#and its cool bc a few adults also asked about what i was doing and i got to use him to explain mens clothing and modesty in 73
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work story:
tiny seth finally had his first big road test in his actual job as child-distracting assistant yesterday when i was on tea room duty.
i was sitting next to the fireplace at the little table sewing a little doll-sized jacket for him when this family with two very young children sat down nearby, and the kids were very interested in what I was doing, so I stopped my sewing & took the needle off so I could show them how the work in progress jacket goes on him, and the older child (a little boy who proudly announced to me that he's two) was fascinated
for the next hour and a half, he made seth walk around the table, pointed out different features of him & how they related to us (ex: pointing out his eyes and then our eyes, or holding up his hat, and then the boy's own winter hat, and then my frilly white cap and shouting "HAT!" very proudly), and, my favorite, picking out scrap fabric from my basket and tying them around the little rabbit as a cape or a scarf (or handing them back to me and saying "help" to get me to tie the actual knot on a few of the scarves)
he also stuffed a bunch of the fabric scraps he really liked (the very soft ones) into his little jacket pocket.
when his family finally left, the tea room was closing, so I started packing up my stuff, and he asked me to bring the rabbit back out so he could say bye to him.
10/10 tiny seth did a great job at child-entertaining and not being accidentally mistaken for a gift or being walked off with
#messages from the ouija board#sadies day job#the boy was so cute and his parents were so clearly relieved to spend some time sitting down without the kids for a moment#my official story for seth now is that he belongs to my nieces#bc lucys nieces would all be very young rn (the youngest betsey is 6mos and the oldest abigail is 4ish)#but somehow aunt lucy is now subjected to endless requests for doll clothes#and its cool bc a few adults also asked about what i was doing and i got to use him to explain mens clothing and modesty in 73#explaining that if hes a proper gentleman he needs a jacket bc having his shirtsleeves out is a state of undress#and ive embroidered a lot of details i couldnt quite replicate for real like certain seams and lacings so i showed some people those#also two little boys last week who were elementary school age excitedly declared that he was edward tulane#which was awesome and i was like oh i dont know what his name used to be. someone lost him here and never came back for him (truth)#(but also how edward travels around in the book)#and they were like 'yes!!! that's him!!!' and had their mom take a pic of them w me & tiny seth to show a teacher#who was reading the book to them in school rn
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okay I was asked about fey books I’ve read that Do stick to folklore a bit more than certain popular books - and actually looking at what fey books I’ve read it’s a bit like.... books that stick to folklore closely I sometimes Don’t Love, and there are others that don’t stick to it as much but I like the overall narrative more? or some mix of that.
so here’s a list of a few - a range of how much they stick to folklore (which of course is an amorphous thing) and how much I like them, but it’s something!
YA
That Self-Same Metal - literally just read this, it’s about a Black girl who’s the stage blade expert for shakespeare’s company and can see fey, and they’re appearing more and more in the city. explores a bit of the midsummer night’s dream fey but also like “shakespeare was wrong” and general folklore. definitely the start of a series and has a lot going on but I thought it has some cool ideas!
all Holly Black’s books deal with them well! the Modern Faerie Tales companion/trilogy has maybe aged a bit by now, and I hate way the romance ended up together in The Folk of the Air (and the way the fandom is about it) but otherwise I do really like how it deals with fey and politics! also enjoyed The Darkest Part of the Forest. these are all intertwined/same world
The Buried And The Bound - a hedgewitch girl keeps fey away from her town, and gets caught up with two boys who are cursed. mostly deals with minor fey and a powerful hag
An Enchantment of Ravens - it’s been quite a few years since I read this, but I do remember enjoying it. It is a bit more of a romance focused story also, an artist stolen into the fey realm for painting a fey prince as if he was human(iirc?)
The Bone Houses - not directly dealing with fey, but like the aftermath of the ancient fey’s curses? welsh myth inspired. which I think is cool.
At The Edge of The Woods - about a girl in a religious/patriarchial village who starts to have strange dreams about a fey boy luring her into the woods. it’s not super focused on them, but they’re very much the classic ‘dangerous fey stealing people away for entertainment’ kind of thing
Adult
Emily Wilde’s Encyclopaedia of Faeries - I sort of have mixed feelings about this - I really enjoy how it dealt with fey and the creepier folklore creatures side of it! the handling of the changeling was a bit iffy and not sure about the romance
The Wolf Among the Wild Hunt - dark fantasy novella about a wolf-shifter made to join the wild hunt to save his qpr. focused on the unseelie/wild hunt area
Silver in the Wood - gaslamp fantasy novella about the keeper of a magical forest, dryads and dangerous fey
The Wind City - a bit of a mashup of fey folklore and Māori atua in a modern NZ setting
Sinners/Veiled - very classic but also with the element of a modern setting where human pollution is like a drug to fey (and the MC is a drug lord.) (so kind of dark but also not dark in the sexy way bc the MC is aroace)
Under The Pendulum Sun - this is a gothic fantasy that has a bit of a new take on a fey world, but also definitely has some of those creepy folklore vibes.
Siren Queen - this only partly involves fey but I thought the way that it mashed up old hollywood and fey (aka shady deals for fame themes) was interesting!
Sorcerer to the Crown/The True Queen - my memory on this is hazy, but I believe it’s regency fantasy, with its own take on a fey world/magic (moreso the 2nd book)
Malice/Misrule - adult high fantasy lesbian sleeping beauty reimagining, this is kind of doing it’s own thing I guess (I don’t remember if they’re even called fey?) but definitely has a bit of the creepy creature/court vibes in book 2 especially
In The Jaded Grove - I was just looking up books to see if there was anything I missed and found this, which seems interesting to me!
I also haven’t read Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell (but I watched the show ages ago) and I believe that has the vibe too
#book list#im sure there are some im missing HAHA#some I left out like the witch king (kinda doing its own thing and then calling them fey) or ash/huntress (only lightly touches on fey tbh)#laya talks#the iron fey i loved some of the ideas but the story is kinda bad#wicked lovely.........i can't tell what is nostalgia and what is objective but I did love that series a Lot#(it's quite 2000s YA romance focused but like also. good fey)
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headcanons about tachimukai during ie go? its always good to see your posts on my timeline!!
WAAAHHHH OH MY GOD THANK YOU SO MUCH!! And of course, I love him sm and I have a lot!!
I'm also adding this picture here because i really love how soft Shinsuke remembers Tachimukai, makes me emotional. He genuinely wants to help him. (I'll keep using this picture forever, methinks)
(some of these are during the 10-year timeskip; putting it under the cut)
Headcanons:
Almost everybody comments on how is it possible to have one of the most vicious goalkeeper in existence be so polite in interviews. He's so loved by people across Japan and has a really strong fanbase. And it's bcs he looks so focused and vicious in the field that most ppl cant recognized him outside of it (like how Shinsuke didnt).
Much like Kazemaru, Fubuki, Gouenji, and Kabeyama, he's also one of the few from the cast who stayed in Japan soccer leagues. All of the teams he belonged in lost the least goals in the leagues they've joined!! He's a monster goalkeeper in their eyes! (Another reason why Shinsuke didnt recognize him is bcs he doesnt believe someone as legendary as tachimukai would casually teach a goalkeeper-beginner like him.)
I genuinely think he's good at studying and has good grades in IT-related subjects and is above average in most sciences, he just chose to not go to college. He did go to a vocational school as a backup plan. In case he gets severly injured or sumthn since goalkeepers are known to retire for injuries more than the field players.
More than anything, he wants to teach goalkeeping so he has that as a consideration for his future also. He's still thinking abt in what way can he accomplish this but that time with Shinsuke did make him realize that it's something he wants to do. But maybe not right now, he thinks he needs more experience!
He gets tons of modeling offers that he keeps on declining bcs it's never been his interest. He once jokingly told Tsunami that maybe he should try it after his retirement, he didnt realize Tsunami took it seriously and he's very excited for this modeling career (Tsunami is in fact considering modeling too bcs of that joke)
He makes a lot of effort to stay connected with old friends and likes traveling a lot even if it takes time! He likes taking the scenic route too and just takes life slowly.
Some of the things he does when the league season is over are riding sleeper trains and hotel-buses!! (It's so cool that japan has those!!) Sometimes with friends or family, but he also likes going alone and making conversations with people (who most often does not recognize him at all).
He's timid as an adult still but he overcomes this by telling himself that being with people is part of the great experience of life however corny that sounds. It's one of the things he learned from being with the cast who gave him the courage to step out of his comfort zone.
Speaking of his traveling! His inagram is full of traveling pictures!! And all the food he gets to eat! He also travels outside the country and taste as many spicy food as he can. He's famous in inagram actually even if he barely has any pictures with his face in them but he's really cool with it.
He is also demiromantic ace in my heart <3
He casually enjoys surfing too (in the drama cd, he asked if tsunami can teach him how to surf to which i think he enjoyed) and competitively with tsunami (bcs tsunami makes everything a contest)
He goes trekking, mountain climbing, and skydiving with his old pals from Yokato a lot.
He goes to camping trips with the first year gang too (kabeyama, kurimatsu, kogure, haruna and they also invite shourin, shishido!!). Kogure plans these trips.
I have some more that's in my hissatsu techniques hc of him regarding how he is in the field but that's yet to be posted (bcs descriptions are so hard 😣). These are the ones that I can remember outside of that for now!
And really thank you for the ask, they really motivate me to share them!!
#but really i love him sm. i cant believe we've never seen him again aaaaaaa#i know he loves travelling. ik that in my heart#inazuma eleven#inazuma eleven go#ie imagined by lore#tachimukai yuuki#darren lachance#halftime lore#marmolao
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next time you get bored u should answer this ask to talk about your Eric and Morbius ^_^ i love Blade so much so i’m interested in what you have planned so far
hiiiiiiiiiii im procrastinating lol. anyway so you know how this is a hall of mirrors ass story and everybody parallels everybody? yea
sooo eric is the biggest and clearest foil to morgan bc they have.. so much in common. not quite a vampire. trying to atone for times they lost control and killed human people. badass vamp-killing machines. many such cases but the Differences are the funky bit bc on one hand morgan had a like. half-decent upbringing with parents and a house and everything, hes far from stable but the idea of emotional vulnerability isnt totally alien to him. Eric was a very lonely child in a terrible life-threatening situation who grew up into a very lonely adult in a slightly less terrible life-threatening situation.
to be clear eric does have people in his life! its just that theres only 2 of them. he got adopted by his cool butch biker mom whistler as a young teen and theyve been doing the vampire slaying thing ever since, and a few years ago they picked up a hematologist called karen jensen who fell into the "older sister" role. (okay yes like 80% of the blade-related plot was pulled straight from Blade (1998) but ignore that im doing some funky shit with it. okay.) she says shes an uninvolved civilian who provides medical aid since she owes eric a life debt, but this is a lie. shes In the shenanigans.
so like he does have his gay little found family but theres some shit they just dont Get yknow. so then once he does start trusting morgan they get. Very close . Very quickly. hes experiencing previously unknown types of human connection, including being gay in practice and not just in theory! and sure hes kinda avoidant and struggles to open up and express his feelings or establish boundaries but thats ok bc morgan is so anxious about rejection and abandonment that hes very willing to put in tons of work with being vulnerable! theyre meeting somewhere in the middle, they think! morgans only a little bit clingy and always suuuuper apologetic when he crosses those unclear boundaries! surely this is a healthy dynamic that wont collapse catastrophically due to communication problems!
anyway primary foil number 2: peter-man. as in superhero role model / the cooler super-powered role model. like pete always sees morbius as someone who needs to be helped and guided and saved and supported and first and foremost as his Responsibility. eric, at least at first, sees him as a Fucking Threat. to be understood and/or neutralized. and morgan really appreciates that! then eric learns to trust and respect him and they begin this totally-not-dysfunctional partnership of equals, its kinda cute if you ignore that its blatantly barreling towards destruction <3
edit i completely forgot the point of that last paragraph. eric respecting morgan like an equal makes him realize that actually, spider-guy is being kind of a cunt about this and why is he trying to prove himself to that loser anyway hes got a cool goth boyfriend now. he actually tries to earn peters respect by making him recognize him as dangerous which BACKFIRES BADLY lmao bc peter is trying to control morbius' sense of Hero Ethics just as much as hes trying to control who he punches and when, so seeing morgan get scary makes him double down on the "holy shit dont get evil" stuff. which also backfires badly. these dudes are all fucking trainwrecks
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Kou x Music Shop Owner Male Reader? Do whatever you want with this idea, I just need fluff/lh
I. Love. This. Idea. SO. MUCH.
(Ok if you’ve watched Spy X Family get prepared bc I’m definitely using “second son” as a name for Kou)
Innovation: the introduction of something new
Kou Minamoto X Male Reader
Kou Minamoto is known for many things. His optimism, his determination, his weird moments where he’s talking to the walls.. (the ghosts)
Among those things, he’s also known for never hesitating to start a change in his life.
Today whilst he was walking through the halls of school he heard some guys talking about a new music shop that had recently opened down the street.
How convenient! The middle child Minamoto had just been pondering the idea of learning how to play guitar.
And right after school, he took his first steps to do just that.
He walked into the shop, the pleasant bell on the door announcing his presence.
Who Kou expected to be at the counter would be someone in their 20’s or 30’s, an adult at least.
He certainly didn’t expect the familiar face of one of his classmates standing behind the counter.
“Oh hey!” He greeted the taller male “L/N right?” He eagerly asked. Kou was a bit relieved to see a somewhat familiar face.
“Yes sir, and you’re the younger Minamoto right?” The taller boy questioned, his tone slightly playful as he leaned onto the counter, head in hand.
Kou chuckled a bit at the other male’s words, he only got more comfortable with this boy by the second.
After his short laugh, Kou found himself aimlessly locking eye contact with the boy for a few seconds- in pure silence- until the other male spoke up.
“So, second son, how may I help you?” L/N stands up straight, smiling at the young exorcist.
“Oh! Right!” He exclaimed, remembering he wasn’t exactly here to make new friends.
“You guys got any starter guitars?” He asked, a bit embarrassed to say he was a newbie.
“Of course!” L/N replied, “right this way Minamoto.” He led him farther in the store into the section filled with different types of guitars.
Kou looked at the assortment of guitars in amazement, each just as cool to him as the last.
“So second son, what shall it be” he spoke in a tone mocking that of a formal one
“How ‘bout..” he gazed over all the different guitars once again then caught the one for him.
“That one?” He answered, his words sounding more like a question than a statement.
L/N lightly chuckled at the shorter boy’s hesitation. “That one it is.” L/N carefully grabbed the guitar from its holding to bring it to the front counter.
Kou followed eagerly, excited for this new chapter, to try something new!
“That’ll be $46.95 Sir Minamoto.” L/N stated.
Quickly Kou went reaching for his wallet in his pocket, the excitement practically eating at him.
Not there.
He checked inside his bag next, surely it’s there!
Not there.
Kou froze. Remembering just why he didn’t have it.
He didn’t plan to buy anything, especially not a guitar of all things, today! So of course he didn’t have it!
He mentally slapped himself in the face for forgetting that.
“Crap..don’t have my wallet with me. Sorry I wasted your time man..” Kou admitted in a defeated tone.
L/N was quiet. Then suddenly spoke up, an idea seeming to have entered his mind.
“Minamoto,” he called for his attention, the smaller boy looking up at him to show he was listening.
“You’re just starting right?” L/N asked, same gentle smile on his face.
“Uh..yeah?” Kou replied, L/N wanted to laugh at his face, it reminded him of a confused puppy.
“So how about instead of buying the guitar now..” he began “I give you some lessons on how to play? That way you can figure out if you’re really into the whole thing?”
Kou’s eyes widened, the excitement returned tenfold along with a slight bit of admiration for L/N’s kindness.
“Really?!” His smile was so wide. That confused puppy expression quickly turning to that of a happy one.
“Mhm! I’ll be sure to become a great mentor for you young Minamoto, free of charge of course.” He simply smiled at him once more as he spoke.
From then on Kou’s lessons began, every day after school he’d rush into the shop and even help L/N around the shop to show gratitude.
Kou first entered the shop in search of something new in his life.
And boy did he get it.
#male reader#tbhk x male reader#tbhk x reader#tbhk#toilet bound hanako kun#toilet bound hanako kun X male reader#dom male reader#kou minamoto x reader#kou minamoto#kou minamoto x male reader
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FUCK IT, SATELLITE INVESTORS HEADCANNONS!!!
CHARON
Can beat you to death with one of the pizza paddles. They've done it before and they'll do it again.
Any pronouns are fine with him!
Pretty chill all things considered, only really goes out of his way to hurt people if ordered to/he, the other investors, the Don, or any combination are threatened.
Honestly feels like he cares about the others too much sometimes
Probably the only guy who's keeping Kerberos from actually going completely feral.
Poly with Styx and Kerberos. Originally she was just with Kerberos but then he basically adopted Styx into the polycule and Charon was like "Oh FUCK yeah, 2 boyfriends"
Kind of the designated "adult" of the group for VERY OBVIOUS REASONS
The only one allowed to move Styx's wheelchair. Not sure HOW they got this privilege but they ain't complaining.
Works back in the Kitchen, she can make a damn good pizza from scratch
NIX
Soley uses They/Them.
Resting, "Are you fucking serious?" Face constantly
The kitchen could be on fire and they'd still be sipping their iced coffee like nothing was wrong, they're that jaded
They'd sell you to satan for a single corn chip if you managed to piss them off.
Really could give less of a shit about everyone there (unless it's Hydra, she's cool), they're just here for the money
I must reiterate that they do in fact enjoy Hydra's company. They really saw the feral gremlin and felt things again.
One of the best "persuaders" on the team. Just give them a baseball bat and 30 minutes. If that doesn't work they'll just get one of the biters
Rarely starts any conversations but once you get them talking? Oh you can NOT make them shut up until they're 100% done
Acts as a waiter during the day, but was that jaded before signing up for it.
She/Her user!
HYDRA
Will bite people for fun. No one knows why, she just likes doing it.
Styx's twin transistor!
Likes pissing off Kerberos for fun, but absolutely cannot deal with the usual outburst from this.
Cannot stand still for even a second, this girl is just constantly bouncing off the walls
Thinks Nix is just absolutely the COOLEST person out there! Likes to "persuade" people most when at their side.
CONSTANTLY cracking puns. Like every other sentence one gets dropped and it ALWAYS takes a moment for someone to figure out
Absolutely not subtle when getting information out of people. She will just very bluntly ask what she needs to know as the first interaction.
Also a waiter bc y'know, constantly moving table to table sometimes carrying things really takes the edge off
It/Its user, also transmasc
STYX
Hydra's twin brother!
Something went wrong with its legs a while back, is basically wheelchair bound unless walking a short distance
You touch the wheelchair and you're getting put in a wheelchair. (Unless you're Charon, but even then he needs explicit permission)
Absolutely a little shithead, and tends to use its disability to get out of shit it DEFINITELY caused.
The receptionist! It’s just the only one willing to keep that friendly facade up for that long.
The rest of the investors are rather protective of it. Not because of the disability, because of the fact that Kerberos and Hydra would both go on killing sprees if it's downed and frankly they're not sure any of them could "persuade" their way out of that.
Easily manipulates people but when it comes to asking things it deems "embarrassing" (like admitting it needs a hug) it will lie up and down that its FINE
LOVES being carried by others. No one knows why, it just does
Poly with Charon and Kerberos. Shortest guy with the 2 tallest guys!
KERBEROS
Well they mostly use he/him for him but they're pretty sure he doesn't care. They don't want to test their luck though
Dude has a lot of issues. Like you'd be hard pressed to find something NOT wrong with him
The attack dog of the group. Some people have said he's outright growled at them.
Selectively mute. The most you'll get out of him is a few mumbles
HATES Hydra with every fiber of his being, he wants that lesbian DEAD, but he wants to be the one to kill her.
Charon is the only guy able to calm him down when he gets overly worked up. Styx helps but there is a difference between 'calm' and 'not mauling everyone because the little guy is here'
TERRIFIED of the CFO. No one knows why, he just never passed the vibe check.
Poly with Charon and Styx. Actually initiated the relationships in the first place.
Acts as the bouncer of the place. He's really good at it too.
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30-40 for any armed asshats and space couple you want
My turn to write about Ivana and Carmina. And and thought about which armed asshats this time but i’m kidding myself, Lucien and Viessa take about 70% of my brain RAM right now and i just gotta ride the wave lest i stop creating altogether lol
30. Do they enjoy dancing?
Ivana doesn’t really do dancing, never been good at it. She would enjey a little slow dance that's more like holding each other and leaning from side to side, if and whenever Carmina wants to
They doooo! They’re both experienced in multiple ballroom dances and you know, living for a millenia can get boring at times so why not hit up every fancy party Lucien invites himself into
31. What’s a perfect date for them?
Go to some very quiet restaurant with good food and wine
Get cultured in a museum/art show/theater, then evnture to some secluded spot overlooking a breathtaking scenery, have some food and wine, and just watch the sunset and the stars
32. How do they comfort each other?
Ivana will straight up ask Carmina what she wants her to do, how to best comfort her in the situation, get her some tea, let her know she can take off her hearing aids and just focus on herself, act as a weighted blanket for her. They’re adults and neurodivergent so just telling and asking what the other wants is the best way to communicate. Ivana would like to be comforted by just letting her vent or letting her take some time off of chores so she can relax
Just be a shoulder to cry and vent on, spend some quiet time together, wash the others hair, small things like that
33. Who is the big spoon and why?
Ivana is the blanket (sometimes). I dont think theyd sleep spooning but when watching a movie or something i feel like Ivana is the big spoon
Lucien, quoth the ancient texts: “dick hard on the butt, titty in my hand, kiss ya neck, hell. yeah”
34. What’s their favorite nonsexual activity together?
Reading (parallel play style), playing with cats, cooking together
Also reading parallel play style, attending theater, going out in the night to hunt some wrongdoers
35. How do they deal with being away from each other for a long time?
Like adults. Text each other on the regular. Carmina can send all the cool bug facts to her, Ivana might even react with an emoji.
They keep themselves busy, Lucien doing Deanoh’s bidding, hunting down artifacts, lending a hand to some guilds. Viessa seems to have an endless supply of tomes to get through and develop new magic.
36. What is their favorite place to kiss the other? (Cheek, hand, closed eyelid, neck, nose, etc.)
Lips, cheek, jaw for Ivana, if getting a bit risquè its cleavage.
Lips, jaw, hands on Lucien. Corner of her mouth, earlobes and neck on Viessa
37. Have they ever hurt each other on accident?
Yeah, it happens. Ivana might’ve said something inconsiderate. Carmina might’ve ignored something Ivana had asked and other forms of miscommunication.
During the second age, after Vilya went nuts and exploded the entirety of the weave, Viessa’s magic became quite unstable, so she might’ve exploded Lucien a couple of times. Viessa’s gotten a few cuts when Lucien’s been careless with his weapons.
38. Have they ever hurt each other deliberately?
Nope, neither of them have any time for this juvenile attitude of “oh they aren't acting like i want them to so i’ll do something bad to make them realize. Like no, that's so dumb.
They’ve said some nasty stuff to each other in the beginning. Lucien wasn’t very sympathetic nor comforting to Viessa when all that undead stuff unraveled. And Viessa used to be very frustrated with him and his antics
39. Who gets hit on the most?
Carmina, bc she is a bombshell, just a quirky one. And Ivana’s aura is so offputting even her coworkers refuse to talk to her if it isn’t absolutely necessary
Lucien, he makes it super easy for anyone to approach him and is more out there than Viessa is. Not that Viessa doesn’t get hit on
40. Who tries to distract the other when they’re trying to do something else?
They respect the other’s space. It’s more “hey when you got a second come look at this”. And I think Carmina would do that a bit more
Lucien, especially when he’s bored, constantly asking Viessa what she’s doing, laying in increasingly weird position on the couch behind her desk, throwing daggers at a wall, etc general nuisance stuff
#very on brand for me to take an entire day basically to write these#oh well#time to grab my treat i've been saving it#im pretty sure i've answe
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ep18 (1/2): in which wwx manipulates and lies to his friends and family (lovingly)
forgot this. he can just fly around catching birds. no wonder it's so easy to camp
I feel like birthdays really only crop up in american tv in the context of little kids. it's something children do.
xy twirling his hair as he walks away 😭 can your believe ppl still ship them after he murdered SL's entire family
this was such a good change for the show to make bc 1. this introduces the idea of bssr really naturally and 2. it gives wwx another interaction with SL, which is emotionally significant later for both us and the characters
also they need to slip in his backstory and all of its parallels to wx somehow and waiting until yi city is way too late
oh cool I love a t/n
wwx making it a mystical quest bound in ceremony and ritual to prevent jc from suspecting or asking too many questions, and to control his actions. ugh
that post abt jc hero-worshipping wwx continues to baffle me. in fact this is the only time we ever see jc so eager to follow wwx's directions and do what he says
'let her do anything' she is a grown woman she can gather herbs if she wants and what authority do you have to stop her 😭
this smile after he convinces jc about his plan is so haunting. you can see he's sxcited and then the smile fades and he just looks...resigned? fucking misery
yanqing warriors! when wwx mentions jyl leaving soon, wen qing freezes and doesn't say anything for a few seconds. what can it mean hmm?
I don't think jc would have accepted the core if he knew what wwx planned, which is why wwx kept it secret. one of the reasons
this is kind of manipulative no? not in a way to hurt her just to get her to agree with his plan. and maybe he means it too. maybe he would have done with without the debt of the jiangs held over his head. we'll never know
drugging you sister. sir!
I think it's really funny when wwx insults jc sorry I always will. he deserves to at least a little
first shot of wwx looking like a little mousie with his threabare pillow and jc a raging little brat. very similar to the first shot of the show! wwx bleeding and suicidal, and jc stalking over to finish the job. but in that scene and this one, we see there's more to the story
im going to fucking isekai myself into cql universe for the sole purpose of cuddling this child
you know I was so excited for jfm to say that. like go jfm! the haters were wrong about you! you love and protect at least one child under your care!
and then it IMMEDIATELY cuts to wwx hours later freezing because jfm told him 'jc is a good kid' and then he LEFT HIM THERE AND WENT TO BED
FUCK HIM FUCK HIM FUCK HIM. USELESS BASTARD. YOU ARE THE PROBLEM HERE
ugh it's not cool to hate on a 9 year old esp since he's lonely and neglected by his dad but he's such a brat
her parents and sect are so useless this preteen girl has to go out into the woods at like 1 am to find her new brother
wwx's first instinct was to find a tree to climb. dogs can't climb trees, but how many trees were in yiling for him to learn to climb? hmm
wwx falling is such a theme and jyl being the only one besides lwj to ever try to catch him....ough. his two lights indeed
jyl also actually explains why jc is upset rather than just telling him he'll be fine
HALF A DAY??!! hasn't he suffered enough. mein gott
and of course now she has to parent her two baby brothers one of whom is very traumatized and newly adopted and the other is very socially inept and clumsy so he came out to help and now he's BLEEDING. if I was her I would have carried so much resentment as an adult oops her parents are dead so I guess she can't even if she wanted to
YOU WILL SAY IT CRYING SOMEDAY
it's significant that (iirc) jc never says he's sorry in the main timeline. only twice in the story - here and at the very end. a lot of people consider the finale the end of their relationship, but I prefer to see it as a reset. a renewal. they're starting again. jc is crying and he's sorry for hurting wwx, and wwx forgives him because he's a nice kid and because he does care about him. and they can start from there, even if things will be different
they don't have jyl anymore, but everything's come out between them. they can coexist on equal footing. wwx has someone who protects him. jc doesn't resent him so much. all his anger is spent. he feels bad. they won't be what they were before, but I like to think they'll at least have some of the brotherhood they once did
jc also crying in his sleep with this flashback. lot of sleep crying these days
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Having such a pointless crisis of whether or not to wear a rainbow lanyard finally for my last few weeks of work!!
See I bought a cool rainbow lanyard like a few months ago, thinking damn wouldn't it be neat?? Then I got reminded that I work with 11yr olds and younger students, and their parents. And parents might think anything. So much safer to stick to my neutral old university lanyard.
It's been taunting me for months bc what a shame!! I'd love to be that person kids can see and come for support if they need. Will it make much of a difference to wear for a few days that are left? Well no. But maybe just maybe it's important for like one kid.
But also i'm scared bc its not truly neutral allyship for me, I have my own horse in the boat so to say. Can't say I wouldn't cry if I realize I'm being judged or get asked directly and hatefully about it by a dumb 11yr old...
Also why switch lanyard all of a sudden? Why be public ally in a school where it's not mentioned anywhere as is. I've got concoted like a plan to say aw thanks for noticing my friend got it for me (lie) just recently (lie) and i thought it'd be cool to wear just as support (lie) as june is just starting! And aren't rainbows neat? (True)
I'm gonna ask a vibe check in the morning from my favourite teacher buddy. She's terribly nice but maybe she can tell me if the adults at school generally have a conservative view and it's not worth it.
Or i'll be brave and say who the hell cares I might never come back and they've had like half a year to form an impression of me.
Aaaaaaaa help!
Just scared of doing something outside the norm i've built and maybe potentially rocking the boat when i'm almost gone. Like i may as well, not a big loss and could be beneficial. But i'd lose nothing but the chance to if I don't.
It's literally just a lanyard and i already know what i'll say if someone asks (they might not at all!) Maybe it'll cause me sitting anxiety, maybe a kid will say they like it and that'll make it all worth it. I should just do it bc fucking who cares.
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ooh for that ask meme. ai + multiples of 5 & buried stars + multiples of 4
OOUGH OKAY putting under a cut for length (and spoilers)
AI
5) worst discord server and why
you already know :P
10) worst part of fanon
uhhh "date isn't falco" takes annoy me. like date's grown obviously he's changed since then but all parts of the self are still you in some way. you don't make a person out of nothing
15) that one thing you see in fanart all the time
i mean. eye motifs but i think that's cool as fuck frankly
20) part of canon you found tedious or boring
much as i love aitsf to death, the beginning of right route SUCKS its so slow and retreads a ton of ground you've likely already seen. also a lot of aini but that's a different beast
25) common fandom complaint that you’re sick of hearing
sick of people who hate bibi none of you understand her like i do
BSTARS
4) what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?
ive only blocked one person and it was bc they were writing adult/minor nsfw in a different fandom
8) common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about
i am generally unaware of other people's opinions. both bc so few people have played this game and also i agree with the majority of takes i see
12) the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them
tbh most of the cast has their fair share of fans. obligated to say seil though. he's MY pathetic wet cat in a paper bag. not elaborating though because PLAY THE GAME FIRST SYLWEK
16) you can’t understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)
uhhh sometimes i see seil/hyesung ship art on twitter and it sincerely baffles me. like i don't. care? but also????? oh and whenever i see minnow shipped w the guys im just like. they are lesbians your honour
20) part of canon you found tedious or boring
personally i don't like how the split for A/B routes is rly early but it still retreads a ton of the same ground between em
24) topic that brings up the most rancid discourse
i am completely unaware of buried stars themed discourse and i hope to stay that way <3
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wut's a trend from the 90s/early 2000s u wanna see make a comeback? :0
THANK YOU FOR ASKING
For those who don’t know Hi I’m Grave and I am obsessed with 90’s-2012 things and have archives and logs of media, specifically web, of things from those eras
1:Radio shack
As someone who is getting into ham radio and also just misses being able to get funky little add ons to computers and shit, I think we should all as a collective demand a radio shack. “Oh bUt yOu hAvE bEst bUy” I will literally slit your throat if you are dumb enough to think that that ugly wanna be ikea shit is anything remotely similar to big daddy Radio Shack
2:Chatrooms
Was I way too young to be on them back when they were popular? Yes. Did that result into trauma? Yes. But I’ve learned my lesson and now I want this shit back so bad. I LOVE chat rooms. “YeAh wE hAvE dIscOrd aNd DMS” ITS NOT THE SAME FUCKING THING AND YOU KNOW IT.
Bring back chatzy, bring back IRC (I’m active on a few), I’m even on Wireclub if anyone wants to join my chat rooms there!!! And pesterchum
3: physical copies of media
I hate streaming services. I hate it. There is nothing but zombie glossy eyed, let’s market to the brain dead, shit on there. Like yes, I love some of the shows, but we have lost so much shit from moving to streaming services. Remember on a VHS or DVD where you could watch behind the scenes, bloopers, play movie/show related games all on a tape/disk???? It’s the same with any physical music media too. I think it makes you more so focused on what entertainment you actually like. Too many people just like things because it’s popular or trending, which is fine, but when it comes down to it do you actively want to OWN something physical from the media? If not then is it something you’re willing to put time into then? Why not do something else?
4:Arcades
I’m not talking about that Dave and buster shit. I’m talking not scam (at least not as bad as it is now) arcades that was on every Main Street, in every mall, like in a mall now of days is a small as shit arcade if it’s NOT Dave and busters. I hate Dave and busters mainly bc they ruined a genre. It was marketed as a arcade for adults but then they added kid I pad games and now it’s just an awkward overpriced place to be where you can see a seven year old play cross road or angry birds on a glorified I pad and also see grown men get shit faced drunk.
5:MAGAZINES
Literally so hard to find good magazines now of days. Especially for a cost that won’t fucking kill you. I managed to get most of mine second hand, but it’s so hard to find anyplace that sells magazines especially ones that are to kids without being too babyish. I go to a grocery store and if I look for a young girls/boys magazine it’s about very YOUNG things to the point I don’t think the market audience can even read??? That or it’s just guns or gardening. Which is cool, but there isn’t anything for teenagers really anymore. Like yes there are, but you have to sign up online for it which is fine, but I miss being excited to go to the corner store to see if there is any latest addition of the magazine I loved there.
6:social interactions
You would jus stay outside or inside right next to your phone/computer waiting for someone to come by and tell you where everyone else is at. Like having to go walk to every gas station and corner store to see if your friends are there and getting excited when they are actually there. I am thankful for being able to easily like meet up with people, but like the feeling you get when you run into people and then go fuck off is so fun
7:The video games
Video game quality has gone down hill. I’m not talking about highly detailed story based games, no. I’m talking about app games, free to play games, all that shit. It is now a click bait, league clone, or clash clone. And it’s BORING. It’s all ad based and trying to suck as much money from you as possible and it’s all so ugly in that ugly 3D art style.
8:intelligence
*insert the tweet about how if you say you like waffles people will just assume it means you hate pancakes* people today do not have common sense anymore.
9: sense of community
#coquette #grassfromthegardencore #corefromcore
Like yes, back then was also elitist, but not as bad and forced as it is now. So many people today are so focused on aesthetic labels instead of just focusing on what they just like. Like yes, labels are comforting, but to the point you’re desperately asking what aesthetic this is so you can then throw out and change your aesthetic to match it and then repeat over and over? Gross.
10: early web memes
Memes arnt long lasting today as it was back then. There aren’t even memes today. Just a tiktok video that was posted on Twitter. I hate it.
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KOOKIE I HAD THE BEST DAY TODSY WTF?!
OK FIRST I HAD MY FIRST FULL PERIOD WITH MY SOCIAL STUDIES TEACHER
OMG HE’S SO GIRLBOSS 😤😤😤😤😤 HES A FEMINIST, ANTI RACIST, ANTI SEXIST, ANTI HOMOHOBIC, ANTI MISOGYNY 🤧🤧🤧🤧 NOT TO MENTION HE HAS A PRIDE FLAG WITH ALL THE COLORS AND A BADASS SNAKE TAT 🤭🤭 🫶🏽
He’s Asian American, or half Filipino and half American. AND HE DOESNT SUGARCOAT HOW BAD AMERICA IS LIKE TWO MINUTES AFTER WE WALKED IN HE STRAIGJT UP SAID “WE STOLE THIS LAND FROM NATIVE AMERICANS AND I WILL NEVER FORGIVE AMERICA FOR THAT.” LIKE HELLO?! YES STAN!!!
He’s so SOCIALLY AWARE about cultural incompetence and appropriation!!! He appreciates black brown and Asian communities so fucking much and it’s like, yes!! FINALLY!! He also has so many Roe v Wade posters BECAUSE HE BELIEVES ABORTION IS A HUMAN FUCKING RIGHT‼️‼️‼️‼️ he talked about how rock and roll is literally from Black women, a church sister moved really fast on her guitar and BAM ROCK AND ROLL and he outright admitted that white people appropriated the heck out of it and made it a “white thing” 😨
Since he’s half Filipino, he has this fish hook (?) necklace and tattoo because it honors his leadership. And he said when people ask him “omg u have a Maui necklace” he feels bad because his culture is reduced to a cartoon character!!! And I made so many connections with him in terms of cultural disrespect. I said that it’s sort of like jasmine bc I said “when I complain that there’s no south Asian representation in media someone and their mother has to tell me ‘what about jasmine/Aladdin’ these media are never culturally accurate. Bc aladddin is literally made of Turk, Desi, and Arabic culture mixed in to one to give white people “ a taste of south Asians 😜😍” and I said that and he was like “RIGHT, ITS SO FRUSTRATING BEING REDUCED TO SOMETHING THATS NOT CULTURALLY ACCURATE.” AND I WAS LIKE?! HELLO HE’S SO AWARE ABOUT CURRENT MEDIA LIKE MY OLD HISTORY TEACHER COULD NEVER 😩
NEXT WE WERE READING THESE POEMS AND THE TOPIC KF MISOGNy and you wanna know what he told the boys?!
“All you little boys here, if you wanna be a REAL man in the future then being a REAL man is not putting down women. Women have to right to speak up and put you in your place if you’re being rude, which men have a long history of doing. If you ever disrespect a woman gouge your eyes out and be ashamed. I don’t wanna see that Andrew Tate behavior in my classroom. I also don’t thing your mothers will be happy you spend your life on sexism and misogyny, so If you don’t wanna explain your actions to your own mother, i demand you change your mentality if you haven’t already.”
LIKE HELLO?! HE KNOWS ABOUT ANDREW TATE?! I JUST KNOW HE WOULD EAT UP THAT H0E IN SECONDS
He’s my new fav teacher no questions asked.
Also my playlist KEPT PLAYING MY FAVORITE SONGS?! Like it must be that I followed you and realized that your so amazing that I got all this good karma 🥵🥵🥵
ANYWAYS ILYSM KOOTI FRUITY 😍😍😍😍🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽 HOW WAS UR DAY?!
KUMA. IM GOING TO SNEAK INTO YOUR FUCKING SOCIALS CLASS. IM ON THE WAY RN BROOO UR TEACHER SOUNDS AMAZING AGHHHH HE SOUNDS SO COOL ???? LIKE ITS SO RARE TO MEET AN ADULT LIKE THAT IN GENERAL AGH IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU IM JEALOUSSSSS 😭😭
bro just the name andrew tate makes me furious i’ve only seen a few clips of him because i genuinely cannot listen to the shit rhat comes out of his mouth 💀 so happy he got his platform taken away BUT AGHH UR TEACHER SAID NOTHING BUT FACTS. SO TRUE BRO ESPECIALLY ABORTION. ANYONE WHO THINKS ABORTION SHOULD BE ILLEGAL NEEDS TO GET TF AWAY FROM ME LIKE ABSOLUTELY NOT 🥰🥰 as he should he would be my favorite too ☝️💯
OMG YES WHATRE SOME OF UR FAVORITE SONGS I’D LOVE TO LISTEN TO THEM 🫶🫶 and yeah that was actually me i personally told ur playlist to play the bops!! 💯🥰 ur welcome!!
ILYT KUMIE WUMIE 💖💯🫶 MY DAY WAS GREAT IT WAS SI NICE AND SUNNY AND AND IM SO EXCITED CUZ SPLATOON 3 CAME OUT WHICH IVE BEEN WAITING FOR FOR OVER A YEAR. IM GONNA PLAY IT ALL DAY MWAHHAHA
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{ prev was the-sleepiest-of-all , valentine-the-beloved , favorite--daughter }
🌗 { INTRO POST } 🌓
>
🌗 { IMPORTANT INFO } 🌓
{ ♡ im XYZ! (aka a few other things) ♡ }
{ ♡ im a minor (6teen) !!! ♡ }
{ ♡ two spirit, and native american !! ♡ }
{ ♡ hyperfixated on dsmp!! ♡ }
{ ♡ c!connor enthusiast and c!quackity apologist ♡ }
{ ♡ in many fandoms + communities, but youll find more dsmp content!! ♡ }
{ ♡ artist / writer !! (send me prompts) ♡ }
{ ♡ thats about it!! heres my fandom list , byf/byi, and extras !!! :D!! ♡ }
>
🌗 { FANDOM LIST slash things im into } 🌓
{ things in pink are the things im super into!! }
° • ~ AJR !!!!!!!
° • ~ DSMP!!
° • ~ connoreatspants + jschlatt (chuckle sandwich, smplive, etc.)
° • ~ minecraft in general
° • ~ bojack horseman ❤
° • ~ House MD
° • ~ sailor v <3
° • ~ supernatural + doctor who
° • ~ sailor moon!!!
° • ~ space
° • ~ puss in boots the last wish
° • ~ marvel!!
° • ~ adult animation ! (rick and morty, inside job, bobs burgers, etc.)
° • ~ musicals !!!!
° • ~ sanders sides
>
🌗 { EXTRAS } 🌓
~ posts r normally random!! i talk a lot so expect thoughts that r all over the place
~ pumpkin duo, quackcicle, tntduo, karlnapity (basically any ship w/ quackity)
~ send me asks ab what i write for!!! i can give u headcanons if u want!!! or write something for u!!! just hmu!!
~ i am super duper cool!!
~ big c!connor fan !!! (and c!quackity)
~ same thing w/ art!!! i wanna get better ahaha
>
> my dni / trigger list is NOT public for my own saftey, but if we are close, you can ask for it /gen (although, while i believe my triggers arent others responsilibity, if i do tell you, i ask that you do be careful with what ive named around me.)
🌗{ SUPER IMPORTANT , BYF / BYI } 🌓
> 21+ dni (unless I know you and you've confirmed beforehand) I don't like adults following me!!! I'm a teen and just fuck around on this blog, so it's a little weird to me if a bunch of old ppl are following me
> i am dyslexic. i misspell things all the time, unless we are close you are Not allowed to make fun of me for it. same thing with how i read numbers (i have dyscalculia)
> while my dms are open, please Do Not be weird about it. i don't want weird messages or anything.
> don't be rude to me! i block people very easily.
> i Do like u, and i care ab you, but please do not vent to me. esp if i dont know u that well. i get overwhelmed easy, and im not good at comforting. (ofc if i offer go ahead!! and there are exceptions 2 this rule, like my partners and close friends)
> dont send asks about my dad!!! its not silly goofy, i miss him and i didnt hate his guts!!! condolences are welcome, but dont be an ass :/
>
🌗 { LAST NOTES } 🌓
if u wanna dm me for my discord!!! i am so active there ^_^
i swear i am super nice i seem a little mentally ill but just ask my friends i am so awesome
also u can ask for my other socials!!! i am also super active on tiktok and love getting new followers LMAO
thats it ^_^ btw u can always send asks!! i love getting asks!! (if anons are off, its bc im getting harassed </3, just dm me if u want 'em back on :D)
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Toasty u are so wise. I'm 20 and idek how to apply for a job or any self independent things really. I feel like I'm so behind and out of time how do you do things :((((
I almost just spit out applesauce. I think by "wise" you mean "Are 31 and have been through a lot of stupid life shit and acquired some know-how on the way". Also I had a leg up on most people by benefiting from:
-Parents who actually took the time to teach me about tax forms, government loans, cooking, and are still available to call if i have an issue. (Do you think at 31 I don't call my dad and go "My dishwasher is leaking, do i take it apart or call a plumber?" Bc i Do. All the freaking time. First time house owner here. Its a lovable nightmare of learning)
-I'm the younger sibling. I got to watch my older sister suffer for not knowing things and decided to learn them when she did so I wouldn't make the same mistakes.
BELIEVE ME. By the time you are 31, you too will have learned an astronomical amount about Life and Things and How to Do Stuff!
But until then!
Don't let feeling left behind or embarrassed stop you from ASKING and LEARNING. Don't know how to apply to a job? Call them and ask for instructions. Be polite. Let them know you have never done this before and are trying to ensure you do it thoroughly and properly. Or google it! Or ask a friend who just got a job!
WikiHow is incredible for around the house fixes! Don't be afraid to get down and dirty with a toilet that's being a pain! Toilets are USUALLY extremely simple to fix. They only have a few parts, and they are reasonably cheap and quick to replace. Always have more towels than you think you need.
Libraries are SO COOL. I just went into mine this year in my new town and was like "yo my printer broke can I use yours and scan and fax some documents? Except I don't know how to fax things (bc its fucking 2022) but i have the number here. Also I need a form notarized, how do I do that please?" and you know what???? The ladies held my hand and walked me through the whole process step by step and there are actually notaries on staff every day! the whole thing cost me 25 cents.
I have to go to work but I have more adult tidbits coming! Don't worry! You're going to make it!
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PLEASE talk more about ren & stimpy if you’d like to!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH It genuinely means a lot. Where do i even begin
american animation had been in like a complete dark age (save for a few bright moments) from like the late 60s through most of da 80s. at least in television: i don’t think there’s a lot of ways to create a great animated tv show bc the production process is so rigid and asks for boatloads of content to be released one after the other after the other. artists had to take a lot of shortcuts to keep up with the strict deadlines that were inherent to the very medium they were working in, and i think it rlly did a number on the quality of american animation. combine this w the fact that by the 80s Every tv cartoon was just an advertisement for a toy + animation had garnered a reputation of being for kids, and it rlly did look like the future of television animation was just dead
But then…… mighty mouse the new adventures 😼 created by THE ralph bakshi who made the first adult american animated film (fritz the cat is like a #1 favorite film of mine I love it to bits 😁), and was supported by a shitload of younger animators who had enough of working in what they saw as a hopeless medium. they let a lot of their anger and frustration out through the show, and they all kinda bonded through their shared cynicism and boredom lol. 3 of them, including the senior director of the show Who was also like. kinda bakshi’s protege (john k), decided to form their own studio, and the studio hereby declared as spümcø formed a couple years later through the addition of a final 4th co-founder
so like a little while after spümcø was created, a small company known as nickelodeon was looking for animators to create their own original cartoons. Some of the higher-ups at nick wanted to reach out to a large younger audience, and they noticed the manufactured state of television animation and thought that it was terrible entertainment for these potential viewers. nick held meetings with a lot of aspiring creators, and spümcø was one of the last of them: they got lucky as all hell, and before they knew they had one of the 1st nicktoons on their hands
Why did i tell you all this lol???? bc ren and stimpy was very much a product of its time And i think that made it so timeless: the anger and cynicism that essentially created the studio absolutely bled over to r+s and it absolutely shows. the creators have gone out of their way to clarify that its a show for kids bc of how controversial its content was, but i really dont think that was the case And i mean that in the best way possible. it was more a show for them: they got a chance to make the cartoons they had been waiting their whole careers to make, and they took it. the look of the show wears its inspirations on its sleeve, harkening back to early hanna-barbera tv shows and bob clampett’s warner brothers cartoons that the animators had grown up on (which is actually another reason why i think the show is cool… They purposefully avoided the artistic shortcuts i mentioned earlier!! This method definitely had its faults but it created a really beautiful looking show that appreciated that it was animated ya know); there were jokes and pop culture references, but they were in the form of non-sequiturs to old kirk douglas movies and burl ives songs that no 10 year-old was ever gonna understand; there were real emotions on display, but they werent overly syrupy happiness and the like, there was like genuine discomfort and horror at times. Im not fucking joking Heres a quote i found that sums up what i wanna say here its from an eric andre interview of all places
(side note i first learned abt ren and stimpy because john k’s in the new year’s eve spooktacular. Small world)
this weird ass show came from a place of pure anarchy. It was very much a reaction to all the ways television animation had been wronged in the past, but it created this edgy and counterculturist show that helped bring life back to a medium previously considered dead, and it opened the gateway to countless other shows like it. for example, ren and stimpy also aired on mtv (which is so weird to think about. A nicktoon was on mtv) and the shows success was a reason why the channel agreed to produce mike judge’s short “frog baseball” into a full series, which obviously became beavis and butt-head. And without beavis and butt-head we wouldnt have like the past 30 years of adult animated television so there ya go
but also like! going back to that eric andre quote, that style of uncomfortable comedy mustve influenced a lot of modern comedies, at the very least because r+s helped make that style more mainstream. not to mention the shows gross-out humor, which was seen as sooooo controversial back in the day
I think im gonna stop here bc this is already long as is But this is only scraping the top of the barrel imo this show is so so crazy. its literally shaped the past 30 years of american pop culture imo but i feel like bc its a nicktoon nobody ever really acknowledges it, hopefully this like changes your mind idk I hope my ramblings make a semblance of sense
Anyways heres a quote about john k keeping horse teeth under his pillow as a kid
#if anyone ever wants me to talk about ren and stimpy again Please ask me to talk about the split between spumco and nickelodeon.....#john was literally fired from the show only 13 months after it premiered LOL i have a lot of thoughts abt it#but seriously Thank you whoever asked me this this rlly does mean a lot 🥺 ive been waiting all day to get back to this Not even joking#hope somebody enjoys reading this <3
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2023
its been over a year.. a year and almost a month to be exact, since you last heard from me.
don't worry don't worry. I didn't kill myself. i am alive. yippee I guess.
2023 has been...interesting. here's the recap:
January 2023
I got a new car and got to go to mobile for the new year. it was fun but it also sucked. it was the first time I realized how different Elliot and I were. I was working a, at first, good job, and I had my own place with a friend's sister.
February 2023
I was deep in my depression and trying hard to cope with being an actual adult with bills, and was overly stressed
march 2023
It was a good month, I went to the beach with Elliot, we bonded..alot and it was amazing. I realized our differences were the same, but we had our own way of voicing the same problems we were noticing. I also learned that my depression was always there, and it affects me to a point where I do not think I can come back. I also got a new job
April 2023
I was working my new job. it was amazing. I started to really want to be my own person, but couldn't figure out how. I also got really bad ocd about cleaning bc of my roommate..she was not that clean of a person.
may 2023
alot happened here and it was a big turning point for me. this entire month was way harder than anything I have felt since my ex. I was depressed and stressed and was fighting hard to keep myself from projecting and worrying people I love. Elliot and I went to ATL to see the braves, and that Monday night on our way back, I asked him what would he do if I just killed myself, unprompted. he was shocked and concerned. that night I was going to kms once he left. I had an amazing trip and I loved and love Elliot dearly. but I think I was so far in the depression that it was hard for me to mask these things at this point. he stated with me that night, but we went no contact for a few says after this incident. a few days later, he asked me to get therapy and the help I needed or he was going to have to walk away.. I choose to keep working on myself and our relationship. I went to therapy that next week. Elliot and I set great boundaries in our relationship and it was a big turning point in our relationship.
June 2023
Elliot and I are doing better. boundaries are being met. I'm in the full swing of therapy, and feeling alot better, with some ups and downs here and there. Elliot went on a beach trip, and I felt so lonely without him. its when I realized I needed to make more friends and not want to rely on him so much. I learned that I needed to love myself and being alone With myself. Elliot also got ready to study abroad, so this would help. I also got to help Elliot and his sister with a Minecraft camp they do!
July 2023
I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression and the big one, Bipolar 2. welp. all those years saying I was bipolar as a joke became true lmao. I started go to a psychiatrist in the middle of this month. I also moved out of my apartment because I was drunk and said some fuck shit lmao. oh whale.
august 2023
Elliot is back, I'm finally getting into the full swing of my medications and I am feeling more...okay I guess you could say. we are really happy and he and I are doing well. I am back at home with my parents but I am working hard and doing all I can to see and be with Elliot. so far I am nervous and scared to tell them whenever I am going to his place or just going to be with him in general.
September 2023
I left my job and got a new one, the drive was my main factor. it was about 40ish minutes away from my house, and 1hr 10 from Elliots. I needed a shorty commute. got a new job, and its cool. decided to lay low and keep to myself like I did at my old job but alloooooootttt less. it also came with a whole 2 dollar pay raise sooooo hell yeah. 30 mins from my parents. 40 from Elliots. ill take it.
October 2023
short month. don't recall alot happened here. just wanting to spend more time with Elliot.
November 2023
its our birthday month. I also have been medicated for about 6 months from this point. I'm pretty chill now I suppose. I am enjoying life. and oh yeah, I did mushrooms for the first time while crossed with weed. it was amazing. 10/10 want to do it again asap lmao. I also moved back into a babyroom. I really start to bond with the baby teachers and have been loving it. it is more of a family here than the last place.
December 2023
well here we are. this year has been pretty amazing. I have enjoyed it. honestly..this year was my 2018 year. how well everything was going. now that means 2024 will be my 2019...the best year I have had yet to date.
I am asking for an amazing year next year. to finally stick to routines, working out, being energetic, being productive, staying onto of me writing and reading, and having people to hold me be accountable for once. I am hoping for the best year I could ever have. I am hoping Elliot and I continue to have the best time together and just work through all the hardships we could possible have. for us to both be strong individually and to mentally prepared for this new time in our life that is about to happen. I am asking the universe, god, and anyone else who will listen, to allow him to get all his dreams to come true, all his worries to go away and from him to continue to have the guidance and maturity he has. I am asking the universe, god, and anyone else who will listen to allow me to continue to be strong. for me to continue to better myself and let go of the things and people who do not better me in anyway. I am asking for financial guidance, mental guidance and anything else you could give me. I am asking for you to cast all my self doubts of not being able to lose weight, stay healthy, going to the gym, being productive and so much more away. I am asking that you to keep me going.
2023. thank you. its been something. until next time.
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