#and know that june's love for nick will never fail | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

drewsbuzzcut · 6 months

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All American Lace

nick moldenhauer x dallas blankenburg

a so it goes fic (7.3k words! def the longest i have ever written)

warnings: angst, insecurities, jealousy, slight physical touch, pettiness, mentions passing out, and I think that’s all but let me know if I missed anything

SUNDAY

“I really don’t think it’s all that crazy,” Nick states, his arm thrown over Dallas’ waist as they lay in his bed.

“Just because it’s crazy, doesn’t mean it’s bad. It’s very crazy if we get married. We’re only 19,” Dallas says through a sleepy voice. They’ve been talking about Nick’s proposal from a month ago. Dallas knows her answer, yes of course, but she still can’t get herself to go through with it. She’s too ridden with fear of their relationship failing because of an early marriage. She just needs a push, though. One push so she can say yes.

“So what? Nathan and Haley got married while they were still in high school. I know our relationship is strong enough to last through anything,” he brings out the big guns, referencing one tree hill, one of their favorite shows to binge together.

“That’s just a show, babe. It isn’t real life.”

“It can be real life for us,” he sighs, hand caressing her cheek as her hand rubs at his shoulder.

Screw it. She’s going to go with her gut and heart and finally answer his question. Maybe they can go browsing at thrift stores for vintage dresses. It is Sunday after all.

“Nick, I love you so much.”

“I love you.”

She kisses his lips, barely brushing against them.

“I will-“

“Nick! You have a visitor!” The couple hear the shout from behind the door.

Nick gives a confused look to Dallas before getting off the bed and getting dressed.

“I’ll be right back,” he says, walking out the door.

Dallas stays frozen, angered that her opportunity got ruined. She gets off the bed, throwing on one of his shirts that has his last name on the back, and follows her boyfriend. When she gets to the front door, she freezes, feeling a sense of discomfort washing over her. Her boyfriend was hugging another girl. Another girl who is absolutely beautiful. She has soft skin, long red hair, and the greenest eyes she’s ever seen. Her smile is beautiful and Dallas thinks she might be feeling jealous. Who is this girl and why is she hugging her boyfriend?

When Nick finally lets go of the unknown girl, he turns around and is quick to spot Dallas. His smile is wide, like a kid on Christmas.

“June, this is a close friend from home, Inez.”

So she has a name. Inez. It’s beautiful and rare to Dallas’ ears.

“Inez, this is Dallas my girl-“

“His fiancée,” Dallas interjects, reaching out her hand for Inez to shake.

“Fiancée? Wow, Nick, you never told me you were getting married. Congrats,” she cheers, although Dallas can hear the surprise in her voice.

Nick’s stuck on Dallas, silently freaking out that she just called herself his fiancée. He’s shocked by her words, not really understanding why she’d introduce herself with that title without even giving him an answer first. He shakes his conflicting thoughts out of his head, not wanting to open up that conversation at the moment.

“Yeah, my fiancée,” he pulls his girl into his arms.

“Well, Dallas, it’s really nice to meet you. I can’t say I’ve heard much about you though,” Dallas grits her teeth, her brain starting to create reasons as to why Nick never brought her up to his friend. She didn’t know that Nick hasn’t talked to Inez in months.

“I can say the same,” she decides to answer with.

“I guess that means we have to get to know each other. I hate to impose, but I really need to shower all the airport off of me. Do you mind, Nick?” Her voice is soft and sweet. Dallas finds it annoying.

“No, go ahead.”

Once she’s out of sight, Dallas turns to Nick with a questioning look.

“Okay, so who are we getting to babysit her while we go to the thrift stores?” Dallas asks, albeit a bit rudely, but she disguises it by leaning up to wrap her arms around his neck.

“She’s not a child. I can’t go to thrift stores today. I need to stay here with Inez,” he says softly. He’s bothered, she can tell by the way he barely touches her.

“It’s Sunday, though. We always go to the thrift stores,” she points out.

“Well, I can’t go today,” Dallas doesn’t know it, but by Nick not going, or suggesting they take Inez, he’s protecting their sunday tradition. He does feel guilty for breaking it, though. They always go to the thrift stores on Sunday unless he has a hockey game or other team requirement.

“Are you serious?” She spits out, already wanting to burst into tears. He’s never put her second to another girl.

“I’m sorry, baby,” he kisses her forehead.

“It’s whatever. I’m going to head out, stick to my Sunday tradition,” she mutters, throwing a low blow at him. The tradition did start off as her own, so she’s letting him know that it’ll always be hers even after involving him.

He feels his heart pang in his chest at her comment.

Dallas trudges through his room, collecting her items and dressing in her clothes. She walks past him, not even saying bye, and makes her way to her car.

If she sped all the way to her favorite thrift store while blaring angry Taylor Swift, well no one had to know.

Dallas hates to admit it, but being at the thrift store doesn’t feel the same without Nick. She kicks herself for being so harsh. She knows she’s in the wrong, and probably being too jealous, but she couldn’t help it. How could he choose Inez over her? Over their sacred tradition.

Sweet, perfect Inez. Dallas rolls her eyes at the mere image of her. Stopping at one of the mirrors in between aisles, she stares at herself. She hates that she’s letting herself dig a hole that she knows she won’t be able to climb out of. She takes a deep breath in, slowly breathing out every insecurity and horrid thought of the girl that now plagued her mind. When she opens her eyes, she spots an old wedding dress. It’s the most beautiful dress she’s ever seen. It has a bunch of lace and it was made in America. It’s also vintage and in perfect condition. A rare find. Dallas immediately puts it in her cart, feeling giddy at the thought of her wearing it when she marries Nick.

About an hour later, Dallas decided to head to checkout, purchasing the dress, a white button up for Nick, and a fancy watch for him as well.

Once back at her own place, in her room she finds an old box that’s ready to be filled with anything that has to do with their wedding. She feels a little crazy thinking about it, but she knows that she wants to marry Nick. She knows that she doesn’t want to wait.

MONDAY

Dallas opens her door to find Nick who immediately pulls her into a bone crushing hug. He noses at her hair, inhaling her addicting scent and kisses her lips a few times.

“I’m sorry. I love you.”

“I love you, Nicky.”

“I hope it’s okay that I brought Inez with me,” and just like that Dallas is back to feeling unwell.

She sucks it up, welcoming the girl into her home. She hopes that her smile didn’t falter enough to show just how much she didn’t like the idea.

“You decorate so nicely,” Inez compliments as she makes herself comfortable on the couch, opposite of Dallas who’s in Nick’s arms.

“Oh, thank you. A lot of it has to do with my roommate and best friend, Sienna. She’s going to be an interior designer,” Dallas says, trying to put on a friendly smile.

“That’s cool!”

“So, how long have you and Nick been friends?” Dallas asks, intertwining her fingers with Nicks.

“Since 5th grade! We have gone through a lot together. Nick has always been the one I do everything with,” Inez says with a sadness to her tone. Her smile isn’t as bright, but it’s still genuine.

“Wow, the 5th grade? That’s a long time. You must know each other very well,” Dallas concludes.

“We do! When I saw the instagram post of your Halloween costumes, I was very surprised. Nick has never really cared for Halloween and doing the whole couples costume thing. As well as when Nick told me he proposed on Valentine’s Day; I was in shock. I’ve never known Nick to like that holiday or be so romantic,” as Inez says all this, Dallas can feel her heart sink into her stomach.

Every word being spoken to her starts to fade out and she feels like the guy sitting next to her isn’t who she thought. To everyone it may have been him lying about those two holidays- that most people don’t even consider holidays, but a lot of pivotal memories happened during those events. Without even realizing it, Dallas stoically pulls her hand from where it was cradled in Nicks. Eerily feeling like a stranger in her own home.

Inez and Nick only spend a couple more hours with the girl, talking and laughing while everything continues to be reevaluated in Dallas’ mind. She tries to smile and converse with them, but she just feels so out of place.

It’s not until they leave that she feels like she can breathe. She has time to go through everything and think about how he technically lied to her. Why wouldn’t he tell her that he didn’t care for Halloween? She wouldn’t have made him dress up with her.

She moves throughout the day, but everything seems to pass her by. Even when Nick comes by later that night to bring her food, she’s not even present.

“What’s wrong, baby?” Nick cups her cheek, trying to get her to connect eyes with him.

Dallas feels her tears trailing down her cheeks, although she isn’t aware that she’s actually crying until Nick frowns in worry.

“She’s your best friend,” speaking those words is almost impossible. It feels like burning bile in her throat, because she’s supposed to be his best friend, but how could she when felt like she didn’t even really know him.

“What’re you talking about?” His voice is soft and low. He continues to wipe away her tears as they fall.

“Inez, she’s your best friend,” she whispers.

“What? No, no, she’s just my friend. You’re my best friend,” he corrects her, his head shaking furiously.

“No! She’s your best friend and I’m not. I didn’t even know that you don’t care for Halloween or Valentine’s. I feel like I don’t really know your true self. What else do you not like? What else do I not know about you?” Dallas rips herself from his hands, moving to her bedroom so Sienna wouldn’t have to hear them.

“We’re always learning new things about each other, so there’s a lot we still don’t know, but that’s what the rest of our lives are for. As for Halloween and Valentine’s, I never felt like I had to tell you. You love Halloween, so I wanted to dress up with you. You actually made me love it because it was so much fun. You love Valentine’s Day, so I wanted it to be as special as possible,” he explains, trying to hold her but she continues to pull away.

“That’s not the point though! You could’ve told me, because I want to know every little thing about you. I just feel like I don’t know you as well as I thought. It’s a bit off putting,” she says.

“Well, now you do know,” Nick tries to make light of the conversation, but it just makes her upset.

She wants an apology. She’s not sure if this whole thing warrants one, but it’d be nice to know that she isn’t overreacting and is understood.

“Can you please leave?” She shuts her eyes, not willing to let more tears fall.

“Seriously?”

“Yes, Nick. I need you to leave. You obviously don’t understand why I’m upset, so just leave,” she blurts out.

“Fine. I love you, June,” he kisses her forehead. Nick pauses at the door, waiting for her to tell him to stay, but those words never come.

TUESDAY

Dallas throws herself into all her schoolwork as a much needed distraction. When she’s not doing schoolwork, she’s working on dismantling and reassembling the wedding dress she bought from the thrift. She may be upset with Nick, but she is still getting married to him.

She uses one of the scrap pieces of lace from the dress to be part of Nick’s white button up. She dyed the fabric black, cut out her initials and stitched it into the cuff of the sleeve. For her dress, she only saved certain parts of it. She saved the bodice, part of the skirt, and all of the lace. She decided to add thin straps and rework the lace into a veil. She wants a very simple, light wedding dress.

In the process of distracting herself from her little spat with Nick, she goes to a jeweler to get Nick’s watch she bought engraved. “You are my forever,” sits delicately in cursive on the back of it.

There may be a little retail therapy included in her small trip, but that’s only between her and her credit card.

After having a quiet dinner and mini fashion show with her best friend, she decides that it’s not worth being mad at Nick. She has to get over it and move on, because at the end of the day she loves him.

She smiles when she nears his room, his voice filling her ears.

“Yeah, I don't know what was going on last night. I guess she’s just being insecure because you’re here,” Dallas hears Nick say to who she’s assuming is Inez.

She can physically feel her blood start to boil, her heart thumping and mind racing. Before thinking about it, she throws his door open. Nick turns to see her, his face going pale at the realization that she heard his words. The three stare at each other, waiting for someone to break. It’s Dallas.

“Fuck you!” She shouts, turning around.

“June, wait!” Nick runs after her.

“Why, so I can hear you tell your best friend how your girlfriend is so insecure? No thank you,” she spits.

“Well, what else am I supposed to think? You acted crazy for me not telling you about Halloween. You said how she’s my best friend! You called yourself my fiancée when you never even answered my proposal in the first place. Which by the way, makes me feel like you don’t even love me, so yeah sorry for thinking you were insecure,” he blurts out.

Dallas feels her tears spill, her body shaking with nerves. Is this really happening right now? It really hurt to be accused of being jealous just because she accepted his proposal. She’s also being accused of not loving him. She really was going to say yes before Inez even showed up. It’s not her fault they got sidetracked by the red head.

“How dare you say that I only want to marry you because of her! How dare you say that I don’t love you. And you know what, she is your best friend, because you’re here gossiping to her about me. I can’t believe you told her that instead of making sure I was reassured. I guess it’s only okay when I reassure you whenever you get jealous. I don’t even give you a reason to feel jealous,” she rants.

As she goes to walk out his door, he tries to stop her once more.

“June, please don’t leave. Shit, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have told her that. I’m sorry for not being nicer about it, or talking to you about it. You’re the only one who matters,” he apologized.

“Don’t call me that anymore. You’re not my boyfriend and you’re not my fiancé,” she whispers, too scared to look up at his face.

“What? C’mon, please. We can talk about this. We can fix this. I can fix this, just tell me what to do. I’m sorry. I messed up, I know that, but we can’t break up. We’re getting married,” she clenched her eyes shut, not daring to see his tears. She knows he’s about to cry by the way his voice continues to crack.

Her back is to him, so he comes up behind her to pull her body into his. If it weren’t for the arm wrapped around her waist, she would’ve crumbled into the floor. She can feel his tears hitting the material of her sweater. It makes her heart break that much more. She hates that she’s hurting him, but his words hurt her. The way he openly talks to Inez about her as if she’s anybody but his fiancée. If roles were reversed, he’d feel the same way she’s feeling.

“No because apparently I don’t love you,” she throws his words back at him, having to pull away from him as his shoulders start to shake.

“Please. Please, I know you love me. I was being an asshole and I made a mistake. I’m sorry,” he pleads.

“I need to leave,” she says, walking away.

She feels like a robot on the walk back to her place. The cold bites at her skin, but it’s nothing compared to the way her heart aches and her stomach twists. She finds herself at Luca’s place, immediately sobbing against him when he pulls her into a hug. That night she watches the moon, silent tears falling as she tries to banish every thought she has of Nick. She can’t go home, not when there are traces of the hockey player in every single corner. His cologne and shampoo are embedded in her pillows. His clothes fill up a section of her closet. There are notes and pictures of them littered on her dresser and night stand. Ignoring him seems impossible.

WEDNESDAY

Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Focus on classes, go to a Pilates class, and then start working on some designs for her future clothing line.

That’s Dallas’ plan. A solid plan that will stop her from drowning in her tears and guilt. It will also distract her from the multitude of phone calls from her brother and Kent. If only she knew that last night Nick called Blanks in shameful tears to tell him what happened.

Soft purring breaks the girl’s attention of planning out her day. She feels sir’s soft fur as he rubs against her leg.

“Hi, sir moldy. Hi cutie, mommy loves you,” she coos, caressing her black cat who isn’t so small anymore.

Her soft smile starts to disappear as she thinks about her cat not seeing his favorite person, Nick. The ache in her heart makes itself known again.

Snap out of it.

Dallas vows to stay out of her dorm the entire day until her eyes are practically shutting with sleep. Dressing in a cute outfit and putting on her favorite lipstick, she’s out of her door before she can second guess her plan. Who says you can’t be cute and heartbroken at the same time?

Her two morning classes go by without a hitch, the girl finishing any remaining assignments for the week within an hour after they finish. Her work ethic when she’s trying to distract herself is insane.

After a small lunch, Dallas finds the nearest restroom to change into her workout clothes, but when she walks out she sees Nick in the direction she needs to go. Everything around her seems to freeze except for him. His movements are sluggish and his eyes are tired. She turns the other way just as they make eye contact. For a second she thinks she sees him try to get her attention, but she doesn’t stay around to find out.

Dallas makes sure to take a heated Pilates class instead, needing to sweat out every issue that’s clogging her brain. It works but only for a couple hours. Eventually the sweat dries and now her problems feel tacky on her skin. She couldn’t go back to her apartment, though she desperately needed a shower. If she were to go back, she’d just get sidetracked by all the things her ex has taken over in her room.

She drives out to a lookout spot, putting her car in park so she can draw up new prospects for her clothing line. It’s a bittersweet moment. A lot of her inspiration would spark when she was with Nick. She has to remind herself that her clothing line has always been something she wants. It’s something that she has to be one hundred percent sure about. There’s no time for her to be hurt and in return be neglectful to something she’s worked so hard for.

She has to remember to be grateful for the things that are still in her life.

It’s almost midnight when she returns to her apartment, finding Sienna cuddled up with Sir on the couch.

“Nick tried to see you like a few hours ago. He told me to tell you that he wants to talk,” Sienna says, not even in her apartment for a minute and Dallas already wants to leave again.

“Of course he wants to talk. He can fuck off for all I care. I made up my mind and he needs to deal with it. He can go talk to Inez,” the girl says with an agitated edge to her tone.

“Look, D, you know I love you, but maybe you should talk to him. I know he fucked up majorly, but you should still talk to him,” she brings her into a hug.

“Why, so he can relate it all back to Inez like the best friend she is? So he can try to convince me that she’s not his best friend? I don’t need to hear it,” she spits, removing herself from Sienna’s arms. She heads to her room to shower off the day and sleep for as long as she possibly can.

THURSDAY

“Have you told her about it?” Inez asks Nick in the quiet of the library corner they’re in.

“No. Not yet anyway. I am soon because I know she’s going to be upset if I wait any longer- even if we’re broken up. Hopefully the breakup won’t last too long, though,” he responds, eyes cast down on the paper he’s been procrastinating about.

“She’s not going to be happy. Maybe you shouldn’t tell her. If she finds out we took each other’s virginities, she’s going to be so much more mad,” Inez says, reaching out her hand to rest over Nick’s. It’s meant to be comforting. Nick still pulls his hand away, though.

“Yeah, just let me lie to my fiancée again about something much worse than commercial holidays. No, I need to tell her,” he snaps.

“I’m just trying to protect you. She’s not your anything anymore anyways,” Inez sneered.

“Well don’t,” Nick feels that Inez is partially to blame for his whole breakup. It’s not fair and to some extent, he knows that, but he doesn’t want to blame himself.

“How’re you going to make up for the whole insecurity thing?”

“I don’t know. Grovel, probably or explain why I said it.”

“Maybe you’re just not meant to be. I mean this is kind of crazy to get upset about, especially when she claims she’s your fiancée,” Inez reasons.

“Don’t talk about things you don’t understand.” The conversation ends there.

The entire day, Nick is constantly looking for Dallas. Outside the rooms he knows her classes take place, at her favorite on campus cafe, and around her favorite spot she likes to chill and write at. No matter how busy it is, it still feels like a ghost town with her absence clearly present.

Dallas watches Nick as he looks around. It seems as if he’s lost, but she knows that he’s looking for her.

She saw him at the library with Inez. She watched the way Inez was talking with her expressive hand gestures and the way Nick's face grew red. Dallas doesn’t know that it was out of annoyance and not in happiness.

To Dallas, they looked so comfortable as if they’re the ones who've been dating for months. Inez’ smile was easy to compare to the breathtaking sight of the sun after a few gloomy days. Her cheeks were coated in a perfectly shade-matched blush. Her plump lips were the perfect shade of pink. She had the prettiest ribbon tied in her red hair, and she just knew her perfume was heavenly. Dallas so badly wished she was the one talking to Nick, covering his hand with her own.

She’s never been someone to be jealous as she’s so confident in herself. Now, she finds herself wishing to be Inez, but hating that she’s has got to the point of where she doesn’t want to be her own person anymore. She also hates the way she never gave Inez a chance, the way she never let herself like her because she’s so likable. Maybe her and Nick would still be together if she didn’t immediately feel jealous of Inez. Dallas feels like she’s going to go insane with the way she keeps bottling up her every emotion towards the girl and her ex boyfriend or fiancé. Nevertheless, she keeps walking with her head held high, well as high as she can get it without her eyes blurring with tears. That elegance and grace she’s learned through ballet comes in handy at this very moment as she remains in a balance of sanity.

She’s so close to entering her apartment building when Nick catches her.

“Dallas!” Her body freezes, literally not being able to move her feet, but she can feel her heart rate speed up.

“Dallas, please let me talk to you,” Nick whispers once he’s close enough to the girl.

“What do you want?” She turns to face him, avoiding his eyes.

“I need to tell you something and after that I will have no more lies or things I’m keeping from you,” he says, but Dallas stays quiet, afraid her words will come out as shouts.

“Inez and I lost our virginities to each other in high school,” he blurts out, waiting in tense silence for Dallas’ reaction.

Dallas feels her heart being crushed between his two fingers. She thinks there’s a big possibility of her passing out on the cold ground. At least that impact won’t hurt as much as this. She finally snaps her head up, looking at him with a glare.

“Look, I never meant to hide it from you. I just knew that if you found out after all that’s happened, you’d freak-“ he’s cut off by a sharp slap to his cheek.

Dallas feels her palm grow warm and start to sting. Her eyes are wide, shocked that she just laid a hand on him. She watches the way Nick’s eyes start to tear up. He knows that this is it. She opens and closes her mouth, not sure what to say or if she should apologize for hitting him. She decides to slowly back away, not able to get herself to turn away from him. She watches his distraught figure as she backs away, tears trailing down her cheeks.

Her body moves on autopilot, reality finally crashing over her when she enters her apartment. Sienna watches with fearful eyes, not having ever seen her best friend in a state like this. Dallas looks at Sienna, her tears still falling. Again, words fail to come out of her mouth as she opens and closes it. Then, it’s like all the shock dissipates and anger takes over. Her eyes are going dark and her features are hardening. She marches to her room, ripping open her closet door. She starts yanking hangers away from each other, throwing out each piece of Nick’s clothing.

All the withheld anger and sadness came bubbling out of the girl in the form of screams. She couldn’t stop it as she shoved every article of clothing that belonged to him in a box. Did 19 year olds act like this? Well, they do now. Poor Sir got so scared he ran to the living room as his mom cleaned every spot that’s been stained by her ex boyfriend. Her movements come to a halt when her eyes land on her wedding box. The tears crash on her with so much weight she falls to her knees, sobs wracking her body. Sienna’s quick to rush to Dallas, immediately hugging her.

“Hey, it’s okay. Let it all out,” she murmured.

“He lost his virginity to her,” she whispers.

Sienna’s eyes widen as she hugs Dallas tighter.

“Shit. I’m so sorry.”

“Am I crazy for being upset? I feel like it shouldn’t be a big deal, but I’m just- I’m so hurt,” Dallas says through sobs and hiccups.

“You have every right to feel the way you do. I’m here for you for whatever you need,” Sienna attempts to soothe her.

“I just- I need to go to my room and calm down.”

“Okay.”

Dallas lugs her heavy body to her room, showers and then neatly packs everything that belongs to Nick in a box. She debates on whether or not she should give him the wedding box, too. Part of her still believed that she should continue to hold onto it because maybe things will get better. Then, she thinks about the new piece of information he just blurted out and she wants to die all over again. She feels that familiar burn of tears in her eyes, so she does the one thing she loves to do when her brain is too loud, write.

Instead of writing in her journal, she decides to write on a single piece of paper. Instead of writing how she feels, she writes a letter that’s a semblance of a goodbye. It’s everything the next girl needs to know or love about Nick, written from someone who loved him probably too much.

THE LETTER

To whoever gets to love Nick next,

He will pretend to like something you love just to make you happy. Don’t get mad at him for hiding the fact that he doesn’t like it. Just love him for wanting you to be happy.

Nick loves hockey, so you have to love him as a hockey player. No matter all the insane expectations that come with it, or how he’ll drive himself up a wall just to be great at something he loves.

Nick is such a goofy person- even when it’s time to be serious. I think it’s because he loves to see the people around him smile, so don’t get annoyed by his untimely silliness.

If you ever get the opportunity to be given a gift from Nick, prepare yourself. He’s one of the best gift givers I have ever met. It just goes to show how easy it is for him to remember everything about someone he loves.

Cherish the vulnerable moments. Don’t take his feelings for granted; they’re a big piece of him and that type of information is hard for anyone to confess to someone they’re scared to be hurt by.

I love you Nick, and in another universe, in another lifetime, our love will have been enough.

Dallas folds up the letter and places it on top of everything in the box. She picks it up, every memory and emotion weighing heavily in her arms. She trudges back to the living room, ignoring Sienna’s worried gaze as she sets the box down by the front door.

“If Nick happens to come by, or any of the hockey boys, give it to them. Thank you,” she mutters, walking back to her room.

FRIDAY

“Dallas, c’mon! I know you’re home, your car is parked outside. Please, please let me in. We need to talk and I want to see our cat,” Nick shouts from outside her door.

When Dallas first heard the knocks, she was doused in sleep. Then she heard his voice, and she was suddenly wide awake.

“No, you’re not coming in to see MY cat. I don’t want to talk to you, so leave,” Dallas cracks the door open just a bit, so she knows that he hears her.

“Dallas, please. Please let me fix this,” he pleads.

“No!”

“Nick, you need to leave. Here’s a box with all your things,” Sienna intervened, handing the box over to him while Dallas sat on the couch.

Nick’s face falls, his eyes getting watery and he searches his mind for words to say. Sienna closes the door before he gets the chance to speak up.

“Are you okay?” She asks Dallas.

Dallas furiously shakes her head. “I can’t be here. I need to go.”

“Okay where are you going?” Sienna follows Dallas to her room, watching her as she packs an overnight bag.

“Buffalo.”

“Buffalo? That’s a bit of a drive. Will you be able to make it?”

“Yes. I don’t want to go to Ohio, and I can’t stay here. I’ll be back before Monday. Thank you for being here for me. It means a lot. I love you,” Dallas says, hugging Sienna.

“Of course. I love you, too.”

Dallas rushes to her car, but she’s still seen.

“D!” Dallas halts her steps when she hears Rutger’s voice.

“Hey, Rut.”

“Where are you going?” He asks, spotting her bag.

“Somewhere for some peace and quiet,” she says.

“How are you feeling? I know everything has been kinda shitty lately.”

“I’m holding it together as best as I can. I’m really hurt and I just need to get away from here for a day or two,” she explains, her exterior softening at Rutger’s sincerity.

“I’m sorry about everything. If you need anything, Luca and I are here for you.”

“Thank you. It means a lot, but you know I can’t. Umm… anyways I have to get going. Thanks for asking about how I was doing. I’ll see you around,” she moves to turn away, but he just pulls her into a short hug.

“No matter what happens, please don’t stop being our friend,” he whispers.

She nods her head, separating herself from the boy before the remainder of her heart shatters. She gets into her car and sets off for Buffalo.

The long drive was cathartic as she belted out lyrics to Taylor Swift- even through all her tears. She also got a ton of fresh air that she desperately needed.

It’s dark when she makes it to where she was going. The person she was trying to see wasn’t even home, so she spent a couple hours outside their front door. Dallas is sure she got a ton of concerned- even judging looks as she accidentally fell asleep with tears dried on her cheeks.

“Dallas?”

The girl startles out of her nap, immediately jumping up when she sees Owen. Owen Power, one of her favorite people. She collapses into his arms, her tears falling once again.

“What happened? Are you okay? Does anyone know you’re here?” He holds her tight.

“Blanks knows I’m here. I broke up with my boyfriend and I just needed to leave because I see and feel him everywhere,” she explains, the shattered pieces of her heart piercing through her skin.

“Let’s get you inside. You probably need some sleep especially after the long drive.”

After some much needed food and a shower, Dallas finally explains everything to Owen. He’s less than impressed, but he’s really good at comforting her.

“I don’t know. I just feel like this whole week I’ve been acting like some crazy girlfriend. Do you think I’m crazy for feeling and acting this way?”

“No, you’re valid. Except for the whole Halloween and Valentine’s thing, that’s not too big of a deal. He was just trying to make you happy. Now, him telling that girl you’re insecure and saying that you don’t love him was out of line. I’m sorry that you went through that, but I am glad I get to see you,” he tells her, bringing her in for another hug.

“Thank you for understanding. I’m happy to see you, too. Now, I need at least 12 hours of sleep, so goodnight. Will you be here tomorrow morning?”

“Yeah. I’ll make you breakfast.”

As Dallas falls asleep that night, Nick is beating himself up as he reads Dallas’ letter. The once neat paper is littered with tear drops.

SATURDAY

Nick is breaking many traffic laws just to get to Buffalo. It took Rutger telling him that she was leaving and a million apologies to Blanks to find out where she was. He was ready to lay his heart on the line, or in her palms.

Nick doesn’t know she’s staying with Owen, he just knows where she is. When he knocks on the door, he’s surprised to see a very tall man with long hair.

“Nick.” Owen knows him from Dallas’ instagram.

Nick recognizes the other hockey player, but that doesn’t stop him from pretending otherwise.

“Um, who are you?” Nick puffs out his chest, trying to disguise his true reaction. Owen is very large and intimidating as he crosses his arms over his chest.

“Owen Power, a good friend of Dallas.” Owen looks down on Nick, a testing expression painting his features.

“Is Dallas here? Can I talk to her?”

“I don’t know. Can you, or will you just go talk to Inez?” Nick looks taken aback at his remark.

So much for a great first impression.

“What are you doing here?” Dallas asks, moving Owen out of the way.

“I need to talk to you. Please, Dallas you have to let me explain everything,” he begs.

Dallas groans, her hands going through her hair as she moves aside for him to enter.

“What could you possibly say to me?”

“I know you’re upset that I just told you about how I lost my virginity to Inez, but it didn’t mean anything and she doesn’t mean anything to me,” he swears.

“You made me seem like I was crazy for feeling insecure! You had sex with her and I know that was long ago, but you’re with me, but still had her come visit you,” she responds.

“I didn’t know she was coming! Do you think if I knew, I would let it happen, or at least not tell you about our past?” He questions.

“You still let her stay! That’s the difference. If she didn’t mean a thing to you, why did you let her stay? If I had lost my virginity to Owen and had you meet him because he’s my close friend, you would go ballistic. If roles were reversed, you’d be just as jealous and just as upset!” She shouts.

“Speaking of Owen, why would you tell him our business? Sure seems like he’s your best friend when you said I was yours” Nick scoffs, jealousy creeping up on him.

“No! No, you can’t get jealous not right now. See! This is what I mean! You can get jealous all you want, but the moment I do, it’s wrong. Screw your double standards!”

“I was the one who was insecure. I have been asking you to marry me for weeks and you still wouldn’t give me an answer. Next thing I know, you’re introducing yourself as my fiancée. I felt like the prospect of our marriage wasn’t important to you, like you were just playing with my feelings to see how far you could go before I blew up. I fucked up so badly because I thought you wouldn’t want to marry me at all. If you had eventually said no, our relationship would be ruined. I’m sorry, Dallas. I’m sorry for making it seem like she’s my best friend. I’m sorry for keeping things from you, and saying that you don’t love me. I’m sorry for everything and I just needed to tell you that,” he says, watching as she cries.

“Here’s your ring, I forgot to put it in the box,” she says, barely loud enough for him to hear.

He immediately shakes his head, knowing that if he takes back the ring everything will really be over.

“I can’t take that back. It’s yours. It belongs to you,” he tries to say it with conviction, but his voice cracks and his tears start to fall.

“I can’t have it either,” she pulls the ring off, forcing it into his hands.

His shoulders are shaking and his lip wobbles. Nick wants to hold her in his arms, but he knows she’ll push him away.

Dallas wants to reach out to him as he walks away, but she fears it’s too late to take back everything she’s said and done.

“Nick?” She calls his name and watches the way he turns around within that second.

“Yeah?” His voice is unsure. He watches the looks she gives him. Her eyes are filled with want. She wants that connection.

He quickly walks back to her, pulling her into his arms.

“Why can’t you fight for me?” She questions, hurt laced in her voice. Her hands connect around his neck and he can feel her chest heave.

“I have been fighting. Not hard enough, but because you won’t let me fight for you,” he answers, hands rubbing her back.

“Fight for me, please,” she begs, her way of saying she’ll listen to what he has to say.

“I swear I didn’t mean to hurt you. I hadn’t talked to Inez since before I graduated high school, so her coming to visit was just as much a surprise to me as it was to you. I’m sorry for being an asshole and telling Inez that you were insecure. That wasn’t my place and that wasn’t her business. I should’ve made sure that you were secure in our relationship, because that’s my job as your boyfriend.”

“Fiancé,” Dallas corrects him.

“Yes, your fiancé. I know you love me with all your heart, sorry for ever doubting that. Inez is not my best friend and she’s not even really a friend. Not anymore. I told her she couldn’t be in my life, because if she stayed, I knew you wouldn’t and I once told you that I can’t live without you. That stands true. I want you even if that means giving up everything else. I’m sorry, June. I’m so sorry for being so careless with us,” he apologizes, his tears falling into her hair.

“I accept your apology. I’m sorry for being so emotional,” she says against the skin of his cheek as she softly kisses his face.

“You have every right to feel angry, sad, or hurt. I was truly an asshole,” he states.

“I’m so sorry for slapping you, Nick. I hate myself for putting my hands on you like that. I swear I will never do that again,” she sobs into his chest, that guilt finally breaking her down.

“I deserved it.”

“No, you didn’t. I saw how much that hurt you, emotionally,” she whispers.

“I love you, pretty girl.”

“I love you, always.”

Dallas pulls away, taking in the boy she loves so much. His hair is messy and his face is red from his tears.

“June bug, I want you in my life forever. I don’t care how young we are, or what people think, because I know that our love is enough in this lifetime and the next one. We will always find our way to each other. Will you please marry me?” He pulls out the ring from his pocket and kneels on one knee.

“Yes! Yes in this lifetime and yes in the next. I love you, Nick,” she answers, jumping into his arms and kissing his lips for the first time in what felt like forever.

a/n: I absolutely loved writing this and I hope y’all enjoy it! The title is a little combination of “All American Bitch” and “Lacy” by Olivia Rodrigo as I feel those two songs resemble what Dallas was going through. It also references the lace of the dress Dallas thrifted, beautiful but also delicate.

#nick moldenhauer #nick moldenhauer x oc #nick moldenhauer x reader #nick x dallas #umich imagine #umich hockey #so it goes au

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mamaestapa · 5 months

Text

The Name Game

•pairing: Joe Burrow x reader

•series summary: Y/n Hubbard, the younger sister of Cincinnati Bengals Defensive End Sam Hubbard, finds herself in a difficult situation after a steamy hookup with her brothers best friend, who just so happens to be the quarterback for the Bengals. In just nine months their lives will be changed forever. How will Y/n and Joe manage to to go through parenthood together? more so, how will Sam take the news he is going to be the uncle of his best friends baby?

•chapter summary: You and Joe decide on a name for your baby boy

•word count: 3.9k

•warnings: pregnancy, hormones, JEALOUS JOE, slight body image issues, mentions of past "relationships", baby burrow has the hiccups, some angst, but this chapter is really just pure fluff<3

series masterlist

———————————————————————

June 12, 2023

6 months pregnant

Today, you were supposed to go out to lunch with Emma, but she had to cancel for a last minute 4D ultrasound. So instead of indulging in your most recent craving (cheese fries), you were sat on the couch cuddled up under your favorite fluffy white throw blanket, reading through a "What To Expect When You're Expecting" pregnancy book. While the book had some pretty interesting things to say about pregnancy and postpartum, you were really only reading it to pass time.

You were currently waiting for Joe to get home from his golf tournament with some friends from college. After Emma canceled lunch, you had asked Joe if you could go and spectate the tournament. It would give you something to do and get you out of the house for some fresh air. Joe immediacy turned down your request, saying he didn't want you to be bored out of your mind in the heat all day. As much as you did want to get out and see some of your mutual friends from college, you also wanted to stay inside where it was cool. The June humidity and being six months pregnant was not the greatest mix.

As you were reading through the section of the book about the third trimester, you heard the door to the garage open. Joe was finally home. You closed your book and set it on the couch, throwing the blanket off your body as you stood up from the couch. Just as you got up, Joe walked into the living room. A wide smile graced his features when he saw you standing by the couch. "Hey, you." He greeted as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his chest. You smiled softly and hummed contently as you let the side of your face rest against Joe's chest. Joe's loving embrace and strong arms never failed to bring a smile to your face.

"How was golf?" you asked. Joe nodded as you pulled away from the hug. He brought a hand up to his face to wipe the sweat from his forehead. "It was good. Didn't play my best, but I'm not much of a golf guy. I mainly went to catch up with the guys."

"I'm glad you had a good time," you said with a small smile, "who won?"

"Nick," Joe let out a small sigh before he continued speaking, "he says hi by the way, and he wants to see you before he goes back to San Francisco."

You pushed your bottom lip out slightly as you placed your hands over your heart, "Awe, I miss him."

Joe chuckled, "He misses you too."

Your smile fell as you narrowed your eyes slightly, crossing your arms over your chest as you looked at Joe, "Does he know I'm pregnant? Because I never told him."

"Yes," Joe chuckled, "he knows you're pregnant. He was one of the first people I told." You nodded, a small smile gracing your features once again. You were about to say something when Joe cut you off, with an enthusiastic "Oh!" You cocked your head to the side, eyeing Joe with wonder.

"That reminds me," he began. "I left a gift Nick has for you, well for us, in the car. I'm going to shower real quick then I'll go get it."

A gift from Nick? This could either be something really good or really bad. You never know with Nick.

"Okay..." you trailed off, "What kind of gift?"

"You'll see," Joe leaned down and pressed a chaste kiss to your temple, "I'm going to shower." You hummed at the feeling of his lips on your forehead. "Okay babe," you said, "have fun in the shower, but not too much fun." you teased, wiggling your finger at him.

"I'll try not to."

You scrunched your nose as Joe ruffled your hair a bit before he left the living room and jogged up the stairs to his bedroom--which was now yours, too.

You sat back down on the couch, getting comfy under your blanket once again. Once you were comfortable you reached over and grabbed the book off the cushion beside you, starting to read where you left off before Joe got home. You flipped through the pages of the book, reading a chapter on what to expect throughout month six of your pregnancy. You had just a little over three more months left. Time really does fly because it feels like just last month you found out you were pregnant, when really it's actually been five.

Every day that passes is just one more day closer to meeting your baby boy.

While you couldn't wait to meet the sweet boy that's been growing like a weed in your belly for the past six months, part of you was also extremely anxious for what to expect once he's born. Once he's here with you and Joe, there would be no going back. No do overs. It's starting to set in that you and Joe will be raising a human for the rest of your lives. What a huge learning experience it's going to be for the both of you. Thankfully, you still have a few months to prepare yourselves for this big change as much as you can.

As you were focused on the section about cravings, you were surprised by the feeling of warm hands on your bare shoulders. You hunched up your shoulders at the sudden contact, but they soon relaxed as Joe began kneading his thumbs into the knots in your shoulders and upper back.

"Mmm," you moaned blissfully at the feeling of his thumbs digging into your tight muscles, "don't stop..."

"You always say that, Mama's." Joe replied slyly to your content moans. You gasped at his comment, deciding to play along with teasing him "Mr. Burrow! There are little ears here."

Joe chuckled as he removed his hands from your shoulders. He hopped over the side of the couch and plopped down next to you. "Well Miss Hubbard, he can't hear me yet can he?" You looked over at Joe, giving him a look of disbelief. "Yes, he can actually. Remember when we stopped our erm...activities because he can hear us now?"

Joe chuckled as he nodded, "Oh yeah, I remember that."

"See, I told you-."

"Oh!" Joe cut you off, "I almost forgot, I'll be right back." Joe said, getting up from the couch and leaving the living room without another peep.

"Okay?" you giggled, thinking out loud in confusion.

As fast as Joe went outside, he came back in. He walked into the living room holding a large, almost textbook like book in his hands. Joe grinned excitedly as he sat down next to you once again, handing you the book as he did so.

You examined the front cover, a smile on your face as your fingers traced over the picture of stork carrying a baby boy and baby girl.

"Nick got this for us. It's a book full of baby names, old wives tales for figuring out the gender, cravings you could have, it's actually pretty cool." Joe explained.

Your smile widened as you began flipping through the book. "This is pretty neat," you said, looking up Joe with a thoughtful gaze, "how thoughtful of him."

"I know right? It is pretty sweet."

As you flipped through the book, it dawned on you that you and Joe still haven't done one of the most important things expectant parents could do: pick out a name for your baby.

You've both thrown out some names here and there, but nothing has stuck out to either of you yet. Maybe this book will help? You thought before you brought it up to Joe.

"You know, peanut does need a name..." you said, turning your head to look at Joe. He smiled at the use of the nickname you'd both given the baby boy in your belly. Joe reached out and grabbed the book from you, flipping through the pages until he found a page titled: "500+ baby boy names'".

The two of you began to read through the list of names.

Henry...

Grayson...

Isaac ...

Sean...

Joshua...

There were so many name to consider.

"Hmm," Joe hummed, "Daniel is cute...call him little Danny?" You shook your head, "No, that name makes me think of daddy Amendola." As soon as you realized you said daddy instead of Danny, you covered your mouth. A deep blush rose to your cheeks as you corrected your slip up. "I mean Danny, D-Danny Amendola. I'm sorry that just slipped out."

Joe chuckled, "I didn't know you had the hots for Dola...should I tell him?"

"NO!" You screeched a little too quickly. You cleared your throat and shook your head "I do not have the hots for Danny Amendola."

"You totally do."

''Do not," you giggled at Joe's teasing tone, "It just slipped out!"

"Mhm, sure."

You just shook your head at Joe as you continued to scan over the list of boy names.

"How about August?

Joe scrunched his nose up and shook his head, "Eh, it's cute. I just don't think it sounds right with either of our last names. I want something that sounds right."

You thought about it.. August Burrow... August Hubbard. Yeah no.

"Yeah," you agreed, "you're right."

"I'm always right with this type of stuff, Y/n."

You rolled your eyes at Joe's remark as you both continued to look through the list of names. You and Joe just couldn't seem to agree on any of the names either of you liked.

"Jackson? That's cute." Joe smiled.

"Ohh, like Jack Hughes." you said, biting your lip slightly. Joe rolled his eyes, "Oh god," he huffed out a breath and mumbled "here we go again..."

"What?" You asked, giggling softly at as his reaction. Your question made Joe frown, "You know what! Let me guess, you have the hots for him too?" You gave him your signature "seriously?" look as you reached out and put your hand on his shoulder, "I do not."

Joe just gave you a resting bitch face in response. You sighed softly, deciding to come clean, "Maybe a little, but it's harmless," you turned your body towards Joe, leaning in and kissing his cheek, "I have the hots for you more." You whispered in Joe's ear, making him forget all about the little twinge of jealousy he was feeling.

Joe smirked at your words, "Oh sweetheart," he wet his plump lips as he looked at yours, "I know you do."

You felt your face heat up from a combination of his actions and his words. Every time Joe called you sweetheart it made you feel things you never thought you'd feel. Joe leaned in and placed a chaste, yet loving kiss to your lips. You smiled at him as he pulled away from your lips.

"So, do we have any names we both like?" You asked, looking down at the book. Joe scanned over the list, "Well, all the ones I like, you think other athletes with the same name are hot, so no, we do not have any."

"Well, sorry! I can't help it." You exclaimed, deciding to mess with him a little bit, "you think you're the only one I find attractive?"

"Do you really want me to answer that?"

You chuckled, "C'mon Joey, it's not like you're good friends with them. I've never even talked to them!" You cocked your head to the side as you remembered the conversation you had with Jack Hughes a while back. "Well, actually, I take that back."

Joe shot you a look of bewilderment, "What? Do you mean like talk talk, or just as friends?"

"Well..." you trailed off, "I- wait, are you jealous?"

"Pshh, no?" he said, voice going up an octave. You smiled, "You so are. Joe, don't be jealous seriously. I never talk talked to any of them. I used to talk to Jack here and there, but that's it."

Joe stayed silent, making you frown slightly.

"Seriously Joe, it's nothing." you reached out and put a hand on his thighs, squeezing it gently, "I love you, and only you. You are way hotter than Danny and Jack. Plus, they don't have a nickname like you do..."

That made Joe crack a smile. He looked over at you, chuckling as he reached out to pull you into a sweet kiss. As Joe pulled back, he shrugged, a sly smirk on his face. "That's true. They don't have the honor of being called 'big daddy' like me."

"Exactly."

The two of you laughed as Joe put an arm around you as the two of you looked back through the book of names. About twenty minutes later, you had it narrowed down to your top six favorite names in no particular order.

Jaxson...

Ben...

Theo...

Jace...

Levi...

Brooks…

"I think these names are perfect." You said, smiling down at the list of possible named for your son as you rubbed your bump. Joe put his hand on your belly, "I agree," he said, as he too started to rub your bump, "except there's one that really stands out to me."

"You know what," You looked over at Joe, "me too." you smiled, hoping he'd agree with you.

"Which one?"

You told him the name and a wide grin broke out over his face.

"That's the one i was thinking too." He said softly. "Well, they do say great minds think alike." You chuckled as your grin matched Joe's.

He leaned in and captured your lips in a loving kiss. You brought your hand up to the nape of his neck, pulling him in even closer. After the two of you pulled away, Joe put his forehead on yours, that sweet smile still taking over his lips, "Did we just name our baby?" He asked, his tone hopeful. You nodded, confirming his question, "I think we did."

Joe smiled at you before situating his position on the couch. He moved his head down to your bump, keeping his hand placed on it. He brought his lips close to your skin and began to talk to the little guy.

"Hey little man, I think your mama and I just figured out what we're going to name you. Can you give daddy a kick if you like it? It’s only a first name for now, but, we can't have our favorite son not like his name."

You felt your heart swell with love as you listened to Joe talk to his baby boy. You felt the familiar flutter of your baby moving in your tummy. Joe laughed, "Hey! Thanks little dude." He looked up at you smirking, "I think peanut likes his name."

You smiled, running your hands through his blonde locks, "I think he does too.” Joe laid his head on against your belly, humming as you ran your fingers through his hair.

“Bump is getting bigger mama.” Joe mumbled as he nuzzled his cheek against your belly. You huffed out a little sigh, a slight frown on your face.

“I know. I look swollen twenty four seven and none of my clothes fit. I feel so fat, Joe.”

It felt like you were getting bigger every day. While it was comforting knowing your baby was healthy and growing, the constant swelling and need to buy new clothes made you a little self conscious about your body.

Joe lifted his head from your belly, looking at you with furrowed brows and a frown. “Y/n, sweetie,” he began softly, “you’re not fat. You’re growing our baby, and he needs room to grow so of course you’re going to swell a little bit.”

You stayed silent. Your silence made Joe rub your belly as he stared at you intensely, a genuine smile on his face. “And I think,” he leaned down to kiss your bump, “You look so fucking sexy growing our baby.”

You blushed at Joe’s words, “Joey, stop it.” He smirked at you before placing gentle kisses all over your belly.

“I love this bump…” he placed one more kiss below your belly button before he started trailing up your torso, “And don’t even get me started on these boobs….”

Your blush deepened, growing more crimson with each praise that fell from Joe’s lips. He always knew how to make you feel better when you felt self conscious about your changing body. He nuzzled his face in the valley of your swollen breasts, making your breath hitch in the back of your throat.

“God I can’t get enough of you sweets. I’d take you right here on this couch and prove to you just know sexy I think you are.”

“Joe, the baby,” You said, giggling softly as you saw his eyes widen, "Oh! Oops, heh." he said, covering the sides of your bump with his veiny hands.

"Ear muffs, buddy." Joe whispered against your bump, making the baby kick in return. Joe chuckled at the feeling before he leaned in and captured your lips in a sweet and sensual kiss.

“But in all seriousness…you look beautiful, Y/n.”

You smiled sweetly at him. “Thank you Joey, you always know how to make me feel better. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Joe laid his head back down on your belly, stroking your bump as you brought your hands back to his golden locks. The mix of your hands massaging his scalp and the comfort of your body had Joe falling fast asleep against your belly. Joe had his best sleep when he cuddled you and your unborn baby. Your heart swelled at the sight below you. You placed a hand on your upper abdomen where the baby's feet supposedly were. Smiling, you began to talk to him.

One thing you and Joe always made sure to do at least twice a day was talk to the baby. You wanted him to be able to recognize both of your voices as soon as he was out of the womb. Of course, he would instantly know yours as he's been hearing it constantly, but if Joe hadn't been talking to him as often as he does, the little guy probably wouldn't recognize his daddy's voice, and you know that would just break Joe’s heart if his son didn’t recognize his voice.

"Hi baby,” you quietly cooed down at your tummy, “I can't talk too loud...don't want to wake your daddy." you whispered, smiling when you saw a small smile tug at Joe’s lips. He must be dreaming. You thought.

"Anyways," you continued, "you have a name now buddy! How great is that?"

You felt a kick from him in response. You chuckled slightly at the feeling, "I’m going to take that as a ‘it’s great mom!'” You felt another flutter, making your smile widen. You smiled contently as you continued, “but I hope you're enjoying it in there...you'll be out in the world before you know it baby boy. Just a few more months and mommy and daddy can finally hold you."

You smiled at the thought of holding your newborn son for the first time. However, the second you see Joe hold him though, it will be over. Your heart will absolutely burst from all the overwhelming love and cuteness.

"Well, I’ll stop bothering you my little love...just know that mommy and daddy love you so so much, and we can't wait to meet you." You brought your hand up to your mouth, pressing a kiss to your fingertips before bringing it back down and pressing it on your bump. You then did the same to Joe’s cheek. You placed your hand over his back, rubbing it up and down softly as he slept. You sat quietly, scrolling through your Instagram feed and letting Joe sleep. Suddenly, you felt the baby move harshly, making you wince. You felt the sudden urge to pee, meaning you definitely just got an elbow to the bladder.

You felt Joe’s chest rumble with laughter, “Woah, I felt that one." You chuckled, "Yeah me too. I just got an elbow right in my bladder. So if you'll excuse me, i’m going to go to bathroom before I pee all over this couch.”

Joe smiled as he chuckled softly. He picked his head up from your belly, sitting up on the couch and yawning. You stood up from your spot, supporting your growing bump and slightly aching back. You made your way into the bathroom and did your business just in time. Every time baby presses against your bladder, you know you have only minutes to get to a bathroom.

You finished up in the bathroom, heading back into the living room and sighing in relief as you sat back down on the couch. Joe put his phone down beside him, chuckling at the sound of your sigh. He brought his hand back to your belly, pushing against the swollen skin to try to get the baby to move.

His attempts to get your son to move were unsuccessful, until Joe took his hand away. You started to feel constant flutters, that soon turned into little pulsing movements you could see from the outside.

“Look at that,” Joe said, pointing at your bump, “I’ve never seen him move like that before.” You furrowed your brows, nodding in agreement with your boyfriend.

“I haven’t either?”

You were confused at first at the feeling of the pulsating flutters every few seconds…until you realized what exactly was happening.

Your baby had the hiccups.

“Awe,” you gasped softly, “I think he has the hiccups.”

Joe glanced at you, raising his eyebrows, “Really?” You nodded, giggling lightly, “Yeah, look.”

You and Joe watched with smiles on your faces as your bump twitched every few seconds from each hiccup that came from your baby.

“That is the cutest thing I’ve seen,” Joe gushed as he kept his eyes on your bump, “little man’s got the hiccups.” He finished, pushing his lip out slightly.

You and Joe kept your eyes on your belly as your son’s hiccups continued for about another minute. It was a crazy feeling, but it was even crazier seeing it from the outside. Once the movements stopped completely, you brought you hand to your bump and patted the side gently.

“Feel better little guy?” You asked with a chuckle. Joe brought his hand to the other side of your belly, his chuckle matching yours. “I’m sure he does.”

You smiled softly and leaned back in the couch, resting your head on Joe’s shoulder.

“I can’t believe we saw his first hiccups today.” You said, awe laced in your voice. Every pregnancy milestone you experience never failed to wow you. Joe smiled as he wrapped his arm around you, pulling you closer into his side.

“And I can’t believe we finally picked a name for him.” Joe mused as he squeezed your body gently. You hummed as you spoke to you baby.

“We love you…” You said the baby’s name, making both you and Joe smile.

“Yes we do,” Joe replied with just as much love, “We can’t wait to meet you little man.”

hey loves!!

so baby burrow/hubbard finally has a name🥹 which one do you think it is?? i won’t be revealing it until the birth chapter ;))

this chapter was so fun to write. i love the fluffy stuff<3 but…we’ll see some angst again soon because you know how i am👀

(also this was not edited throughly, i apologize for errors)

i’m posting this chapter as a little thanksgiving gift to all of you, to show how thankful i am for every single one you. thank you so much for everything loves! your love and support means the world🤍🤍

happy thanksgiving babes!🤍

tags: @dandelionwrites8 @joeburreauxsworld @theflawedwriter @mrsshiesty @ann288 @ijustcrypretty @theoneandonlyfanz @wickedfun9 @venus-b @hummusxx @stainednailpolishremover @a-moment-captured @alternativemadchen @erinmartin1987 @sirlewisworld @kkrenae @unhingedfangirl @sublimemusic-rebel @meameagirl @ilovejoeburroww @hallecarey1 @j-worlds-blog @blinkloverx3 @jordyn14 @kristencochefski1125 @ryiamarie @unsaidjaelinrose @sinners-98-world @ozwriterchick @evernova @fangirl-madz @fantasywritersstuff @jackharloww @bernelflo @austinswhitewolf @emherb10

#joe burrow #joe burrow x reader #joe burrow x y/n #joe burrow x you #joe burrow series #joe burrow fic #daddy issues #dad joe

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sturn1olo-ffics · 7 months

Text

- INTO IT -

pt. 1 | pt. 2

- Chris Sturniolo x Fem Reader (she/her pronouns used)

- Warnings: pining???, use of y/n, maybe swearing, pretty sure that’s it for right now in part 1

- About: Reader goes on a trip to Florida with Chris, Madi, Matt, Laura, and Nick while trying to hide her feelings for Chris, but soon fails when they get alone.

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(Y/N’s POV):

Chris and I had been friends for about a year or so before I realized I had feelings for him. The realization came when I was hanging out with Nick, telling him all about my day with Chris. March. Matt and Nick had caught the flu, so I got Chris out of the house for the day so he wouldn’t be around them too much. “No bro I know. Then Chris’ shirt got caught on the fire alarm and thank GOD I noticed before he walked too far and it pulled it-“ I began with Nick staring at me. “Y/n.” He interrupted. “Huh?” I questioned, confused as to why Nick was all of a sudden serious. “‘Chris this… Chris that… Chris this… y/n you’re so obviously in love.” He laughed, mocking me. “I am not, we just had a lot of fun and I wanted to share, but no never mind.” I sassed back, turning to grab the door handle in his room. “Ok… well when you realize it, don’t come crying to me. Actually—do come crying to me, I wanna hear about your boy problems.” He said, looking down at his phone. That was the night I realized. As I drove home, I couldn’t help but feel guilty for having feelings for Chris. He was one of my best friends and I knew that if I messed our friendship up, it would mess up my friendships with Matt and Nick as well. I couldn’t risk it. So I never told him That is, until now. June. The weather was warm and the sun set late in the evening. Laura booked an AirBNB in Florida for a week. It was about halfway through our trip when Matt started to notice tension between Chris and I. “Y/n what the hell is up with you and Chris?” Matt questioned. “What?” I responded, obviously confused. “I see y’all staring at each other all the time and y’all haven’t been apart for more than like… an hour the whole trip.” He started. “I don’t know, I mean I don’t think anything’s going on?” I said, walking towards me and Madi’s room to get dressed for dinner. “Alright, just asking.” He responded, walking off to the boys’ room. I did my hair and makeup and decided on an outfit to wear for our dinner reservations Laura made. After everyone was dressed, we walked down to the restaurant, which was just outside of our condo, and sat down at the table. “Hey, we should go to the arcade after this. It’s just down the block.” Nick suggested eagerly. “Yeah that’s good with me, what about you y/n?” Chris looked to me. Matt gave me a knowing look as I answered. “Yeah! I need to go grab my portable charger from the room though, my phones at 2%. Anyone wanna come with?” I asked. Before anyone could answer, Chris jumped on the opportunity. “I gotchu.” Chris nudged my shoulder and Matt looked disgusted at the action, almost like he wanted to laugh. We finished eating and the rest of the group headed down toward the arcade while Chris and I headed toward the room.

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A/N: Hey y’all! I’m going to be writing a lot the next few days so lots of fics will be dropping. This was the one y’all wanted first according to the poll, so hopefully it lives up to expectations 😭 Love u baes Part 2 out immediately after this is uploaded - I had to break it into two because my laptop is broken so bad 😕

#sturniolo triplets x reader #chris sturniolo x you #sturniolo triplets #fluff #christopher sturniolo #chris sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo fluff #chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #matt sturniolo imagine #the sturniolos #matt sturniolo fluff #nick sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo x you

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wol-fica · 1 year

Text

-𝔹𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕤 ℙ𝕋3-

pairings - nessy poopoo x fem!dopey stupido

summary - waking up with the girl of you dreams feels like such a wonderful thing

warnings - FLOOF

an - i’m really glad people are enjoying this series so much, i love writing it too

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Waking up used to be so terrible for you.

You hated having to remove yourself from your bed and leave the warmth it provided just to be productive in a day. Your presence was apparently rEqUiReD in school and Weems deemed it as, “Being awake for a school function is professional!”

But now after you graduated, moved into your own home, and don’t have to get up at the crack of dawn, waking up doesn’t seem so bad.

Oh and you’re married too, what a plus!

Wednesday, your gothic wife, was always a morning person. Never without fail would she arise from her slumbers as precisely 7:00 AM, no more no less. You enjoyed being a night owl, weirdly Wednesday also enjoyed that you were a night owl; she would get to fall asleep on you while you either read to her or just hummed a tune she enjoyed.

Wednesday also enjoyed waking up, she loved the terrible feeling of having to leave her bed, it was such a good practice for every day. But Wednesday also loved being able to just watch you.

When you were asleep, you were relaxed. No stress was etched into your features, no lopsided grin coating your face, no witty remarks passing your lips; just you being absolutely limp.

As of this morning, Wednesday had just woken up for the day. It was a lazy Saturday in June, so birds were chirping their souls away on the windowsill while sunlight beamed in from above. One of the rays had fallen on your face, casting you in a gorgeous golden glow.

Wednesday was in awe, all she could do was stare. The sun highlighted the small nicks on your skin that were previously hidden in the shade, and Wednesday wanted to kiss all of your freckles that you had dusted across your nose.

In her black, soulless eyes, you were perfect. You were a fallen angel sent from the deepest pit of hell and into her lap. You were the thing she craved on a boring Tuesday afternoon after she finished her weekly taxidermy crafts, you were the warm, comforting embrace she desired to settle down her cold, unfortunately beating heart.

You were it for her, the drug she accidentally got herself addicted to. The way you held yourself was so alluring to her, you didn’t have a care if anyone said anything bad about you, you would just smile. Your posture and poise was strong, an attractive trait to Wednesday, and you always had the will to do almost anything.

But here you were, laying down on your shared king-sized bed as Wednesday studied you from above. She was straddled on your waist after sitting up from laying on your body. Her weight and her aroma was always enough for you to fall asleep, and if she was away you would spray a weighted blanket with her perfume just to get some sort of closure that it was her.

Wednesday enjoyed having that effect on you, the control. She liked knowing that you needed her to even do many tasks, i.e. falling asleep, cooking, going for runs without getting mugged, the simple things.

You shifted in your sleep, a small whine of discomfort passing your lips. You were waking up, Wednesday knew that from the lack of her body on yours, so she returned to her previous position of her body hooked over yours. Her legs were around your hips, locking you in place, while her arms went under your back to hold you.

“Sleep, mi amor…” She whispered into your ear, kissing your cheek as she nestled herself even closer to you.

You sighed in response, your brain shifting back into a deep sleep state at the return of your wife’s presence.

Wife. A label Wednesday never thought she would think of someone else. Her life felt to preoccupied for marriage, the devotion of oneself to another person for eternity seemed pointless and a waste of her time.

That being said, Wednesday loved you very very much. After meeting you in botany class her second year at nevermore, she became lovesick for you. She wanted you, she needed you, and now that she was finally graduated and living her long-awaited adult life, she had you.

“Nes…” You murmured int your sleep, your head turning into Wednesday’s collar bone.

“I’m here…” Wednesday cooed, her hands rubbing the back of your neck.

You had turned, your body pushing Wednesday onto her back as you now laid atop her. Your lips were incredibly close to her skin, your warm breath fanning out across her naked shoulder.

Pure bliss is what Wednesday would describe your mornings. It was such a blessing to be able to love and hold you in this peaceful state, when her whole focus was on you.

Mornings were terrible, but they always were the best start of your days.

———————

woke up at 6 and wrote this, then fell back asleep

taglist:

@crystal-lily-101101 @i984 @aahdiieb @rainbow-love4ever @cursedchar @tundra1029 @fall-08 @efectoangel @vorsdany @imhungry-andtired @theafterofnevermore @k1mba @dreaming-of-u @thenextdawn @alexkolax @captainbeat @littlegaybutterflysblog @sayaisrotten

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grotesquehorse · 9 months

Text

Red, White and Royal Blue (2023) is a tragedy, but not for the reasons that people who hate the book on principle are talking about. It's not just a bad adaptation, it's a bad movie. There is nothing redeeming about it except the casting of Sarah Shahi as Zahra.

First of all, I want to say, that the book DOES have depth. Just because a book is a romcom doesn't mean it doesn't have depth. And I'm sick and tired of seeing the criticism from people who didn’t read the book say "people are complaining that the movie doesn't have depth but the book didn't have depth either, so what were you expecting". It fucking has depth. And I have a right to be upset that the movie absolutely fucking butchered it.

The Casting

The casting, although it has been criticized, has not been criticized for the correct aspects. Nick and Taylor have enough chemistry to be passable for a romcom - it's not great, but at least it wasn't Sandra Bullock and Hugh Grant in Two Weeks Notice.

The casting for Alex was not good. I have nothing against Taylor, but his thousand-yard stare had nothing behind the eye(lashes) and actively hindered any and all of Alex’s interactions. Nick was better; Henry is a more subtle character (as he has to be), and this was portrayed much more convincingly.

Nora was fucking annoying and her actress was bad. Uma Thurman does not belong in this movie. Stephen Fry, although the funniest possible actor to put in that role, shouldn't have been in this movie either.

Alex, as a character, was butchered. He should have a Type-A, bouncing off the walls, undiagnosed ADHD, horny but anxious confidence about him. Movie Alex was entirely wrong. I would call him suave, but I don't find him charming. The audience is supposed to think he's suave, maybe, but this is the wrong character trait to give him. He is supposed to be confident and charming, but not suave. There is nothing going on in his head, and this is especially detrimental when Book Alex’s main personality trait is that he overthinks everything at every possible angle.

The Alex and Henry Relationship

The first kiss between Alex and Henry and the scene preceding it are all wrong. Movie Alex is kissing multiple different women and Henry is much more isolated than in the book. Alex’s first line in the confrontation is supposed to be "what are you doing out here?" not "did I do something wrong?" when Henry leaves the party; it's supposed to be more nuanced. Henry should be feeling "of course he's straight, he can't want me, I can't want him" not "betrayed because Alex kissed someone who is not me". Alex is not supposed to know that Henry is upset. Alex is not supposed to think that he is the cause of Henry being upset. The movie cuts any of the depth between them. Another core personality trait of Alex, is that he is selfish. He forgets to text June back about dinner, he gets wrapped up in his own head, he doesn’t understand his friendship/relationship with Liam. He doesn’t understand that he may be the cause of Henry’s emotions.

The camping scenes touched on Alex being selfish, but again, in all the wrong ways. He starts talking about how they could be out as a real couple after the reelection, but he fails to consider that Henry is a prince of England. Truly baffling writing choice, considering Alex is supposedly intelligent and political and, while selfish, extremely aware of the politics surrounding his and Henry’s relationship. Book Alex would never have suggested that they come out the way that Movie Alex did. Movie Alex is a fucking idiot, and didn’t do much to even try to convince me otherwise.

Although I hoped that the movie would be more romcom and less political/royal drama, I’m still dissatisfied with how the movie executed this. There was no journey watching Alex and Henry become friends. There was no "I’ve been in love with you for years" from Henry. There was no "you obsessively looked at his picture in a magazine" from Alex. A large part of the animosity between them, for Alex, is that they are constantly compared in the media. They are uniquely perfect for each other because they are both in very specific spotlights. This aspect of their relationship is completely absent from the movie.

My friend wouldn't let me skip the sex scene, but just know that it was fucking uncomfortable.

The Implications

The combination of Liam and Rafael Luna into one journalist character is a twofold character assassination. You can't take a high school hook up and a gay political professional (who Alex looked up to) and combine them into a journalist. It doesn't work. Miguel, the journalist, acts like a villain immediately - sunken eyes with a scorned lover attitude. He's a joke. There's no nuance in taking two crucial pieces of Alex’s sexuality journey and mashing them together to create an evil gay guy with no explanation.

It's implied that Miguel leaked the emails, but this ignores the actual triple agenting that Rafael Luna was doing. This movie is rated R, but we can't talk about a man attempting to sexually abuse another man because we can't talk about sexual assault amongst the LGBT community; that would make the gays look bad. But we can diminish two characters and create an evil gay journalist archetype who just wants to out Alex and Henry for his own professional gain (and maybe get back at Alex for refusing to hook up with him again). So, you tell me, which gay representation is "worse" for the gays?

Miguel had to be created to be the villain so that Richards, the republican candidate running against Alex’s mom, the one who abused men and attempted to sexually assault Rafael Luna, couldn't be the villain that he is in the books. Because that would alienate the republican audience. Because the republican audience is so crucial to the marketing of what is considered the first mainstream gay romcom.

The Technical Aspects

The social media editing was bad. The way the emails were done was bad. There was no version of this movie that would be successful. There's too much reliance in the book on texts and emails, and you can't build a relationship through technology in a movie. It's always unsuccessful.

The cinematography is Hulu-original bland. The directing was incompetent. The script was incoherent at worst, and over written at best. "trouble you no longer" is a bad line. "he grabbed my hair in a way that made me understand the difference between rugby and football." what the fuck are you talking about.

I hate that the movie was bad, but it was bad. I don't know what fucking movie these other people are watching, but Red, White and Royal Blue (2023) is fucking unwatchable.

#txt #do NOT talk to me about this movie. i know the fandom type.#do NOT reply and put stupid shit #i delete replies and block people for ANYTHING.#anti rwrb 2023

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juneandnick · 7 months

Text

Nick is in custody in Canada. He caught wind of rumors where he learned that June, Nichole and Luke are back together. He comforts himself by telling himself that they are happy. He does not care what happens to him. He is broken.

A day, Luke came to visit him, just to remind him of two or three little things.

- She is my wife! You are a monster. You helped the architects to build Gilead. You abused my wife, her vulnerability to have sex with her. You deserve to rot in jail.

Luke knows he is going to hit where it hurts: Nichole.

- I am a much better father to her than you will ever be. She already calls me daddy.

He goes on to brag that with June, they found each other on every level. They are more in love than ever and they will be even more happy when they find Hannah.

- You are a failure. You are nothing!

These words resonate strongly in Nick.

What Luke does not say is that, since the announcement of Nick's arrest, June has been distant from him. They sleep in separate rooms. That she contacted a lawyer to defend Nick and they are constantly fighting, especially over Nichole.

Another day, June visits Nick. He is closed in on himself.

- Talk to me. Talk … Talk to me, Nick.

He is ashamed. He blames himself because he could not make Hannah escape.

- Mark told me that you played a role to help us to escape from Toronto to Hawaii. You made a deal with the US government. I know how difficult this must have been for you. Because ... Because I remember what you told me in Washington.

He stays quiet. He looks at her not knowing what to say to her. He is devastated. She is the woman he loves and that he will always love for the rest of his life.

Deep down he knows it, there will never be anyone else in his heart.

But he does not want to interfere with her happiness, that of being reunited with her husband. He wants her to forget him, it is the best thing to do.

- Jesus, Nick. Fuck, is this what you want? Is that enough for you, this bullshit life?

Why did you lead me to believe that Rose was pregnant with you?

- I did it for you and for your family. I did not want to ruin your chances of finding Luke and being happy with him again. To get your old life together again.

- But you are also my family. I want what is best for both of you.

- Luke is your husband.

- He is my past and you are my present.

Today, I am no longer the same woman I was before Gilead. Luke will always have my love but ... It is you I want to grow old with. You are the one I want to wake up to every morning. You are the one I want to raise Hannah and Nichole with.

I do not want to lose you. I cannot … live without you. We tried to pretend to be happy while being apart and we failed. Nick, with you I feel alive, I feel strong, I feel loved for the woman I am and not for the woman I should be just to please.

I love you Nick Blaine. I want you, body and soul, forever.

Source Pictures: Screenshots S5E04 - S5E09 - S5E10 (by me)

#the handmaid's tale #osblaine #june osborne #nick blaine #luke bankole #season6 wish

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bloatedandalone04 · 1 year

Text

The Break Up - Part 5

Series Masterlist

PSA: strongly suggested to read the warnings before proceeding.

+Tommy’s birthday is completely made up by yours truly as it was never mentioned.

Part Five <3 | Previous Part

June 20th 1985

10:48 AM

Things had gotten worse. You slipped even further behind in your schooling, resulting in you having to take a few weeks of summer to finish up all the past due assignments you had. It was that or they fail you, and that was completely off the table.

In all honesty, you were embarrassed at yourself for getting too comfortable and not taking your schooling as seriously as you should’ve been. A good education was close to impossible to have in a town like Shadyside, and you were ashamed at the fact that you took it for granted for even a second.

On top of getting caught up on your school work, you were also putting in more hours at the hospital. Eve had told you that if you were to keep up the hard work you’d been putting in, she’d offer you a job there after you were done with school, as well as pay you for the hours you’ve already worked.

Your volunteer position became an actual job before you even knew what was happening and it only added to the overbearing weight that was currently on your shoulders. You were grateful, but you were also exhausted.

It didn’t help that your and Nick’s relationship was on the rocks and having Beth constantly being in your ear about ending it. You loved him more than anything, and you knew that you wanted to be with him for the rest of your life, but you were also young. Maybe you had gone too fast, maybe you were rushing into things.

It was a Saturday morning and usually you’d be hanging out with Beth and Emma, but you were stuck doing assignments instead. Beth hadn’t been wanting to do anything other than get drunk as of recently, something to do with her and John fighting more often lately, so you hadn’t seen her in a few days.

The break from your sometimes overbearing best friend was something you never knew you needed. She had always been the bossy type, but recently she had become extremely controlling as well.

You sat across from Emma in the food court at the Shadyside Mall, your eyes scanning over the words in front of you but not actually reading them. Emma leaned back in her chair, admiring her freshly painted red nail polish before she looked at her engagement ring and wedding band, her lips turning upwards into a smile.

Unbeknownst to her, you watched the whole thing and for a split second felt envious of her. She had found someone in this hellhole of a town who loved her more than anything in the world, and her relationship wasn’t judged or frowned upon, like yours. She was one of the lucky ones. “Hey, Em?” You ask and she looks up at her, the smile still gracing her face as she hummed. You paused for a second, trying to figure out the right words. “How…did you know that Steven was the one? Was there something he did? Like a gesture or something?”

Emma looked caught off guard by your questions and leaned over, folding her hands on the table. “You know Steven, he’s not much of a romantic guy,” she started. “So, no, there was no big gesture or anything like that.”

“Then what was it?” You asked, your attention now completely taken away from your study book in front of you.

“It was more like…a feeling,” she answered, spinning the band around her finger. “There’s this one look that he gives you and you know that you want to be looked at like that for the rest of your life. At least that’s how it was for me. There was this one night where we had planned out everything perfectly, and then when everything ended up completely falling apart, he just looked over at me as if everything would be okay. That’s when I knew that I wanted him forever. Our night had been ruined, but we were so happy anyway.”

You nodded, your eyes glancing down at her rings.

“Why? You’re thinking Nick’s not the one?” Her question made your eyes shoot up to meet hers, your brows furrowed. “Sorry, but I’ve noticed how distant you’ve been lately. That kinda thing can hurt a relationship more than you think.”

“No, it’s not that,” you trail off, looking around the food court. Nick was across the room, standing in line for the drink stand. You make eye contact for a split second before you’re looking away. “Whenever Nick looks at me, I feel the same way about him that you do with Steven. I get all nervous around him and my heart races every time he enters the room. I know he’s the one for me, but I don’t know if it’s the right time.”

“Uh oh,” Emma said. “Did Beth get to you, too?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, did Beth give you the whole ‘you’re too young to know what you want’ speech?” Emma asked. “Because she did the exact same thing to me on the ride home from dinner back in February, right after I told you all about my engagement.”

“Really?” You weren’t all that surprised. Beth was never one to mind her own business. “She gave me a speech, just not that one.”

“Don’t let her get to your head, okay? It’s your life, not hers,”

You shake your head and sigh, playing with your fingers. “It’s not like that. I’ve been falling behind in class and with this position at the hospital, it’s been even harder to keep up and I’m just…” you trail off, looking at the scattered papers that littered the small table. “I’m just stressed.”

“Try not to worry so much,” Emma said, reaching over to place her hand on your wrist. “Everything is going to be fine.”

You smile at her, though her words did very little to put you at ease.

“Man,” she said, looking over at Nick. “That is one frustrated looking boyfriend.”

You follow her eyes and look at Nick. He was normally good at hiding his emotions, especially in public, but he wasn’t doing the best job at hiding his annoyance at the moment. “Yeah….I’ve been kinda avoiding him,”

At this Emma’s eyes widen, taking her hand off you. “You what?”

“Yeah,” you sigh again. “I feel bad, but whenever he’s over at my place, I never get any work done and he’s always asking me if I’m okay. Recently he’s been annoyed that I’m always at the hospital and not with him… it’s just too much for me right now.”

“I get that, I really do, but don’t push him away just because he cares,” Emma tells you. “He’s a good guy, Y/n. You know that.”

“I know,” you say, sitting up once you see Nick walking over to the table, a tray of drinks in his hand. “I just wish he understood how stressed I am. I mean, he’s Nick Goode. He’s never had to work this hard for anything. I feel like he doesn’t understand how hard things can be for people who aren’t him.”

“Have you told him that?”

“I don’t want to hurt his feelings,”

Emma sighed. “You can’t keep things bottled up like this, Y/n. It’ll break you beyond repair,”

“Yeah, I know,” you said quietly. “We’re meeting up later this week. I’m gonna talk to him about it then.”

“Good. And, hey, if all fails, you still have me,” Emma smiled at you just as Nick reached the table, handing her a pink colored drink. “Thank you.”

He nodded at her and sat down next to you, sliding you your drink. “Thanks, baby,” you say and grab the side of his face as you kiss his cheek quickly. You tried to ignore the fact that you hadn’t been affectionate to him much recently and the quick peck showed that.

He smiled at you before you went back to reading your notes, missing the look he gave Emma and the comforting shrug she gave back to him.

June 24th, 1985

12:53 PM

Nick had never been more annoyed and pissed off in his entire life.

Things were going great, and now it’s as if he was dating a ghost. How did things go so wrong? He tried to think back to when he could’ve possibly fucked up so bad to the point of you feeling the need to avoid him like you were currently doing, but came up with nothing. What had gone wrong?

He remembered the exact moment he noticed a change in you. It was the night of Emma’s wedding. Things were going fine, until Beth decided to set you up with Luke just to get on his nerves. It didn’t work out in the end, because it was Nick who took you home, after all.

It was definitely when Beth took you away for a talk that you had drastically changed in so little time.

He rolled his eyes. Of course Beth had something to do with it. And just when he thought he couldn’t hate her any more than he already did.

Nick hadn’t spoken to her since the night at your apartment where she ripped into him as if she knew him better than you did. He had nothing nice to say to her after that night and he swore to himself that he’d keep his thoughts about her to himself, for your sake, but this was ridiculous. Beth was a massive threat to his relationship with you, and he has had more than enough of her games.

You had told him to come over and help you finish up some assignments, but how could he do that when it seems as if you weren’t home? He gave up on knocking and went to leave when he paused at the top of the stairs, his eyes on the door next to yours.

307. Beth Roberts.

He walked over to the paint-chipped door and knocked loudly, waiting for your best friend to open it. She did, and when she saw who it was, her expression turned hostile and her eyes squinted. “What do you want?”

“What do I want?” He repeated the question, looking down at her. She was a lot shorter than him, much like you, and he could tell that his height intimidated her, but she didn’t let it show. “I want you to tell me what you said to her.”

He didn’t have to say your name for her to know who he was talking about. Her smirk proved that point quite well. “Said to who?”

“You know who,” his voice was deep and told her that he was in no mood to put up with her bullshit.

“I can’t say I do,” she hummed, leaning against the door frame.

“Beth, I am not going to do this with you right now,” he said, his voice dripping with masked anger. She opened her mouth to speak but he cut her off by slamming his hand roughly on the frame, just inches from the top of her head. He wished he could take joy in seeing her jump slightly, but he was beyond pissed off. “What the fuck did you say to her?”

The question was asked loudly and Beth looked around to make sure no one peeked their heads out of their doors to see what was going on. “Would you keep your voice down?” She muttered, her confidence leaving her by the second. “I don’t know what you’re talking about and I don’t have a damn thing to prove to you. Maybe Y/n’s finally realising that you’re not good enough for her.”

Nick stared at her, his face void of any emotion. He leaned down so his face was mere centimetres from hers, making Beth hold back her want to cower away from him. “I swear,” he said. “If I find out that you said anything to her about me and our relationship, I’ll find you and I’ll make you wish you never even met her.”

Beth’s eyes widened at the threat and she stepped away from him and into her apartment.

Nick gave her one last look before he turned around and walked down the stairs without another word.

Beth stood there for a few seconds, her heart beating wildly as she tried to calm herself down. She closed the door and locked it, grabbing her half empty bottle of wine and picking up her phone, dialing your number.

6:46 PM

You sighed as you entered your apartment, tossing your keys onto the counter and throwing your jacket over the chair.

While you were in the middle of taking notes from Eve at the hospital, you were paged to the front desk where you were told that someone had called and asked for you.

It was Beth with some rather interesting news about your boyfriend. She sounded drunk and completely out of it, so you weren’t sure how much of it was actually true. She rambled on about how your home phone went to voicemail so she just had to call you at work.

It was embarrassing, to say the least. She had called you at work to complain about Nick when she could’ve waited until you got home. You could only imagine how unprofessional it looked to see you comforting your best friend over the phone instead of paying attention to what Eve was saying.

You changed into a pair of grey sweatpants and a black tank top, sitting down at the table to go over the notes you took today. Just as you began reading, the sound of knocks were heard. “It’s open,” you call out without looking up from your book. The door opened and your boyfriend walked in, his eyes meeting yours almost instantly. You furrowed your brows, not knowing who you were expecting, but definitely not it being him. “I told you I’d see you later this week.”

“I can’t wait that long,” he said, walking over to you and leaning down slightly to place his hands on the back of the chair across from yours. “I missed you.”

You sigh as you place your hand on your forehead. “Why didn’t you try to use the key I gave you?”

“I didn’t know if you were home,” he replied. “I stopped by earlier and waited for a bit. I didn’t know you had a shift today.” He sounded bitter and it fueled something inside of you.

“So I heard,” you say and watch as he gives you a confused face. “Beth called me at work and told me you went and saw her today. Said you threatened her?”

“I’d hardly say I threatened her,” Nick said and shrugged the situation off. He sounded so nonchalant that you were beginning to believe that Beth made things sound worse than it was. “Scared her, maybe.”

“Really,” you squint your eyes at him, looking back down at your notes.

“Baby, you know I’m not like that,” he said, reaching over to grab your hand. “She’s lying.”

Before his hand could make contact with yours, you pull away and sit up. “Okay, I can’t do this right now,” you look up at him. “I have to go over these notes so I don’t lose my job.”

“Will you put the book down for two seconds?” Nick asked, frustration seeping from his words as he tugged at his hair. “I feel like I haven't seen you in forever.”

Maybe you were acting irrational, but you couldn’t help it. You were running on very little sleep and the call from Beth had made you angrier than you thought you’d be. “So you go to Beth?”

Nick looked at you with an expression you’ve seen many times on him, but not when it was directed at you. He looked livid. “I have to get updates on you somehow,” he muttered, dropping his head so you couldn’t see his face. “You don’t give me any.”

“I need space, Nick,” you say, your brain not catching up to the words quick enough. “I’ve been so busy and stressed lately.”

“How would I know that?” He asked, his eyes angry as he stared at you. “You don’t tell me anything anymore.”

“Nick, please,” you said quietly, putting your elbows on the table and tangling your fingers in your hair out of frustration. “Just give me a little time to figure things out.”

Nick’s ears were beginning to burn as he felt his chest tighten with anger. “Figure things out?” He mumbled. “Or figure us out?”

“Nick,” you pleaded, having a bad feeling about where this conversation was going. “Please, let’s talk about this another time.”

He stood straight up. “No, we’re talking about this right now,” he said. “I don’t see you for days and the one time I do actually see you, you want space? How the fuck am I supposed to be okay with this?”

His tone was somehow making you stress out more and you shakily sighed, trying to calm yourself down to be able to think rationally. “Nick,” you say quietly. “I think we need to spend some time apart. Just until I get caught up on things.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“No,” you weren’t sure where this was going, but you pushed past your nervousness and sat up straighter, refusing to back down now. “Please, just go.”

“Fine,” he muttered, making no move to leave. “Can I see you sometime this week, then?”

“Yeah, maybe,”

“Maybe?” He wasn’t getting the hint and you were growing more frustrated by the second. “Come the fuck on.”

“Jesus Christ, Nick,” you said, your voice raising slightly. “I can’t do this anymore. I need a break.”

“From what?”

“From everything,” you were quiet again. “From you.”

“You’re breaking up with me?” He asks angrily, backing away from you. “Because I want to actually see my girlfriend every once in a while?”

“You don’t get it,” was all you could mutter as you refused to make eye contact with him.

“Enlighten me, then,”

At your silence, Nick got his answer. You didn’t want him anymore.

“Fine,” he said, pushing aside any rational thoughts as he finally let his frustration out. He always had been too stubborn for his own good. “Fucking, fine. That’s great. First, you tell me you need space and now you’re telling me you want a break less than two seconds after?”

“It’s not like that,” you tried to reach out to him and make him stay so you could properly talk about it.

“Whatever,” he mumbled, pulling away from you and walking towards the door. “Good luck with your school work. I hope you do fucking fantastic.”

“Nick-”

“No,” he cut you off, opening the door and turning one last time to look at you. “Like you’ve been wanting to say since I got here, we’re done.”

At that, you shoot up from the chair, your brows furrowing. “Nick, that’s not-” you shake your head, beginning to walk over to him. “Nick, wait, that’s not what I meant.”

Before you could reach him, he turned around and slammed the door shut behind him. You stood there for a few seconds, trying to wrap your mind around exactly what just happened. At the realisation that your relationship was over, tears immediately formed in your eyes and began to fall as you dropped to your knees. Your hand came up to cover your mouth as you sobbed, all the stress and weight of the past few weeks finally becoming too much for you to handle.

April 16th, 1985

5:32 PM

“Okay, Beth, calm down,” you say, rubbing your forehead with your hand as you listen to her ramble over the phone.

“I can’t!” She said then went quiet for a few seconds. “You know…I’d feel better if you came over and hung out with me for a bit.”

“Beth,” you sighed. “Nick and I have plans tonight. You know that.”

Just as you said that, Nick walked into your apartment, takeout bag in one hand and the spare key you gave him in the other. You gave him a quick wave then held up a finger, signaling that you’d be done in a second.

He just nodded and placed the bag on the counter, beginning to empty it.

“I know, it’s too much to ask,” Beth mumbled. “I get it. I’ll be fine.”

“No, wait,” you say, stopping her from hanging up. You look over at Nick, giving him an apologetic smile while he gives you a confused look. “Why don’t you join us?”

Nick’s eyes widened as he opened his mouth to protest.

“Really? Are you sure?”

“Why not?” You say, hiding your disappointment that she actually agreed, but also knowing that she needed a friend right now. “Come over in a few.”

“Okay! See you soon,”

You hang up and help Nick take out the food, setting it up on the counter. The whole time, you felt his eyes on you, no doubt ticked off at the intrusion of your date night. “What?” You ask and he just shakes his head. “Beth and John had another fight and she doesn’t want to be alone right now.”

“You shouldn’t let Beth walk all over you,” he said casually, grabbing the plates. You were caught off guard at what he said, his nonchalant tone not being what you expected.

“She doesn’t walk all over me,” you tried to defend Beth and yourself, but who were you trying to kid? Nick knew you better than you knew yourself.

“She does, baby,” he replied. “And you let her.”

You shake your head. “She’ll only stay for a bit, then I’ll send her on her way,” you reach over and wrap your arms around his middle, kissing his shoulder through the material of his t-shirt. “After that, it’s just you and me.”

Well that was a lie. Beth stayed the night and slept on your couch, successfully ruining Nick’s night with you and proving his point of her walking all over you. You tried to get her to go home but she whined and said she didn’t want to be alone, thus resulting in her spending the rest of the night by your side, making Nick sit across the room from you.

It was frustrating, for you and Nick, but what could you do? She was your best friend and she needed you.

You’d have the rest of your life to have date nights with Nick, anyway.

July 2nd, 1985

4:56 PM

An old, sappy romance movie played on the TV as you wrapped the blanket around your body tighter, leaving no room for any air to touch below your shoulders.

You knew you should get up and be productive, but you wallowed in self pity instead.

Fuck, you missed him.

Why hadn’t you fought harder to get him to stay? Why did you push him away in the first place? Why were you such an idiot sometimes?

You could only continue to lie on the couch for a few more minutes before you had to go to the hospital, and that thought alone filled you with dread. You quickly realised that Nick really was one of the few beacons of light in your life. He’d been out of your life for less than two weeks and you felt as though you lost a part of yourself.

How tragic that story turned out to be.

A few more minutes pass before you finally get up and change into dark blue scrubs, tying your hair into a low bun as you look for your keys.

Three knocks were heard against your door before it opened and in walked Beth.

You hadn’t talked to her much since she called you at work, something you were still ticked off about. “Hi, Y/n/n,” she said as she made herself comfortable on the couch. “So, John and I had another fight. Can you believe it? Do you want to come get drunk with me at Marley’s?”

You stopped looking for your keys to glare at her, gesturing to your current attire. “Does it look like I can do that right now?” You muttered, grabbing your bag and slinging the strap over your shoulder.

“Jesus,” Beth held her hands up in defense. “What’s wrong with you?”

A shaky sigh leaves your lips as you close your eyes. “Nick and I broke up,” you hadn’t told her yet and the poorly hidden smirk on her face was the exact reason why.

“Awh, honey, I’m so sorry-”

“Don’t bother, okay?” you cut her off, spotting your keys on the kitchen chair. “I know you hated him and were just waiting for the day he broke my heart. Well, that day was a week and a half ago, and it was my own fault.”

You walk over to the door and swing it open, not bothering to shut it behind you as you knew Beth would follow you. “Oh, don’t say that,” she said, following you out into the hall. “You weren’t meant to be. That’s not your fault.”

You stopped walking and turned to face her. “I actually think we were, but I fucked up and pushed him away,” you muttered. “All thanks to you.”

She grabbed your arm as you turned away. “Excuse me?” She roughly let go of you, crossing her arms over her chest. “How is any of that because of me?”

You rolled your eyes. “Come on, Beth. You had it out for him from the second you saw him,” you say and this time Beth rolls her eyes. “You never gave him a chance! You were constantly in my ear, telling me to break up with him every four minutes.”

“Please,” she scoffed. “It’s not my fault your taste in men sucks. He was the one who was never truthful. He was manipulating you the entire time! I can’t believe I thought you were smart enough to realise that.”

That made any and all words die in your throat. So this is what she thinks of you? She thinks you’re stupid and clueless.

This was the last time you let her walk over you. Fuck, you should’ve listened to Nick. “You’re right, Beth,” you start. “I’m stupid and that’s why I got into college while you sit at home all day and get drunk. I’m stupid and that’s why I got offered a full time job at the hospital after I finish school. And I am so stupid for not realising soon enough how stuck up and opinionated you are.”

Beth opens her mouth in shock, but no words come out, and steps away from you as if your words physically hurt her.

“But the thing I was most stupid for was letting go of a great boyfriend and an even better guy,” you finish and turn around, walking down the stairs and ending the conversation there.

Beth watches you go, anger, guilt and sadness running through her body.

Finally, you were beginning to stand up for yourself. Finally you told Beth that she doesn’t have a say on everything in your life. Finally you were relieved of the pressure that came with being her best friend.

Was this repairable? You didn’t know. But at the moment, you didn’t care. It was time you stopped letting people walk all over you.

July 4th, 1985

6:43 PM

The cemetery was surprisingly peaceful in the evening. This is where the dead go to rest, after all.

You walk through the seemingly endless rows of headstones until you find his, the stone marked red with graffiti.

Thomas Slater.

March 17th, 1960 - July 19th, 1978

Son. Brother. Friend.

You reach out and run your fingers over the word brother before putting your palm flat against the stone, closing your eyes for a few seconds.

He’s probably so disappointed in you. It had been months since you last visited him, and to be honest, you were just as disappointed in yourself.

You hold a single tulip in your free hand, admiring the pretty flower as you think over your words. What do you say to someone who might not even be listening?

With a heavy sigh, you place the tulip onto the dirt beneath you, knowing that it would soon, too, be among the dead. “I don’t know if you can hear me,” you start, looking over the headstone. “Tommy…..things are bad again.”

The last time you visited your brother was back in April, when you first started falling behind in class. You realised that you only ever came to talk to him when something bad was happening or was going to happen. Like now, with both your schooling and now Beth. It was a habit you needed to change.

“I know it’s been a while since I last came to visit you. I wish I had an excuse, but I don’t,” you shakily sigh, reaching up to quickly wipe away the few tears that had fallen. “I feel like I’m failing. I feel like I’m letting everyone down. Mom, dad, you. You were always so proud of your little sister.”

Your hand held onto the necklace that he had given you days before he left for camp, knowing that he’d miss your actual birthday. The last thing he had ever given you.

“I sometimes forget that I’m older than you now. But I’ll always be your little sister. Always,” you don’t bother to wipe away the tears at this point. The cemetery was abandoned, leaving you alone with hundreds of dead people, so no one (alive) would see you cry. It was oddly comforting. “My birthday is in a few days. I’ll be twenty one….you’d been twenty five.”

You reach over and attempt to wipe away the red spray paint, hardly being successful.

“I’m gonna make things right. I’m gonna do better,” you wipe the red paint onto your jeans. “I want you to still be proud of me.”

After a failed attempt at wiping away the paint, you read the simple word that hurt your heart more than anything.

Monster.

“You weren’t a monster, Tommy. You were the best brother anyone could ever have, and I was lucky to have had you in my life. I’d do anything to have you here again,” your voice broke at the end, and you could only imagine how broken you looked in general.

You read the headstone once more, your eyes lingering on the date of his death.

“I miss you, Tommy. I love you,” you stand up, brushing the dirt off from your knees. You step forward and rest your hand on the top of the grave. “I’ll visit again soon, I promise.”

With that, you turn around and walk away, not being able to bring yourself to glance back as you exit the cemetery.

#nick goode imagines #nick goode x reader #nick goode #nick goode smut #nick goode fluff #nick goode 1978 #nick goode 1978 imagines #nick goode 1978 x reader #nick goode 1978 smut #fear street #fear street 1978 #fear street imagines #Fear Street x reader #fear street 1978 imagines #ted sutherland x reader #ted sutherland imagines

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glasskey · 1 year

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THT Redemption Arcs

I’m going to be running through some story and character analysis for THT in the weeks to come and I’m going to start out by talking a little bit about the difference in redemptive arcs. For those of you who aren’t clear about what a redemption arc is, it’s essentially a story line woven into your characters narrative to enable them to redeem themselves from previous questionable actions. There are some great examples in The Handmaids Tale, almost 100% of our characters are morally grey and they’ve all got a vivid history with a bit of baggage, so we’ve got a lot to choose from. Whenever a character performs a redemption arc, essentially 2 things need to happen for it to be considered complete: Firstly, your character has to truly be sorry and try and make amends. Secondly, other characters have to acknowledge that they are truly sorry and in some respects forgive them. We also have 2 different types of redemption arcs; slow and sudden. Basically, the character will either have an epiphany of all the crappy things that they have done and suddenly beg for forgiveness (usually at the last minute) OR said character will see the error of their ways through slow observation and work to be a better individual. With that in mind let’s take a look at some of our characters and see what kind of redemption arc they have.

Fred: Fred is one of the primary reasons that Gilead even exists, from the word go he was never getting a free pass no matter he did. For Fred, his Achilles heel is his quest for power which is constantly undermined by the impotence he feels at not being able to father a child. Freds desire for power fosters a sense of self entitlement that seeks to enslave June, while his impotence breeds an anger that alienates him from the woman who once loved him. His ego is ultimately his downfall and we see it in all its forms almost to his dying breath. While Fred may have acknowledged what he did was wrong, his attempt at redemption was driven purely by selfish motives and as a result the other characters did not forgive him. Fred attempted a sudden redemption arc and ended up doing an epic face plant. Instead of forgiveness he got an incredibly satisfying smack in the mouth and a “you had this coming” from Nick, and was hunted down and torn to shreds by the object of his desire. Redemption arc: Epic Fail. Result: some serious poetic justice.

Serena: Serena was Freds’ co conspirator so she’s responsible for some pretty heinous stuff, not to mention personally torturing the protagonist. She’s truly Machiavellian and consistently falls into the “sorry, not sorry” camp depending on what day of the week it is, making her attempt at a serious redemption arc difficult to swallow for anyone. Characters with the capacity for this much malice will generally perform a sudden redemption arc toward the end, finally achieving forgiveness, but sacrificing themselves as payment. Oddly the writers have chosen to engage Serena in a slow redemptive arc over the course of season 5, having swallowed some of her own poetic justice. I remain unconvinced, all this bonding with the protagonist, pouting and tears wont erase seasons of cruelty. Serena is a monster who's only sorry she lost her monster pal. Redemption Arc: still in progress, most likely successful. Most likely fatal

Aunt Lydia: Oh Dear. It’s hard to come back from shit this bad, but we know from The Testaments that our favourite super cuddly Aunt with a cattle prod, is due for a redemption arc. Watching The HMT and judging by The Testaments, it appears that she will be performing a slow redemption arc, which serves her purposes as she’s going to be busy working for the resistance. Ultimately the scales of justice demand balance and there’s no way the average viewer / reader would think that it’s a fair deal that she goes back to an ordinary life, once she’s served her purpose. Like Serena its justified she sacrifice herself as payment and there’s also the small matter of Aunt Lydia not being able to forgive herself. This brings me to Janine, I can definitely see Janine being a catalyst for Aunt Lydia’s break with Gilead. The nature of the protagonist in The Handmaids Tale is that she is a lone voice and as such June is what we refer to as “The Final Girl”, the last one left to tell the tale. This does not bode well for Janine. Redemption arc: Ultimately successful (in some respects).

Luke: Let’s face it, no matter which way you slice it, he’s no angel. He cheated on his wife and he left June and Hannah in Gilead because he was scared. What do these two things have in common? Leaving when the chips are down. From the description in Atwood’s text, Luke was always intended as a character who portrayed the casual misogyny that exists in the world. He’s been toned down somewhat for the show but it’s still there, lurking under the facade of our devoted “nice guy”. This is absolutely intentional, he’s described as a “good man” and he is, but there are plenty of times that he falls short and just doesn’t get it. He’s been performing a slow redemption arc over season 5 and it reached a crescendo in episode 10 at the train station when he sacrificed himself for the good of the protagonist. Most notable was the instance where he acknowledged her independence by using her maiden last name. He’s going to have to pay penance for the times he left though and thus the incarceration by Gilead forces. Redemption arc: Still in progress but promises to be successful.

Nick Blaine: I want to be honest about Nick, I love him but he’s done some bad shit. The writers have hinted as much and there’s plenty of evidence. Far from a clean well-mannered lawn boy, Nick Blaine is in fact, shady as fuck. This isn’t a mistake, after all, what good would a clean cut boy be to June when what she actually needed was a dodgy rebel to help her get things done in Gilead? When June says “he helped me to survive”, what she really means is that Nick was a navigator around all the dark dangers of Gilead and you don’t know about those unless you’ve seen them first hand. Nicks been performing a slow redemption arc since the end of season one. He was always good hearted, demonstrating loyalty to a broken family and looking openly distressed over the death of a handmaid. He’s also a bit of a rebel, he doesn’t follow the rules and doesn’t seem to quite fit in, all of this making him ultimately easier to welcome back to an ordinary life when he finally reaches the end of his journey. Nicks redemption arc is interesting because it not only requires other characters to forgive him, but he also needs to forgive himself. He’s been referred to as “a good man in Gilead” for a few seasons now, Tuello also called him “an honourable man”, but the reality is he’s still going to have to prove his loyalty by doing some time undercover. It's his penance. Ep 10 S5 saw Nick Blaine refer to himself as “Nothing”, he feels worthless and he’ll need to forgive himself before he can come home. For Nicks redemption arc to be considered complete he needs to step across the border and stay there. He needs to hold his daughter. Slow redemption arcs generally involve one last battle against your foe and Ep 10 S 5 saw Nick make preparations for his final battle against Gilead. The walk across the bridge in ep 10 and the deal with Tuello signified a redemption arc construct now fully fortified and nearing completion. Redemption arc: In progress. Promises to be successful. Promises to be fucking epic.

The majority of redemption arcs in THT are slow, the only time I’ve seen a sudden redemption arc attempted, it failed miserably. This says a lot about what the writers actually believe about the nature of redemption; anything less than something that you work towards every day, is an illusion. The writers have worked hard to maintain a level of reality and in the real world, people don’t just immediately forgive you because YOU decided to apologize. You need to earn their trust back and work hard to repair that wound. Sudden redemptive arcs are like the kiss of death, I can’t count the amount of times I’ve watched a character weep with remorse only to die seconds later. Slow redemptive arcs are a bit trickier, your character may survive it or not and this decision is based ultimately on how deep the wound they inflicted is.

#nick blaine #serena joy #luke bankole #fred waterford #aunt lydia #max minghella #osblaine #nick x june #hulu #june x nick #june osborne #the handmaids tale hulu #bruce miller #the handmaid's tale #handmaid's tale #handmaid's on hulu #hulu streaming #hulu tv #elisabeth moss

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alwaysnyc14 · 2 years

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The elephant in the room

I wonder if Luke and June are ever going to sit down and discuss Nick. She has been making a huge effort to hide her feelings for Nick ever since she’s been in Canada, but Luke knows perfectly that Nick was a very important person to her, that he helped her survive Gilead and that she fell in love with him. In episode 9 of season 4 when Luke mentioned Nick, he saw June’s reaction when she said that Nick would do anything for her and Nichole, and he must have seen her reaction when she got home after meeting Nick. And he must also know that Nick was the one that delivered Fred to June. Does he really believe that June's feelings for Nick don't exist anymore, that they disappeared in just a couple of months? Or is he so afraid of losing her and feels so threatened by the ghost of Nick that he's clinging to her as hard as he can? It seems that he's so consumed by fear and insecurity that he's willing to pretend to be someone he's not so that she doesn't leave him. He's willing to adopt some of Nick's qualities to fill that void for her and he's failing miserably. What will happen if there's another meeting between June and Nick in episode 9? Will he demand to go with her because he can't stand the idea of them being alone?

Honestly, the whole situation isn't sustainable and is a little bit toxic. He's "changing" out of fear, changing for her and not for himself, and that kind of change is never sustainable. It leads to resentment when expectations are not met. That vicious cycle has to end, June has to stop apologizing for feeling like she's "failing him" all the time and for everything that happened to her while she was in Gilead. I understand why they wanted to work on their marriage, but it's time for them to address the elephant in the room. Just because Nick is in Gilead and they can't be together right now doesn't mean that their relationship belongs in the past. Contrary to what happened with her memories of Luke when she was in Gilead, her memories of Nick haven't faded. She's trying to bury them but the feelings are as strong as ever.

#the handmaid's tale #osblaine #nick x june #nick blaine #osblaine forever #osblaine endgame

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zalrb · 1 year

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Yeah, to me things have never been so bleak for Nick and June. She had a huge moment on the phone with Luke there.

See, the thing is I don't necessarily think it's bleak, I just find the ambivalence annoying because she did have a big moment with Luke telling him to come find her, telling him she loves him, but she had a big moment with Nick the episode before too, telling him she loves him, telling him that she wished the world would go away [so they could be together]. Like Miller said:

MILLER: I feel like this is the most romantic Nick/June season that there’s ever been. I love the fact that they spend the entire season saying they can’t be together. What I was hoping is to show that she’s tangled with these people, inextricably, all of them. And just as much as she couldn’t forget about Fred, she breaks up with Nick 70 times this season. She cannot let go of him

and then Elisabeth said:

I think June’s heart is wherever is best for her children. And when she kind of says goodbye to Nick in episode nine, I don’t think that means she doesn’t love him. But she is recognizing that this is not the best thing to do for her family, and it’s not the best thing to do for his. And they have to make a hard choice. It’s not necessarily the choice that either of them wants. So in the finale, she’s still in that place where she’s choosing her family. She’s choosing Luke and her family. But she doesn’t know, of course, that Nick is blowing up his life for her on the other side.

and then about episode 9 Bradley said:

It had to be this place that people get to where you realize: “It doesn’t matter that I love you. I do love you. And because I love you, us being together will destroy you.” And it couldn’t be an angry breakup. It had to be one where you knew they were breaking up, but that it was because they loved each other

and my annoyance comes from me being like, so what are we doing here? What's the endgame here? What's the point here? Like, I enjoy the fact that Nick's love for June is one of the many reasons why he isn't compatible with Gilead, like he is just so in love with her that he has to act and he can't not follow his heart or his conscience and he can't just be a good little soldier because he loves her, like I get that, I love that, but I kind of get the feeling that maybe their love is only going to exist as a motivating factor for Nick?

MILLER: Well, I think he’s kind of pathologically dangerously romantic and that’s his problem. He genuinely loves June and that’s gonna cause all sorts of problems [...] He’s the guy who we think he is. And even if he tries not to be the guy he thinks he is, it’s either going to be very uncomfortable for him like he is with Rose, or it’s going to fail and he’s going to end up not being able to stop himself from punching Lawrence. I think the nice thing is he’s he follows his heart, and the scary thing is he follows his heart.

and their love could legitimately lead them to each other and lead to creating so many problems for Gilead, like there are so many different ways Nick and June can be together which can then lead to plot developments and sidelining it but being like IT'S VERY MUCH STILL THERE while not showing that in a more balanced way with June just has me like, this is irksome.

#osblaine #nick x june #june x nick #the handmaid's tale #nick blaine #june osborne

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booppooo · 3 years

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Body Guard: Chapter Three

Abby Anderson x Fem! Reader Series

AN: I hope this series isn't too boring, I sort of want it to be a slow burn so it's gonna take a sec for things to pick up, nonetheless I hope you guys are liking it!

Warnings: fighting, murder, gore, blood, injury, yelling, swearing

Word Count: 2268

June 12th, 27 hours remaining

Y/n had been able to scrounge up some aged snacks left in vending machines. It was beginning to dawn on her how careless it was abandoning Abby considering she was the muscle and also her source of clean water and food. To top it off, Y/n was exhausted from all the traveling.

Now she was struggling to open a door that seemed the only passage to progress forward. The surgeon was weak and thirsty only making her goal to push past the door that much more challenging. From what she could see, it looked like a massive shelf had barricaded it, all she could imagine was Abby snickering and pushing the door open with ease.

With a long sigh, Y/n prepared herself to ram her body into the metal door. She shook out her arms, cracked her neck and jogged in place before bracing herself and throwing herself into metal. Though the initial impact was painful and made her shoulder throb, the sound of the shelf crashing on the floor was incredibly rewarding.

"Look who's laughing now." she smirked, finally stepping into the next room.

Greeting her was several more shelves scattered with books and some broken beyond repair. She would love to spend a few moments scanning through them and tucking some away for later, but she had a mission to accomplish, a man to save.

Another rusted metal door led to the outside, the sun shining through its small glass window and faintly illuminating the room. Next to it a familiar growth of fungus indicating infected had once grew here. Without much consideration, Y/n tugged on the door revealing the outside and its fresh greenery and blue skies. She took in a deep breath and let the door shut behind her, extremely proud of herself for making it through yet another building.

Before she stepped into the grass, she shot a quick look behind her, noticing how the door never officially clicked shut. Her instincts had been right, because squeezing through the small gap in the door was a stalker. Once they caught sight of one another, they both shrieked and Y/n found herself scrambling around in her sock.

The stalker got through the gap and lunged at Y/n swinging and grabbing at her. The blade of her knife clicked and she began aimlessly swinging at the infected, too afraid to make a lethal jab. She slashed and sliced but it did little to nothing against its resilient strength and determination to have her for breakfast. It threw a mighty swing at her jaw and stunned her enough to grapple her to the ground.

"No! Get off of me!" Y/n cried out, fighting with all her might to rid herself of the stalker.

The knife was slapped from the physician's hand and now out of reach leaving her virtually defenseless. She squirmed and screamed beneath the zombie, rolling her head out of doge when it came down for a bite. Since Y/n wasn't trained in combat, she didn't know what her next move would be, she had no idea how to maneuver herself from it's grasp and how to fight it off. The pistol in her pack mockingly pressed against her back and made her realize she wasn't getting out of this alive.

Not only has Y/n failed Isaac and Abby, but herself. She wasn't even leaving this world in a heroic, doctoral fashion, she was just getting bit and then eaten alive. The only thing saving her was a miracle.

Or her feet which had managed to squirm in the perfect position to launch the danger hovering above her.

Abby ground her teeth together with a growl as an arrow pierced her shoulder. This wasn't her first rodeo with the Scars, and certainly not her first arrow through the shoulder, but this was taking far longer than normal. More whistles surrounded Abby as she shuffled into the brush and pulled the arrow from her muscle. She gave one last tug and hissed, her blood seeping through her jacket as her heart hammered and her skin numbed.

"Enough of this shit."

The soldier rose to her feet from the growth and began firing at the men and women in robes. As each bullet left her rifle her shoulder jerked back with agony, only fueling her anger for the religious cult. A few bullets and arrows flew by her, barely nicking her skin and clothing but still too close for her liking. She resorted to the sturdy pipe hanging from her pack and eliminated the last few Scars with powerful swings. The final man had been hit to the ground, the metal breaking over his hip.

"Please, no.." he breathed, cowering behind his hands.

Abby tightened her fists and glared down at the bald man. Her boot collided with his ribs, knocking him to the ground, and before he could say his final plea, his skull was crushed into the soil.

Now that the battle had been won, Abby's adrenaline was withering away and the stinging of her wound had her and groaning. But this was but a small bump in the road, so she pressed forward now more determined to find Y/n to give her a piece of her mind.

The soldier jogged along the geography of Seattle looking for even the smallest sign that the doctor had been about. She searched for broken windows, wide open doors, and even trails of blood; no matter what state she was in, she had to be found.

Abby rounded a corner to an overgrown building and was shoved back onto the ground. Her back hit the grass with a solid thud and next to her a stalker scrambled to its feet and began to sprint past her. Then her eyes caught sight of Y/n on her feet and digging around in her pack, the stalker approaching her fast. The blonde was on her feet in an instant and racing toward the infected, reaching it just in time to tackle it against the wall. With all the might left in her injured shoulder, she smashed the stalkers head into the wall, her hand covered in mush and blood.

"Abby! Oh Abby!" Y/n flung herself onto her protector and greeted her with a tight embrace.

Abby hissed as her shoulder seared with pain which signaled Y/n's small hop off of her. The doctor spotted the dyed jacked and gasped.

"Quick, get that off, we have to-" she began tugging at Abby's zipper.

She shoved Y/n away, "Get off of me!"

The physician pressed her brows together, "Abby I need to-"

"You listen to me. For the rest of this damned mission you're going to follow me and keep your mouth shut. If you run off one more time I'm not coming back for your sorry ass." if it were possible, smoke would be billowing from her perky ears, "and don't touch me."

Y/n blinked, her lips parted to speak but no witty remark left them.

"Let's go." Abby growled.

Y/n had so much to say, but knew it was best to keep to herself. The last on her to-do list was to make Abby's head explode. Their relationship (or lack there-of) was already difficult, and now Abby had every reason no to like her. Before their journey begun Y/n wanted to create somewhat of a friendship to ease the tension between them, but had only managed to create distance.

Abby wasn't entirely sure how long Y/n would keep quiet considering her talkative track record. But she was sure Y/n was one wrong comment away from being left for dead. Their time was running out, and every second was precious. For this reason Abby didn't stop to stitch up her shoulder, just simply slipped off her jacket and pulled out the supplies from her pack. Luckily the arrow hadn't penetrated through her back leaving her with fewer uncomfortable stitches.

Though Y/n wish she did considering her profession, she didn't need x-ray vision to see how negligent Abby was sewing herself. She bit her nails harder each time Abby's back tightened from her stitching, but kept her comments and overwhelming urge to help suppressed.

Y/n couldn't help to believe this was her fault. If not for her carelessness Abby wouldn't have had to search for her and get hurt by whatever crossed her path, nor would she have to snap on her and remind her how little the chances of their friendship becoming a reality were. Abby was right, she just needed to stay quiet and follow her.

#abby anderson x reader #abby anderson

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nickjunesource · 2 years

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You have a beautiful tumblr. I love your pics in the banner. Do you think June & Nick will be reunited in the fourth season? Do you think he could tell her all the truth without destroy their relationship and she could forgive him? What are your hopes for the next season? BTW I read "Safe and Sound". I loved it. I hope the writers could read it and be inspired. See you

First off, we're sorry to be so late responding to this very kind ask!

Thank you for your compliments! ❤

To answer your questions, happily we saw that Nick and June were in fact reunited in season 4, and we hope to see more of that in season 5.

We'd love to see a conversation between them about Nick's past one day, but for now we're content to live in the knowledge that June knowing about Nick's early involvement in the SoJ has not changed things between them. It's a testament to how strong they are and how much they love each other are that they are able to overcome all trials and tribulations. Love never fails. Season 4 was so good for reaffirming that June knows that Nick is a good man and that Gilead is a place where it's hard to be good and where so many choices are between bad options and worse ones. When they met on the bridge it was clear that June understood all of that. So if/when the time comes and they talk about what he did, we don't think it will hurt their relationship.

We'll pass on your thoughts to the writers of Safe and Sound, @dystopiandramaqueen and @splitscreen! We love the idea of the writers/producers reading the many wonderful Osblaine fanfics and being inspired. In fact, in season 4 we noticed a few similarities between fanfics and certain things in episodes... 👀 We don't mind sharing beautiful Osblaine ideas.

#nick x june #nick blaine #meta #the handmaid's tale #asks

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arctic-comet · 3 years

Text

Osblaine week 2021, Day 2: Lyrics

Over the last several weeks, I have carefully curated a playlist for Osblaine. The final total length of the playlist is 2 hours and 53 minutes.

The playlist can be found HERE

Click "Keep Reading" if you're interested in the introduction, commentary, more graphics and the full tracklist.

For full disclosure, I have to give some of the credit to my amazing fellow Osblaine fangirls @dystopiandramaqueen, @splitscreen and everyone who participated in a certain conversation for the original inspiration and even bringing up some of the songs.

You should look at the playlist in five parts: one section for each season that's aired and one section for the future (because I like to end things on a hopeful note).

The playlist contains a lot of the following:

Music from movie and TV soundtracks

Instrumental music

Remixes

Classics and covers of classics

Country music. I blame Florida. My sincerest apologies.

Some of the songs were chosen because they reminded me of a certain Osblaine scene, and some of them aren't specific to particular scenes but chosen for the general Osblaine vibe. And most of the movie/TV music I chose have been used for couples that remind me of Nick and June.

Part I- Season 1, first 12 songs of the playlist:

Forbidden Love- Abel Korzeniowski, Jasper Randall, The Hollywood Studio Symphony (Romeo & Juliet)

Fireflies- Owl City

Echoes in Rain- Enya

My Ghost- Glass Pear (Bones)

Daring to Hope- Anne Dudley (Poldark)

Everytime We Touch- Cascada

1000 Times- Sara Bareilles

Too Good At Goodbyes- Sam Smith

In Case You Don't Live Forever- Ben Platt

To Find You- Cast of Sing Street, Brenock O’Connor

She- Elvis Costello (Notting Hill)

Miracle- Instrumental- Cö Shu Nie

Hanging By A Moment- Lifehouse

Commentary:

The first instrumental song IMO works as an intro for their entire love story.

The next two songs are more about having the right vibe. It's a little ambiguous and dark because that's how their life is in Gilead.

Leave my door open just a crack

Please take me away from here

'Cause I feel like such an insomniac

Please take me away from here

Why do I tire of counting sheep?

Please take me away from here

When I'm far too tired to fall asleep

***

Wait for the sun

Watching the sky

Black as a crow

Night passes by

Taking the stars

So far away

Everything flows

Here comes another new day

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah

***

"My Ghost" is June's POV before they sleep together, wondering if she can trust Nick:

Who can you trust, in this place?

And whom can I put my faith?

If you're real, then show me now,

Who you are

The last two songs are for episode 1x10, for both Nick’s reaction to June’s pregnancy and the beginning of her first escape attempt (arranged by Nick).

She may be the face I can't forget The trace of pleasure or regret May be my treasure or the price I have to pay She may be the song that summer sings Maybe the chill that autumn brings Maybe a hundred different things Within the measure of a day

Part II- Season 2, next 10 songs:

Love Will Keep Us Alive- Eagles

So Easy- Phillip Phillips

Incomplete- James Bay

Rewrite the Stars- The Piano Guys (The Greatest Showman)

I’ll Be Your Shelter- Taylor Dayne

Love Never Fails- Brandon Heath

P.S. I Love You- 05:11- John Powell (P.S. I Love You)

It's A Girl- Mychel Danna (The Time Traveler's Wife)

I'll Stand By You- Josh Groban, Helene Fischer

The Miracle of Love- Eurythmics

Commentary:

The first four songs cover June’s escape attempt and the time they share at the Boston Globe.

"Incomplete" is Nick's POV from when she's on the run and he knows she'll be gone from his life soon. He lives in the moment.

I don't wanna look down

I don't want us to break up in the clouds

All I want is to stay us, to stay with you now

"I'll Be Your Shelter" is for when June's mental health is at its lowest point and he goes to Serena to beg for her to get June help.

What you need is a friend to count on

What you got baby you got someone

Who will stay when the rain is fallin'

And won't let it fall on you

P.S. I Love You takes me back to episode 2.09, Nick’s selflessness in the episode and of course the scene where after telling June that Luke loves her, he tells her that he loves her too, despite believing she probably doesn’t feel the same way.

It's A Girl makes me think of the beautiful moment they share during June's false labor when he helps her out of the van and they climb the steps together.

I’ll Stand By You is for 2.10, Nick holding June after she was heartbroken over Hannah and over what the Waterfords did to her and clinging onto him.

Part III- Season 3, next 6 songs:

Extremely Loud And Incredibly Close- Alexandre Desplat (Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close)

All I Ask- Adele

Never Enough- Loren Allred (The Greatest Showman)

I Don’t Wanna Live Forever- Taylor Swift, ZAYN (Fifty Shades Darker)

Love is Gone- SLANDER, Dylan Matthew

Constellations- The Oh Hellos

Commentary:

For obvious reasons, it was extremely difficult to pick songs for this season.

The first (instrumental) song is for the beginning of the season with June coming back to the Waterford house and them then saying goodbye to each other on the street.

All I Ask, Never Enough, I Don't Wanna Live Forever and Love Is Gone are for their night together in June’s room at Lawrence’s (the one we didn’t get to see sigh). They know it's possible it's all they'll ever have, and they'll take it, but it'll never be enough.

I will leave my heart at the door I won't say a word They've all been said before, you know So why don't we just play pretend? Like we're not scared of what's coming next Or scared of having nothing left

Look, don't get me wrong I know there is no tomorrow All I ask is

If this is my last night with you Hold me like I'm more than just a friend Give me a memory I can use Take me by the hand while we do what lovers do It matters how this ends 'Cause what if I never love again?

***

All the shine of a thousand spotlights

All the stars we steal from the night sky

Will never be enough

Never be enough

Towers of gold are still too little

These hands could hold the world but it'll

Never be enough

***

I'm sorry, don't leave me, I want you here with me

I know that your love is gone

I can't breathe, I'm so weak, I know this isn't easy

Don't tell me that your love is gone

That your love is gone

"Constellations" is for their long separation and the doubts that I'm sure plagued them both during it. Would they ever see each other again?

Part IV- S4, next 12 songs:

All of Me- John Legend

(Everything I do) I Do It For You- Bryan Adams

Iris- Natalie Taylor (City of Angels)

She Was Like A Bright Light- Hans Zimmer, Rupert Greyson-Williams (Winter’s Tale)

Noah's Last Letter- Aaron Zigman (The Notebook)

What’s In The Middle- the bird and the bee (Bones)

ivy- Taylor Swift

Footprints in the Sand- Leona Lewis

Remember Me (Lullaby)- Gael Garcia Bernal, Gabriella Flores (Coco)

On The Nature Of Daylight- Max Richter

My Heart Will Go On- Basil Jose (Titanic)

The Story- Sara Ramirez (Grey's Anatomy)

Commentary:

There were sooo many songs I wanted to include in part IV, but I controlled myself and ended up with this particular dozen.

"She Was Like A Bright Light" and "Noah’s Last Letter" are an instrumental double punch to the gut for Nick’s time in Gilead during episodes 4.07-4.09. The first one is meant for when he finds out June made it to Canada, and the 2nd for is for when he starts to gather info on Hannah to give to June.

"What’s in the Middle" and "ivy" are June’s POV of episodes 4.07-4.09.

"What's In The Middle" has more of an angry and confused vibe, and June was definitely both in episodes 7 and 8.

Losing your head is such a common theme

All your brains are falling out, falling out the open seams

Where is the heart, is the heart of the matter

I will empty out my skull of all this useless chatter

On the other hand, "ivy" has this haunted vibe, but there's also reverence and acceptance, which she begins to achieve in episode 9.

Oh, goddamn

My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand

Taking mine, but it's been promised to another

Oh, I can't

Stop you putting roots in my dreamland

My house of stone, your ivy grows

And now I'm covered in you

The next three songs are of course all for their reunion in 4.09, and I couldn’t resist including the song that was actually played in the scene.

"The Story" draws the season to a close nicely, with June understanding that her current needs are different from what they used to be and that there’s someone who understands her completely (and it’s not Luke).

You see the smile that's on my mouth

It's hiding the words that don't come out

And all of my friends who think that I'm blessed

They don't know my head is a mess

No, they don't know who I really am

And they don't know what I've been through like you do

And I was made for you

Part V- Season 5 and Beyond, the last 6 songs

Secret Love Song- Little Mix, Jason Derulo

Burn With You- Lea Michele

The Bones- Maren Morris

Feels Like Home- Auli'i Carvalho, Keegan DeWitt

Love Will Find A Way- Piano Covers (Lion King II)

Like I'll Never Love You Again- Carrie Underwood

“Secret Love Song” is a more angsty tune about a love that’s still kept a secret like June and Nick’s love (as far as most people are concerned). Now that they’ve already made out in front of the man who raped and abused June and made Nick watch him do that, I want to believe they can let go of the secrecy in S5, at least when it comes to a few people.

I'm living for that day Someday Can I hold you in the street? Why can't I kiss you on the dancefloor? I wish that we could be like that Why can't we it be like that? Cause I'm yours, I'm yours Why can't you hold me in the street? Why can't I kiss you on the dancefloor? I wish that it could be like that Why can't it be like that? Cause I'm yours Why can't I say that I'm in love? I wanna shout it from the rooftops I wish that it could be like that Why can't we be like that? Cause I'm yours Why can't we be like that? Wish we could be like that

***

“Bones” is about a relationship with a strong foundation, which IMO they do have. It will carry them in the future, too. They’re more into each other now than ever before and especially June is coming to terms with how strong that love is. They’ll weather any storm.

When the bones are good, the rest don't matter

Yeah, the paint could peel, the glass could shatter

Let it break 'cause you and I remain the same

When there ain't a crack in the foundation

Baby, I know any storm we're facing

Will blow right over while we stay put

The house don't fall when the bones are good

***

“Feels Like Home” is more hopeful. Their home is with each other and I hope that’s something that will be explored more in the future.

Take me, I'm ready

Go slow but go steady

To a place that we can call our own

I wanna know what feels like home

***

“Like I’ll Never Love You Again” is a good conclusion for the playlist. It’s hopeful and a testament to an epic love.

I wanna love you like the rain on a roof

Stronger than a bottle of a hundred ten proof

I wanna take love to places that love has never been

Yeah, I wanna love you like I'll never love you again

And I'll love you again

Oh, and again

#the handmaid’s tale #nick x june #osblaine #osblaineweek2021

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