#and then i have exam on friday ;-; but i like that class but it is rly hard and i havent fully comprehended everything yet

[cinnamostar]

working my 9-5 into doing normal human responsibilities into doing homework until 9:30pm is so plekdkekekdkke T - T my brain is fried im going to bed early tonight..

#im so stressed djejejjeenn #i have a project for class due Monday but Im like 75% done w it #i have a work project I want to complete by Friday .. but probably won’t… I’ve done 10 out of 40 testing procedures so far tho.. #and then I have an exam for class this weekend #and I have a paper due this weekend :/ I have all my sources gathered and I read thru them so hopefully writing it will be a breeze…. #ABHHHHHHHHHH #I’ll be ok #im just scared ill get bad scores dkdkdkekej im hellbent on keeping my 4.0

[todayisafridaynight]

ignore if you don't give one for my streams Anyways potential stream schedule goin forward Just Until I Finish Judgement

thursday i'll stream judgement from like. 3:30 ~ 7:30

friday'll be 4:30 ~ 8:30

saturdays will be the usual 3:30 ~ . fuckin whenever LMAO art stream i do

#snap chats #ew i just remembered i have my spanish exam tomorrow im going to throw up #anyway i thought i'd stream today but the more i thought of it the more i wanted to throw up #im already really drowsy and plus i dont want to be stressed under the time crunch in-between class #plus assembling and disassembling The Tower is nerve racking i dont need something breaking while i rush to class LOL #thursday'll be chill since i only have my morning class then and friday i only have The One class. and its friday. #i'm putting a strict time limit on gameplay days since i want to try to record these and i think four hours is just enough time #firstly to watch but also i think it's small enough to be able to be saved onto my computer #idk we'll see how it plays out. i think the usb could only record about two hours before it ran out of space #and my computer's space As Of Now is about twice the size of that usb #i'm gonna try to clear up more space but yeah thats the deal for right now #four hours is by no means a lot of gameplay time- much less than id like LMAO but we do what we gotta #maybe i'll do a similar schedule for IW except instead of thurs being a game day i'll make it sunday #i have a night class thursday next semester unless i edit my schedule at some point #honestly i might cut out art streams during IW... lemme speed through the shit so i can draw stuff for it LOL #but we'll get there when we get there

[coffee-bat]

i haven't been having the best time lately

#sorry vent incoming in tags. you dont have to read you really can skip this #/so the day before yesterday i had a major argument with mom. about something incredibly small but she got super mad at me (basically i #suggested she might have made a mistake while cleaning the oven bc when i turned it on i smelled and felt burning chemicals. like- #-teary eyes and sneezing i wasn't imagining it. and she got super mad and started yelling) #for the whole afternoon it was either silent treatment or yelling abt how what i said is 'unforgivable' #and ofc rejecting apologies and attempts to calm the situation down bc 'this isn't something you can just fix with an apology' #i literally just asked if she's sure everything went right with the oven cleaning. bc it was done in a rush. #so anyway at 10pm i HAD to get the situation to a manageable level bc i was starving and she was in the living room (we have an open kitchen #) so if i wanted to get sth to eat i'd have to confront her. so screaming match ensued again with me apologizing and explaining my point - #and her yelling over me. it went on for 40 minutes. finally after me apologizing like 70 times she calmed down but said that 'what i did is- #-unacceaptable and she does not give permission for it to happen again'. i went to sleep without getting anything to eat of course. #and this fucked me up. bc i really thought we were doing better. i really thought our relationship would only get better now esp after we - #-bonded on vacation. but turns out not. and shes still lowkey mad. #THEN yesterday im studying for a zoology exam and mention it on the phone with her #she goes 'who do you have zoology for'. i respond with the name of the teacher. confused. #'professor (x) died on friday.' #?????????? #'it's not published anywhere yet so yeah YOU have to tell your class' #i had a panic attack legit. i threw up from stress. i couldnt do it. first off bc of shock and secondly bc how am i supposed tojust jump #into group chat like 'oh hey btw professor died' #thankfully the info was posted officially by uni at 10pm. so i didnt have to do it. but mom kept pressing me to the whole day #i was nauseaous all of yesterday bc of it. i couldnt manage to study anymore after the shock. sure he was older but he was so energetic and #seemed healthy. i wouldnt have expected it it was just. a huge shock. im still not over it #like you cant know someone for half a year then not be shaken when they suddenly die yknow. and mom is lowkey making fun of me like #'what were you emotionally attached??? he wasnt anyone close' #no he wasnt but im still shaken. and being mocked is only making it worse. as is having to keep studying for his subject for the next few- #-days. #sorry ok vent over theres just. a lot happening for me and im struggling i needed to let it out ig. theres just too much at once #vent #death mention

[chuuyrr]

disappeared for a day or two, sorry about that. college life is so hectic, and i'm still a bit under the weather since i still have a cold (𖦹﹏𖦹;)

#⋆𐙚₊˚ niki says ! #it's SO not cool i swear #am having sinus headaches bc of it #constantly feeling more sleepy in class too #and i literally have practical exams this friday and a bunch of homeworks and quizzes to juggle on top of that #LIKE DAMN #will also be at uni for the next few days including the weekend bc of happenings

[tkbrokkoli]

how are my mutuals doing

#not fandom related #personal log stardate #i was busy the last few days writing a report for class. on friday i spent 9 hrs w writing 😬 im drained now from the past few days #exams start in 2 weeks so i basically have to spend all my free time studying starting from today ugh #ive been on T for a little over 2 weeks now haven't noticed any changes so far except maybe some ~sensations~ considering voice and #bottom growth. my throat has hurt a bit for a few days but i might also just have gotten a cold. i feel however like my voice is a little #deeper right after waking up and trying to speak deeper than my usual speaking voice has become a bit easier. i have to put effort into it #though. also bottom growth idk if the sensations are just a usual phase of sensations dowm there that i sometimes get anyway #or if it's actual bottom growth. i could be imagining the voice and bottom growth stuff. that's how tiny the changes in sensation are #still it makes me euphoric 😁 #i haven't talked to my family abt trans stuff again and there's a slight tension between us that im not sure what to do w #but im seeing my therapist this week to discuss all of this #i don't have any health updates bc i haven't seen that doctor again yet my next appointment is in april and since I didn't get a call from #them i suppose nothing is urgently bad so i hope it's all just fine but ill hear abt it in april

[squishious]

list of my grievances in the tags bc this has been the most miserable week ever and the only person i could conceivably complain to is also going through it

#starting strong with at least 2 midterms/papers due every fucking day except monday #moving on to daylight savings happening when i am already sleep deprived as fuck #and then university wide power and internet outage <3 #also general malaise and sad vy the time we reach halfway through the week #fucking evil [redacted] midterm #where i study my ass of and flop so bad #in a truly unifixable way i fear #was supposed to be my fun class to goddammit #and its so fucking windy today which i actually hate #gale wind warnibg = cannot sit outside in the sun and forget abt wverything #THEN #i go to cafe for a pick me up and fi ish bibliography #and the internet will not connect no matter what i do #AND #friend is coming to visit me tmrw but its actually just to pic up an ikon pass and she isnt even gonna hang out for a bit #no fault of her own but #its annyoninh on top of all this :( #genuinly the grade thibg is fucking with me so much i had to have done TERRIBLY to go from a 100 to what i have noe #and i thought i did bad but like. not thag bad #anyways i simply want to curl up into a ball and ignore everything for a couple days but ! i cannot #bc paper due tonight and exam tmrw and then saturday i have to go see my brothers performance which #notmally would be rlly fun #but after this week i want to dissapear for a day #and then sunday rehearsal #and then wednesday midtemr again ! fuck me !! #and then friday quiz but at least its onlinr #and then stayrday holi then break which like fun but also means going home #and im already miserable #so not twlling anyone abt grade flop And generally being home = ultra misesable???? #squish speaks

[xiaojuun]

picked up my cap and gown it's rly happening 😻😻😻

#classes finished today so next week i just have exams on tues/thurs and then pinning friday !!!! #and uni wide graduation sat ... brainstorming what to decorate my cap with hehe #but omg my maternity instructor at the end of class made us turn to the person next to us to thank them for being with us over these 2 yrs #and my seatmate is my babyyyy like my adopted little sister we ate lunch at clinical together every week our first year #we both almost cried 😭 TEW MUCH

[pallases]

🙈

#personal #pretending i do not see all my final projects due thurs/fri of next week… #god i have no idea when im going to work on them. my lab partners for today were like let’s make sure we meet sunday through wednesday next #week! like?? girl no i don’t have time for that 😭 esp considering we’re basically Done w this final project #we need to add in a servo and some led pwm that’s literally it… meanwhile my final project for a different class is barely started at all #bc my lab partner has been gone for a solid three weeks due to medical issues And she has had the board for the last week so i haven’t been #able to do anything and she keeps scheduling work on the one day a week we can meet outside of lab like. GRRRHEWHAAAA #the engineering chronicles #and then there’s my short story essay and exam and all the physics hw sets i need to do and then review and ofc actual finals week after al #that etc etc… it never ends!!!! #the english chronicles #<- short story essay and exam are also a friday thing btw

[iron-niffler]

god im tired

#had class at two then back to back exams #and was braindead and crying by the time i got back at like 7:15 so just played video games for a few hours #and now i need to start studying for diffeq on friday #god i cant wait till saturday #would say friday afternoon but of fucking course i have three different fucking assignments due friday 11:59 #what fucker thought “yeah we'll just put strengths of materials and physics back to back then diffeq two days after” #and ofc it's “mEntAl hEalTh wEeK” at my school #so im just sitting here crying for the tenth time today over physics/strengths/diffeq #and the advisors are spamming “come to this three hour webinar about burnout” #like...really #fuck everything why the hell did i ever think i was smart enough for engineering #my senior self was like “ooh this is cool” about circuits and lil robots and power tools #and now im sobbing over free body diagrams #am entirely convinced electric fields are black magic bc none of that shit makes any sense #im just so tired like i spent hours studying for these exams #did 2-3 backexams for each got little sleep since sunday #and i fucked both of them up massively #course my professor was like “if you can do these you can do the exam” #and i did those problems easily the night before and was like okay! let's work on physics! #and then the exam hit me like a fucking freight train #i can't even do the basic shit like stay fully awake for all my classes #bc of course they only offer three of the engineering courses back to back to back starting at 8:30 in the fucking morning #and im fine in thermo but just start completely crashing during strengths and am just half dead in diffeq #accidentally put my head down during a five minute break once and woke up twenty minutes later 😭 #i am not a morning person #starting at 10am is fine but 8:30am? #adrenaline gets me through the first hour but then im just dead

[scarletcomet]

i feel like I'm gonna cry. not for any particular reason other than *gestures vaguely*

#and i don't really cry that often other than sometimes at movies/tv #i think if a normal person experienced the thoughts and feelings i have constantly they would cry a lot #that's why i've always hated ppl calling me sensitive if i were to cry #anyways #i'm just super stressed about school #have a huge programminh assignment due wednesday where the only instruction we were given was to learn at least 1 new language or framework #on our own. so i've had to like teach myself all this shit and i have no idea what i'm doing #i have astrophysics hw due last night i need to submit by tuesday and i have no idea what's going on in that class #i have a huge exam on wednesday where we aren't allowed a notecard or anything and i can't remember things #and i have another exam on thursday that i need to do super well on because i did badly on the last one #and i don't really know what's going on in that class either #i feel like i just don't have enough time to do all the things i need to do even though i've been working nonstop #on friday i was literally working on my code for that big assignment until 2 am #as of rn you can register and login to my shopping site #if youre logged in you can then view items and add items and log out #you can click to just view 1 item and delete items (even if they're not yours oops) #currently trying to get update item to work (and failing miserably) #said on my rubric (which i made before i knew anything about the frameworks i chose to learn) #that you would be able to leave comments on items and view and add money to your account #oh and i also got to make it so you can actually buy an item #i also allocated 20 points towards a creative portion which is just doing a lot of additional stuff i didnt specify #i have so much to do and so little time #i'm using React (a js framework) for the frontend and Laravel (a php framework) for the backend and like none of the TAs know laravel rip #the TAs are practically useless anyway and the prof doesn't have any office hours #panicking #so much to do #i haven't started studying for either of my exams this week #and i don't even go to lectures for one of the classes and we're still learning new stuff on tuesday #i need to not sleep but i get so sleepy #im so bad at focusing in my apt but the library closes at midnight and is only open 24hrs during reading and finals week

[earlyspringtranscendence]

btw i think one of the most impt hobbies in the world is having a mostly non-existent, mostly self indulgent crush on a professor/lecturer just to zone out to their classes to and focus instead on their hair and their hands and their dark circles speaking NAWT from experience. maybe a little bit.

#yeah he's got me a lil crazy i was doing dishes this morning thinking abt all the things i still have to do this week #bc we have his exam on friday and im trying to determine whether i should try to do some prep work or just leave it for the day of #& i was just thinking abt like. oh he's so fucking precious he like actively took the time over winter break to memorise the names of #the people who consistently show up to class and like its cause he's sweet and wants to eventually teach more focussed smaller groups #but like my man my absolute angel you have accidentally stumbled upon the number one surefire way to make people wanna keep coming to class #like his classes r great but mostly i like that he knows who i am #and like i was thinking abt like. we were talking abt language in art movements like dadaism and i asked if he'd read embassytow #-n and he said he hadnt but that he had a list of student recs i'd be on and then in a later class i asked if he read fever dream and he #like made the joke that he'd have a section in his list of just things i told him to read #You Dont Understand I Need This Man Carnally. THIS is what one direction meant when they said thats what makes u beautiful #fuck me i hope he has this effect on the ladies cause if not hey babe there's a whole world out here for you ready to be explored #its also jst funny bc we r genuinely all afflicted by this tragic desire of him i think its partially bc his classes r a little boring #again love him to bits he does try his best its just rly surface level shit because it has to be within the nature of his classes #anyway. convincing myself not to fail his class on purpose so i can retake it next year its going poorly #also just had like a rly long convo w him after class once and he's just. URGH SO SWEET IM LEAVING. IM GOING AWAY NOW. #dreamboy... ugh ! AND he's a poet professionally !!!

[girlwithfish]

i have to go to CLASS tmrw .

#idekwhat were doing in my seminar were done w readings for the sem just have an exam on friday nd the rest of the class is #doing stuff for our final projwct. #maybe class will end early 🙄 #i hate being on campus for 5-6hrs i always feel disgusting and grimy when im done w my last class #like i need to go home and shower and be in my comfy clothes

[shubblelive]

i haven't even reached my wc goal for one assignment, pray for me

#em in college. what will she do? #i think i've got a max of 8 assignments before exams #i have currently finished none of them #i've done half of one that's due tuesday #and i've down a little less than half of one that's due friday #then i've got another one due the monday after that #and i haven't even started that one #gonna work on the friday one first even though it's due after cause it's shorter #i hate this #the worst part is i CHOSE these classes? #like this is MY fault

[kuiinncedes]

700 more words TT

#have written 1700 words today aknjfkjgfhj #i wonder if my strategy of just writing whatever tf i can think of down first (what i've been doing today) #and then going back and organizing/elaborating/deleting/etc after will come back to bite me tho #idk i had a solid like 1000 words i think where i wasn't struggling too much to write what i wanted to write #and then i was like lmfao shit now what #ugh anyway i'm tired but i wanna finish the 2400 words today so i can do all that otehr stuff to actually make it coherent tomorrow #it's due tomorrow afternoon ;-; and here i am putting words on tumblr dot com instead LOL #and then i have exam on friday ;-; but i like that class but it is rly hard and i havent fully comprehended everything yet #bc i havent done any practice/studying yet ;-; so gotta cram after turning this project in lmfao rip #ahhhhfhajfghlsdbjksdfgjlkadhgaidrhg screaming so close yet so far still lol #bro i was like very productive for like a couple hours maybe this afternoon and then after that i've been . not as productive TT #1700 words tho !!!!! 700 more i can do it probably TT #i could've chosen a final project option that wasn't writing some kinda essay but iiiiiiii didnt :'') #i actually like somehow completely forgot about the fact that i was obsessed w rina's htg album and one of the options was like a playlist #option and i feel like a lot of the songs could fit w themes we discussed in class this asian am lit class :P #esp bc minor feelings and we read (parts of) the book minor feeligns lol #but i forgot about that until someone mentioned the song in class as part of Their project 💀 #but oh well i mean i was thinking about the playlist project bc it #seemed like the easiest ngl LMAO but nothing was rly jumping out at me for songs #granted when i was thinking about it my mind blanked to just like taylor even tho i definitely haven't only been listening to taylor XD #ANYWAY WORDS 700 WORDS #sigh maybe that 12-3am grind will hit lmfao #jeanne talks #FINALS WE CAN DO IT GOOD LUCK TO ALL OF YALL DOING FINALS SHIT ANDGJFHGDJKDJFK

[kalpasio]

hii

I asked me when you can upload a Kalpas fluff fanfic 😭😭 my heart misses him so much and i need content from him

hiiii!!!! I'm so sorry I haven't posted anything in so long, school has been kicking my ass lol

next week I have finals so I don't think I'll get any writing done this week, BUT

I'm like half way to 2/3 of the way through the mafia au fic (depending on how crazy I get) and I fully plan on either finishing that or writing one of the one shot requests I have not this weekend but the next. so assuming I dont just keel over, I'll try to have Kalpas fluff up soon!!!

#I really am sorry!!! #i am not as good at school as i would like to imagine lol #you dont need to know this but i have 2 finals on the first day (Wednesday) #and then ONE on the last day (Wednesday of the next fucking week) #so im cramming for those first two exams this week #and then after that ill have time #so rn the plan is: panic this week #take exam Wednesday #work on the mafia story Thursday and if i finish it ill type and edit it on Friday and post by Sat #if not then ill write up the one shot Saturday and post it sunday? #then whichever isnt finished ill do after my final on the 10th and ill be done with classes after that #so im REALLY HOPING i can go back to posting every week during the summer

[fantasiavii]

Sincerely could life just slow down for one minute

#all my hw is due today and i have done none of it #i’m working most of next week and next week is thanksgiving black friday chaos #at the same time as my final exams for this online class i’m in!!! #they’re generous and give you two weeks but bc i’m working so much i get like. four days #and the problem is every time i have a day off i’m supposed to use it to catch up on all the things i haven’t done #but i’m so fucking tired i just want to rest!!!