basked in viewing the wonder in your eyes. “Look! I can see a little glimpse of the village’s gate from here!” you exclaimed pointing at its direction.

“They are pretty tall.” He acknowledged

You continued to sightsee and take in the large display of trees. You were taken out of your attention when you heard howling. You turned to Baji whose back was on you. You saw his flattened ears on his head, so you adjusted yourself to look at him and confirmed that it’s him who’s howling. “What are you doing?” you asked curiously

He turned to you and gave you a smirk. And that view got you blushing, his smirk along with the wind blowing his hair back with the large forest as the backdrop. After giving you the reassuring smirk, he continued to howl towards the forest for a few more seconds before pausing, waiting for something. Suddenly you heard howling coming from different directions of the forest.

Baji barked out laughter when he heard them. “THOSE ARE MY PALS!” he declared proudly. “You wanna meet them someday?”

“Can I?!?!” you asked excitedly. The idea of getting to know more about him and his friendships excited you.

You realize that your spot right now is a nice place to eat. So you fetched the food that you prepared for him. You decided to cook two servings of stir fried noodles since you figured that this man most likely had a gigantic stomach judging by the fact with how he devoured your sandwich last time.

Baji being the ever vigilant wolf that he is, smelt the food you took out and quickly sat beside you waiting to be handed the delicious smelling food. You even caught a glimpse of his wagging tail.

You held out the container to him but quickly pulled it back as he went to grab for it laughing at his pouty face paired with droopy ears. “Payback time.” He went and grabbed for it again but you managed to swipe it away from his reach. He tried again and again until your entire arm was outstretched while he was leaning on you as he tried to reach the container. It didn’t take long for you two to realize that he was basically hugging you with both his hands stretched out to reach the container and you in between his arms.

Both of you were quick to separate and sat there a little embarrassed flushing at the thought of how close you two were. “Here” you placed the container on his lap.

“Th-thanks”

A few moments has passed and you heard him starting to eat. Baji thinks that it’s delicious! It even reminded him of a certain food he loves back home but his mind is currently at how close they were earlier. You felt warm he could cuddle you all day just stay in your arms basking in its warmth. “Do you like it?”

“Mmfff!” He answered while also nodding his head. “We have something similar back home too!”

“Glad you enjoyed it. So uh,” you looked down from the tree “How exactly are we gonna get down?”

“Hmm? Oh, I’ll just carry you down.” He offered you his back “Just hang on to me and I’ll do the climbing down.

You appreciated that he was willing to do something like that but the thought of hanging on his back at such a height makes you scared that you’ll accidentally let go of him.

Baji sensed the anxiety you were currently having and thought of something else. “Th-then how about hanging from my front then.”

“Huh?”

“You clearly didn’t like the first idea and this is the only alternative I can think of.”

That was quite a smooth move whether it was his intention or not didn’t matter. Nevertheless clinging or basically hugging him until you get down didn’t seem like a bad idea. And you like being in his arms from earlier.

“That’ll do then.”

“Alright! Come on over here then.” He opened his arms with a wide smile trying to hide his fluster.

As you two got into position, both of you couldn’t help but focus on the breathing that’s right next to your ears. You give a pretty tight hug too. He lifted your thighs and guided them to wrap around his waist. The position was admittedly quite suggestive but he didn’t have any complaints and as he’s observed it seemed to be ok with you too. “Hang on tight.” He said as he started his descent.

As he was descending, you couldn’t help but pay attention to the breathing and grunts coming from him. You felt shame for thinking such thoughts so you just focused on the wind in your hair as he jumps from branch to branch and in no time at all you’re both back to the ground.

Once your feet were on the ground, you leaned back from your embrace with Baji. You still had your arms on his shoulders and his hands on your waist with you two just looking at each other. You caught a movement from his head and saw a caterpillar on his hair which made you giggle.

“What?” he asked concerned if he somehow looked silly.

“Nothing you just got a friendly guy hanging on you.” You reached for the caterpillar and let it crawl to your hand. As you wait for it to get to your hand, you felt how soft Baji’s hair actually was. You only assumed when since it looked like it, but getting to feel it it’s even softer than you expected.

The whole time Baji was just admiring you since he didn’t usually get a close look at you so he’s making the most out of this situation. He watched you place said caterpillar on a nearby bush letting it go in its merry way.

After that little encounter, you both agreed to start your journey back to the village. And thus another delivery as a Red Riding Hood has finished.

The both of you developed a routine where every time you are to do your duties, he would meet you at the drop off point, eat whatever you had prepared for him, and then show you a part of the forest he believes you would like. He never failed to bring a smile on your face when touring you through the forest. Then he’ll be on his way when you’re near the village. You’ve had this steady lifestyle for months until one day…

You were waiting for Baji because you just know that he’s on his way to get his precious snack. Your relaxed stated was disrupted when you smelt something burning. ‘That’s not good’ you thought It definitely wasn’t the smell of burning bonfire. You immediately rushed towards the direction of the burning hoping that it wasn’t the start of a forest fire.

Arriving at the scene, you were relieved it wasn’t a forest fire, but that relief was short lived because what you saw was somehow just as bad. There Baji was holding down a beast which is burning. “BAJI?!”

Your call made him turn to look at you. The sight of you made him widen his eyes in surprise “Stay back! I’ll handle this!” he said as he smacked the beast with a flaming torch before jumping away. He grabbed you in a hug and hid behind a tree where you only heard the flames getting bigger before silence.

You tried to look behind the tree but Baji only tightened his hold on you. The sound of something blowing up then overwhelmed you as you buried you head in his chest. A few more moments after that, Baji then loosened his hold on you. Once again you tried looking behind the tree only to find ashes everywhere. Nothing in the surrounding seemed to be burnt; the only evidence of there being a fire was the ashes and a missing patch of grass.

Before Baji could say anything, you smacked him upside the head. “What were you thinking?!?! You could’ve started something disastrous doing something like that!”

“But I didn’t~” he said before letting out a nervous laugh.

You went up real close to his face and said “You better NOT do this again or no more snacks for you!”

“Yes ma’am!”

You sighed and decided to take his word on it for now. “What even drove you to burning that beast?” you asked rubbing your temples

When you looked at him, he was guiltily looking down at his lap his ears droopy too, a clear sign of his guilt “I was hungry.” He said while in a pout.

“Come again?”

“I was hungryyyy” he whined “I easily get riled up when I’m hungry. That beast just attacked me at the wrong time.”

You sighed again not wanting to explore the topic any further. You took out a handkerchief and proceeded to wipe at his face “Look at you, you’re covered in soot.”

“So are you.”

“You know a place where we can wash up?”

Baji was silent for a moment trying to think of any. After a few moments, his face lighted up “I remember, there’s a river near hear with a small waterfall. I remember taking a bath there once.”

“Let’s head there then. Besides, a meal is much better after a bath after all.”

It wasn’t that long of a walk until you two came about the river he was talking about. The water in the river was crystal clear and the breeze around the area was refreshing thanks to the waterfall. You dipped your hand in the water to gauge its temperature which was just right it’s cold enough to be refreshing but not too cold that you’ll freeze. Maybe a little dip won’t hurt.

Unbeknownst to you, while you were observing the river, Baji was already shedding his clothes and was now running towards the river taking a dive. Your thoughts were interrupted when you heard a splash near you. You instinctively tried to cover yourself from being splashed. It doesn’t take a genius to deduct what was the source of that splash. “Baji!”

Baji resurfaced from the water and pushed his hair back all while laughing at your reaction “My bad, my bad.”

“You have to be mindful of others…around…you…” you drawled out after seeing Baji’s shirtless figure. Thank goodness for the sun’s reflection on the water or you would’ve gotten a full frontal view.

“You like the view?” he said with a big smirk on his face while also raising his eyebrow fascinated at how you were ogling him.

You were quick to turn your back to him to prevent yourself from staring. “Wh-why yes, this river is wonderful.”

“Not exactly what I’m referring to.” He teased

“Oh would you just shut it.” You blurted out in frustration. You were flushing so hard right now; you can’t bring yourself to face him like this.

“Oh well, it’s your decision to not take a dip. I mean it would be a shame for you not to experience the very cool river.” He sarcastically said while swimming over to the waterfall and washing his hair thoroughly through it. “ Ahh~ feels like I’m washing my problems away.”

You tried your best to remain firm but you find yourself turning to look at him curious as to what he was doing. And the sight of him washing his hair underneath a waterfall was such an enticing sight that you wanted to join him right then and there, but you were still embarrassed. You haven’t been naked in front of anyone, but the thought of being naked in front of Baji didn’t really bother you, you just felt shy.

Baji finished washing his hair before turning to look at you again. When he saw you still rooted in place, he swam over to you. “Come on take a dip, the water’s great. And weren’t you the one who said that a meal is much better after a bath?”

Few moments has passed of you just pondering the situation before answering “T-turn around.”

“Huh?” he asked in disbelief

“I said turn around. Don’t really feel comfortable being watched while getting naked.”

“Oh, OH right right! Uhh ok!” you heard a few splashes before you turned around to make sure. And there he is, his back turned to you—goodness even his back is such an eye candy.

You quickly make work of your clothes before taking a dip. In Baji’s opinion, the sound of your clothes rustling is much worse for him instead of just outright watching you get naked. Imagination is a powerful yet troublesome thing.

The soft sound of the water rippling as you stepped into the water rang in Baji’s ears refraining himself to look at your direction. “You should give the waterfall a try. It’ll also speed up the process if need be.”

Step under the waterfall you did. And to quote what Baji said, it really does feel like all your worries were being washed away. Baji then went back to washing himself once he was sure that you were settled nicely. Him minding his own business was quickly thrown to the side when he heard you let out a squeal. He quickly turned to look at you and he low-key regretted it. The sight of you and your pretty figure with water running down your body was more than enough to rile him up even more. He wanted to pounce on you right then and there. He clenched both his hands and his jaw trying to maintain what little is left of his self-control. But try as he might, he can’t make himself to look away from you his eyes stayed glued to you and you only, he was starting to have tunnel vision.

That tree branch sure did surprise you, now you felt silly for reacting such a way. You brushed that little incident off and went back to washing yourself which was paused the instant you felt an intense gaze on you. You turned to look at Baji since he’s the only person you knew who could be looking at you.

“Eep!” you squealed—yet again—out of embarrassment, not wanting to see his reaction to how you look so you quickly swan to the other side of the waterfall where he couldn’t or vaguely see you.

The second squeal you let out was enough for him to break out of his aroused stupor. Now with only concern in his mind, he swam near the waterfall but didn’t cross it. “Hey you ok in there?”

“Y-yeah!”

“Why’d you squeal earlier then?”

“You were looking at me earlier and I was embarrassed!”

There was a pause from his side “S-sorry about that I didn’t mean to. I was just concerned. Are you ok by the way?” he asked. You can hear the worry laced in his voice, and he did apologize so you decided to let it go.

“O-o that I was just-uh” you paused a little embarrassed to admit “A branch brushed my leg and I was startled. N-nothing to be concerned about.”

“That’s good.”

There was a pause once again. You only stared at each other’s figure albeit being distorted from the waterfall between you. “You’re beautiful.” Baji blurted out

“Huh?” you blushed at the sudden confession.

“I’m sorry, you were so irresistible to me I couldn’t help but stare I-I…” you saw his figure hold his face in his hands as if in shame “You’re a grown woman, surely you have an idea on what I’m feeling right now.”

You didn’t really have any words, you were speechless. But that’s not to say you disliked the knowledge that he saw you that way. In fact, it excited you. You reached out your hand to his side and took hold of his hands which were still holding his face. “No need to feel ashamed, I’m flattered actually.” You said as you then cupped his cheeks “Besides, you weren’t the only one staring.”

That admittance caused Baji to tense up. The thought of you looking at him the same way as he was looking at you was enough to rile him up again only this time, you were only a step away from him with you touching him. Once again he clenched his fists and jaw to maintain what’s left of his self control “Stop that. You don’t know what you’re doing.” He said with a slight tremble at his voice due to him trying to keep himself in place.

“What if I do know what I’m doing?” right now at this moment, you wanted to be as close to him as possible let him hold you close and do whatever he wants.

You felt some sort of vibration on your hands on his cheek. Was he growling? “You sure know how to rile a man up.” You heard him say through clenched teeth.

You realized you’ve made him wait long enough. You pulled your hands away from him and stepped back further in the waterfall to make room for him. “Come on over, must be lonely out there on your own.”

At first Baji was worried that he scared you off when you pulled you hands away, but you inviting him over excited him even more that he just knows how dilated his pupils were. Good thing the water was above the waist too or you would’ve gotten a view of his tail wagging aggressively.

You watched as he slowly stepped through the waterfall between you and seeing him all wet with some of his hair sticking to his in his naked glory brought you to arousal already.

Baji could say the same too. The sight of you all wet shyly covering yourself out of shyness from him was too much for him that he ended up caging you between his arms and the wall.

You two were close, too close with just a few inches between you as he pinned you. And yet it wasn’t close enough to your liking so you decided to fix that yourself. You threw your arms around his neck and brought your lips together with his which he gladly reciprocated. You felt how he was still trying to be gentle on you so you decided to rile him up. In the middle of your kiss, you gave his lips a long lick making him suck said tongue in turn. He then went to focus on your lips again sucking and biting which made you moan. Said moan turned Baji on even more as he shoved you further into the wall and dove to your neck giving it a hard bite pulling yet again another moan from you. The bite was hard but not hard enough to break skin yet hard enough to leave a mark that’ll be there for days. He gave the bite mark a lick before trailing butterfly kisses from your neck all the way up to your ear.

“I should’ve warned you earlier.” He said kissing your ear “I bite” he then proceeded to nibble at your ear while his hands were now roaming all over you feeling you up.

You didn’t want to be the only receiving end, so you proceeded to feel him up as well. You hands going to places you’ve always been curious about. First being his hair. You ran your hands repeatedly through his hair feeling how soft it is despite being wet. The next is his back; you’ve wanted to feel it ever since you caught sight of it earlier. You traced your hands on every muscle you could feel on his back starting from his shoulder blades and lower. You couldn’t help but wonder what it’ll be like when he’s thrusting into you. Third is his ears. You’ve always wondered if they were sensitive since it always seem to react to the tiniest bit of sound that not even you could pick up. You gave it a tentative touch and watch it twitch. You played with it for a while until you felt Baji’s nibbling to go harder.

Baji pulled away from your ear and dove for your lips making out with you as you both felt each other up. You were indulging in Baji’s kisses too much that you didn’t notice his hands going for your chest until he started playing with you nipples, pinching and twisting it while also squeezing your breast from time to time. The whole time he was doing so, you’ve been whimpering at the sensation. Baji was quick to put your breasts into his mouth sucking and nipping. As he does so, you started to feel something hard between your legs.

Naturally, you went and grabbed for it giving him slow strokes which earned a growl from him. A very welcome surprise for you, so you gladly kept doing it while his bites on your chests grow harder and harder. Eventually, Baji had enough of it. He grabbed your hand that was busy and pinned it to the wall next to you as he buried his face to your neck. “Careful now.” He growled

“Careful of what? I’ll welcome anything you have to offer, Baji.”

He gave you a tender look before going to kiss you again. As he was kissing, his free hand snaked down to your private parts and began to rub at it. Your moans from the action were swallowed by Baji as he kept kissing you. “You’re quite wet already aren’t you.” He said in between kisses.

“You sure it’s not just the water?” you teased

“Why don’t we find out ourselves.” He said with his signature smirk while inserted a finger in you making you gasp in surprise which he took advantage of tasting every bit of you through the kiss. Baji started to pull his finger in and out of you feeling your very slippery walls.

“I don’t know, it seems to me that the wetness is from you not the river.”

You didn’t even bother to answer, only focusing the feeling of Baji’s finger in you. You waited in anticipation as a second finger went up in you pulling a loud moan from you.

“Was two fingers too much for you, babe?” he swirled his fingers in you that made you squirm against him. “How are you going to handle me then?”

“B-baji please!” you pleaded as you looked at him with glossy eyes.

Baji would’ve loved to tease you more, but the sight of you begging and being putty under his hands is the straw that broke the camel’s back. He pulled out his fingers from you and grabbed your legs to lift you up against the wall. While in this position, you can feel his tip rubbing against you. Baji not wanting a moment to go to waste, entered you waiting for you to signal him to enter more until he is fully sheathed within you.

For a while you two stayed like that, basking in this very intimate embrace until you get used to the feeling of him in you. Once you felt ready, you called out to him.

“Keisuke”

“Hmm?”

“Take me.”

Baji gave your lips a peck “Anything my lady wants.”

He then pulled out from you leaving only the tip before slamming back in you. The act caused you to moan and squirm against him spurring him on even more to do it again. The first few moments he gave you slow and heavy thrusts but over time his hips started to move faster and faster leaving you a moaning mess against him. You can hear him growling and snarling as kept thrusting into you bringing you bliss every time. Baji only seemed to get turned on even more as he make love to you. The combination your sounds the feeling of your body against him and the feeling of your insides was driving him over the edge.

He dove for the space between your neck and shoulders and bit you his primal instincts taking over. The feeling of him biting you caused you to grab hold of his hair as you clenched around him.

In turn, the feeling of you clenching around him and pulling his hair only caused him to bite even harder. The act making you clench around him again. And thus it became a cycle throughout your session with his thrusts only growing harder as you two came near your climax. All you could hear was his muffled grunting and growling against your neck, his mouth still occupied by biting you. Not long after the familiar feeling of climax came upon you.

“Keisuke please! I-I”

He paid no attention to your words as kept his pace steady already knowing what’s going on. It didn’t take long until he heard you moan out his name out loud and feeling you cream all over him. He paused for a bit letting you take a breather. He went for a kiss making out with you before continuing to thrust in you again. You let him have his way with you as he chased after his high. A minute or so has passed of him just thrusting up to you until you hear his stuttering moan before feeling him pull out and rubbing himself before shooting out his load. You mimicked his action from earlier and gave him a kiss after his orgasm.

He let you down from your position before pulling you into a hug which you gladly returned. Being in his embrace after such an intimate endeavour felt romantic for you for some reason.

“How are you?” he asked as he strokes your head with so much tenderness you just wanted to melt into him.

“Amazing. I don’t know how else to word it.”

“I wasn’t too rough on you was I?” he asked looking at your bit marks in concern.

You noticed where his gaze was before smiling at him. “I would’ve smacked you upside the head if I didn’t like anything what you were doing. And I told you I’ll take everything you had to offer.”

“That’s good to hear.” He sighed in relief before kissing you. Said kiss started off innocent but eventually grew in fervor where he was now nibbling at your lips.

“B-baji?”

He pulled away and asked you “I know it’s too much to ask of you, but can you handle one more for me?” while caressing your waist.

“H-huh? Already?!” you gaped at him in surprise

“I told you, you’re irresistible to me. And I’ll only do it If you’re ok with it.” He emphasized

You were tired and winded from your first round, but the thought of a second round only aroused you despite what your body feels. You were definitely lying to yourself if you told yourself you didn’t want more.

As an answer to him, you jumped up and wrapped your legs around him again which he swiftly caught. “I’ll be in your care.

Baji definitely lit up hearing your answer. He gave you a deep kiss and said “I promise I’ll take good care for you the whole time.”

And just like that you were once again overwhelmed by the sounds of waterfall, your moans and his grunts inside the shallow cavern from behind the waterfall.

Just as he promised, he took good care of you drying you off, and dressing you up before cuddling you in a soft patch of grass beneath the shade of a tree. His arms felt so warm around you that you couldn’t help but fall asleep.

When you awoke, you realize you were lying down on his lap. The view that greeted you was Baji eating his serving of stir fried noodles. He swallowed the food in his mouth before speaking “Hope you don’t mind me eating while you slept. After all that I got hungry.”

“It’s ok you don’t have to worry about it.” You said as you slowly sat up “Besides better that than waking up to you burning yet another beast. And whose fault was it I was this tired?” you teased

Baji only laughed at your teasing before holding your chin and guiding you to him to give you a kiss. “I’d gladly do all it again if I’m being totally honest.”

You looked at him and said “No one is exactly stopping you.”

He went near your ear and whispered “Is that an invitation?”

You playfully pushed him away “Not right now you doofus.” You said chuckling.

Baji scooped you into his arms and onto his lap hugging you tight “I just wanna gobble you up all day.” He said nuzzling his face on your neck before looking up and giving you another kiss. After having a taste of you he just couldn’t get enough. He wanted to go back for more and more. Baji’s feelings were translated into the kiss where he continued to deepen it while also beginning to nibble on your lips.

You knew where this was going you wanted more of him too, but unfortunately you decided against it tapping on his shoulder before pulling away saliva still connecting you both. You wiped your lips before speaking “Very tempting really, but we should rest. We still have the journey back.”

Baji’s face turned into a pout before burying his face in your neck again his droopy ear tickling your cheek. The sight was too adorable you couldn’t help but pet said soft looking ears. Baji hummed in content as his ears perked up again, taking pleasure in your attention. “Come on, Baji up we go. We still have to set up camp before nightfall.” You coerced while patting his back.

He let out a low whine before standing up picking you up with him which made you giggle while giving him a kiss on the cheek. Once your camp was set up, you two settled for the night, lying down next to each other. It didn’t take long before you’re all over each other again. Both of you agreed not to go further than kissing tonight, after all you still need energy to go home. Who knows how long you two were kissing until you both fell asleep in each other’s arms. Baji holding you close and you holding his fluffy tail.

As you enter the village gates, Akkun happily greeted you “Welcome back! I hope it’s been a safe jou- WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU?!” he looked you over in concern

“What’s wrong?”

“Look at your neck! You’ve got bites on you! You have to go to a medic right away!” he frantically said while pushing you to a carriage that was supposed to drive you home.

Oh goodness gracious. Baji’s bite marks didn’t even occur to you. You stepped away from his pushy hands and tried to reason with him “C-calm down Akkun. This isn’t anything fatal; otherwise I would’ve been rushing here. It didn’t even break skin, look just bruised.”

Akkun only looked at you in disbelief “A-are you sure sure? Those look pretty gnarly. Might be safer to get it looked over.”

“I’ll be fiiine~ It’s just some troublesome creature that didn’t let go until he was satisfied.” You said looking back at you and Baji’s intimacy. He really didn’t let you go until he was satisfied. You only chuckled at the memory.

“Sorry if I’m a little bit pushy, but are you sureyou don’t want that looked over?”

“I’m sure. It’ll disappear in a few days.” You then remembered how hard Baji was biting you and concluded that a few days might be too short “…maybe.”

You opened the carriage door before turning to the knight “Thanks for the concern Akkun, but I’ll be fine.” You said before boarding.

“Take good care of yourself. I wouldn’t want the reason for a new Red Riding Hood to be appointed because the last one died.” He jokingly said before closing the carriage door and signalling the driver that everything’s ready.

Akkun watched as the vehicle went off still a little bit concerned. Just then a knight came near him and said “I sense that our little Red Riding Hood has been having fun in the forest.”

Akkun gawked at the statement before giving said knight a light punch to the stomach “Get your head out of the gutter, Makoto!” he scolded one of his subordinates.

“I don’t recall any creature that can give such a bite and not break skin.” A knight with glasses stated.

“Not you too, Yamagishi! Takuya help me out here!” Akkun turned to the person who seemed sane along with him in their little team.

Takuya only turned to him and shrugged “I’m somewhat of a biter myself and those looked familiar to me.”

Akkun gave up, these three can be stupid in their own way at times, even more stupid than Yamagishi.

Seasons come and go faster than we realize and before you knew it, winter is upon the land. Since winter is a very harsh weather for travel, Red Riding Hoods are only required to deliver supplies once a month. As much as you’re happy at the little break from your job, you can’t help but be sad too. Seeing Baji less brought your spirits a little down, but a job is a job and you must see through it if you wanna live comfortably.

So here you are the lone red in a backdrop of a harsh white, like blood in snow. It’s not supposed to be there. You hope that thought coming to your mind is not some kind of bad omen.

Sadly fate followed through with that omen. You being the only red thing among the snow, you are very noticeable and a winter beast has been eyeing you for a while now. You noticed that someone or something has been following you, but you assumed that it was just Baji, but when he didn’t turn up you figured that it wasn’t him and now you’re extra vigilant.

As much as you would’ve loved to run, doing so in such a situation can only provoke what’s been following you into chasing you so you did your best not to make any sudden moves.

You were too focused on not spurring whatever’s been following you that you didn’t notice that you’ve already arrived at your destination. You make quick work of locking in the supplies in the drop off point since you suspected that whatever is following you is after the food.

Just as you were locking up, you heard a loud roar which likely came from the beast that’s now making a beeline towards the place containing the food. You tried to jump out of its way but it was still able to reach you and pushed you out of the way quite harshly. You ended but getting scratched by its claws but at least you landed on the soft snow.

You looked at the beast trying to claw at the container, but failing to get it to open. You took that opportunity to run away and put some distance between you and it. The beast having found the container futile, decided to go after the running prey. Just as you think you have lost the beast, you heard it coming near you. So you continued to run away trying to think of a way to shake it off you tail. You were so lost in thought that you didn’t see the branches that you ran into it. You were quick to get up but wasn’t able to run away since your red cloak got caught. You tried to make quick work on it, but you noticed that the beast is gaining on you. You pulled as hard as you could to your cloak that when it was free you stumbled back and hit your head to a nearby tree.

Now feeling a little dizzy, your run was slowed and a little wobbly. You eventually ran into a dead end. The wall didn’t seem to be too high; you know it’s within your abilities to climb it. But with your dizzy state, you were seeing double and that climbing said wall can result to even more injury.

You looked back and saw the beast slowly coming towards you. All you could do was close your eyes and hope that it won’t be painful. And so you waited…

And waited…

Until warmth envelopes you. You didn’t know what’s going on but you welcomed said warmth. It reminded you of the warmth Baji provided whenever he held you close to him. Oh how you so badly wanted him to be here right now.

You opened your eyes and was greeted by red against white. It was the blood of the beast flowing down onto the snow. You processed that someone was holding you and you were greeted by the comforting dark locks and amber gaze of Baji. He looks at you in guilt as if blaming himself of what just happened. You couldn’t stand the look of him bearing the sins of a mindless beast.

You reached out your hand to cup his cheek and gave him a grateful smile. “Baji, thank you. You saved me you have nothing to be guilty about.”

Baji tightened his hold on you and kissed your forehead. “I know, I just felt responsible since you’re very special to me and I want to protect everything that’s special to me.” Baji leaned down and pecked your lips “You’re one of my treasures. I can’t bear to lose you.” He said his eyes on the verge of tears.

“And I’m still here thanks to you. You protected your treasure.” You returned his kiss before hugging him “Baji, I’m tired. Can I go to sleep?”

“Not yet, we have to get you looked over.” He said worry laced in his voice as he gently stroke your head as if trying to push your dizziness away.

“I’ll be in your care.”

You didn’t remember much that happened after. All you could recall was the cold wind against you as Baji rushed through the forest, the sight of a cave above you along with a lilac haired man with matching ears before everything went to black.

Once Baji is sure that you’re settled, he put on his coat and started to head out.

“Where do you think you’re going?” the guy tending your wounds asked.

“Don’t stop me, Mitsuya. That beast’s body is still intact; I’ll go finish it off.”

Mitsuya stood up from beside you and took hs coat. “No you won’t, I’ll handle it. You watch over your precious. She’d be more comforted if she saw a familiar face when she wakes up.”

Baji clenched his fist, his eyes full of vengeance. “I’ll destroy every bit of that beast. I’d make its soul suffer if I could.” He muttered in clenched teeth his rage leaking out.

Mitsuya knew that Baji being in this state will only be bad for him in the end, so he decided to slap some sense into him. Mitsuya grabbed hold of Baji’s face and made him turn to your sleeping state “Look at her! You want to leave her here just so you could satiate your hunger for revenge?! You already killed the thing, she’s already in a safe state now go take care of her. I’ll handle the beast’s body.”

The sight of your peaceful face was enough to soften Baji’s intense anger and admittedly he really didn’t want to leave you here. If he could he would stay with you forever to protect you from ever being harmed again.

Mitsuya sensed that Baji has calmed down and let go of his face. “I’ll be off now. Take care ok?”

Baji only gave out a nod before kneeling down next to you. Mitsuya smiled at the sight of this Baji not having seen it often. But he’s glad that he has someone special that he can be himself with. No wonder he’s been in a good mood lately. And like that he’s off to the forest to leave the two be.

Morning came, and you roused from your slumber taking comfort in the warmth next to you. It was so familiar that you’re sure that it was who you thought it was. You looked up and saw Baji’s sleeping face his hair cascading across his face that he looked to ethereal. You wish you could burn the image into your mind. He’s as handsome as ever. You lifted your hand and slowly pushed the stray hairs on his face to behind his ears, but the action caused him to stir awake.

You waited for him to open his eyes, before flashing him a big smile “Sorry for waking you.”

Baji stayed silent just looking at you before his eyes widened and sat up quickly and leaning on to you. “Y-you’re awake?! Are you feeling ok, you feel anything unusual, hungry, thirsty?” he bombarded you with questions in concern.

Before you could respond, he dove for the bag right next to him and pulled out a canteen and handed it to you. Now that you’re looking at it, you did felt thirsty so you gladly took it and took a big gulp sighing in relief after quenching you thirst. Baji took the canteen from you as you were finished and handed you a container filled with food which you gladly devoured.

Baji only watched you closely trying to see if there’s anything to be concerned about. So far, you’ve been fine but he couldn’t help but worry after yesterday’s display. “How’s the cut on your arm?”

“Hmm?” you swallowed the food still in your mouth and felt around the bandaged wound. “It feels just fine. It’s like it’s never been there in the first place.”

Baji smiled at the information and gently grabbed your arm. He started to remove the bandages causing you to pull your arm in surprise “What are you doing?”

“You’ll see.” He held out his hand waiting for you to place your arm there. You trust Baji so you gave your arm to him.

He continued to remove the bandage and you were expecting to see a nasty wound, but what greeted you was your clean smooth skin which caused you to stare at your arm incredulously. Baji chuckled at your surprised face finding it cute. “A friend of mine patched you up. He’s no medic, but he’s very well prepared for situations like these.” He explained while caressing your healed arm. “He had an ointment on him that medics back home created made from herbs found in the forest. With a forest so big, there are a lot of things unexplored.” He looked up at you “It would seem that your village hasn’t discovered such a thing just yet.”

“That’s amazing!” you said still looking at your completely healed arm.

“I’d teach you to make it if I could, but sadly medicine isn’t a field I’m very knowledgeable with.”

“Then how about your friend? I wish I could’ve met him too.”

Baji chuckled “He doesn’t know how to make it too. He only carries it around because the rest of us can be muscleheads sometimes.”

“Well I get to learn it someday.” You said leaning into him as he hugged you “It would be a great asset to our village.” The thought of your village made you realize something. “How long was I out?” you asked concern written in your eyes.

“You’ve been out for a day. Why, is something wrong?”

“I-I have to get back home quickly!” you said quickly standing causing your vision to swirl. You wobbled but Baji caught you.

“H-hey calm down. Why in such a rush?”

“I have to get home quick!”

“W-why you shouldn’t even be moving too much. The ointment may have healed you but your body is still recovering from healing external wounds. You can’t be out and about right now especially in this cold weather.”

The reminder of the season caused you to shiver, suddenly feeling the cold. Baji tightened his hug when he felt you shiver. “I have to go home.” You said

“That sounded like there was an ‘or else’ was supposed to follow it.”

“I have to go home or… or I’ll be declared dead.” Baji tensed at that statement.

Baji pulled away from you to look at you but still close enough to hold you. “You’ll be declared dead?” he stared at the distance trying to figure it out but came to no reasonable reason “Why?”

“Being a Red Riding Hood is a dangerous job. We’re aware of what we’re getting into. They have a rule set in place where once a Red Riding Hood has not returned in the designated time, they will be declared dead.” You looked at Baji to see his reaction and he is infuriated. You could see his jaw clenching and his body tense ever since you started to explain the situation.

“Why don’t they send out a search party to look for missing Red Riding Hoods? Surely some of them only got lost.”

“Think about it Baji, you yourself are very familiar with the dangers of the forest. Do you think that those who went missing only got lost?”

“Then how about your grandmother, do you believe she’s dead too just because people who are too lazy to look for them declared that they’re dead?” he raised his voice which caused you to flinch a bit. He reached for your hand and you let him “I’m sorry, but you yourself have experienced the loss of someone out here. You still have hope to find your grandmother remember?” he reassured recalling one of your first conversations.

The rule has always been stupid in your eyes, but after years of studying of being a Red Riding Hood, they must have somehow buried that thought deep in you. Brainwashing you into thinking that said rule is a reasonable one. But thinking about it more, said rule is the reason you’re not with your grandmother anymore.

Too much emotion was going through you that you held on to Baji for comfort. In fact, it was too comforting that you ended up falling asleep in his arms. Baji gave the crown of your head a kiss before laying you back down and letting you rest. You need all the rest you can get because he just knows that you’ll insist on getting home once you wake up. He might even just carry you all the way there.

By the time you woke up, it was already evening. You smelled something good and saw Baji roasting something over the fire.

“Well rested?” he asked when he noticed you sit up.

“Like I could run a marathon!”

Baji sweatdropped and tried to reason “M-maybe not to that extent.”

“Well I technically have to run for a long time until I get home.”

“No need for that, I’ll just carry you. You can just enjoy the ride.” He said with a smirk no doubt confident in his abilities.

You chuckled at him “You know, when you say it like that something else comes to my mind you know.” You said blush slowly forming on your cheeks.

There was a slight pause as Baji processed what you just said just staring at you with wide eyes. He then smirked and said “There you are again riling me up.”

“Do you not like it?” you asked teasingly returning the smirk

“Never said such a thing.” He said as he took out whatever he was roasting off the fire.

You stood up and walked over to him not playing around. You lifted your leg over him and sat on his lap facing him. “Getting bold now are we.” He said his smirk growing bigger anticipating what will happen next.

“Are you still taking me for a ride?” you felt up his chest lacing your voice with a sultry tone trying to get him in the mood.

Baji placed his hands at your waist caressing it and occasionally wandering down to your butt. “In what context.” He teased

“You know…ride you.” You went close to him and gave his lips a kitten lick.

“I’m gonna need you to be more specific, darling.” He said before diving into your neck licking you there before giving you the first hickey of the night while also giving your butt a light smack.

“Please Baji! If you don’t take me right now I won’t be feeding you for the next month!”

“You treat me as if I’m some food motivated animal.” He said kissing you

“You sure act like it sometimes.” You responded in between his kisses.

Baji pulled away and looked at you with very dilated pupils. “Oh really? Then…” he lifted you up from where he was sitting and laid you down on your makeshift bed in the cave. “how about I eat you up. You’ll be my delicious meal for tonight.”

He went in to kiss you and took comfort of his tongue intertwined with yours. He indulged himself on your lips for a few more minutes before working to undress you and himself. Not long after, you two were passionately making out in the nude his hair cascading around you acting as sort of like a curtain, your only privacy.

Baji then slowly trailed kisses down to your neck where he placed a few more hickeys before proceeding to your chest. He took hold of it appreciating the feel of it against his hands before suckling on your nipples alternating between the two. After a few bite marks were given to your chest, he gave your tummy kisses.

You gasped when you felt Baji’s breath near your private parts. He adjusted himself and made room to slowly spread your legs. Guess you really were is meal, he looked starved when he caught sight of your glistening folds. Baji sat up and took a hair tie from his clothes and tied his hair back “Gotta make sure nothing gets in the way of my feast.” He placed your legs over his shoulders, held you down and gave your thighs a few bite marks.

Moans came out of your mouth as you felt his tongue give you a long lick tasting. Oh how he loved hearing those sounds knowing that he was the one to cause those. Baji gave her repeated licks savouring the taste of her burning it to his mind because he couldn’t get enough of it.

Baji was relentless, his tongue overwhelming you with sensations completely new to you. His pliant tongue a completely different experience from his thrusts back when you two were behind that waterfall. He was precise and you felt him everywhere, well it felt like it because the feel of him is the only thing you could feel and focus on.

After spending a while tasting your wetness, indulging himself in your taste. He figured he has tasted you enough that he should pay attention to your needs now. But you’d have to disagree as just his curious exploring was pleasurable as it is. Baji went to look for that bundle of nerves, and as soon as he came in contact with it, he felt you squirm away. Baji took hold of your legs on his shoulders and pulled you back and pinning you down. Now you’re a squirming and moaning mess underneath the mercy of his tongue. The stimulation was too much as you tried to squirm away once again but his tight grip on you prevented you from moving even a single inch from him.

The cave you two were in was filled with your moans and his slurping echoing across it which brought you an ounce of embarrassment and arousal. Just hearing those sounds excited you more, there’s something primalin the act of doing it in a cave, the thought bringing you excitement.

You felt around you trying to look for leverage to hold on to ground yourself from these sensations, but you settled at grabbing his hair and pulling occasionally. Since you couldn’t do anything but receive Baji’s actions, you were curious as to what he looked like and so you propped yourself on your elbows and peeked. What greeted you were Baji’s amber eyes staring at you intensely. The sight of Baji staring at you as he ate you out caused more wetness to gush out of you thoroughly aroused at the thought that he’s been watching you from the start.

Baji has been watching you, anticipating every single reaction he pulls out from you. He must know everything about you and how like to be pleasured, learning every single thing that brings you pleasure and excitement and exploiting them. Maybe even take advantage of it for the next time you get intimate. Everything about you just drives him crazy. He was in a daze he couldn’t stop and before he knew it a loud moan greeted his ears as fluids gushed out from you. He licked off every single drop off you clean before sitting up and licking his lips. He admired you and your limp and heavy breathing form, taking pride at his work.

As you were trying to catch your breath, you felt Baji lean over your figure and placed a kiss on your lips. Soon you felt something prodding at your entrance, but not right now. Not just yet. You sat up and pushed Baji into a sitting position with you leaning close to his face.

“That can wait. I have a different plan for now.” You said as you reached your hand behind his head and pulled his hair tie off his hair. You showed the object to Baji before using it to tie your hair back “Gotta make sure nothing gets in the way.” You quoted Baji from earlier which earned a chuckle from him.

You started to mimic how he went down on you. First kissing his neck and also leaving your little hickey before going down to his chest licking and tasting him. You took your time at his abdomen admiring it while also teasing him making him think that you’ll finally go down on him only to lick upwards again. You gave in after hearing him growl. You looked at him and his size seemed to lean on the bigger side. You weren’t sure if you could take all of him in your mouth, but might as well try.

You gave his tip a kiss and a lick before putting it in your mouth, swirling your tongue around just his tip. Trying to tease him more, you licked from the base of his cock all the way up slowly and flicking your tongue as you got to the tip. That seemed to be what caused Baji to snap. He grabbed you by the hair and shoved himself in your mouth. You giggled at his desperation before you started bobbing your head up and down your tongue still working in action.

Baji moaned loudly, throwing his head back as he indulged in the feeling of your mouth sucking him off. But he wasn’t one to pass up the sight of you and your face stuffed with his cock. He looked down and the sight almost made him come. He would’ve been done for if you were looking at him. Baji was quick to pull you away from him and kissing you. All the while kissing you, he pushed you down and hovered over you just appreciating in your beauty.

You could never tire of the view you have above you right now. Dishevelled hair around you both, his glistening lips, and the warm light of the bonfire made him appear even more sexier. It’s like everything around you was adjusting to you and Baji. Nothing else mattered except this moment between you two.

“Be a good girl for me and lie on your stomach, would you.”

Anything for him. You repositioned yourself and waited for Baji to make a move. You felt him kiss the small of your back his loose hair tickling you and made you squirm a little causing your butt to brush up to something hard.

Baji chuckled “Eager now, are we.” Ah, looks like he mistook it. No matter, you’ll both feel good later on anyway.

Baji’s hands explored your smooth back appreciating the feel of it against his hands and how you react to his every single touch whether it be a slight twitch or a whimper out of you, it excites him even more.

He leaned down to your ear “You ready?”

Once he saw you nod in response, he bit at your neck whilst inserting himself inside you. The feeling of each other’s closeness had you two letting out hot breaths, calming yourselves and letting you adjust to him. When you gave him the go ahead, he started ramming his hips into you. He couldn’t help himself from ravaging you, he’s been holding himself back ever since from the start.

You felt him lean down and felt his chest come into contact with your back as he continued to thrust into you. His pace started to quicken even more so you grabbed the nearest thing to you as leverage which happened to be Baji’s coat.

As soon as he saw you clutching at his coat, it sent him into overdrive standing on his knees and elevating your hips and holding your head down. He gave your butt a few smacks then proceeding to drive his hips into you once again. Baji pulled your hair up causing you to be on all fours.

“Look at you taking me so well.” He moaned out biting your neck once again “This is the third time I’ve been in you, right? You took me so well all times. Made me feel real good I couldn’t stop thinking about you after that.” He said between grunts.

Just as he said those words, he felt you clench at him “A-ahn~ you r-really do like praises huh.”

“You remember that? When I brought you back for the first time. You liked it when I sang you praises. Guess it carries over here too huh. Agh!” your insides clenched at him again. He grabbed your chin and made you face him “Driving me crazy here.” He kissed your lips tongue never failing to explore you.

After a few minutes of you two going at it, you eventually arrived at your climax which had you plop down on the makeshift bed ass still up. Baji rubbed himself a few more times before covering your back in white letting out a sigh of satisfaction.

Your back covered in his cum aroused him again; it makes him want to cover you with even more. But he knows he can’t, you still have to rest for tomorrow’s journey. He leaned down at your shoulder and bit down as his last ditch effort to satiate his current hunger, but sadly it only turned him on even more as he heard you moan in response to his bite.

You can tell that Baji is still raring to go but is holding himself back. “Keisuke,” you called in a breathy voice still trying to catch your breath “What’s stopping you?”

“Tomorrow, you need rest for tomorrow.” He kissed you again finding your dazed look to be irresistible.

“I thought you offered to carry me all the way home.” You teased

“I did say that.”

“And speaking of rides,” You sat up and sat on his lap, your cunt sliding against his already semi hard cock “I haven’t gotten my ride for tonight.”

Baji relented, grabbing your waist and guiding you to hover over his cock. “Do as you please.” He said with a smirk licking your collarbone.

Slowly, you sank yourself onto him with Baji’s arms stiff on your waist restraining himself from just slamming you down on him. It’s your ride, you do as you please. But goodness you sure are a good way to train his self-control because you keep testing him. By the time he’s fully in you, you caught sight of his knitted brows and a few droplets of sweat on his forehead.

You decide to spare him and slowly bounced yourself on him with Baji groaning in pleasure in response. You felt his hand on your waist go tighter. You can tell that he wants more, but you decide to just go at your pace going slowly. You low-key anticipate the impending rough treatment of you when he gets fed up with your ‘teasing’.

It didn’t take long before he’s biting on your neck and is now the one bouncing you on his cock. Baji laid on his back and continued to thrust up into you. You were glad he took initiative in this situation because you weren’t sure if your thighs could hold you up any longer considering his treatment of you in your first round.

Soon enough, you billowed out a moan your body twitching ever so slightly before collapsing on his chest. Baji pulled out of you and closed your thighs together and thrusted in there instead. The feeling of your soft lower lips and thighs rubbing him was what brought him to his second climax of the night. He felt you slowly dozing off on him. He pulled the blanket over the two of you before repositioning you into a much more comfortable sleeping position. He made sure to clean up the both of you before going to sleep himself.

You were woken up with Baji shaking you. When you woke up you were already dressed. “Time to go.”

You yawned and stretched before getting up preparing to leave. Travelling through the forest on a wolf’s perspective is a very new experience. You can’t help but close your eyes in bliss as you felt the wind in your hair blowing against you from the speed Baji was running. You vaguely remember this feeling when you were still injured after he saved you from the beast. You’re just happy you get to experience it again more clearly.

Baji suddenly came to a stop and when you looked ahead there are the gates of your village. On a normal circumstance you’d be happy at the sight of your home, but right now you’re only filled with dread. The gate lock was adorned with a red ribbon.

You hopped off Baji and approached said ribbon. “We’re too late.”

“What?! But you still have the rest of the day to return!”

“I know. They sure are quick to claim my death. Guess that’s that then.”

“You’re just gonna let them do that?!”

“Baji, once the ribbon is set there’s no way they’ll let me in anymore. It’s another one of those stupid rules. I’m not welcome here anymore.”

After all the work you did for them, they’re gonna dispose of you just like that??? Hell no, fuck those bastards, you’re not going back there. “You still have another place you’re welcome to go home to.”

Baji held his hand out to you “Come home with me. You’re more than welcome there. The pack would love you!”

You immediately took his hand. “If I’m being totally honest, I would prefer to be with you rather than stay in a place where not a lot cares about me. I missed you a lot when I couldn’t see you.”

Baji pulled you in for a hug and kissed you. “You’ve always been in my mind too. Now we don’t have to be apart anymore. We can be together whenever we want, wherever we want.”

“Let’s go to your home then.”

“Our home.” He corrected

“Yes, our home.”

And with that the two of you ran into the forest ready to start a new chapter in your lives where a new companion is by their side.

#baji keisuke x reader #baji x reader #baji keisuke smut #baji keisuke #baji x y/n #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers smut #tokyo revengers x y/n #baji #tokyo revengers x reader #keisuke baji #baji scenarios #baji imagines

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chrisevansgoodgirl · 3 years

Text

killing peggy carter

summary: you want revenge bc steve’s a bitch. (happy times, save for steve’s disappearance. everyone’s alive tho)

warnings: a darker steve. rough smut, a little questionable at times. a lot of angst bc i was in a mood.

pairing: steve rogers x reader, peggy carter x reader for a sec, and some steve x peggy ( 🤢 )

word count: about 9,800

a/n: not tagging anyone bc no one asked for this, i literally just wrote it like forever ago and decided to post it bc i haven’t posted in forever. also, if you go back far enough on my blog, you will see that i watch riverdale and honestly, i came up with this title before jughead wrote his emo story in the finale.

When Steve left, it was nothing short of devastating.

Your world had stopped. How could it not? You had been under the impression that someone was in love with you as much as you were in love with them. And god, you were so damn in love with Steve Rogers.

It had been a year and it still hurt just like it had that first day. You were better at hiding it now, using that as the only entertainment in your life. Being an Avenger wasn’t the same as it used to be. The world was good, you weren’t needed. Especially not while all these feelings of anger and resentment were growing inside you.

When Steve left, he took a lot. He took your heart, your soul, your fucking will to love and let yourself be loved, and he took your ability to be a hero. No hero had the darkness you had. No hero stayed out most nights dancing in sweaty and noisy clubs, being groped by strangers she couldn’t even take home because she was the definition of damaged. You had trust issues for days, and they weren’t going anywhere any time soon, if ever.

Bucky tried to help and sometimes, you had the energy to fake it. It always made him so happy to see you smiling or just talking to other men who clearly were attracted to you. But nothing would come of it. You couldn’t believe a word that any one of them said.

Steve used to look at you, tell you he loved you, tell he needed you, that he couldn’t do any of this without you. Then he had the chance to go back to Peggy Carter and he took it in a second, no hesitation. He didn’t even say goodbye.

You stayed out on the lake for three months, figuring he’d just gotten tied up. He would come back, you told yourself that every night. What finally broke you was when Nat and Bucky sat you down and told you it wasn’t going to happen. You’d always known but with confirmation from the two people that knew him best, you had to face reality. He’d left you and he wasn’t coming back.

It was a huge hit to your self-esteem. Maybe if you had been prettier. Smarter. Stronger. Better. But you were just you. Petty, small, aching. Ironically, that was how he had found you as well. The Avengers liked to bring in team members who had already been through too much. You hadn’t realized how vulnerable your past trauma made you to their type of coercion. You would do anything any of them asked. With Steve, it was different. More. And he had always known.

There was this pain in your chest that never went away. Sometimes you woke up gasping in the middle of the night, usually after a nightmare. It was as if there had been a hand around your neck. But there wasn’t because you were as alone as anyone could possibly be.

You didn’t mind it anymore. Hell, it was the only thing that you still had left of Steve. You burned everything else and not even that made you feel better. This was all much to Bucky’s dismay.

You would never tell a soul that you couldn’t part with his sketchbooks, that you had them hidden in a box underneath your bed. It was no one’s right to know. This pain was your own, the only thing you still had possession of.

You hadn’t been touched in his absence, even by yourself. It reminded you of all those times he would kiss along your skin and sing praises to your beauty. Sometimes, you wished you were ugly. Sometimes, you wished you could just get so ugly that no one would even want to look at you.

But that was not the case. You were that beautiful, strong, and caring woman Steve had fallen in love with, so they claimed. You were their responsibility. Their project. They would get you through this if it was the last thing they did. Nat, Bucky, and Sam tried merely out of their loyalty to Steve. Tony followed that lead and that meant Peter tried as well as he could. Wanda, still consumed by her own lost love, attempted, but she was probably the only person who could see you for what you were.

Thrown out trash. Abandoned, sharp pieces that could and would cut anyone who tried to help. You hated all the rest of them for not seeing it. You hated all the rest of them because in their eyes, you were still Steve’s girl.

You no longer had a boyfriend, a family, or friends. He took all of that away from you. And one day, when you were so sick of having nothing to do but feel sorry for yourself, you decided that you were going to return that favor.

Steve Rogers deserved to be just as heartbroken and empty as you. It drove you crazy. He had been the one to pursue you. He had been the one to insist that you were his, even said you were the best thing to ever happen to him.

Talking Bruce into helping was laughably easy. You claimed to need closure. You claimed you just wanted to know that Steve was happy. You wanted to tell him you forgave him. Bruce hadn’t seen you look this happy in a long while so he did what anyone would and said yes.

You wanted to wait. Steve was always so sentimental, the anniversary of the day he met Peggy was probably a day of extreme affection in their house. He probably made her breakfast, bought her some piece of jewelry that she wouldn’t even like, and spent all day telling her how much he loved her. You wanted to crash the party.

Part of you wished there was another way to do this, but there just wasn’t. Killing Peggy was the only way to take anything from him, and you had these dark fantasies that he would then kill you in retaliation. What a beautiful way to go, you hoped he would strangle you. You hoped he would set you on his lap one final time, wrap his hands around your neck, and stare into your eyes until you were gone.

Peggy was a great person, that much you felt bad about. But hadn’t Steve practically murdered you? And you were a great person before all of this. An eye for an eye. Did he think you were just going to disappear? No, he wasn’t going to get away with this any longer. He wasn’t going to get his happiness after he had ruined your whole life.

You wanted some years on them, you told Bruce ten years. Steve would be just shy of 50. You wondered what he’d look like. When he left, he had just started to get some gray hairs. You could remember that morning vividly. You wouldn’t have noticed if the sun hadn’t been shining in through the blinds perfectly onto his blonde hair. He blushed about 7 shades of red, but you promised him you didn’t mind. Because you loved him. He said he loved you back. Like an idiot, you believed him.

You arrived in his time with little care to how you looked. You weren’t here for anyone but him. You didn’t mind that everyone was staring at you oddly because instead of some huge, ugly dress, you were wearing black pants, a low-cut t-shirt, and a leather jacket.

You did need a weapon, however. Guns were cowardly. Poison could be fun. A knife, though. A knife would certainly get the point across. You tucked it into your boot and then you were on your way.

You found Peggy’s house easily. Bruce had made sure you knew where you were going and what to do if they had moved or anything like that. You’d known they would be in the same place. You’d known Steve would want to live in this domestic, pathetic lie.

There was a window that looked into the living room. It was mid-day, you figured Peggy was at work. What did Steve even do? Was there a specific activity he liked pairing with all the pure nothingness he was doing while his best friend suffered in Hydra’s hands?

You saw him sitting in a recliner in what you assumed was the living room. His hair was almost all gray, he’d cut it much shorter. Like how he used to have it, before everything with Tony and Bucky. Like how he had it when you met him. His beard was just as light and he had a few prominent wrinkles on his forehead and around his mouth. But that was as far as his aging went. His arms were still huge, his shoulders so broad, and you had the strongest feeling that that ass had held up.

You were about to go in, make your presence known when you realized he was reading a book. Your favorite book. He must have taken it with him because that looked distinctly like one of your many copies you hadn’t seen for quite some time.

You were furious, shaking and seeing red. No matter how hard you tried to breathe, you just couldn’t. You were going to cut Peggy’s heart about and show it to him. You were going to cover that ugly house with her blood. You were going to wreck him just as much as he wrecked you.

You watched Steve for three months and came to the harrowing conclusion that he was severely unhappy. Peggy would come home and they wouldn’t speak. They would sit down for dinner and say maybe five sentences to one another. They went to bed together, sometimes they had sex. You never stuck around for that because not only was that a major violation of her privacy, but damn, they were fucking boring.

When she woke up in the morning, he wouldn’t get up until she was gone. Then he would go for his run, you followed a couple of times as best you could to see if there was a piece of this puzzle you were missing. When he returned home, he would read or watch television, he went for a second run a few hours later, and returned home to do absolutely nothing but await her return.

Should this have made you happy? It didn’t. He would rather be unhappy with her than happy with you. But that was for one reason: his pride. He didn’t want to crawl back to you and admit that he made a mistake.

Your goals changed. You wanted to make him admit it. Not with words, he would never do that. But Steve was a faithful man. If you got him to stray, it would be indisputable.

You waited one morning until he was out on his run, then snuck into the house. You went through their kitchen, sometimes you moved things just to be a bitch. You went through their bedroom and discovered that Peggy had a terrible contraption that had the audacity to call itself a sex toy. That would be nice to throw in Steve’s face.

You tossed it onto the bed and got undressed as you made your way to the shower. Steve wouldn’t be gone much longer. And he would know something was very wrong when he saw your clothes.

You washed your hair, used Peggy’s soap, and only had to wait a couple of minutes after that. You heard him call out her name a few times. But then he got to the bedroom and you heard his steps hesitating.

“Peggy?”

He wouldn’t say your name, not ever. Because he could be wrong, he could be delusional. And to admit that he was still thinking about you after all this time, that was his idea of a loss.

You didn’t grab a towel as you pulled the shower curtain back and shut off the water. Dripping wet, you carefully padded across the tile floor and then out to the bedroom.

His eyes widened and he dropped to his knees. “What...what are you doing here?”

You shrugged, glancing around. “Thought I deserved a vacation.”

“Y/N, I am so—”

“Pathetic? Weak? Yeah, don’t worry, I know.” You moved closer to him, eyeing him pitifully. You were glad that you hadn’t crumbled. Months ago, you would have given anything just to hear his voice, just to see his fucking eyes. God, you hated him now.

“You’re angry, I understand.”

“Angry?” you scoffed. “Add dumb to the list.”

“I’m sorry that I hurt you—”

“You didn’t hurt me, you piece of shit. You destroyed me, you ruined my life. For all intents and purposes, you killed me. And I’m here to get my revenge.”

His eyebrows pulled together. “Revenge?”

You reached out to touch his face, trailed your fingers along his bottom lip. “Yeah, payback. I’m going to make sure I make you feel what you made me feel.”

He glared up at you. “Are you threatening me?”

“Yes.”

He finally stood, towering over you.

“Mmm, how I’ve missed this body.” You pressed yourself against him and as much as he acted like he didn’t like it, he never pulled away or tried to push you back. You were getting him wet and his shirt was starting to cling to his abs. You let your hands wander for a moment before they dropped down to his pants.

“Stop,” he said quietly.

And you did because you were never going to allow him to lie. Your turned up to him and stepped back.

He looked torn apart, confused. “Why are you here?”

You shrugged. “Why not?”

“That’s not an answer.”

“Well, it’s all you’re getting. You don’t need any other answer.”

“So, what’s the plan? How are you going to get your revenge?”

“I know you, Steve, I know that you believe in being a good and faithful man. I just want you to fuck me. That’s all.”

“Well, you know that’s not going to happen. You know I would never—”

“Cheat? So, then you’ve never fucked Peggy?”

“What?”

“You never left me, you never told me we were done. You, like the coward you are, just didn’t come back. Every time you’ve been with her is a lie, a cheat. You are a cheater.”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?! You keep acting like there was just one thing! There were a million things, Steve. You ruined everything that we were building. And you can apologize all you want, but until I return at least half of it, I’m stuck here with you.”

“I won’t fuck you.”

“Yet,” you pointed out. “Well, I should be going.”

He grabbed your arm. “Go home.”

“I am home, baby. You’re here and you’re my home.”

He frowned.

You yanked yourself out of his hold, bending over to grab your clothing all over the room. He wasn’t going to fuck you but that did not mean he wasn’t going to look at you. So, you gave him quite the show, just like you had in the past upon his request.

You disappeared into the bathroom as if it was so natural, as if it was your own. He made no moves to follow and said nothing. As you dried yourself off, you decided now was as good a time as any. “See that terrible thing on your bed?”

You heard him step a few times, then nothing.

You scoffed. “Maybe it has to do with your age.”

“It doesn’t.”

“Still. Pretty creepy you came back to a much younger Peggy.”

“I came back to the one I left.”

“Whatever you need to tell yourself.” You sauntered out and sent him one last smile before exiting the bedroom.

Peggy and Steve had a fight, so Peggy ducked out to some small diner. If you couldn’t get to him, you decided you were going to get to her. Peggy was sweet from the second you began speaking to her, feigning concern for her situation.

The first night you guys went out together, you wanted her to talk shit about Steve. She didn’t, she just got drunk and tried to get you much the same. You were taking her home because you truly were fearful of what would become of her without your help. And she kissed you. At first, you were startled, you pulled away out of fear and shock. She wasn’t Steve. In all your life since you’d met him, you never thought someone else was going to kiss you.

But then she looked terrified. Had she been reading you wrong? Had she messed everything up? Nah, you were adaptable. You kissed her back, explained you’d been hurt by some loser and it had been a while. She understood, or said she did, and then she was disappearing inside.

You were left wondering if Steve heard you, but not many lights in the house were on. He probably wasn’t home. Confirmed by your unlocked hotel door when you returned home just a couple of hours before sunrise.

Knowing it was him didn’t mean you weren’t going to pull your gun as you entered. He was sitting in one of the chairs at the tiny table near the tiny kitchen.

He arched an eyebrow. “That necessary?”

“I should have shot you the second I got here.” But you still tossed it onto the bed. “You know...this paints quite a scene, doesn’t it? You’re here, angry at me for being out late.” You let your purse fall to the floor, then your hideous cardigan. You had only shown up with one outfit, so shopping was necessary to keep up appearances. You didn’t know a lot about the 40s, but you didn’t want them to start burning women at the stake again because of you.

You made your way to him, straddling his lap as you took his face in your hands. “Are you upset that I broke curfew, daddy?”

He didn’t even bat an eye, but you knew that would get to him. “Where were you?”

“Out with your future wife.” One of many kickers, they had yet to get married. Peggy said it was because she wanted to wait. “Thought she would be willing to talk shit about you...thought it would make me feel better.”

“And? Did she give you anything you can use against me in the future?”

“Nah. She didn’t want to talk about you at all.”

He glared. “When are you going home?”

She shrugged. “Whenever I feel like it.” Your eyes moved over his face as you felt the deeply etched lines on his skin. “You don’t look 50 but I never thought... You remember when I found your gray hair?”

“Yeah... Thought you would leave me...that you’d want someone your age.”

“I like you like this, you know. Twice my age.”

“Have there been others?”

And just like that, the end of your friendly conversation. You pulled your hands away from him but stayed on top of him. “Others?”

“People...men you’ve let close.”

You scoffed. “Why would I do that?”

“I wanted...I thought you would move on.”

“People lie,” you pointed out. “You told me you loved me every day and then you just left. I can’t adequately explain to you how tired I am. I can’t do it again, I can’t even let myself try. I can’t get close to people the way I was close to you. I can’t move on. I can’t love someone else. I can’t do anything but hate you as much as I loved you.”

“I wasn’t lying—”

“You left. If you loved me as much as you said you did, you wouldn’t have been able to.”

“I do love you—”

You immediately pulled off him, rushing to get your feet back on the floor. No, no fucking way, he was not going to lie to you again. He was simply not allowed to anymore. You would not tolerate it.

“Y/N—”

“Get out of my hotel!” You pointed to the door. “Now, Steve, or I swear I will shoot you.”

He scoffed. “For what? Loving you?”

“You piece of shit.” You didn’t wait for him to say anything else. You stormed to the bathroom and locked the door before he could intrude yet again.

He knew you wouldn’t come back out, not while he was still there. All he could do was leave. For safe measure, he at least unloaded your gun and set it on the bedside table. Maybe if you had to find it and load again, you would lose some of your anger and not ended up taking a shot at him.

How dare he? He had no right to say that to you, no right to use that word. It meant nothing coming from him because there was the implied ‘but’ along with it. Before, he just loved you. Period. Now? He loved you. But what? He loved Peggy more? He loved this time more?

You thought you had been angry before. Even though the time you were spending with Peggy was diffusing that somewhat. Still, you never lost sight of what you wanted. Needed. The idea of Steve’s heartbreak was the only thing that could get you up in the morning.

He threw you off for a few days. Every time you tried to leave the hotel room just to do something a tad evil, you would end up in bed crying. Steve thankfully didn’t try to come back, you hated the thought of him seeing you like this, letting him know that he could still do this to you.

Peggy called. You gave her the number, just in case, and she used it to express her concern for you. It wasn’t like you not to want to hang out or to just be around and bump into her “randomly”. She invited you out for breakfast the first day, then lunch the next. You said you weren’t feeling well.

An excuse she stopped taking the third night. She wanted to go dancing with you, all while her asshole boyfriend stayed at home. How could you say no? You shouldn’t, this was the entire reason you were here.

You would kill her tonight. This time was a drag and you wanted to get home. To a place where you could wear pants or a t-shirt. A place where there weren’t so many preppy men in pastels or college sweaters.

Peggy picked you up, she wouldn’t stop staring. Had it been any other day, you might have even questioned why. But you weren’t going to enjoy this as much as you thought you would. It sucked, and honestly, it made you hate Steve even more. He was your downfall, he was also her downfall, but at least he would soon be utterly alone.

It had been hours. You were just trying to dance and let the music fill your mind, but this music was shit. If you had to hear one more man sing about wanting to hold a woman’s hand… Truly, you missed the filth of your time.

Peggy was the one that wanted to leave. Peggy was the one that wanted to walk away from all the noise of the city. Peggy was the one that took you to some sleazy motel, where she gave you the briefest of looks when she’d stopped you both on the sidewalk. She was also the one that kissed you when you didn’t say anything because what did you have to actually say?

Nothing. Not one thing. You had no idea how this plan had spiraled so terribly. You were meant to come here, kill her, throw it in Steve’s face, then bolt back home like none of it ever happened.

But you couldn’t kill her, not anymore, not after seeing what a miserable life she had with Steve. You hoped she would leave him, and not just to hurt him, but to help herself. You remembered the life she had in your world, the one she had created with your husband. It was so much better than the hell she was living in here.

So, you let her take you to a room. You let her kiss you, you let her tear your dress off, push you onto the bed, and crawl on top of you. Her lips moved everywhere over your legs, arms, and stomach, and they felt like fire because they belonged to someone who wasn’t Steve.

You hated how guilty you felt. You hated that your mind was seriously considering this a betrayal, cheating. But you were trying to be kinder to yourself. It wasn’t your fault that you had fallen so hard for someone and that you had made plans because someone had promised you forever.

She knew you were thinking about him. Not Steve, of course, but the someone you had once mentioned. She didn’t mind, she just promised she would try to make you forget. You forced yourself to be present, you turned off your mind when you could. She didn’t ask a lot of you, in reality.

She wanted to be on top, she wanted you to say her name and wouldn’t let you come until you asked nicely. It was probably around the third orgasm that you stopped feeling so awful, that all of those familiar sensations weren’t triggering memories and bitter resentment. That was what she gave you with her mouth alone and didn’t move until it was evident that your thoughts had simply melted away.

When she crawled back up to kiss you, she buried her fingers inside you. At that point, who the hell even was Steve Rogers? A distant, dull pain. Peggy was here, on top of you, biting your lip, telling you to come one more time, because she knew you had it in you.

She told you that you were beautiful, that she’d never seen a body like yours. She told you that you made her feel things Steve couldn’t, that you were fun and warm and kind, and she loved spending time with you.

You were covered in sweat, your skin painted with her lipstick and bites and other marks she left all over your skin. She hadn’t come yet and refused any offers you made her, she claimed she just wanted to focus on you for a moment.

When she finally pressed her soaking center against yours, you were in an odd amount of pain. You longed for something, so much, but you had no idea what. She pulled your hair, began kissing your neck, and rolled her hips hard. You pulled her hair back, pressed your hips up when she pressed down, whimpered her name, and told her she felt so good. It was when she started fucking you harder and faster, and you were getting really close once again, that you got the sick idea to rake your nails down her back. Hard enough to leave marks.

After her finish, she collapsed onto her side next to you. The way she looked at you was kind of scary, like you were worth a lot more than you knew you were. She also looked satisfied and you hadn’t seen that look since you’d shown up. And what a fucking crime that was. Yes, Steve was a dick, but fuck, that man could seriously fuck. Why was he denying her that?

You shoved her onto her back and sat on her face because you didn’t want to be thinking about him. She kept you there until you were shaking and so fuzzy you couldn’t even sit up on your own. A tad haphazardly, you insisted on getting your mouth on her. After some convincing on your part and a few pitying laughs from her as you nearly fell over the edge of the mattress because you were still dizzy, your tongue was sliding against her skin and her hands were locked in your hair.

She needed to get home, back to her boyfriend before he started to worry. You stuck around for a bit, reluctant to return to your apartment. Maybe this was it, maybe this was all you needed. Maybe it was just time to fucking go home.

You truly worried about all of the Bucky lectures you were going to get, all of those Natasha looks, those small ‘tsk’ sounds when Thor was not only upset but disappointed in you, the judgmental eyebrows Tony would be sending your way, and those puppy dog eyes from Peter. Goodness, you were sure Peter missed you. Bruce would never trust you again, no surprise there, you had lied to him. You hadn’t thought about the consequences of your actions when you first did this. You hated, at the time, that you didn’t care if you hurt anyone.

Game over. You weren’t going home not without having scored some points, but to win, you would just end up losing more. More, you now understood that you had taken all of it for granted. Yes, your friends were constant reminders of Steve and they had been acting like you were some mission they needed to complete, but at least they loved you. That was more than a lot of people had and you would let them know about all these epiphanies if they didn’t kill you as soon as you returned.

When you made it back to your apartment, it was only to get the necklace Wanda had given you a few years back for your birthday. It was this huge stone you never remembered the name of, something you rarely took off regardless of that.

The last thing you expected was to find Steve. He looked furious and maybe, just maybe, you were going to get the satisfaction of seeing that you hurt him before you left. “What the hell are you doing here?”

He was at the table again, jaw set, glaring at the wall straight ahead of him. You were trying to think if you’d ever seen him this angry, if you’d ever even heard stories of it. Probably not. He liked to act like you were so damn delicate. Though, maybe he had been onto something.

“Hey,” you snapped after receiving no response, “Why the fuck are you in my hotel room?”

Finally, he turned to you and for the first time ever, you were scared of him.

You kept your distance, you even began moving toward your bedside table where you had your gun stashed.

“I hope you’re not looking for this.” He reached down for a moment then tossed it onto the table noisily.

Shit. “Steve…”

“You fucked her.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He stood quickly, storming over to you. For a moment, you had been stunned, and it was enough for him to get several upper hands. It wasn’t as if he needed them to begin with, but with your delayed scattering back, he was able to grab you and pin you to the wall. You were completely defenseless in stupid, impractical heels and an ugly, impractical dress.

“Tell me you didn’t fuck her.”

You said nothing.

He scoffed harshly. “I fucking smelled you all over her…and now I smell her on you. You left those scratches on her back because you wanted me to know.”

“Honestly, I thought I would be gone by the time you found out or by the time you decided to confront me. In fact, if you leave now, I’ll be gone and you’ll never have to see me again.”

He narrowed his eyes.

“What? Isn’t that what you wanted?”

He didn’t say anything, instead, he grabbed the neckline of your dress and tore it open. He paid no mind to your startled shoving at his chest. His eyes moved over your skin quickly, you could tell he was getting angrier with every bruise he found.

You were going to play this off, bat away at his feelings just long enough for you to escape. “Steve, I—”

He grabbed your jaw and you immediately shut up. “Go take a shower.”

Your eyebrows pulled together.

“Now.”

“No, you fucking—”

“You can do it on your own or I can do it for you. But to be clear, I will not ask again, and I’m gonna count to ten before I really lose my patience. One, two, three—”

“Steve,” you tried softly. He was still holding you there, so tight that the idea of moving was laughable.

“Four, five—”

“Steve,” you were a tad more frantic, pushing at his forearm.

“Six, seven.” He finally pulled away from you and you bolted to the bathroom without a second thought. He told you to leave the door open and you listened because you no longer had the desire to push him.

You came out in a towel several minutes later. Most of your shower was spent just trying to calm down, the rest was using any product you had to try to get rid of her scent. You didn’t want to risk further angering him with any lingering mentions of Peggy.

He was just feet away from the door when you stepped out and once again, he showed no hesitation in ripping away what covered your body. He looked you over again, briefer this time, obviously displeased with what he saw. He’d hoped most of it was just the lipstick Peggy always wore.

“Are you wet?”

“What?”

“Your pussy. Are you wet?” He was condescendingly slow with every single word and your hand suddenly itched with the need to smack him.

“No.”

“Well, you’re a liar, so I don’t believe you,” he countered. “Check.”

“What?”

“Check,” he repeated. “Now. And if I have to keep repeating myself, you’re not going to like the way this night plays out.”

You averted your gaze as you brought your hand to your center. Your breath caught audibly as you ran your fingers through. Yes, he was an ass, but your body would never stop craving his touch.

“Show me.”

Begrudgingly, you brought your hand back to him.

“Wow, how did I know you were lying? Touch yourself. Keep touching yourself until you come.”

You snorted. “Eww, no—”

He slammed his hand against the wall behind you and you fell silent again. “The same rules apply. Do it or I will do it for you.”

He had never spoken to you like this. Sure, there were the bad missions. There were the times when he just needed to fuck you to forget all the shit he had to deal with. But there was never a moment where you wondered if he would lose control, if he would hurt you unintentionally. Right now, maybe it wasn’t so much that you thought he would. You had known him long enough, loved him long enough, that you knew exactly what kind of man he was. Maybe, right now, it was that you wanted him to hurt you.

Nothing could be worse than when he left you. Nothing he did was going to hurt more than when you went back home and you were, once more, without him. Meaning that you wanted to take everything that you possibly could from this moment. All the pain, all the bruises, all those emotional scars that would add to the ones from before that you had idiotically convinced yourself you could ever get rid of.

He knew you were considering your next move and arched an eyebrow at your continuing silence.

You shook your head. “No.”

One of his hands shot up to wrap around your neck, the other hand went to your cunt where he slid two fingers into you with embarrassing ease.

You brought your hands up to his forearm and dug your nails into his skin. The harder you scratched him, the harder he would choke you—it was something established early on in your relationship. And if he was choking you, you couldn’t moan or whine like he wanted you to.

For a moment, you both stayed still. For an entire second, it wasn’t that he had left you, that you had to track him down, that you fucked his girlfriend and he was fucking furious about it. For a second, it was just you and him, like it was all the times before.

The problem was pride. It wasn’t like before and neither one of you wanted to let the other pretend. He hurt you. You hurt him. Before no longer mattered. So, you shut your eyes and turned your face away from him.

He thrust his fingers just slightly harder than you would have liked, slightly harder than he would have liked. It would sting in the morning, but you wouldn’t hate it. Crescent-shaped cuts would be found everywhere on his skin and he would mourn that they were healing too fast. Both of you knew that this was it. The end.

You were wet, that obscene sound drowning out your choked noises. He absolutely loved this, loved you. He had thought being with Peggy again would make him feel like he was finally home. It took him so long to figure out that he was wrong, to realize that you were one of the few people that actually felt like home. You and Bucky, Nat, Sam, Tony, Wanda, Thor. Not Peggy.

And he could no longer pretend when he felt you tighten around his fingers. He was fucked up and he ruined things a lot of the time. It was just in his DNA, even the fucking serum couldn’t fix that. But prior to leaving, he’d never ruined anything with you. He hadn’t realized how much he missed fucking you because he always did that right.

“Open your eyes,” he ordered.

Instead, you pushed harder at his arm and turned further away from him. Your hips started to buck against his hand, and he knew you wanted this, but he knew you were not going to give in without some fight.

“Open your fucking eyes, Y/N.”

You were not going to. After all the hell he’d put you through? Fuck that, fuck him. You were never going to give him anything he wanted ever again.

He yanked his hand away from your pussy and grabbed your jaw to turn your face to him. He knew that wouldn’t work alone and in a move of desperation, kissed you. A move to get you to let your guard down—a weak move that would not work. As his knee came up to your cunt and you began grinding against it, he started biting your lip.

You buried one hand in his hair and started pulling harder than you should have. He released your jaw to do the same to you. This was much different than how he usually touched you. He’d always been rough, but this hurt, actually hurt.

You rode his thigh with no assistance from him. He let your face go and dropped your hair in search of another tactic. You were no longer kissing, you instead rested your head on his shoulder, eyes still squeezed shut. Even when he grabbed your ass painfully, and when he smacked you after all you did was scream. Even when he grabbed your breasts and pulled on your nipples.

You kept your eyes shut the entire time and he was growing furious. He wasn’t going to let you feel anything even resembling pleasure if you weren’t going to give into him. He pulled away and grabbed your hips.

You opened your eyes then, concerned about what he was doing to you next. He grabbed your shoulder and shoved you onto the bed before you could say a word. You were on your stomach, facing away from him, busy lamenting the loss of your finish. You heard him undressing as you attempted to regain your breath and composure.

He was on top of you before that happened, yanking your legs open before he crawled up, hands stopping on either side of your head. He wasn’t going to tease, he was going to fuck you like the brat you were—hard, mean, unforgiving. He lowered his hips until his cock was lined up with your entrance and then thrust in.

Your scream must have scared the hell out of the neighbors. You wouldn’t be surprised if the cops were being called right then. It wasn’t a pleasurable scream, you certainly liked that he was inside you, but that was just your body. Your heart ached in a way that it never had. You’d thought you were never going to feel him again, but it wasn’t some beautiful feeling of reconnection. You were at square one, you would have to crave his body all over again once this was over. You would go through those same agonizing withdrawals that had truly destroyed you those first few months.

Steve grabbed your hair again and shoved your face into the mattress. He didn’t care about taking it slow, making sure that you, his precious, sweet girlfriend, were okay. He felt just as torn up as you and he couldn’t afford emotional consideration when he was so fucked up. He only knew what he wanted, for you to look at him like you used to. He would do whatever he had to do to get it. Part of him didn’t care how low he would have to go. He wasn’t Captain America here, he didn’t have to live up to the same standards.

You blindly reached back to try to catch his arm, but your attempts never even touched him. He didn’t seem to care about what you were attempting, he just fucked you. He held you down as his hips slammed against your ass and he moaned loudly, shamelessly, selfishly. You finally caught a hold of his arm and used the heel of your palm to push, but since you were out of breath and had been for quite some time, you doubted that there was any real force behind it.

“Can’t breathe, baby?” he wondered, hips still snapping, the head of his cock reaching that delicious spot inside you.

You dug your nails into his skin even though it was an uncomfortable stretch and your muscles were screaming. You were screaming, too, despite everything, despite the lack of strategy in that, but this felt too good not to. You hadn’t been fucked like this in so long, this was what you knew you would never get from someone else. This deep, soul-level connection was a one-time deal. No one else was ever going to be able to give you this.

“If I let you up, you better fucking look at me. I’m not kidding, Y/N. I’ll fucking hold you down again until I fucking come.”

Once his hand lifted from your head, you turned up and gasped for air. It was a short-lived relief as soon as his hand pressed into your neck and angled your head back. It wasn’t that you were scared, and you should have been because you wholeheartedly believed his threat, it was that you were happy to have an excuse to give in. He was stronger than you, right? No one could blame you for giving in, hell, you were just trying to save yourself. Right?

Your eyes met his and his hips stuttered. A ragged breath fell from his lips, you felt it on your hair. That hard look in his eyes softened, he looked a lot like that man that had promised you he would come back to you.

“I love you,” he breathed.

Your eyes instantly filled with tears and you clamped your mouth shut. Both hands were buried in the bedsheets because you needed something to hold, something to tear at, something to destroy to cope with the burning anger that was consuming you.

“I’m sorry, I love you.” His body moved erratically against yours, desperate for all the things he’d longed for since he’d left you. The two of you were sick together, desperate, twisted people that proved it in bed. Peggy wasn’t like that and he was drowning trying to act like he was normal, like he was that same man that she had been with what felt like centuries ago.

He collapsed, chin pressing into the bend of your neck, and you felt his cum spilling into you. His arms wrapped around you, holding you tight as he rode out his finish. He didn’t stop, however, now he wanted to get you off. He wanted to feel those same pathetic, proud things he experienced whenever he played your body like an instrument.

You didn’t resist, what would be the point? You fucking deserved an orgasm, at the very least. You were ashamed to admit that you wanted it, needed it. You hadn’t honestly felt alive since he left you, but this reminded you what that was like.

He groaned when he felt you tightening around him, his hand wedging between you and the mattress to get to your clit. When he did, it was over and you crashed like a wave against the shore, and you saw stars, and you felt all those things you felt when you were happily in love with a man you thought loved you back.

So, in conclusion, you felt lies.

If he thought he could fuck reality out of your mind, he was sadly mistaken. You were coming down when your hand started sliding across the mattress. Your gun was not the only precaution you took—you’d known Natasha for years and she would strangle you if that was your only form of protection.

He was kissing down your spine when you located your knife, and he had just started to speak when you turned back and just stabbed. You had a general awareness of where he was, you knew you weren’t going to kill him, and you didn’t want to. You just needed to get away, before he started talking, apologizing, making more promises.

You didn’t wait to see where you stabbed, you simply clawed away from him until you could jump from the bed. He cried out and you heard him grabbing for you, but you couldn’t stop for anything. On your bedstand was the necklace you had shown up for, you grabbed it, along with your long coat and then you were on your way out the door.

Running around completely naked in the 40s, clutching a trench coat you knew you weren’t going to leave without, shoeless, dripping sweat and cum—you’d never thought your beautiful life with Steve Rogers would take you here.

A Bucky Barnes lecture was the last thing you wanted, but it was the only thing you would be receiving for probably several months. Well, when he was done with his silent treatment. He was furious when you returned, he didn’t say a word to you. Everyone else had completely fawned over you. They hugged you, pet your hair, told you how proud they were that you came home.

Bucky just stared at you and when they all parted so he could speak to you, he simply stormed out of Bruce’s lab. But yes, Bruce was a tad betrayed, your expectation on that had been correct. You apologized profusely and brought him coffee every day, several times a day until he stopped looking at you like a kicked baby animal.

Tony was disappointed, but not to Bucky’s extent. He simply could not fathom the hold Steve had on you still, told you as much. You admitted that you were wrong, and well, with Tony, that was really all he needed. He wanted to be right and he wanted you to tell him that you learned your lesson. To the untrained eye, he would look like a narcissist. But you knew him better, you knew he was just scared of losing you. Again. He merely wanted to know that you were sticking around and that was what you conveyed when you told him you had made a mistake going in the first place. He dropped it, like it never happened.

Natasha didn’t let you out of her sight for almost two complete weeks. She watched you and you felt her watching you, but she wasn’t going to pry. She was angry, but she was still handling you with gloves on. She wasn’t going to push you emotionally no matter how badly she wanted to. She also wasn’t going to ask questions, scared that prying would move you further away. You told her you saw Steve and that you got what you needed, she nodded, and that was the end of it. She still watched you, but she was slyer about it. She made sure you were in your room when she woke up and went to bed, but she took up Tony’s pretending routine as well.

Wanda didn’t need to ask anything; she knew because she read your thoughts. She knew because she had been outraged that you left without a goodbye, so she felt entitled to those thoughts. Not because she needed to know what happened but because she needed to know if you were going to try anything else again. She stopped being mad at you one day when you were making Bruce coffee. You hadn’t heard her, you were there in the kitchen, stuck in your own thoughts. She hugged you tight, didn’t say a word, but just like that, it was over.

Almost everyone had gotten over it in record time. You knew you were an asshole and you apologized, and you meant it, but even if you hadn’t, it wasn’t like they were ever going to hold it against you. Sometimes, knowing that, it made you feel worse because these people loved you and just like Steve had done to you, you hurt them. In the exact same way. You left.

Sam was in a much more difficult position. He felt a duty to you as one of Steve’s closest friends, but he also felt for Bucky. You’d really hurt Bucky and Sam could forgive you for being reckless, psychotic almost, even selfish. But the look on Bucky’s face when they discovered that you were gone was a hard thing to shake.

He stopped ignoring you after a couple of days, but the conversations were short, shallow. He didn’t ask about your time there and he didn’t ask about your feelings after. It was all small talk and polite conversation, it seemed like you barely knew each other at all. But sometimes, you would catch him watching you, like he was looking for signs of something that he couldn’t ask you. He wanted to know if you were still torn up by this Steve thing.

You were. You cried a lot, as if it happened all over again. Technically, in a way, it did. But you didn’t show them that, it was no longer their burden to bear. You had caused them pain when they tried to take yours away. You waited until you were alone or out of the tower, you cried quietly and quickly. You did not allow yourself those days where you would just hole up in your room. You were always awake early, asleep late, and you took care of yourself because you owed them all at least that.

You knew when Bucky was less angry, but you weren’t going to approach him. You were totally fine just waiting for him to let you know when he wanted to speak to you, which was one random morning after you’d finished sparring with Nat.

He was waiting outside the gym, muttered that he wanted to speak to you, and even Natasha had the good sense to get lost. It wasn’t going to be pretty, that much was clear. It was in his tone, his eyes, his tense posture.

He took you back to your room and ordered you to sit on the foot of your bed. He paced for a long time and you didn’t say a word or make a sound. When he finally looked at you, you seriously worried he might kill you. He was angry all over again, had worked himself up with his thoughts but you weren’t sure why entirely.

“Did you see him?”

You nodded.

“You talked to him.”

“About…everything? Um, no, not really.” There hadn’t been that conversation. Any attempts on Steve’s part were expertly diverted by you, with all your ill intentions and knowledge of how to get under Steve’s skin.

He nodded curtly. “So, this was for nothing then? You put me through all of this shit for nothing?”

“Bucky, I’m really so—”

He was storming out of the room before you finished your sentence.

You didn’t see him for two days, and when you did, it was clear again, you would be getting more silence. You told yourself you couldn’t be that hurt. You’d hurt him first, that meant he had the right to express his feelings even if that resulted in him not speaking to you.

Several days later, Bucky dropped his Winter Solider persona and became a worried, bitter mother hen. You were sick, it wasn’t something that you thought was a big deal. He’d come to speak to you again and with his enhanced hearing, heard you puking in the bathroom.

When you were done, he forced you back into bed and got Bruce. Bruce did the usual, it wasn’t as if anyone was worried, he was just too scared not to indulge Bucky. Speaking of, he was off in the corner of the room, claiming that you’d probably gotten some kind of time-traveling bug. He was being dramatic, and you became aware of what exactly had drawn him and Steve together all those years ago. Extra bitches.

“I’m sure she’s fine,” Bruce assured. “Her temperature is fine.”

“Take her blood, test it for time-traveling bugs.”

You rolled your eyes, and because Bruce had heard of the Winter Soldier, he did as was directed. Even though you were pretty sure that Bucky wasn’t serious. Not completely. Once Bruce had the excuse of focusing on your blood, that left you and Bucky alone.

“Why did you even go?”

This was not going to go over well. “Um…I had a plan…”

“A plan,” he repeated. “To do what?”

“I was sort of…kind of, just a little bit, going to kill Peggy.”

His mouth dropped.

You rolled your eyes. “I know that was stupid—”

“You’re insane!”

You glared. “Bucky.”

“You didn’t do it, right?!”

“No,” you huffed. “I should have, would have been putting her out of her misery. He’s such a fucking tool.”

He dragged his hand down his face, holding his jaw as he leaned over in his chair and pressed his elbows to the tops of his thighs. He was silent for a very long time before saying, “Yeah…he is. Did he hurt you?”

The bruises had been painfully obvious, there was no way to hide them, and you knew they could all guess what they came from. You felt your skin getting hot as you shook your head. “No. He wouldn’t do that, Bucky.”

He scoffed. “I thought that…but he did leave you and I never thought he could do that.”

“He’s…not different,” you claimed. “Just…”

“A fucking tool.” He nodded. “I know.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know.”

“No, I’m really sorry, Bucky. I’m not just sorry for leaving and upsetting you. I’m sorry for everything, I’m sorry that you wasted months trying to make me feel better and then I just left. I’m sorry that I took you guys for granted, I’m sorry that I didn’t know how fortunate I was to have people who love me as much as you guys do. I know I betrayed your trust so it’s not going to mean much, but I will never do anything like that again.”

His eyes flit up from the floor to your face. “I do love you. So fucking much. You’re my only connection to him. And you left and I didn’t have that, I didn’t have you and I didn’t have him, and I was just…lost.”

You felt those familiar pricks in the back of your eyes, but you told yourself not to cry, you didn’t have the right. But just as soon as his eyes filled with tears, you couldn’t hold back your own anymore. He practically flung himself off the chair to rush to you, arms wrapping tightly around your shoulders.

You weren’t sure how long you both stayed there, just clinging to each other. This felt like the end of all the tension, though. This felt like a fresh start and you and Bucky were just going to have to move on without Steve. You pondered that for a while. You would have to try to find him a girlfriend or a boyfriend so he wouldn’t try to find you someone. It was going to be a little give and take, probably a major power-struggle every now and then, but it was going to be good.

The only reason you two pulled away was because both a frantic Bruce and Natasha ran into the room. They’d made all the noise two people could possibly make as they did so, crashing into each other because the doorway wasn’t big enough for the both of them.

They were wide-eyed, out of breath, both looking like they had just seen a ghost. But a much different ghost since they both regarded one another with a look of confusion.

“What is it?” Bucky demanded. “Wait, she doesn’t really have a time-traveling bug, does she?”

“Oh!” Bruce scoffed awkwardly, “I’d say so!”

You narrowed your eyes. “What the hell does that mean?”

“That can wait!” Natasha declared.

“No, it certainly cannot!” Bruce insisted.

These were two people who were normally soft-spoken, not because they were meek or soft in any general sense—hello, Black Widow and the Hulk—but in that they didn’t like drawing so much attention to themselves.

As they both started hissing arguments back at each other, Bucky sighed.

You glanced at him and he shrugged at you in response. Things were all better one second, but the very next, the world was ending.

Both Bruce and Natasha turned back to you with resolute looks on their faces. Natasha only spoke loudly this time because she was hoping to yell over Bruce, “Steve is back!” And Bruce yelled in a completely indelicate manner because he was shocked, horrified, extremely concerned, “You’re pregnant!”

Oh, shit.

Natasha and Bruce took a second to process what the other said and then gasped, turning to one another to share a look. They faced you again and decided to repeat the news only, Bruce screamed about Steve being back and Natasha more so framed it as a shrieking question you’re pregnant?!

You glanced at Bucky.

His jaw was set, his eyes narrowed just slightly. He merely nodded once then stood, throwing his hands up in the air. “Well, I’m gonna fucking kill him.”

Yep, the world was most certainly ending.

#steve rogers x reader #why write what you requested when i can just be a moody water sign and write angst?#i don't even remember when i wrote this and i barely edited it honestly bc i'm just kinda over it #i wouldn't have even posted it bc it's been THAT long but i spent time on this so #my writing

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legobiwan · 3 years

Text

Maul, Obi-wan, and Raydonia

I was doing research for an entirely different post and I just...couldn’t leave this scene alone. There’s just too much going on here for me *not* to dip my oar.

So Maul goes to Raydonia and terrorizes the populace in order to send a “message” to Obi-wan at the end of TCW Season 4:

First of all, the panel where Maul says, “face me,” is interesting as Maul is directed away from Obi-wan as Obi-wan looks at Maul’s back, perhaps in facing Maul’s back, he is looking at the past, or, more specifically perhaps not being able to look at his past he cannot face Maul’s holoimage dead-on.

Secondly, this is such an obvious setup. (I know, I know. “Spring the trap.”) But Maul’s hilarious line in Twin Suns really shows us how much he not only knows Obi-wan, but the Jedi at this point (and in Rebels, he contrives this plan because it has worked twice already, on Raydonia and later, Mandalore):

Although this is not the point of this post, you have to laugh. Maul and Obi-wan, to some degree, have been dancing the same tango for over 20 years and the only time there had been a misstep, so to speak, was when Obi-wan left Ahsoka in charge of the second attempt at a Mandalore occupation instead of going himself. But otherwise, geez, no wonder Maul ended up in Obi-wan’s arms at the end of it all, just like a “dip” maneuver at the end of a dance as mentioned above. (They *know* each other’s moves, flit between lead and follow, and if you take this metaphor to its conclusion, then you realize Maul went to Tatooine, sought Obi-wan not because he wanted Luke, but because he wanted closure, knowing what closure would mean in that circumstance.)

But I’m getting off-topic. Maul goads Obi-wan by threatening to burn Raydonia to the ground and Obi-wan, of course, being of “noble heart,” immediately proclaims that he has to go. Alone, of course.

Mace, being the only voice of wisdom in this room, offers a sound strategy:

Obi-wan immediately rejects this perfectly viable option.

This justification is bullshit. Obi-wan is known for being a master tactician and yet he’s refusing Mace’s offer of backup? First of all, between the two of them alone, I’m certain they could have come up with a decent plan. Secondly, Obi-wan had to know that Maul wasn’t going to keep his word. Raydonia was going to burn, regardless of whether Obi-wan came alone or not.

And, in fact, here is Exhibit A of Raydonia burning:

Even if he isn’t fully aware of this, I posit that Obi-wan rejects Mace’s offer not because he wants to save Raydonia on the premise of a very false promise (if he were truly concerned about Raydonia, he would have taken the task force), but because, as the title of this episode suggests - he wants revenge.

And I doubt Obi-wan even admits this to himself, using his “noble-heart” to justify going to Raydonia alone to face a massive threat to both the Republic and Jedi in the middle of a war headed by the Sith.

By every logical, tactical measurement, Obi-wan should have taken backup. And he outright refuses it because of a personal vendetta. I have more to say about this in another post, but his actions here seem to be part of this cycle of “fall” and “absolution” that Obi-wan goes through in TCW, each “fall” going lower, each act of contrition more extreme. (And it plays into a theory I have that if the war had continued, if events had been just a little different - Obi-wan would have fallen and Dooku would have eventually gotten his most prized pupil.) It also says a lot that in the mirrored situation during the “Siege of Mandalore” arc, Ahsoka is only able to capture Maul because she brought the backup. Or, more precisely put, because Obi-wan authorized the (illegal) backup of he 501st.

Mace, however, isn’t swayed by Obi-wan’s pretty terrible argument. (And for pretty damn good reason.)

But here is where it gets truly bizarre.

What the hell, Yoda? I was trying to figure out the thought process that would lead to Yoda authorizing this. Clearly, it’s not stemming from any military advantage or even thought towards the people of Raydonia. They’re already burnt to the ground, both in Maul’s mind and the Council’s mind (despite Obi-wan’s thin rationalizations).

So then why? If I start with the really wild speculation, I suppose I could say that Yoda had someone form of...Force premonition that Obi-wan going alone to Raydonia would lead to an intervention by Ventress (who Yoda did sense was kicking and ambivalent about her role in the war) which would lead to Ahsoka’s trial and eventual acquittal which would lead to Maul being captured on Mandalore which would lead to the Duel on Malachor which would lead to Luke finding Grogu -

Yeah, you know what?

NO way that’s true. Not even Palpatine could see that far into the future so I can BS on that idea.

So why send Kenobi alone?

I think this harkens to what we see later during the “Wrong Jedi” arc.

If Ahsoka’s trial was her great test, then Maul’s reappearance was Obi-wan’s. Both Mace and Yoda have to know that Obi-wan was teetering on the Dark Side when he beat Maul all those years ago (in fact, the TPM novelization basically states Obi-wan harnesses some Dark Side to beat Maul in his rage.) Mace wants to bring backup, for very practical reasons but also probably keep tabs on an Obi-wan who was at severe risk of becoming unbalanced.

Yoda, on the other hand, sends Obi-wan alone to face his past, to face his darkness and overcome it (in the middle of a war with the Sith where the balance of power could have shifted significantly if Maul and Dooku and Sidious were able to coexist in the same room without the threat of first-degree murder).

And here’s the thing. Both Obi-wan and Ahsoka FAIL this test. Ahsoka walks away from the Jedi, Obi-wan gets the snot pounded out of him, taps into his rage (this is not a man in control of himself),

...and then lets a war criminal go free in exchange for her help, all of which set up the disaster that Mandalore becomes in later seasons. In fact, Obi-wan doesn’t pass this supposed test until over 20 years later, on Tatooine. And...is it worth everything that occurred between this episode and “Twin Suns”? Could Yoda have foreseen all of this? Highly unlikely. It’s nice poetry, but at what cost?

Which leads to another interesting observation - if Yoda feels this is Obi-wan’s test, then both he and Mace feel Obi-wan is more than capable of flirting with the Dark Side. (Yes, all Jedi are, of course, but this seems rather pointed for a man who is considered the pinnacle of Jedi-ness). Again, I have another long post gestating about this topic, but I doubt Mace and Yoda didn’t notice some signs of Obi-wan’s slow fall and attempts at absolution (it’s almost like the habits of an addict - fall, swear off the sauce, and than fall again, even lower) throughout TCW, but between the pressures of the war and trust in Obi-wan, they didn’t see it as a huge threat.

So after Obi-wan leaves for his Revenge Tour, Mace explains, rather diplomatically, that he thinks Yoda’s idea is hot garbage and that his (Maul’s) -

Yes, and Obi-wan at least does learn from this, as stated above...eventually.

Oh, Yoda. This is where I feel the Coucil lost their way. Again, Dooku’s famous quote about Yoda and the Council from the Clone Wars novelization:

"The Jedi Order's problem is Yoda. No being can wield that kind of power for centuries without becoming complacent at best or corrupt at worst. He has no idea that it's overtaken him; he no longer sees all the little cumulative evils that the Republic tolerates and fosters, from slavery to endless wars, and he never asks, 'Why are we not acting to stop this?' Live alongside corruption for too long, and you no longer notice the stench."

It could be argued that Yoda is placing this “test” of Obi-wan above the people of Raydonia, hell, the entire Republic, in priority. Raydonia is collateral damage, and if Obi-wan fails his test, so are many planets in the Republic (which is *exactly* what played out). I suppose, in the very end - again, 20 years later on Tatooine - this was resolved and Luke Skywalker was saved to eventually help redeem his father and destroy Palpatine but...that only really makes sense in hindsight and overlooks the bad decisions the Council and specifically Yoda, are making in real-time.

And Mace is not convinced here. Too many things could go wrong. Maul could escape. Obi-wan could be killed. Obi-wan could possibly turn, or at least “darken,” so to speak.

“Trust in the Force,” Mace might say, “but all others pay in credits.”

#hello there #long post #obi wan kenobi #darth maul #mace windu #yoda #raydonia #meta #well i dont know where *that* little analysis came from but #hey it's my weekend right now so enjoy the fruits of my spare time #and yes i will write that obi wan falling post at some point

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its-sixxers · 3 years

Text

Swan Song

Ulfric Stormcloak is dead. The civil war is halted - for now. Alduin awaits. Idunn and Tandreth are all too aware of the fate of heroes.

(borderline wip but a snippet in apology for my absence <3)

Despite centuries living, Tandreth had at last discovered something he’d never witnessed before.

What it felt like to be a hero.

Amidst the ruin Whiterun rose from the ashes like a phoenix to celebrate - the dead were buried, injuries nursed, grudges put to bed. Tandreth still felt the sting of where the Ulfric’s blade had bit into his ribs, but the mead of Jarl Balgruuf had quelled his pain. Throughout the night toasts had been made even when the scent of burned flesh still lingered even in Dragonsreach - the Companions often the source of uproarious laughter, the local bard testing out a few new verses in his attempt to give the event justice.

Tandreth had been fawned over, and if it were only a few years ago he’d have been happy to take to bed a train of admirers. As he sat at the feast table, however, he was only all too aware that his fame was based solely on his proximity to others - and for the first time, he was content in that knowledge.

Azuraansi sat near the Jarl himself, nursing her single goblet of wine and leaning in conspiratorially between Balgruuf and Irileth, discussing matters he couldn’t imagine. Whatever they were, it brought a smile to her usually icy features - though colored with a hearty dose of exhaustion. Tandreth smiled in turn to see his twin sister flattered and content, to be recognized for her ability and to, for once, not have her victory turn to ashes in her hands.

Most of his attention was diverted to the guest of honor, however.

Idunn - Dragonborn, who’d come to Whiterun’s aid on a dragon with he and his sister in tow, who’d engaged Ulfric Stormcloak in single combat, whose Shouts had caused lighting to crack across the sky and who sang with every sweep of her warhammer. She’d been like Ysgramor himself, like Talos, like any other figure of legend - auburn hair blazing, so young, and yet she could not mirror the smiles and cheers offered her. Instead she let Raansi engage with the Jarl and the excited elite of Whiterun, preferring to stare into her goblet of mead.

Ulfric Stormcloak was dead. It was cause for celebration for many - it should have been cause for celebration for her.

Yet despite the man’s many sins, Idunn was no executioner.

By the time Tandreth finally managed to gain an opportunity to politely excuse himself from the feast table, she was absent. Unmissed - Talos was charismatic, Ysgramor larger than life. Idunn always seemed to try her best to fade into the background, to bore any who tried to engage with her.

Slipping into the shadows was second nature, and all the easier with most of the Great Hall too inebriated to perceive anything but their own joy. Tandreth slipped away from the celebratory feast and into Dragonsreach’s state quarters, all revelry muffled by the thick oak doors closing behind him.

Moonlight trickled in through the windows of the back hall high above. The place was unguarded - whether those assigned to their posts were dead or excused was beyond Tandreth’s knowledge, but the thought of the keep’s inhabitants unguarded as they slept unsettled him. Quickly he made haste to the quarters that had been granted to Idunn - those that used to belong to the Jarl’s wife, at the pinnacle of Dragonsreach’s many steps. His own were at a lower level, and were it not for Irileth’s own status he’d wonder if it was a slight.

The carved door to Idunn’s chambers was unlocked, not that it’d be a concern for him if it wasn’t - and quietly he cracked it open to peer inside.

Idunn wasn’t in her bed. He knew it the moment the sound of snoring didn’t meet his ears, and quietly he slipped inside. The curtains shifted from an incoming draft, and he knew where to go.

Beyond the solar was the bedroom, whose north wall possessed a great stone arch framed by woven linen curtains that led to a stone balcony beyond. Multicolored lights spilled through the windows onto the four poster bed.

A familiar figure stood on the balcony, backlit by the aurora.

Whiterun’s tundra stretched for miles below, the night sky above splashed with the watercolor of numerous shifting lights. Idunn leaned against the banister wearing nothing but a man’s undershirt, hem laying across the middle of her powerful thighs. Tandreth could see numerous bruises blooming upon her pale skin, as varied in color as the night sky above.

“It’s your night, you know. You should enjoy it.” Tandreth said gently, announcing his presence. Idunn only turned her head a fraction to acknowledge him, her cheeks shining with what he knew were shed tears. Slowly he approached, coming to her side by the banister.

“There’s nothing to celebrate.” she answered, voice thin. Yes, she’d been crying. “The Plains District is ashes. Good people are dead.”

“Yes.” Tandreth agreed, watching her white-knuckle grip on the banister. “But more would have perished if it wasn’t for you. The day’s won. Now’s for drinking, to forget the bloodshed, to relish being alive.”

Idunn dropped her gaze to him, looking more afraid than he’d ever seen her. It made something in his chest clench to see it - the whites of her eyes in the dark. “For how long?”

He offered his best smile in an effort to reassure her. “For eternity, if we’re lucky. Maybe Nine will become Ten. Say hello to Dibella for me if that’s the case, she’s always sounded like a fun time.”

The effort fell flat, for Idunn made a choked noise in her throat and looked back to the tundra below - to the embers that yet burned, further evidence of battle hidden by the dark. “There’s only one thing left, now.”

Alduin. A fear marked by the panic in her face whenever a shadow crossed the sky. A god. How could anyone kill a god?

Unbidden Tandreth’s hand settled upon her own, his dark skin a stark contrast to hers. The action stilled her ragged breathing, granting him some relief. “You’ve succeeded in everything. You can do this. I’m with you, for what little it helps. I believe in you.” The expected words. The words he was supposed to say.

Again she shook her head. “That’s not what I’m worried about.” she whispered. “It’s what happens after.”

“After?” Tandreth looked up at her quizzically, his traitorous hand gently stroking her knuckles with his thumb. “Whatever you want. No one can stop you. I’m certain the Empire will give you enough coin to buy anything you please for Ulfric’s head-”

“No.” Idunn said emphatically, suddenly pulling her hand away from his. Tandreth’s palm burned from the absence. “All of the stories. All the heroes die. Ulfric was a hero, to the Stormcloaks. They never… They never…”

“Happily ever afters are boring.” Tandreth replied, anxiety building in his chest from this line of conversation. Ulfric’s death had rattled her, and he knew it was for more reasons than the man’s status as hero. This battle was beyond him, something scum like him had no hope of fighting. “And those are just stories, Idunn, they aren’t-”

“You said so yourself.” she interrupted. “Heroes don’t get happy endings. It’s a lie.”

It caused his cheeks to flush, bile to rise in his throat. Yes, he’d told her as much - told her in as few words as he could manage what happened to his mother, the Nerevarine. How he and his sister had as good as grown up on their own, never to have closure until he saw his mother’s ghost. How the last Dragonborn emperor had martyred himself, how the hero who’d brought him to the Imperial City scorned all glory and disappeared from history soon after. How all of Idunn’s efforts to do right were fruitless, how none would appreciate her and her name would disappear after she died trying to protect people who didn’t care for her - and now Tandreth saw the effects of his poisonous words. Self hatred flooded his system. Vile, venomous coward, who’d tried to drag her down with him.

“Idunn.” he whispered, and she winced at the sound of her own name from his lips. “I was saying whatever I could to dissuade you, then. It was cruel.”

“Was it false?” she questioned, words piercing something else in his chest. She looked him in the eye, her own, wide and green and so guileless, beseeching him for the truth.

Tandreth’s shoulders fell, staring up at her - at the aurora reflected in her eyes, unable to bring light to them. Honesty burned his tongue, but he offered it nonetheless. “No.”

Idunn took a deep breath and turned away from him. “I always knew it.” she murmured. “At the heart of it, all along. I’m going to succeed. Destiny, fate, the Divines - they’ll carry me that far. But after…” He watched her throat ripple as she swallowed. “... I’m not coming back from this.”

“You can’t know that.”

“I feel it.” Idunn shook her head. “In my bones. My heart. The air. It makes sense. This was my purpose, all along. I have no -” A pause and another wince, as she dared a glance back at him. Correcting herself, to a flutter in his lungs. “ - few friends. No family. I was destined to die before fate called on me. It was just a stay of execution. This is my purpose, what I’ve been chosen for, what I’ve been born for. There’s nothing after.”

A cold feeling pooled in his gut, and Tandreth felt the overwhelming urge to run at her words. To save himself. Idunn was convinced, and it was enough to convince him in turn. In his travels with her he’d seen things he’d never believe, proof of divinity, every odd defied. It was only a matter of time before her luck ran out. He’d seen it all happen before.

Yet beneath the cold an ember burned, fanned into a flame. No. He’d seen it before, but he wouldn’t let it happen again. He’d tried to persuade her out of destiny, thrashed and raged against it. He’d tried to run from it already. The conclusion he’d come to was one constant as the rising sun.

Whatever would come, he couldn’t leave her. Even if he had to watch her die.

No.

Could he change fate? Change a certain path?

Of course not. He was a child, tantruming against the inevitable. Instinctively wanting to smash what he could before running away, furious at his own powerlessness.

Yet if there was one thing he could change - one thing in his blighted life he could do again, it was to say something. He’d left his mother with bitter words.

Idunn stared out at the tundra in silence. Could he leave her with the same?

Tandreth’s tongue suddenly felt thick, a wave of heat flowing over his body as if a fever. Nausea twisted his stomach. Suddenly all words failed him - he’d never had trouble with them before, always had a quick remark, but now this was important, now this was perhaps the last calm they’d ever have.

“Maybe.” he admitted, forcing himself to face the truth of it all. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe these are the last weeks.” His body was betraying him, vision clouding with blasted tears, his voice wavering. He could still run - Azura, how he longed to - but Tandreth clutched the stone banister as if it could keep him from being ripped away from it. He’d lived centuries, but a couple dozen months had given him a light he’d long thought lost and the idea that it was going to be snuffed out again was too much to comprehend.

Idunn managed to look at him again, pain diffused with confusion on her part. She wasn’t used to seeing him like this, he was well aware - knew that the little wrinkle between her brow was one of concern. Knew everything, and tried not to think of how every scrap of knowledge of her might come to haunt him. “You don’t have to stay.” Her voice was tender as a kiss. “It’ll be safer.”

It was his turn to make a choked noise, and he tore his hands from the banister to settle on her biceps, so firm beneath his touch he nearly took comfort in it. Tandreth forced her to face him, to look him in the face. “No. Listen to me, Idunn. I’ve spent my life running. From everything. From living. Were this a few years ago I’d be happy to throw myself into the void alongside you - but I’ve met you now. In you I’ve seen that maybe this cursed plane is worth something after all, that I could be worth something. I want to live. I want to see what the future holds.” In spite of himself, he let his hands drift down her bicep, stroking her skin - took a step forward. “With you. Whatever time you have left. You don’t have to do this alone.”

Her lips fell open, and he almost cried at how it took her a few moments to process it all - dear, sweet, simple Idunn - and he knew she had when she couldn’t keep the water from spilling from her eyes, collecting on her lower lashes like dew. “But you - you hate it. Hate this.”

Tandreth laughed bitterly. “Yes. I hate fate, I hate the work of Divines and Daedra. I hate to be helpless. But not you. Not…” His right hand moved up to her shoulder, giving it a squeeze. “Not this. Never this.”

Uncertainty now overrode all of Idunn’s fear, calming the maelstrom in his own mind. “I won’t let you die on my account.”

“You’re not listening. I want to live.” Tandreth repeated. “And if… if you’re right, I’m going to try my damndest to make sure meeting you meant something. To make sure the world doesn’t forget. Not just the hero, but the woman.”

“The woman isn’t anything.” Idunn said with a watery smile. “You’ll bore them all to pieces.”

“I’ll fight Akatosh himself if I can keep the woman on this world with me for one moment longer.” Tandreth nearly shook her, desperate for her to understand him, choking on the words he needed to say, before the end, before she was another one of his ghosts.

The fear in her returned, but it was a different fear - one he knew in himself. The caution, the hesitance, the disbelief - she was worried she’d misheard him, that she’d read too much into things. She started to pull away from him - she’d decided what he was trying to tell her was all in her head, and in response he pulled her closer.

“I love you.” he whispered - feeling as if he’d doomed them both.

#fanfic #wip sorta #oc: tandreth #oc: idunn / dragonborn #lil inebriated writing this woooops #classic tandreth: waiting til the last minute to do anything important (:

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puttingfingerstokeys · 3 years

Text

what the thunder said

There’s a first time for everything and even for a god, certain firsts can be... difficult to process. Raiden works through potentially relatable misgivings and The Sorcerer(tm) is surprisingly helpful. Takes place just after the first tournament’s conclusion. Ft. warring exes. As usual it’s barely edited. I’m just cramming ideas out there

restored timeline

The sun rose, red and angry, over what might have been the eastern sky. The island was a strange nexus of realms, however, so it was anyone’s guess, truly, what direction the sorcerer’s bedchambers were facing. The man in question sat up, extracting himself gently from the still-occupied bed, sliding his bare feet into ornate slippers and wrapping a dressing gown—silk with damascened patterns of golden dragons ablaze—carelessly about shapely shoulders. In the distance, rumblings of thunder were making themselves known in subtle growls, as if spoken sotto voce. The wind picked up minutely and tossed the hem of his gown and hair around with playful abandon. He spared a glance over his shoulder to the curvaceous form in his bed, covered by a sheet and breathing softly.

“What wonders do you have for me today, fulminator?” His voice was low, barely above a gentle purr. It was filled with odd softness—this would have been especially strange for anyone who had known him from previous iterations—and fond warmth. Shang Tsung felt his heartbeat pick up its pace as Raiden stirred, curling tighter upon himself, and then stilled once more. The sorcerer had not been certain gods could sleep, but given the activities of the previous night, he supposed there was a first time for everything.

Drawing away from the open balcony, he retreated to an alcove where breakfast would be served at his command. The bed itself was upon a dais in the center of the room, of course, so no servants would be permitted entry until his celestial lover awoke and dressed to his own level of comfort. Raiden was guarded of his chastity and the appearance thereof, and had been since he and Shang Tsung had first become acquainted.

Something, the sorcerer was convinced, in his tournament victory, had changed the very air between them. Though he had long sought after the deity—he knew damn well Raiden was a god, or had been at some point; he was merely waiting for his mentor to admit this, as he awaited all the colossal man’s concessions—emotionally and physically, always, he had been gracefully rebuffed.

Until the previous night.

Shang Tsung reflected on this most delicate of trysts, remembering with fondness how he had handled it—the situation and his mentor—with the gentle touch of one holding something very fragile which might break apart at any moment. He had understood, intimately, that the thing he held was Raiden’s core, that depthless thing which was supposed to have felt little, he being so far above mortals, but which fluttered like a trapped songbird.

The sorcerer’s roving eyes followed the curves of the deity’s body under his fine sheets. He knew those curves so well, as well as if he had been mapping them all the years they had known each other with his hands, instead of just his eyes. Oh, but those eyes were practiced and sharp. They had seen every movement of his mentor’s finely-sculpted body, every subtle twitch and shift of muscle—of what might have been muscle. Aside from the relatively external views and activities, he really did not know what made a god tick. He had no intention, of course, of vivisecting the being he loved above all else, either, so some things would just have to remain secret.

But, OH, the secrets Raiden had given unto him last night! To relive those, even in memories was sweet. It held the dangerous headiness of a fine wine or ambrosia, threatening to overtake his senses, to drown him in the pleasure of the recollection alone. He drank deeply of the sight and only ceased when he heard the “emissary” sigh. He could not immediately detect if it was one of contentment or of consternation—as they so often were—until he heard the distant rumble of the approaching maelstrom.

There had been quite a squall the night before, but that had seemed to grow from nowhere, right over the palace, and was fairly localized, all things considered. This one loomed on the horizon, roiling and rumbling, threatening with a menace the sorcerer misliked. “What troubles you, pet?”

This new moniker, pet, which he had bestowed upon the god of thunder—there was no longer any doubt in his mind what Raiden was—had appeared over the course of a few hours the previous evening. Raiden had not seemed to mind it as Shang Tsung crooned it into his ear, hands wandering, lips pressed close to the warm, electric flesh.

“I am untroubled,” came the quiet response. Raiden was still curled tightly upon himself, a position Shang Tsung did not like one bit. It spoke of closure, of the barring of ways, of hesitancy and refusal, or negation. He would not be refused in that way—other ways, certainly, without so much as a word, but this… he would have openness in his own bedchamber. Acquired for you by the one you so ardently desire, do not forget, the sorcerer scolded himself. The flare of his minute, potential temper died and his voice softened.

“I would hear of this lack of trouble,” he insisted. As if punctuating his point, lightning flashed in the far distance and thunder roared to make its intentions known. It was still a long way off, but it was loud. Shang Tsung could almost see the waterspouts forming underneath it—or perhaps one great spout. What power he commands, his lusty mind whispered with predatory passion. I must have him—I must endeavor to keep him. I cannot… exist without him. He stowed this thought too, for the idea that his own existence hinged in any way on another being, divine or not, was abhorrent to his very nature.

Raiden turned over, facing the sorcerer, sheets drawn almost to his chin. He looked… timid. The sight turned Shang Tsung’s guts to ice, but his face betrayed nothing. Had he harmed the deity in some way, or ignored some silent plea Raiden could not voice due to his own hesitance in the face of such pure, unadulterated desire? Shang Tsung had endeavored to keep himself in check, to remain soft, not hesitant, but certainly making all intentions and purposes clear throughout their time together. His desire to devour Raiden had not abated. Rather, he reminded himself of the old maxim, “pleasure delayed is pleasure doubled”. And so he had delayed—and it had more than doubled.

Or so he had assumed.

Now, he doubted himself. The idea that he had in any way upset or even—heaven forbid—frightened Raiden was sickening to him, an aberration of something which should have been the best moments, the softest, warmest, most cherished memories, or at least to number among them. The sorcerer swallowed minutely and moved toward the bed, presently settling himself upon it, robe falling carelessly open, for what did he have to hide? And from whom?

Thunder rumbled once more, gaining speed and losing distance. It would soon be upon the island. The people living in the village below the palace—all his staff, of course, and acolytes, training to defend the island—were surely pulling in their nets, securing their boats, and barring their windows once more. They were a hardy lot, from many realms, and the sorcerer was grateful for their presence, but even he, with all his wealth and influence, might have a difficult time retaining staff if they were swept away in unseasonably nasty storms. He did not blame Raiden, for the deity himself looked baffled, even unaware, that he was doing this.

“What troubles you?” Shang Tsung repeated the question, but this time reached out to grasp one of the hands which held the blanket. It was large, but strangely delicate in form. These were not the hands of a bruiser, though Raiden’s strikes were like the thunder he commanded, deafening and numbing. Lightning arced between them and snapped the sorcerer’s fingers, for which those nigh-inscrutable glowing eyes appeared apologetic.

Rather than speak his worries, Raiden released the sheet with one hand and grasped Shang Tsung’s as the sorcerer grasped him.

Shang Tsung pulled at that hand, urging Raiden to sit up, to face him properly. He wanted to speak. Reluctantly, the god of thunder shifted, keeping the sheets close with his free hand, and finally sat up, propping himself against the luxuriant pile of pillows on the sorcerer’s fine bed. He found himself wondering, much against his will, if Shang Tsung had not insisted upon such a large bed for this very purpose. While the master of this strange island was not diminutive by any means, Raiden was, by comparison, uncommonly colossal. He had room, on this bed, to stretch out with space to spare. The idea darkened a corner of his mind and the storm growled.

Still holding that hand, now in both of his, Shang Tsung moved himself closer as static arced its way from Raiden’s body to his hands and arms. He paid this no mind whatsoever, meeting Raiden’s eyes steadily with his own dark, fathomless ones. Raiden saw in those eyes that ancient greed from timelines long gone, that bottomless emptiness, yearning voraciously to be filled, yet never able. No, he thought, I do not see that at all, but echoes of it. Upon closer inspection, he found that indeed, he had been mistaken. The darkness he saw was only Shang Tsung’s insatiable appetite for… him.

“Do you recall when I said I would have all of you, dear Raiden?” This was an old title of affection he had coined long ago, perhaps a decade or more. Slowly, Raiden nodded, recalling not only the phrase but the circumstances under which it had been uttered. He swallowed hard, eyes falling from Shang Tsung’s. It was only the sorcerer’s hand under his chin, releasing its grip upon his own hand momentarily which compelled his gaze to return where it had been. The grasp was not harsh, but it was firm and he saw something in Shang Tsung’s face that spoke of chiding discipline, which awoke in Raiden an ire he had forgotten he could possess. But whence is this directed?

“I do,” said the elemental, straightening and thereby removing his chin from the sorcerer’s grip. Shang Tsung regarded him with voracious fondness. It was not a predatory look, not quite, but it could easily have become that. The hunger was always lurking. To that end, rather than returning his hand to the one he still held, he reached out and sought gently to prize the grip of the sheet from Raiden’s other hand. It was like moving a statue and force would not do. Nor, he thought, would frustration. In all things, the soul sorcerer reminded himself, patience. I have been the student—now I am the teacher to an ageless being.

“I did not simply mean your body, fine a gift as it is to have been bestowed upon me, and grateful as I am for that… for you.” He did not continue to attempt the physical compulsion of the hand which so rigidly attempted to guard the rags of the deity’s chastity. Rather, he reached out and slid his hand dexterously around the back of Raiden’s neck, pulling him forward and pressing their foreheads together. “I want your mind, fulminator—I want your heart, o’ commander of lightning and the storm… I want every bit of you that you are willing to give. I want it all.”

“I know,” admitted Raiden quietly, eyes closing. He knew all too well what Shang Tsung wanted, what he wanted, for that matter. Coming to terms with that desire had been an enormous obstacle for Raiden who, had he been in a less distracted state of mind, might have wondered after the grandiose forms of address Shang Tsung had just heaped upon him. But he was not. He was still facing up to his own trepidations and fears regarding such desire and affection and what it meant for him and for the sorcerer. The process was not a rapid one by any means.

“Do you truly know?” Shang Tsung’s voice was low, almost inquisitive. Their lips were inches apart, but still he spoke, initiating nothing more than close conversation. “Or are you still learning, my dear, exquisite one?” These words were spoken with not so much as a hint of malice. Shang Tsung was hoping to prompt a response with it, one of open honesty. This, among many other things, was something he deeply desired from his friend and mentor.

Raiden’s shoulders sagged helplessly and he pulled away, sighing through his nose; he did not drop the sheet and the storm in the distance, while suddenly holding its position, had begun to rumble and flash more fiercely than ever. He looked over Shang Tsung’s shoulder and, noting it for the first time, colored gently, a golden sheen staining his cheeks in the place of the red of mortal blood. Shang Tsung’s hand moved from the nape of Raiden’s neck and that fine, silken white hair, to the side of his face, thumb oscillating back and forth in a soft rhythm and gesture of fond placation.

“Yes,” Raiden finally said, speaking barely above a whisper. “I am… still learning.” We must all learn, our whole lives, even if those lives last eons upon eons. We must always learn.

“And what would you have me teach you?” Once more, the sorcerer’s words were free of any sort of mockery or teasing or jest. He was, in a word, sincere. Catching Raiden’s gaze, he held it and held him. There was such tenderness in that touch, such devotion upon his face, that Raiden felt suddenly very foolish for his hesitance. Shang Tsung’s other hand soon joined the one upon Raiden’s face and he held him there, softly, appreciating the strange glow of those eyes.

A vision of the blue-white becoming a sickly, enraged red entered the sorcerer’s mind and he flinched imperceptibly, attributing the picture to the ferocity of the approaching storm and the potential of his celestial lover. The image portrayed a being of unthinking fury, of total and complete chaos, without restraint or the desire for it and it scared the sorcerer.

It also thrilled him.

Raiden saw this, too. He saw much, and always had. It is not something you should covet, sorcerer, he chided mentally. Rather than speaking the words, however, he closed his eyes and shook his head, hands rising to cover Shang Tsung’s on either side of his face. The admission of his ignorance was so quiet, it might have been the whisper of rain upon distant rooftops. “I do not know.”

Before Shang Tsung could respond, Raiden’s fingers tightened around his and pushed them away. He, bare to the waist—past that only covered by a sheet—leaned away and then turned, seemingly intent upon standing. He sought his white robe, that soft, diaphanous thing, embroidered with gold, trimmed in blue, and of the finest material he had ever felt. Fist closing upon it, Raiden lifted the garment and draped it about his broad shoulders, which tightened at the feeling of the sorcerer’s eyes upon him. Shang Tsung reached out then and laid his fingers upon the mark of Raiden’s divinity which glowed a soft blue beyond the sheer fabric of the robe. Raiden stiffened.

“Please,” he whispered, “allow me… time. That is all I ask.”

“Time you shall have, pet,” promised the sorcerer, “but call off your typhoon, I beg; the village will not fare well if it grows any larger.”

Raiden stood then, back to Shang Tsung, as if suddenly aware of his own exposure. The glowing marks all over his body were dim in the light of the red morning sun, but they were becoming slowly brighter as the darkness of the oncoming storm approached and covered the celestial body—well, one of them. The sorcerer only had eyes for the celestial body in his bedroom, and what its closed posture meant. He was torn between insisting upon a discussion, knowing Raiden’s strange mood had something (perhaps everything) to do with the previous evening and allowing his frankly exquisite lover work through whatever it was which troubled him on his own. The not knowing, the lack of a solution, ate away at Shang Tsung, but his calculating, better judgment won out and he remained silent, withdrawing from the bed and moving toward the small table set for a breakfast as yet unserved.

Without a word, the deity withdrew to the sorcerer’s expansive closet, yet another cave feature carved directly into the mountainside, but polished smooth and bearing little resemblance to the rough-hewn rock it might once have been. The monks, he recalled, had built a crude sanctuary up this far, at least, and that had been an alcove for worship. Now it was for a different, more material sort of homage. The sorcerer did not follow Raiden, instead turning upon his chair to watch the storm. It stayed where it was, hovering ominously in the distance, devouring the sunrise and rumbling threateningly. He scoffed as best he could, but there was real fear lurking deep in his hindbrain and his heart, not for the storm itself, perhaps, but what it represented. Once more, he found himself going over the events of the evening, combing through each explicit detail exhaustively, seeking any clue he had violated some unseen barrier and that the deity had consequently given some clue which he might have, in the throes of his passion, ignored.

“It is not of your doing, Tsung,” Raiden’s voice appeared suddenly, as if from nowhere, but in truth, the colossal man was standing just behind Shang Tsung, fully clothed, wrapped in his customary habit, save that his hair was still free. This was one concession he had become comfortable making, even around the servants. Shang Tsung’s eyes ran over the beautiful cut of the cloth, the way it hugged Raiden’s figure, but in a utilitarian way, despite how ornate the damascened designs upon the cloth may have been. To say nothing of his need to cover himself, he at least has elegant taste. A vision of Raiden in plain, loose-fitting, gray and white robes flashed in his mind and he shuddered internally.

“The storm? Of course not, fulminator,” purred the sorcerer in a tone which was, for the first time that morning, teasing. “It is not within my power to affect the weather… not like that, at least. Not yet.”

This earned him a small, if strained, smile and Raiden’s presence at his table. For a moment, they were both watching the storm with similar expressions of wonder and awe. Without a sound, Raiden’s hand moved slowly across the table to place itself atop where Shang Tsung’s was laying, bare, jewel-less, but no less beautiful for all that. Finely manicured nails, trimmed to perfection, were soon covered by the so-called emissary’s larger hand as he wrapped his fingers around those of the sorcerer and squeezed. Only at the pressure did Shang Tsung’s gaze turn from the distant storm and back to his lover. Oh, how he cherished that word and all its meanings. If only he could understand the meaning behind Raiden’s hesitance. How could he have known that it was the very concept of his status as someone’s “lover” which had given the celestial being pause.

“I owe you an explanation, Tsung… perhaps many.”

“You owe me nothing,” the sorcerer interjected.

“Be that as it may, I am offering you… my openness and truth; I would bare my soul as I… bared my body.” Surprisingly, Raiden’s eyes did not fall, though once more his cheeks colored with a sweet dusting of gold. Shang Tsung had the sudden desire—perhaps it was not so sudden—to lay his lips tenderly upon that flesh, to see that color spread. Once more, he held back his desirous mind and heart and settled to listening instead. “You have had my flesh, now I… offer my mind.”

Shang Tsung shifted. The storm rumbled in the distance, but it seemed to be losing its intensity and vehemence, content merely to threaten, never to move. Lightning flashed almost gently across and between the dark clouds, but the sorcerer saw none of this. His back was facing the superficial storm and his eyes were fixed upon the real one. Shang Tsung’s thumb ran familiar, oscillating patterns over Raiden’s knuckles as he began to speak.

“I have lived… long… and seen much,” said Raiden, as if Shang Tsung did not already know this upon laying eyes on him the first time. Still, the sorcerer waited patiently, his sharp mind closing like a trap over each word and considering each with great care. “But there are admittedly many things I have not permitted myself to… experience.” Without going into any detail which might alert Shang Tsung that he was more than an ascendant humanoid, or some creation of the fire god Liu Kang, Raiden spoke, choosing each word carefully as a jeweler selects gems for a piece of great value.

“I am changed, I think, because of this and it… frightens me,” Raiden explained further. Nodding toward the distant hurricane, he continued. “I am not accustomed to this kind of misgiving—it is loathsome to me… I am loathsome to me because of it.”

“Because of what I have… done?” The hesitance in Shang Tsung’s voice alarmed Raiden and his eyes widened almost imperceptibly. “I have asked too much of you too quickly, dear one.”

“No,” said Raiden, shaking his head. “You asked for and gave nothing which I did not desire to give or to receive. Our exchange was an honest one.” Perhaps more honest than I have been with him since we encountered each other this final time. “Our desire was—is … mutual.”

Shang Tsung studied his mentor a while in silence. The wind from the ocean had fallen completely still, as if the oncoming storm had torn it all away, leaving the bare bones of absolute reality, a frightening vista indeed. The sorcerer pursed his lips, considering many things once more, and then nothing at all, save the man before him. “I believe I know what I have to offer you—what I could teach you, o’ resplendent thunderbolt.”

Raiden’s thick, dark eyebrows rose questioningly. If he was honest with himself—a dangerous prospect, even for a god—he was very fond of the various monikers assigned to him by his sorcerous companion. This one was new, but just as creative as his others. He had but one, the man’s given name. It seemed like little, until he used it and the sorcerer’s pupils dilated and gooseflesh rose upon his skin. “I have no doubt you offer much, Tsung. Am I to understand that you have come to a conclusion…?”

“I have indeed,” confirmed Shang Tsung, the impish smile quickly being replaced by a grave look. “There is much and more you know about me, and about this world—it almost seems as if you have been here before, but that is neither here nor there, as they say.” His mirth at Raiden’s minute and well-disguised alarm was difficult to mask.

“You lack knowledge of yourself—not of your nature; you know much about that, I do not doubt, but about what that nature means… You know what you need, and of the needs of others you are… irritatingly well-versed, almost to a fault. But you do not know what you want, what you desire… and when you find that, you cannot seem to allow yourself to grasp it, because you fear your own desire to be desired.

“Is that not so?”

The look upon Raiden’s face told Shang Tsung all he needed to know about the truth of his statement, and more than that, about how he had never once considered this, in all his eons of life—eons upon eons, if the sorcerer’s private theories were correct. The revelation seemed momentarily to break him and, thus, the storm. The light flooded Shang Tsung’s bedchamber, golden and stunning, catching in the diamond tears falling down Raiden’s shapely cheeks and clattering, solid bits of mithril, onto the table between them. They caught the streaming sunlight and threw beautiful flecks of rainbow around the opulent room as the sorcerer leaned across that table and pressed their lips together, softly, but with deliberate force.

“You fear that I have… taken you and that it somehow diminishes your radiance,” Shang Tsung said, pulling back, “but I assure you, nothing diminishes you without your consent… And it is not just I who have had you, pet.” The sorcerer stopped a moment, measuring his words as he had always done. He had come this far, however. Why stop now? “You also have had me, and you will have me… for eternity.”

#cc #cw #warring exes #mortal kombat #restored timeline #shang tsung #raiden

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rachelbethhines · 4 years

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Tangled Salt Marathon - What Is the Point? (first half of S2 Recap)

So we’ve reached the mid-season finale of season two and so now's as good a time as any to recap and summarize thus far.

You can find the recaps for season one here To Filler or Not To Filler Hey, What Ever Happened to That Varitas, Guy?

Episodes that are featured in this recap are as follows

Beyond the Corona Walls Part 1

Beyond the Corona Walls Part 2

The Return of Quaid

Goodbye and Goodwill

Forest of No Return

Freebird

Vigor the Visionary

Keeper of the Spire

King Pascal

There's Something About Hook Foot

Happiness Is

Max and Eugene in Peril on the High Seas

Curses

The Eye of Pincosta

Rapunzel and the Great Tree Part 1

Rapunzel and the Great Tree Part 2

Lack of Conflict

Season two has no ongoing conflict. There’s no external force driving the characters forward, no threat they have to overcome, and no reason given for their quest. As such there’s nothing to support the underlining internal conflicts that the series wants to tell.

Rapunzel can just go home if she wants to Cassandra can just leave the group whenever if she thinks she has more job opportunities elsewhere Eugene is only here cause Rapunzel is, and if he wants to avoid his past he can just stay in the caravan whenever need be Nothing is really stopping Eugene and Rapunzel from getting engaged There’s no need to listen to Adira

And ect. and so on. All of the main characters’ supposed problems fall apart when you realize they have no reason to do what they do, and less reason to not act upon what they want.

None of It Matters

Of the 16 episodes I’ve covered so far, only 6 actually matter in the long run and 4 of those are two parters.

Ten whole episodes of filler. Some might feature optional stuff, like a second of foreshadowing or just establishing how they got to a certain place, maybe even some character insight if we’re lucky, but no, most don’t tie into the final conflict nor the mains character development.

And of the six episodes I pointed out, even what they do offer is incredibly thin. A piece of the season’s macuffin, (aka the scroll), a short flashback to the Dark Kingdom, maybe a subplot with an important character introduction; yet most of the episode will be over stuffed with pointlessness or give us hints to things that’ll never be resolved nor explained.

Part of the problem is that most of it doesn’t connect back to all the worldbuilding we did in season one, and so most of the world building in season two winds up not coming back into play.

Some people have suggested that they don’t mind the filler because it ‘adds flavor’ to the proceedings. You don't want to order a hamburger with all the fixings to only get meat sandwiched between bread and nothing else. But with that same analogy you don't want to order that same hamburger and get a salad with a few crumbs of ground meat thrown inside of it instead.

It’s about balance and Tangled the Series is very much a salad with mostly wilted lettuce. You might find a bit of shredded cheese here or a crumb of a crouton there; but it’s definitely not a hamburger.

Half the Characters Don't Even Need to Be Here

Hook Foot is useless Shorty is useless Lance shouldn’t be useless but he is Fidella is plot device not a character Owl is barely even on screen despite the fact that he’s supposed to be there for his part in season 3 And Pascal and Max only get one episode of focus, both of which were filler.

The consequence have having too many characters, particularly ones that don’t have anything to do with the main story, means that the writers are constantly juggling for ways to write them out or give them screen time at the expense of others. And by having this merry-go-round of character addition musical chairs, none of the group feel like a team let alone friends.

Yet Characters That Should Be Here, Aren’t

Adira, Lady Caine, Hector, and especially Varian all should have gotten more screen time because they all had unresolved conflicts.

Lady Caine is unceremoniously shoved off without gaining any closure. Adira keeps sneaking off for unstated reasons instead of sticking with the group, despite doing so actively undermining her goals. Hector never gets to fulfill his purpose. And Varian is written out of the show despite being the most plot relevant character.

In addition to those above mentioned characters, there was no shortage of characters that could have been given expanded roles instead of Hook Foot or Shorty.

The Baron and Stalyan could have been more prominent villains; same for Weasel or the Stabingtons. Faith would have made a good secondary female friend for both Rapunzel and Cassandra, while being different enough to them to stand out on her own. Calliope would have been another option to fulfill that role, and she would have been useful as the group’s recent tour guide given all the knowledge she has. Then there’s Angry and Red, both of whom shouldn’t have been left on their on.

Conclusion

The clear mismanagement of this show is mind boggling. I don’t know how anyone who has ever worked in the industry before could screw something up this badly. Not without facing some sort of corporate mandated changes and a shake up of the creative team at least. But there’s no indication that that is what happened. Now add in the bad PR from the head showrunner and yeah, it’s no wonder the show plummeted in ratings after this.

#tangled #varian #anti-tangled #tangled the series #rapunzel's tangled adventure

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violetwolfraven · 4 years

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Already Home

((Angsty one-shot time. Good luck, y’all. This is to Already Home by A Great Big World.))

...

You say

Jack was a goddamn idiot.

For getting on that stupid train, for crossing the country for someone who didn’t know he existed, for wanting Santa Fe so badly in the first place when he’d never seen so much as a picture of it outside his mother’s stories.

Love is what you put into it

His hands had been numb opening that letter, addressed to Anita Kelly-Sullivan. The boy who delivered had been paid enough that he’d looked everywhere, asking all around until he found out that Anita was dead, but her best friend owned a theatre on the Upper East Side. Her best friend told him that Anita was dead, but she’d had a son. Anita was dead, but her son worked as a Newsie and lived at the Duane Street Lodging House.

You say

Anita Kelly-Sullivan. A woman who’d moved to New York to become a dancer, but hurt her leg before she ever made it big. Who’d dreamed of owning a theatre with her best friend, but never recovered in time to get it.

Jack had never told anyone about her. The others probably assumed he didn’t remember his parents, the way Race, Smalls, and Crutchie only had a few vague memories of theirs.

Until the day when Davey walked in on him with that letter, completely in shock.

He’d wordlessly handed the letter to his lover, with only a brief explanation.

“My grandfather is dyin’. He spent his last dollar to send this letter for my mama.”

That I’m losing my will

“I have to go, Davey.”

Davey had thought it was a bad idea. The letter had taken a few days to even get to New York, and it had taken that boy weeks to find Jack when it did.

Jack’s grandfather didn’t know he existed. Anita Kelly had sent one last letter home when she got married, and never been able to afford to write to her father again after that.

Jack had always assumed, from the way his mama talked, that he was already dead.

That man was the one from the stories. The vaquero, the cowboy, Jack had always wanted to be.

Maybe it wasn’t smart to cross the country to say goodbye to someone who didn’t know he existed, but Jack still felt like he had to.

Don’t you know that you’re all that I think about

Davey’s face had said that he didn’t approve, but he said goodbye at the train station with the others as if they were friends. In the Lodging House beforehand, he said goodbye with a kiss.

“I hope you find what you’re looking for.”

Jack wasn’t looking for a family or home anymore. Just closure. His mother had never gotten to say goodbye to her father, so he would for her. Then he’d come right home.

You make up a half of the whole

It had still hurt to watch Davey’s face get smaller and smaller from that train.

You say

The train ride wasn’t how Jack had always imagined it, but he guessed he should have expected that.

All he kept thinking about was how though he didn’t say it, Davey’s face had told what he was really thinking.

About how Jack was leaving him.

That it’s hard to commit to it

Jack knew that the others had a hard time believing him that he was really over that fantasy of Santa Fe. He saw the look on Race’s face when he looked at a western through a store window, the uncertainty whenever Crutchie called him ‘Cowboy.’ They were still scared that Jack would just pack up and leave them. Not that he could blame them.

You say

He saw now that they were his family. They were his home. He would never leave them without plans to come back.

He would never leave Davey.

Still, Davey’s words in their private goodbye stuck with him, replaying all through the train ride.

“I know you have to go. I know how hard it is for you to want to stay in one place, and... I hope you find what you’re looking for.”

Jack wished he could tell him how homesick he was from the second the train pulled out of the station.

That it’s hard standing still

Santa Fe was hotter than he was expecting.

Jack probably should have seen that coming. His mama had always said that he couldn’t imagine how hot New Mexico summers were, and September was the tail end of it.

He’d asked for directions, gone to the address on the letter, and found a middle-aged woman who looked too much like his mother sweeping the porch.

She’d asked him in English what he was doing there.

It took Jack a few seconds to answer, and when he did, it was in shaky, slightly-panicked Spanish.

“You sent a letter to New York for Anita Kelly-Sullivan. Only... only she’s... I... my name is Jack. Jack Kelly. She never got to tell you about me.”

The woman had gaped at him, clearly connecting the dots, doing the math on how old he was, scanning his face, then shakily responded.

“I... you’re Anita’s boy?”

Jack nodded, “She died when I was 5. I’m sorry.”

The woman had closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, then given him a sad smile, “I guess I’m your Aunt Sophia. I’m so sorry. You’re too late.”

It turned out that Jack’s grandfather was already dead, and while Sophia would have been happy to have him stay, she was understanding when he said he had a family to go back to. If anything, she seemed happy that Jack wasn’t alone, that he’d had someone after his mom died.

Don’t you know that I spend all my nights

So, Jack gave his Aunt Sophia Medda’s address so she could write if she wanted, filled her in on his mother’s accident, how their family had fallen into poverty after they had him, and how she’d gotten sick after her husband went to prison. He was sorry he didn’t have more to give her, but just knowing for sure what had happened to her sister seemed to be enough.

Knowing that he had an aunt out west... well, it was more than enough for Jack.

Counting backwards the days till I’m home

It wasn’t until he got to the train station that he realized he didn’t have enough to get back to New York.

If only New York wasn’t so far away

Jack was stuck in Santa Fe. He should have listened to Davey.

I promise this city won’t get in our way

The man working at the station said Jack could get maybe halfway, but unless he wanted to be stranded somewhere in Missouri, he shouldn’t get on a train.

When you’re scared and alone

God, Davey and the others were going to think he just left them.

So, instead of letting them believe that, Jack did what he did have enough money for; he sent a letter. His handwriting was terrible, made worse by anger and fear, but he sent it, hoping they would understand.

Just know that I’m already home

Sophia was surprised when he showed back up on her doorstep, but willing to let him stay with her until he had enough money to go.

Jack just had to hope he could find a job in the morning.

...

I say

Davey was trying not to be worried. After all, maybe Jack had just lost track of time catching up with his family and missed the train. There would be another tonight. No need to jump to conclusions when half the Lodging House was already panicking.

Jack hadn’t been on the train they expected him back on.

That we’re right in the heart of it

“Davey!”

Davey shook himself out of his thoughts as the door downstairs banged. Race, Romeo, and Crutchie were running up to him, what looked like a letter in their hands.

“It’s from Jack,” Crutchie said grimly.

“It’s bad,” Romeo added.

A love only we understand

Scenarios raced through Davey’s head about how Jack found his blood family and no longer wanted his chosen one, he was staying in Santa Fe, he was abandoning them but he pushed those aside to read the letter.

Jack was not abandoning them for Santa Fe. He was stuck, and didn’t have enough money to get back.

I’ll come home as soon as I can. Until I have enough money, I’m staying with my aunt. Don’t worry about me, any of you. Especially you, Davey. Tell Race not to try to teach anyone to swim this year. Dave, you don’t wanna know what happened last time. I miss you all, but with luck, I’ll be home soon. Love, Jack

That was what the last paragraph of the letter said, and Davey knew it was as close as he could get to safely telling him he loved him, but that wasn’t the part he was worried about.

I will bend every light in this city

Jack wrote messy normally, but he only wrote this messy when he was upset—scared or angry.

He was worried he wouldn’t be able to get home, and Davey wasn’t about to let that happen.

And make sure they’re shining on you

“How many of the others would be willing to work extra to send Jack money to get home?”

“I will,” Race said firmly.

“I think everyone will,” Crutchie admitted, fidgeting with the grip of his crutch.

If only New York wasn’t so far away

Davey folded up the letter, putting it in his pocket.

I promise this city won’t get in our way

“We’re gonna bring him home,” he told the others firmly, “If we all work together, we can do it.”

And when you’re scared and alone, just know that I’m already home

...

“So, Racetrack and Albert are the ones who cause trouble?” Sophia asked with a laugh.

“Yeah,” Jack confirmed, “And sometimes Crutchie and Romeo, too. And they’re a handful, but at least I can tell when something’s bothering one of them. It’s the quiet ones I need to keep an eye on.”

“You have a lot of friends,” she noted.

“I do.”

Jack had been stuck in Santa Fe for a month now, saving what he could, but he also had to help Sophia pay for food, now that he was living with her.

His aunt smiled at him, “You’re so much like Anita, you know. She had a lot of friends, too. Such a big heart. I can see you got that from her.”

Jack snorted, “Well, I didn’t get it from my father.”

When life takes its own course

He still didn’t like to think about that man. Jack’s mama had deserved the best husband in the world, and instead, she’d gotten Francis Sullivan, a man who’d let a cruel world turn him cruel, too, instead of wanting to make it better.

Jack had sworn never to be like him. That was why he’d taken his mother’s maiden name, using the middle name she’d always called him by as his first. He’d decided to carry her legacy instead of his father’s.

He’d told Davey that just before leaving. He wondered what Davey was doing now, if he was back in school yet or if he’d even kept with the newsies without Jack there.

He really hoped so. Davey needed not to be alone and the others needed someone to take care of them until he got home.

“You want to know something else about your mama?”

Jack nodded eagerly. In the last month, he’d already learned more about his mother than he’d remembered on his own.

“She could never hide her feelings from me,” Sophia said simply, “When she was happy, or sad, or angry... or when she was in love.”

Jack froze.

He really liked Sophia. And he knew that the west was somewhat safer than New York for people like him, if only a little, but he wasn’t sure if his aunt was one of the people who didn’t care who other people loved. After all, she did go to church every Sunday and all that.

“You told me about your friend, Katherine,” she said, “The reporter. Is it her?”

Judging by her tone, she didn’t really think it was Katherine. Crap.

“Uh, no,” Jack responded, “I did court Kath for a while, but we broke up.”

“That girl, Sarah, then? Or was it Smalls? I can’t keep all of your friends’ nicknames straight.”

Jack was now regretting telling her about each and every one of his friends.

Because though he hadn’t told her about his relationship, he had told her about Davey.

Sophia smiled, “It’s not a girl at all, is it?”

Judging her reaction as safe as Esther and Mayer’s had been, Jack slowly shook his head.

Sometimes we just don’t get to choose

“Did you know that your grandfather had a male partner when he was young?”

“What?!”

Sophia laughed, “Many cowboys did. Not many women out west in those days, and some of them would have preferred men, even if there were. Unfortunately, Papa’s partner died young, but if he hadn’t, Papa might not have ever fallen in love with your grandmother.”

Jack was still wrapping his head around that information when his aunt spoke again.

“You must miss him.”

I’d rather be there next to you

He managed to nod, “I do. A lot.”

“Well, I hope I get to meet this man of yours someday. Which one is he?”

“Davey.”

Promise you’ll wait for me

...

Wait for me

“Damn it,” Davey swore.

Everyone had been slinging nearly twice as many papes as they usually did, Race was being more careful with betting, and even Kath had chipped in as much as she could spare since her father kicked her out. They were saving every little bit they could to send to Jack, but they barely had enough to send a letter, let alone any money in it.

It was nearly November. Which meant Davey had to choose between sending what they had to Jack or putting it toward keeping everyone alive through the winter.

Jack would know what choice to make, but he wasn’t here.

Wait till I’m home

As of now, they could pay for a letter to Santa Fe, but they’d only be able to put a couple dollars in it. Nowhere near enough for a train ticket.

“I could move out of my apartment,” Kath offered, “Staying in the Lodging House would be cheaper. I could—“

“No, Kath,” Davey mumbled, “Kloppman’s reluctant to let Smalls and Sniper stay, and they’ve been here since they were Littles. You’re a full grown woman.”

“To get Jack home, I bet I could convince him to—“

“We don’t have a bunk to spare, anyway.”

Kath shut up, still looking like she was thinking hard.

She’d already done so much for them, putting every cent she earned that didn’t need to be spent on rent or food toward bringing Jack home. She’d been taking every story available lately, from big articles like she usually took to the kind of flower show reviews she hated. And all of this was especially notable on the count that as a woman, Kath didn’t make as much as most reporters, anyway.

“Kath, you’ve done more than enough,” Davey muttered, “Winter’s coming up, and now that you’re out of your dad’s house, it’s going to be hard on you, too.”

Kath shrugged, “My reporter salary is more than most of you newsies make combined.”

“That don’t mean you can afford to be careless with it,” Davey insisted, “Kath, you’re gonna have to save up to buy yourself some real winter clothes. Less newspapers sold in colder months means less income for you, too.”

The look on her face said that she’d already thought of that, and had been planning on helping, anyway.

“I miss him,” she said finally, “And I’m worried. We haven’t heard from him in two months.”

“Believe me, I know.”

Kath sighed, “So... what are we gonna do? Save for winter, or keep saving for Jack?”

Davey really hated this choice, but he knew what he had to choose.

All I had was this feeling inside of me

“Romeo can barely fit into his shoes,” he mumbled, “Finch needs a new shirt. And that’s not even taking into account all the new kids who are gonna come ‘cause they lost parents to cold or sickness.”

Kath nodded grimly, “It’s what Jack would do.”

“I know,” Davey admitted.

The only thing I have ever known

...

If only New York wasn’t so far away

Santa Fe wasn’t even cold in winter, which made Jack feel strangely guilty. It made him think more of his kids, of Kath, Sarah, and especially of Davey, and how they had to be nearly freezing to death up in New York.

“I’m worried about them,” he admitted to Sophia.

“I’m sure they’ll be fine, Jack.”

He knew better than her that some of them probably wouldn’t be, and he wasn’t even close to having enough to go to them.

He hoped the flu didn’t come through too bad this year. They’d lost kids to it in the past.

The only thing worse than watching a kid die would be losing one and not being there for them in the end, not being able to even try to ease their pain.

Oh, God, Jack hoped Davey, Crutchie, and Race were handling things.

...

I will be there every step of the way

Davey swore under his breath as he took a step out of the bunk room for a five second break.

They didn’t know who had brought the flu home, but it was bad. Half the Lodging House was down, including Race and Crutchie. Davey was the only leader still standing.

Well, besides Katherine, technically, but they weren’t letting her in the house.

They had some medicine, bought with the money they were going to use to bring Jack home, but they couldn’t afford to give it to everyone; just the really bad cases. The cases that looked like somebody was about to die.

God, if Jack had been doing this every winter since he was 14, Davey was amazed he was still sane.

“You alright, kid?” Kloppman asked.

Davey nodded, “Yeah, I’m fine.”

Kloppman raised an eyebrow, “That’s what Jack always used to say.”

“Especially when he wasn’t,” Davey mumbled, “I know. Fine. I’m not fine. Is that what you wanted me to say?”

“Bottlin’ it up never helps. I know Jack leavin’, even when it was temporary, hurt you more than the others. I know what he means to you.”

A smile flickered across Davey’s face, half-delirious. He’d always suspected Kloppman knew about them, and judging by the tone of his voice, he definitely did.

“Kid, it’s okay to miss him.”

“I do miss him. Every minute. But he’s not the one who needs me right now.”

Davey took a deep breath, grabbing a few handkerchiefs off the drying line, and headed back for the bunks full of sick kids.

“Hey, Davey?”

Davey stopped, “Yeah?”

“Thanks. For takin’ care of the boys while Jack’s gone.”

“No problem.”

Davey couldn’t imagine not taking care of them when they clearly needed him.

They needed Jack, in reality, but he would have to do for now.

God, he barely could. Especially when he needed Jack, too.

...

And when you’re scared and alone

Spring coming in Santa Fe wasn’t as noticeable as it was in New York.

Counting back the days, Jack realized that he’d been there for almost six months.

He’d been in his mother’s birthplace, his childhood fantasy, for six months.

Shit. He’d been trying not to think about it. How long he’d been gone. How different his family must be and how much they must miss him.

All he did was think about them. His brothers and sisters. The only family he’d ever known. His lover, Davey, that wonderful boy waiting for him back home.

Hopefully still waiting for him. If Davey had moved on by now, Jack wouldn’t blame him.

God, how had he taken so long to realize that they were the family he’d been looking for?

Why was he just realizing now that Davey was his Santa Fe?

“You’re thinking about him, aren’t you?”

Sophia was standing on the porch behind him, and Jack had a sudden realization that from his new job to the house he was staying in with his aunt, he hadn’t spoken English in months.

He’d always loved his mama’s language. Loved speaking it with Jojo or whoever else happened to be around who understood.

He still loved it. Honestly, Jack couldn’t remember feeling as close to his mother as he did here.

But she’d been gone a long time, and he had more people he loved now still alive back in New York.

As hard as he’d tried, Davey had never been able to get Spanish. Jack missed laughing at his terrible pronunciation, then just switching to English and spending the whole night talking between kisses.

“I’m always thinkin’ ‘bout him,” he mumbled.

“I’m sure he’s thinking of you, too,” Sophia said.

Jack hoped Davey wasn’t feeling as lonely as he was right now, clinging to memories and missing the person who had become the embodiment of his dreams.

Davey wasn’t Santa Fe. He was New York.

He was Jack’s home.

Just know that I’m already home

...

Davey stared off in the direction of the train station on the first sunny day of the season.

It had been over six months since he last saw Jack Kelly.

They hadn’t lost anybody this winter, but it had come close. Now, the weather was starting to warm up, and Davey was debating whether or not to start saving for a train ticket again or not.

He was sure if Jack was still alive, he was doing everything he could to get home. He could use all the help he could get.

But on the other hand, after how close they had come to losing Crutchie, to losing Smalls and Blink, Davey wasn’t sure they shouldn’t just start saving up for next winter.

Still, he stared towards the train station. He still had dreams that he’d see a familiar silhouette coming home from there sometimes.

“Wanna go sell down there?” Crutchie asked.

They were selling together today. Les was selling with Mush.

He just shrugged, “If you want to.”

Davey was finding it hard to show enthusiasm for anything lately. He was getting to be nearly as good a liar as Jack, just smiling and joking around to hawk papers.

“He’s comin’ home. As soon as he can. Ya know that, right?”

“You don’t have to put on a happy face for me, Crutchie. I know you miss him as much as I do.”

Crutchie took a deep breath, “Yeah. Yeah, I mean, of course I do. He’s my brother, blood be damned. And we both know Race runs away to Sheepshead to hide how he does, too.”

The three of them were messes, weren’t they, desperately trying to keep the others from losing hope? Especially when they were the ones breaking the most from this.

Davey tossed an arm around his friend’s shoulders and squeezed, “Kath’s got a front page story again today. Let’s sell a ton for her.”

Crutchie grinned, elbowing him, “Of course. Bet I can sell more’n you.”

“In your dreams, Morris.”

His laugh sounded fake, but Davey didn’t let himself think about it.

One day, someone would come home from the train station.

Until then, Davey would make sure home was still there for him.

With one last glance towards the station, Davey turned and headed towards his and Crutchie’s selling spot.

Just know that I’m already home

Part 2 here!

#newsies #javid #javey #angst #jack x davey #jack kelly #davey jacobs #david jacobs #david davey jacobs #songfic #already home #violet’s writing

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shirlleycoyle · 3 years

Text

I’m An Adult Performer. Here’s Why I’m Abandoning Amazon Wishlists.

GoAskAlex is an adult entertainer who launched her career in 2014 as a webcam model and online companion. Most recently, Alex won the 2020 XBIZ Cam Awards for Best Inked Model and 2021 XBIZ Awards for Overall Best Cam Model.

I like to think that the majority of people in this world have good intentions, and that includes my fellow performers in the adult entertainment industry. I can only speak for my own experience, but I’ve found the majority of sex workers I’ve met to be open minded, generous, and empathetic people; they certainly wouldn’t want to support corruption and abuse.

Despite this, when you ask adult performers how you can send them a gift, many of them will link you to their Amazon Wishlist. This is because these Wishlists provide performers with a convenient, uncomplicated, and anonymous way to receive gifts from their fans.

With the quick and easy registration of an anonymous PO box, anything you can imagine is available at your fingertips–and your fans from around the world can send it to you at the click of a button.

If you ask most people how they feel about corporate corruption and workplace abuse, they’ll tell you they’re against it. As a society, we tend to believe that everyone is entitled to the same opportunities and rights; food, shelter, water, comfort—these are intrinsic to our survival and mental wellbeing. We know we all deserve access to them, but we don’t always act like it.

By this point, you are likely aware of the multiple labor rights violations Amazon (the largest employer in the country) is responsible for.

Founded by Jeff Bezos in 1995, Amazon was initially created as an online bookstore. This may sound innocent enough, but the framework of the company was designed to eradicate small businesses or "mom & pop" stores, and (once the competition was eliminated) hike up prices.

Today, Amazon controls 75 percent of online sales of physical books. Amazon now dominates retail around much of the globe. Overall, Amazon is projected to account for 40 percent of online retail sales in the U.S. by the end of 2021.

For Bezos, one of the richest people on earth with a colossal net worth of over $200 billion, spending $88,000 is as easy as spending $1 would be for you and I.

While Bezos spends his fortune on trips to space, every day new and horrible stories about working conditions at the company come to light. Amazon workers say they regularly have to pee in bottles because they don't have enough time to take bathroom breaks, a problem that's much harder for women. They have to follow cost saving routing algorithms that make them walk into traffic. Injury data shows that Amazon jobs are more dangerous than Walmart and UPS jobs. And despite these working conditions, some Amazon workers can't afford to live anywhere but their car. Much of this labor is spent on delivering products which quickly turn into waste at great environmental cost.

I am sure that most adult performers can agree this is not the type of company we want to support. So why do we?

Because of the stigma and criminalization of sex work worldwide, those of us in the industry often struggle to accept payment through traditional vendors; In my personal experience, I struggled to open a business account at my bank because of their acceptable use policy. I was made to jump through hoops that most mainstream businesses don't have to just so that I could deposit my pay checks. It's no wonder that so many sex workers gravitate towards alternative payment options when we are often at risk of account closures or the seizure of our assets.

Amazon is an evil corporation built with the framework of exploiting workers for capital gain. It's also the easiest, most convenient option to receive goodies–and lots of them. We are faced with the difficult decision to either sacrifice the constant flow of gifts–or admit that we care more about our financial and material gain than we do about the exploitation of our fellow workers–and the environment around us. Rather than doing either, we make excuses for our actions and convince ourselves that our behavior isn’t all that bad. At the very least, we ignore the problem. After all, what can one person do?

In 1957, psychologist Leon Festinger published ‘A Theory of Cognitive Dissonance,’ explaining the discomfort people feel when they hold conflicting beliefs, or when their actions contradict their beliefs.

Experiencing cognitive dissonance may cause a person to feel anxious, guilty, and ashamed. As a result they will constantly rationalize their actions or choices, avoid conversations on the topic, and ignore information and research that opposes their existing beliefs.

I believe that cognitive dissonance has prevented many of us (both in and out of the adult industry) from making the right decision for our communities, for our local economies, and for our planet. The convenience and perks of Amazon (and other sites like it) have been tantalizing enough to dominate this part of our industry while cognitive dissonance has allowed us to pretend it’s not a problem.

I have come to the conclusion that it’s unnecessary, unethical, and inhumane to continue supporting Amazon and everything that it stands for. Though I know there are many who are not in a financially secure enough space to turn down the monetary gains associated with these gifts, I urge all of those who are to think seriously about their priorities. What is more important to us–convenience, or humanity?

For many years I’ve chosen convenience, and today I choose humanity.

I’m An Adult Performer. Here’s Why I’m Abandoning Amazon Wishlists. syndicated from https://triviaqaweb.wordpress.com/feed/

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project-rebirth · 3 years

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There is something that has been on my mind and like to get off my chest for a bit.

To clear things up before I get into it, I am only adding my own two cents on the matter since this wouldn’t even be happening if it wasn’t for what I did. I would ask that you not reach out to any of the persons involved regarding this matter if you somehow know who they are. I won’t namedrop anyone involved and will just be adding my own thoughts on the matter since this again, would not have come up were it not for me.

Truthfully speaking, there is only one person who shares the blame for the situation at hand and that is me. A year ago, I did something that many in the RPC would arguably agree to be the height of heresy, and would and should be frowned upon. Person A’s response to what I did was completely justified, and I took full responsibility for what happened. Person B on the other hand, jumped the gun in some sort of attempt to defend me, even when it was not necessary nor warranted. They may not have known the full details of what happened at the time, (Which is why I urge people to look at both sides of an argument before jumping to conclusions), but that is here nor there. The fault lay in me for not explaining things concisely and not in time before people jumped to conclusions about who was really at fault.

Despite this rashness, I hold no ill-will towards person B. I understand that their intentions were to stand up for me, but those intentions were horridly misguided and unnecessary. If anything, that venom should have been directed AT ME.

I apologized for my actions and my position on this remains unchanged. I should have known better at the time and I accepted the punishment that was to come from that. For those of you who are wondering what I did, it was basically OC theft, something which many would frown upon for obvious reasons.

I will not make excuses to defend what I did last year, but I feel the need to explain what was going in with me during this time period, just to paint the picture of who truly is responsible for the events unfolded.

This was around January/Febuary, a time when I was still fairly new to the Tumblr RPC and it was during this specific time period where I was under lots of stress, from a rather uncomfortable birthday dinner which added to my existential crisis issues, to the world situation that was developing not making things better. To add on this, an active mutual of mine decided to cut ties which left me feeling awful, so that only added to the list of problems I was having.

I feel the biggest contributor was the fact that I was still the mindset of the fanfic I had been writing before coming to the RPC and thought that certain things that were okay with certain people would be fine over here --- which turns out that was not the case at all. It was ultimately hubris in thinking that a collaborative fanfic writing was the same as writing on here, and it was the height of arrogance to assume that someone would be okay with something just because we were close and worked on projects together. I should have asked instead of assuming and I realize my folly.

Overall, I was a very toxic piece of crap back then who didn’t know when to suppress his feelings and shut up about his worries. I should have been better than what I was, and the fallout from this is one of the biggest regrets I will always have.

Which brings us to now.

A year has passed and we have mostly moved passed the incident. (I still regret it but that’s beside the point). Now, it has come to my attention that this incident that was caused by my immaturity and arrogance has resulted in bad blood between the other two parties. Person A is justified in their anger and my thoughts on Person B still stand, but this has left me a bad taste in my mouth.

What bothers me isn’t the fact that Person A wants nothing to do with Person B, but rather, that this whole rift would not have existed if it wasn’t for me.

It is rather heartbreaking to know that I am directly responsible for the reason why two mutuals of mine aren’t on good terms. Had I not did what I did, had I handled the situation differently back then, like simply apologized then delete the blog it took place on before things developed into what it did, they would not be on bad terms with each other.

And this is a fact that I will have to live with.

This is entirely my fault, that two people can no longer interact with each other because of my immaturity, my arrogance, and my toxicity. If I had been removed from the equation and had not “created” those damn OCs, these two would probably be interacting with each other with no bad blood whatsoever.

These are just more consequences to the actions I made and I have to accept it, but it’s still disheartening for things to have developed this way.

I apologized for my actions one year ago, and I must apologize now. To Person A, I apologize for using your OCs without your permission and the pain that I had caused as a result of it. I know you want to put this behind you, but I still feel the need to apologize.

To Person B, I apologize for unintentionally getting you involved. Even though you did jump the gun and inserted yourself into the situation where it wasn’t warranted, and without all of the facts, I understand why you did it and that in your mind, you were trying to defend a mutual from something you perceived to be an unfair affair. Even though you are at fault for the things you said, It was because of me that lead you to say those things in the first place. I should have made things more clear so that you or anyone else didn’t jump to conclusions based on what you were seeing, so I apologize for any strife this whole ordeal may have caused. I would ask that if I were to find myself in a similar situation again, that you not be so eager to jump to my defence.

And to both of you equally, I apologize for creating this rift between you. You could have had great interactions with each other, but those opportunities have been destroyed because of something I had done one year ago. I am sorry for everything. I am sorry it came to this. I am sorry for my fatal mistake and I am sorry for hurting you both. I just wanted to get that out there, first and foremost, for closure.

That’s all I have to say on this matter.

#Admin's Notes // OOC

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greengargouille · 4 years

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At long last I have some time for Mother of Learning’s epilogue, which is great because I’ve been missing checking the tag but I wanted to avoid thinking too much about it before getting some rest So! What happened to our two -now former- time travellers since Zorian last fell unconscious?

-I expected either the ‘good morning’ wake up or a flashforward, but I admit I did not think of the two together. One month already, wow. Also, Zach is on friendly terms enough with Kirielle to rope her into his revenge pranks via PTSD. Neat.

(And Zorian complains about how long will Zach keep up with this, but, let’s admit it, halfway through that month Zorian probably pulled some nasty prank too in retribution, like pretending to have forgotten everything that happened within the loops. You can’t make me believe he never tried to get back at Zach) - “A dozen of people or so”, that’s... kind of a lot? I remembered that the only reason Zorian wasn’t sharing his bed with Kirielle in most restarts is because Imaya allowed her to have her own room while there wasn’t a third tenant for it. *checks previous chapters* Hmm, nope, it does say that there is a bunch of rooms on the second floor. Though I guess with the ‘slightly beyond’ capacity, some people do have to share their bedrooms.

Ah, nevermind, it does seems to be what I initially remembered. Well, one room for Imaya, one for Kael and Kana, one for Zorian and the last one for Kirielle would count as “a bunch”. But how are they sharing that between a dozen people?

(Zorian one evening just come to the Noveda Estate to get a room here, because he just can’t handle that many people under one roof and especially in his room.) (...Wait, is the Noveda Estate in good state, actually, or was it destroyed during the invasion attempt? Though I guess even if it’s mostly intact, it’s not Zach’s yet till he get a fair trial against his mentor)

-Ilsa is here! Did she sleep at the academy too? Or is she just here to watch over her students? I don’t care, I’m deciding she is sleeping here. Look, I might have never mentioned it before, but I have an incredibly soft spot at the idea of Ilsa and Imaya being girlfriends through their school years, and deciding to break up due to not being able to invest time in each other any more, but still remaining good friends. Look, I’m just a simple lesbian that like some wlw of adult age in her fantasy.

-Imaya having the time of her life aaaaaaah my heart, this epilogue only started and I already feel so blessed.

-Zorian ask where Zach is, Ilsa reply by refering to him as [Zorian’s] friend, which is... weird? He is her student too, even if she must not have seen much of him (or Zorian too, either, though he still tried to have mind magic sessions at school so maybe he was more present. Hmm. I do remember him saying to Akoja that he wouldn’t be present much though.) That would also imply that Zach is Zorian’s friend first, and eventually for his other classmates too. Hmmmmm.

...No, really, the fact that Zach was here but couldn’t wait for Zorian to wake up, wouldn’t that imply that he lives here too? Would make sense that he avoids the Estate if he is currently fighting with Tesen. Or maybe he comes to grab breakfast after whoever in charge of cooking at the Estate resigned after the invasion.

...I like the idea of Zach being part of the household, though, he must have spent enough time there through the loops to feel attached to the place. (which means that instead of Zorian going to the Noveda Estate to get at least one peaceful night, it’s Zach instead that come to crash in his room to avoid his shitty mentor outside of court meetings)

-Study groups is something I never thought about but make complete sense given how the academy is supposed to be in a bad state. Cyoria’s importance as a town will probably be massively cut despite the presence of the only rank 6 mana hole, and the academy’s management will be tough for the whole year. I wonder if, by the end of it, it will be able to go back to being the best academy of the country (continent?), or if its reputation will never recover and students will be more distributed across other academies. This could have interesting consequences, economically or politically.

-Ah, confirmation that Zorian was indeed absent from most classes this month.

-Zorian is starting to follow in Xvim’s footsteps, aww :’D

-We get to check up with Raynie, and while I don’t have much to say about it, I do like the... realism of it? The whole ‘putting this young girl with an emotional story up front to cover for other things, but ready to turn on her if it was beneficial’. We’re not left with a saccharine closure for her, but it still feels hopeful.

-Oh, Zorian is openly a mind mage. And here I thought he would really try to cover this up. Guess I will have to make major changes to that sequel fic I was never going to write in the first place

-Akoja finding motivation to become better out of the accident is... oddly sweet, in a way? Her way of explaining it is relatable. It was a terrible thing, and she knows it was terrible and feel bad for all those people, and guilty for how it turned out so well for her- but that’s not going to stop her from getting those opportunities. And she does frame it as “when war came for her again, she would be ready”, not out of altruism or wanting to protect others, which I actually really love?

-Zorian have an ‘uncanny ability to notice the problem people were having, and how to fix them’. I wonder what’s at play there. Is it his empathy/mind magic that helps him, his archmage level experience, the fact he already made training programs for multiple people in the past, or just because he is quite familiar with those people due to the time loop? Maybe all of this.

-Akoja understanding that the image she had of Zorian is flawed, but that she still likes him, is a good conclusion for her- even though the ways she notices in which he diverge from that mental picture are only due to the time loop, when even before that they already had major differences. Still a good step in the right direction.

-Akoja, Kopriva and Kael becoming buddies is nice. I like that the classmates are becoming friends even outside of the ZZ sphere of influence. (The term ‘bedfellow’ is not one I ever heard before, and I was ready to point this out as proof they all share rooms before looking at the definition. Sigh.)

-Ah, Zach is still seen as a ‘clown and a wastrel’ by his classmates, or at least Akoja. Seems obvious, as he didn’t interact much with her and need to stay low, but man, I feel like this kind of reputation could become a problem down the line. Or not. Even if he doesn’t show the full extend of his abilities, he can show enough to get some respect, for example hunting dangerous creatures.

-Kopriva thought Zorian became close to Zach for money, before learning about his sales. But not everybody have her connections. And Zorian is now a known mind mage. There’s probably one or two conspiracy theorists in Cyoria thinking that Zorian is manipulating Zach via mind magic and that’s why their relationship drastically switched.

-Hmm, if Kael is surprised someone got into his room despite the lock and ward, then it’s probably safe to say he doesn’t share it with someone else. Or another classmate, I guess he’s in the same situation with Kana that Zorian is with Kirielle.

-Some investigation ongoing! Seems like ZZ&co did a pretty good job at erasing their tracks. Zorian had probably no choice in leaving so much of the golem’s core behind, but I can’t help but think it means the end of his golem-making career, or he will have to keep it for private use- someone is going to recognise this kind of spell formula if he start producing golems interesting/effective enough to make enough sales despite being a one-man team.

-How much does the Triumverate Church knows about the summoning? Did Zorian went and erased the minds of people that were here when him and Zach first asked for an angel summon, or since it didn’t gave away anything about the loop, they were left alone? Is the fact those two were present at a not only successful summoning, but one that was hijacked by an high-rank angel, known by people higher in the Church hierarchy? Will they become unexpected allies in an eventual sequel when either of them is put in an awkward position by the crown?

-”It may take a year, or even a decade, but they were bound to make a mistake.” Flash forward a decade later, when Elayer learns the ‘saviors’ are the most powerful couple of the continent, and also are behind some of the help/money the investigation team got on other cases, and so it would be pretty bad for him to reveal the truth.

-POV switch to Damien, and we get a reminder that Zorian is basically an impostor who killed the original. Which is not something I, and probably many readers, thought much about at this point of the story, but it’s true this is a moral dilemma. Damien’s acceptance is a pretty normal reaction, though. I think. I dunno, my brother have yet to come up to me and tell me he is actually a time loop clone that killed the original, but I feel like I would be able to accept it.

-”Daimen was pretty sure his little brother would be willing to make an enemy out of the whole family for Kirielle’s sake”, except Daimen was baffled by their mother’s plans for her and wouldn’t go against Zorian, only try to smooth things over, and Fortov... wouldn’t it be hilarious if he actually supported Zorian through this plan. Zorian wouldn’t even know what to make of it since he just doesn’t care about his brother’s opinion.

-’Zorian can pull a grudge’, Daimen thinks, meanwhile Zach have been making petty pranks at Zorian for a whole month in retribution for putting him in an illusion world. The one who makes an enemy out of those two is going to have a very bad day.

-Benisek had to appear at least once in the epilogue, and with his overall contribution to the story it couldn’t have been a big part, but boy is his scene glorious. What a way to reveal some major information to people around :’)

-Spear of Resolve get to stroll openly through the city, how nice. The situation is far from being resolved for the web, and people’s perceptions probably aren’t going to shift even after getting used to them, but they are too important to strike down or ignore, and even before they already had trade relationships with some humans; a lot of possibilities are going to open for them.

-Taiven cameo! Her thriving as a combat mage and being totally independent from Zorian is a pretty satisfying end for her. Spending too much time around him would only make her discover some of his abilities and doubt her own, I’m afraid.

-The Noveda Estate is mentioned as a potential private meeting place, so it’s probably safe to assume it is not only mostly intact, and that Zach is living here/can invite people.

...Which reminds me. Didn’t Zorian have a workshop there (as seen in the chapter where he talks with Novelty and we hear about the pokeball grey hunter trap? Is the reason he asked Zach to buy a place for Kael and not for himself because he already had access to this one?

- “In all honesty, Zorian had yet to hand out even a fraction of the stuff he owed (...) It would take him literal years” This shouldn’t be surprising, given he already mentioned something similar before, but this is still something I wanted to point out, since it does align with a certain headcanon of mine on how the close future would go for him. This post is already pretty long so I won’t develop, might end up making another post about it I already said I won’t write that fic! Someone stop my brain from putting on more projects on me!

-Speaking of headcanons: Zorian is writing a book! My bet was on shaping exercises- a sort of follow up on the 15 variations basic book, putting the most interesting ones he saw during his travels, as well as less well known ones (Xvim did say there were shaping exercices for mind magic too, after all), and basically the kind of book he wished he could have during his training sessions with Xvim. But a mind magic book would actually be pretty great! If he is allowed to publish it. Not sure he can get the peer approval for it.

-Holy heck that Grey Hunter end. Well, that does answer the question of whether that primordial essence would dissolve away after Silverlake failed her contract. Man, I hadn’t expected her to actually have a part, despite joking about it.

-I expected Zach to have more of a role in the epilogue, but you know what? That just mean the unseen interactions are Free Real Estate.

This epilogue felt pretty good to read! It went in unexpected directions and managed to pull a lot of loose threads, while giving enough content to imagine an interesting sequel. I was worried till the end Zorian would date one of the girls he had interacted most with through the story, because this is the kind of disappointing ending stories tend to go for, but it really wouldn’t fit with Zorian’s character and just... the whole ethical problem of being mentally way older, having some major power imbalance and him retaining memories the other doesn’t have. Now that the story is completed I think I can go back and enjoy the passages where said girls appear more? They’re all very interesting characters in their own right, so I’m glad for that.

...I wouldn’t say I don’t want a sequel, but... I’m satisfied if Mr. Kurmaic ends the MoL-verse there (or only come back for worldbuilding posts on his blog). He did said he wanted to edit the story and eventually publish it before starting anything else, and he did want to write a completely different story, so even if he talked about a possible sequel, it wouldn’t be before years, and who knows how he will feel about the idea then. So I’m glad, I’m really glad, that the story ended so satisfying, because I feel like it’s fine for me if it’s over. I want to stay and enjoy the (very small) fandom here on tumblr, maybe contribute to it too, and I’m happy that I can do it without canon spoiling my enjoyment.

Mother of Learning will probably have a special place for me as a story. I wished it had more details on certain points, but it’s still a complete worldbuilding that felt fresh, the story had done amazingly well on Chekhov’s guns and twists, and I never felt like it went lazy or had disappointing answers to its mysteries (okay, maybe on Red Robe’s identity, but I feel that’s very forgivable). The magic system, Zorian’s progress, the time loop... so many elements that could have been badly exploited, but no, it never made characters take the idiot ball, the story didn’t pull power increase out of nowhere, it was all so good. Mostly, what I will admire the most, is that Nobody completed the story. The updates might have been constantly delayed, but it was still at a pretty good rhythm, and in a language that isn’t the maternal tongue of the author. As someone whose one-shots can stay WIP for years before I complete them... It is very inspiring.

I am so, so glad that I decided to read this story, that I was part of this adventure if only as a lurker... And I wish the best to Mr. Domagoj Kurmaic, whatever his next writing project will be- or even if he decides to stop writing at all. Sincerely, thank you.

#long post #very long post #mother of learning #personal opinon

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freddiesaysalright · 5 years

Text

Peace Like a River Part 10

A Gwilym Lee x Reader Story

Summary: Reader is a stand up comic with a pretty dark past. She has a three new lights in her life: her daughter, Violet; her anonymous correspondent, Dear Friend; and Gwilym Lee.

Word Count: 3.4K

Tag List: @psychosupernatural, @someone-get-a-medic, @bensrhapsody, @deakyclicks, @crazylittlethingcalledobsession, @minigranger, @simmisblog, @assembledherethevolunteers, @lookuptotheskiesandsee, @readinghorn, @riddikuluslypotter, @doingalrightt, @misslolasworld, @lemurian-starship, @ravenedges-lies, @painkiller80, @imgonnabeyourslave, @crazyweirdocalledfriday, @ixchel-9275, @sincerelygmg, @lv7867, @unicorn-princess-1999, @delilahmay39, @chlobo6, @dragon-out-of-water, @radio-hoo-ha If you’d like to be added let me know!

A/N: Alright!! This is more of a set for the coming chapter, but still lots of great stuff! We meet Y/N’s new assistant and find out what happened between Stacy and Henry! Also, Gwilym is maybe catching on!!!! Y’all enjoy :)

Part I Part II Part III Part IV Part V Part VI Part VII Part VIII Part IX

Part 10 here we go!!!

You read his letter over and over again. The whole trip home to Los Angeles, you pondered how to respond. What should you say? Should you come clean in the letters? Would he believe you if he did? Then, there was the matter of his confession and what he said.

Dear Friend. I’m afraid our correspondence must soon come to an end. I’m sorry if this comes as a shock to you, but I’ve met someone. As much as I’ve cherished getting to know you, and connecting with you over our shared interests, the person I’ve come to love is now in front of me. I always could picture a life with you. But she is the one person I cannot imagine my life without.

That being said, my invitation to meet still stands. I’d like for both of us to have some closure, so we won’t spend our whole lives wondering. If you’d prefer to let things lie, that would be alright, too, but I hope you’ll agree with me and have a proper conclusion. Let me know what you decide. Sincerely, Dear Friend.

Your mind raced with everything you had to consider. The time to come clean was upon you. When and where to do it appropriately was the only question left to answer. You knew Gwilym loved you. It was right there in black and white. Crystal clear. That made you so happy you could burst into song and dance. But, a fresh wave of guilt came with the demise of his relationship to Dear Friend.

He told you he was in love with her. Did any of those feelings still linger? How much did he still care? Enough to still want to meet, that was for sure. But he was also willing to just let it go. For you.

Part of you was a little offended. Could he really not even entertain the idea that you were the same person? He told you how alike you and Dear Friend were - which was obvious to you - but had it even crossed his mind? You had to talk to him and find out where his head was at and what he hoped for from all of this.

The only problem was that when you got back to LA, you were busy. You were shopping for Violet’s Christmas gifts, interviewing for a new assistant, your agent was hounding you about a film role she liked for you, and you were trying to squeeze in time to even just tell Gwilym you missed him. Texting was okay, but you missed seeing his face and the sound of his voice.

The only person who probably missed him more than you was Violet. She was pretty depressed, despite being excited for Christmas. Usually, she was in bed when you had time to call or FaceTime with Gwilym, so she missed a lot of it. The moments she did get to talk to him were brief, either in the car or over breakfast before your busy day.

You had booked your trip to London already. You’d be flying in on the twenty-first, just days before Christmas, and you’d stay through the New Year. Violet was incredibly excited. So much so, she was literally counting down the days with an Advent calendar. She had asked you to circle the day you were going to see Daddy, and you obliged.

One week before your departure, you interviewed a final candidate for your assistant. It was a man a little younger than you, named Adam, and his resume was impressive. It was all a matter of what you and Violet thought of him. You were conducting interviews at your house, and when the doorbell rang, she rushed to answer it.

“Hi!” Adam said brightly, smiling at her. “Are you the one hiring an assistant?”

She giggled. “No, silly, it’s my mommy!”

“Of course!” he said dramatically, gently hitting his forehead with the heel of his hand. “I am silly. You just seemed like such a busy girl.”

You grinned. He was already on the right track.

“Adam?” you said, coming to the door.

“Miss Y/L/N?” he returned, extending his hand.

“Y/N,” you told him, shaking it. “Come in, please.”

He followed you into the kitchen, Violet on your heels. She took to Adam quickly, whereas the others seemed sort of put out by her. It was refreshing.

“So, tell me why you left your most recent job,” you said as you took a seat across from him at the table.

“Things weren’t working out with her,” he said.

“Can I ask why?” you wondered.

He took a deep breath. “I might as well tell you so I don’t run into a similar issue. I have a boyfriend. I just came out earlier this year, and she didn’t agree with my ‘lifestyle.’”

You frowned. “That’s terrible. I’m so sorry that happened to you.”

He shrugged, but the corners of his mouth turned down in a way that told you it bothered him more than he was letting on.

“It’s okay.”

“It’s really not,” you said. “But just so you know, it makes no difference to me.”

He forced a smile. “That’s a relief.”

“So tell me about your strengths as an assistant,” you said.

He immediately straightened up and grew more positive. He was an impressive person, and throughout, he was considerate of both you and Violet. You allowed her to ask questions too, only they tended to pertain to things like if he liked chocolate, and if he did, whether or not he would share with her on the occasions that he had any. He assured her that he would.

“Well, I believe those are all my questions,” you said with a chuckle. “Anything else from you, Vi?”

“Will he come with us to see Daddy?” she wondered.

“Daddy?” Adam questioned.

“My boyfriend,” you said. “He lives in London and we’re going there next week for Christmas.”

“Ah, I see.”

“Sweetie, Adam probably has his own family he wants to see during the holiday,” you explained to your daughter.

“Actually,” he said. “My boyfriend is traveling with his family, and I don’t really speak to mine….” he trailed off.

“Oh, you’d really like to come?” you wondered. “But it’s Christmas, you shouldn’t have to work.”

“I’d love it actually,” he said. “I hate the idea of spending another one by myself.”

You smiled. “Alright. I’ll get you a ticket.”

“And I’ve already got a passport,” he returned with a smirk.

That afternoon, you got a call as you were starting on dinner. You were shocked at the name on the caller ID. It was Stacy. Curious, you answered.

“Hello?”

“Y/N?” she said, and you could hear that she had been crying.

“Stacy,” you returned coolly. “What do you want?”

“Well, um, I just spoke to Henry and he dumped me,” she said. “I was just wondering if you’d talked to him or...well…”

You sighed. “No, I haven’t.”

“Really?” she pressed. “He didn’t even give a reason, so I thought…”

“You really think he’d start listening to me all of a sudden?” you replied. “If he ended it, it’s because he didn’t feel it anymore or he couldn’t use you anymore. In either scenario, you’re better off, believe me.”

“Alright,” she sniffled. “I guess I’ll leave you alone then.”

“Goodbye, Stacy,” you said, and hung up.

You were conflicted about how you felt about this new development. You’d resigned yourself to the fact that Stacy would stay with Henry, and you hated the potential harm that could come to her, but you did what you could. The fact that Henry broke up with Stacy despite how the meeting went pissed you off a little. It meant his threat was empty. He was going to leave her anyway. You’d put yourself and your family through that whole ordeal only to find that he was bluffing. He’d used your vulnerability. Of course he had.

Then again, part of you was glad for the confrontation. You no longer feared Henry. Punching him had pretty much rid you of any remaining fear. Gwilym had jokingly named the punch The Defibrillator since you’d struck two spots in the chest at the same time. But in all seriousness, you felt that sense of overcoming your past which had haunted you. Shedding that shadow. That counted for something. You just hated that you’d frightened your daughter and put Gwilym in danger.

You looked out into the living room and watched Adam playing with Violet - she was introducing him to all her stuffed animals - and smiled. The part of your life with Stacy, Henry, and even Dear Friend was done now. You just had to take care of that last bit.

After dinner, you put Violet to bed and Adam offered to help with the dishes in exchange for you feeding him. When you came back down the stairs, you found him at the sink. He had a strangely guilty look on his face.

“What’s up?” you wondered.

“Girl, do you know what year it is?” he returned.

Your brow furrowed. “What?”

“You’re still writing letters? In this day in age?”

Your cheeks went pink.

“You saw my letter?!”

“I didn’t snoop or read it!” he insisted. “It was on the counter and I got water on it. It looked important so I dabbed it with a rag and saw it was a real handwritten letter and suddenly it was the early twentieth century.”

“Come on, everyone likes getting mail,” you argued.

“He’s not overseas fighting World War I,” he retorted. “Slide in the DMs like everybody else.”

You rolled your eyes.

“So, it’s your boyfriend you’re writing to?” he asked.

“I thought you said you didn’t read it,” you said.

“Okay, but I have eyes, so I caught a few things,” he shot back. “Are y’all breaking up?”

“No,” you told him. “He doesn’t know he’s writing to me.”

“O...kay…” he began. “We don’t have time to unpack what you just said to me, but luckily, we have a very long plane ride coming up soon.”

You laughed. “Alright, I’ll explain everything then.”

You helped him finish the dishes and then he left. You went to your desk to write back, but then you got another call. This time, the name thrilled you. It was a FaceTime call from Gwilym.

“Hey, baby,” you said as you picked up.

“Hello, love,” he replied. “How are you?”

“Good!” you told him. “I hired a new assistant today.”

“That’s wonderful,” he said. “What are they like?”

“His name is Adam…”

You told him about it and then he caught you up on the goings on in his life as well. When you came to a lull in conversation, you decided to bring up what had been weighing on you.

“So, there’s something we haven’t talked about,” you said. “I forgot about it after everything that’s happened, but it’s important.”

“What is it?” he wondered.

“Are you sure you have time to talk about it?” you asked. “Isn’t it like four in the morning there?”

“Yeah, but I couldn’t sleep,” he said. “It’s why I called. Let’s talk about it.”

You took a deep breath. “I’ve been meaning to ask you about...Dear Friend.”

“Oh,” he said, and his face fell. “Yes, I figured you’d have questions. Things with her have not been romantic in nature for some time.”

“How do you feel about that?” you asked.

“It’s sort of sad,” he began. “I feel I sort of lead her on only to disappoint her. In a way, I felt I was being unfaithful. But...I couldn’t help what happened between us. As soon as I knew how I felt about you, I told her.”

“And...are you still writing to her?”

“I wrote to her just before I left New York,” he said. “That’s when I explained everything. In the spirit of honesty, I should tell you I’ve still asked her to meet. I want to have proper closure with her.”

You nodded. He frowned.

“You’re not surprised by that?” he questioned.

You blinked. “Oh! Um, no, I am. Sorry, it’s just a lot to process. Do you...do you still care for her?”

“It’s more of a friendly feeling now,” he said. “Because my feelings for you formed. Although honestly, it began to feel like you two were the same person at times. So I felt really conflicted.”

Tell him! Your mind screamed at you. Tell him now, you coward!

“Funny,” you said weakly.

“Do you want me to call it off?” he asked.

You considered it. You wondered if calling it off would make it easier. But you also didn’t want him to wonder. An idea came to you. You weren’t sure if it was the noblest thing, but damn, it was romantic. And if anyone deserved a little romance, it was Gwilym. Especially after everything he’d endured with you and supported you through.

“No,” you said. “I want you to get what you need out of it.”

“That’s...surprisingly understanding of you,” he said.

“Gwilym, I love you,” you told him. “I only ever want you to be completely happy. If meeting her will help you, then I’m gonna be supportive.”

“I appreciate that,” he said. “More than you know.”

“I love you so much,” you said again.

“I love you too,” he replied with a small smile.

“Are you okay?” you wondered.

He looked almost sad. Disappointed.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he said, but you could tell something was off.

“Gwil,” you pressed.

“I suppose I’m just...I dunno...a bit sad,” he admitted.

“Why?”

“I’ve been writing to this woman for over a year,” he said. “I really...I really thought she was it for me. Happy as I am to have found you, I feel terrible that I’ve hurt her. Or will hurt her. It’s the end of something special.”

You wished you could tell him you were feeling the same way. Even though you knew, it felt sort of bittersweet. All the excitement and mystery would be gone.

“And it sort of makes me feel like the whole thing was just a fantasy,” he said. “That I couldn’t truly love someone without meeting them despite all the ways we connected. It makes me feel so foolish to have believed in it at all.”

Your heart ached for him.

“You’re...you’re not foolish,” you assured him. “You’re a romantic. If it helps, I don’t think what you shared with Dear Friend was just a fantasy. Feelings like that are real and can affect you. You care enough for this person to hurt for her now that it’s over. That’s real.”

He sighed and didn’t answer.

“Besides,” you went on. “Who cares what it means to others as long as you know what you meant to each other?”

His eyes went wide and he gaped at you.

“Y/N -”

You yawned before he could ask the question you’d planted in his mind.

“I’ve got to get some sleep.”

“Hold on - Y/N -!”

“Good night, Gwil!” you chirped. “Love you!”

You waved to him and he sputtered to keep you on the phone, but you hung up, smirking. You wanted to surprise him, but it couldn’t hurt to drop a hint. Giggling to yourself, you began your reply letter.

Dear Friend, you began. I’m not at all surprised by the news you’ve met someone. I’ve had my suspicions since you stopped writing “I love you” before the end of your letters. Let me first say, I completely understand. We can’t control who we fall in love with. I’m happy for you. Second, I also would like real and complete closure. Let’s try to meet again. I promise that I won’t run away this time, no matter what happens or who shows up.

You arranged to meet him on Christmas Eve at eight o’clock in the evening. The place was a park near Gwilym’s home, which you found after some meticulous Googling. You sealed up the envelope and addressed it, one last time. That familiar bittersweet feeling returned. This was the last letter. The end of Dear Friend.

This time, however, you weren’t scared. You had overcome more in the past few weeks than you had ever expected. You were proud of yourself. And you’d found Gwilym’s love amid all of it. It no longer felt uneven. You no longer felt unworthy. Gwilym loved you, and you believed him when he said it. No one could make you feel inferior to him. Not even yourself.

The next day, you went to put the letter in the mailbox just as Adam showed up for work. He laughed as he watched you put the flag up and everything. He got out of his car and you ignored his smug look.

“Letter writing is a lost art,” you said. “Now come inside and help me answer some emails.”

Chuckling, he followed you in. Violet gave a shout of delight at seeing him again.

“Good morning, Mister Adam!” she cried.

“You can just call me Adam, sweetie,” he said. “And good morning.”

“Want some pancakes?” she asked.

He looked at you to be sure there were enough. You nodded.

Well, sure,” he said, sitting down beside her.

You fixed him a plate before joining them with one of your own. Your phone rang and it was Gwilym, FaceTiming again. You answered just as you swallowed a bite of pancake.

“Morning, baby!” you said, leaning closer to Adam and showing Gwilym. “This is Adam, my new assistant!”

“Hello,” Gwilym said politely.

Adam turned his eyes on Gwilym and then choked on his coffee.

“That’s your boyfriend?!” he cried. “That’s a real person?! He’s so handsome!”

Gwilym blushed. “Oh, my, that’s very kind of you.”

“He’s coming with us to London,” you said to Gwil.

“That’s great!” Gwilym said. “Listen, darling, I wanted to ask you something -”

“I wanna talk to him!” Violet whined. “Mommy, let me!”

“Hold on,” you said, looking at Gwil. “Violet wants to say hello.”

He chuckled. “Yes, of course.”

You propped your phone up facing Violet, who beamed.

“Hi, Daddy!” she said.

“Hello, angel!” he returned. “How are you?”

She started jabbering away to him. Adam leaned over to you.

“Goddamn, Y/N!” he whispered. “That’s her dad?”

“Long story,” you said. “But no, her biological father isn’t in the picture. It’s sort of funny she just called him Daddy one day and it stuck.”

Adam glanced at the phone, where you both got a glimpse of Gwilym smiling at Violet.

“Shit, I’d call him Daddy too,” Adam muttered.

You snorted and burst into a fit of giggles.

“Adam!” you scolded playfully. “You’re taken! And so is he!”

“I can look at the menu without ordering!” he argued, laughing.

You enjoyed your breakfast, keeping Gwilym on the phone so it was like he was there with you. You missed him so much. You longed to reach over and take his hand. To feel his warmth and affection.

You could tell he wanted to ask you again about the reference to the letters, but it wasn’t a good time with Violet and Adam there. He was clearly disappointed when you did have to hang up and start with your day.

“Okay, so your first order of business is the movie role your agent has sent you…” Adam checked his laptop. “Four emails about. Literally in the last half hour.”

“Yeah, she’s pushy,” you sighed, picking up the plates to put them in the sink.

“People stop doing that when you answer them, you know,” he returned.

You bit your lip. While it was tempting, the movie would begin shooting in Los Angeles within the year, and you weren’t sure where you’d be. You hoped you’d be in London, where your heart was.

“Turn it down,” you said.

“Are you sure?” he questioned, blinking with surprise. “It’s a big role.”

“I don’t have time,” you said with a shrug. “There are more important things I want to focus on.”

“Alright, I’ll let her know,” he assured you, already typing his message.

You smiled. It felt right. You needed to start thinking about what your future with Gwilym would look like. For you, he was also the one person you couldn’t imagine your life without. And thankfully, you wouldn’t be without him for much longer.

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readersguidetotheuniverse · 4 years

Photo

The Guest List, by Lucy Folley

More P.O.V.’s = more reliable narrator(s)?

Alicia: For me, part of the appeal of a thriller or crime novel lies in having an unreliable narrator. The less the reader knows about the characters the better, especially to create suspense and have them wondering who could be the killer until the very end. In this novel, we receive too much information right from the get go. That almost makes this novel a drama more than a thriller per se, cause there is very little room for thrill or surprise with that many points of view. And there's a reason why thrillers don't usually have many narrators: it doesn't work.

Marina: What I usually enjoy most about suspense/mystery novels is actually not knowing anything about the different characters that come into play when there’s a murder. I think by giving the reader different points of view throughout the novel Folley changes the theme: it is no longer a mystery it’s become a family drama. I admit it still got me with the different secrets (see below) but it didn’t feel like a mystery, which is what I was expecting when we picked this book.

Ari: I agree with Marina here, it was exactly what I was thinking for the first half of the book: ‘This is a family drama’. I don’t like how Foley jumps from character to character: it is messy and some chapters don’t even move the plot forward at all. Besides, it felt the narrative was too much on Jules’ side (bride, bridesmaid, and wife of her best friend), even though in the end it isn’t, and all the feminine characters sound so much the same I even kept confusing Hannah and Olivia’s chapters. Metaphorically speaking, reading this book felt like watching an Alexander Calder sculpture, different shapes and colors spinning without much of a sense until you look at the big picture.

Stereotypes

Alicia: I don't mind a stereotype here and there but this book has maybe one too many. The whole haunted castle/mansion thing is a bit overdone but okay, I'll take it. Then there's a graveyard. And a mysterious dangerous cave. Lore about death. Fog. A storm. A power cut. Even a 'ghost' at some point! I thought it was too much and too shoehorned and even a tad too obvious. If the story is good and it's well written, you don't need to add so many extra elements of suspense. The actual plot should be enough.

Marina: Oh my God! So many stereotypes! To be honest it got boring by page… I don’t know 20? Same thing as before, I enjoy discovering the little secrets on my own as I read the novel so having the symbology be described by the different narrators felt forced. “Oh, look, a cormoran! Those forebond murder you know!” Like, no s*** Sherlock. Or the whole spiel with the churches being haunted, it just wasn’t for me.

Ari: I have almost twenty notes (kid you not) marking things I found way too straightforward for a novel of this genre. The birds, the graveyard, the church in which they marry being in ruins... Even characters thinking ‘This place has made me think of death” a day before the wedding even happens. Come on, are you kidding me? Are readers of thrillers so dull and narrowminded that the writer needs to make these “mysterious hints” so bloody obvious? Even the style in writing was too obvious and direct that it felt there was almost no real mystery whatsoever, being everything so unambiguous.

Secrets/motives

Alicia: While it does make sense that you need many different motives for the 'everyone wanted to kill him but who did it' concept to work, these seem incredibly forced. There are just so many coincidences I am willing to accept. There's Johnno who discovers he basically fucked him over, which is an acceptable excuse. Charlie had a traumatic experience because of him, alright. Then it starts to get messy when you find out he's the guy that Olivia had a 'relationship' with for a while before he disappeared once she told him she got pregnant. I mean, dating and marrying Jules after dating her sister is sketchy enough already. Then turns out that he's also the one responsible for the suicide of Hannah's sister? And the boy that died because of him is Aoife's brother? It got to a point where these motives were too random and too exact at the same time that it got almost too ridiculous to be taken seriously and I lost all interest I had left.

Marina: I have to admit I didn’t really think about who was going to be murdered because I kept expecting the “past” scenes to be over and thought there would be a longer “now” narrative (spoiler: there wasn’t). That being said, Wouldn’t it have been way more dramatic if there had been, i don’t know, clues or something more tangible to tie everything up together? I guess I always imagine a detective character figuring everything out, I really like to follow their train of thought and how they get to the final suspects/motives. In the end, the reveal of the murderess wasn’t even that shocking, we all knew who had killed him, we all wanted Will dead, big f***ing deal. I usually really enjoy being surprised by the different plot twists but, even though I didn’t expect them, I looked forward to them because otherwise it was a bit boring.

Ari: It was clear to me who was going to be murdered from the first chapters. It was not until the second half of the book that the secrets and motives came to light (once you detangled one, the others came rather easily) and they seemed far too “coincidentally” aligned to be believable. The one I did not expect, though, was the most crucial, that I have to give to the book. But it kind of annoyed me that, having had all the drama develop so slowly and erratically during the first half of the book, this particular secret motive wasn’t even explained at all, like a Deus-ex-machina-ed subplot to catch the reader by surprise (pst, not worth it!).

Plotholes

Alicia: I try to overlook plot holes in every book I read, especially if they're details that are kind of insignificant to the story. I understand that it's not easy to create a complex story out of thin air and many novels have plot holes, it's okay, I can look the other way. This book is no exception. The difference is there are too many plot holes for me to ignore all of them. Did seriously no one recognize Freddy? What happens after Will's body is found? It's literally his wedding, his family and friends are there but we barely see a reaction. What's the point of the seaweed in the bed? Charlie, Hannah, Olivia and Jules don't really get closure, we don't get to see much of them after the wedding or what we see is pointless. Does Johnno come forward about what he has and hasn't done? What about the rest of the guests? There are many questions I don't get answers to and it kind of annoys me.

Marina: My biggest concern with the whole plot is that it kept going back and forward to explain the connection between the characters and at times it felt very forced. In the end, this turned out to be some petty revenge novel to kill someone who was indeed very cruel and self-centered. But if you want me to read it tell me that on the first place, I would rather read a book about a would-be-murderess and how she’s going to kill a guy that has ruined so many people’s lives than what I actually read.

Ari: How the hell did Will not realise who Olivia was? Even though she didn’t introduce him to Jules at the party, they must have been there long enough to at least see Jules from afar. And he may have realised at some early point that Jules’ flat was where he met ‘Belle’... And how come the Trevellyan gang did not recognise Fatfuck? Not even the headmaster!

The ‘disappointing’ end

Alicia: The biggest issue for me with the end is that the build-up until the murder is enormous, the actual murder is not interesting or elaborate enough and then the conclusion is very short and insufficient. 300 pages for the different backstories, 5 pages for the murder and 10 pages for a resolution. If you give us 5 or 6 characters' backstories with complex issues and then completely ignore these characters once the murder has happened, this is just not enough and not okay. The climax happens too late and it's barely a climax and the aftermath is almost nonexistent. Feels rushed and poorly executed. I was seriously underwhelmed.

Marina: Look I’m going to give Folley a little bit of a leeway. If what she wrote as the “murder” (I’m sorry I can’t even call it murder) was, say, in the middle of the action, the reader would have gotten the experience of at least going through a bit of the aftermath of that death. Instead we get a rushed 10-15 pages about the different characters which, to be completely honest, was underwhelming to say the least.

Ari: As I said before, I didn’t much like the unexpected ending, as it seemed pulled out of thin air, and all the building up of the previous 300 or so pages was somehow worthless in the solving of the mystery. Therefore, all of the sub-plots regarding other characters were left unresolved, but not in a good “let the reader reflect on them” manner, but as in “I have to finish the book and I don’t have enough pages”. What about Olivia’s abortion? Jules doesn’t even know about it. How is Jules going to react to the murder, the night of her wedding? What happens between Hannah and Charlie? It surely has put Hanna’s life upside down, to have discovered the why’s of her sister’s death. Does Johnno get blamed for everything, without any defence, as a pay-up for the death of Loner? And more important, what about Frank and Aoife, did they marry just because of their past? Did Aoife bargain the wedding just as a way to get revenge? Too many plot holes in this fast-paced wrap-up.

Unmet expectations

Alicia: I had very high expectations about this book, I was truly really excited about it. It has good ratings, an apparently really interesting plot, it has been listed in some great book clubs... It looked very promising. Until I started reading. There are many reasons why this book was disappointing, explained in the different topics above. For me it's simple. It's almost inconceivable that a book that's marketed as a crime novel about a murder in a wedding won't actually tell you that there has been a murder and who has died until almost 300 pages in, with close to no real resolution afterwards. It's bordering false advertising.

Marina: I kept expecting for the murder to happen and every time I thought “here we go!” it was just another scene from the wedding, which to be honest wasn’t even that interesting. If you think about this book being a wedding retelling it might be a bit more accurate than actually saying it’s a mystery. I wanted to be kept at the edge of my seat by what was going to happen next! I just don’t get how this book got so hyped up for the mystery part!

Ari: We chose this book from the June releases because all of us thought a good thriller would spice up our readings, and it was chosen as the book of the month in Reese’s book club, which made me think it had to be especially good. I read reviews comparing Foley’s writing to Agatha Christie’s and, as much as I can see the parallels between The Guest List and Christie’s novels like The Orient Express (many characters having motive to kill ONE other very-mean character) or And then there were none (character murdering many for their offences to them… on a deserted island), I don’t think it is even slightly fair to compare the writing of the two. And here speaking someone who was disappointed by The Orient Express’ way too much ‘divine intervention’ solving.

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zoe-oneesama · 5 years

Note

Do you help new miraculous content creators if they ask you for tips? Also, do you have any Fix with stormy weather 2? #I really think that I didn’t do the question properly #I apologize if I am rude

I try to help when I can, if I don’t respond to a question it’s because 1) I’m in a bad place to answer (at break at work/on the road/just about to go to sleep etc) 2) I’ve already answered a similar question, or 3) I’m thinking out my answer.

Or like THIS ask I had it ¾ typed out and then switched tabs and accidentally closed this one and lost all that I had typed alkdsjflajsdflka

Now for fixing Stormy Weather 2. Well first I have to rip it a new asshole (and maybe a third asshole to go above the second one) and then I’ll try to salvage it. Whooo this is gonna be a long one, so strap in:

1. Resolve your damn Akuma. This means two things. First, you can’t bring back a fan favorite akuma, ramp up the drama to Earth Leaves Orbit levels of intensity, and then defeat her off screen somewhere with a reporter (a reporter with a repeat name which is one of my pet peeves akdsjfalkd) giving us a vague play by play! Or you can, but it’s incredibly unsatisfying especially in an already unsatisfying episode. Second, resolve Aurore. Aurore was shafted on having a complete arc in her debut episode (she never apologizes to Mireille or has a moment of guilt for reacting to losing so poorly) so when I heard they were bringing her back, I hoped for some closure for her. It wasn’t such a big deal in Stormy Weather because she wasn’t a reoccurring character and we were establishing formula, but now she literally has a second episode named after her, so we’ll get some resolution, right? Nope. What was Aurore’s problem in this episode? If you asked Aurore, it’s struggling to balance Work and School. Yet it wasn’t the stress from this that brought on her akuma. It was Chloe insulting her akumasona and insisting that she hasn’t changed and of course Once a Villain, Always a Villain. It’s Chloe’s voice in her head saying things that have nothing to do with Aurore’s root problem that turn her. And we don’t even see Aurore at the end of the episode, so for all we know, she still harbors those insecurities. Bonus: Why was so much of Aurore’s set up confusing? Is Aurore the weather girl now? When did that happen? She works at the station?? Are we missing an episode??? Is this like Guitar Villain where they fucked up an episode order???

How to fix this? Well first of all, make Aurore’s problems actually relevant to what Chloe is driving at. Start with Aurore becoming the new Weather Girl. Mireille has stepped down, she either didn’t like it or her contract ran out. So Aurore is stepping up to the plate. She’s happy but super nervous. She admits Mireille was really good and won her spot fair and square, she’s going to be a tough act to follow. But Aurore thinks she’s got what it takes. Chloe disagrees. She lays into Aurore about how she’s the runner up, the loser and that hasn’t changed. People will be disappointed to see her instead of Mireille, shes’s just as unpopular and just as unwanted as before. She Hasn’t Changed.

So Stormy Weather is born. And no volcanoes dammit, something weather related, thanks! Tornadoes, Cyclones, Hurricanes, hell yes! And she’s defeated. On screen please. At least the part where they release the akuma.

When Aurore wakes up, she’s afraid. She’s scared that everything Chloe said was right. She even became the same villain she was before. But she’s reassured “You’re not the same. You’ve come so far. Didn’t you praise Mireille for working hard? Didn’t you acknowledge your flaws but worked to overcome them? You’re so different from who you were before. You’ve made so much effort to be better than before.”

And when Chloe tries to rip into Aurore again, have someone remind them she’s been akumatized too, Antibug. “Oh, I’m sorry, I meant Queen Wasp. Wait, which name are you going by this time?”

2. Keep on theme. One wouldn’t think this should be hard but OOOOH BOY. The theme of the episode is People Can Change. (And obviously that their character have changed, but we’ll get there) We know this because the Bad characters (Chloe and Hawkmoth) both state that “People don’t change” and “Once a Villain, Always a Villain” which is a pretty basic way of setting up the theme. Have the Bad characters state the antithesis of the theme, have the Good characters struggle with whether or not the Bad characters are right. Then come to the conclusion that, no, the Bad characters are wrong, or they’re right, but not in the way they think they are.

Yet they have flashbacks that contradict each other (Sabrina remembering Chloe using the Miraculous for Good, but Ladybug remembering Chloe using the Miraculous for Bad), we have flashbacks that show no change at all (literally when has Ladybug and Chat Noir had difficulty fighting together when an akuma’s power wasn’t involved?) and most egregious, Adrien unknowingly aligns himself with the Bad characters by complimenting Ladybug by saying “She never changes”. So unless this is setting him up to join Hawkmoth (in which case this might be the most clever the writing has ever been and I will eat my words) they fucked up. The theme is all over the place. Is change good? Bad? Unobtainable? Can people change or do they not? What is it they’re trying to say with this episode???

Fix: Simple. Consider the message your flashbacks are ACTUALLY saying. And cut the ones that don’t support your theme. Don’t put contradicting flashbacks next to each other (better yet don’t have contradicting flashbacks at all). Eliminate flashbacks that don’t show change at all (the LadyNoir fights. If you still want fights, how about FIGHTING THE AKUMA IN FRONT OF YOU.) And have Adrien compliment Ladybug because she’s constantly improving. “She just gets better and better. Everyday she surprises me by being even more innovative and even more incredible.” Something sappy like that. Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy. If the Bad Guys insist that People Don’t Change, you gotta prove to the Good Guys and US that People Do. Unless this is a bleak, Oh Shit the Bad Guys are Right kind of Episode. …but Thomas’ twitter seems to suggest it was the former they were going for.

3. The Flashbacks. OoooooOOoh the Flashbacks. In this section I’m just going to discuss how they’re used as a literary device. There’s too many of them, they contribute nothing, and they run out air time. They don’t even flow naturally. The point of a flashback is to add to a characters backstory or unveil a hidden truth to the audience. But none of the flashbacks used do this except for Nathalie’s and possibly the first DJWifi one, which was so blissfully short it’s almost in a different category of narrative device. With her exception (which is only an exception because of her narration, other wise it would be just as bad as the rest of them), the flashbacks come in with shaky prompting, they don’t give a new insight to an event from a new POV or even new animation, they don’t help any of the characters come to a sudden realization, they don’t add new information, they Do. Nothing. Let’s look at them one by one:

Marinette remembers the time she dug Adrien’s Valentine out of the trash. Prompted by: Her talking to Tikki about not being able to talk to Adrien.

Nathalie remembers times she interacted with the Agreste’s with narration about her growing feelings. Prompted by: Taking notes for Gabriel.

Two Clips of Gabriel being a Douche. Prompted by: Nooroo wondering if maybe Gabriel should stop being a Douche.

One Clip of Adrien jumping out of an akumas hand. Prompted by: Hawkmoth wondering if he’s going to far…and then immediately dismissing the idea.

A few Clips of Plagg guzzling cheese. Prompted by: Plagg insisting he hasn’t changed because he still loves cheese. That checks out.

Adrien remembering going to school and gaining friends. Prompted by: Plagg insisting Adrien has changed his own life.

Adrien remembering the two times Gabriel did the barest minimum to not suck. And also the birthday gift he didn’t actually give Adrien. Prompted by: Plagg of ALL people insisting that Gabriel has changed too.

Nino and Alya remembering the time they were locked in a cage and given Miraculous. Also how Nino sucks at hiding his identity. Prompted by: The two of them discussing how they even got together.

Clips of just a few of the many many times Chloe has been a Douche. Prompted by: Chloe insisting no one is nicer than her…

Clips of one time Chloe followed a direct order from Ladybug and from when Chloe was Queen Bee. But like on purpose that time. Prompted by: Sabrina trying to hype up how great Chloe is.

Clips of Chat Noir and Ladybug fighting akumas (including Queen Wasp) and getting new powers and trusting each other more. Prompted by: Ladybug thinking Stormy Weather is stronger, but so are they.

Remembering Chat Noir setting up a date for Ladybug and Ladybug having to reject him. Prompted by: Plagg OF ALL people insisting Ladybug’s not so great because she has feelings for someone else ajlskdfjalsdfja

Adrien remembering when he first got that heart shaped card and thinking it was from ladybug. Prompted by: You know…looking at that card? And also looking at Marinette’s handwritting.

Adrien remembering Marinette deflecting the idea that she was into him. Prompted by: Thinking maybe the card could be from Marinette.

Adrien remembering Luka and Marinette on their ice rink date. Prompted by: More deflecting the idea that Marinette could be into Adrien because one time she went on a date with a boy.

This is also the flashback they chose to end on.

So ….that’s a lot of flashbacks. Some of them are barely there, some drag out way past their welcome. Some are actually well utilized, but some are just terribly implemented. Example: Nino narrating over the clip of Ladybug throwing them into the panther’s cage that that was the moment he and Alya “got together”? Good! It’s short, and even though we kind of knew that was the moment, now we have Nino confirming that that was the beginning of canon DJWifi. Not world shattering revelation, but it is something. Alya remembering them becoming heroes? Bad. It’s way too long, including both of their transformation sequences, and plays exactly as it did in Heroes Day. And why show us this? Did they think we? Forgot? That Nino and Alya are sometimes heroes??

The reason the flashbacks are particularly irritating, is because we don’t need them. Why couldn’t Plagg just remind Adrien about Gabriel playing piano with him with dialogue? Why’d we need to be shown it? Why did Marinette go from lamenting her inability to talk to Adrien to reading the Valentine? When thinking about “going too far” why can Hawkmoth only think of one time Adrien was in danger, when there were several times that he could’ve summed up with “Am I risking the family I have for the family I could have?” It’s excessive and wasteful. And it feels like they don’t think we’re smart enough to remember things. There are ways to get their point across that doesn’t kill air time and pacing but they went this incredibly lazy route. And maybe this would be forgivable if there wasn’t an agenda behind the flashbacks.

4. The Agenda Behind the Flashbacks. We all see what your doing, Thomas. You’re not sneaky. Soooo many people were criticizing you for having unmoving characters that you threw up your hands and said “You wanna see character growth?! I’ll show you some Goddamn Character Growth!” But you didn’t. You did the opposite. You isolated a few tiny examples for your argument but forgot the other 40+ episodes of evidence pointing to the contrary. But we didn’t forget. Noooo we did not. So let’s go character by character to see how they “changed” and how they MOST CERTAINLY have not.

Well, okay, so the first example is a bad example of what I just said, because they did the opposite with her. They started the “struggle” of whether or not characters change with Marinette of all people. Marinette, who’s become more confident, more clever, more sympathetic, more sacrificing. Marinette, who not just from Origins but from within the show itself has had to overcome her jealousy issues and her insecurities, learn to stand up to scarier and scarier adversaries. Marinette, the one character who actually HAS changed. And they focused on the fact she can’t talk to her crush about her feelings.

You know, that crush that repeatedly refers to her as “JUST” a friend, who wrote a Valentine to some mystery girl she doesn’t know, who asked for advice on how to ask out another girl. Yeah, it’s really wild that Marinette hasn’t made strides in this department. But it’s okay, because Marinette has made HUGE steps in this very episode! She signed her note this time! She’s practically a WhOlE nEw PeRsOn!

You had it. You had the perfect character to show how much “change” you’ve had. And you didn’t. Use it. O_O

I won’t harp on Nathalie too much. They seem determined to insist she’s fully devoted to the Agreste family and it’s hard to argue that point thanks to this episode and her personal narration. Though every episode until this I had a pretty good This is Bullshit Argument going. So instead I’ll just say it came from nowhere, but go off I guess.

They use Plagg, PLAGG OF ALL CHARACTERS (I’m still not over that, what the fuck) to insist that Gabriel is changing for the better. Gabriel. GABRIEL. The guy who’s actually gotten WORSE over the series! The guy who USED to let Adrien go to races and game tournaments and Mime shows in season 1, but NOW won’t let Adrien go and get ice cream or see fireworks or his friend’s band practice in season 2! THAT GUY is getting better because he eventually let Adrien go meet with his friends?! Because he LET his son watch a movie with his own mother in it?! THAT GUY is changing for the better?!?!?! I see what you’re trying to set up and your WRONG!!!!!

Every example they used for how much Adrien’s life has changed, every two things they brought up, happened in the first episode. That’s not growth, that’s a fucking starting point. Adrien began the series going to school, he began the series getting new friends. But we all know why they had to go with those options. Because Adrien hasn’t grown at all and all this episode did was put a huuuuuge spot light on that fact. Thank you for just proving that point by only thinking of two things that have changed for him that literally happened in the First. Episode. I could think of a few things that have changed, but they’re definitely not flattering. *cough* Nice Guy™ *cough*

Apparently the only things that have changed for Nino and Alya is that they’re a couple and they’re superheroes. Well, I guess thanks for pointing out that they’ve been stagnant from the beginning. How boring. Maybe if a character hasn’t changed for good or bad, don’t waste screen time on it in an episode about how characters change???

And Chloe. Holy HELL Chloe. The only way Chloe even remotely works is if this episode is a set up for the fact that Chloe failed. If she’s not redeemed and they’re acknowledging it. If she’s not going to be added to the hero roster in the future and she’s getting more and more furious about it. She’s back in top form in this episode. She bullies Aurore with no prompting and with the intention of continuing her onslaught had Aurore not escaped, is a total hypocrite, is entitled about the bee Miraculous, and unrepentant the whole time. She’s back to her Season 1 self, but every fear I had with her getting everything she wanted came true. And if this was the episode they wanted to own it? I’d be fine.

I mean, I know like a huge part of the fandom wouldn’t be fine, but at least it would make a modicum of sense. Here Lies Chloe’s Development, 2k18-2k19.

Yet….they kind of tried to say different? Like, what was Chloe’s screen time devoted to? First, Bullying Aurore, then Marinette, then Alya even though she didn’t say anything to her. Then, she’s on her roof, shining her Bee Light in the sky and stomping her foot demanding her Miraculous, insisting she’s the Nicest, Best person for the job. We are then treated to clips of Chloe threatening the Principal to get out of cleanup for pulling the fire alarm, something Chloe did, and Chloe ignoring Sabrina’s very existence. Then they try to backtrack on that with clips of Chloe helping Ladybug in Despair Bear and being Queen Bee, as if to say “well, she got better.” Then Stormy Weather arrives and Chloe digs in her heels and says for the second time “Once a Villain, Always a Villain.” Then we’re shown a clip of Ladybug and Char Noir fighting Queen Wasp, Chloe’s second VILLAIN form! Eventually Chloe is released from her ice prison but with zero gratitude, saying “Queen Bee would’ve been faster and better.” Chloe’s time was devoted to giving us tonal whiplash and ping ponging between “Chloe’s Terrible!” to “Chloe’s a Hero!” Except they keep lingering on the Terrible part.

I’m just confused, because this could work. I swear it can. If the whole point of this is that Chloe’s redemption failed? This all makes sense. Chloe’s “good” points are brought up by Sabrina, a biased untrustworthy narrator. And it can actually be a good set up for future episodes where Chloe is not given the bee and is getting more and more angry about it, especially because she was foolish enough to share her identity so her peers are ribbing her about it. The only problem with this is the let down for all the people rooting for Chloe. Lot’s of people were hoping Chloe would become worthy of the Bee, and while lots and lots and LOTs were let down by the Battles of the Queens, some were still holding out hope. So this would definitely kill the vibe for those people. Personally, while I’m confused at least this route would make some sense. So I’ll…hold my judgement on this bit. I will tell you when it first came out I was really pissed at it though.

Plagg isn’t being screwed over by the flashbacks themselves, he’s just screwed over by the dialogue. Plagg who’s always tried to get Adrien to be a little selfish with his time is now defending Gabriel-No-Fun-Allowed Agreste? Plagg who was the first to point out Ladybug never said she’d show up for the picnic is now using this as a reason why Ladybug isn’t all that great? Yeah, miss me with that OOC bullshit, bring me back my son.

I think that’s all the characters they went for, so okay. How do we fix this. How do we fix anything with these flashbacks.

Fix this by using flashbacks as they are intended. Each flashback needs to include a new piece of information, either for the audience or for the characters speaking. For Marinette’s first flashback, instead of playing the whole thing, show Marinette reading the Valentine with narration how at the time she thought it was for her, but she now realizes it was meant for someone else. That’s new information for the audience. For Adrien, maybe the fact that he can’t think of how he’s changed is a good thing. It can be a spark for him deciding to be better, to train harder and become more serious about his job. Nothing will change until he puts in the effort. That can help a moral of the episode: That People Can Change, but Only Through Honest Effort.

Dig in with Gabriel = Bad. I know they’re trying to make Gabriel more sympathetic by making it out like he’s improving, but they’re just wrong. He’s not. Not unless he does a near 180 in this season. So instead of making him think of that one time Adrien was in danger, give him flashes, quick, rapid flashes of innocent people in danger. Nathaniel screaming when Horrificator grabs him, cars crashing because Backwarder sent that woman into the crosswalk, Kim and Max running from Animan as a panther. Show all the people he doesn’t know, how far he ACTUALLY has gone for his goals. And then have him shake it off. We already know he doesn’t care about Adrien’s safety or else Gorizilla wouldn’t have happened at all. This shows us that he doesn’t care about people in general. Like the DJWifi flashback, we could infer this, but this makes the audience have to think about it and makes it about Gabriel’s character.

Have Chloe argue her worthiness with someone else. Maybe Stormy Weather.

“Ooh Chloe, what’s wrong? No one came to give you a Miraculous? Maybe they realized that you didn’t deserve it.”

“Excuse you?! I am the nicest person ever! Of COURSE I deserve it!”

“Wasn’t so nice of you to pull the fire alarm and try to frame Marinette. Wasn’t so nice of you to pretend your best friend didn’t exist!”

“How dare you?! I’ll have you know Ladybug never could’ve defeated Despair Bear without me! And she’s constantly relied on me as Queen Bee!”

“Was that before or after you crashed that train? Or maybe it was after you turned your own father into an akuma! What was it you told me earlier? Once a Villain, Always a Villain? Well, you would know Queen Wasp!”

You don’t need a flashback to recall a scene from earlier in the series. If you did, every series would be filled with them. Typically a series has enough faith in their audience that they’ll remember a line or moment or object without having to devote screen time to showing it to us the exact same way they did the first time. So replace some with verbal call backs or with a quick flash of the previous moment. Instead of showing the full flashback of Adrien reading the Valentine out loud to Plagg, just show a flash of it drifting next to him and his eyes landing on it. Instead of showing the entire time Luka and Marinette were together at the rink, flash between their faces and him holding her hand and their lift in rapid succession. It helps the pacing and doesn’t steal focus from the fact that it’s Adrien remembering this. And of course, get rid of flashbacks that don’t add anything. We didn’t need to see every characters transformation to remember they’re heroes or villains. We don’t need to see CN and LB kick several akumas asses to remember they fight well together. We don’t need to see Adrien sneaking into school or being surrounded by his peers to remember he goes to school now and has friends.

TLDR: Start with Aurore becoming the new weather girl, nervous to follow what she admit’s is Mireille’s very impressive lead. Chloe antagonizes Aurore over being the runner up and that her lack of popularity hasn’t changed. Aurore worries that Chloe’s right and that she’ll be unwanted even though she’s worked hard to compete with Mireille. She becomes Stormy Weather.

Marinette notes maybe Chloe’s right about Adrien (mentions that she thought his Valentine was for her but realizes now it was meant for someone else). But then she and Tikki talk about how she’s improved - confidence, controls her jealousy, is more assertive towards adults. Switch to Agreste Mansion, everything plays same as episode up to Gabriel turning into Hawkmoth (maybe skip transformation. Might leave it because it’s only the second time we’ve seen it).

Hawkmoth wonders if Nooroo’s right about going too far, has a series of quick flashes to all the people he’s terrorized, but comes to the conclusion there’s no going back now. In Adrien’s room, Plagg is saying he likes when people don’t change and talks about his cheese fetish. Adrien insists that change is the only way for things to improve. Plagg tries to insist that Adrien’s life has changed, but Adrien admits that was just the first step and he hasn’t done much to challenge his life since then. Plagg tries to bring up some changes with Gabriel, but every positive is challenged with a negative from Adrien. He played piano with me? He didn’t let me see the fireworks with my friends. He let me see my mom’s movie? Only after I was nearly squashed by an akuma which would’ve been avoided if he let me go to the movies in the first place. etc.

Stormy Weather makes herself known. She’s blowing the city away with tornadoes. Alya and Nino are huddled talking about how Hawkmoth seems to be getting worse. But they admit their lives are different thanks to him or rather thanks to Ladybug inadvertently bringing them together. They also talk about the other time they’ve been together (sitting together, getting ice cream, when he tried to protect her in Anansi). Then Nora and the girls crowd them into the living room away from the windows where it’s dangerous and they huddle together, Nora making sure to include Nino who’s earned her trust.

Chloe’s shining her light in the sky and getting frustrated. As she starts to whine about where Ladybug is with her miraculous, Stormy Weather appears and teases Chloe for being left out, which Chloe counters with how great she is. Stormy list the “nice things” Chloe’s done (pulling the alarm and ignoring Sabrina) and Chloe fires back she’s worked with Ladybug. Stormy continues to taunt Chloe for the awful things she did with the Miraculous and calls her Queen Wasp before freezing her. Then the battle with Ladybug and Chat Noir begins.

Clara (who is not Clara btw they used the wrong model look it up in the wiki) can still give the play by play, but this is because the fight is happening in the distance. We still see Ladybug and Chat Noir fighting against Stormy Weather, but it’s so far away we can’t hear the banter or see the details. We’re getting the Parisian Civilian Experience of an Akuma fight, which is unclear but still in plain view. The fight ends with a similar but slightly altered version of what took down Stormy Weather down the first time and Ladybug cleanses the akuma.

Ladybug takes Aurore down to the ground level (convienitently in front of the TV Station). Aurore feels upset about becoming an akuma, the same akuma as before, and thinks it’s proof that Chloe was right - that she hasn’t changed. But Ladybug reassures her that she knows Aurore has worked really hard and she knows she’s become a better person since the first time they met. Aurore is confused how Ladybug could possibly know that but luckily her timer is running low so she and Chat Noir bounce.

Marinette leaves the notes for Adrien, this goes the same as in canon. When Tikki praises Marinette, she says “I’ve changed in so many ways, I can change here too.”

In his room, Adrien sighs over how Ladybug only ever seems to improve, only gets more and more clever and amazing. Plagg reminds him that she may be great but she’s got her sights set on someone else and maybe it’s time he does the same, bringing out the fancards. Adrien tells Plagg “It’s not that simple. Even if I wanted to change my mind, the heart wants what it wants. I can’t stop loving someone as simple as that. But I can become better. Ladybug’s always improving herself so maybe it’s time I do the same. I need to keep up with her example.”

Nathalie drops off Marinette’s notes. Adrien has a quick flash of when he first lays eyes on the “Ladybug” Valentine before comparing the handwritting on both, remarking that they’re very similar. He thinks back to the moment Marinette stuttered through that she’s into fashion and doesn’t think of him that way (and JUST that part, we don’t need the whole thing jesus) and says “She already said she doesn’t love me. There’s no way this is from her…right? Besides, there’s…(quick flashes of Luka and Marinette having fun at the ice rink) Luka.”

Resigned, he says “There’s no way it’s from Marinette.”

#I need you to know #this took over 3 hours to write #I was serious about this one #O.o #ml #miraculous ladybug #stormy weather 2 #rewrite #ask zoe #my opinion #chloe salt #adrien salt #gabriel salt #plagg salt #ml salt #ALSO PLEASE NO ONE SEND THIS TO THOMAS LIKE THEY DID PURRINCESSCHAT'S POST #stormy weather 2 salt

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