#also shout out to my MP3 player from when I was 11 that still works to this day | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hymn2000 · 4 years

Text

Ideal Confusion - MCU AU Fanfic - C14

(Title subject to change)

Story summary: Giving into the constant pressure from the press, Tony decides to put a rest to the rumours that Peter is his biological son - once and for all.

Previous Chapter(s): 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13

Part of my Frostiron and Spiderson series.

Warnings/themes: family, family stuff, adoption, DNA test(s), pressure, peer pressure, social issues, mentions of alcoholism, mental health problems, potentially some minor medical inaccuracies, mentions of corporal punishment, hurt/comfort,mentions of suicide

You can also find me on AO3

Chapter 14 - Bitter Fingers

He knew exactly what he was doing, thumping out heavy, almost furious, soulful notes, singing the words perfectly, with feeling, with vigour, with a real sense of urgency.

“You’re good” Tony said, once he’d finished the song.

Peter slowly turned to him. He’d had a feeling he was being watched; he just hadn’t realised who by. They’d ended up in another argument after Li had left the previous day, and hadn’t spoken since. He turned back to the piano.

“I know”

“Why don’t you play something else? Something classical?”

“I don’t want to”

“Why not?”

“I just don’t” Peter said, putting his hands back on the keys.

“Well, play something more upbeat”

Peter paused, thinking, and then started playing. At first Tony seemed almost approving, but as the first verse flew by, his expression changed.

“-Think I'm gonna kill myself, cause a little suicide, stick around for a couple of da-”

“PETER!”

“What?! You told me to play something more upbeat!”

“I didn’t mean this! This song is so insensitive”

“Sir Elton tried to kill himself thrice:- I think he’s within his rights to sing about it”

“That doesn’t mean you are!”

“Don’t you have anything better to do?” Peter scowled. “Why are you up here?”

“I wanted to see you play”

“Why?”

“Why? Because you’re my son, maybe?”

“Oh, so I’m your son now, am I?”

Tony sighed. “Don’t start”

“I’m not starting anything” Peter shrugged, looking back at his piano, studying the front as though he had a songbook open.

“I thought you liked performing. You’ve been singing to your father, haven’t you?”

“He actually wants to listen, and he’s not in denial”

“What makes you think I’m in denial?”

Peter gave him a look, looking so similar to Loki that for a moment, Tony wasn’t sure how to react. Eventually, he just sighed and sat down next to Peter, taking his MP3.

“I’ll choose something for you. You can play by ear, right?”

“I’m playing Sir Elton” Peter said. “Don’t mess with my playlist”

“Alright, calm down. How about Crocodile Rock? That’s an upbeat one”

“Maybe I don’t want to play anything upbeat. Stop messing with my stuff”

Peter tried to snatch the player back, but Tony held it out of his reach.

“Fine. Do you think you can play I Guess That’s Why They Call It The Blues?”

“Maybe I don’t want to take your suggestions” Peter snatched the player back, scrolling through. “If it’ll make you go away, I’ll play a less sad one, but this is as good as you’re gonna get”

He put his player down, shifted position so he wouldn’t clash elbows with Tony, and once again set to the ivories. In some ways, it was easy to block Tony out, even with him so close. But in other ways, he liked knowing he was there. More than that, he liked knowing that he was good:- he could play, and he could sing, and he’d achieved every bit of it without any help, knowledge, input, or support from the man sat beside him, who just so happened to be part of the reason why he was ever born. He could feel himself being watched, but he made sure never to look at him, and he just kept performing, feeling melancholy, but triumphant - almost like he wanted to stick out his tongue at his father and shout; “nah nah ne nah nah, look what I can do without you!”. But instead he just kept singing.

“...If someone else is suffering enough, oh to write it down. When every single word makes sense, then it's easier to have those songs around. The kick inside is in the line that finally gets to you, and it feels so good to hurt so bad, and suffer just enough to sing the blues. So turn 'em on, turn 'em on, turn on those sad songs. When all hope is gone, why don't you tune in and turn them on..?”

Peter took his headphones off. For a moment there was silence, and then Tony turned and wrapped his arms around the boy, pulling him close. Peter stayed still, hardly even daring to breathe. He wasn’t sure he trusted Tony’s intentions, whatever they might be, and after some of the things that had been said over the past couple of days, he wasn’t sure he wanted to be near him at all. After what felt like an eternity, he spoke, surprising himself.

“Just because I love you the most, that doesn’t mean you’re the best parent”

Loki looked over Tony’s shoulder.

“What are you looking at?”

“Just an email from the school. They’re doing a huge show at the end of term”

“I thought we’d essentially decided to withdraw him from the school?”

“Yeah... But maybe we should send him back now. Let him finish the term”

Loki was quiet for a moment. “Why the change of heart? You don’t want him to end up leaving out of someone else’s choice, do you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well. Let’s be honest; if he were at a mainstream school, and-or you weren’t his father, he’d probably have been expelled by now”

Tony took his hand away from his mouth. “...Am I a bad parent?”

“Sometimes”

Tony couldn’t help but laugh slightly. “Thanks for the brutal honesty”

“Do you really think I’m going to lie to you? Especially after the way you’ve been since we got those DNA results?”

Tony didn’t respond. Loki sighed, looking at the email on Tony’s screen.

“Is there really much point sending him back for two weeks?”

Tony shrugged. “Get him out from under our feet?”

“Charming. And here I was thinking you’d turned a corner”

“I was joking!” Tony exclaimed, showing a glimmer of personality for the first time all day. “It might be good for him to get out of the house, and tie up loose ends. I don’t think he’s talked to any of the Bunnies since the last time he was there”

“Well, if you took the time to stop sulking and actually speak to him, you’d know that he’s still been talking to Flo, and he’s even made amends with Millie”

“And Macy?”

Loki grimaced. “Still a touchy subject, I think”

Tony sighed heavily. “They were such a cute little group. It was good that he had proper friends. He’d never really had them before”

“Well, maybe not, but I can’t say I think it’s that important. From what I’ve learnt, humans don’t often keep their school friends throughout the rest of their lives anyway”

“That’s not-” Tony stopped, and sighed. “Go and get him, would you?”

“I think he’s busy”

“Loki”

“Alright, alright. I’ll go and get him”

Loki waited until Peter’s song had finished, and then gently laid a hand on his shoulder. Peter jumped slightly, pulling his headphones off.

“Oh, it’s just you”

“Your presence is requested in the kitchen”

Peter whined. “Do I have to?”

“Yes”

“Why? What does he want?”

“He wants to ask you something”

“What?”

“I shouldn’t say”

“Aww, please!”

Loki took one look at Peter’s puppy-dog eyes and gave in. “Fine, but don’t let on I’ve told you. He wants to ask how you feel about finishing the term at school”

“Oh” Peter said. “Well, sure. It’s only a couple of weeks, isn’t it?”

“Yes. Do you think you can stay out of trouble for that long?”

Peter shrugged. “Maybe~. You’ll relay my message, won’t you?” He turned back to the piano.

“Hey, you’re not getting out of it that easily!”

“Aww, but daddy! I’ve nearly nailed that hard piano riff in Burn Down The Mission! It’ll throw off my groove if I stop now!”

“You’ll just have to practice later” Loki said, taking hold of him and lifting him into his arms. “Come along, Elton. Better not leave him waiting too much longer”

Peter couldn’t work out why Tony didn’t seem satisfied with his answer. He stayed where he was on Loki’s hip, feeling somehow tiny and mighty at the same time.

“You’ll go back tomorrow then”

“Why tomorrow?”

“Why not? It’s Monday. Better day than any” Tony said. “You’d better find your uniform so we can get it ready”

“By ‘we’, I take it you mean me?” Loki said.

“Um-”

Loki laughed. “Don’t look so scared! I’ll sort it”

Peter looked at both of his parents, but settled on Tony.

“This is going to be my last term, isn’t it?”

Tony didn’t say anything, but he didn’t need to.

“Did you need anything else?”

“No...”

“Can I go back to my piano now?”

“Maybe take a little break” Loki said. “Your hands must be aching after all that playing”

“I’m fine!”

“Hold your hands out”

Peter did as he was told, reluctantly, and with a bit of difficulty due to his position. Thank god for strong thighs, he thought to himself. Loki took one look at the boys shaking hands and shook his head.

“Let them rest, sweetheart”

“It’s just a trapped muscle” Peter tried.

“You really shouldn’t try to lie to someone as good at it as I am” Loki said.

“Well, I don’t want to lounge about doing nothing” Peter pouted.

“No amount of baby-face is going to make me change my mind”

Tony watched them together. Bar a few unsavoury incidents after May’s death, Loki always managed to hold it together and be a good father to Peter. As much as he hated to admit it, Tony knew that it was him who was always rubbish is times of crisis. Loki was right; he was a bad father sometimes. Especially since finding out he was a biological father.

“Why don’t we go for a swim?” he suggested.

Loki and Peter stopped and looked at him, Peter glaring, and Loki very nearly doing the same.

“...Theoretically... Could a god impregnate a human woman at the same time as a human man, and have shared parentage with the human, so like, the kid had three bio parents?”

Loki looked at him, searching his face. He glanced at Peter, and then back at his husband. He knew what he was getting at.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Anthony”

They didn’t go for a swim. Tony started sulking again and went down to the lab, not doing proper work; just attempting to make comprehensive shapes out of solder, while Loki tried in vain to teach Peter some magic upstairs.

“It doesn’t seem to be taking” he said eventually.

“Maybe humans can’t do it” Peter said. “I can kinda feel it when you put your hands over mine, but I can’t make any of that feeling come to me naturally, yknow?”

“Well, perhaps you aren’t made to do magic. Maybe you need a spark to begin with.. Ah well. Your talents lie elsewhere”

“I guess so”

Peter closed his eyes, trying to focus on pushing energy to his fingertips like Loki had said. No matter how hard he tried, it still just seemed so much more like a concept and a metaphor than an actual physical thing he could do. He gave up and opened his eyes.

“It doesn’t work. Can’t you like, transfer your magic to me or something?”

Loki laughed slightly. “It doesn’t really work like that, chick. Now, you should probably go and get all your school stuff together; save having to do it last thing”

“Aw, it’s gonna be tough having to get up in the morning. I’ve completely fucked up my sleep schedule”

“I guessed as much. And don’t swear: you know your dad’ll go spare if he hears you”

“That’s his problem”

“It won’t be when you’re over his knee now, will it? Now go and find your uniform. We’ll sort everything physical and then work on a game plan”

“Alright. But can I ask you something first?”

Loki raised an eyebrow, an always ambiguous notion in situations such as this.

“Why have you been looking at houses to buy in Scotland?”

“Peter, I told you to go and get your uniform”

Peter sighed, shrugged, and went to do as he was told.

He was distracted from his Loki-based thoughts when he found the uniform. It felt weird thinking this would be the last term he’d wear it. He’d hated it so much at the start, and he wasn’t exactly a huge fan now, but oddly, he felt almost attached to it. Aside from the hat. He’d never worn that. In fact, the only thing he’d really done with it, aside from hate it, was use it as a frisbee. It made a surprisingly good one in a pinch. He’d worn Flo’s school hat a few times when she’d put it on him, but the girls had straw hats with ribbon, which were quite universal, and even looked cute on some people. A far cry from the horrible little peaked caps the boys had, which suited only the smallest of the first years and exactly five people in Peter’s years group, one of which was Macy. St Hendricks certainly had its downsides, but at least, despite everyone owning them, the hats weren’t strictly enforced. It had saved a lot of embarrassment.

Peter looked at his uniform, specifically the jacket and tie. Come to think of it, they’d both taken quite a beating. He was actually on his third tie: he’d train-tracked his first one so badly that the bottom six inches were unrecognisable as a school tie, and he’d been told he had to either buy another one or go on uniform report, and he’d set the second one on fire with a bunsen burner to set the fire alarm off after a teacher had told him that being a famous persons son didn’t give him any right not to pay attention in class. He was still quite proud of that one. Malaki had taken the blame for him though, so he’d never seen any real repercussions for it.

As for his blazer... well, it was only Loki’s surprisingly perfect sewing and washing skills that had made it last as long as it had. It had been stained with everything you could think of, from blood to poster paint, and somehow still come up clean. It had also suffered it’s fair share of ripped seams and torn lining, and of course the time the back seam had completely given up following a particularly rough drama lesson - another incident which had nearly landed him on uniform report as well as in detention.

It was quite funny, in a way, how he was perceived at that school. At Midtown, he’d been a bit of a loner, a bit of an outcast, but generally a model pupil. At St Hendricks, he was generally considered a hell-raiser - and it was the teachers who had said that first, not him. When he really thought about it, he could almost understand where they were coming from. Malaki aside, they were used to everyone falling into line and behaving like young ladies and gentlemen. So Peter rocking up and throwing tantrums (and fists), catapulting rubbers at the back of Nigel’s head, pushing Malaki into the swimming pool in the middle of lessons, and pulling drainpipes off the wall while retrieving footballs from the roof was probably a bit of a culture shock for them.

Not that everyone seemed to mind. A lot of people seemed to have a bit of a soft spot for him, for whatever reason. He’d even quickly won over the new PE teacher, despite famously being bent over the equipment trolley and paddled with a cricket bat during the teachers first week at the school. Even then, he hadn’t really hit him hard (and nowhere near as hard as he’d hit Nigel, who was by his side being disciplined a little bit too often). N-Pet, as he’d quickly become known, was, along with Mr Musgrove, one of Peter’s biggest defenders. Peter had become very good at using his small and quiet side to his advantage, even to such an extent as causing havoc and running to hide behind a teacher he knew would have his back. Maybe he was a little bastard, Peter thought. But maybe that made sense, considering the school he went to.

Peter took Loki his uniform, but he didn’t stop. He went to sort out his school bag, thinking deeply as he did so. He’d been so sure he’d hate the school, but he didn’t really, not so much. He’d made friends fast enough, and he’d had good times. And weird times. Especially where Nigel was concerned...

Nigel was certainly weird. Him and Peter had essentially been sworn enemies since day one, but, for some reason, Nigel always defended Peter, even covering his back to stop him getting into trouble. And then there was all of their store cupboard encounters. And the time Nigel had asked him to the dance. And that time at Nigel’s when-... Well, Peter didn’t like to think about that. It had ended in an argument anyway, which was very on form. Peter still didn’t know what to make of Nigel, but he was sure Nigel didn’t know what to make of him either. Maybe it was one of those questions that didn’t really need an answer. He didn’t suppose he’d ever see him again after the end of term anyway.

He hoped he’d still see Flo. And Millie. He wasn’t sure about Macy yet, or Malaki. He supposed the next couple of weeks would be a final hurdle where the latter two were concerned.

Loki went to find Peter a little later on.

“I was getting worried” he said. “You just disappeared”

“Sorry...”

“...What are you listening to?”

“...It’s called Black Tables”

Loki sat down beside him on the bed. He knew that look, and he suddenly knew why Peter had been alone in here for the past few hours. Peter kept his eyes on his hands. He’d gone too deep into his thoughts, and he knew making eye contact would be fatal.

“You should try playing this some time” Loki said. “It’s got plenty of piano in it”

Peter nodded slightly. Loki was quiet for a moment, and then he rested a hand on Peter’s.

“Sweetheart”

Peter looked up at him, and burst into tears.

“Oh, sweetheart...”

Loki carefully put his arms round the boy. At first, Peter didn’t move, but he gave in soon enough and he held onto his father as he cried. Loki slowly tightened his loose grip, and Peter cried harder. He rested his cheek against the top of the boys head, and rocked him gently.

The bedroom door burst open, making them both jump.

“Tony! You nearly blew the bloody door off!” Loki scowled.

“Don’t exaggerate” he looked at Peter, snug in Loki’s arms. “Have you got all your stuff ready for school?”

Peter seemed to shrink away from him. He stayed quiet.

“I asked you a question, Peter!” Tony snapped.

“Don’t shout at him!” Loki shook his head disapprovingly and hugged Peter tighter. “It’s all ready; don’t you worry about that”

“Good. What do you want for tea?”

“I hadn’t really thought about it” Loki said. “I’ve got my hands full”

Tony sighed. “What’s up with him now?”

“I don’t know yet”

He held Peter protectively, trying to shield him - but Peter had other ideas.

“You’re what’s wrong!” he suddenly shouted. “You’d know that if you cared”

“Sorry, I’m what’s wrong?” Tony said, shocked. “Don’t be ridiculous!”

“I’m not being ridiculous!” Peter shot back. “You could at least admit to how you’ve been acting!”

He tried to pull away, but Loki held onto him, adjusting his hold slightly.

“Peter, stop it” he said. “This isn’t the time for an argument”

“Well, why not?! When is the time?”

“Peter, I said stop”

Peter went quiet, but growled defensively when Tony sat down next to Loki.

“I think we need to talk, don’t you?” he said. He glanced at Loki. “Just the two of us?”

Peter clung to Loki. He had a bad feeling about this.

“Well... I could always go and get started on tea” Loki said, letting go of Peter.

“No! Don’t go!”

Loki couldn’t ignore the urgency in his voice. “What is it?”

“Please don’t leave me alone with him!” Peter begged, keeping tight hold of Loki’s shirt. “He’s gonna do something to me!”

“Oh for gods sake!” Tony fumed. “You’re being ridiculous! You’re just getting all muddled in that silly little mind of yours”

“Tony! Don’t speak to him like that!”

“Like what?! I thought you were going to sort some food out?”

“I’m not leaving, not when he’s scared”

“He’s not scared; he’s just attention seeking!” Tony insisted. He narrowed his eyes at Peter. “You need to start behaving yourself”

In Peter’s ears, that sounded like a threat.

“See?! He’s gonna hurt me if you leave!”

“I’m not gonna hurt you! And if I was gonna smack you - which I should, considering your attitude as of late - I’d have no qualms about doing it in front of your father”

Peter started crying all over again.

“Oh, that’s it; turn on the water-works”

“Tony, that’s enough!” Loki snapped, pulling Peter close. “You’re upsetting him, and I’m not sure I like the look in your eyes either”

There was a short silence, and Tony stood up.

“I’m gonna get started on tea”

“You do that”

Peter was more than just a little reluctant about going through to the kitchen for tea, but Loki managed to coax him. There was still a heavy atmosphere between the three of them, and Peter’s spidey senses were still giving him grief. As a result, he couldn’t settle. Everything tasted weird, and his throat was tight, so eating wasn’t easy.

About halfway through the meal, Loki excused himself and stood up.

“W-wait, where are you going?!” Peter squeaked, struggling up and scurrying after him.

“Hey, hey, don’t look so scared!” Loki said, stopping him. “I’m just going to empty my bladder: I’m going to do myself an injury if I hold it any longer. Finish your tea”

He carefully detached Peter’s hands from his shirt. Peter watched the door close behind him. Suddenly the kitchen felt a little too bright, and he became hyper-aware of the fact that Tony had been watching him. He swallowed, his mouth feeling and tasting weird, as though he’d just had a nosebleed.

He snapped round quickly when Tony stood up, and took a few steps back.

“I’m just about sick to death of you, young man” Tony growled. “Now, come here!”

Peter shook his head, his pulse beating in his ears, and took another step back.

“Right”

Tony grabbed hold of him. Ordinarily he wouldn’t have been a match for the boy - but all of Peter’s fight seemed to have disappeared, and all he could do was gasp and flinch as Tony tugged him closer.

“I’m sick of all your attention seeking and drama performances. You need to learn how to behave yourself”

Peter tried to say something - anything - but that familiar horrible feeling was welling in his throat, choking his words as though he were talking to a complete stranger. The seconds seemed to be dragging, and he felt hot and sick and helpless, unable to speak, shaking, but hardly able to move. He tried hard to pull free from Tony’s iron grip - and was suddenly smacked, hard. It made him jump and flinch at the same time, and before he’d really comprehended what had happened, he was over Tony’s lap, and he was smacked again. And again. And again.

It hadn’t always hurt this much, Peter was sure of it. And it definitely didn’t use to make him feel sick like this, or set his senses off like this. And he’d never been so overcome with fear as to cause his selective mutism to act against his parents. He completely froze, stuck, unable to even gasp audibly.

But then he heard footsteps. And the door. And then he was suddenly back on his feet - but only just.

“What the hell is going on here?! It’s no wonder he was so scared earlier if this is the way you’ve decided to treat him!” Loki shouted, putting an arm out to support the trembling Peter. “Those DNA results should have strengthened your bond, if anything:- not made you turn against him!”

“This is nothing to do with that!” Tony insisted. “He doesn’t know how to behave! Cutting discipline out of our parenting-”

“We didn’t cut out discipline! We-” he stopped, looking at Peter. “Are you ok?”

Peter shook his head. He suddenly found his feet, and was out of there in a flash. There was a pause, and then Loki picked up where he left off.

“Just because we stopped smacking him, that doesn’t mean we stopped disciplining him, and you know that as well as I do. And that” he said, gesturing. “Was definitely not what we used to do! I saw, and that was a proper wallop; that wasn’t the kind of thing we ever agreed on. Don’t get me wrong, Anthony: I knew you were going to hit him again sometime soon. But I expected a little spanking, not a good attempt at knocking the living daylights out of the poor thing! What the hell were you thinking?!”

“I don’t know! I was angry! He’s been doing my head in!”

“You’re not allowed to pull that card! It’s no excuse for what you’ve just done! You’re angry at yourself; not him!”

“How’d you work that one out?”

“Because I know you, Anthony Edward Stark! And so I should, considering how long we’ve been together. Peter has not done a single malicious thing since we got those DNA results, unlike you, Mister Stark. Ok, maybe he’s done a few bitchy little things, but only in retaliation to the things you’ve done first. And besides, you’re meant to be the grown-up here: why don’t you try to act like it?”

“...I haven’t been that bad”

“Is that so? Why don’t we reflect? How about the day we found out? Not forgetting of course your insensitive crack at my infertility, but how about causing an argument over him moving a tub of coffee, which ended in you slapping him across the face? Or how about ignoring all his calls and texts? Sure, you seemed better after that night away, but then you got back to causing arguments and having a go at him for no reason. And-”

“Ok, ok, I get it!” Tony interrupted. “I’m just stressed”

“Oh, and I’m not? Good god. I’m glad he’s going back to school: it’s probably in his best interests to be away from you right now”

There was a short silence.

“I’m not a bad parent, Loki”

Loki looked at him. He looked at the uncertainty on his face, and the tears in his eyes. He kept looking hard at him, and as soon as Tony started crying, he looked away.

“I’m going to go and check on my son” he said, and left Tony to his own devices.

Loki fully expected Peter to be cuddled up with his elephant, so he was surprised not to see him there. The en suite was empty, as was the bed - both on and under. He stood for a moment, thinking, and then went to his own room, only to find that empty too. He checked the reading nook, and the garden balcony, and then stopped. He knew where to go.

Loki opened the door to the store cupboard by the swimming pool. There, beside the mop buckets under the shelf, was exactly what he was looking for.

“Now, this takes me back” he said gently.

Peter didn’t protest when Loki sat down beside him. He was hugging the May bear, resting his cheek on it’s head. It was made out of a shirt that had been in the box May’s work had given Peter. It usually lived on a shelf, displayed proudly, out of harms way, and Loki had long since learnt how bad a sign it was to find it in Peter’s arms.

“...Do you ever wonder how his dad was with him?” Peter mumbled, breaking a long silence.

Loki paused. “I don’t think all those scars are from adulthood, if that’s what you mean”

“You dad was abusive, right?”

“Odin? Well. Not physically. Mentally, and emotionally, I think... But when your brain is wired as strangely as mine, it’s hard to work out what was wrong and what wasn’t. He was never really a father, not in the right way. I was there for the wrong reasons. He only saved me to use me as a bargaining chip. He never liked me. I don’t care anymore”

“What about your mum?”

“Ah. Well, she was definitely my mother. I suppose a part of me thought she always would be”

“So what happened?”

Loki smiled sadly. “I fell in love. I haven’t seen her since before I moved in with Tony”

“That’s a long time. It’s gotta hurt, right?” he paused. “She wrote to you”

Loki nodded. “She sent a wedding present. From Odin as well, supposedly”

“Did you ever reply?”

“No” Loki sighed. “There comes a time when it just feels pointless. It would be like looking up someone you met once in a pub and trying to have a meaningful conversation”

“Would you see her again? If you had the chance?”

“The way I see it” Loki said. “If she had wanted to stay in my life, she would have made an effort. There’s a lot stopping me from returning to Asgard. Nothing is stopping her from coming to Midgard”

“Does it still bother you?”

“Sometimes”

Peter raised his head, not looking at Loki, but more open now.

“Why do some people have such hard lives?”

“It’s simply the luck of the draw”

“We’ve got dreadful luck”

Loki laughed slightly. “Maybe. But we’ve had some good luck too”

“Maybe...”

“Well, I got to adopt you, didn’t I? Despite the circumstances leading to it, that’s some luck, isn’t it?”

A small smile tugged at Peter’s lips. “Maybe”

Loki looked round the store room. There was time when they spent a considerable amount of time in here together. For whatever reason, after May died, it had become Peter’s hiding place. It had stayed that way for a long time, but now it was a little unusual to find him there, and definitely not a good thing.

“Are you ready to come back upstairs?”

Peter nodded slightly.

“Ok...” Loki picked the boy up carefully, feeling almost as though he’d gone back in time.

Loki sat cross-legged on Tony’s bed, watching him carefully. He was sat looking through a photo album, wet tears still on his face.

“I’ve never been great at the hard stuff, have I? I mean... Even that year he came to stay with us, and you were so ill... I didn’t treat you great then, did I? I was kinda dreadful to you at times. And I cracked after May died. I guess we all did, but still... All that year... Even that first Christmas, I was all cross. Overreacting to the curfew thing a bit, I guess. And then when he had that building site accident, and the way he played up at that party, I got all cross about that too”

“We both got cross about the party. He did show us up a bit”

“Mmm... I was rubbish with the Kindsprengen stuff. Well, not the take-down, but the kid bit, especially that first week... And I guess I’m kinda responsible for your downfall after the IVF thing”

“You didn’t force the bottle into my hand”

“No, but I enabled it. I was too busy drowning my own sorrows to even listen to you, so you just did what I was doing. We basically isolated ourselves together. I was bad with the kid then, too. Said I’d keep visiting even though you were ill and couldn’t. And didn’t... Gave him up... Argued a fair bit last Christmas too...”

“What are you thinking?”

Tony lowered the album and looked at Loki.

“I’ve been really bad lately. I don’t think my meds are working anymore. I don’t think they’ve worked for a while now”

Loki didn’t seem to react, but his eyes moved, and they said everything.

“Tomorrow” Tony said. “You know people will rush me through”

He looked back at the album for a moment, and then closed it carefully. Loki watched him get up and put it back on the special shelf with the wedding album.

“Do you think we should do couples counselling? Or, like, family counselling?”

“I think we’d be better off actually talking to each other before dragging someone else into it”

Tony sat back down beside him. “You want to say something else. I can tell”

Loki took a deep breath. “Maybe it’s just as well I’m infertile”

Completely without warning, both men broke down in tears. As if by magnetism, they found themselves in each others arms, and as horrible as they both felt, it was still good to hold each other.

Peter looked relieved but reproachful when his door opened.

“I thought you weren’t coming”

“I had a few things to sort out. I thought you might have fallen asleep by now”

“I tried, but... I don’t know. Everything hurts and it’s kinda keeping my mind awake”

Loki picked Peter up and sat down with him in his lap. Neither of them said anything for some minutes.

“...Do you want to sleep in my bed tonight?”

Peter nodded.

“Ok... Grab a cuddly toy”

Peter had always liked Loki’s room, and times like this made him regret not taking advantage of being allowed in there so much anymore. It always felt a little ethereal; strange and different, as though it wasn’t really part of the house. It was like a little window into Loki’s mind that showed you what he loved the most, and what made him feel the calmest and safest. It was his comfortable space. Peter couldn’t help but notice how Loki seemed to relax as soon as he closed the door behind them. As though he’d arrived home.

He was quiet. Silent, even. Peter didn’t say anything either. He let Loki set him down on the bed and tuck his toy Peter Rabbit in beside him. He lay there, looking around him while Loki was in the bathroom. Peter liked most everything in this room, from the silken sheets to the family photos, to the old Snoopy on the chair by the wardrobe, to the deep rug by the bed. The only thing he didn’t like was the Betty Boop lamp. None of the little statues bothered him, but the lamp was a big one that was essentially a light up ornament, and it always seemed to watch him. He sat up to look at it - but it wasn’t in it’s usual spot. Looking around, he couldn’t see it on any of the dressers or shelves. He carefully slipped off the bed, curious now - and then froze like a deer in headlights as the en suite door opened.

Loki raised an eyebrow. “Going somewhere, chicken?”

“Your lamp’s gone!”

“Oh? Which one?”

“The Betty Boop on the lamp post one”

“Ah” Loki sighed. “Yes”

“What happened?”

“Well. Your father was showing me his new developments for the Iron Man gauntlets” he said, picking Peter up and putting him back on the bed. “Only it wasn’t perfected, and it malfunctioned a little and fired and... Well. Bye-bye Betty. Beyond repair. Completely shattered”

“That’s awful! Did you cry?”

“Maybe a little” Loki admitted. “So did Tony; he felt awful. He couldn’t find another one online, but I said it didn’t matter either way. Could have been worse, I suppose”

“You really loved that lamp. It took you years to convince him”

“Enough about the lamp, sweetheart. It’s getting on a bit, and you could really do with a good nights sleep” Loki pushed Peter onto his back. “Stay”

Loki turned the night light on and the big light off, and then finally climbed into bed.

“Have you stolen my pig?”

Peter handed it over. “Do I really have to go to school tomorrow?”

“It’s best that you do, darling. No, don’t start fussing. It’s only a few weeks, and then you never have to go again”

“I guess so”

Loki put an arm round Peter, hugging him close. “Goodnight, sweetie”

“Daddy?”

“Mm?”

“You’re the better parent”

Loki closed his eyes. “Go to sleep, chick”

#my writing #fanfiction #mcu fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #frostiron #irondad and spiderson #IT'S BEEN TWO MONTHS #AND I'VE FINALLY UPDATED

2 notes · View notes

tmsbrainrot · 6 years

Text

Daydreamer (Version 1)

Summary: You were perfectly happy to pine after your study buddy, Kim Junmyeon, quietly and without expectation. That was until his roommate, Park Chanyeol, got involved. Appointing himself as your wingman, Chanyeol makes it his mission to get the two of you together. Do you dare get your hopes up? Will Chanyeol’s plan be a success, or will it end in heartbreak?

Genre: College!AU, DrummerYeol!AU, fluff, angst

Word count: 1,879

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | ?

The 20 minute drive to Chanyeol and Junmyeon’s apartment was the most fun you’d had in months. Your nights usually consisted of reading at the park, going home and studying, sleeping, getting woken up by your roommates, yelling at your roommates, then going back to sleep. You were fully aware of how sad that sounded so you didn’t mention it to Chanyeol. Not that you’d had the chance to mention anything to him. He’d talked the entire journey.

First, he’d spent five minutes calling you old for storing your music on CD’s. Apparently you needed to “get with the times” and “stop living in the past”. When he’d accused people like you of destroying iPod and MP3 sales you’d seriously considered pulling over and shoving him out of the car. He had then spent another five minutes lamenting your, quote, “emo 13-year-old” music taste.

“My Chemical Romance broke up in 2013. Get over it already!”

That had been the last straw. You’d exploded and told him to put his music on seeing as though you clearly needed educating on acceptable music. He had completely ignored the sarcasm dripping from your words and had produced a ridiculously tiny MP3 player from his voluminous hoodie pocket. He had also ignored your comment about how the MP3 player looked like a tic tac in his giant hands.

The following ten minutes had consisted of Chanyeol playing a variety of songs and explaining to you in a deadly serious voice that each song held the key to happiness within its melody. He’d explained, in great detail, the meaning of the lyrics for each song. He’d even explained how the instruments came together to produce different sounds and the affect the sounds produced had on the mind and body. It was all very interesting, although you didn’t understand a lot of the jargon he’d used. Still, listening to him speak with such passion was inspiring and left you with a warm feeling deep in your chest.

You’d been strangely saddened when you’d pulled up to his apartment block. The two of you had successfully removed Junmyeon’s bike from where it was crammed in the back seat and Chanyeol had turned to you with a sigh. “I guess this is goodbye.”

You’d laughed. “God, you’re so dramatic.”

“Please,” he’d said, covering his eyes with his hand and sniffling, “don’t make this any harder than it already is.”

Rolling your eyes, you’d got back into the driver’s seat and rolled down your window. “I’ll see you around, you giant baby,” you’d called out, pulling away.

“Miss you already!” he’d shouted back, waving enthusiastically and smiling that toothy smile that you couldn’t help but copy.

It wasn’t until you’d got to your apartment that you realised he had left his MP3 player in the passenger seat. Probably fell out of the cave that he calls a pocket, you thought wryly. Seriously, why does he wear a hoodie two sizes too big? Someone that tall has no business looking so small. Besides, if he’s going for the soft boyfriend look it’s not like he needs help from oversized clothes. Not with those sparkling eyes or adorable ears. Not to mention his fluffy hair and contagious smile... You felt your lips stretch into a grin as you unlocked the door to your apartment, MP3 player tucked into your jacket pocket.

Despite the fact that you had to be up in five hours for work you were filled with excitement. What had started off as an ordinary week was now a week of possibilities. Thanks to Chanyeol your flame of hope was now a raging fire, demanding that action be taken before it consumed you. Your study session with Junmyeon was scheduled for Sunday, giving you six days to come up with a plan of action. Plenty of time.

You’d dreamt up various versions of your confession, however being faced with the opportunity to make those daydreams reality shed light on how outlandish and embarrassing they actually were. You sifted through imagined scenarios as you got ready for bed, discarding the majority of them outright and picking apart the ones you sort of liked until you began to hate them. When you realised you’d been brushing your teeth for a good twenty minutes you decided to give up and tackle the problem again tomorrow.

Junmyeonie ❤ [sent at 10:32am] : morning study buddy! sorry to disturb you when you’re working but my roommate chanyeol told me you helped him out last night with the whole bike thing. can you believe that punk tried to convince me that he bandaged his own hands then rode home by himself? he’s always been a shitty liar. don’t worry, i didn’t beat him up that bad... haha! anyway, i just wanted to say thanks for looking after the kid. if you hadn’t been there he probably would’ve done something stupid and ended up getting seriously hurt. i owe you one!

Junmyeonie ❤ [sent at 10:34am] : btw he keeps asking for your number. says he left something in your car? you mind if i give him your number?

Me [sent at 11:00am] : no worries, i’m on break now anyway :) i couldn’t ignore a person in need. i’m too much of a saint for that. jk lol. you don’t owe me anything. yeah, he left his mp3 player in my car. you can give him my number

Me [sent at 11:01am] : also i didn’t think you were the type to beat up an injured man dr junmyeon! wow, chanyeol was right about you...

Junmyeonie ❤ [sent at 11:02am] : a saint? pfff

Junmyeonie ❤ [sent at 11:02am] : wait, what slander has chanyeol been spreading about me????

Me [sent at 11:03am] : i couldn’t possibly say

Junmyeonie ❤ [sent at 11:03am] : you’ve changed. the daydreamer i know would never keep secrets from their favourite study buddy

Me [sent at 11:04am] : ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Junmyeonie ❤ [sent at 11:06am] : i don’t want to give him your number now. he’s clearly a bad influence

Me [sent at 11:06am] : ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Junmyeonie ❤ [sent at 11:09am] : meanie :(

Unknown [sent at 1:43pm] : y did jun send me a text with this number saying ‘you two deserve each other’???

Me [sent at 3:15pm] : chanyeol?

Unknown [sent at 3:16pm] : doc???

Me [sent at 3:17pm] : yeah lol

Chanyeol [sent at 3:17pm] : oh shit waddup

Me [sent at 3:19pm] : lmao he actually gave you my number

Meme boi Chanyeol [sent at 3:20pm] : was he not supposed to??

Meme boi Chanyeol [sent at 3:20pm] : y??

Meme boi Chanyeol [sent at 3:20pm] : do u not like me??? :’(

Me [sent at 3:21pm] : dude chill. he said he wasn’t going to that’s all

Meme boi Chanyeol [sent at 3:22pm] : so u do like me????????

Me [sent at 3:23pm] : you can’t see me right now but i’m rolling my eyes

Meme boi Chanyeol [sent at 3:23pm] : i’ll take that as a yes

Meme boi Chanyeol [sent at 3:40pm] : what r u doing?

Me [sent at 3:43pm] : i’m at work

Meme boi Chanyeol [sent at 3:44pm] : shit, my bad. i’ll stop bothering u

Me [sent at 3:47pm] : it’s cool. i’ll text you when i’m off

Meme boi Chanyeol [sent at 3:47pm] : :)

Once your shift ended you gathered your things from the staff locker, pulling on your jacket and patting the pocket to make sure Chanyeol’s MP3 player was still there, safe and sound. You’d messaged him as soon as you’d clocked out and he’d messaged you back immediately. The speed at which he replied was both endearing and a little worrying. He must be pretty attached to his phone if he can reply so quickly, you thought.

You’d arranged to meet at the park before heading to class so you could return his belonging. When you pulled up to the car park you saw him sitting on the curb, his long legs folded awkwardly and his hands on his knees. He was wearing the same black cap and hoodie, although he had traded the skinny jeans for sweatpants and the sneakers for the ugliest white shoes you’d ever seen. His head snapped up as you parked and he unfolded his limbs with visible difficulty, pushing himself up from his sitting position and loping over to you.

“Hey there,” he said, beaming at you. You grinned back, looking up at him and noticing a dimple had appeared on his left cheek. Your gaze rose to meet his sparkling eyes and you felt a sudden surge of affection. Before you knew it you had wrapped your arms around him in a quick hug. He let out a small gasp, stiffening at your touch.

Stepping back hastily you felt your cheeks begin to heat up. “I, ah, sorry,” you said falteringly. “I don’t know why I did that.”

Chanyeol didn’t answer, he just chuckled and patted your head. “No worries, doc. I was just surprised. Usually I’m the one initiating the hug.”

You laughed awkwardly. “Yeah, I bet. You seem like the touchy feely type.”

“Is that a compliment?” he asked, head tilting to the side and smirk clear on his face.

“Sure,” you said, his laid-back attitude easing your awkwardness. “It’s cute. You’re like a golden retriever.”

He pursed his lips and furrowed his brow. “You know, I feel like you’re making fun of me, but at the same time you’re saying things that make me all warm and fuzzy inside. It’s confusing.”

“My apologies,” you said, grinning. “I’ll try to speak plainly so you can understand.”

“Ah,” he said, raising a finger, “now I know you’re making fun of me.”

“You’re welcome.”

Chanyeol’s eyes narrowed and the ghost of a mischievous smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. “You’re playing a dangerous game, Daydreamer.”

You shrugged airily. “Yeah yeah. Do you want your portable music device or not. I got a class to go to.”

“Portable music device? Are you trying to hurt me?” Drama queen Chanyeol had returned.

Rolling your eyes you pulled the MP3 out of your pocket and held it out to him. As he reached out to take it you notice his hands. “I see you changed the bandages. Do they hurt?”

He shook his head. “Junmyeon helped me. He said you did a really good job of fixing them up. Very professional.”

Your heartbeat quickened and once again a blush spread to your cheeks. “Oh,” was all you managed to reply.

A strange look passed over Chanyeol’s face, too quickly for you to make out the meaning behind it before it was replaced with his usual half-grin.

You cleared your throat meaningfully. “Well then, I’ve got to go. Don’t want to be late to immunology.” You turned to leave, opening the driver’s side door.

“Wait,” Chanyeol said, grabbing your arm. He seemed to be debating something. He kept opening his mouth to speak then closing it, frowning.

“What is it?” you asked, becoming increasingly nervous.

Chanyeol huffed, pulled his cap off, ran his fingers through his hair, placed the cap back on his head, then nodded to himself.

“Are you in love with Junmyeon?”

#chanyeol fanfic #chanyeol fluff #chanyeol angst #junmyeon fanfic #exo fanfic #proofreading is for the weak #also an update for sos will be coming soon~

22 notes · View notes