#and now.. look at it.. so sad and empty

[nerevar-quote-and-star]

Dangerously close to plotting a real Skyrim/Lord of the Rings crossover for after Keeping Count because my secret desire for Leara/Glorfindel has reared its head again

Shhh Don't question it.

#look look now i must explain #the explanation is that leara simply works well with literally every male character I like at least for the most part #anyway #it'd be funny #i wish i could write a leara/astarion fic but i do NOT understand d&d at all alas #I understand lotr/silm on a crazy level so i guess sunshine hero elf it is #this is fine actually #actually what i really need to do is edit and finish my funny Skyrim/hobbit crack fic but that's a ten year old project #no really #I do NOT KNOW i am just having thoughts and i'm sharing them on my blog because it's mine and I can #also i was in the glorfindel/ofc tag on ao3 like five minutes ago and it looks empty and sad #so Leara can fix it #one day there will be more leara ships than there are for hermione granger jk maybe #i should make a list #I am talking out of my hair it is unlikely that i'll ever do anything the fact that keeping count even exists is a bloody miracle #mod post #oc: leara roseblade

[rainymoodlet]

Kiss Me in Komorebi+ 🌸

[Ep. 16] The Beach Episode Spa Arc

[ Part 13 of 15 ] 🌹

@morrigan-sims

#ts4 #ts4 gameplay #ts4 screenshots #ts4 challenge #ts4 bachelor challenge #;kmik #sim: daniel #julien west by morrigan-sims #|| #oh man these are so empty of dialogue now that i look at them #but i mean julien was #genuinely incosolable after this happened omg #every sim around was SO OFFENDED at the public sex and chewed him and julian OUT #and he was Very Sad it was SO… don’t touch me omg #dan consoled him for a WHILE but it didn’t seem to help #there will be context after this but #julien is genuinely so sorry to have hurt daniel and its REALLY not about anything beinf #being** god damn it #‘wrong’ with daniel and that its just Not How It Looks #its not a Typical Bachelor Challenge Contestants Woohooing and Romancing In Secret kinda thing #idk if that… comes across here fudhdhd #i’m sO SORRY MORRI YOU DIDN’T DESERVE THIS #GENUINELY WAS SO EXCITED TO POST THESE NOW I JUST FEEL SICK :))) how do i KEEP DOIN THIS…. #MY BABIES…

[aphsillyos]

his default recall is so cool..........

#not me arts tag #ive never used his default skin so i didnt even know what it looked like until now....ough #i wish u could mix and match sounds or recalls with skins................ #i honestly forget half the time hes supposed to be like. Cool and Suave and a Competent Badass #because my brain is always like. god hes so small and floppy and will die if you breathe on him wrong #also hes always crying and breathing heavily in my ear so im just like. poor guy #he should be at the bed taking a nap not fighting....... who made him fight.... stop that he doesnt belong on the battle field #he might be a badass hitman or smth but my brain is like #this is just a sad theatre kid who took gymnastics #''aphelios how is your assassin training going'' aphelios who has only been reading the acrobatics textbook: my what #is there anyone still reading these tags. hi there #i have a lot of thoughts on him. im very obsessed with his animations #like he has a laugh animation for every weapon....... #all the various weapon animations... #maybe the real reason we wont have a legendary for 10 more years is all the animating they have to do #i mean his base animations are so good id honest be like OK if they reused them #cant rly do much better than already Top Tier animations #unless we get an alune legendary..... #hope alune is super awesome and badass and all the aphelios voicelines are a really shy awkward guy or smth #like you look so cool and awesome fighting and the whole world doesnt know ur listening to a lil guy in your brain the whole game #the contrast would be very funny methinks #if anyones still reading this. yes i know riot made up some reason about budget or whatever for voices #but i choose to believe aphelios is head empty no thoughts and thats why he doesnt talk to alune #(STILL GOOFY OF A REASON... lots of VAs can do both genders of voices.... like. what about kindred and kayn....) #then again wouldnt be surprised if they were overbudget on the animations but still smh my head into oblivion #can relate to a guy who simply doesnt wanna talk #(said after 10000 tags of talking to myself) #i should really put my thoughts onto a separate post or blog or something #anyways have i mentioned i think hes really cute

[caruliaa]

OKSYY idk if anyone actually gives a shit abt these but yk the drill ill be liveblogging the nintendo direct block #flappy watches the nintendo direct now so u can not have to deal with it

#flappy rambles #flappy watches the nintendo direct #actaully feeling less excited and more sad and empty but thts bc im at a very sad and empty point in my life #like even if nintedo announced every single game id ever want. theres someone who would have listened to me ramble #about how excited i was even when it was an interest that was more mine then theres who now im just. not close with now even if i want to b #and idk if i ever will be idk if id get the special connection with them back #whatever. stil ltrying to be excited !!! tomodoachi life is obvs what i hope but thts not happening #totk dlc where u can play as zelda maybee ? :o #idk. i do kinda like. mario wonder looks cool but im not that big on 2d mario compared to 3d #so im glad that got a separate direct a few weeks ago so its not a huge focus here

[scattered-winter]

the funny thing about being aro is that I am genuinely afraid of being alone for the rest of my life, but if anyone even STARTS to imply that it's because I'm never gonna have a joyful and fulfilled life without a romantic partner it makes me so mad I see red

#its. a fear born from a society entirely structured around amanormativity. #im not afraid ill never Find Someone im afraid that all the people ive already found will leave #because this (western) society puts so much emphasis on romantic relationships that any friendships or familial bonds #are instantly made lesser. #so many of my friends and siblings have pushed their relationships with friends (and me) to the side because they have this... #..idk. Bigger And More Important relationship to maintain. #and its all well and good when Everyone has that Bigger Relationship but when someone doesnt want one??? #theyre kind of left in the dust. by everyone. and it sucks #im not saying all the people ive ever known have done this and its unfair to say that everyone Will do this #but idk. there's fear there that i dont know if ill ever be able to shake. #BUT AT THE SAME TIME if anyone tries to say being aro makes my life depressing and sad and empty i am KILLING THEM WITH HAMMERS #aro joy is perhaps my favorite thing on earth. everyone go look at my pinned post right now #anyway idk. kind of a ramble i just got started thinking about all this #winter speaks #<- ish #aro tag #i should start tagging this LMAO

[poppies]

2023 was the worst year of my life. not sure what's to come or where to start but i know things have to change, i have to fix things somehow

#i haven't been very active online #last june i experienced something traumatic and i'm stuck in an environment in which i cannot heal #plus chronic pain has inhibited my life to a devastating degree #so all i've done these past months is sink further and further into a sadness and emptiness and pain i can't describe #it's scary to look in the mirror at somebody entirely unrecognizable. i feel hollow and devoid of any traits #i feel i've lost everything that made me 'myself' #lost my family. lost my health. lost myself. lost all the things i cared about once #i don't think i can ever return to the person i was before. so i have no option but to start anew #i need to stop being so terribly nostalgic for the things i can never get back #i can't keep clinging onto broken shards #honestly i know deep down that holding on to the hurt has never served me. and i doubt it ever will #but i'm scared to let go. scared of what will take its place. scared of what i'll find. #i don't think i can heal here #so i'm just enduring. but it's scary how time keeps passing. i've been so dissociated and none of this feels real #i feel so hopelessly lost and trapped and behind. i'm 23 now but it feels so wrong #✩

[marshmallowgoop]

2022 AMV Review

It's a bit late, but since I do yearly writing reviews, I thought it might be fun to do AMV reviews, now that I've started seriously editing with DaVinci Resolve.

This video collects a piece of every AMV I posted last year, from my very first Resolve AMV to the one I made right before my previous laptop broke completely. If I continue this in the future, I think I'd limit it to Top 10 or one per month, but since I only have 10 Resolve AMVs under my belt right now, it felt right to include all of them!

One of my biggest struggles with video editing—and with Creating in general—is doing Too Much, going way overboard and making things worse with the additional time and effort. It's a real struggle to cut back, but I think I'm slowly learning to limit my clip amount to make my videos (slightly) easier on the eyes.

But all that said, I've always admired AMVs but never felt like I could actually make them, so that I uploaded 10 in 2022 is amazing to me! I'm excited to start editing some more on my new laptop!

#ah heck i'll actually post this why not #i'm maybe feeling a little sad because my project files for all of these might be lost forever... #i got my c drive out of my old laptop (where the files should have been stored) and attached it to another motherboard #then i should have copied everything off of it to my external drive but... i couldn't find the 'resolve projects' folder #where it was supposed to be was just 'empty folder' #maybe i'll try to get a reader for the drive (it's no longer attached to that motherboard) and take a closer look but gosh it kills me :'( #still... very proud of myself for putting in all the time and effort to learn things on davinci resolve! #i really really love video editing (even if it takes *forever* and i average maybe 20 hours a vid) #i hope my new laptop handles it well! it has a much better graphics card and was silly expensive so... fingers crossed aha #i'd do so many things differently now but the heiji fancam is still the most important thing i've ever made #detective conan #video #eye strain

[oscill4te]

Ever since I was a kid, i for some reason pitied small business owners. I dont know why. I think seeing so many small businesses close down makes me feel a weird pang of sadness and pity for them. thats so negative, i know.

#staring at this business card and feeling a pang of sadness in my chest. hope you get sm business entrepreneur queen #i guesssss. being a kid during 2008 will do that to you lol economy was weird #its way worse now e_e great #i think even as a kid i knewww those places looked empty and empty = their hopes n dreamz n effortz.. gone #so many businesses just open to close like a yr later

[altruistic-meme]

i feel like i SHOULDN'T be crying after moving, right? like. it was 100% by choice. i was fully aware today would be my last day with the keys. i could've stopped it and chose not to.

but idk. that was my FIRST EVER apartment. and actually my first time ever MOVING was into that apartment. and my first time living alone. and im just. idk. i guess im allowed to be sad about it, right? it just seems kinda silly. idk.

#im not counting the time we moved when i was less than a year old ok that doesnt count #but im just in like. shock ig?? #i was looking at the empty apartment and it STILL felt like home even with nothing in it #and that struck me as odd?? idk. its not like ive got experience with these feelings ig #my new apartment doesnt really feel like home but.... ive only been here 2 days and both were full of me just moving shit #today is the first day i really get to SIT with it now that I've turned in my other keys #idk. im just kinda sad and i have no one here with me so ig im kinda lonely too #im gonna go watch brother bear now #shh ac

[skunkg1rll]

im in love w him not only bc of who he is as a person nd how drawn i am to his personality, but also bc i feel like he's the only one who has ever wanted to see me. who i am, like deep down. he's the only one who i feel like i've ever connected with, in an easy nd genuine way. the only one who i feel has ever gotten me. he's the only one who's ever made me feel like we actually have a connection we're both in on, bc i havent had to pretend or put up a fake front for him bc he wanted the real image of me.

#unfortunately he has his own shit to deal w #so bc of one thing that was actually a mistake from me #he misjudged it nd saw it from his own perspective nd didnt understand mine #nd thus concluded that he saw me wrong nd didnt actually know who i am #nd then he had decided that so strongly he wasnt wven open to hear me out or try to understand what that situation was for me #that made me very sad nd hurt nd like #he doesnt actually like me as much as i like him #bc i would always always ask him nd hear him out before jumping to conclusions #i have asked him abt this but he is a wall nd doesnt wnna talk abt it #nd i cant force anyone so... yeh. it is what it is #i wish that we had the connection where he wanted to understandwhere i was coming from #instead of being like ughshe isnt the perfect image that i had constructed #so now im writing her off completely bc she doesntlive up to my expectations #but... my heart just loves him sm i can look past that #however... that is meaningless when i dont even know what he feels for me nd i cant get an answer out of him #maybe he doesnt wanna tell me bc he doesnt return my love nd he knows i'llbe hurt nd he'll risk losing me as a friend #i'd never stop talking to him tho.. that is the worst part #if imginna get over these feelings #i need to hear it straight from him. i need him to tell me thatno i am not in love with you #then i need to never talk to him again nd never lookat his social media #then it will hurt a lot but after a year or so i will only feel empty nd not hurt when i think of him #but i am tooweak to be the one to stop talking to him now #my entire day revolves around him nd i know its unhealthy but idk how to stop #since this obsession is unrequited i dont actually wanna feel it #but i have no idea how to stop #god this is driving me insane wtf is wrong w me??

[iloveyouitisruiningmylife]

my sister called me and kept asking excitedly that what's happening in my life and

#like life as in. i can't say love life but like you know what's happening with the guys and the girls #girl #and i was so tired #am so tired #i just made up an excuse that im too physically tired too talk to cut the call and told her id call her back but i won't #i want to okay i really do I want to hear about her life what's going on but she's not that type of person jinke saamne #i can just divert the topic from myself avoid talking about me she's determined and caring like that😭 #just. kya batau main #i spent the whole day working but really if i stopped doing anything for like 2 minutes all the last convos i had with everyone i #liked loved whatever started replaying in my head constantly making me feel all down and sad in public yk that empty heaviness inside chest #i mean. what is there to say. i feel truly pathetic #everyone just keeps leaving me. they decide one day that oh nope she's not for me not interesting anymore doesn't understand is too much #draining and destroys my peace and then they leave #it doesn't even matter the weight of the relationship #whether it's been a year of being in love or two weeks of talking till 5 am or a week of wishing me good morning and good night #every day. it doesn't matter they leave and they leave and they leave and they don't look back and im left to pick up the pieces go on #pretend to be okay and normal and fucking focused on like. studying accounts as if my heart isn't breaking #into a million tiny pieces everytime #i don't know how to tell her. the sister you love so much the sister you can't live without imagine life without. the #sister who you thought about holding on for because you couldn't do that to her leave her alone when you had suicidal thoughts. she's #she's actually deeply unlovable undateable unfuckable and like truly lonely and easy to let go of #i know she loves me and i know my bestfriend loves me and she would fall apart if i wasn't there for her #but it's not enough. i really wish it was. but it's okay it's enough for now it's enough to keep me going it's enough to make me not wanna #die yk? like i don't love myself enough to live for myself get better for myself but they need me so i need to be okay be happy because i #need them to be happy. and they're happy when im happy #does that make sense #okay bye i should really start writing a diary

[this-should-do]

Freeman has neither the time nor the patience to deal with cowards who wont do their job, especially when they stop him from doing his

#gordon freeman #half life #blood tw #idoindeeddraw #oh m y fucking gooood finally its fucking finished #is it my best work? no! do i give a crap? no! done is better than not and this was a good idea so i wanted to finish it #anyways love doing comic based on in game events #like me having a bad day and losing my patience when i couldnt get a guard to do his job so i pushed him down stairs and then #slapped him when he continued not doing his job becuz vr controls are weird and vr lets u have empty hands #anyways inifnitely fond of the face gordon makes right before he slaps this poor guard lol #like please dont make it at me but do it again its a good look #also loving the concept where if this follows the black mesa series of events this guard gets beat to shit by aalien grunt after gordon #goes thru the door to get chased down by a goliath lol #anywyas please enjoy my desperate effort to finish a project thats been sittin gopen in krita for almost 2 months now lol #going insane with relief #but ye as much fun as makin gordon feel sad and alone and pathetic #it is equally as fun to make him have sum moments of not being a perfect victim son #hes ruthless and sumtimes u gotta be a lil forceful to get to ur goal so u gotta be a lil bad #cant be perfect all da time its just not fun #and its also simply unrealistic for everyone of these cops to be willing to follow everytime cuz like (gestures to real life in frustration) #but yeah angry gordon very good concept #peace out im gonna go eat the freeze dried bananas i promised myself as a reward for finishing this comic lol

[they-call-me-hippie]

Yeah I can tell people have lost their grasp on basic ongoing forms of oppression when they say things like "hatred of men and masculinity is one of the reasons trans women, BIPOC and Jewish men are persecuted" like what a non-sequiteur. Imagine being so ignorant of power structures in your attempt to """progressively""" defend men that you become transphobic

#Truly astounding. Your brain is empty read a book on transphobia instead. Acclimate yourself to that concept #Try moving on to misogyny next. You might learn things there! Like actual feminism! #Now for a real challenge: try out this wholly new intersection of oppressions called transmisogyny #And then Look Out To The World. See What It Has To Say About Men And The Preferred Gender To Rule #You know it would be funny how bad people have become in writing an argumentative text on here if it wasn't so sad to see #how they think writing assertively is all they need to make your point #People online will posit any observation as an immutable fact of reality when it’s just their misconceptions contributing to a flawed view #of the world #Even if it would be quickly deconstructed by actual theoretical frameworks like feminism 101 and intersectionalism and privilege theory #They don't even know they don't know. What a Dunning-Kruger effect. It's become Plato's cave in here #Anyways you might see that post out in the wild. Exciting! #Also how would that first point even apply. Literally the only ones who might fit in are transphobic women but then you might notice #It's not the man-hate that's directly responsible for the transphobia! #Now I'm not a fan of negative feminism posting more than anyone else but if I have to keep seeing that garbage you'll have to keep hearing #me insult this. The least it deserves after making me mad Online

[meownotgood]

reorganized the akis. from now on, this shelf will be just for my akis

#but I will probably upgrade them to their own bookcase later on #there's also some other akis that don't fit on this shelf #so this will be for mostly smaller ones #the fat ones need more room for their big butts #the shelf looks kind of empty and sad now lol #WE NEED TO FILL IT WITH MORE AKI!!! #aki <3

[azaracyy]

tamersona week post for day 1 & 2, introduction for tamer and digimon. they're more my go-to ocs than self-inserts actually, if it's not clear enough xD

#digimon #tamersona #tamersonaweek #digidestinedweek #tsukaimon #figured i should start posting here so it doesn't look so sad and empty #will get around to posting the art i have on twitter here too slowly but surely #this isn't my first time on tumblr i just haven't used it for ages... now it feels awkward #oc:elise #oc:pepper #png

[nicoscheer]

#welp folk this is it i guess it was an amazing tour filled with amazing moments and I’ll be forever grateful that I got to see them twice #but the emptiness of their calendar kinda describes the emptiness I’ll be feeling once I’ve fully realized that this is it for the next few #years but I’m glad the boys are getting their well deserved break and hopefully they’ll be back rather sooner than later #mr schwarz finally doesn't have to stay strong for the crew anymore. he can take his rest #feel like the general mood is that the band and co are glad they can rest now but also sad that the adventure is over #or so it seems wegen looking at their faces and posts from tonight and the last weeks #just like us we’re sad they are gone and the car left the car park but also happy for them to catch up on some z’s