#and they were all anxiety nightmares

[observethewalrus]

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#got a message on fetlife from someone I haven’t seen in like 4 years #they’re trying to give away some really nice looking rope and it was nice of them to offer it to me even tho I don’t need any rn #they said theyre not involved in community stuff anymore cuz they’re focused on exploring kink with their partner #and goddamn if she ain’t living my dream #I haven’t been active in the community in YEARS #I’ve been to one or two munches since covid but that’s it #I spent years going to every dungeon party and class and munch I could think of #and they were all anxiety nightmares #if it wasn’t the anxiety of trying to make friends among people who already had their own very well defined friend groups #(literally no different than when I was in school) #then it was people who went after every single sub they met #who wanted a quick scene and then disappeared and moved onto the next one #when people did actually try and engage with me I never felt like we were on the same footing #it felt like I was being interviewed for a job and I got all the answers wrong #literally my dream is to have a partner to explore kink with #and still know they think about me as an actual person outside of kink too #I know it’s possible #I’ve known plenty of people in relationships like this over the years #but it feels like the kind of thing that always happens to other people #and I’m not meant for that #and I’m not saying kinky people aren’t nice #some of the nicest most talented most amazing people #I’ve ever met are kinky #it’s entirely me being a nervous wreck that made it so difficult for me to find my place in the community #personal

[e-adlirez]

So this scene in Cloud Castle exists

I love how Will’s answer for “why aren’t you seeing your nightmares in this place specifically designed to show you your nightmares” is “I go to therapy”

#geronimo stilton #thea stilton #thea sisters #one thing that either didn’t translate well or age well is how will gets thea to calm down #like he just says “concentrate” which #lord (and all people who deal with anxiety) knows how well that works #“try to concentrate” on WHAT the fact that MY WORST NIGHTMARE’S RIGHT THERE?? #also we never get the girls’ nightmares and what they were like smh #all we know is that vi was so scared she was reaching out to hold thea’s hand the moment she found her #so like #what did they SEE edipiemme #what did they SEE huh ‘:/

[deadmomjokes]

Child wakes up whimpering and going “NO!”

We rush in, ask what’s wrong, try to comfort her and calm her down. She bowls past us for the door.

“I know where all the flies are coming from! I have to get out of this room!”

Took us a good half hour of searching her room while she watched covering her ears and sniffling to get her back in the room at all.

Apparently the nightmares are still happening. :’( From what we could piece together through the sleep-grogginess and crying, this one involved hordes of big hairy flies gushing out of her pillow and mattress and flying into her ears to buzz in her brain.

Methinks it’s time to take her therapist up on the Emotional Support Animal thing....

#adventures of bean #this poor kid man #this is what happens when an anxiety disorder latches onto sleep as a trigger #she gets worried about sleeping because she's scared of hte nightmares #and then she has nightmares because she's all worked up #and then she has more fuel for the worry #i just hate it so much for her #she can't cosleep with me and her dad because we both have sleep disorders that require cpaps and it isn't safe #but she does best when someone else is in bed with her #like she's had nap sleepovers with friends when dad and i were down with pneumonia #and it went shockingly well #so she needs a roommate/bed buddy that's a living thing #the stuffies don't cut it #so on to the dog thing i guess #it's all we can think of #she's too small for meds #my heart just hurts for her so much....

[rosalinesurvived]

I wonder if Fukuzawa lives with the unending paranoia of there being four other government top-class swordsmen assassins alongside him who may or may not have been asked to murder their rouge ex-member.

#hey! do you wanna talk about the goken? i wanna talk about the goken! #he just dipped from the government! there are four other war murderers alongside him! where are they! #he killed for them! then he left! #but yeah i imagine that the months pre and post untold origins were like an anxiety-depressive minefield for fukuzawa #in my mind the goken scattered hard bc i dont want to think that they were all murdered by the government to keep them hush hush #i want them to interact with fukuzawa asagiri plz he needs semi-normalish friends his age #shitpost #bsd #bungo stray dogs #fukuzawa yukichi #president fukuzawa #bsd fukuzawa #the goken #he just has to go on knowing that at any point one of them could come and kill him for the crime of not liking the government/talking #its not as if the goken could be best buds he mustve known that even he couldve been powerless #and then he’s directly working with the government as shachou.. #he mustve been so paranoid and afraid #i wonder if he still sees himself as a goken. bc he’s still objectivley one of the greatest swordsmen and that cant dissapear overnight even #if he ditches the government. does he still think of himself as goken? does he have nightmares of them killing him? blood on his heels? #bsd the goken #bsd goken

[pepprs]

i know i need to shut up abt it esp bc i don’t know for sure if i actually got exposed to covid but like. it’s just so fucking frustrating and terrifying. not just in the case of covid but with other things too like driving. you can take every precaution to keep yourself and the people around you safe but all it takes is one selfish careless asshole who can negate that in a heartbeat and ruin your life or maybe even end it in some circumstances. lol

#purrs #ask to tag #complete and utter despair about it all. i feel like such a freak for telling everyone to be safe and be careful all the time but this world #is so fucking scary and we are so fucking helpless. how can i not cast out this desperate fucking plea. this prayer. that harm will not #befall you even if it’s something as small as a drive to the store or a trip to a new place. i just live in fear of the people i love #getting hurt all the time and of myself getting hurt. and covid is fucking scary because we still don’t fuckng know how bad it is really or #what it can do to you in the long term and there’s no way to know if you have it until you find out you have it bc this fucking nightmare #country gutted all the covid infrastructure so it’s like. it’s just really bad. im so scared. ive been so proud of myself lately bc i feel l #like even though im still not doing great ive been less miserable and anxious like a couple months ago i was having breakdowns almost daily #and i feel like ive been getting better and this just has thrown me so bad. there are other things going on too ofc so i know im reacting #really strong but like. throwback to all the asks i just answered where anons were like idk how you even function witb the amount of anxiety #you carry with you all the time and i was reading that like but not anymore! and it turns out… no it’s still there. it just was summer and #i interacted with fewer people and went almost nowhere. and now the semester is starting again and everything is changing and it’s just. bad #also addendum to the first part of my tags: i wish i was brave enough to ask ppl to like. text me when they get to their destination safe or #whatever. i almost never think of it bc it just seems like such a forward boundary crossing thing to do + it was a bad habit from when my #separation anxiety was MUCH worse as a kid. but like… i want o do it and sometimes i need to but i repress it so hard. lawl #also to say i love you sometimes. some ppl it’s really easy and we do it all the time. others i can’t bc it crosses boundaries and it #physically hurts not to. lolll

[craycraybluejay]

I had a nightmare that through some stupid glitch I accidentally gained like 2000 followers on a private social media account and I wasn't sure it was a dream so for a few hours there I really felt like kicking the bucket

#nightmares #sometimes i just wanna full disappear my internet presence #cleae out all my emails #and stop trying to do social media when it creates so much anxiety #humans were not built to take in this much conflicting information and verbal violence and watchfulness all the time #we were not built to be looked at by potentially millions of people #i like the stage as much as every showman but thats at most a few hours out of a day a few times a year #and i still get stage fright #i am a SEASONED stage performer ffs and my mouth still gets bone dry and i get a little weak in the knees every time #it is actively terrifying as it is exciting to have so many people's eyes on just you. to know without a doubt you are being watched #stage performance and social media are both like if the things social anxiety is telling people were true #it is no great wonder why virtue signaling and anxiety is so high especially in young people #the issue with 'all social media' isnt 'body image issues' thats usually instagram #the issue with it is the debilitating anxiety of being watched and constant depressing news

[hurglewurm]

why am i so plagued with nightmares. i watched a man open his mouth wide in sheer terror and then he turned grey and crumbled into ash. i watched his fractured trembling organs dissolve as his skin disappeared. like, is there,, is there a significance,,,

#i also dreamed that two of my friends were having a joint wedding celebration #and i was there but no one noticed blah blah basic shit #unfortunately the social anxiety/loneliness nightmares hit me a lot harder than the like #straight up horror movie imagery #alligates says things #yes this was all in one night there was another dream in between but i guess it was boring idk

[poptartmochi]

i would be so powerful if I could just make myself see a doctor about anxiety

#alas.. there is also anxiety about seeing the doctor about the anxiety 🍻 #anyways i am so. peeved ig? I'm so drained from work and i want to do something fun but literally there's like this very detached sense #of guilt about not being able to help our asshole customers 1000% that is killing my desire to do anything #some evil voice in the back of my head that's even like.. you think you deserve to ear after that? kys #which. what the fuck!! they were the rude ones and you KNOW they're sitting at home either a) not thinking about it or b) feeling smug abou #one-upping an overworked retail employee... 😐 nicki get UP! 😭😭😭 anyways circling back around to the original topic of the post #im so 🕴️🕴️ because what will happen when i see them again 😞 and i keep having nightmares about them and work. it's just so 😑 #and our other customers have given us very kind feedback + brought us donuts + complimented me on my professionalism lately but it literall #feels like white noise in comparison to these two smarmy fucks.. it should be the other way around 🤨🤨 #but i have the bnuuy's brain </3 alas. on a more positive note! despite the 🌪️ of the mind‚ i took relative care of myself today and put my #clothes away finally + tidied up my room 🏋🏻‍♀️ despite the dread we eke out some small victories in the day! this is how i must survive #🤼‍♀️🤼‍♀️🤼‍♀️ #anyways if y'all are following along with my work logs‚ i hope things are faring better for you! things will get better for us all in time #🫂🍻💃🏻!! #sriracha.txt #negative cw

[liebelesbe]

I need an emotional support friend who will hold my hand wherever I go 😔 & I'll go wherever they need to go and hold their hand too ofc

#one of the reasons i miss school #nobody went anywhere alone we were always in lil groups #one person needs to talk to a teacher? we're all waiting in front of the Lehrerzimmer dw #doddie redet #not being alone does wonders for my anxiety! embarrassing myself alone? nightmare awful worst thing that could happen #embarrassing myself in a group meaning we're all embarrassing ourselves the same amount? sure. bad but I'll survive. can make fun of it even

[catboyrightsdefender]

went to sleep earlier than usual and this resulted in insane dreams and nightmares

#.txt #first dream was fun i was living in some kind of huge af dorms in a big house (my room was a biiig library room for some reason. all the #books were mine). i was floor neighbours with a young robert de niro and we had some gay dynamic going on. the showers were in a common area #and we went at the same time bro had an insane body. then i put on a kilt a black tank top and my docs i looked soooooo swag. but while #exiting the building to go to class (robert de niro had offered me to drive me to uni) i saw my favorite high school teacher and he fucking #deadnames me 😡😡😡😡 #and after that i had a super anxiety inducing nightmare

[kil9]

man.... got out of my shitty old job got out of my shitty old house.... I think I am unstoppable

#99.txt #my old house.... became like a nightmare for me because im so scared of bugs especially centipedes #and it got to a point where a centipede would come to my room every single day and i just lived in constant anxiety #and literlly blood splatters on the wall like an insane person #they liked my house so much cos the basement walls were half filled with water at all times and generating mold #which i was also breathing at all times to become more insane #and it would flood the basement every time it rained lol.... so eventually the landlords ''fixed'' it #which meant stopping the water from leaking into the basement. but not from getting into the walls in the first place............... #so now there was no exit and the walls became MUCH MORE filled with water. #much more bugs and now you could even smell the mold from outside the house. #then on top of that the landlords go ''we're going to raise your rent in 3 months ^_^'' #by some insane ammount i dont remember #so we went ok......... goodbye #that & my work are examples of a bad situation needing to become an even worse situation to force me to leave sjfjskd 😐😐 #im so much happer now #HEY have u noticed i havent had a public internet breakdown in like ???? months or something ????? #i feel like i can think like a person haha >_< like a still kinda crazy person but........ jesus #my life has not been simple lmao

[areyoudoingthis]

rambling to my walls about how an adhd diagnosis actually provides a global explanation for every issue I've ever gone to therapy for or struggled inordinately with

#I've been in therapy for over a decade and there are still multiple things that i don't understand #i mean we all have trauma and i get mine #i know i have anxiety and I've learned how to deal with it #but what about all the rest???? #what about where it all came from (minus the specific trauma that's a result of environmental stuff like you were born into this family #godspeed to you) #why didn't anyone say hey have you considered you might have adhd that would give you a common thread for most of this stuff??? #how many mental health professionals have i seen over the years #ugh i do not want to have to switch therapists again that's a fucking nightmare from hell #alex txt

[elytrafemme]

i’ve made the executive judgement call that since consuming media i feel strongly about causes me issues with reality (like i start believing in shit or i get hyper paranoid etc) the natural conclusion is that i will assign all my favorite characters those exact problems. you fuck me up emotionally well babygirl now we’re hand in psychotic hand 

anyway that’s just my thoughts for the day GOODNIGHT ALL!!! <333

#nightmare.personal #ever since i finished watching AA my nightmares and anxiety and stuff have been off the rails #my brain has been driving me insane lately we were so close to figuring smth out but now it's. well i dunno what shit it's doing #tis the usual. i have a persistent problem i have temporary problems both ruin my life and i can figure out neither cue imposter syndrome #sorry i dunno what i'm saying i'm doin okay though :] gonna get some good sleeps in #had a pretty good day all things conisidered <3

[dani-the-toad]

i need money for therapy and its going to be 2 weeks worth this week because i wasnt sent money last week for it and i still didnt have a job and i am not starting my job until next week but i also really need money for this fucking framing and also other convention stuff that is pretty much in a week but i found an easy solution but it still costs money and i need to order it soon bc i need it by early next week and i need those stupid fucking plastic things so i can sell my prints without worry and business cards and so many fucking things but holy shit dude i am so stressed out because i hate asking for money from my dad even though he said hed help and i can just pay him back with con funds and head in hands. scream. what the fuck am i doing. im freaking the fuck out dude.

#toad rambles #waking up from a nightmare and then having an anxiety attack about all of this isnt like. great #i am always stressed about money and this isnt a cry for help this is a i woke up almost 2 hours ago now and im still having an anxiety atck #like. im sure if i ask itll be. fine???? i hope????? i literally dont know what else to do #i think i only need one frame. but like with everything im asking for today/this week its still like $250 with the fucking therapy too #like im nauseous from stress #but i dont fucking think the frame we were going to build will be done in time and i dont think itll work #ill ask if he knows somewhere to get one of those for cheaper #or ill trawl fb marketplave #ill do that rn actually #scream. im doing 😬👍

[marinecorvid]

on the endless list of things to do: work out scifi android/cyborg “nonexistent” govt agent who goes rogue and finds her way home to the desert beyond the broad strokes of it

#discussions of personhood. obvs #uhh there’s maybe a relationship between the main character and antagonist #in the sense that they definitely have something going on. unhealthy but it’s there #and then maybe with his daughter as well #OH tension between main chara and her long lost twin sister (well. SHES the long lost one buts who’s counting) #maybe bc of the whole android/cyborg thing… #like desert twin has had dreams of being an androiberg most of her life and perceives them as anxiety nightmares #but then meets her twin and realizes ohhh shit they were have shared psychic dreams #and mechanical twin used to have them blocked with neuron repressors but began having them again after they were deactivated/scraped out #umm not sure how much I want to keep the sotc/journey-esque forbidden lands #I don’t know how much it would fit with the Everything #but something about modern constructs meeting ancient constructs…… hm #might have to shelve the superhero/villain & gods aspect of it for now #reserve it for another story #maybe in the land of all verse (at least the god portions……) #re: the android/cyborg thing: she genuinely doesn’t know which one she is for a while #she starts the story out ‘knowing’ she’s an android #which lines up with all the mechanical implants and whatnot she has #(she also ‘knows’ she’s a prototype to see how extensive you could get with synthetic organic parts) #but eventually learns she’s actually base organic with a FUCK ton of hq alterations to make her seem like an android to others too

[poptartmochi]

it is the dreadposting hours ur honor

#we're in the cutting corners to survive era of our life rn and that's why we're looking for new insurance.. these past few years we've #hardly done medical things beyond the standard doctor/allergist/dentist visits so i'm partial to getting a plan with #low premiums bc 1. we can't afford to spend too much on it and 2. we haven't really needed it #BUT. while i'm looking at all of this the evil anxiety bug in my brain is like ah but. what if you were suddenly #diagnosed with.. THE DISEASE... i would like to pretend i do not see it #i'm nervous because. my dad puts my mom through so much shit that i worry something Could happen to her just on the basis of blood pressure #and stuff.. but i also worry that thinking about that kind of stuff makes it more likely to come true #fears aside.. girl i don't think any of my medications are approved under the plan i'm looking at which </3 agonies.. i think i would just #have to write to the insurance company or have a pcp write for me to get it approved? which hopefully isn't a big deal #but What If It Is.. i would die without fluocinolone O_O; i'm trying to get myself off of triam before my skin becomes addicted to it so #honestly it'd probably be more incentive to get off of it if i didn't have access to it.. but fluo is the only thing keeping me stable #right naurw ur honor <3 i should see if i can find my old receipts from the pharmacy to see how much it is without insurance #i remember when i used to get eucrisa.. it was like $900 without insurance and i was like. Ah. That's a Nightmare. :D so i hope the fluo #is cheaper.. i think it would be since the price was the original reason i got onto it anyways... :o much to consider #sriracha.txt #sorry for clogging up the dash i just have a lot of thoughts and fears wrt this stuff.. it feels a Lot More Adult than i am comfortable #handling if that makes sense?