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#and most recently he claimed that the doctors wanted to study him because he’s sooo fascinating because he didn’t die
thekitschdiet · 3 years
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the kitsch diet part II
part one alr posted!! this chunk is about 3,000~ words long... let me know what u think :-) thank u all for all the luv already!!! looks like I really will hit 31 followers by easter!!!!!!!!
  Who is the Kitsch Girl? 
 I think this is more loosely defined, but The Chic Diet did a truly admirable way of reducing a girl to her YSL bag and her really skinny legs. Now, that implies an archetype, or a population in a specific location. I think kitschness is kind of the niche you fill when you’re not really much of anything else, sort of your own conglomerate of mainstream-specific. One major requirement, though, is being a little too into something somewhat uncool. And the whole illusion falls apart if you have any sort of outward insecurity. See, the Kitsch Girl is somewhat undefinable because she is so much of everything. She exists in multitudes, in a way that is also quite simple to understand; think of a list of axioms, or principles to live by. And now add a section to each one that says “but…” to make a collection of verified exceptions. Say, the kitsch girl will never wear jeans. But she thrifted this pair of vintage flares she just loves. She doesn’t reply to texts efficiently, but sometimes she will within a couple seconds. No mascara, no dinner forks, candles are to be collected not burned; but that was a gift, or something. It’s not personal, of course, those are just the contradictions she exists in. Don’t try to understand it, the enigma is essential to the facade. Or maybe she just lives like this, and her character is so homogenous with her inner world there’s no sense in trying to separate it. You have to have a little bit of an individuality complex about the whole ordeal, which is normally so eugh, but if you’re kitschy enough it works on you. Trust!The Kitsch girl is not someone unlikeable, but amiable and well heeled. I double checked that last one, assuming it meant liked by most, but apparently means affluent. I suppose that is an aspect of the kitsch girl too, having seemingly endless frivolous expenses with no real strain, but that’s not important right now. People that don’t like her think so out of jealousy, or something. Envious that her clothes are all kind of shake-it-up-esque and her highlights desperately need touching up, but she still seems so enthralled with the whole of life… How does she enjoy her own company so much when other people want to know her better? Doesn’t she feel weird about blowing people off to make a joke about reading Kafka in the bath? Why would she document her cluttered, unexciting life on Instagram so delicately, so vibrantly? Of course, no one would say this to her face because they are really baseless claims. She’s nice, generous, and valuable to have as a friend. Trade-offs exist, as they do with anyone. But I like thinking it’s easier to overlook a forgotten birthday when your kitschy best friend gave you a multi strand pearl necklace to celebrate the welcome breeze of June. Or some other made-up holiday. She is so unassuming if you’re not really looking. Girls want in on her inner circle. Or they just don’t care. Nothing wrong with being liked or thought of naught, for the most part. Boys are either enthralled or repulsed by her. Her doctor knows her as something of a hypochondriac, but only minorly. It’s just carpal tunnel, don’t worry… The sales staff at CVS turn a blind eye when she slips an eyeliner pencil into her tote bag. She shoplifts on occasion, just to see if she still knows how. But she is not a shoplifter. $9 here and $6.45 there doesn’t really add up to much. Everywhere she goes, she makes a tertiary friend or two. The term of friend is loosely used here, of course. But it is nice to tell a stranger you like her earrings. Or her phone case is so fun, is it Wildflower? The kitsch girl has an eye for this kind of detail. Simply put, she is sort of unspectacular. But in a way that makes you sort of wish you knew her better.
Phone cases
The phone case is, like, religious for the kitsch girl. Sorry, but there’s just no other accessory as flippant and expensive and single-purpose as a trendy little iPhone case with some semitacky stickers plastered over the design. I used to have an iPhone XS- extrasmall-  with like, 18 phone cases. It was kind of a sordid affair. I jest, but really… owning that many phone cases was kind of sick. We get it, you are frivolous and spontaneous and sooo stylish! Stop posting mirror selfies on your Instagram story, your crush isn’t going to see it. Kidding again. Having an extensive collection of phone cases is just so fun because while attainable, most people just simply do not partake in it. That makes you kitschy and unique. I really thought I had more to say about the IDEA of the phone case, but I guess in practice it is all very, very simple. You can slide your driver’s license in the back of a clear case. At what point does it stop being cool to have legal operational control of a vehicle? I don’t display mine because I don’t really like the photo. I look round. In the eyes but also just in general, swollen, unglamorous. Whatever. Not like I drive a Nissan or anything. I drive my *Mom’s* Nissan. Playing Bladee in the car seems sacrilegious. She would hate it.Back to phone cases. Sonix ones are cute but kind of overpriced retail- unless you have like, an iPhone 12 Pro Max or whatever the fuck is new this year, just go to Winner’s. They always have Xs and 11 cases. I had a cherry one for my previous phone, like the exact one Lana Del Rey had? Thank god I sold it before she got outed as a copfucker or whatever. Casetify is for an inadvertent flex. Flexing your lame, lame taste. Sorry, I know you bought it because you liked it, but what you failed to consider is just how un-Kitsch they are. SO common, and they advertise on Instagram. Sorry, I just can’t get into it! Kind of how I just never liked the Brandy Amara tanks. Or lowtop converse. Otterbox is just distressing. Like, if my boyfriend gave me an otterbox phone case I would probably break up with him because somebody clearly isn’t paying attention- one of my favorite, potentially overused joke is how Otterbox cases are the equivalent of orthopedic insoles. Sorry but if you have poor arch support or whatever, but no pain is worth giving up a good pair of Margiela slingback tabi heels. Obviously I couldn’t afford that right now because all loose income goes directly to Wildflower and my cig boy. But like, one day. I hope you want to punch me in the face a little bit after reading that.  If Wildflower isn’t your thing, at least have the decency to get a beaded phone strap. But not from String Ting. Pray tell you aren’t keeping score, but they are one of my several parasocial enemies. That should have been ME collaborating with Wildflower! Should have been ME mailing shit to Caroline Calloway (more on her later, but she is the only blue check I follow. I adore her! I was on her patreon for a bit I thinkl!!) …. Side note. Phone cases are cute but there is no way to properly protect your laptop without looking just absurd or colossally lame. The foam sleeves… ick.
Having the shittiest music taste ever
So like, here’s the thing. I’m an Apple Music user, which sort of reinstates my status as an unironic My Bloody Valentine Hyperpop Death Grips kinda gal. Read; volcel. My most recent conquest ended up being a huge L on my part, but also… I totally dodged a bullet. The guy had an iPhone 11 (female trait) and didn’t know who Rei Brown was, which just seemed suspicious given his Niche. I just know he had a “making out playlist” comprising entirely of like, Joji. Which isn’t a bad thing I guess but so unembarrassing it horseshoes back to being humiliating.Like I said. Having the worst music taste. It’s nice how subjective and deeply personal your music taste can be; no one really Needs to know you’re a die hard drainer. But there’s also no point in being a die-hard drainer and Not capitalizing off it somehow. I added it up and I have well over 150 hours of just Bladee and Yung Lean. Which is so yass? The more I write, using myself as a case study, I realize just how desperately jobless I am. And Yogenfruz isn’t even hiring! UGH!I think there is something very kitschy about liking hyperpop in the least ironic, least obnoxious way. Sort of feeds into a “I’m not like other girls” thing, but I mean… That’s kind of the idea of kitsch, isn’t it? Be a little different but also the very same as your lipgloss brethren?!Side note. If you make monthly playlists I am genuinely kind of afraid of you. That is just so organized!! I just make playlists with esoteric titles and then make a new one when I’m sick of the stuff on the last. I have exhausted most genres but I think my favorite is the “I’m wearing f****ng air forces and my teeth are SO white”. Guess what genre it is. Or don’t, but it’s probably what you think is. Okay, moving on….
Curating a scent
I like thinking I smell like mango and peach, Glossier you, whatever citrus is in that Lush shower jelly and mint 5Gum. But of course it is probably less distinct and just kind of generally fruit-floral-mint. Anyway. I think Glossier You is the perfect scent for anyone with a rather elementary understanding of the whole.. Perfume business. Every bottle of intentional fragrance I own was made via aesthetic choices… it really helps that Glossier You is so cute And so universal. Now, Glossier is kind of interesting to me because it really is at the intersection of cheugy and kitsch. Kind of basic, overplayed, unspectacular. But also…. Often popular things are popular because they are good. Glossier has excellent customer suurv, they ship SO fast (and no import duties! W!) and their stuff is just so sweet and nice if not unoriginal, in kind of the same way strawberry ice cream is. Which is still my favorite, of course, especially if there’s a vegan option. I was talking about Glossier. What the hell! It’s really worth trying out. A huge principle of kitsch is just… having as many possible layers and appendages to your composure as possible. And adding a signature scent just really completes that! When curating your own, I say this as a complete amateur, know-nothing; make it something that comes kind of naturally to Your Character. Like, I’m just not a Chanel No 5 kind of girl. Odds are you aren’t either. My bottle (before she asked for it back when I told her I didn’t use it, in exchange for a Nordstrom’s gift card) was from my grandmother. Ummm.. Yeah, I really have no expertise in curating a scent. But it is nice to have a signature. And having a bottle displayed on your dresser next to your aughties McDonald milkshake themed beanie baby and a handful of lip products is just way too fun! This is the kind of girl I am, everyone! Cluttered, but prioritizing pretty-delicate things!
Cheugyism
Cheugy is a relatively new word that has unfortunately wormed into my vocabulary to replace “uncouth”. Which I use to mean graceless or tacky, but if that isn’t what it means…. Don’t tell me. That would hurt more than weighing myself after a “feast” slash pastry binge at my dear Grandmothe’s house. Like I was saying. Cheugy. It’s sort of a fucked up concept to me because it is a critique on consumption, but not the pace or volume or magnitude of it. But rather… the idea of not being “good” enough at engaging in microtrends, or involvement in the fast paced fashion cycle. Don’t get me started on TikTok, or do, but… yeah,. No. That will require a cigarette because I’m so sorry, but writing a thinkpiece on social media is so lowbrow I would need to find about six ways to aesthetically counteract it…. Moving on.  I think the idea of cheugy is good, we really do need a word to simply and efficiently define “out of date/uninspired/lame”. But the way it is used to shame others for not liking the same trends or whatever is kind of gross. If you use cheugyism to put other people down and not as a neutral identifier umm… you will become what you fear. Sorry, that’s what happens. Some things that I think are cheugy or embarrassing, or just not part of my stylistic lexicon are… 1. Hooded or zip up clothing, or things with a large graphic on the back. Bingo if it's all three! I just can’t get behind it. Side note, my summer home outfit is brandy sweats and a tube top (Urban Outfitters tank I ripped the straps off) and a large cardigan that should have belonged to a stoner, but probably didn’t. I can dunk on bulky, uninspired clothes because I would honest to God NEVER be caught DEAD out of the house wearing any of it. I’m so serious. Next segment should be about the kitsch girl’s inadvertent affinity for diuretics. Remind me….. One of the ports of my laptop is dead. Not really sure what to do about that.
Eye makeup and what it means to me….
Personally, I am one of those people who never wears foundation and kind of has a complex about it. The kitsch girl wears fluffy eyelashes and owns a plethora of sparkly eyeliner. Or maybe she doesn’t, but she has something distinct and a little ritzy, if not haphazard. We all saw Euphoria and it like, totally imprinted on us. The way glitter sits on your face after a long day is so resplendent. When it’s shining and a little bit melted off from your long, semi-productive day… ugh! Just made for film. Pictures on film. But not the Prequel app. I keep getting fucking ads for it. But it’s so embarrassing. Like, isn’t the whole point of film the authenticity of the moment? The texture of the afternoon? Why would you fabricate that? Prequel is just so cheugy. More on that later. But anyhow. Wearing a ton of eye makeup kind of fits with the idea of film too I think. Like, look at you, in the moment. With your strip lash falling off! It’s all so tres-chic. Plus, for whatever reason, it’s kind of unique or notably dedicated to ~Pull up to the function~ with more eye makeup on than everyone else. Sorry, but it really doesn’t take that long! But yes I will gracefully accept your praise… it’s kind of like the dropshipping of complements if you think about it. Easy to source with little to no effort in the curating. Side note, lashes are like $20 for 40 weeks if you cut them in half and use each pair about 5 times. You could probably do more but I lose track. How the fuck is it almost June? I was trudging through the snow to check the mail for my Online Ceramics shirt just last week, I swear. The trick to cutting your lashes (the way I do it anyway) is pretty simple. Get out two lashes that are symmetrical. Find the middle and cut one slightly to the left and one slightly to the right. This means you have two sets (one set is a little more dramatic than the other but at least they are symmetrical) with longer outer edges. Glue this to the outer corner of your eye and you will look so Composed… obsessed with how this layers with three eyeliner tails (one traditional one pointing up and one pointing down directly below it, sort of like the tail light on a 2019 Lexus UX) and one below your eye, like a clown. Fun, irrelevant fact, is the first time I added this third tail to my eye makeup, my dad had just gotten home from the hospital because he was sure he had like appendicitis or something and it was actually.. Not that. Typical indie hypochondriac. He made me bring him cottage cheese on a plate with a teaspoon that evening. I put black pepper on it for flair, which he hated. Walking up and down stairs with a plate of cottage cheese is much more imprinting than most of the multiplication tables. Don’t forget to use a bright shimmer eyeshadow in your inner corner. It really opens up your eyes. I recommend Too Faced.  One time I got a little bit too high and tried to film an “editorial” makeup tutorial. You will never, ever, ever see that video. But I essentially covered my whole eyelid in the ABH shadow “palermo” and smudged out the edges with a tan Tartelette Toasted shade, coupled with my long-expired Milk Makeup holographic stick. Lopsided lashes and near-blinding eyeliner experience aside, it was kind of cool. My point is, you really cannot go wrong with an arsenal of shimmers, taupey mattes and a good eyeliner pen.
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mimsylovesloki · 3 years
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Episode 2-Play by Play Reactions (Spoilers)
Ooooooh mysterious...
Oh so this variant can (at least briefly) cont people with a simple touch? No need for a scepter?
I NEED A HEROOO!
Oh this variant is taking that lady away? I wonder why
Miss Minutes is gonna move me to violence
Loki is me studying
Hahahahaha get her Loki!
Loki, leave Mobius’ magazines alone
Wow he got into the work force rather fast huh? Bit of a whiplash type scenario considering the end of episode one
No, YOU’RE a cosmic mistake! 😤 my boy looks hot regardless
Sooooo Loki is the most common variant? Why does this not surprise me?
Is... is he a football cup champion??? Omg 😂
Smart boy. Illusion projecting is different than duplication casting. Neato. LISTEN TO MY SMART BOY. RESPECT HIM.
Dude loves wheeling
Yea Loki. Work on getting to the time keepers. Overthrow the government.
Dude is smart with these questions.
Propaganda is INDEED exhausting so that’s fair
Fist hostage... maybe he’s (or she?) gonna use her as a body transfer like Loki in the comics with Sif?
Oh please let this be a genuine smart Loki moment and not just setting him up as a joke and embarrassment...
“Where there are wolf’s ears, wolf’s teeth are near.” Good to know basic mammalian anatomy is still applicable to Asgardian wolves...
Cmon Loki do something cool. Please. Please Loki. Please.
Preach my man, but please, do something cool. My anxiety that you’ll be turned into a joke is spiking.
Is he actually waiting outside or is Loki really just trying to mess with them and throw them off? Or is he just being too cocky for his own good and it’s gonna mess him up? Please please please don’t disappoint me. I have merch for this show already that I can’t return
Bargain baby, bar again. Do it.
Is he actually concerned for the time keepers orrrrrr
Dangit Mobius
Does... being reset... hurt?
Bye C-20 I guess... for now? We’ll see
Of course it’s a friggin theremin that’s playing
Mobius x Judge Renslayer? Oooooooh. Tsundere Renslayer.
Use a coaster my man
Oh her first name is Ravonna
Controversy is the best thing though
You can never understand this Loki. As soon as you begin to understand, he changes. He’s unpredictable.
“I know you have a soft spot for broken things.” Ah, so this entire fandom then?
“But Loki is an evil, lying scourge.” YOU TAKE THAT BACK YOU WENCH!
“That is the part he plays in the sacred timeline.” Well you clearly haven’t been paying enough attention to the files then, hm? Here, let me redirect you to one of the many character analyses I’ve written. Now if you read here........
He doesn’t need to change. He’s already not evil
I don’t trust Renslayer or the time keepers... or Renslayer WITH the time keepers... I think she plays a bigger, antagonistic role than I thought.
You just TRY and delete him Mobius... just... TRY... I will find a way to break the fourth wall and no time keepers can keep you safe from the rage of a million fan girls. Nothing... we don’t need magic...
Omg Loki just sitting there in a chair outside the office like a kid while their parent is talking with the teacher about their “recent behavior”.
Cmon Loki, you don’t need to make excuses or impress him.
My poor boy is SOOO out of his zone.
Tbf mobius, you ASKED. You asked what makes him tick.
Hey hey hey, let’s not gaslight my boy...
The Loki is... uhhh something... gotta keep my hopes up. Trust in Tom Hiddleston...
Mobius showing his true colors...
Please Loki... be badass... not just a joke... please please please... PLEASE!
Mobius, play nice.
I hope this “superior” Loki thing, if it is a female, isn’t a desperate attempt at feminism pandering, chocking up her “superiority” to being female. Please give the characters real stories. Flesh them out.
Juice box time?
No?
More homework?
Bugger...
The sass is off the charts
Librarian lady gonna get killed
Oh boy
Pffffft—
I miss Casey.
Hey don’t ignore Loki. That’s rude.
Bell is the answer?
Poor Loki. Stop trying to fit in. You are best when you are genuinely yourself.
What’s to stop Loki from grabbing the other files?
Homework... I thought I escaped this when I graduated...
Whatcha seeing there?
Oh...
Bye bye Asgard...
Cmon... not more feels.
AGGHHHHHHHH
Please allow him confirmation of Thor’s survival and beating of Thanos!!! He needs that confirmation! He needs that reassurance.
Hear him out Mobius.
“He’s hiding in apocalypses.” Sooooo is that why they go to presumably Mount Vesuvius? I assume?
Mobius, let Loki have your salad.
Rip salad
CASEY
Casey’s juice box
Poor Casey and mobius salad...
Loki, your logic astounds me.
Well, pushing Hulk off of the bridge WOULD have an effect...
VESUVIUS HERE WE COME
He hasn’t really stabbed anyone in the back... except Thor... but not 50 times
Pompeii, here we come!
Ooooooh we gonna see Loki dance with a lady? 😏 get ittttt
Well, if you do cause a branch, can’t you just reset the timeline?
CAUSE SOME CHAOS MY LOVELY MAN
OMG IM HEARING THE LOVE OF MY LIFE SPEAK ITALIAN
I can die happy now
Loki... you look insane.
Uhhh run
Okay you’re good
Sleepy Loki
Let him sleep!
Soooo, I mean, technically, Loki’s actions would still cause the timeline to change, but said change wouldn’t have an impact on the future, just the current moment... so shouldn’t it still be detected by the TVA? At least as a little fleck?
Jet skis?
Omg I just snorted at Loki begrudgingly agreeing with Mobius that jet skis are awesome
Mobius offending my History Teachers for 50 minutes straight... that’s it. That’s the episode.
Mobius really in love with jet skis for some reason
We better get to see Mobius on a jet ski
Fighting for jet skis?
Lol mobius has a point about the magical Asgardians and Jötunns
Glorious purpose
Cmon Loki, destroy this man’s beliefs.
OVERTHROW THE GOVERNMENT
DO IT
TEAM UP AND THROW THE TIMELINE INTO CHAOS
How would you know what the time keepers are doing when you’ve never met them?
How can you meet in peace at the end of time with no chaos?
“You see, I know something children don’t. That no one bad is ever truly bad. And no one good is ever truly good.”
Mobius, don’t patronize my boy. Go jet skiing.
“I know.” Oh good, that point in the trailer was edited.
No candy on Asgard? Poor Loki.
May the best man win? Well that automatically means Loki.
Getting National Treasure vibes
Love you
Alabama will still exist in 2050? That’s disappointing.
Roxxcart.
Loki is very smart. Thank you show.
Renslayer, if you claim Mobius is your friend, trust him.
Kachow!
“For all time.” “Always.” TVA is definitely a cult.
Weapon?
WEAPON!
...weapon???
no weapon...
Meanie...
Are we gonna see what this Loki variant looks like?
I have a feeling this variant is gonna be the female, blonde (I’m so sorry, at the moment I forget her name) in those pictures we saw. Guessing because 1) she was wearing a Loki outfit. 2) her and tom Hiddleston were wet in that picture as if rained on 3) the scene when they enter Roxxcart occurs when it starts to rain due to the upcoming massive storm. So I’m placing all of my money on the table the Loki variant is Lady Loki. Blonde, for some reason. (Or maybe she just didn’t have a wig on in the picture of her we saw?)
Yea please don’t prune this Loki.
Storms a brewing
Good to know Alabama, at some point, does get destroyed. That’s comforting. (Btw this is a joke. I have nothing against Alabama lol. Idk why my brain thought this was funny lol.)
All wet and rainy.
HAHAHAHA USE THAT MAGIC BABY
LET MOBIUS STICK WITH LOKI
Ooh ooh! Is Loki gonna use powers to yoink the roomba here?
Uh oh. Forgot to take into consideration that most big businesses, especially stores, have security cameras, huh?
Times ticking...
Wait was that a reset charge?
Awkward silence
Spookyyyy
Poor dude lol
Or not
Hmmm
Oh???
I RECOGNIZE THAT MAGIC!!! ITS HER!!!
HUNTER (forget her number) IS THE LOKI VARIANT!!! When was she replaced? Or was she always the variant?
That or the other Loki is projecting herself into the hunter? Maybe used the shopping dude as a conduit?
Moment of realization
Smiling contest
No no, Tom Hiddleston’s Loki is superior. I don’t care who else tries to play Loki, Tom IS Loki.
Oh no
Baby crying?
These poor people...
No need to be rough
Is Mobius genuinely caring
Oh... poor C-20
Team up please? Please?
Ah so they really can just send themself into any body they wish, huh? Just by touch?
Loki, learn that trick please.
Sooo, is the other variant Loki’s body tangible? Do they project their conscience into other bodies via touch, or do they not have a corporeal body and rely on others to exist?
Doctor Who vibes
TEAM UP PLEASE
YES
Please
Please?
Offended by Loki name?
Haha sympathy for Thor
Go randy.
Soooo what are you interested in if not ruling the TVA?
Who’s that planting charges? The real body of the other variant Loki?
You okay C-20? (Off topic her actress reminds me of the actress who played Ava Star aka Ghost in Ant-Man and the Wasp) what is real and what about it is so mind capturing for you?
Oh no
Poor girl
Cmon B-15
Hello?
Reset charge
Oh? Bye bye?
HEY!
That’s rude
I miss Randy too
Cmon Loki fight like the badass I know you are
Please
HAHA! TELEKINESIS
Cartwheel WEEEEE
Oooh he swore
Lokis have a pattern of swearing only while taking other peoples forms
Cmon Loki. Go back to mobius. Help them. Prove your goodness. Please.
Poor trucker man
Hello?
Hello!
Fave reveal?
I KNEW IT
Oh????
Flashlights?
RUN!
Is this actually a Loki variant or just sylvie? Or Amora?
Uh oh...
What’s happening
Is she absolutely destroying the timeline?
Poor Doctor Strange. I wonder if he knows about the TVA?
Loki is all alone? Why is he standing still?
Where is she going?
Cmon Loki... help them please...
Loki...
CLIFF HANGER
NOOOOO I CANT WAIT ANOTHER WEEK AGHHHHHHHH
Are they gonna be okay?
How is the variant traveling?
What is her goal?
Why is Loki going after her?
Why is Loki leaning towards the apparent evil side?
Is this actually lady Loki or sylvie or amora since her hair is blonde?
WHAT IS HAPPENING???
So much just happened in so little time. It’s like Marvel wants to slowly spoon feed us with the first 3/4 of the episode and then in the last 1/4, they waterboard us.
Why is this female Loki variant so much more powerful?
So Loki DID know what was going on at the Renaissance fair and was intentionally stalling for her... why?
Her horned helmet is similar to the one kid(?) Loki wears in the comics. One horn broken. How did that happen? Why does she still wear it, especially if she doesn’t want to be called Loki?
No end credit scene yet.
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diedieri · 5 years
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Creepslayerz Week - Day 6 -Fluff vs Angst
Sooo I have a few of these that I was unable to finish / never posted. I worked on mostly original stuff this weekend but I’m hoping to feel the inspiration to get a chapter up before the premier of 3 Below.
So read on, enjoy, I hope to hear from people either about this or my fic “For my glory, where do I stand”
(Side bar: I do have a pillowfort bc yikes this tumblr purge...)
I really would like to expand on this further (and it’s a quick oneshot, please forgive typeos etc, you guys know I don’t have a beta).
Tuesday. Thursdays. Saturday mornings. Sunday nights. Four days a week Steve Palchuk faced his past. The first time outweighed the in terms of fear. The first time, an accident saved Steve’s ass and damned him every day since.
  The first time, a Saturday morning, Elijah Pepperjack came into the coffee shop. Steve had recently switched shifts, explaining why he had never seen him before. His victim from high school, a living memory of the man he used to be. Eli, smiling, set his bag in a corner spot. The best seat in the house had been unusually open. Elijah claimed it like his throne. At the counter, he gave Steve a look. He adjusted his glasses and did a quick glance as his nametag.
 “Argentina.” Elijah did not ask, he simply said. He nodded and said the name again, “Argentina, can I get a caramel macchiato, hot, with almond milk? Extra caramel, no whip cream?” He spoke slow and timed it to Steve typing in his request. Eli was a regular, making Steve feel like a new customer. His fingers fumbled and Eli spoke slower and smiled with patience waiting to have it confirmed.
 Steve asked, “Anything else?” He forced a smile. He was not new at this, dammit! He was a surprisingly competent barista! He was just taken back how easily Eli accepted his nametag. It was not his own, but instead a coworker’s, fondly known as Arrrghh!!!! They had a second badge made, no one knew who Argentina was. Staff and guests alike only knew them as Arrrghh!!! Steve, having forgot his badge at home (or under a rock for all he knew) grabbed the long forgotten tag in the back. Elijah did not question it and Steve became unknown. In that moment they met without history.
 “Eli,” Steve called out his name. Was it the first time? Three years since graduation. Three years since he said, “see you later buttsnack” for the foreseeable last time. How long had they shared the same university? Every day of the week, not just the four he saw Elijah, Steve wondered and looked for traces of his old acquaintance. Their school was large, students were a number. Steve got in on scholarship, football. He did not doubt Elijah had gotten a hell of a scholarship on his own. He smart as ever—a quick glance at his laptop while picking up plates cemented the thought. His screen was all numbers, calculations and formulas going right over his head.
 Why had he not appreciated that growing up?
“Thanks, Argentina.” Steve had to keep wearing the badge. He kept it in his pocket, switching it out when Elijah came. He arrived on the same schedule, his routine was horrifyingly predictable. Eli had not changed, which bothered Steve even more. He could recognize Eli, was he so unrecognizable? Steve still had blonde hair, a stunning jaw, he was cocky, and proud and had muscles.
 The reason came to Steve on a Saturday night. The football games and practice. Spring Fling King Steve, would only ever be near the field during the season. To practice and to play. There was no way Steve, his bully Steve, would be caught dead anywhere else. Especially the biggest game of the season, homecoming and he was working as a barista. Most games, he’d be there, but everyone had plans. Steve talked to his coach, there was some debate but ultimately he said yes.
 Business was slow, even nerds were at the game, it was a grand tradition. Steve cleaned tables and folded napkins keeping himself busy. Nothing was enough to stop haunting thoughts. His shoulder ached and no amount of rolling would soothe them. A complete tricep tear had put Steve out of commission. His first surgery, his freshman year went well. He could not believe that shitty luck but pressed on. He came back hot and stronger than ever. Until the last game of Sophomore year. Steve had made it to the A-team. There was no ache that could stop him. His sweat and blood forced him to go on and on. He would be number one. He would be captain senior year—he would get sacked that game and let out a cry that turned every head.
 His doctor never gave him the go ahead to return to the game. His life was over. There was so very few people who would understand, so few who could pull him back. He stopped going to class. He stopped planning for what was going to happen next. Then, of the very few, he came. Captain Draal. A goofy big guy, with a serious switch that kept you on edge. Steve had complete respect for his senior, especially when he learned he was openly gay. As a freshmen who recently figured out he was bi, he was an idol. Steve had not been ready to come out though he almost did after hearing a story about Draal whooping a linebackers ass, off school grounds. Officially on the school record, the dispute had been settled with words. Draal was an inspiration for the teachers. Gay Athlete solves confrontation with civil words. Unofficially the kicker texted QB Draal with details, seeing the guy in his neighborhood, at a friend’s party. Draal showed up and threw down. Rumor went, he said if he ever heard him call anyone the F-word  again he’d wish it would be a dick being shoved down his throat.
 Draal was a king. He was the only one to tell Steve he heard how impressed his psyche teachers were with him. That he talked to the counselor about a new sports scholarship. He went from player to counselor. Steve the asshole was becoming Steve the shoulder.
 Working the slow night in the café was horrible. He could hear only an echo of Draal saying, “You’re still going to be great.” Steve asked, “Could I have been captain?” The words yes never hurt so much. How the fuck was he going to help counsel when he still had not gotten over himself?
 “Argentina?” A voice asked, concerned and soft as a mouse.
 Steve was standing at an empty table, his once wet rag dry from the circles he’d been wiping in.
 “Elijah, shit, sorry Pepperjack.” The words came out quicker than either of them could process. Eli shook his head, his brain firing off.
 “Pepperjack?”
 “Your last name.”
 Elijah, turned from his awkward angle at his lone table and faced Steve head on. He watched carefully and pointedly looked at his nametag. “I never told you that.” He was sure of himself, sure as Steve was that he’d been waiting for a moment like this.
 “Didn’t have to.” Weeks of watching and pretending had become exhausting. Arrgghh!!! Was getting annoying, annunciating Argentina everytime they called his name. Constantly saying, “You’ll get his number quicker if you just stop staring.”
 Psych 101, bullying is a form of interpersonal aggression. It is a group phenomenon with social factors contributing and perpetuating different contexts. His first psych class had been to fill a requirement. His teacher however inspired him. Steve took the material and had a true self reflecting moment. He didn’t have the badge to diagnosis himself and did not think he could ever commit to medical school to really get the degree for psychologist. But there was something. Something calling and sticking out. It started when he picked himself apart.
 Why did he harass Elijah Pepperjack? He was strange. He was his own person. He was quiet. A nerd. He was cute. Steve liked it when he raised his hand because no one else volunteered. Seeing him pout made Steve’s chest swell. But. There were environmental factors that made him noticing everything wrong. At the time, he wanted to beat the affection out. Unable to stop himself, he chose to stop Elijah. He tormented the kid because Steve could never face himself.
 Arrgghh!!! Was not wrong. He could get Elijah’s number a lot quicker if he texted Claire, she was on a study abroad trip and was always checking her email. He could even text Jim. They were never close but had a strange bond from some supernatural adventures. He would never text Toby, Domsalski would turn around and text Elijah, Jim, and Claire with a big OH MY GOD.
 Asking would be easier, if he did not have to keep up being Argentina. But being anyone else meant instantly being shut down.
 “Hey,” The voice pipped up again, “Are you okay?” Qualms of the last name were put to the back burner. Steve shook his head. No! It was homecoming night and he was not on the field! He did not even have a date to the dance because the girl he thought he liked he called it off with. For the past three weeks, every Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday he’d been thinking about a four eyes. He was right back under his skin and he was just as angry as he had been as a kid.
 “No.” Steve’s reply was clipped and curt. Elijah darted from chair to chair around the café, empty, he gestured to the seat across from him and his laptop. Steve left his rag on the table and took the seat, apparently he left his stomach there too. His gut twisted and turned, knotting on nothingness. Why did this feel like an interview that he lied to get in to? Five years experience required? Sure!
 “So…” Elijah closed his computer and drummed on the lid. The click-click drawing too much attention, he instead fidgeted with his hoodie sleeves, already frayed with years of panic. Steve watched the stickers on the laptop lid as they went down. He learned three fundamental things at the exact same time. First, despite his original findings, Elijah was still into the supernatural. There were three glow-in-the-dark ghost stickers in one corner and a Torchwood emblem at the very center. Second, what was a Creepslayerz and why were there three stickers of the same kind? Third, he needed to say something. Elijah was polite as ever, giving time to the world around while seeking none for himself.
 Silence was getting him nowhere. His counselor encouraged him to make his voice heard. He encouraged players on the team to stand up for what they believed in. Their focus needed to be on the game, not a lie. “Listen Elijah,” Steve did not need to draw his company’s attention. Nothing had been stealing his focus.
 “Do you remember a guy in high school, an ass. Totally handsome. Totally a jerk. Went by Steve, well his name was Steve—is Steve.” He fumbled over his own words, his lie already getting in the way of his focus. The lead did not require much inspiration, Elijah was smart, he didn’t need things to be laid out. A string pulled up on Elijah’s shoulders. His bully, hateful and impractical was supposed to be working in a car shop in Arcadia-Oaks. Not in a coffee shop on a game night. Not looking awkward in a dim light.
 “Steve?” Elijah was not sure. How could he! They looked a lot, of course, he thought Steve was Steve the first cup of coffee the other had made. The name tag was the deal breaker. Elijah could breathe knowing his past was behind him. His arm closed around his stomach, rubbing his side. His past was in front of him.
 “Yeah.”
 Steve’s past was in front of him.
 Steve actually said it! He was the nightmare. He was real. This night fucking sucked. Why not get it all out at once? His knee bounced, Elijah had to say something. Bastard. Why are you here? You ruined my life!
 Silence.
 Elijah locked up, reconciling the worlds.
 He stared and Steve read his thoughts. “I can’t play football anymore.” His shoulders sank at the confession. It hurt telling his mother, his coach, strange how it hurt telling a stranger. Arcadia-Oaks knew Steve to be the man. He posted on Instagram and Facebook constantly with updates and accomplishments. That was before the accident. He let everyone assume he was swept up in college magic, too busy to post. Eli too, had been under that spell.
 “It’s hard.” He answered for him. “And…I’m sorry, dude.” He laughed tight and forced. What had he belittled Eli about? A nerd unable to play ball? This was fucking Karma. “I’m sorry.” The apology came quicker and heavy, taking several breathes from him. “I’m really, fucking sorry.” He called Elijah a cocksucker. All his fears and denials were easy to beat on someone smaller. He couldn’t fight a thought, but he could terrorize a human.
 “Steve, hey man, that’s history. Are-” His lips flapped closed, Elijah nearly asked the same question. Steve was not okay, not even alright. Elijah had time to recover, distance between them had shown him the greatness that awaited him. Hours away from Arcadia was practically the other side of the world. Yet here Steve was, just on the other side of campus.
 “Are you busy tonight?” Elijah asked the unaskable. Steve gawked. Was he hearing him right?
 “What?”
 “What?” Elijah repeated, “I’d like to catch up. With Steve, not Argentina.”
 Warmth bubbled in the back of Steve’s throat. Elijah was always this good, once it made him hate him! Now he wanted his number even more. What sort of person could face their once bully head on? Steve looked at his watch, Elijah’s eyes were too much. They scrutinized and wondered.
“In two hours.”
“Cool. I’ll have my homework done by then.”
“Cool.”
It was not cool, busying himself around the shop, around Elijah. Any by standers wandering in he hoped they steered clear of Eli’s section. He didn’t want to go over and clean up. No way Elijah would mind, it was part of Steve’s job! But Steve minded. He minded a lot. It was too soon, what were they supposed to talk about? Eli’s favorite drink? The way Steve switched between hearts and smiley faces on the dot over the I? He wanted to be obvious. He wanted Elijah’s number—all when he was someone else. Argentina. Not Palchuk.
 Steve joined Elijah outside, wearing a burgundy school hoodie. The Batman symbol glowed on Elijah’s chest. Adorable. Perfect. His eyes flicked away, Elijah moving the straps on his backpack had to be a signal. “So,” What was he supposed to say.
 “Creepslayerz?” Steve had noticed the decal before, he had not realized there were three. All the same exact font.
 “My band.” Elijah grinned, he started them walking ahead, following the sidewalks under the yellow street lights.
 “You have a band? You, Elijah Pepperjack?” In high school Elijah had been into theatre. They bumped shoulders when Steve applied for the leading role—just for a kiss—more of anything to piss Jim off.
 “I do. I help write music. We actually have a light show,” Elijah pointed to himself. His shoulders rocked from side to side, a proud shuffle. “Designed that myself. Helps working as a stage hand for the school plays.” Steve could see that. The technical stuff, he doubted the band had much ground to it, but what would Elijah be able to do with a real budget?
 “So you help write the music? You don’t preform…?”
 “Sometimes. But Krel is really the face of the band. Aja too. She’s our hypeman.” Dancer, number one fan, Krel’s sister so she might as well be in the band. Her position only stayed unofficial to prevent a guilt trip commitment. Aja was president of the robotics club and treasurer of the international club. Her time was divided and the duo didn’t want to keep her.
 “Claire inspire you, huh?”
 Elijah pulled a tight face. Not really, Claire was great and they were on similar paths but completely different styles. He hadn’t talked to her in ages.
 “Krel and Aja though, huh?”
 “Transfer students from Cantalupa.”
 “Well that sounds made up.”
 “Yeah well, I think Krel makes up a lot of things. Then makes it real when you’re not looking, so I just go with it.” His smile grew, his eyes looked beyond one foot in front of the other, a place of fondness. A place where Steve wasn’t.
 “You two close?”
 “Yeah, I mean, we’re friends. Roommates freshman year, roommates now.”
 Steve nodded. He missed out on three years, four years before that, and more before that. “How come you’re not in the paranormal club?”
 Elijah looked to Steve, a grin growing, “you know I’m not?”
 “Well. I just. I’m in it so—”
 “You? You’re in it?” Elijah shook his head, no way! Not Steve!
 Steve grinned, doubt, everyone doubted that fact. “Yes way, Eli. I like. The spooky shit. The strange. All the junk you used to go on and on about.”
 “You’re serious?”
 “As the plague.”
 Elijah covered his mouth, his smile too big for a lame joke.
 “Why? You didn’t believe in it, do you now?”
 “Aliens? No. Chupacabras—we’ve had some heated discussions and have come to agree they’re racoons. Which, then they say Aliens are real. They’re left by aliens. I just say the Chupa—” Steve reeled himself in. He straightened his shoulders and quickened his walk. “Ghosts, yeah.”
 “Trolls?” Elijah’s stride double to meet Steve’s walk.
 “Haven’t met one yet.” Steve looked at him, letting the suggestion sink in.
 “So you’ve seen a ghost?”
 “Mhm. Well. I mean other than you tonight.” Another lame joke, Steve’s laugh was tight and Elijah’s exuberant.
 “That is so wicked cool! Are you guys going on any hunts?” He bounced up and down, hopping in front of Steve, completely serious.
 “Are you serious?”
 Elijah nodded and tugged on his backpack.
 “I mean yeah, it’s October. We always get fair-weather attendees so you coming won’t be a problem.”
 He groaned and spun on his feet, he couldn’t believe the club was active! Discussions and ghost hunts! “I never joined because I joined international club, thanks to Krel and Aja. Then there was the band, I got a job at one of the computer labs.” Matching his schedule to a half-interested club where he’d be nitpicked was not on the to-do list. College was going to be the change, no longer the nerd hiding in the closet. Really, he’d been missing on the chance to share his passion.
 “Alright, okay, so you’ll invite me?” Eli let his words hands, his hands wiggled a neon green phone case. Oh. Oh—shit! He was about to score the number, “Um-uh,” He stuttered, smiling and laughing at himself. His hands patted his front pockets, his back and dipped into his hoodie pockets.
 “Phew,” His phone stuck against his hand, he was actually sweating. “What’s your number?” He typed as quick as he sent Elijah a text. Immediately Elijah replied with a ‘got it!’ Not like Steve was literally standing there.
 ‘Dork’ Steve texted.
 ‘Thought you were more of a butt-snack type of guy?’ Elijah watched Steve read, smirking when his lips curled into a smile.
 “Okay, now we’re getting into full sentences. I can’t walk and type.”
 “We’re standing still,” Elijah gestured around them. “Wow Steve, first night back together and already leaving me hanging? Impressive.”
 ‘Now you’re a butt snack’ He added an emoji of a peach, Elijah bumped their shoulders together. “I’m kidding.”
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x4f0wrcg-blog · 5 years
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Are any eye exams covered under regular health insurance?
Are any eye exams covered under regular health insurance?
Yea, that s what the member services people said. That it was an eye problem, thus would be covered. But then wouldn t the initial visit with the doctor, wherein the eye problem was investigated and determined to be an eye problem, be covered as well? I guess it just makes no sense to me that the initial visit wouldn t be covered under eye problem-ness. lol
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