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#and now i want to make some concepts for her mods and ports
bangast · 4 years
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“And then you realize. There’s something missing, that long black braid that used to snake down her back is gone, removed, leaving Ortega’s hair shorter, bouncier, unable to stay in place. You don’t think you’ve ever really watched the nape of her neck before, the way the ports along her spine disappear into the undershirt.”
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antagonistchan · 3 years
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god
fucking
DAMN
Mass Effect Legendary Edition is so fucking good
i’m not gonna go so far as to say it’s the only way you should ever play these games again. i think it’s the best way to play them, especially if you’ve never played them before. but the originals still have value if you’re a Mass Effect superfan like me.
Legendary Edition 1 fixes a lot of the clunkiness that the original ME1 had. this is mostly a good thing.... but also, that clunkiness had a certain charm, and i absolutely want to revisit it on occasion.
i don’t know much about LE2. i haven’t experienced much of it myself. if i had to guess, i’d say LE2 is probably the only one that outright obsolesces the original; everything looks way better, and ME2 didn’t have much clunky charm to it to begin with. but of course, OG ME2 inherently just still has value since you’d want to import from ME1 and to ME3.
and then from what i’ve heard, LE3 is largely identical to the original ME3, just with AI-upscaled textures (which makes sense, even by modern standards OG ME3 is a really good-looking and graphically impressive game). this’d also make it the definitive way to play ME3... if it weren’t for the fact that it removed the multiplayer, and the multiplayer is still really good. i fucking adore ME3 multiplayer. and the fact that it came out in 2012 does it a lot of favors, because that’s when studios were just starting to experiment and test the waters with lootbox mechanics. back then, lootboxes were still an unproven concept, studios didn’t know if they could get away with them, so they weren’t as disgusting as they are in modern games. honestly, if it weren’t for the mere presence of microtransactions (which are inherently exploitative), i’d say ME3′s lootboxes do more good than harm. i’d actually honestly recommend new fans pick up the original ME3 (it’s pretty cheap these days anyways) just so they can experience the multiplayer. don’t touch the microtransactions, just use the in-game currency. there’s enough of it to reasonably get new lootboxes regularly, don’t worry.
all that, and the fact that there are mods for the original trilogy that haven’t come out for the Legendary trilogy.... yet. but i’ve heard for a fact that the Expanded Galaxy Mod- the ME3 mod- is getting ported over, and i’d imagine a lot of the other essential mods (like the ones that re-implement the gay versions of Ashley, Kaidan (ME1), Tali, and Thane’s romances) will also eventually make their way over. so that’s only an issue for now.
but enough about the original trilogy still having value, let’s talk Legendary Edition.
for some background: the Mass Effect trilogy is collectively my favorite game of all time. i replay the entire thing at least once a year, and i have since i first got the trilogy collection on PS3 in 2013. so i fucking know these games like the back of my hand. i can basically play them in my head. and it’s especially true for ME1, since it’s the first one (and thus, if i start a playthrough and don’t finish it, i’ll at least have seen ME1) and also imo the best one (just to clarify though, while i AM a “Mass Effect 1 is the best Mass Effect” person, i’m NOT a “Mass Effect 1 is the only good Mass Effect” person; i’m actually one of those weirdos who genuinely loves ME3, and i honestly hold equal amounts of affection for both, with ME2 not far behind).
and god.
i’m just constantly finding myself blown away by how good Legendary Edition 1 looks.
even on the ultra-high graphics settings, OG ME1 looks super rough in a LOT of ways. i think OG ME1 is a good-looking game, for sure, but it’s a testament to how a good art style can salvage a game with garbage graphics. ME1 only looks good because the style they were going for is so unique and beautiful. the actual graphical capabilities? it’s bad even by 2007 standards, and imo 2007 was the worst year for video game graphics since the N64-PS1 days. games from 2007 almost universally look super weak now.
but here....... god. everything looks so good and intense and sharp and detailed.
the Mass Relays are a standout. they looked cool in the original, but god they’re so beautiful now. i’m constantly finding myself thinking “jesus i really understand what Tali means when she talks about how Quarians appreciate the aesthetic value of the Mass Relays”.
there have only been two major annoyances i’ve had so far:
the dumb Femshep redesign is still dumb after all these years, and when they announced New Femshep could actually work in LE1/2 now, i was really hoping they’d also do the reverse with Old Femshep, and.... only kinda. when you go to customize Femshep’s appearance, the first preset it tries to go to does actually look a lot like the old default, even moreso than what you’d get if you tried to import ME1/2 Femshep into ME3 (that was actually a bit of a pleasant surprise). but it’s still not perfectly like her. they outright removed the old default hairstyle. it was already baffling when they removed it from OG ME3, it’s even more baffling now. that used to be the default, why is it not even an option anymore UGHHH
they STILL haven’t fixed the menus. i’m used to these games on PS3 and only migrated to PC last year, and god, navigating the menus is a pain with mouse and keyboard. if you want to back out of a menu, you have to either hit “escape” (which is in the corner of your keyboard) or click a tiny little button in the corner of the screen. it’d be so great if you could just back out of a menu by right-clicking or something, like how on PS3 you could back out of a menu by hitting the circle button. i know Legendary Edition also finally fixed the controller support on PC, but when i migrated to PC, i realized i did actually prefer mouse and keyboard for actual gameplay. it’s just the menus that suck with mouse and keyboard.
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human-enthusiast · 4 years
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One Piece “isms” - #1
--Episode 2/ Chapters 3 + 4
Theme: Abusive Authority
Details: When Luffy and Coby dock in a town named Shells Town, they quickly learn about their troubles with authority. The mention of Roronoa Zoro and Marine Captain Morgan’s name expels fear in the citizens for some similar reasons. Later, after meeting the Pirate Hunter tied to a post, they learn about Morgan’s tyrant ruling over people. Specifically, those that openly defy his rules and authority, treating them like inhumane scum.
Characteristics:
1. Authoritarian Leadership - (Dictatorship quality)
2. Inferiority (Superiority) Complex
3. Obsession with “treacheries”, insubordination, or lack of power over even small matters.
4. Alignment: Lawful Evil
5. Unfair imprisonment - Zoro and the existence of a Crucifixion Yard.
Very early on in the series, we have, what I would describe as a mild introduction to certain conflicts the protagonists face. Now whether or not you ever watch movies or read books centered around pirates, it’s common sense to know they are enemies to the world’s government(s).
It’s not to say pirates don’t have their own form of government or authority -- any society or civilization has one that was structured around those who first joined-- but they separated themselves from the one governed by kings/queens/emperors/ or anyone who governs with written or traditional laws.
So, if being introduced to a character, who begins his journey as a pirate, we would expect his enemy to be the Marines right off the bat.
Not so unusual. Luffy has shown to have a gray morality or chaotic neutral personality, but this isn’t well defined until way later on. He does what he wants, with a mindset that says ‘consequences be damned’. That is pretty much his motto at this point. That being said, the opposite to what Luffy’s side of the story represents would be lawful and justice.
Captain Morgan is actually the first official Marine we see in the series. By that, I mean he’s the first one actually named and given a personality to judge on. Though technically, Helmeppo would be the first to be seen, but it’s his father whose been alluded to since they arrived. Right off the bat, they both show case the worst possible outcome of authorities: power trips, abusing the system, respect is demanded, and rules are absolute.
Both the anime and manga illustrate Morgan’s delusions of control and megalomaniac personality quite well, and how Helmeppo thrives in it by hand-me-down powers.
Something to note, I just started reading the manga, but I have watched the anime for a few years now (English dub), and I’m now just starting the Dressrosa arc. While the anime is good (not perfect) at adapting from the manga, there are more intriguing details to me that do better in narrating the story (at least with the first few chapters).
Here the manga shows tax exploitations:
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Some are fairly easy to miss, but the walls and metal gate show signs of poor treatment, or degradation. The anime does something similar with the gate, having more advantage with coloring:
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The door used to have what I believe was a darker green color. But now it’s rusted fairly much, even a little on the hinges, and the paint for the symbols looks a little faded. Now, this may just be a way to give texture to surfaces, which is initially true and what I thought when I first watched/read the series. However, the kicker we learn is a little ways after.
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It’s explained that the people are under heavy taxation to the point that it depletes a living wage for everyone. Morgan refers to the people as peasants, so he’s clearly aware of their indigent state. It would explain a little about the state of everything and how he could’ve paid for the erected statue of himself.
The red-circled speech bubbles are especially important, and I think highlight Morgan’s character. It’s my favorite detail with him. I’m not saying I like the character all around; if I ever meet someone like this, I’d probably pull a Luffy and straight take a swing at their throat/junk (although I tend to think of the consequences, so I’d more likely take a legal/other direct action if need be).
No, it’s just...characters with this kind of mindset are fun to observe and explain.
There’s another character that is like a mirror image from this Marine: Azula from Avatar: The Last Airbender.
Both are high ranking members of their society, wealthy, completely power hungry, apathetic, and fear inducing to their subjects. There are plenty of complications with Azula, but it definitely shows in her first introduction and later on in Season 3 when she has a psychological break down.
Direct conversation from Season 2 Episode 1:
[Ship Captain]: “Princess, I’m afraid the tides will not allow us to bring the ship into port before nightfall.”
[Azula]: “I’m sorry, captain, but I do not know much about the tides. Can you explain something to me?”
[Captain]: “Of course, your highness.”
[Azula]: “Do the tides command this ship?”
[Captain]: “I’m afraid I don’t understand.”
[Azula]: “You said the tides would not allow us to bring the ship in. Do the tides command this ship?”
[Captain]: “No, princess.”
[Azula]: “And if I were to have you thrown overboard, would the tides think twice about smashing you against the rocky shore?”
[Captain]: “No, princess.”
[Azula]: “Well, then maybe you should worry less about the tides, who have already made up their mind about killing you, and worry more about me, who’s still mulling it over.”
I included the exchange between her, the bat-shit crazy royal, and the captain, who has better acknowledgement of the forces of nature, because it’s fairly similar to the exchange between Morgan and the marine he’s talking to about the people’s wealth. The marine and captain regard their authority’s title, and probably have similar worries over their inability to reason maturely.
Any good villain can be vindictive, selfish, and have no regard for others (a lack of empathy), but the one underlining similarity is their negligence with reality. And in order to get like that, there is a deep obsession with control.
Azula wants to disregard nature, specifically ocean tides, rather than change her course and plan. This is a frightening aspect because of her complete ignorance on the mod of reality. She wants to maintain control of her ship, and she is very much willing to sacrifice the safety of others just to feel superior.
While Morgan also wants to keep an iron fist over the citizens. He has this more monetary greed, spending it more in lavish purposes for him and his son. He’s a little more aware of the fact that the people don’t have much money, but to him, it’s no excuse to pay the taxes in full. There’s absolutely no regard for other matters in reality, that including personal finance.
The obstacles or personal matters of those “below” him fly over his head. Because what he believes to be a level of respect is absolute obedience. I almost have no doubt that if Luffy and Coby never made it to Shells Town, it may undergone an actual dictatorship like life. When the people have seemingly ran out of money, an alternative subjection-- or showcase of loyalty--probably would have been enslavement and unpaid labor. Assuming that the money Morgan and Helmeppo spend remains on the island at a high fixation.
Maybe that’s too extreme and would also have economic downfall on the Marines as well, but I wouldn’t put it pass Morgan to come up with anymore extreme ideas.
One other similarity with Azula and Morgan is the insane notion of loyalty. This mental state is compromised more with Azula during the final episodes. At that point, she is given the responsibility of being Fire Lord, and with it, comes absolute hysterics and paranoia about maintaining control over everyone. The slightest missteps from her servants enacts a banishment for them, leaving less people to remain under her control. This may have also been a product of Mei and Ty Lee’s betrayal in the Boiling Rock Part 2 episode, completely warping her sense of trust.
There isn’t much known about Morgan before he was head of the Marine Base that is explanatory of his own behavior, but he has the same obsession over the concept of loyalty and traitors. Whether the actions are from citizens or his own subordinates, there is no excuse for anyone to disobey him. Hell, he found it perfectly acceptable to kill a marine who accidently bumped a part of his statue, that probably didn’t do anything minor to it.
That being said, he has no room to let anyone ignore his orders. When the Lieutenant was ordered to kill Rika because she helped Zoro while tied up, he refused. In response, Morgan went for the kill (he’s very much alive in the anime).
He and Helmeppo also show case this behavior in ways that are actually more foreshadowing for later arcs.
In the manga:
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The citizens are bowing as the brat saunters by all high and mighty. This is the earliest render of how Celestial Dragons are introduced. While maybe this isn’t necessarily required for the Marine official, it’s more of a by-product on fear-induced situations. A psychological reaction if anything.
The other foreshadowing is the distinction of what the Marines and the World Government consider justice. What is right to them means following the laws-- obedience and purity are absolute. That’s a whole other topic in of itself. But it sets up the fight that Luffy finds himself in with the Marine. Morgan thinks he’s wrong and worthless, fighting on the grounds while yelling “I am Marine Captain “Ax-Hand” Morgan!”
Names carry power. Titles govern rank and superiority. Morgan believes this should be enough to make Luffy crumble over. It’s not. This is a revelation that goes beyond what someone holds in status. And thus, making Morgan a rather incompetent leader.
It’s also rather ironic how, with their battle, it’s very black and white in terms of morality, and the side that views what’s right is on the ‘wrong’ side (pirates). Pirates aren’t lawfully good, or very empathetic. That’s usually not their objective during the Pirate Era. However, if a group of pirates fight against a base leader, and as a result, creates a more balanced, sustainable life for the citizens in the end, there is something drastically wrong with the authority system.
Morgan really sets up as one of the first Marine antagonists, and it’s done using underlining characteristics of higher powers in more tame situations. What one fight could fix within an hour or two, would take more or less years to handle further along in the Grand Line. What One Piece offers is a focus with a type of matter that resurfaces again with different opponents.
~*~*~*~*~*
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the members with a very clingy pregnant s/o that constantly wants to cuddle
I’m tempted to just make Sam another mod for this blog because she does so much shit for me, you guys wouldn’t believe
Enjoy!
Xemnas
This pregnancy was hard on Xemnas and he wasn’t even the one carrying the baby. Creating another vessel, as his s/o proposed the idea, seemed like an amazing concept in theory. However, months later, after it’s much too late to go back on his choice, he finds that the concept of making another human being was a lot more complex than he realized.  His s/o is always emotional and crying and demanding food that can only be found on some far off world, which meant that he had to send one of the other members to fetch it for him.  Honestly, how hard could it possibly be to find oysters in Port Royal?
The hardest part of the whole situation was that she never wanted to be alone. When it was just the two of them, Xemnas found it easy enough to just slip away and conduct his business, then come home as he pleased, but now he found himself most days sitting next to his s/o on a couch and doing all of his work there while his spare hand is gently scratching the young woman’s head. Some nights the two would just sit and talk of the days activities, and sometimes they would just sit in silence or play a record to listen to.
Either way, she seemed to be happy with the arrangement they had and it was quite common for her to fall asleep with a little silence in a quiet room together.  And when she was asleep, Xemnas found himself watching her. Maybe it was natural instinct, but watching her sleep brought him a sense of ease. The Superior could help a small smile. The poor thing was a trooper, he could easily see how tired carrying this child made her. But she did it for him. The white haired man turned down and placed a kiss on the sleeping woman’s head before returning to his work and enjoying the soft music playing in the room. This trial was one they would get through together.
Xigbar
Aw No. She was crying again. She did that a lot lately. Hormones or something.  He didn’t know why she was crying but god did he hate it when she cried. It felt shitty. So shitty.
“Aw babe… Don’t - don’t cry. Please.” Xigbar was so bad with emotions and shit like this and ever since his s/o got pregnant, the emotional workload has been a lot higher for him. Does he regret it? no. Not one bit. But it was… hard. She was sitting on the bed, weeping into a pillow and watching a movie on the television. Apparently the dog had died and it was just too much for her.
Xigbar sat on the edge of the bed next to her and she immediately moved to cling to him. Apparently she just felt the need for contact.  He sighed, wrapped an arm around her shoulder, pulled her into his chest, and placed a kiss on her forehead.  “Better?” He asked.
The girl nodded as she placed a kiss on the sharpshooters scarred cheek and cuddled closer, returning her attentions to the movie. Even as they say there, Xigbar’s hand moved to the girls swollen tummy. She was having his baby; something he never in all of his plans expected to happen. It was something he had to get used to at first, but this was something he was willing to take one day at a time though the though that there would a child of his running around terrified him at times. If it wasn’t her; he probably would have been good as gone.  If you told that he would have been here one day, holding the girl he cares about more than anyone in all the worlds, who was big with his baby no less, he would have said they were on some hard shit.
He kissed his love on the cheek again. If this kid comes out anything like her, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.
Xaldin
The large man had once, long ago, before everything, dreamed of having a family; a little wife for him to care for and protect along with the patter of little feet.  He never told anyone this, of course, that would be ridiculous, but he still found himself thinking about his little fantasy in times of strife. Even still, the lancer knew those dreams were unrealistic. Real love was for fools. But now, even as that dream was almost a reality, he still didn’t believe it.  Here he sat, out on a small bench in Radiant Garden, looking up at the stars with his little wife nestled up against him, and her belly growing larger with each passing day with his child. It was almost too good to be true.
Now that the sun had gone down, it was as if Radiant Gardens had frozen in time. All of the town was asleep and all that could be heard was the soft breeze rustling through the trees. Xaldin could feel his little wife shiver from the breeze. “Are you cold?” He asked as he looked down at her.
“A bit, but don’t worry about me.“ The girl smiled. She was always like this, wishing not to be a burden. She was the type to rather suffer than be a bother to anyone, but Xaldin knew what to do. In a graceful movement, the dark-haired man reached one arm behind her back and the other beneath her knees and lifted the girl up gently onto his lap before wrapping his arms around her.
“Is that better?” His little wife nothing as she leaned in her head to rest on Xaldin’s shoulder before giving him a kiss on the cheek and making a soft hum of approval. That was enough to say yes.  The two sat in silence once again, looking at the sky above them as the stars twinkled in the sky. This world, the one he knew in his past life, was one that always brought him ease.  After a moment, the lancer couldn’t help but place a hand on her swollen belly, something he never thought he would be able to feel in this life of his. How did he even deserve anything close to this? She hummed contentedly as he kept her warm before speaking.
“Here.” She reached up and moved Xaldin’s hand to another part of her belly. “He’s kicking. Feel.” And not a moment later, he felt it; the little foot pressing itself against her belly and into the palm of his hand. And it was as if for a moment, the stars that were in the sky were in the lancer’s heart instead, almost feeling a light inside of him that he hadn’t felt in eons. He smiled and pressed a kiss to his little wife’s cheek before holding her closer to him.
“Our baby is a fighter.” he couldn’t help but let his smile grow to a full grin.
“Just like his Daddy.” She smiled, kissing her husband back, but on his lips.
How did he deserve such bliss?
Vexen
Was this expected? No. Definitely not. But what also was not expected was how well the Scientist would take to the news. As soon as the initial shock wore off, the man acted as if he was a father for years. Piles of prenatal vitamins and books of research littered the counter tops, and  don’t even start on letting her do any manual labor. Vexen keeps calling on Lexaeus to help her with any and all laborious tasks. It was a little overbearing but she knew that her partner only wanted the best for her and this baby.
The only thing the scientist didn’t expect was her need for his attention and company. At first it was very difficult for the spindly man, unable to get to work without her incessant crying for his affection, but soon enough a solution was found by turning an older and unused portion of the lab into a place where his little spouse could sit and be out of harms way. This was not HIS choice of course, but the rest of the organization insisted that to keep the pregnant woman happy  was to throw away the old/broken machines and failed experiments Vexen hoarded back there and make it into a place where the only one that had to ‘deal’ with all her problems was Vexen.
As time went by, the scientist started to like the company and knowing that his partner was here and safe at all times was a good benefit. Sometimes, when he was waiting for results or letting a machine run its course, the scientist likes to come down to her little sitting corner and stop for a moment. Before her, he would never have even thought of doing such a thing, but maybe having a child of his own was starting to make him settle down more.
He sat next to her and gave the woman a kiss on her hand as he did so. “How are you feeling today? No complications?” The scientists green eyes scanned over her as he spoke, almost wary.
She couldn’t help but laugh. “Yes yes. Everything is fine. You worry too much, Vexen. If anything were wrong, I would have told you already.” As the scientist settled into the seat beside her, the woman nestled herself into the spindly man. He must not be comfortable, but she still seemed content.
The scientist let out a tired sigh as she pushed herself into him, reaching an arm around the girls waist. As he did, the blondes long fingers brushed against the girls ever growing middle. She was still only midway but the poor thing was tired more often than not. Raising Ienzo had given the scientist a feel for what it was like to be a parent, but this was the part that was unfamiliar. Was this normal? Was she okay? The books seemed to indicate yes, but that still didn’t assuage his worries. Sitting in the silence as he held her close to him, Vexen would often let worries like this take over his talented mind.
But as the worries clouded his thoughts, Vexen was brought back when he saw his partner’s eyes looking up at him in concern. Even with all of these changes, she still found it in her heart to worry about someone like him. And from that look, something in him just cleared, for even just a moment, the scientist knew everything was going to be okay. “Alright.. I think that enough work has been done for the day…” The scientist sighed as he rose to his feet, then turning and placing a hand out to his partner. “How about we go home and make some dinner? What are you in the mood for?”
The girl smiled and took her love’s hand, using him to help her up onto her feet. Standing became difficult when there was a mass the size of a watermelon inside of you. “Ohhh you shouldn’t ask a pregnant woman what she’s hungry for.” she laughed. “It could be anything.”
“Well,” The scientist smiled. “Maybe I am willing to take that risk.” And as the two walked back up to their quarters, Vexen did something he hadn’t done foe quite some time; he grinned to himself on how great this new experiment could be.
Lexaeus
Lexaeus is so ready to be a dad. He loved raising Ienzo so much and when he found out you were having this baby, the man couldn’t help but be happy. It was hard for him to show it of course, but his partner knew just by his actions. For the last few months, The large man was home from missions faster than ever before, so eager to get home and see her, sometimes even before the sun was close to setting.  Coming through the door to their quarters in the castle and being greeted by her smiling face was probably his favorite part of the day.
Looking up from her chair, her smile went wide the moment her eyes met his. She almost jumped as she rose from her chair to meet him. “Welcome home!” She grinned. “How was your mission? Do you need anything? I can start on dinner!” She was so excitable. It was something the hero loved about her.
“Please.. “ He needed to choose his words carefully. “Today was good. Good work to be done. But you need to rest. For the Baby.” Heh. The baby. That thought alone gave him a little thrill.
“Oh you worry too much! It’s still early. I’m barely showing and I can still do a lot. And I can’t help myself if I missed you.” As she spoke, the large man couldn’t help but look at the bump that had only started to show. “I wish you didn’t have to go so much, but I know you can’t help it.”
Lexaeus felt the same way, and he knew he couldn’t do much to change that. But sometimes he knew how to make it up to her. In one effortless motion, the silent hero swooped his beloved into his arms and started to carry her to the bathroom, placing her down only to draw a warm bath. 
After their bath, Lexaeus helped his beloved to their couch and wrapped her gently in the blankets she loved most before sitting down next to her. When they had what little time together they could find, Lexaeus found himself only wanting to hold her close to him. Paternal instincts maybe? Either way, he didn’t mind. She snuggled herself into him more as he held her close. The two sat in silence for a while, listening to the soft rain that pitted against the window of the castle. In the calming silence, the man whispered.
“I can’t wait… to meet them..” The man smiled as he placed his large hand on her tiny one resting on her stomach.
She smiled and gave him a kiss on the side of his face. “They can’t wait to meet you either. I just know it.”
Zexion
Zexion and his SO had been together for a while. They loved each other quite a lot, and knew they could take on anything together. But Zexion finding out his love was pregnant, well it was more than a shock for him. The boy was not a child anymore, but he didn’t think he was quite ready for kids just yet.
Of course, when fate makes those choices for you, you need to become ready. Zexion immediately stepped up to the challenge. He worked hard to get what was needed and did what needed to be done. Sometimes that meant doing extra tasks around to Organization, and sometimes that meant working on longer missions but the boy worked hard. This also meant getting home to his beloved later than he wanted to. She would always wait up for him, saying it was unfair to expect him to do the work. She always had a good meal on the table waiting and as small as it was, the boy found it was the thing he was most thankful for.
After the meal was eaten and the dishes were done, the two liked to spend what little time was left in the day laying on their bed together, Reading books. Zexion would usually be the one readings as she laid her head on his chest, listening to his voice.As he read, Zexion could sense his dear love falling asleep. He knew that as time went on, staying up this late became more and more difficult for her. The girl was growing a life, it was no easy task, but these moments were the ones he treasured most.
“I think that’s enough reading for tonight…”  Zexion closed his book and placed it down on the nightstand next to him, the movement rousing the girl from near-sleep.
“Nnnh? Aw, no… I was listening, I swear - I…” She yawned again.
“Sure you were. Either way, Bed time.” Reaching over, Zexion turned off the lamp on the nightstand and the room went black. In the darkness, the scholar turned to himself back to his S/O and wrapped his arms around her growing belly. They often slept like this, comforted by each other in sleep. The only problem was that he knew he had to leave her again at dawn, but for now, he took all of her in.
As much as this baby was going to be a large trial, the idea that in a few months he was going to be a dad gave Zexion a tingle of excitement. This was something he wanted to be one day, and while it was much sooner than he expected, he still was excited to be with the woman he loved and that she was having his baby.
The boy placed a kiss on her shoulder, it was clear she was already asleep, but it didn’t matter. The scholar knew that all of this hard work would be worth it when their little one would arrive. And it was going to be amazing.
Saix
Something about seeing his partner waddling around the castle, heavy with his child, gave Saix a burst of masculine pride every time he saw her. The pregnancy had been tough so far but the Diviner was confident in his abilities as a guardian that things would be alright. This, however, didn’t stop him from guarding over the mother of his child like a hawk at all hours. She never left his side, and didn’t mind his concern, but when he started getting protective over who she spoke with was where things started to get hairy. There had to be a conversation about how Demyx was too afraid to approach her anymore, something to do with the glares and threats he was receiving? Either way, it took a lot of reasoning and argument before she was able to even see her friends again.
But even after the discussion, hedidn’t want to leave anything to risk. His s/o was top priority, first and foremost. So most times, she still stayed by her lover’s side. Missions quickly were taken off of her agenda and were replaced with time resting and eating properly. But when he was finished with assigning missions and answering to Lord Xemnas, Saix spent the free time he made to tend to his ever growing mate. This child was not quite planned, but when plans change, you need to make changes accordingly.
This morning, like most others, she waited on one of the many leather love-seats in the Gray Area while Saix assigned the morning missions. Usually, she was able to stay awake through the morning, but today as Saix looked over his shoulder to check on her, he found that she had fallen back asleep on the sofa. As the last of the other members left to other worlds to complete their missions, Saix made his way to the couch. For a moment he just watched her sleep, the steady rising and falling of her chest bringing him a sense of calm. She was supposed to be nothing to him. He was a nobody. He was supposed to feel nothing. But what would explain his need to protect this person? He may never know. What he did know was that priorities change.
Lifting her head briefly, the diviner sat down on the couch and placed her head back down on his lap. At least won’t be as harmful to her neck. As she slept, the blue-haired man brought a hand to her head, tangled his fingers in her hair, and gently rubbed her head with the tips of her fingers. She liked that. The girl let out a contented sigh soundly asleep. The two sat like this for a while; maybe 15 minutes. Maybe 30. Eventually, his partner roused from her slumber.
“Nnnngh…” she sighed as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes. Looking up and seeing her beloved, she smiled. “Hey, you…. Done already?” 
“Yes… All done.” His expression softened as he spoke. “Nothing left to do today until the others return… In the meantime, are you hungry? I can make something to eat.”
“Hmmm… That does sound nice, but… Can we just stay like this a while?” She asked, reaching a hand up and tucking a stray lock of blue behind the Diviner’s ear. “Its not very often I have such a handsome pillow.”
“Alright. If that is what you wish.” Saix replied as his love made herself comfortable on his lap again, closing her eyes and letting out a contented sigh. The diviner continued running his fingers through the girls hair and gently massaged the top of hair. As crazy as it all was, sometimes moments of serenity could be found.
As they sat in silence, Saix found himself looking out the window to the moon. Who could expect this turn of events? The fearsome Saix, the Lunar Diviner, gently holding a maiden in his lap who was carrying his child? No one certainly..  And then his gaze drifted down to her.. Sleeping safely in his lap, unafraid of the monster that he was. Maybe.. If someone like her could love him, then he could be an alright father to his child.
Axel
It was another long day, doing questionable tasks for an organization that had both given Axel everything and taken almost all of it away. But at least now he was able to return home to the one thing he knew was his and his alone. Coming through the door to their shared quarters made him feel like one of the husbands in those old 1950’s tv shows.
“I’m home!” Axel called out into the room. The redhead waited a moment, but when no reply came, worry took over, running to the kitchen, bathroom, every room, but found nothing. Worry quickly turned to fear as his searching became more rushed and panicked.
And then, in the bedroom, there she was, asleep on the bed with a pillow stuffed between her knees. Axel let out a sigh of relief as he dropped to the bedside, moving the stray hair from her face, and placing a kiss on his beloved’s head. The girl scrunched her face in reaction before slowly rousing from sleep, her eyes meeting his large green ones.
“Oh, welcome home…” She smiled before letting out a big yawn. “I missed you…” The redhead smiled and placed a hand on her swollen tummy. He never got tired of doing it, and every time he did, he felt a flurry of excitement. “I missed you, too… Were you two good while I was gone?”
Oh man.. Someone needs to tell this baby that kicking me all day and night is not funny… It’s definitely your little prankster in there. No one else keeps me awake more than you.”
Axel broke into a grin and kissed her neck, giving a teasing nibble to her ear.  “Oh, is that so? I think that attitude of yours is how we got into this predicament in the first place.” He placed another big kiss on her cheek before moving down to his beloved’s big belly. “You hear that, Baby? Keeping your mom awake is my job. You need to cool it. Got it memorized?”
“Oh thank goodness the kicking stopped…” she sighed in relief, placing a hand through her husbands bright red mane. “You have a way with kids, Axel, I swear…”
“Well, I really hope so. For this kid’s sake, at least.“ He rose from her belly and sat beside her on the bed, staring down at his hand over her stomach.
“Axel… You’re gonna be great.  Don’t worry just yet,” she sat up with a little wiggle, and placed a kiss on the young man’s cheek before nuzzling into the crook of his neck. The redhead kept his one hand on her stomach as the other wrapped itself over her shoulder and around her. 
Yeah… They were going to get through this together. Somehow.
Demyx
“Oh Come On! Come On! One more song!” Demyx whined to his love as he started to strum on his sitar. He looked up longingly at his beloved from where he was sitting on the floor. “You know music is good for the baby, and so is listening to voices outside! I just want to sing one more…”
“Alright alright fine. one more… As good as music is, sleep is important, too” She yawned as she rocked in her chair, the one her sweet little Demyx got Lexaeus to carry up for them earlier that day.
The boy gleamed as he started to play soft notes on his sitar, singing a soft song he learned in one of the worlds his recent missions took him to.  “Baby mine, don’t you cry. Baby mine, dry your eyes. Rest your head close to my heart, never to part, baby of mine.”
“How was that? Think the baby will like it?”  he asked, the light still sparkling in his eyes.
She chuckled. “It was perfect, Dem. They’re gonna love it… Now, can you help me up? We need to rest.”
The boy rose to his feet and held a hand out to help her back out of the chair. The girl rose to her feet with a wobble, but quickly gained her footing. She was finally starting to get the hang of her balance with her new big belly. The two made it to the bedroom without any problems and laid down in the bed, his arm quick to wrap around her and pull into him. The two sat on the bed a moment looking up at the ceiling, each lost in thought.
“I am so excited to be a dad…” The musician mused, almost to himself. “Like at first, this was so scary. Well, It’s still kinda scary, but now I’m kinda excited for it? I know it’s gonna be hard but.. For the first time, I’m looking forward to the hard work.”  The girl looked over at Demyx with mock surprise.
“Did I just hear the Melodious Nocturne, Demyx, King of Avoiding Missions, just say that he wanted to do hard work? Who are you and what have you done with my boyfriend?” She poked fun, but it was true. He did. “No, really! I think it’s because I want to be a good dad… But I want to be the best I can be…”
And with that admission, the girl smiled, placing a gentle hand on the musicians cheek and pulling him into a small kiss.
“Well.. Then I guess I’ve got just the right guy, huh?” Demyx smiled into her lips as he kissed her again and again. 
Luxord
“Oh come on… just one drink? To settle my stomach? Shouldn’t be a problem, Really.” The pregnant woman whined as Luxord locked the liquor in the cabinet, a precaution he didn’t think he’d have to take. It had only been 2 months into the pregnancy and now it was going to be even longer without alcohol for him to drink.
“What? No! Alcohol is not something you can have anymore. You know that.” The blond sighed and closed the liquor cabinet with a click before walking to the stove and pouring 2 piping hot cups of tea. “If you want something to drink, have some of this. It’s an herbal tea I heard about in the Land of Dragons. It is supposed to be good for you and the baby.”
As Luxord placed the teacup on the table in front of her, his beloved lady frowned, giving the teacup a look of contempt of someone who killed her family. She was not happy about all of these changes but it was her call to keep this baby, and therefore , it was his job to honor it and make sure she didn’t do something dangerous.  And as much as the gambler was doubtful he was the “good father type”, he knew how much he loved this girl and he was willing to go through heaven and hell for her, and if that meant kids, so be it. But watching her stare so sadly at the tea in front of her made him let out a tired sigh.
“My dear… I know this is something that neither of us expected would be happening, especially so soon..” The blond reached his free arm over her shoulder as he sat down next to her and placed his own tea on the table. “But we’re going to brave these seas, we need to do it the right way. We don’t get any second chances at this, my love. And as much as I would love to replace my tea with something much stronger, I will not give in to temptation. So, please, try the tea.” The gambler placed a kiss on his treasures head before reaching to grab her tea and offering it to her. The girl gave him a disgruntled sigh before taking the cup from him and taking a sip.
“Its… good. Hot and kind of bitter… but nice..” She took another sip, a larger one this time and let out a sight to allow the heat to escape. Luxord smiled in relief, placing a hand on her stomach and moving himself closer to her.
“You see? Maybe some change won’t be so bad for us. After all, our lives before now may not be best for a little one to be growing up in.” As he spoke, he moved his hands in tiny circular motions on her tummy. 
“Luxord, please.. I’m not even showing yet…Don’t get too excitable…” she chuckled and shoved the blond away playfully only to have him bounce back to her and place a kiss on the side of her ear.
“Oh… But you know full well how excitable I can be.” The gambler gave her a hungry grin before diving into the crook of her neck, leaving a trail of kisses and love bites..  Causing her to shudder and let out a light gasp.
Well, at least there are some things that won’t ever change.
Marluxia
It was almost time, and Marluxia knew how difficult it had been for his little flower. Though she wasn’t so little anymore, she still looked radiant. Most days, he found himself just watching her waddle around their home, entranced by her beauty. And as much as she didn’t believe him, it was true. The assassin sighed dreamily as he watched her sleep next to him. The morning moonlight from outside the castle window seemed to just gently caress her skin. Eventually, his beloved roused from her slumber and turned her head to see the rose-haired man staring down at her.
“Good morning, my Blossom.” The assassin cooed as he placed a soft kiss on her cheek as he wrapped an arm around her and pulled himself close.
“You were staring again, my love.” She smiled, turning herself to face him, but in the process separating them with her swollen tummy. Marluxia softly chuckled and moved his hand to her stomach.
“You know I can’t help myself.” He grinned. “My  eyes are drawn to beauty, and once they find it, they can’t tear themselves away. It would be just sinful.”
“Oh? I don’t think I remember you having a problem with sinning 9 months ago… I guess you’ve changed more than I thought.” She teased him with a false hypothetical, but it was true. It was sinning that got them to this point after all.
“Hmmmm…” The assassin moved in and started to leave a trail of kisses down his blossom’s neck. “Well… All rules have exceptions, don’t you think?”
She laughed as his kisses tickled her skin and for a moment everything was at peace. But then as if out of nowhere, her face scrunched and she let out a soft hiss of pain. It only lasted a moment and then her face quickly changed back to the one Marluxia knew. 
“I… We gotta go. Now.”
Was this it? Before Marluxia could even ask, he looked into her eyes, and it was painfully obvious that yes this was it.
Oh. Shit.
Larxene
Aw man, another shitty day of working with utter morons. Larxene let out an aggravated sigh as she walked down the castle halls. Sometimes it seemed pointless to be here at all, but after days like this, she knew something good was waiting for her at home. The nymph straightened her posture and stretched her arms up over her head to loosen up before reaching out to the door in front of her.
“I’m home! Where are you?” She called before unzipping her large coat, hanging it on the wall behind her, and revealing the black tank top and pants underneath. Not everyone in this organization went commando under those things, you know. As she kicked off her black leather boots that were super not convenient for combat, a small voice called back from the back of the domicile.
“Bedroom!”
Larxene started to walk back towards the back bedroom, but making sure to stop at the fridge to grab her pint of ice cream and a spoon. As she came through the bedroom, she couldn’t help but smile. There sitting up in the bed was her girlfriend, tummy swollen with their growing baby, watching TV and snacking on what looked like Chipithys, her favorite snack.
Now you might be asking yourself: “how did Larxene the Bitch Queen end up having a baby?” Well a lot of her coworkers asked the same question. But the answer is none of your fucking business. Once these girls decided it was what they both wanted, there wasn’t a force that could stop them. Of course, it wasn’t that hard to get Marluxia to agree to help them out. Good friends do that.
“Hey! How was work?” The girl asked as she moves some pillows beside her on the bed, making room for Larxene.
“Work was crap.” She gave an exasperated sigh as she plopped down on the bed next to her girlfriend. “Demyx ruined my cover on checking out a swarm of heartless when we were in the Land of Dragons, all because he saw a SPIDER. I swear, he was lie ’Eughhh! Larxene get it awayyy'” And as the blonde mocked her compatriot, complete with arm movements and a pretty good impression of the whiney musician, her girlfriend couldn’t help but break out in hysterical laughter. The laughter was contagious as Larxene broke out in giggles soon after, only cracking open her pint of ice cream when the laughter died down.
“For real though… Men are so stupid…”  Larxene stated as she ate a spoonful of ice cream. Her girlfriend looked mildly concerned.
“You know there’s like a 50% chance that this baby is a boy, right? What then, Larx? You still gonna be saying that? Ahh-” She opened her mouth wide as Larxene fed her a spoonful and she let out a little hum of satisfaction. She was so cute. Larxene reached over and placed a kiss on her girlfriends cheek.
“Well yeah, but.. At least that’s our boy that we’ll raise to not be stupid. I mean, we’re his parents, how stupid could he really be?” Her girlfriend laughed again, resting a head on Larxene’s shoulder. She placed kiss on her girlfriend’s forehead, took another bite of her ice cream and stared up at the TV. “So what’re we watching? General Hospital?”
“What? No its Days of our Lives… Jeez Larx…It's completely different...”
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tap-tap-tap-im-in · 5 years
Text
A little self-reflection
I have a lot of impostor syndrome. If you’re not familiar with the idea, it’s simply an overwhelming feeling that you are not good enough for whatever position you find yourself in. It’s an idea that you can’t quite seem to shake that you are just a little bit of a fraud. I fight against it on a daily basis.
I think a lot of it comes from the fact that seven years ago, when I started this blog, I was unemployed, and the only job I could end up getting was part time employment at a liquor store. It was a nice liquor store, but it wasn’t going to get me anywhere I wanted to be in life. It also comes a lot from the fact that six years ago I was laid off early from my seasonal grounds maintenance job and the only job I could find on short notice to keep my bills paid was bussing for a dinner theatre my friend worked for. I loved that job, but it was hard, dirty, work with terrible hours, that only paid anywhere near well because of tip sharing, and the fact that I was making so little that I qualified for certain kinds of debt relief, and had a very patient friend who was pulling the lion’s share of the bills of our apartment together.
But just about a month ago, I walked into an interview with a company, talked about my skills, told them that I couldn’t accept entry level pay because I wasn’t an entry level developer. I got that job, and I got the pay I asked for, which was more than they had originally budgeted for the position.
There’s a lot going into this, so lets unpack a few things. First of all, I am white, and second of all, while I’ve started to get more open in my own evaluation of the truth of this, for all intents and purposes I am a man. I’m also balding and have fairly thick and full facial hair, so I look about five-ten years older than I am at 28. All that said, I also have a resume of code and experience I’ve been quietly building to back up my claims.
And before we go any further, we’re not talking astronomical amounts of money. The pay I asked for is entry level pay for positions like this in larger metropolitan areas, and is the same amount I was making in the position I left before this. But, this was a smaller company in a weird area of almost but not quite rural. Tourism skews a lot of things.
Back to the impostor syndrome. About five years ago, the theatre I was bussing for needed someone to create low cost projections for them. I’ve always loved fiddling with computers and had a lot of free time on my hands with my 20-25 hour workweek, so I volunteered for the position. I was very happy because I took a van as payment for my work. The work was absolutely worth more than the van, but I had been hitching rides for several years at this point, and this would be the first vehicle that I had ever owned as an individual. I kept it running until just last year. The projections were not that great, but they were cheap and there, so I got three more contracts for it with the same theatre. Each one I improved my process, and started working on my own tools to facilitate it. At the same time, I started working as an on-call IT person for the theatre as well. The hours were anything but regular, but I made $20 an hour, which was a far and away the most money I’d ever made for a job at this point.
And in the background, I’d been slowly teaching myself to program, kind of on accident, since I got that liquor store job in 2012. I have a huge love of Minecraft, and the technology that drives games and real-time graphics, so I found a mod for Minecraft called ComputerCraft which introduces programmable computers into the game. The computers used Lua as their programming language, so I started looking into Lua tutorials, downloaded Notepad++ on a recommendation I found (I still use Notepad++ as my daily driver, and if you don’t need to compile anything, it’s more than enough for any language).
Well, I made a dumb game to run on those computers in Minecraft. I didn’t understand the language very well, and the computers had very limited resources since they were running on top of a full game. To get around those errors, I started porting the game to JavaScript. The code was terrible, but I was learning a lot of core concepts by trial and error.
Back to the jobs, I realized that I could probably take what I was doing for the projection designs and start writing the tools in JavaScript and use CSS for the visual display, instead of my weird application of the Drag&Drop programming of YoYo Game’s GameMaker Studio. I met my now fiance, and I started programming visual poems, like this one: https://tap-tap-tap-im-in.tumblr.com/storm#_=_.
And we knew we were in love. I knew that while I had a come a long way in the last year, but I wasn’t going to really every stand on my own if I didn’t take a risk, so when she moved on to graduate school, I moved with her. I lived on kindness and savings for the first few months, but I continued to work on my pet projects. And then one day we were downtown looking at a local tabletop game store, and I noticed the cashier ring us up with a calculator and a notepad.
I went home and started mocking up a very simple inventory and POS system proof-of-concept using LocalStorage as the database. Depending on the browser and device, LocalStorage starts to top off at around 5MB, and can easily be cleared on accident, so it was not ideal for an actual solution, but it was quick and got me a prototype in a matter of days. I’d never worked on this type of project before, but something in me told me I could do it.
I showed the prototype to the owner of the store, and he offered to finance my development of it at minimum wage (I was unemployed and desperate for any way to start carrying my share, so I took it). I then started looking for ways to solve the problem of actually hooking a database up to what I was doing, and stumbled into the world of PHP and MySQL.
I worked on that project for three months before I walked into a small internet marketing company I had applied to previously and got a job as a PHP developer. That job had a lot of problems, and I hated it and the owner by the time I left, but what it gave me in spades was opportunities to learn, and experience I never would have gotten without it. I hate the owner, but I will always be grateful for the fact that he took what was a weird hobby for me, and gave me a platform to try and turn it into a career.
Now, I’ve personally created things as far reaching as a prototyping framework (Vogon), a dead simple but brutally effective web app firewall (Drawbridge), a desktop application for automated cloud backups (I honestly don’t remember the stupid name we gave this), websites for days, online API integrations from simple to FedEx’s arcane SOAP based monstrosity, and many things in between. Not all of the code is something I’m proud of, and I don’t think some of it should have ever been handed over to clients, but all of it taught me a great deal.
I deal with impostor syndrome all the time, but looking back on it all, I think I have to admit to myself that it’s undeserved at this point.
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wyrdsistersofthedas · 7 years
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HI, I just wanted to say you have a great site. I noticed you put up a number of art drawings and I am not sure if you have looked here but have you seen Matt Rhodes Concept Art for for Dragon Age? It has some great official concept art from Dragon Age 2 including Fenris and Merril. I would love to hear some of your comments on this. The first part is about Mass Effect but halfway down is about Dragon Age. Thanks again.
Hey Nony!
Sorry for the delay getting back to you. We went through quite a few Matt Rhodes posts (the man is everywhere!!) to find the one we thought you were talking about.  Anyone who hasn’t seen Matt’s review of DA2’s concept art is missing out.
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All four of the Sisters Wyrd sat down together for tea and to talk about these designs.
Fenris’ Evolution
On his blog, Matt Rhodes talks about how difficult it was to find Fenris’ look.  They had not done much with Tevinter so they hadn’t finalized its cultural style and that is apparent in these early designs.
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Perhaps the most surprising of the early Fenris concept art was this version, which looks an awful lot like D&Ds Drow Elves.  That would have been quite a departure from the lore that Dragon Age had established concerning elves, who had always been shown having the same skin tones as humans races across the real world.  Fenris’ skin also shows no signs of lyrium tattoos, which suggests that concept was developed later in the creative process.  
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Dorothea pointed out that this early design shares many facial features as Solas’ design.  Long face, prominent cheekbones and jaw, and a similar nose.
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Every inch…
The next design incorporates an intricate tattoo pattern with, what looks like, lyrium highlights.  Unlike Fenris’ final design, the tattoos look more like a ritual pattern rather than the skeletal structure the developers used in the end.  This pattern would have been really hard to create in game and cleanly animate  In this art, Fenris looks like he is wearing mage robes rather than being dressed like a warrior, and the Tevinter look still isn’t there yet.  The belt seems to have been a favorite.  It will show up in several subsequent art designs.  (He looks a bit like Prince Zuko!  Wonder if Avatar was an inspiration?)  Can you imagine cosplaying this?  Those tattoos would be a nightmare!
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The next image has several interesting updates.  The tattoo’s have been simplified and the lyrium is clearly etched into Fenris’ skin with what looks like words, perhaps in Tevene or Elvhen.  (As if these suckers weren’t hard enough to draw as they are in game!)
In this image, Fenris looks very much like a warrior.  Almost Conan the Barbarian-esque.  One thing Artemis found particularly interesting is that this look has been carried forward into the most recent concept art Mark Darrah has teased all of us with, which appears to include Fog Warrior designs that echo this early art design.  This concept for Fenris is definitely more wild, almost feral.  This Fenris conveys so much of his personal history: breaking free of Danarius and living among the Fog Warriors before having to run for his life and freedom.
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The next design makes some very dramatic changes, and Fenris now has the look we see in game.  Mostly.  He has the “new look” for elves in DA2, which was a little too close to the Na’vi from Avatar.  Larger eyes and ears, long necks, and the distinctive broad noses with high bridges.  They managed to make Fenris, Merrill and a few other key elves look beautiful with this new design, but many other elves were…well, not the ethereal beauties they are often described to be in the lore.  
The designers have also developed an obsession we feathers.  Fenris has feathers, Anders has feathers, Flemeth has feathers, etc.  Must have been a texture they were rather proud of and wanted to incorporate in lots of places.  Some of the bird fluff disappears off of his legs by the time we get to the final game, but the ones on his wrist cuffs and shoulders stayed.  (And the belt is back!)  
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Fenris’ tattoos change a great deal from his last iteration.  They now look like they follow his skeleton, which might make them easier to animate (even if they are still a pain in the ass to draw. But these are far easier than any of the previous designs or the ones Matt would use now.  More on that later.)  Did they forget the three dots on his forehead in the game?  Artemis has tried every angle in game to see them but can’t see them.  Yet all the later concept art has them.  There probably is a mod for that.  
It is interesting that Fenris’ hair is black in this art.  We assume that the pain and trauma from lyrium being fused to his skin was what turned his hair white, but as far as we know this has never been confirmed in the canon.
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In almost all of these pictures, Fenris is drawn more sinuous than muscular.  This implies, to our thinking, that his strength comes more from determination than muscles.    Add lyrium as another source of strength and you don’t need big muscles.  This idea was confirmed in World of Thedas 2, which stated that Fenris’ “determination, more than his physical abilities impressed Danarius.”   
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This was one of the last designs for Fenris, but not all of the elements made it into the game.  Matt would very much have liked to hack off his hair.  Bleh!  Yeah, we know everyone thinks he has emo hair, but we think it says a lot about his personality at the beginning of the game.  Fenris’ hair veils his eyes and the emotions on his face, creating a kind of barrier between him and those looking at him.  This look and his posture convey that he was supposed to be a beaten dog, who has only just begun to remember that he is a wolf. 
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Matt’s Dream Fenris
On his tumblr page, Matt posted a design for he wishes Fenris looked like…  Our response: meh.  Fenris is stockier here, with a smaller sword and very clear Tevinter design elements.  They were deep into Inquisition at this point and knew what Tevinter’s art style would be and we can certainly see those elements here.  Persian slipper style shoes, “harem” style pants, pointed tunic, and curved daggers.  (Hey!  Matt put him in shoes!  What in the Void?)  Fenris is also notably heavier set, similar to the stocky elf design we see for ancient elves.  Considering how slim male elf Inquisitors are, this is an interesting choice.  Sera also has a heavier build also.
Bleh.  We don’t care for the bald design, although it does allow us to see the tattoos Matt gave him more clearly.  We now see a dragon motif that does seem very Tevinter, but not very practical.  And a nightmare to draw again.  (We’ll take the ones that made it into the game, thanks!)
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Whatever Matt Rhodes would do with Fenris now, his design was set by Dragon Age 2.  We did get an updated look, however, in The World of Thedas 2.  Notice the changes to his hair and his posture.  This Fenris is far more self assured, but armed to the teeth.  He knows who he is, and is not hiding from anyone anymore.  Slavers better hide from him.  
Merrill’s Many Faces
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Origins of Merrill
You would think when you already have a character designed, there wouldn’t be much to do for Merrill in DA2.  Developing her character, however, also meant updating her look to match the new elements for the second game. Their first attempt produced…interesting results.
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Scary lady!  
Merrill certainly looked different than she did in Origins in her first draft for DA2.  She has a variation on the same outfit she wore in the first game, but without her underpinnings or outer gear.  But the most startling change was her face and countenance.  Her new look screams “I’m a blood mage!!!  Rawr!”  It would have been an interesting concept to explore, this malevolent Merrill.  She was certainly more stern and imperious in Origins than we see her in DA2.  Perhaps losing Tamlen and Mahariel, her closest friends in the Sabrae Clan, could have driven her to more and more dangerous blood magic.  She seems to even have augmented her vallaslin to reflect her grim purpose.  An interesting AU for peeps to play with, but it wasn’t what the writers had in mind.
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After the writers gave Matt more info, he redesigned and created a less scary version, but still rather stern Merrill.  The innocence and seeming naivete she shows in DA2 isn’t there yet, but otherwise she looks pretty much like the Dalish elf we know.  The new mail hauberk may reflect a new desire to protect herself in an increasingly uncertain world.  This armor appears in DAI as a medium armor, suggesting that Daisy is tougher than one might assume (or they just decided it looked more like rogue armor in Inquisition).
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There was an attempt at playing with Merrill’s armor, but makes her look more like a rogue instead of a mage.  The designer’s definitely liked the art, however, as it too appears in Inquisition.  This phase of Merrill’s development also show the influence of the new elf facial structure.  Long neck, large eyes, etc.  We wonder how the developers would handle her appearance and Fenris’ if they were to appear in a future game.  Would they try to make them look as much like their DA2 appearance?  Or would they get another makeover to match the newest version of the elves?  Tricky either way…
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In this concept art, she finally has an expression that is befitting her moniker: Daisy.  Her outfit certainly changed.  More mage-y, perhaps a little more formal, yet very elvhen.  
Several of these clothing concepts eventually did make it into Inquisition. (It is just me, or did they mess up the codes for these three?  It seems to me that the heavy and light armor should be reversed.)  The middle armor is clearly Merrill’s outfit from DA2 ported into Inquisition.  Its presence, along with several other character armors from the second game make me think that cameos were planned for some characters.  In fact, several character armors actually made it DAI.  Isabela was obviously wearing hers in the multiplayer, and I probably said something naughty when I saw this on the sellswords in the Hinterlands.
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It seems likely that they either really liked the designs for these armors or they were planning cameos for several DA2 characters, including Merrill and Anders.  (Thank the Maker they dropped the Anders cameo, especially if the picture below was what they had in mind!  
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Yes, we know that this probably would be his appearance if you let him live, but ordered him to leave Kirkwall without helping the mages, but still!!!  We loves him.  *Morta sobs in the corner for a few*)
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Simply Merrill
Unlike Fenris, Matt said there is little he would change about Merrill.  There are, however, a few interesting details in the “how I would draw her now” picture.  Her eyes are wide and bright, filled with both curiosity and some trepidation.  Her clothes are far more simple than the look he created for his ideal Fenris.  Other than her near trade scarf, her clothes are plain and nondescript with no embellishments we can identify with city elves or the Dalish.  She is not wearing her mail hauberk either, and we assume the many bindings on her arms are from bloodletting for her magic.  Merrill seems very unprotected from the forces she is wielding.  It is a night and day difference from the first piece of concept art of her.
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In Merrill’s World of Thedas 2 design, she looks virtually unchanged save for two features.  Her hair is done with cornrows on the right and her cheek vallaslin is missing.  We are going to assume that her vallaslin was an oversight or oversimplification of her Dirthamen tattoo from DA2.  (If her vallaslin has changed again we may have to say “Oh, dear!”, shake our heads, and write theories about why.)
Thanks again for the ask, Nony.  We had fun going back over these designs and hope it was what you were looking for.  There is a lot of other interesting material on Matt’s Blogspot/Tumblr/DeviantArt that we can look into in the future if folks are interested.  And we will keep our eyes open for DA4 teases.
-The Wyrd Sisters of Thedas
Bonus!  Bela-licious!  
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Did y’all see this concept art for Isabela?!  We love it!  I mean, yeah, we love her any way we can get her (and she is a rather inventive pirate queen), but this art is gorgeous.  The style deliberately echoes Duncan’s outfit in Origins, and therefore show some insights into Rivaini fashion.  To our eyes, it looks very Romani with a pirate flair.  It would be awesome to have a mod of this outfit in game, either for Bela, Hawke, or the Inquisitor.
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