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luidilovins · 3 years

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You should turn your post on the Uncanny Valley into a book or something. I am not even kidding, it's brilliant and sorely needed information. Thank you for it.

Tbh its just speculative that the uncanny valley is an inherent biological trait and not cultural or a learned behavior at the moment. A good example would be the cultural phenomenon of colorophobia where in the US we have a longer history of using clowns in our horror pop culture genres than countries like Japan.

Clown entertainment has been around since the Egytian times and maybe some people have always been freaked out by them it honestly just takes one director or author to have an disproportionately irrational fear and good cinematography skills to convince people that they SHOULD hate clowns just as much, (I could say the same about the movie Jaws but thats a bit of a tangent,) or a memorable event that damages the public's trust in something that SHOULD be innocent or harmless. (A good examples being the John Wayne Gacy trials.)

Clowns are also thought to be in the uncanney valley so ita a fairly good argument on cultural phenomenon versus genetic traits. Up until aroud the 60s-70s clowns were actually fairly well liked by the US general public and a lot of older generation still find a fondness in it that would scare the living shit out of their grandchildren.

As far as evidence that I may be right about the "uncanney valley might be because of rabies" theory, there has been a small case study suggesting that the movements of a non-human robot that trigger the effect in us, is also present in people with parkinsons but the sample size is too small for me to be thoroughly convinced.

And don't be mistaken I also dislike this concept because saying that ableism is an inherent human trait is just as bad as saying racism is an inherent human trait. There is little to gain from distrust in the disabled and little historical evidence to suggest it was common or beneficial to discard disabled people. Disabled people's remains have been found time and time again to live to incredibly long livea and be cared for, and participate in their communities. I'm highly critical of this particular case study and I take it with a grain of salt because its on cosmo, but evidence of human disabilities and compassion can be sourced by actual bones and it's been placed on VERY credible sources. NPR, NBC, Discovery, Nat Geo, NY Times, literally the clostest you can get to creme of the crop news articles on DOZENS of accounts and if you have a goddam problem then pay for a tour to the Smithsonian, find an archeologist and coherse them into showing you the bones and then explain phorensics to you because you probably wouldn't understand unless you too were a phorensic archeologist yourself.

What I DO BELIEVE tho is that if the uncanny valley is a legitimate inherent trait, that like most evolutionary traits, it made it this far for this long because it somehow served us benificially. And the biggest benifit I can think of is identifying neuro-infectious diseases because they can spread agressivley, many of them lead to death or lasting effects and are fucking MISERABLE to catch. We're talking brain swelling, fevers, uncontrollable vomiting, tremors, hallucinations, motor and vocal tics, difficulty swallowing, seizures. This could all happen because they eat infected deer meat or because of one bad fox bite. It's miserable if you survive and horrifying if you dont. Rabies can survive in your muscle tissue for years before infecting your brain and once it does usually you only live for about 5-10 days in and out of concious knowledge that you're going to die painfully, and disease aggrivated psychosis. It would be hard to pinpoint the causation because the amout of time before full blown infection would vary too much to assosiate for a long time. So your only option is to hone in on telltale signs.

The disabled people who would suffer from herdeditary or developmental neurological disorders run the risk of prejudice from mistaken identity, but if a human is part of a community, and doesn't die within a week from having a wobbly head, it would sooner or later become apparent that they're not dangerous. I think nowadays culturally people don't press to learn more about disabled people due to social and political prejudice and never fucking grow up past that. Mistaken identity or not. You learn about people from the patterns of their behaviors so even ones that seem abnormal to you become a normal recognizable pattern for them. Fancy that.

We don't get grossed out by chimps or gorillas, who are even more distant cousins, and the proof that we don't have a search and destroy button for anything immediatly related to us is a bunch of bullshit can be found in almost every human's blood on earth. And not just neanderthals, but denisovans as well. And that's not even accounting for genetic backtracking the crossbreeding of other sapiens species before we were whittled down to just the three. What makes the tweet even stupider is that when neandertals still roamed the earth humans were shorter, hardier, and overall more rough looking so we looked even indistinguished then. We Also Chewed On Bones and neandertals handled cold climates better than us based on a study on chest cavity density and, skull nasal intake and heat circulation, providing genetic diversity and the upper hand in survival in the tundras or mountainous regions spanning over Eurasia. If it wasn't for humans fucking neandertals we might not have been able to spread over the contient or diversify the way we did.

So my full hypothesis is that if the uncanny valley is a genetic inherent human trait it was used to benifit people from catching agressive diseases in a time where the benifit of fearing a group member with rabies outweighed the cost of fearing a group member with a disability like parkinsons.

WHAT PISSED ME OFF was the idea that we are DESIGNED to be unwary of our evolutionary cousins could easily be used for white supremacist spaces to justify racism BECAUSE IT ALREADY HAS

So that one tweet that might seem like a quirky thinkpiece in my eyes is just fuel for eugenics trend round whatever number we're on. It's like we don't fucking learn. It would be REALLY easy to retool the concept that it's natural for people to be fearful of whatever the bullshit definition of sub-humans are. Claiming that black people were sub-human thus deserving of mistrust and submission to white ownership worked like a fucking charm.

Maybe if I go to college and major in psyche/socio/civics it'll be my college thesis. Right now I'm more of a hobbyist than anything, but what I DO know is that anyone can make an untested hypothesis to combat another untested hypothesis and it should hold just as much goddamn value. I combatted the idea that the idea that human othering was funneled into an unconfirmed effect that causes disgust and terror based on non-human sapiens is in fact racist and gave what is in my opinion a more evoluntionary practical approach to the uncanney valley.

The generalized links that I used APARENTLY weren't good enough for some people but aparently a single tweet that says "hur dur heedle dee uncanney valley exists because of human cousins" was taken at face value even tho it was probably tapped out in five seconds without regards to the reproccussions. I find a huge discomfort that less than studious links about the evolution of monkey social behaviors that I used as a guideline to explaining my concerns became the focal point for people to nitpick without even having the gall to "well actually" on the subject. That absolute ravaging NEED to rip apart at it and devolve into name calling because I MENTIONED racism is fucking suspicious and I don't trust it. I had to stop looking at the responses because some people were only reblogging and arguing with barely half of my argument and i was getting nowhere fast.

There were a few people that made actual points with cited sources that made their own rebuttle arguments. That I respect. It's just as valid an argument as mine and I'm ALWAYS willing to take on more credible sources to strengthen my stance or gain perspective.

But it's the utter dismissal of a concerning concept that just seeped into the subtext that gnawed at my gut. Some people on top of hating the linked sources I provided, admitted they didn't read it, refused to read between the lines to purposfully misinterpret or derail my main points, and detract that my claim that the tweet was a result of systemic white supremacy saturated into modern science was a bunch of bullshit because I claimed that 1500s anglos invented racism.

The thing is we did invent the racism that we fucking currently subscribe to.

We practice the science that we formulated based on our own social prejudice. Real people die from this.

We remain uncritical of our own theorums that we postulate then pat ourselves on the back like we're philosophical geniuses even though racism is a family heirloom with a new paint job.

We preach the eugenics ideals that we pulled out of our asses to benifit from fearmongering, promises of national security and unpaied labor.

White supremacists create subtext with the intention of it being consumed by accident or in ways that seem palatable.

Fuck.

That.

I don't hate the person who wrote the tweet. Chances are that they gave the tweet as much thought as they took the time to write it and went on their day as a fun little thinkpiece. Everyone on the internet does it. But its that kind of thinking error that needs to be adressed as a progression of historic and scientific prejudice that gets rehashed, recycled and untouched and continually damages and is weaponized against marginalized people. I am not wrong for taking it seriously especially when a bunch of people were sitting around nodding their heads just as effortlessly.

I don't owe the internet any more sources than the tweet. I don't owe anyone on the internet a full scientific ananysis. And the people's reaction to what I had to say was actually what further convinced me I might have hit the nail on the head.

#answered asks #uncanny valley effect #eugenics #fuck white supremacy #systemic racism #racism #negative #slavery #luidilovins

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punkpal · 5 years

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Okay i’m sorry for this rant but i am struggling and i’m running out of hope so some of y’all better donate some of yours before i combust...

Read at your own discretion.

And please if you have any lived experience of complete fucking hopelessness along with bipolar disorder (because that specific diagnosis in my rather long list of conditions is really new to me) i am not coping and could do with some advise, so please do share if you have any, it would be really helpful.

Okay so i call bullshit.

I spent 3 months in a manic episode as a result of a setting change in my brain implant (the one i got to reduce the symptoms of my ocd which obviously as per my chronic bad luck not only didn’t work or help in the slightest but also gave me bipolar)...

Then upon getting tired of waiting for the mania to disappear i changed settings after finally getting permission from my surgeon who finally had also given up hope that the mania would subside and the setting start to work to help rather then hinder.

Only for the new setting to send me on the opposite side of the spectrum and make me suicidal (luckily only for 2 weeks as i was getting ever increasingly more unsafe even whilst inpatient in a psych ward, so a change of settings was allowed quicker for my own safety). But boy did that feel like a lifetime when every waking moment of those 2 weeks felt like i was drowning.

And just because after 10 months of constant setting changers (almost all of which options i have tried) i was getting tired of getting my hopes up with a new setting change, only for it to make things worse; i went back to a really low setting as per my doctors suggestion and i thought that would be a good choice.

That setting i changed back to, i had been on before and while it didn’t help it didn’t make me worse so until i can be fucked trying new settings with the chance it would send me over the brink i opted for a safe setting that in the past has done fuck all which i am willing to deal with if it means i don’t risk getting worse.

BUT

Noooo. No rest for the wicked, my bloody fucking manias back and while i new that was a possibility as the mania was caused by a specific setting and would likely only be present on that setting. It was mentioned that there was a possibility that the mania would stay because basically of an accidental fuck up caused by that old setting that is now causing that side effect to continue even when on a otherwise reasonably safe setting.

So long story short the mania is irreversible and likely will come in and out of my life on and off indiscriminately as well as the other half of the bipolar diagnosis (i know officially have, yay) being increased long periods of suicidal ideation and i am BIB MAD.

I got this surgery to help the main out of 7 mental illnesses (ocd) and satan or karma or god or whoever the fuck dished me out a entirely new diagnosis instead of fix the one i wanted benefited.

PLUS i scored a brain infection thats the first of its kind (that my state has ever seen) as a result of this surgery despite this surgery being common - mostly used for Parkinsons. And to this day i am still facing shitty physical health as a result of this, even having to have 2 surgeries 2 weeks ago to fix damage that infection caused by that ‘life saving, mental illness curing, miracle brain surgery’.

Honestly will my bad luck ever come to an end?

Theres only so much i can take.

And worse is i fear this mania will come to an end only to segway into a episode of prolonged suicidal ideation (and even intent) like what happened last time. Because i can’t deal with that again, not on top of all the other issues my still really really really fucking bad ocd is causing me.

I don’t get why all of this is happening to me.

What did i do to deserve all of of this misfortune?

Am i getting punished for crimes my soul committed in a previous life?

Does god exist and he’s a little bitch who has it out for me and goes out of his way to make my life miserable?

Am i actually dead and living in hell paying my debt to the devil in the form long term suffering and hopelessness?

Or am i cursed? Is that it?

Whatever the reason i have had enough.

Also honest observation insert: Apparently when i started venting my manic fueled frustrations in this post my mood was still heightened but if noticeable in the sharp change of pace in this post the mania has officially began to leave the building now (which i guess was what i was asking for) but as is tradition the end of this mania (thats luckily only been going on a few days) has plunged me balls deep into the depressive part of my bipolar and man is the desire to die starting to look more and more appealing.

I won’t do anything don’t worry!

I mean i guess now i have scored the start of a break from what was only a small manic episode but exhausting nonetheless. So i can finally get a good nights sleep, because the mania was defiantly cock blocking me from achieving shut eye until tonight. So i’ll use this opportunity to catch up on a week of lost sleep (plus sleep is like a vacation from life, a short visit into destination ‘dead’) so experiencing the complete lack of being consciousness through sleep will be a nice little visit into what i crave (death) without the huge commitment that comes with death and the sadness it causes others.

Any way this last week or so of mania has not been fun but as i crash into the opposite end of that bipolar scale i am realizing how much more preferable that mania was as apposed to my current quickly declining mood. And upon reflection take back all the smack i talked about mania only because now i want to go back in time to that manic period rather be in this dangerously depressing present i am currently getting stuck in. And just argghhhh.

Right when i think it can’t get any worse it does and then this happens again and again a fucking again.

When will all this suffering end? And when it does end will it do so by eventual good luck and recovery or eventual giving up and the welcoming of death like an old friend?

Because i really do want that first option to be the case. After all thats why i chose to get this surgery - for hope of recovery (and because it was the last option in recovery that i had yet to try). Because i do hold onto hope and i do want to fight for my recovery until i eventually obtain it.

But i have been fighting for this false sense of hope for more then a decade but the longer i wait and the harder i fight for recovery the more it hurts when i get nothing but bad luck to set me backwards every time i think i have made progress. And so the vicious cycle repeats.

This toxic cycle of suffering really does make it hard to continue feeling positive about the future. Therefor at times like these i find it easier not looking at the future at all because i don’t see myself being alive long enough to be in it most of the time. And that concept actually really does put me at ease.

Nonetheless i wake up and try again and again chasing what little hope i do still have left over from the abundance of hope i used to have before over time i began to loose most of it.

This dwindling hope really does scares me though because i am worried especially now with how low i am at the moment that any day soon that hope will start to run out until i don’t have enough left to save me from myself and if that happens i see no other outcome but to welcome death and admit defeat.

And don’t get worried ‘welcoming death and admitting defeat.’ is only a back up plan, its just kind worrisome to know the current plan isn’t gong too crash hot either and that my only organized backup plan revolves death.

Any way, this letter along with my mood stating off manic as hell.

And somehow ended here. In disappear.

But i fight on, for however long i have it in me to continue fighting.

And i ask (well lets be honest at this point i am basically begging) that the powers that be give me a break. I deserve it. Look even if that break isn’t recovery can it at least be to not continue getting worse. Because i don’t know how much further down this rabbit hole i can go...

#no one will read this but if you do please help #this is literally my cry for help so as is tradition i expect to be ignored and for that i am not but but if you do read and have any advise #i'd love to hear it #tw//#trigger warning//#ocd #bipolar #mania #depression #suicide mention//#okay i don't know what else to trigger tag this with...#because i really don't want people who don't want to see this be seeing it #but also like i said if you do especially if you found this by the ocd bipolar depression mania etc tag and have any advice to give #hmu if you think you can offer a word of advise or help even a little even if you just have personal experiences you think would be helpful #because i feel so alone in this and i hate it #personal

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