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dahniwitchoflight · 3 years

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man, a lot been happening on the internet lately, talking about content creators and parasocial relationships being a big topic recently

I almost don’t wanna post anything about it, cuz I’m not sure how to avoid any sort of stirring of the pot, but there’s an angle to this situation that I think a lot of people are confused about, and that’s “where does the fault lie when a person gets hurt in a parasocial relationship?”

And people I guess are thinking this is some sort of case of power dynamic’s, but I think thinking of it in these terms is incorrect to be perfectly honest

does a content creator seem to have a lot of sway over someone who’s fallen into a parasocial relationship with them? sure it can seem that way

but is that the content creator’s fault? No, as bad as that sounds to the tumblr crowd

this is NOT the power dynamic between an abusive father and their child, or a skeezy boss and their secretary, or any other real abusive power dynamic where the victim faces some sort of real consequence for not being compliant with the abuser’s wishes

this is the dynamic between a casino and someone with a gambling addiction.

can you argue that the gambling addiction/parasocial relationship wouldn’t exist without the casino/creator existing? sure you can

can you argue that it’s within the interests of the casino/content creator to get customers and fans? absolutely

but can you also say that the problem in the situation here is inherent to the person with the actual addiction problem here? someone who gets too invested in the scenario through their own desires and or addiction problems? That many people can go to a casino or be a fan of a person in a perfectly reasonable healthy amount and never get hurt or encounter any issues? Yeah

Even if you dislike the casino/creator and have hard feelings for putting you into a situation where you believed you were gonna win it all, even though the odds of that happening were never in your favor, and rightfully feel you’ve been victimized by them, the casino/creator existing and doing there thing I really don’t believe is the thing at fault here

I think there’s something to the idea that people who are vulnerable to addictions like gambling and thinking that theyll win the jackpot of millions against impossible odds is not too dissimilar from a singular fan of some content creator thinking, this is it, I’m the one theyll fall in love with over everyone else, against all the odds itll be me

and also whatever prevents them from realizing that the consequences of losing would apply to them as well, other people in the casino might lose all their savings, but it wont happen to me. Other people might get lost in the fantasy and then end up being dumped, but it wont be me

I think the brain juice would see these as very similar situations, and this addiction angle I think explains a lot for how people get into parasocial relationships in the first place and why they feel like it’s so hard to get out

but people are still free to believe that casino’s/content creators are morally corrupt institutions, just from their nature of the fact that their livelihood depends on people and fans crowding to their type of entertainment

At the end of the day, they cannot control what their fans are going to do, they can’t read the minds of anyone who chooses to come to their establishment, they can’t know at a glance or through conversation who’s going to get addicted and who isn’t, they can only see warnings signs after the fact and then damage control, it’s just a messy reality of life that it happens

There are best practices to prevent these types of things sure but those don’t catch every case and inevitably there are going to be people who fall through the cracks anyway

the correct approach here is to mitigate the addiction problem. that’s the real thing at fault here, not any one person

so to answer the question, where does the fault lie when someone gets hurt in a parasocial relationship?

you might be a victim yes, but not a victim of the casino, as much as it can feel like that, your a victim of an unfortunate affliction

people can be dismissive and yell all they want about alcoholics being drunks, or gamblers having no spine and should just be able to not go to a casino, or people who are overinvested fans should just be able to stop back and not care about a creator so much, but I understand that it’s not that easy

but it still doesn’t make it the fault of whatever you got addicted to, It doesn’t make it anyone’s fault, and the casino/creator has less power over an addicted individual than you think, short of banning them entirely, there isn’t much they can do from their end to mitigate an individual’s behavior, I think that is something some people need to hear, I hope people don’t think I’m callous or believe that people weren’t genuinely hurt by the events that happened to them or something

but the fix to this problem doesn’t lie on the casino’s/creator’s end, it lies in mitigating the addictive disorder in the individual’s in particular’s end

this is purely speaking from someone who runs a blog and has thoughts for a fandom that once upon a time a lot of people seem really invested in, (not so much nowadays lol)

I cannot control anyone of you, I don’t know any one of you, no matter how much I might try or get close or how close any person out there gets to me, I still can’t predict when I might encounter someone who seems overly starstruck, and in no way do I have the ability to navigate those kinds of relationships properly. I simply do not have that sort of therapeutic training and I think it’s a little bit unreasonable for people to expect that from me, despite how charismatic or not I seem like

I just have indeed had instances where another person got really overinvested in “Dahni Witch of Light” and wanted to be in my inner circle of socialness and friends and might have been hurt when I declined that, but at the same time, I can’t do anything about that (thankfully I’m not any sort of real popular LOL and it’s only really happened like once or twice, that I know of, since they made their feelings clear to me in private, but that’s still one or two people that might have gotten hurt)

So what does this all have to do with stuff?

I’ve read all the anecdotes about both Dan Avidan and Vinny Vinesauce, read all the docs, see all these people’s point of view, and yeah it sucks that they got hurt by the circumstances, but all that stuff meant to paint these people in a bad light? did more to me to paint them in a really good light

I saw nothing but people making sure they had the comfort and consent of everything they were involved in, doing best practices when it comes to relationships, talking about their feelings, about their expectations and also doing what they can to protect themselves and their privacy

again the worst things I saw about either of them, is danny building up the fantasy of being with a rockstar a bit too much, egging on any potential parasocial relationship issues that might have already existed, and vinny giving someone HPV (which, is debunked in of itself because that’s not how HPV works in men, even outside of vinny that’s just not how it works.)

the rest of all the stuff I saw esp in the vinny doc, was people not even accusing vinny of saying or doing anything wrong either, but miles and miles of “I assumed he was thinking x” or ”I assumed he was feeling y” and no attempts to communicate with him about any issues they had with him, because they felt awkward doing so, and instead let it fester inside them until they got hurt by it

this is not sexual assault, their mild discomfort about stuff never even happened over sexual topics, just bland things like him over-venting to them sometimes or having lowkey mental issues like being paranoid a little, this is not even being intentionally hurt by someone, this is being bad at communicating with your partner and letting yourself endure a relationship you weren’t actually happy with, because you didn’t want to get dumped by the person you were invested in

and if you feel like you can’t honestly communicate with your partner, not because of anything they did to you, but because of your own internal conflict over how famous he is, and feeling like you’re forced to endure things you aren’t vibing with in a personal relationship

(mind you, I mean the things they said they endured in the doc which was, they didn’t like when vinny would get ranty about his friends or previous sexual encounters he had that went bad or they got weirded out because they thought he was too paranoid about stuff when they were together....which... okay so like tell him you don’t want to hear about that stuff? communicate your problems to your partner? end of story? you never even attempted that, you never even gave examples of things you thought he would do to you other than dump you if you spoke up...... which, I’m sorry, but that’s not some sort of consequence a victim faces from their abuser.... so you can’t even say he would have had a bad reaction, especially when you give examples of him doing exactly the opposite, apologizing for things that made other people uncomfortable WHEN theyve actually communicated to him that they were uncomfortable with it)

-Those are signs that you are too overinvested and too parasocially invested with a person to have an honest relationship with them

like, heck these things aren’t even unique to partnerships, you should be able to communicate when anyone around you is making you uncomfortable, even friends, but if you can’t and the only reason you can’t is because of a parasocial investment in that person, that’s not healthy on your end

Danny sure seems to have been a little bit at fault for building up the fantasy of catching feelings for a famous dude when he intended one night stands, is that the best way to have navigated the situation? No probably not, but to a person who doesn’t have a parasocial relationship with him, this behavior would just be disappointing when the fantasy fizzled out, it’s not inherently harmful

after that point, if after the fact a person who had any sort of interaction with them felt hurt by the experience, there honestly is not much more a content creator could have done to mitigate that, in fact Vinesauce I think seems at least more aware of the parasocial thing and tried more strongly to vet the people he was with to not be those kind of people, but again people aren’t mind readers and nothing will ever be foolproof like that, and I guess some people even took him trying to vet that kind of behavior as hurtful in and of itself, (they took him venting about previous parasocial relationships he had and how paranoid and upsetting they were to him, and took it as some sort of threat against them personally, like they were trying to mindgame what exactly he was telling them, assuming he was saying something else that he wasn’t, which, is assumptions that live entirely in their own minds) but I’m just sitting here like, what else could they have done?

I get that people who had sexual relationships with these people could come away feeling really awful about it, feeling manipulated or duped in some way, but what else could have been done to prevent that from happening other than the people in question just, never interacting with anyone? Which is not a realistic solution, and doesn’t fix the problem of the victim in question moving on and getting starstruck by someone else and having it happen it all over again

If these people want to make friends, want to make relationships with anyone, want to have casual sex, want to have any sort of human connection, there unfortunately gonna have to sort the people they encounter into two different groups, people who have parasocial relationships with them and people who don’t, (and this is NOT people are fans of them and people who are not, you can be a fan and not get caught into the parasocial thing) and it is impossible to get this correct in every single individual social experience that theyre gonna have with every single individual human being, regardless if it’s a sexual relationship or not

in conclusion, I really do hope the people who were hurt by all this can truly heal and move on eventually from this, in no way am I trying to lessen their experiences, but I really don’t think other people deserved to be hung from the gallows over this, it’s no one person’s fault, neither the fan’s or the content creator’s, it’s just a messy interpersonal situation

I believe the correct thing to do is spread awareness about the warnings signs that you might be falling into a parasocial relationship, more effort needs to be put into what this looks like, what it feels like, how to avoid it, how to mitigate it, and how to regulate the very real feelings of love and affection someone might have for a person they see all the time in media but don’t have a real connection with, with the understanding of yeah, if you really can’t enter a casino without losing your life savings, a very real conversation needs to be had if you should even be entering these casino’s/watching their content at all

#my main conflict over this post is is this actually helpful at all or is this just hurting stirring things up more #I don't believe my position is an unreasonable one to have #and i do believe there is something to be gained from reading it #but i don't want to hurt anyone either

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smilingperformer · 6 years

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SM082 - Thoughts, shorter ver!

Because it’s way too hot to write full-on thoughts but I really want to talk about two events of the episode specifically: Amamaiko’s journey to Amajo and our beloved Rocket Gang! Let’s get started with newest episode:

Won’t You Give Us a Dance Dance Evolution?

When we first saw previews, the episode seemed to not really focus on one character, but throughout the episode, it was clear Mao and Amamaiko were the focus of the day. The theme being PokeDance, the episode consisted of fun scenes with different kinds of PokeDances (and with Satoshi not understanding the concept of Dance... hey, he never did, even if he tried doing it in XY, it makes sense he did what he did!), one being Alola Hula, which is pretty much Pokemon version of Hula Hula Dance! The Old Lady from the Market is finally named as Moani, as Mao and Amamaiko are apparently regular customers at her stop.

But the two sure get inspired by the dance, as they are now practising it for the little Competition at Pokemon School! Even Mao’s Papa lets her off from work early to practice for the dance. Alola Hula seems so fitting for Amamaiko. Shame they can’t showcase their dance in the end, thou Amamaiko being so tranced with the dance sure helped them out of Rocket Gang’s latest scheme! Speaking of Rocket Gang!

They heard Mao and Moani talking about the PokeDance competition while selling Malasada Donuts, and thus started planning on kidnapping all of the Pokemon at Pokemon School. All because Musashi wanted Back Dancers for her show, Kojiro and Nyarth agreeing! First time they do a scheme on School land. I sure hope Kukui does some preparations to improve security. But their scheme, ah!

Their scenes were so lovely to watch, it’s also fitting for Musashi to be so entranced with dancing, considering her career as Performer Musavie! She danced a lot during her Kalos journey!

I want to quickly mentioned how I loved Suiren’s PokeDance performance, and I think she’d do great in Contests/Showcases! Maybe a lil foreshadowing. Or maybe I’m overreading. Tehee.

Back to Rocket Gang thou! Ohmygod I never thought I’d be so happy to see their old days of crossdressing return! I now realise I truly missed it!

Kojiro looks absolutely stunning and Musashi looks absolutely amazing in her suit! I keep thinking about Smooth Criminal when seeing her in that outfit and just... ah. Nyarth’s outfit is a reference to some japanese puppet play of sorts, apparently. Saw it linked on twitter.

Their scheme was kind of a typical one, but considering Satoshi hadn’t been trapped liked that since well, long time ago (I think XY had similar ‘Pokemon here and Trainers there’ scheme but I don’t remember clearly), I don’t blame him for not remembering about such occurance. Amamaiko being in a Alola Hula trance of kind thou, she didn’t listen to their instructions and is actually free! So she’s their only hope! Sort of similar to SM018 where Amamaiko evolved from Amakaji! This time Amamaiko is a threat to the plan thou, when last time they didn’t think Amakaji could do anything, until it evolved and double slapped the hell out of them lol.

Some may find it lazy, but it’s sort of a nice touch to make Amamaiko’s evolution episodes have similarities with each other, with added scenarios like Amamaiko’s actually being capable of doing something. Althou, it seems like they prepared for a flaw in their flawless plan (8D), and welp.

Amamaiko gets trapped in Basketball net. Which by the way... was very poorly animated? It literarily had three frames when coming down from ceiling like they usually do. Wonder if this episode’s animation production somehow had trouble? Because some scenes were gourgeus, but this bothered the hell out of me.

But y’know, Rocket Gang obviously thinks Amamaiko’s no longer a threat with her slapper hair trapped. But her legs are still free. :)))) Nyarth, you done goofed. Even more when he tells them exactly how to break the cages. I think he’s been too used to saying his thoughts out loud lol.

Mao and Lilie take action right away, Nyarth trying to fix his mess-up by catching Amamaiko before reaching the top of the cage. Considering Amamaiko cannot use any of her moves atm (her moves involve hands and her hair pretty much!), Lilie helping her out by causing Nyarth slip with Shiron’s Powder Snow was good thinking.

But oh boy, the scene we’ve been waiting for! Since Amamaiko only has her legs free, she’s using them to break the cage! And each time she’s kicking, she’s actually learning Stomp, confirmed by Kukui! You guys know what that means!

HERE WE GO!!!!

OH!

MY!

GOSH!

This whole sequence! ;____;

I told you guys Amajo is happening the moment we had the title Dance Dance Evolution! This was the very first evolution episode I watched without being spoiled, only having speculated of her happening, being super anxious, and then crying out of happiness when it happened ;v; And this is most definitely my favourite evolution sequence in Pokeani up to date! Why? Because it actually shows what’s being changed when evolving, and in what way. It’s not just blue aura changing form. This is something that is extreme norm for Digimon and love it a lot there, and I think I like this evolution scene even more! Sure, quite Magical Girl inspired, but I don’t mind one bit!

I do hate how my mind keeps thinking Waifumon because of watching Vinesauce Vinny’s Pokemon Moon playthrough. God damn it.

Anyway, I love Amajo’s design, and her voice changed exactly how I pictured it to be! And I freaking love how Nyarth is self-aware of the fact that once again, Mao’s partner evolved under their watch, and is gonna screw them up! And oh boy. Amajo’s legs are strong!

Also freaking love how Kojiro says that Amamaiko evolved into a Queen Pokemon! That is beautiful! Oh! I just realised Amajo means Queen of Fruit! Niiiice that explains the Berry Tiara!

Let’s try to end this post thou: Amajo Trop Kicks Nyarth into the other Basketball net in the room, and breaks the cages, letting everyone free! While it looks like there’s gonna be a Alola Squad VS Rocket Gang battle, Kiteruguma comes and grabs the naughty kids back home :)))

Episode finishes with an upgraded MokuShot combo ending up being Amajo’s PokeDance performance, and considering how strong her legs are now, it’s a nice showcase of how much more powerful MokuShot is now as well! Just look what it did to Satoshi:

Cracks on the floor..... someone needs to renovate the place. That was one powerful MokuShot.

End of the episode! Erm. Amajo caused me to talk for a bit long apparently. I just really started adoring Amajo when I finally evolved my Amamaiko in Ultra Moon. She’s so badass!

The episode as a whole was a bit on the weaker side. While I truly enjoyed it, animation was lacking in some places compared to the quality we’ve had throughout the series. I can’t help but be bothered by it. I can definitely see the people who watch Pokemon for battles not enjoying this episode but eh. I’m not one of those. I watch for characters, and their interactions. And this episode did that to me!

But it was nice for Mao to debut the full Amakaji evolution line, and I’m extremely happy for her! Next step for her journey would be either getting Z-ring, or something happening with the Aina Cafeteria that could be devastating, or a step-back. I’m not sure. Catching another Pokemon is a possibility as well, thou I wouldn’t bet on it, considering the big cast of characters!

The episode as a whole kinda seems like it could work as a basis for future Contest/Showcase debut in Sun & Moon series. This is definitely me being wishful, but considering how they introduced Gyms, it’d be approriate for Kukui to arrange an introduction to Contests at least!

When it comes to next one to evolve.... Ashimari? Mokuroh? Those are my two guesses!

Pokeproblem post-segment shows Amajo looking sad with her apron being too small now, to which Mao respondes by promising to fix it to fit her again. It’s a nice nice scene <3

Next week, Sauboh is back, and accidentally minimizes Satoshi, Lilie and Mamane, who end up going on an adventure outside the School Yard with giant-sized Pokemon around them! And apparently Sauboh trying to capture them in a clear pokeball as well!

Also with a return of Ganbalilie hairstyle, with Lilie’s usual outfit! That is wonderful combo! Also...

I can imagine this Persian being the same one from Nyabby’s episode, SM007! I could be wrong, but it would be a nice callback!

SM083 - Satoshi Minimizes

Looking so forward to this episode! Cya all next week!

#aleira watches sumo #pokemon #pokeani #pokemon sumo #ub arc #long post #'it's too hot to write #proceeds to write lots anyway #i'm hopeless #i loved this episode even with the flaws i wrote about ok?

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fantroll-purgatory · 6 years

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@47098

Hi again! You guys helped me a lot with my trolls, and you helped me a bit with her already, but if it’s alright I’d like another review!

Name: Cris Wright

Is this a reference to Phoenix Wright or do you just like the name? Hehe. I would almost recommend changing the surname to Binyot as a reference to Vinny Vinesauce, a really famous game corrupter, but… since I don’t know your reasoning behind this name, and human kid names tend to have less rhyme and reason, I will Approve It.

Age: 14 (or the equivalent of about 6.9 sweeps)

Weapon: Grappling hook!

As cool as that is, I think maybe hammerkind or scrapkind would work best for her, as a reference to her interests? It seems a lot more likely that she’d be carrying around her bangin’ hammer, or a piece of sharp scrap that she could kick ass with. Unless she utilized the grappling hook to get away from the beast in her home? But it doesn’t sound very useful to use a grappling hook inside a house… I guess I’d need more context LOL.

Inventory: Looks like an old point and click adventure game’s inventory system? Also it keeps track of her health. It has the possibility of getting ‘corrupted,’ but I’m not sure how it would get corrupted.

Since she’s a heart player, maybe it could get corrupted by giving her Way More Lives. Just hearts going all off the screen. Especially if she gets god-tiered in a really unorthodox way that could result in glitching.

Symbol: Missingno’s ghost version, colored green to match her glasses/ eyes! It matches both her love for video games and is sort of similar to how the events of her story play out. Thank you guys for the suggestion, back when!

Oh I’m glad it was helpful!

Handle: screapmetalMaster [SM] - screapmetal is for her scrap metal sculptures and her inability to type well. Master is because of her false confidence and bravado.

Quirk: types in all lowervase and often makes extremely easy to fix typos because she types extremely fast and doesnt check her spelling before pressing send and makes herself look like a complete dumbasss

FUCK i mean lowercase, also dumbass should ujust have like two s

JUST FUCK

(uses capitals to emphasize words, mostly curse words, and corrects herself using said curse words. Often makes typos in the correction as well. Doesn’t use commas or apostrophes, most of the time, and doesn’t capitalize names.)

Haha I love that, it’s a really simple and effective way to communicate her tendency towards haste. I think it makes sense that she’d be in a rush for a lot of reasons, not the least of which including her… lusus.

Lusus: Keeping this in because she sort of… does have one? A big beast in her home that chases her around that acted a bit like a parent when she was a very small baby. The beast is a creature beyond description. When she turned three, the monster kept away before eventually emerging to begin chasing.

Now I gotta ask… what kind of beast is it? Like you say it’s beyond description, so is it a first guardian or some chaotic sort? Or a spirit? Some sort of cosmic reach around monster projected by a juggalo? Weird stuff can happen in Homestuck so I’d not be too surprised by any of these options.

Personality:

Excitable, self-loathing.

Extremely excitable, as in she gets EXTREMELY EXCITED over things she is interested in. She hates sitting still, preferring to wander around aimlessly even if she has seen everything before. She has a hard time connecting to people, but if she does she will ride or die with them. She has a hard time believing anyone really likes her, but still tires her best to be what she considers likable. She doesn’t know what other people are like, though, so she often isn’t very good at making impressions. Every mistake is just another reason to hate herself, but she never lets other people know how she really feels about herself. She absolutely has a phobia of talking about herself, just the thought making her panic. She perceives everyone as being better than her, viewing herself as some kind of cosmic fuck-up that was shoved into the farthest corner of the galaxy to be forgotten.

She is very earnest, seeking ways to do things and enjoying problem solving, but when social interaction comes into play she is completely blank. She has never been around people, so this is to be expected, but it is still almost impossible to speak to others in real life. She has a bigger problem speaking to other humans, as trolls are easier for her to talk to because she relates more to them.

She has a phobia of being touched, but finds that she is okay when she initiates the touch.

Ooh, I do like this personality a lot… Being unable to sit still because of how she grew up and this feeling of suffering and this desire for closeness… An inability to connect emotionally and a search for a sense of self, a need to look inside and figure herself out… I also adore that her theme color is green, because it feels like a nice nod to the doom aspect, which feels pretty connected to her too.

I think you should focus a little more on her desire to build a cohesive identity. You mention her outward confidence/calling herself a master, so maybe make her someone who is a bit of a compulsive liar. Who tries to overstate who she is and what she is capable of, because that’s what she thinks people want to hear, and she wants to present this cohesive outward identity to try to find a sort of stability within herself.

Interests:

Turning scrap metal into very scraggly, usually sharp sculptures. She basically puts a pile of scrap down and hits it with a hammer.

Video games, or more specifically fucking up the game’s coding to make weird things happen.

Programming (In a broad sense)

“in a broad sense” made me laugh. My favorite thing people do is organizing game menu items in a particular code sequence to make events happen in speedruns. Would she do that sort of thing?

Adventure (in a “i want to see everything and mess it up!” way instead of an “i want to explore the world!” kind of way)

Maybe you should have her have like, a youtube channel or something of the short where she shows off her glitch fun to try to give herself an ego boost.

Title: Mage (??) of Heart

I’m… tempted to make her a Knight of Heart. I know Maroux is a knight, but Maroux’s a troll and Cris is a human, so that should be fine yeah? It just seems like she has a lot of need to self-focus and work on who she is and learn to be confident in herself and her abilities and her identity.

Land: CORRIDORS and SCRAP

Essentially leaving what she used to have and being thrown back into it, like the universe is telling her that she can never leave what she was born into. (if that makes sense)

Oh that’d be so stressful for her but you’re very right about it being a good idea. It would create a quest that forces her to work on self reflection and exploration instead of an examination of the world around her.

Dream Planet: Derse

For sure fitting!

thank you guys again!

Always happy to help! Thank you for sharing another wonderful character. Here’s the design notes:

So I really didn’t have much to edit here. I moved her face down to match the style’s proportions better, including moving the hairline down. I made the jacket a uniform color to preserve simplicity. And I added shoes (edited from fan-troll’s) because I feel like if she needs to run it’s a good idea for her to have some reliable running shoes. Unless she wears socks because she needs to sneak? But even then working with a ton of sharp metal scrap while shoeless seems foolish.

She’s a great character! I hope this helps!

-CD

#47098 #cris wright #fankid #review #redesign #cd review #cris #wright #submission

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