#and i thought i couldn't be more gay

[aquilamage]

bad and naughty iterators get put in the microwave to atone for their crimes

#or: Gay Baby Jail #an aquila original #wet beast saga #finally finished the followup of my thought about five pebbles looking like a little finger puppet #it's not great given I have to make up the shapes myself and I am not a pattern-maker so this is the one pic you get #because the phrase would not leave my head #(I did try to get a photo through the window but I couldn't get more than a colored blur of it so) #nice not to have that project hanging over me unfinished anymore though! #and now I can give him the catholic saint treatment and put him back in there every time the game doesn't cooperate with me

[crescentfool]

having the hc that minato is ace is incredibly funny sometimes when you think about how ryoji is oh so very bi because it's like. "ah. death stole my ability to be attracted to people," in the same way that ryoji stole minato's eye color and energy level. like wow, thanks ryoji, you just keep finding things to steal from minato!

#persona 3 spoilers #minato arisato #hc and au nonsense #lizzy speaks #happy international asexuality day to my fellow aces out there i hope you know that you are loved!!! 🎊🎉🥳 #i like viewing minato with the lens of him being gay / ace. esp bc it stems from my own experiences so it's fun to look at- #him from that perspective even if that's not what was intended by atlus y'know? #and im sure others have other hcs from me that are informed by their own life experiences and i think that's great ^_^ #something that i found interesting while playing FES was how. stilted? minato's animations felt when hugging the girls #you could definitely go with the perspective that it's a graphical limitation or they didn't have time to polish the animations #and that's def true!! but sometimes i see the hug @ yakushima beach + the other hugs and then i compare it to the sou/yo hug in p4 #and there's like... a noticeable difference to me with how intimate and close together the hugs are... #that said i do know that the animations for reload are updated and the hugs are much more natural (good on them tbh!) #the other thing is (pensive sigh). the way you couldn't reject any of the girls when doing their social links in FES #objectively speaking i'm glad that they did away with that and i like how the rejections were handled in reload. it feels naturally written #but also a part of me enjoyed looking at the “hey atlus what the FUCK” moment and thought of how to interpret it differently #specifically with the idea of minato having like.. little to no autonomy and kind of going along with the relationship #it kind of reminded me of myself tbh with like going along with the rship without considering what you want bc #it's what others want or expect out of you... LOL. i dont think atlus intended for someone to interpret it this way but #eh i think that's the fun part of hcs and looking at characters with certain lenses! #regardless of how you perceive minato i do think there's something to be said about him being the kind of guy who molds himself- #into someone that is needed. not wanted. but needed. important distinction here. #the one caveat my brain runs into when im like “minato is ace!” is when i remember thanatos exists and i go #“you know what these ideas can exist simultaneously” GKLHFHDFHD when in doubt schrodinger's headcanons #anyway that's all i've had this thought in my brain in awhile and haven't sat down to share it properly until now 👍 #have an excellent weekend everyone !!! lizzy loves you all lets all nurture our inner yippee!!! 🥺💙

[unloneliest]

the problem of the matter is i did internalize so much of what ex friend believed about me. even though i knew he was wrong and knew what was happening and tried to stop it and if i took more action to stop it would have been abusing power i held in a way i couldn't live with myself for.

#A BAD PERSON TRYING TO RUIN YOUR LIFE WOULD'VE GOTTEN YOU FIRED AND EVICTED IN WINTER IN ALASKA YOU MOTHERFUCKER. WHICH I DID NOT DO #he was renting a room from my dad. for cheaper than he wouldve been able to find anywhere else. his brother was too #his brother didn't pay rent for over 6 months and my dad just forgave him the debt because my dad knew how much of a difference it wouldve #made when he was that age. and i had told him ex friend was family to me & my dad applied that to the brother too. bc he is a good person. #and one of the strongest parts of my support system. and i didn't say a word to him about what was happening until i knew he already had a #plan for when he would be ending ex friend's lease. so there would be no subconscious impact on ex friend's housing either #mgmt at work straight up asked me if i thought ex friend should be fired immediately multiple times and i'm in retrospect livid they put me #in that position but told them to go by the strike system in the employee handbook and to follow policy that ex friend knew perfectly. that #it couldn't be on me as acting assistant manager to choose #and after 10 months of workplace harassment i got a different job to save my life. ex friend didn't get fired. #he did saw trap shit to my brain!!!!!! jesus christ #he moved cross country to live with his long time gf he called his wife despite never having met irl. to a way more conservative state. #despite being gay. and she left him this summer lol #hadn't checked his twitter in over a year when it got pulled up frm an old link and i saw that. and when he was already at a low point too #me voice. oh no who could've seen this coming. from how you behave in every relationship in your life #may delete this in the morning. but i have to talk about it sometimes #i'm never reaching out for closure both bc he wouldn't give me any and because i know it would trigger him and i don't intentionally trigge #people. unlike him :) #vampire pit #like. i have to talk about it sometimes. i have to talk about it. #jam posts

[alexvacice]

Fellas is it gay to murder your fianceé so you can lie in bed next to your bestfriend/worst enemy while crying and traumatizing each other for the rest of your lives?

#dostoevksy #the idiot #prince myshkin #bro i am not okay after that ending #I thought it couldn't get more homoerotic but that was just straight up gay gay homosexual gay #i'm unable to process this #spoilers

[hexados-on-a-string]

spectragus dont get enough credit for being a sun and moon ship but like. destructive sun and moon ship. sun and moon ship but they're the forces of nature the sun and moon actually are. the sun is harsh and relentless and unpredictable in its evil but also it's kindness, the moon is sharp and cold and cruel, a harsh light that doesn't allow you peace, but can also guide you, a light in the darkness. even on nights with a new moon, with no light in the sky, the moon is always reflecting the sun, and it'll be that way until they come to their end.

#spectragus give me a dopamine high that any sort of drug couldn't even come close to giving me #its the loyalty. its the seeing each other at their worst and still staying. #its the being the only person still around who knows and understands what youve been through #its the being so important to each other's characters that u cant mention one without recognising the impact the other has on them #i dont rlly do shipping unless its funny but also im a huge gus fan so like. yea. plus my view on romance is a bit all over the place anyway #something something my skrunkles deserve complicated relationships that are more than romantic but something else #its the trust thats the most important thing to me. trust and loyalty and devotion and #im sorry but i would have exploded if i like. didn't write down these thoughts #anyways fucked up gay people who are a package deal and that is a threat thats them #ik the majority of my posts are hee hee funnie and i usually dont take things too seriously #but these two have taken up part of my brain permanently since i was 8. like. they just live there. rent free. #i am like rabid rn. i am feral and i am insane and i am crazy and there are so many things wrong with me #i cant even write down all my fuckin thoughts there's so many my brain is going to Explode pray for me #idk if u understand how important it is to me the times they show kindness even while at their worst #they're not good people but they have people they care about and they care abt each other and that matters SO much #i take 0 criticism on my posts i only take cash. however there is no possible criticism to be made bc i am RIGHT #also this all kinda sparked from me getting obsessed with a certain kh character who has a connection to the moon #who is also one of my favourite characters ever #and if u know who it is and u also like him ur very cool #im not tagging this w character tags. im like. very shy. but #i love gus i love spectra i love spectragus #anyways see u next time where i should hopefully have art maybe potentially #i found the brushes i used to use back when i did lineless art so i am rlly happy

[airenyah]

💌 Send this to the twelve nicest people you know or who seem to have a good heart and if you get five back you must be pretty awesome. 💌 🥰🥰

Hi dear @airenyah! I miss your Sana Bakkoush header but will recognize your BBS icon and your kind online voice anywhere! 😍 Accompanying this Ask with good wishes for a beautiful springtime day, to one of the nicest people I know who also has a kind and generous heart! 💖

awwwww that's such a sweet thing of you to say 🥺🥺🥺

i saw this ask first thing in the morning after i woke up and it had me all kinds of 🥰🥰🥰

i too miss my sana bakkoush header (she looks so cute in that shot)!! usually i'd just change my icon but this is the first time since i've made this blog a decade ago that i can't change my icon over my header, because otherwise @ranchthoughts and i wouldn't have matching icons anymore and that thought hurts me more than saying goodbye to sana after 7 years 😔💔

#sana has served my blog well but now.. it is time 💔 #i think sana was my first real gay crush?? #except i thought i was straight and kinda just ignored it as i obsessed over isak and even's relationship djcjcjfjc #and i was really attached to the sana header bc of that and i just couldn't bring myself to change it even when i stopped being into skam #and started falling more and more into (thai) bl world #and then i developed a crush on an irl girl from my uni (rip) #and i actually THOUGHT about changing my header when i first watched mafia the series back in september #but at that point i struggled even more to change it bc it felt like it was proof that i'd liked girls too for much longer than i'd realized #bc i'd had that sana header for so long and i was so attached to it (she's INSANELY cute in that header) and so yeah... djfjfjcj #but then i forgot to save my header in my april fool's prank stress and that felt like it was the universe telling me ''it is time'' #''get a new header. this is your moment'' so here we are with my new mafia the series header featuring my boy joong archen djfjfjiv #considering i call myself a bad buddy blog in ''its joongdunk era'' i should have probably gone with a joongdunk header #so my icon + header would represent both the bad buddy blog and the joongdunk era djfjfjic #but i GOTTA promote mafia the series bc it's an actual GEM of a show. easily my fave non-bl series #it had me in tears when i watched it to the point my mom commented on how she could hear my laugh in my room gkfjfjjf #asks #also can i just say... i adore this fandom so much 🥺🥺🥺 #everyone here in our little tumblr corner is so sweet and nice and i just adore all of you sooooo so much 🥺💗💗💗

[whatkindofnameisella]

fucking hate this dumbass chivalry patience burrich love triange IT'S GOING THE WRONG WAY!!! BURRICH IS SUPPOSED TO BE GAY FOR CHIVALRY!!!! ROBIN HOBB WHAT ARE YOU DOING HOMEGIRL!!!!!

#i love u for your plot but babygirl. you are not very good at romance. #idk i just think that part of what makes patience's character so interesting is that she had and lost this fairytale romance. that chivalry #loved her more than anything and that's why he abdicated and that's why they moved away and that's why he died. he couldn't have acted on #behalf of love anymore than he did and it still wasn't enough. you know. and this burrich thing just feels like it depletes that. #rrrrrrrgh #assassin's apprentice #rote #look me in the eyes and tell me that when burrich was affronted that patience gave fitz the earring you didn't think it was because he was #gay for chivalry. look me in the eyes and tell me you didn't think that. yeah that's what i fucking thought.

[luckless-bitch]

i've watched to the bone because i have a restrictive eating disorder and an internet connection, and, though i've expressed criticisms toward the movie in this app before, i would be able to ignore most of my problems with it if they hadn't managed to come up with THE most annoying character of all time. you're trying to tell me a straight white twink with boundary issues is opposite to lily collins and i'm supposed to root for them??????? AND HE'S BRITISH TO TOP IT ALL OF??????????????? be fucking for real.

#they was too afraid of making her gay because god forbid #we get a portrayal of a person with an ed that isn't a yt cishet girl #and they couldn't give us a masculine dude because eds are for girls and gays obviously #except he ain't gay #which idk if I find funny or disturbing #the only person of color in that entire movie is a girlie with binge eating disorder #and though we need more bed rep desperately #maybe oh idk #portray how prevalent eds are for black girlies growing up in yt communities #or with latinas that were sexually abused #or how gigantic eds are within East Asian groups #ANYTHING #stuff that's actually realistic and true to real life #not only about suburban upper middle class Americans come on #to the bone #4n4mi4 #4n4r3x14 #4n0r3×14 #4na thoughts #4n4m1a

[tiny-tigers]

#and me who thought rugby couldn't be more gay #I love it #I just wish J was there with fred uh

[a9saga]

what about that episode of the golden girls where blanche's daughter wants to undergo artificial insemination because she wants to have a baby even though there isn't a man or anyone she wants to have one with, meanwhile dorothy's mother sophia is trying to avoid going to the doctor against dorothy's wishes. and it takes some time for blanche to come around on the idea of her daughter having a baby alone, but when she finally comes around to going to the sperm bank if the gals will go with her, sophia's like "ohhh boy we're goin to the sperm bank 😈😈😈" and dorothy's like "you're not going anywhere if you're not going to the doctor first" and sophia huffs like "😒 all right fine! I'll go to the doctor but this better be one great sperm bank 😤"

#ive always thought it was pretty cool how the show chose to represent blanche's daughter choosing to have a baby that way #people talk a lot about golden girls plot lines that were really progressive for the time #but i don't think ive heard anyone bring up that one in the same vain #i feel like people don't even think of that as an option for someone wanting to have kids unless they're gay #rather than willfully single although that may not be easy in our economy #make more jokes about sperm banks too tho #make more of them. more jokes about sperm banks! #i got home around 10pm and in the shower i couldn't remember if i took my nighttime meds #so i guess im just gonna wait around a few hours and find out. sheesh #golden girls #shut up kaily

[vvanessaives]

evil thoughts possessing my brain (zefyr/gale romance)

#rena.txt #just a tiny wizard and his big and tall and scary and horned sorcerer partner u know #they couldn't be more different and they are enemies and he wants to fix them and they can't stop fighting over who's the most #powerful or knowledgeable and they can't stand each other but they want one another so bad and gale is being wrestled down by this #2.30m tall built like a tank tiefling that is going to rail him so hard leaving him unable to get up in the morning and probably break #his pelvis as they ride him. forgive me i lost myself in the sauce. that's it that's the post. #i didn't plan any romance for zefyr so like..everything could happen..my best bets were either lae'zel or wyll for them but now.. #thoughts manifesting u know.. why i can't have one normal ship. it's never 'they like each other :)' it always has to be some #weird and stupid little gay ritual

[llycaons]

'x person goes missing' is literally the most boring plotline for any sequel not based on existing piece of media and that all I'm going to say about gomens 2

#it's just manufacturing drama. who cares of this asshole is missing. everyone hates him #why are they even talking to az and crow I thought they washed their hands of them #weren't they supposed to be free from all that now. and most importantly together #not to be rude but idk why ppl are excited about this it's 100% going to be more overwrought and annoying jokes and gaybaiting #like if you're having fun im glad but I couldn't even finish the trailor. this won't have anything of the book in it AND no canon azcrow so #like. there's nothing in it of interest. for me #well I guess I had more to say! well I am still pissed about the gaybaiting! #to offer a second season after all that and they're NOT gay married?? huh??? #neil 'it was a love story' man can suck my dick #spineless greedy bastard. also why bring terry pratchett into it. he had nothing to do with s2 he's dead they're just using his name #idec abt tp that much but it's so disingenuous and money-grabby. have some fucking respect #anyway couldn't make it through the trailor it was super boring and cringe #cor.txt

[doppelnatur]

youve convinced me. drop Star Trek recs what do i watch (ive been told to avoid the movies? are they bad lol)

Ok I've not seen all of trek, I've mainly seen ds9, tos and tng so I'm only gonna talk about those.

I think ds9 (deep space 9) is like. The most Genuinely Good show out of all the ones I've seen. I'd just start from the beginning and watch it all but if you aren't ready to commit to 7 seasons of queer antics with a seasoning of war time baseball (unrelatable but ok?) The best episode of ds9 and probably the best episode in all of trek is the one directed by Avery Brooks (the actor of Sisko) "far beyond the stars" (my icon is Fanart of that episode specifically) you can totally watch it as a stand alone💕 heavy Triggerwarning for racism, police murder and brutality, and institutionalization. To be clear the episode isn't racist, it depicts racism, specifically anti black racism. Maybe more light-hearted fun is "bar association" where quarks employees unionize. I think a few people have said ds9 only starts to be good in like season 3? I don't think that's true it's very good from the start and i do recommend watching it from the start.

The movies are a good time if you wanna put something on with friends and get drunk tbh! Wrath of Khan is also the only Moby Dick adaptation I've ever seen and it's such a classic. Like it sucks but it's also very good. And the whale movie (journey home) is genuinely a banger of a movie!

In general TOS (the original series) I wouldn't really recommend unless you're already kind of sold on star trek. It's beautiful, it's strange, it's homosexual, it's DEEPLY sexist. But there are some very fun episodes and it's the ideal show to put on while painting your nails. It kind of starts being a strong show in the second season, Amok Time ofc being a classic (but an odd episode to start with) The Changeling I think is a good episode that shows what tos is like from it's best side and fairly representative, and mirror mirror is the way better than average episode where the mirror verse is introduced which is very cool. I also like doomsday machine and the devil in the dark! Devil in the dark is one of the last episodes of the first season so maybe a good place to start from? Tho you wouldn't wanna miss The Naked Time!!! Tos is a banger of a show it's just very 60s.

TNG (the next generation) is kind of hit or miss and starts off slow but it has like the best horror episodes out of all of star trek I'd say. Absolutely will HAUNT you, scarier than most actual horror shows. Schisms is... An episode of a Nice Family Show FOR SURE :))))) Frame of mind also fucked me up.. idk man just. TNG. Geordi and Data are so lovely and then Fucked Up Shit happens.. For sure.

Both TNG and TOS are very "it's trekking time", ds9 being a space station treks very little. It's less of a star trek than a star kinky war time sex. Hope this helpss have funnn!!!

#gif #i don't usually put gifs but i found this gem of a worf gif and I couldn't resist adding more #(the roller coaster one) #theyre all really fun. I'm enjoying voyager too so far Janeway's voice is so nice! I've heard good things about the new animated show also! #the new movies idk I liked them when I was 11 and haven't seen them since. but I thought they were pretty gay back then and I didn't even #know I was gay or what gay meant so like. i think that's in the spirit of the show #something else that's cool about ds9 is that the aliens are allistic but the humans are autistic. like bashir and Sisko? #pure unrestrained autism #quark has allism but in a way that's so sexy? #oh I guess worf brings the alien autism rep

[opaleyedprince]

new oc just dropped

#opal.txt #oc tag: cassus #he is for a silly little thing i am hyperfixating on atm. as one does #in short #he's an ihnmams oc bc i find horror fascinating and i wanted to add my own little guy to the mix #so he's a cyborg - closer to an android in design but still at his center human #bc he was once human and he still /IS/ is his core theme. he has been changed sm but he is still himself even though his name is different #and his personality has changed he is STILL that guy and not that guy at the same time. he still /IS/ himself. the self is just not static #anyway before they wired up the whole earth they thought hey - maybe we can train a human to do this. and he volunteered (maybe) #and over time he became cassus but upon completion he was deemed too volatile bc he was still Too Human #couldn't be objective couldn't be logical bc even without a heart he still thought with his and made decisions from his. he still loved #he was built separate from the network bc they worried he would 'infect it' with his well. everything #and then put to sleep and launched into space to orbit the world while they lined it with circuitry #and he slept. for a hundred years and some change - asleep and dreaming all the while #and then his ship finally gets too old and gives out. so he crash lands #and the thing abt him is. he is poison data given human form #if am absorbs him - he will finally know what it is to feel and to be human. but he can't do that without permanently altering himself #he can't kill him either bc cassus was built to not die + has the bargaining chip of 'you try to hurt me and i WILL inject myself into you. #if you've seen tng he is to am what hue was to the borg collective #you could say 'oh sounds gay' and whatever they have going on is waaay more interesting to me. guys who hate each other + are also not guys #but also why not sure

[rosesradio]

alright portbowell nation how does it feel to win and also get punched in the stomach--

#thoughts on the ep: #most thoughts on the ep could be summed up in prev posts i reblogged #hate to say it but ricky helping ej and gina with portwell is giving will helping mike in st. but. portwell is an actual good ship #there was enough room in that boat for two #why aren't the kids practicing the show. why did one of them (was it gina?) call it a rehearsal they weren't rehearsing anything #i'm glad portwell talked through some stuff even if they have some rocky moments like they're trying and they have a great underlying-- #friendship #that being said there was enough room in that boat for two #calling someone by their last name is gay #ricky and jet still have chemistry idc idc jetwen truthers you're valid and all-knowing #ej's montage w miss jenn was probably the best part of the ep lol like she was really teaching him to be fruity and i love that for him #when miss jenn said he needed a carlos i lowkey wish his assistant could be ricky #why were they doing sports the play is in like 5 days whatever it's fine #ashlyn having her wlw moment so true and with val's ponytail flip i couldn't blame her #obviously though like everyone else is saying break up with big red first #the fireworks metaphor is stupid #as a fanfic writer it's stupid and that's saying something #jet and maddox's relationship is interesting and i wish they'd put more than 3 minutes of focus on it in a season #i dunno i dunno my inbox is open i think that's it #oh and there was enough room in that boat for two btw in case i forgot to mention #hsmtmts #portwell #portbowell #ricky bowen #ej caswell #gina porter #jesus these tags #not tkk

[babygirlgiles]

📓

Omg thank you for the ask and the opportunity to rant about my all time favorite daydream fic!

I have been daydreaming about this one forever, it's gone through so many iterations and morphed so much since the first time the idea "omg but what if Willow and Tara had a gay little farm" popped into my head, but it still is The Gay Little Farm fic in my mind until I hopefully come up with a better title lol.

The Gay Little Farm is a gothic horror-y story set in a canon-divergent AU where Willow doesn't go back to Sunnydale after season 6. The fic itself is set several years down the line, after Sunnydale has been destroyed, when-- after spending some time learning more about herself through traveling, living with various covens, going to community college in San Francisco, and eventually getting a degree in computer science and working for a robotics lab-- Willow has recently bought a small farm in New England (I was missing Massachusetts when the idea was first conceived, don't judge lmao. Plus you can't really beat the ambient horror vibes of rural New England).

By the time the fic starts, Giles is the only one of the group that still talks to her. Buffy and Xander were pretty pissed about her decision to not come back, but Giles supported it ultimately because he felt all her emotions in Grave, so he understands the depths of her anguish and understands that she really doesn't know herself anymore, and supports her trying to figure out who she is on her own terms. (Also, he supports her because I asked the very essential question: "what if the btvs writers had decided to leverage how similar Willow's trajectory is to Giles's backstory even the teeniest tiniest bit?" lmao).

Throughout this time, they've emailed each other extensively, like nearly every day, but when Willow's emails start to become less and less frequent after buying the farm, Giles doesn't really think much of it; he knows she's busy trying to get everything set up to be an operational growing season, and that she doesn't have an internet connection at her new house yet so she has to go into town to email him.

It's explicable, so he doesn't worry about it until one day he gets several increasingly bizarre, almost unintelligible, concerning emails in very quick succession.

(lol I'm gonna put a read more because this got long lol. But if anyone else wants to send me one of these ask games : Put “📓” or some other version of a book emoji into my inbox and I’ll explain the plot of a fanfiction that I haven’t written but daydream about.)

She doesn't reply to any of his emails, doesn't answer the phone so he gets on the first flight across the Atlantic to go check on her (it's partly panic, but partly because he's not really pleased with where his life is at the moment anyway, but I won't get into that, this is already getting too long lol, just let it suffice to say he's glad for the excuse to just pack off to somewhere else suddenly). But when Giles gets there, Willow seems perfectly fine. She says she doesn't even have any clue what he's talking about when he tries to bring up the emails, and he figures she must just be embarrassed or something and not want to talk about it, so he drops it.

He decides to stay at the farm for a bit to keep an eye on her and make sure she's okay, but the longer he's there, the more and more weird things start happening. Even as he falls into the rhythms of life on her little farm and gets comfortable there, he can't shake the feeling that something is very wrong. He's having bizarre dreams that are becoming increasingly prophetic, even though there's absolutely no way he should be having prophetic dreams. He starts remembering things-- or at least they feel like memories, but they're certainly not things that ever happened to him. One night, he catches Willow in the middle of what looks like a blood magic ritual, but when he stops her, it's like she wakes up from sleepwalking and has absolutely no recollection of what happened. He's suspicious of Willow and what she might be doing, but also increasingly convinced the house is working some kind of dark magic on them both, so he sets out to research the place. But the nearby town clerk's office, the town's historical society, everywhere he can think to check has absolutely no record of this house existing.

Anyway, I won't spoil what is actually going on with the house because I am for real going to write this (I sort of started a while ago, but as I watched more of the show, my plot and ideas changed SO much). But really, at its core, everything that's going on with the house is about processing their grief, about building a life, about them repairing their relationships, and about the two of them having to come together to do all that by working together to figure out what's going on (although, Willow already suspects what's going on long before Giles even arrives, she just doesn't want to accept it...). The whole story is just like, what if Willow and Giles reconnected in adulthood and finally worked through some of their immense baggage about each other but also just their baggage in general? :) And also there was a farm. :)

#myfic #thank you so much for sending this i had so much fun answering!! love to share my stories about my little guys #once i finish the current big fic im working on #this is the next one i want to write so. keep an eye out. #literally i was actually so so close to entirely abandoning the idea about willow having a farm. #bc originally it was a willow and tara have a farm together and then giles comes to stay on the gay little farm with them :) #i literally probably thought of that watching s4 and then i remembered that tara was going to die and i was like :) idc :) farm :) #but I think the further i got the more like... idk it just didnt really feel genuine to the spirit of the farm and what i wanted to tell #for her to just be inexplicably alive? it just wasnt the story i wanted to tell #so then i was like okay :) Tara's spirit is on the farm :) and then Giles and Willow bring her back to life :) #and then I watched s6 and was like WOW. So apparently !! being resurrected !! fucking SUCKS!!!!!!! #and like. i couldn't do that to my girl I just COULDNT!! #and then i was thinking about it more the timeline made no sense it was like why is willow on this farm why is she on the farm alone #and by this point i had like. a considerable amount of Giles coming to visit her on the farm written lmao #but even tho i was like these are all good scenes and good writing like WHAT is the context WHAT is going on #and apparently backpacking is the best time to have fic ideas ever #bc i remember the exact moment where it came to me like a fucking epiphany just. oh. its canon divergent. its an s7 au. #i was out in the hammock watching the moon and scrambled back into the tent to get my notebook (almost woke my friend up in the process) #and was like frantically scribbling down how it all finally came together by moonlight in the hammock #so im glad i didn't abandon the idea and let it keep puttering around until the hammock worked its magic #I’ll also add. there’s an accompanying playlist. that I play while I daydream about it lmao.