#already calling my boyfriend

[vaxxy-the-raven]

14 year old me deserved better

we shouldn't have been bullied, our parents shouldn't have emotionally neglected us, we shouldn't have been allowed free reign on the internet

i have irreversible trauma all because my parents didn't understand the difference between giving shelter & food to someone and real parenting

i felt abandoned and unloved and pushed away and hated

i felt utterly worthless to, and unwanted by, the very people who had fought to have me

my parents went through IVF to have me, you know, and yet my whole life I've never really felt loved or wanted by them

i ended up so alone and scared i fell into an older person's trap and was hurt in ways that i didn't understand back then

i felt so broken and discarded, like i truly had nothing left to give to anyone else

it really fucked me up

i understand how this all happened and it sickens me

i hate that some parents hate their children and hurt them internationally, i hate that some parents don't know love and therefore can't give it to their own children in the future

i hate that people refuse to accept that girls can be evil and predatory, i hate that we treat victims as criminals even if they "followed every rule"

its no wonder i gave up on my education in the end

its no wonder i stopped living

im stuck and I feel helpless

i was talking to people, I was getting help, I was making progress (and technically i still am but not in ways that truly help in the long run) but it got too overwhelming and i just fucking shut down again

i feel trapped in a body that doesn't belong to me

it never did and never will

i feel trapped in a cycle of anger and sadness and sickness and exhaustion

5 10 15 20 25 30

i feel so fucking stuck

so fucking done

i woke up at 6am today and i couldn't fall back asleep

i trued writing it off, literally by writing fanfiction, and I've refreshed tumblr and twitter so many times since I woke up that in kind of sick of them

its now 8am and I feel dead

but not energy wise

just emotionally unwound

I'll probably feel better after i have some water and talk to my boyfriend, knowing me

but i wanted to talk about how just fucked everything feels

i feel like a vase someone smashed into smithereens and that was put back together with paper mache and string

her name kills me almost every time I see or hear it now

i think i might hate myself less than her these days, honestly

she stole my innocence and my trust and my childish love

she robbed me of a colour, of a book series, of a movie, of a flower and of so much more

she probably doesn't even remember me anymore, if she's still alive after everything

i don't know what I'd prefer

5 10 15 20 25 30

would i rather she got help and found love and happiness?

would i rather the opposite?

i feel too tired to care

she's not the last, nor am i certain she was truly the first

but she ruined me in ways nobody else could dream to

she left a sickness in my veins that i cant get rid of

its almost become lovely

i would miss it if it were gone

the hate is ugly and hisses, but i take comfort in its heat

maybe i am broken, maybe she broke me, maybe

i woke up today with terrible thoughts of things i dont want to do to myself or to others

thats fucked up

i can't remember if i was always like this or if she did this

maybe its both

5 10 15 20 25 30

all i know is that im tired

i want to stop hurting

i want to stop being scared

i want to stop being angry

i want to stop being sad

i want to stop being so tired

i just want to live and love

i love people, i do

i hate feeling such strong hatred that im not so sure is even really my own

i just want to be happy

i feel sick

#im safe #i just need to vent #already calling my boyfriend #please don't worry #just brain busy must yell #cw whatever the fuck this is #how do i tag this shit #triggering content #is this the ocd or the trauma? is it both? (: #vent #aaaaaaaaaa #cw child neglect #cw intrusive thoughts #cw grooming #i guess??? feels wrong to me but i think?? #im so fucking tired #will probably delete later

[ingravinoveritas]

All of the shows and movies Michael has been in, and he sees this and immediately thinks of GO and David. Let me live, please...

#michael sheen #welsh seduction machine #david tennant #soft scottish hipster gigolo #good omens 2 #the way they bring each other up when the other isn't around is everything #cue Kylie's 'Can't Get You Out of My Head' playing somewhere in the distance #michael is about as subtle as a drunken llama on roller skates #method acting by falling in love with David Tennant #just call him your boyfriend already Michael #we all support you #bless #ineffable lovers #i need to lie down now

[nocturnalazure]

#ts3 #sims 3 #sims 3 story #sims stories #tteot story #liang wong #shu wong #laurie golzine #bjorn carlsen #i made an executive decision to rename 'alex' to 'bjorn' #he's called 'the dane' so it had to be some sort of scandinavian sounding #so i gave him the name of my roommate's boyfriend when i lived in denmark xD #i forgot that i already had an alex in my story - stella's husband #no one cares because no one remembers who alex/bjorn was xD #laurie arc

[hoffmanstits-enjoyer]

"kill them with kindness" WRONG. PUPPETTEER THEIR ASS 🐷💥🐷💥🐷💥🐷💥🐷💥🐷💥🐷💥🐷💥🐷💥🐷💥🐷💥🐷💥🐷💥🐷💥🐷💥🐷💥🐷💥🐷💥🐷💥🐷💥🐷💥🐷💥🐷💥🐷💥🐷💥🐷💥🐷🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸🩸

#acab pookie did it again!!!! nobody tell his boyfriend #who am i kidding he knows #zeke fr: if you see my man on the news DO NOT. CALL ME!!!! i already know 🙄🙄🙄 #william schenk #spiral from the book of saw #spiralposting #sawposting #saw memes

[wisteria-wanderlust]

GUYS ITS LITERALLY THEM

#aphmau #mystreet #zane mystreet #nana mystreet #zanechan #wanderlust wonderings #they’re literally boyfriends #(yes I’m calling them boyfriends bc me and my actual boyfriend r literally them shhh don’t worry abt it) #is this a low effort post that someone’s probably already made before? yes. do I care? not really no lol #I have a really bad headache rn and these two r keeping me sane #scheduled post bc once again it is midnight

[kathrynmjaneway]

.

#still wild to me that i am in a relationship #itll be 3 months next week and i am obsessed with him than ever #i never couldve imagined itd actually be like this but it is literally everything i ever wanted #hes sooooo kind #and sweet and i could gush about him all day long #i mentioned in front of two of his friends how im planning to buy a ps5 in the next couple months bc i only have Nintendo consoles #and i wanna play other games #and his two friends where like well why arent you getting a gaming pc????? #important note here: they all are gaming nerds and they are all like IT guys incl my boyfriend #and i explained that its just the easiest way and that im not really a pc gamer #(but important note here is that my bf has hi gaming pc set up on his tv and plays with a controller exclusively and i do vibe with that) #and then all 3 basically were like we will literally build you a gaming pc ourselves so you dont buy a ps5!!!! #that was 2 days ago. #yesterday my boyfriend showed me his research into possible gaming pc set ups for me that would be within a certain budget #while still being definitely more than good enough #and he explained some things to me and asked my opinions #and now im sat here like ok 🥺 #i think ill let my boyfriend build me a gaming pc #mind you i wasnt planing on getting a ps5 before fall the earliest bc im planning on moving soon and money and all that #but hes already planning and gathering ideas #while still understanding why i initially wanted a ps5 (less money and i have no idea about gaming pc set ups) and leaving it fully up to me #i am also now at exactly 100 hours into elden ring with him as my backseater #which means end game shit #i am currently switching between trying to win against Malenia Mogh lord of blood and radagon #its........ going #i maxed out my number of flasks and charges?? is that what its called #and i got my +10 staved and sword/catana #its still super fun but hoh boy #the rush of adrenaline when i finally beat godfrey and my boyfriend was so hapoy for me too it was honestly super fucking adorable #personal

[cornerfolks]

to clarify some things just because

this is a funny

i cant claim to know what the inspirations for myhouse were aside from, very obviously, house of leaves

yume nikki itself is inspired by lsdde, but i feel like its usage of wordless Suggested storytelling may have influenced my house, where you can try to piece together a story just from the spaces you travel- in yn you have multiple worlds like that, the first that comes to mind being the hit and run.

lsd dream emulator i feel may have influenced my house Independently from yume nikki, particularly with the way levels interconnect and loop back around on one another in a 3d setting

P.T. definitely belongs here like obviously but consider this: i forgor. and itd look weird if it wasnt a triangle. realistically, its Probably an even bigger influence than house of leaves. i mean, it's PT. its PT.

the complete absence, aside from HoL, of house-centric media is not an oversight because despite everything, myhouse really isn't about the house. the "haunted house" isnt the house itself, it's the doom map of the house- the building is irrelevant, what matters is that its the space Tom created. the reason the house's layout repeats itself everywhere isn't because the house matters, it's because that was the layout tom created in the original map that steve decided to update. do you understand THIS? the house isnt alive, the myhouse.wad is alive. there is a distinction and the distinction is crucial. the analog to the house on ash tree lane isnt the house itself, because there is no real world physical house present in the story, since its only about the mod based on said house. the analog to the house on ash tree lane, to This House (skinamarink acknowledgement), to the monster house, is the map.

thank you for coming to my tedtalk. its 6:30pm and i just ate subway after i started my day at 5pm having gone to sleep at 6 something am with a full xanax following a night of drinking red bull. i need to take my magnesium pills to balance my energy.

btw the gay monster house is something i'm doing myself stay tuned for that.

in truth i dont even know if we can legitimately consider myhouse part of houseposting... but i will anyway because it carries the same spirit. even if its about a doom map. like in fiction its about a doom map.

#myhouse #myhouse.wad #myhouse.pk3 #if you people saw the original post youll see this too because we're all housefags who are in the tag looking for content that understands #it. and isnt just like WOW. LIMINAL SPACE. speaking of i think the inclusion of the backrooms and the pool area are a detriment to the mod. #at least the backrooms is a funny easter egg bc you literlaly have to noclip. #nothing major and i guess i only think that because i know about the annoying liminal space trends (emphasis on trends) i love that kind of #imagery and was interested long before their explosion in 2020. same with the backrooms. i was there in like 2018 thinking about the post. #before it all went to hell. #then again i experiened the same thing with analog horror. #perhaps nothing is sacred. #at least our little houseposting corner seems safe because to even care at all you need to understand its nuance #though that didnt stop people from ignoring what made the backrooms creepy and just adding levels and monsters to make an scp ripoff i mean #there is literally a wiki with like numbered articles and shit. its wild. #anyway. if youre reading this all the way down here hows it going? good day so far? do me a solid- go listen to a quick one before the eter #al worm devours connecticut. maybe you already know it but its one of my fav songs ever from one of my fav albums from one of my fav artist #not have a nice life in general though they rule but rather dan barrett who also did giles corey and black wing #did you know hes bisexual? its awesome. he made a song called guilt is my boyfriend. its really good. under the giles corey name

[dilfpassing]

Man this is the first birthday I've sat alone in my room and sobbed on

#this fucking sucks #my dad called me to say happy birthday and i started crying because i got so bummed out #he was going to come up and visit and we had to postpone because i got covid #and then 20 other things went wrong already this morning #and im sick and exhausted and sad #and then i got dizzy while walking the dog im pet sitting #and i got stuck behind bikers taking up the whole lane #and then behind a pickup truck full of mulch going 20 under #and i had to cancel my birthday party #and my mom is at the beach without me spending time with her racist loser boyfriend and bragging about it to our family #and this was supposed to be the year i finally did something for myself on my birthday like it was supposed to be different this year #and im alone in my room #tired and sweaty and sad and lonely and miserable and sick and awful #and i just want to hibernate until this is over

[tinynebula]

death to insufferable hetero people in relationships

#this is to my roommate who sends whatsapp audio messages drunk to her boyfriend at 3 AM #who unprompted told him now on video call “do you want to watch me shower?” #girl the wall that divides us is PAPER THIN #i can hear EVERYTHING #i'm already pissed you woke me at 3 am with your stupid drunken rant #I don't need the details of your fucking sex life #i also don't want to hear you fighting with him regularly #god sometimes i want a bf but no if it's like this #like why do you need to video call him every fucking day even if it's 1 am #go to sleep!!!!!! #why do you fight every day but when you say everything is fine #why did you have a fight about what you post on Instagram like i can't imagine a man trying to control my stupid posts #absolutely insufferable

[baldwinboy5ive]

and then

You know the boy was waiting for us to call him our friend.

#can I not just call him my actual boyfriend already #playchoices #blades of light and shadow #aerin valleros

[collectiveofdumbasses]

I fucking hate the Wilbur soot fandom

#my ex situationship was a wilbur write #she is/was very toxic #to me and my friends #and now the fandom is calling my comfort person an abuser #my boyfriend is a fucking wilbur introject and this is tearing him to shreds #hes been crying and i have to be strong and not cry too #anyway leave irl wilbur alone #the fandom has already essentially bullied him off social media and now youre calling him an abuser with 'evidence' that doesnt line up #all you guys are doing is hurting him and the fandom #being accused of being an abuser absolutely fucking sucks and damaging to your mental health

[ingravinoveritas]

Michael talking about David’s one “bad habit” on the panel at MCM today and sounding more like an adoring boyfriend than ever before.

Michael: “David doesn’t have any bad habits! I mean, he’s...he is a bit too good to be true, really. He’s always lovely to everyone--oh! I’ll tell you what his bad habit is. He leaves it to me to--when there’s a problem, and we’re unhappy about something, because I’m supposedly the grumpy one, he leaves it to me so he can be the [doing an impersonation of David] ‘Oh, I’m sorry, it’s just Michael has a wee problem with this, I don’t know--it’s not me, I’m fine with it, you know.’ But the two of us have gone, ‘Oh, that’s a bit out of order, isn’t it?’ and then I’m the attack dog who has to go out.”

Michael talked at length about David on the panel, but I wanted to home in on this bit right now, because...where do I even begin? Everything about this is so damn coupley. “We’re unhappy”? Michael barely separated him and David before, but now it’s like they’re just one combined unit completely.

I think this is a reflection of their characters to an extent, to the relationship between Aziraphale and Crowley, but it also reflects Michael repeatedly saying how there is no Aziraphale without Crowley, and how his performance was what it was because David was there as Crowley. So that lack of distinction between their performances has now become this thing where they are just...together. Whether platonically or romantically, “Michael and David” are together. To quote the ever-learned philosophers known as the Spice Girls: “Tonight is the night when two become one.”

The other thing I love is that even after three years, Michael still sounds so smitten with David. I realize I gave the David costume the title of Smitten Co-Star in my Spirit Halloween edits, but my goodness if Michael doesn’t deserve that title as well. Because it honestly seems difficult for him to summon up even one bad thing about David, and even then, what he does mention is actually incredibly cute and speaks so clearly to the dynamic between them--the quiet, laid back one (David) who goes for the loud, fiery one (Michael) who is willing to be confrontational when he isn’t. Amazing.

This was just so, so lovely, and I truly will never get tired of hearing Michael talk about David the way he does...

#michael sheen #welsh seduction machine #david tennant #soft scottish hipster gigolo #mcm comic con #good omens #between this and the hickeys i mean good lord #what a weekend #michael is about as subtle as a drunken llama on roller skates #just call him your boyfriend already Michael #they are such a fucking couple i can't #like there is no doubt in my mind #you love to see it #ineffable lovers #discourse

[madhushala]

.

#this girl was joking about another girl in my batch fasting on karvachauth for her boyfriend and it was the light jokes so it was okay #but then she said why is she doing it her caste is completely different from his her parents would kill her #and that how college relationships are only for time being until you're in college and you're there for each other's support #and that nothing in college couples is that serious and they may turn out just good friends in future #and there's no reason to worship your love because it's just 'casual'??!! #ive so many feelings and a little heartbreak #ive already tried thinking about future but you know it 2ould just spiral me and thinking tha ahead doesn't make sense know #logically speaking she's right that we can go through SO MANY changes during the college years and no one knows anything ahead #but idk like i love him its not just oh im in college and ive got a boyfriend to get my nights busier and go on silly pretend dates #i didn't date anyone for nineteen years because i just wouldn't date anyone #its just surprising me as well how i came here so clueless and how everything led to each other and then into us #and i don't say stuff like marriage and kids because that's too huge. just too huge right now to think off #and that's also a way of keeping myself humble #and i would love love love to think about a future too not just yet it's too quick and im okay understanding everything rather than diving #but what she said. is so um its messing with my brain #ofc im not letting it over weigh me not at least from a person who's with multiple seniors #sends all her money to her so called youtuber bf #and goes to private places with some other guy #who's in everything for casual #but i don't know what im supposed to do with it right now #playing around my head #or maybe i should just trust the process

[doomednarrative]

Meant to crosspost this the other day and forgot but I was talkin with Ethan about my Thoughts on the OOO crew and relationship/sexuality/gender stuff

#eiji and ankh are already very nontradtional and i like leaning into that tbh #whatever they are its special to them #i still call them boyfriends cause They Are in my mind but again. special to them in how they opperate #kief watches kr ooo #kamen rider ooo

[onthejadedjournal]

and no matter how many times i shift i still go back to steven somehow

#what magic!!!!!!! has been done on me!!!!!!!! #WIWIWIW i lov my man somcuh #so MUCHHCHH #hes my sweetheart and husband and LAALALALALALALLA sorry #now i dont like pointing at fos and saying that hes the number one of all but right now he's just. always making me happy <3 #MAI HUBBYYYY #this may sound crazy but i kinda see steven in such a family way like that's my husband AND father of our kid (rubebe) RAAGAHHEGAGSS #IT MAKES ME SOOOOO #HE HASMY SON AND I LOVEHIM SOMUUUCHH #broo i kid u not i was talking to someone and the fact that they bring up ruby because it “completes the family” LIKE BRUHHHHRHRBTHHR #WE ARE SOO UNITED. stone family <3 stone family #my beautiful and handsome husband and my gorgeous and handsome and cute bebe rubebeb #i went steven art hopping around and i get this. overwhelming happiness like WWOUUHHH HE'SSO... THAT'S... YM HUSBAND #u know whats so funny? i can't even find myself calling him boyfriend because No that's my marriedman wdym HDGBDHSJEJEJJS #OF COURSE IN LORE THEY GO THROUGH THE BOYFRIEND AND GIRLFRIEND STAGE its just. putting the word boyfriend next ti steven feels so. #no... that's not boyfriend material... that's HUSBAND material for you..... #HEHEHEHEHHEEHEE #I LOV MY GUYSOOMUCHHH #its already a year and uhhhh two months YAYYYYY #seriously i think this is the longest ive gone for an fo #him and red are very special to me #do not fight about whos the better fo in this because I love them bothr EQUALLY THANK YOU

[terroristiraqi]

oh i wish feelings would go away

#p #need to unregister from the class we signed up for together lol #unless i need it in that case he can leave #i do care about him but he was just exhausting me constantly #just being immature and not to my standards. which like fine i have high standards for ppl whatever #but just not being realistic at all. then has the gall to call me immature and call this 'tv ahh shi' #genuinely burst out laughing at that one #he loves me sure. #i realized i kept dreading calls or trying to ignore his texts and avoid him essentially #didn't see him for a month and we kissed day after eid and there was nothing honestly #none of the spark or the feeling that was there before #alhamdullilah. i came to my senses even tho 3 weeks late #he says he doesn't hate me. 'you're the only one who can break my heart'. direct words #he's upset no doubt. blocked him on everything #i think he thinks i'll come back i mean i came back twice #but khalas. sneaking around and lying and the excuses i keep giving to my family. it's exhausting #on top of me being already iffy about him. i'm 18 man i have so long to find someone #he was a lousy boyfriend a lot of the time. didn't make up for the things he said he'd make up for #he did get better but im not entirely sure since we didn't see each other for a month #all i need to do is look at the bright side of it all. i have so much freetime now. i can do what i want. i don't have to apologize for #every little thing. i feel more relaxed. i don't have to check my phone as often. i don't need to make excuses for someone else #alhamdullilah alhamdullilah alhamdullilah