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whimsyswastry · 1 year

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Total # of completed works?

Honestly? Zero.

Total word count?

83.787! Last year I was so excited to have written 17k and this year O_O over 80k!!!

Fandoms written in?

Mass Effect (fShenko), Andromeda (mReyder), Greedfall (fDeSardet/Kurt), and a VERY small amount of Dragon Age (Cullevelyan)

Looking back, did you write more, less, or about how much you thought you would?

Way more. In the beginning of the year, it was like...April and I hadn’t even written 2k words yet. The fact that I wrote more this year than 4x what I wrote in 2021 is shocking and fills me with great joy and motivation to keep going.

Favorite story (of your own) this year?

Operation Leviathan. It was a plot bunny that struck me when I was watching Underwater in 2020, but I just didn’t have the oomph to do anything about it. But somehow, the flood gates opened about three days into NaNo and I wrote about 95% of it in a month. I have a couple thousand words left to wrap it up and some editing! I’m so excited to share it with the community.

Any writing risks this year?

I didn’t really write anything that risky. I tried a different tense, which wasn’t really my cup of tea. Well, that’s not true. I really enjoyed writing in present tense, but when I got into a flow state, it would automatically revert back to past tense. Which made editing a nightmare.

I should really keep trying though. I love present tense, especially for thrillers.

Any fanfic or original fic goals for the new year?

My goal almost every single year is to do make some sort of headway with Unharrowed. It’s a prequel to Inquisition that has been cooking since the first time I played it. But I can’t seem to ever make any progress. I’ve recently started revamping the lead character completely to give her a stronger (both in terms of literature and literally) personality. I’m hopeful that this will solve a lot of the issues I’ve been having with the story.

Most popular story of the year?

Masquerade & Mysteries, by almost 2x as many as my other stories. It’s my greedfall prequel, that tackles the class divide between Kurt and Lucette. It’ll be 7 chapters all said and done. Five and half of them are already completed...I’m just slow (and not very confident) at writing the smut.

Most under-appreciated story (of your own) by the fandom?

In the Flicker -- I understand why it didn’t gain much traction. AO3 is often very ship-centric and I wasn’t sure how to tag this. It was by-and-large a character study as I played with writing in first person. The story starts with a Ryder/Gil pairing, but the end game ends up being Ryder/Reyes. (Don’t worry, it’s not at all anti-Gil, it’s just how the story unfolded). However, I’ve only posted the first chapter, so I didn’t want to tag it as /Gil but I also didn’t want to tag it as /Reyes since neither is technically true.

Hopefully once the story is completed and posted, I’ll be able to tag it more appropriately and it will find it’s audience.

Most fun story to write?

Operation Leviathan! It had been so long since I felt a flow-state while drafting. It was freeing to just word vomit on a page and feel decent enough about what I’d written to keep it to edit down the road instead of trashing it immediately.

Most unintentionally telling story?

Probably Unharrowed. One aspect of the story is coming to terms with a body (or in this case, a magic) that doesn’t cooperate with you and how distressing that can be. I didn’t intentionally mean to parallel my experience, but it just kinda...happened. At least in my notes it did lol I still haven’t drafted it.

Biggest disappointment?

The Hot Zone. So far it’s been well received, which is awesome. But I was 14k words into the story and suddenly it was like hitting a cement wall. I just...couldn’t write it anymore. No matter how hard I tried. I’m giving myself a break and will come back to it as soon as I can because I am so excited for this story.

Biggest surprise?

My word count. Writing in 2020 and 2021 was like pulling teeth. It was torture just squeezing out a couple thousand words over the course of the entire year. But this year, the flood gates just opened. It was like a huge weight had lifted off of me and I realized how much pressure I’d been putting on myself to engage in a hobby that’s supposed to be fun. I’m glad I’ve finally found my way back to enjoying the process.

Favorite part of fandom this year?

The entire Dragon Age fandom coming back to life after Absolution was released. My dash had been a trickle of DA content until December, and then suddenly it was all DA all the time. It was great to find new artists to follow and share as well!

Tagging || A large portion of my writing moots have already completed this or something very similar. So if you’re still reading it at this point, consider yourself tagged! And please tag me, I’d love to read about how your year went! 💛

#whimsy writes #fic review 2022

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gracefeehan · 7 years

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Reviews: Ghost in the Shell (2017)

The first of our official proper-serious-like blog posts! Whilst I’ve written a few personal posts already, I haven’t actually put up anything meaningful; now, we have a great opportunity to get started properly, since Adam and I went to watch Ghost last Friday. We saw it with an old friend of his (who seemed to have a pretty positive experience of it) and - speaking for myself here - kept our expectations pretty low.

First of all, this won’t be a long review. Mainly because I’ve already found a perfect review by Cassandra Khaw at Ars Technica that expresses most of what I felt the film got wrong. Also, I’d like to clarify that whilst I’m a big fan of the original film (and some of the manga), I haven’t seen the sequel anime series’ nor researched the world in-depth.

Spoilers below the image!

Honestly? I didn’t hate this film. I did feel, however, that it sucked most of the life out of the material it was trying to remake (ironic for a film about ghosts in shells); the plot was almost entirely different. As Khaw analyses (and Adam can quote me on this, I said the exact same thing as we walked out the cinema), it’s so Americanised; the shift of focus to the Major’s backstory (even though she was played as having little emotion in the first half, and only slightly more depth in the second) and the use of Japanese culture merely as an additional motif (rather than a grounding force as it is in the original) evaporate what was already there. It became another boring Hollywood action-cyberpunk movie, instead of a conceptual, philosophical thinkpiece scattered with good action scenes and a sense of building tension. In fact, the loss of tension was what cut it for me. Where was the fear that people can be hacked? Bits of them replaced like code on our computers? Sure, it was discussed in the film and used as plot devices - but it wasn’t the bedrock of what the film was questioning. It briefly flickered over what the original broke into.

The most interesting parts of the original story certainly centre around the cyberization of society - the fact that many people now have the capacity to neutrally interface with networks at will. Brain-hacking is a thing (and is a primary threat in the original film, with less focus in the remake) and being a complete cyborg is a thing - such as the Major is (this thankfully at least comes primary to the new film). In the remake however, the nuances of this and the sheer devastation that just isn’t followed through on - the key scene with the garbage truck driver is far too short and his later reaction to his false memories just isn’t impactful at all. Little details like this mean that the technological ethics questions from the old (including merging with AI) are so watered down in the new it feels boring. (I’ll highlight the term americanisation again, for emphasis).

There were also times when the film’s philosophy contradicted itself. Now, I understand that this happens in plenty pieces of media - and isn’t necessarily a crime in itself when used correctly or for irony etc. However, this telling of Ghost revolved around the concept of ‘your memories do not make you who you are, it is your deeds that do that’. Then, throughout the film, demonstrates the complete opposite - Major searches for her lost memories, and when she regains them these lead to her changes in behaviour. In fact, the whole film revolves around who she is as a person, not what she does. It’s shallow and doesn’t even seem to be doing it ironically.

The visuals were stunning - that I can say with a positive note. I was very impressed with the world they’d built up, and I honestly wanted to give a big round of applause to whoever was the art director on the project. The stylisation was well executed and the soundtrack (despite glaringly missing some great pieces of music from the original) was pretty okay to compliment. ScarJo got better as the film progressed, but was playing (intentionally or unintentionally, I know not which) Kusanagi* as if she were a robot.

Even in the first few pages of the manga, we see plenty of evidence that Mokoto isn’t lifeless. Then again, the manga looks more at Section 9 as a whole in their goal of fighting crime and cyberthreats - which is a different kettle of fish to the films.

Now, Kusanagi in the original film and in the manga I’ll admit are different - but even so, they both have more character than she seemed to have in the 2017 adaptation. This is a huge, huge shame. Perhaps it’s down to lack of time - it’s only an hour and a half film, and they can’t get everything in there. In fact, they probably should have had less in it. Does anyone find a backstory film that interesting these days? I watched Doctor Strange shortly after that for the first time also, and that was even more of a disappointment (again, despite fantastic visuals). Don’t get me started on that one too.

All in all, the only way I could excuse the film by the end of it (in the usual, intense post-observation analysis Adam and I share) was that it surely must be a prequel movie. Though they had taken shots and scenes and face-lifted them from the animated film into this one, it ended in such a way that the story of the animated film must follow on from this one. Which...potentially justifies it a little? I can’ t decide whether to be easier on it than I have been here, but hopefully I wasn’t entirely negative about it. Because, at least to a degree, it was very watchable - and if you want more discourse on it, the review I linked earlier is pretty great in my opinion. I’ll insert Adam’s comments too (if he wants to make any) under here at a later point.

*don’t even get me started on the poor excuses they gave in the narrative to whitewash this film.

#ghost in the shell #ghost #major kusanagi #mokoto kusanagi #film review #2017 movies #2017 films #tech #technology #cyberpunk #review #reviews #sci-fi #sci-fi film #cyberpunk film #culture #anime #japanese #seifely

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inanismortem · 7 years

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August (I)

Hm, so I don’t know yet if I’ll do my average 1.5k - 3k worded chapters or I’ll do monstrous chapter of at 50k or more for each part of this story because it takes course over roughly a year and I plan to be really detailed about it because it all counts.

I also feel like this is different than how I usually write, it feels super easy and good for me but I have no idea yet :D

Oh geez, SUPER OUT OF ORDER (it’s 7th in line) bleh this will all be super confusing but I’m hoping this will help unblock the prequels/spinoffs.

"So," Nora drawled, playing with her pen. "Anything in particular you're planning for your birthday?" Roxanna shook her head, leaning back against her chair, flipping through some cold cases Lana had asked to her to look at.

"Probably... Treating it like any other normal night." Quite frankly, she was a little surprised that Nora and the others even remembered her birthday. They weren't so close that it was mandatory but it was nice she supposed.

"You're turning twenty one! Legal drinking age!" Ashton protested, rolling past them in his chair.

"I'll pop some champagne and get drunk out of my mind then," Roxanna replied dryly. She wasn't going to of course, it was a waste of time and not worth the pain that came afterwards and besides, she had never liked alcohol in the first place.

Being old enough to legally drink it didn't impact her at all. She'd done it illegally before, what difference did it make?

"I'm pretty sure Zane would love to serve you your first legal drink," Ashton coaxed, sliding back to a stop next to Nora. "Plus, fun! Fun times!"

Roxanna bit back a snort. Alcohol was only good for numbing the pain when it got unbearable. She found nothing fun about it. She didn't even know if she had any other alcohol other than tequila, rum or vodka in her house.

Plus, her definition of 'fun times' widely differed from Ashton's. She would most likely be helping Drew clean up messes if she went along.

"What did you do last year?" Delancey wondered and Roxanna shrugged.

"Stayed home, read some books, watched some tv. There's really nothing to celebrate." Nothing she wanted to celebrate anyways.

There was no point. It was the same as any other day, she'd get older, she'd work, wonder how the others were faring and she'd be closer to her end.

Her end.

It seemed like eternity to her but it probably wouldn't be very long for the others.

Roxanna thought quietly, Nora and Ashton bickering in the background.

Maybe she would visit Isla's grave. She wasn't sure if she was welcome to, she hadn't even gone to the funeral and had never even left flowers for her former best friend.

But still, she itched to talk to her, even if it was just a gravestone and Isla had probably been reincarnated already.

Maybe she would visit-

She immediately cut off the thought.

She wasn't welcome at the fey mansion anymore. She wasn't sure she ever had been but she was certain she wouldn't be well received.

They knew she was alive, if they had wanted her back, they would have asked. They never hesitated in asking.

And maybe, it was just the way it was meant to be because she had never fit in, she was never meant to.

"Yoohoo," Ashton called softly, waving a hand in front of her face, a look of concern flashing across his face. Roxanna jerked out of her thoughts, flying back to the present.

She blinked rapidly, shaking her head frantically.

"Yes?"

"You've been reading the same page for five minutes," Nora pointed out and Roxanna hastily flipped the page. "Are you sure you're alright? You've been spacing out a lot recently. Especially after..." After you saw Geraldine and Leah.

Roxanna laughed, making an effort to make sure it didn't sound too careless. She was grateful that Nora worried but being concerned for her wouldn't benefit Nora in any way.

"Thinking, Green. Did they reinterview the wife? Ever?" Nora raised an eyebrow, bending over to take a look at the file.

"No, why?"

"Her airtight alibi is..." As Roxanna rattled off on the flaws she had gleaned, she let her thoughts wander again.

Kastor had been kind to her so far, she was living comfortably, not happily but comfortably. It wasn't home, really, she didn't think of anything of home anymore but it was what she had.

Drew had been accepting, so has the rest of the little group but she couldn't shake the feeling that she was just intruding. She got their jokes, regularly spent time with them and did everything friends did but it didn't feel real. She wasn't part of their circle as hard as much they tried it include her and she, tried to fit in.

She was just a visitor, a passing acquaintance.

Not much could feel real after coming back from the dead she supposed, but for someone who had had a very firm grip on reality and essentially understood things that could be understood thoroughly, the feeling was foreign and even though she adapted easily, it was unsettling.

She hated the feeling of not being in a zone where she had some semblance of control.

"Roxanna," Drew's voice startled her and she whipped around, barely able to stop from lashing out from surprise. "Phone call."

"For... Me?" Not a lot of people called her. Calls were reserved for people outside of the city, everyone knew where to find her and when but she didn't have much people outside of Kastor that would want to speak to her.

"It's Phoenix."

Roxanna started to reach for the phone before she halted, her poker face firmly in place. She wasn't sure what she wanted to do.

She had barely even spoken to Phoenix after the... Incident.

Predictably, he has been mad, no, furious, not only because she hadn't confided in him or their siblings, but because she had told River, someone that hadn't been all that trustworthy for most people back then.

And she couldn't help feel that she damaged River and Phoenix's relationship in some way, asking River to keep such a heavy secret from someone he cared so much about, essentially making River choose between helping her and being true to her brother.

She hasn't damaged their relationship really, that was sugar coating the results, she had nearly destroyed it. Phoenix wasn't hurt easily but she knew River had unintentionally tore a ragged wound in Phoenix's heart.

"If you don't want to talk to him," Drew murmured comfortingly. "I could tell him."

Roxanna shook her head and took the phone from Drew, quickly retreating to the break room. Leaning against the door, she sighed heavily before bringing the phone to her ear.

"Hello?" She winced as her voice cracked, nervousness thrumming through her body, leg jumping and down.

"Roxanna." Phoenix's voice was warm, welcoming but it did nothing to soothe her. She knew he was still hurting, she hadn't even apologized and even though he had never asked, she owed him one along with a explanation.

"Phoenix, how are you?" Her voice was uncharacteristically high, cracking every few words.

Control was nowhere to be found.

"I'm good," Phoenix hummed cheerfully, as if her stuttering and being nervous was normal. "How about you?"

Roxanna let out a shaky breath. "I'm fine. They're treating me very well here."

"Roxanna," Phoenix sounded a little stern. "'Fine' means many things."

"I'm fine, really." She was fine, physically. Mentally was another matter, mentally was always another matter, it was so complicated with no set or certain answer, different for each person and quite frankly, she wasn't sure if she had ever been fine, mentally.

"Roxanna-"

"Is something wrong?" Roxanna redirected. Phoenix didn't just ever call out of the blue for no reason, it wasn't him, he probably had a request or-

"I just wanted to hear you voice," Phoenix admitted quietly. "I miss you."

"Oh..."

"It's not any less lively here, it's just, it feels a little more empty." Phoenix sounded wistful.

"Ah," Roxanna finally managed to bring her voice back to acceptable tone. "I..." Miss you guys too.

The words got stuck in her throat, she didn't know why and her voice was back to the unstable high pitched tone.

"Um... You're welcome here anytime, despite what others say." Roxanna's leg started bouncing again and she let out a nervous laugh without even thinking about it.

"I um, don't think that's particularly true for Leah." Or most of them. Phoenix went silent before he sighed mournfully.

"Leah said you weren't welcome to come back, didn't she?"

"Yes." Among other things.

"Geraldine misses you. You were one of the only ones she trusted fully."

Roxanna recalled Geraldine's pained expression, the thin press of her lips as she turned away without saying a word.

"I don't think..." She trailed off, feeling the urge to cry all of a sudden. "I don't think she does anymore."

"Miss you? Or trust?"

Roxanna bit her lip and felt a tear trace down her face.

"Both," she barely managed to get out, wincing as if someone had punched her in the gut because that was what it truly felt like.

She had been pushing those thoughts to the back of her head for a while, ever since they had seen each other again, trying to distance herself, trying to tell herself that it wasn't true but now, it glaringly obvious that it was.

And it hurt, the pain she'd been staving off shattering her poorly built walls, rushing back in.

"That's not-"

"Phoenix," she interrupted him, her hand trembling and she tried to concentrate on something, something to keep her grounded. "I have to go."

"Roxanna-"

"It was nice t-talking to-" She couldn't finish her sentence, ending the call as fast as she could, pressing the end call button as hard as she could. The phone fell from her loose grip and she slid to the floor, a quiet sob escaping her before she buried her face into her hands. Her head throbbed, her heart was constricting and she couldn't breathe.

"Roxanna?" Nora called from the other side of the door. "You alright in there?"

"I... No," Roxanna gasped out.

"Open up, I could-"

"No," Roxanna quickly cut her off. "Please, I just... I just need... Some..."

"Roxanna," Nora stopped trying to open the door, her voice gentle but commanding. "You're having a panic attack again."

And somewhere where her rationality still existed, Roxanna knew Nora was right but she shredded the rationality and turned to her instincts that would ultimate destroy whatever sensibility she had left.

"N-No I-I'm-" Her tears blurred her vision and she shook her head frantically even if Nora couldn't see. "I-I'm fi-fine!"

"Roxanna-"

"Please," she whimpered. "Please, just leave me alone!"

She clapped her hands over her ears and hunched over, curling into a ball. She didn't want to listen to anyone, she didn't want talk to anyone, she just wanted to-She didn't know what she wanted to do but, but-

Reality stung and maybe she hadn't noticed this before because she was so unfeeling but it was terrible and it made her feel like-She couldn't describe it and perhaps-

She was drowning in her thoughts and voices that had haunted her head recently but had quieted down for a bit returned a tenfold and then it was torture, she couldn't tell what was the difference between reality and hallucinations anymore.

"Roxanna," Drew called, might've called, Roxanna wasn't sure because for a moment she heard Dark and then a slew of accusations from her siblings as she thought the others were trying to talk to her but all she heard was her siblings, her old friends and the other fey.

It was a multitude of voices rising in crescendo, all of them blurring into each other, crashing down on her and Roxanna just wanted everything to be quiet again.

#Roxanna Hathaway #Nora Green #Drew Ng #Delancey Hutch #Ashton Larrson #writing

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