#anthony beauvillier x oc

[laurenairay]

we’re lost and found - A. Beauvillier

Summary: “It’s always going to be you, Bells.”

One visit to Vancouver changes everything for the friendship of Anthony Beauvillier and Isabella Thornton.

A/N: This is my entry for @wyattjohnston​‘s birthday bingo!! I really hope you enjoy this Demi – I cycled through various combinations and players before I was happy with the following for Beau: trade angst, friends to lovers, playlists as a love language, “it’s always going to be you”, the morning after the night before. I haven’t written a full fic for Beau before so this was a fun challenge! And yes, I fudged the last game in the Canucks schedule for creative licensing. Happy birthday my dear 💛

Title from Wings, by Birdy. Here is the final playlist mentioned in the story. 

Words: 14k

Warnings: angst, miscommunication, sappy sweetness, idiots in love.

Thank you @cellythefloshie​ for being the most amazing beta and cheerleader while I was writing this!

*

“Cabin crew, prepare for landing. Ladies and gentlemen, we will shortly be arriving in Vancouver. Please ensure all hand luggage is stowed, tray tables are folded away, and your seatbelts are fastened.”

Even as her stomach swooped with the slow descent of the airplane, Isabella couldn’t stop the smile that spread across her face. She’d been up since the crack of dawn. Her first flight from JFK airport leaving at 7am, and with the layover stop in Seattle lasting one and a half hours, she was more than ready to be done with travelling for the day. It wasn’t that Isabella disliked flying though – she just wanted to be on solid ground. This trip was to be a mixture of business and pleasure; her work wanted her to go to an industry conference to support a couple of the Sales guys giving speeches, her marketing role allowing her that first-hand experience; the conference was scheduled from Tuesday 11th April to Thursday 13th April, but she had decided to fly in on the Saturday before, also taking a vacation day either side of the conference, to extend her time in Vancouver.

Why? Because one of her closest friends had moved from New York to Vancouver only a couple of months ago, and she missed him more than words could describe. It seemed like he felt the same way, because the moment Isabella had mentioned the conference and that she was able to take a couple of vacation days around it, he’d immediately offered for her to stay at his apartment, giving them the time to catch-up, to spend the time together like they hadn’t been able to in so long.

There was no universe in which she would ever say no to Anthony Beauvillier.

So here she was, Saturday 8th April, ready to spend some time with one of the most important people in her life. Soon enough the plane landed and made its way to the gate, allowing everyone to exit. Thankfully Isabella’s suitcase arrived quickly and her journey through security was smooth, so in no time at all she was walking out into the arrivals hall, eyes scanning the crowd of people.

And then she spotted him.

The moment Anthony noticed her too, smile spreading wide across his face, it felt like a breath of fresh air. Finally. Isabella wasted no time in rushing over to him, dropping her suitcase to throw her arms over his shoulders, Anthony hugging her just as tightly too. It was all she could do to bury her face in his neck, breathing in that familiar cologne as well as the scent that was just Anthony himself while he buried his face in her long dark hair.

She’d missed him. She’d missed him so much. Talking to him over the phone just wasn’t good enough. It wasn’t even close to replacing what it felt like to see and hold him in person. After what felt like eternity and yet somehow not long enough, she let him go, dropping her arms from around his neck, taking a single step backwards to look him up and down.

“Damn, you look good Beau! West-Coast Canadian air clearly does wonders for you,” she grinned, hamming up the compliments to make him squirm just as she liked.

A familiar light flush dusted his cheeks as he shook his head fondly. “Says the New York fashionista gracing us with her presence.”

Her tanned cheeks flushed too at his compliment, but she just laughed and batted at his chest before picking up her suitcase from where it had fallen on the floor. Flattery would always work with her and he knew it.

“I missed you,” Anthony said suddenly, smiling softly as he took the suitcase without saying a word.

Such a sweetheart.

“I missed you too. 10 weeks without you and my life is poorer for it,” Isabella said with a dramatic sigh.

Anthony blushed heavily this time, ducking his gaze, making her smile as she laughed. So cute.

“I know I’m mainly here for work, really, but I’m looking forward to spending the rest of my time with you,” she said, threading her arm through his.

“Me too. You’re going to have a great time, I promise.”

She knew she would, even just by being in his company, but she didn’t need to say that out loud.

With her arm still linked with his, Anthony guided her back to where he’d parked his car, lifting her suitcase into the trunk like the gentleman he was.

“Thank you for the new playlist for my flight, by the way,” Isabella said, wiggling her phone to show what she meant as she got into the front passenger seat.

“No problem, Bells, you know that. It’s our thing, right? It’s not like I could let you travel out here for the first time without a new list to listen to,” Anthony shrugged, starting the engine.

From the small smile on his lips, she knew he was far from nonchalant. He was right too – making playlists for each other really was their thing. When she’d started hanging out with him and Mat and some of the other Isles boys, Isabella and Anthony had bonded over their shared love of music, sharing recommendations on Spotify almost immediately. Making playlists started with creating background music for parties held at their various apartments, but, for whatever reason, over time it grew into the two of them making playlists just for each other. She’d lost count of the number of playlists she’d made him for his long travels on the road, and the amount of study playlists he’d made for her were in the dozes over all her college years. Then there were birthdays, holidays, vacations abroad as a group, and just general ‘you seem down, let me cheer you up’ playlists.

Making playlists for each other was something that Isabella and Anthony had made into something that was just theirs, and she treasured it.

“I loved the Twenty One Pilots songs you chose,” she said, smiling.

“Catchy, right?” Anthony mused, “I wasn’t sure about those Bastille songs though.”

The vibes of these playlists of important, they both knew that. But like always, he’d nailed it.

“They were perfect. The whole list was great, I promise,” Isabella insisted.

This time, his pleased smile shone through. She loved that he loved putting together all these songs just for her – the same way that she loved doing it for him. Was it wrong to cherish something with him that was hers and hers alone?

The drive to Anthony’s apartment felt like it flew by as they continued to talk about the music they’d both been listening to lately, and soon enough she was walking through the front door of his apartment.

“We’ve got a couple of hours before I need to leave for the arena and then you’ll still have a few hours before you should leave to head down too, so plenty of time for you to settle into the guest room and unpack your stuff. I’ve got a fabric steamer if you need them for your conference clothes?” Anthony explained, locking the front door behind them.

The thought he put into everything was astounding.

“I probably will need to steam out some creases at some point,” she mused, thinking of the three blazers she’d packed, “But that can wait until Monday night. How about you give me a tour?”

There was no way she wanted to think about anything to do with work until she absolutely had to. The next couple of days were all about relaxing. Sure, Anthony would be flying out for two games in California tomorrow, but that just meant she wanted to make the most of the time she had with him.

As he showed her around the two-bed apartment, Isabella could admit that it was pretty sparse. At least compared to the apartment he had in New York – but he’d only been here just over two months, so she knew she couldn’t expect him to have fully settled in yet. She could only hope that he was going to give himself the chance to settle in properly, especially since the Canucks season was technically over.

Sure, they still had four games left to play, including tonight’s, but mathematically they were already out of the playoffs. Isabella could only imagine how that felt for him. It was something that they hadn’t really discussed, if she was being honest. The trade was a sensitive subject in their friendship group, and she hadn’t known how to ask how Anthony felt about it when the trade had first been announced. But she worried about him, being out here all by himself. How could she not?

At least there were elements of his personality in the apartment, a framed poster here, photos of his family there, silly polaroids of their friendship group in New York on the fridge with magnets. It was enough to settle the worst of her concerns, and by the time she’d dumped her bags in the spare bedroom he’d declared was hers for the week, she noticed that the edge of tension had melted away from him too.

“I know it’s not much yet but…”

“But nothing, Beau,” Isabella interrupted, smiling as she leant against the doorframe, “You’ve only been here a short while – you’ll make this a home in no time.”

“You think?” he asked, his hesitance obvious.

Well that wouldn’t do.

“I know. Now come on, feed me before you need to leave for the game,” she said firmly.

“That’s the Bells I know,” he snickered.

Isabella just laughed at the accuracy – he really did know her - before sticking out her tongue at him and making him laugh. There was the smile she loved.

Isabella took a quick shower while Anthony cooked them lunch, an easy healthy chicken stir fry, and all too soon it was time for him to leave her alone. While she felt a tiny sense of trepidation about being in a new city all by herself, she knew that she only had a little time to kill before she was going to see him again anyway, so she pushed it down as much as she could.

“You’ve got the phone numbers of people at the arena to call if there’s an emergency, right?” Anthony asked, pulling on his suit jacket.

“I can 99% guarantee you that there will be no emergencies in the two hours before I leave here too. But yes I have them – so go, Beau!” Isabella giggled.

He held up his hands in surrender but smiled down at her anyway, kissing her on the cheek before he walked out the door. Isabella sighed softly, fingers rising to brush over the same skin his lips had brushed, smiling fondly. That was a particular tradition she’d missed as well, the casual affection he’d always shown her. She didn’t know if it was a Québécois thing, or just an Anthony thing, but she’d missed it all the same. It was sweet, just like everything he did.

As she settled in on the sofa, she sent out a few text messages to let various people know she’d arrived safely; some of her friends at work, Mat, her mom. She’d fully intended on ignoring the replies, knowing nothing urgent would be coming through, but when she saw 5 notifications from Mat, she opened up their text thread out of curiosity.

~

From: Mat Bells! You made it! Beau has been buzzing all morning. Give him a kiss from me. After he’s kicked some Flames ass obvi.

~

This guy. Isabella rolled her eyes fondly, smiling at the energy she could read even in his words, before biting her bottom lip. Anthony had been buzzing? He hadn’t seemed that way to her – sure, he was happy to see her, all smiles and long hugs, but buzzing? Hm.

~

From: Isabella I’ll pass along your kiss, weirdo. He seemed pretty chill to me?

~

From: Mat That’s because he got all of his crazy energy out by texting me. You know he wants your trip to be amazing. You are going to his game tonight, right?

~

From: Isabella If you say so Barzy. I wouldn’t miss his game for the world.

~

Mat didn’t text back again, so Isabella just chalked down the strange exchange to him missing his friend too. Still…no. Barzy was being Barzy, and that’s all there was to it. The two hours after Anthony left flew by, Isabella just getting herself lost in a good book, and it wasn’t long before she was walking towards her seat in the arena. Along with leaving a new Canucks jersey (with his name on the back, of course) for her in the hall closet, Anthony had left her ticket at will call, which she picked up easily after the uber she took dropped her right out front. Just as she’d requested when he had asked, she was in the bottom tier but at the back – she didn’t want anything ostentatious – and with an overpriced beer in hand, she took her seat.

Right from the start, the game was a nail biter. She cheered at the top of her lungs as Pettersson and McWard scored for the Canucks with all the supporters around her. Only for her to be left wincing when Lindholm and Kadri scored for the Flames in the third period, on the edge of her seat as the game finished out at 2-2. She could see the frustration in the team’s faces, let alone in their body language, and the moment that the shootout started her heart was pounding in her chest.

As soon as Kuzmenko scored the winning goal, Isabella leapt to her feet yelling in celebration with the crowd around her, the biggest smile on her face as the team celebrated on the ice. What a way to end of the game.

There was no rush she’d ever felt like watching a hockey game live in person - and now she was lucky enough to go congratulate her friend face to face rather than over text. Arriving early ahead of her conference really had been such a good idea. Anthony had texted her the instructions for how to get down to the tunnel to wait for him, so she followed those after the stands had emptied out a bit, not wanting to fight through the crowd. At the very least it meant she didn’t have to wait as long in the tunnel by herself, and soon enough Anthony was walking out to meet her, shy smile on his face.

Shy? No, that wouldn’t do.

“Beau! Congratulations!” she said cheerfully, loudly enough to draw a bit of attention to them and to get that familiar blush she loved to see rising on his cheeks.

“You enjoyed it then?” he mused.

There was enough hesitance in his voice to let her know he needed her reassurance, and she wasted no time in hugging him tightly, smiling as he immediately hugged her back.

“I had the best time. Talk about a nail biter!” she laughed, pulling back just far enough to look up at his face, “You know I love watching you play.”

The rosiness of his cheeks let her know that her honesty had been the right thing to say.

“I’m just glad you’re here,” Anthony murmured, squeezing her slightly before letting his arms drop.

“Ooh, wait, there’s something I need to give you,” she said quickly, clutching at his hands.

Anthony froze slightly, but made the most interesting gasping noise as she leaned up on her tiptoes and pressed a big wet smacking kiss on his cheek.

“W-What?”

Isabella just grinned, letting go of him. “That is from Barzy.”

Anthony’s smile seemed to falter slightly before he huffed out a laugh. “Of course. That sounds like him. I’ll have to text him to say thanks.”

Isabella snickered. At least their mutual friend couldn’t say she didn’t pass along his message. That’s what friends were for!

“What’s the plan now then?” she asked, tilting her head slightly.

“It’s up to you, really. A few of the guys are going out for drinks if you wanted to go too? It’s not going to be a crazy one because we are flying out to LA tomorrow, but it might be fun for you to meet some of the team? But if you’re tired from travelling then we can absolutely just head back to my place,” he explained.

The hopeful look in his eyes made her smile. He really wanted her to meet his new team, didn’t he? He wanted her to like them – it was important to him, she could tell. So there was only one answer she could give.

“Let’s go out for a couple of drinks then! Maybe if jetlag finally hits we could leave early?” she suggested.

She had been awake since 3.30am after all, having left for the airport at 4am. Relaxing for a couple of hours ahead of the adrenaline of the game had helped keep her going, but she knew it would hit her at some point. But meeting his new team was important to Anthony, so she wanted to do what she could, even if it wasn’t her at 100%.

“Perfect. You just let me know whenever and we can head out,” he said firmly.

Such a sweetheart.

In the end, she lasted around two hours before she felt her social battery dipping into dangerously low levels, starting to space out of conversation even though she’d only had two vodka sodas, and in no time at all Anthony was guiding her through the front door of his apartment all over again. His teammates had been so sweet – at least the ones that she’d met tonight – and seeing the smile that all their interactions put on Anthony’s face filled her heart. Even after 10 weeks, it was clear that he’d found a good space for himself here, just as he deserved to and just as she’d hoped. Brock, Petey, Quinn, Thatcher, Travis and Ethan, along with their partners (those that had them) were all so friendly and welcoming, and she’d enjoyed telling stories about her time in New York with Anthony, as well as hearing how well he was settling into the team in Vancouver.

It had been everything she’d wanted for the first day of her visit – what more could she have asked for?

“Okay I’ve got cold bottles of water in the fridge or I picked up that brand of peppermint tea that you like,” Anthony said, breaking her out of her thoughts.

Peppermint tea?

“You don’t drink peppermint tea, Beau,” she frowned, “you bought it especially for me?”

“Well, yeah, Bells. Of course I did,” he shrugged, although a light blush hit his cheeks.

This guy.

“Peppermint tea would be great,” she said softly, still a little stunned that he went through the trouble for her.

What a perfect way to wind down. The two of them sat on the sofa while she drank her tea and he drank a bottle of water, talking about all the things Anthony wanted to buy for the apartment when he came back next season (a couple of throw rugs, art for the hallway walls, a new smoothie maker, and so on). It felt like they were back in New York, like no time had passed and nothing had changed, which only made her heart pang a little more when it was eventually time to go to bed. She was flagging, hard, and he had an early start tomorrow, as much as she didn’t want this little bubble to end.

“Good night, Bells,” Anthony murmured, leaning against the doorway to the spare bedroom.

“Good night, Beau,” she murmured back, not wanting to break the moment as those blue eyes caught with her own dark brown ones.

He smiled softly, leaning forward to press a kiss to the top of her head before he walked down the hallway to his own room, leaving her feeling like she was floating on air.

What a first day indeed.

*

“Wakey wakey eggs and bakey!”

Isabella groaned at the loud sound of her best friend’s voice, eyes blearily looking over to where he was standing in the open doorway.

“What?” she groaned, “What are you doing?”

“First of all, I tried knocking, like, three separate times. Second, I made eggs and bacon and toast, duh. Breakfast, remember? Before I fly out with the team?” he teased.

Oh fuck, yeah of course. How could she forget? Anthony took one look at the expression on her face and burst out laughing.

“There’s also coffee. Clearly you need some,” he snickered.

Rude. Accurate, but rude. Isabella flipped him the bird, making him laugh harder, but at least he left her alone to deal with her bedhead. Her natural curls were a pain in the mornings, especially without taking a shower to deal with them properly, so she just threw them up on top of her head into a loose bun while she headed to the bathroom. She’d already decided she would be straightening her hair for her conference, for ease through those long days, but for now this would have to do. It wasn’t like Anthony hadn’t seen her looking worse.

After quickly washing and dressing into leggings and an oversized sweater, Isabella headed out into the kitchen, wordlessly accepting the coffee mug that Anthony pressed into her hands with a smile. Mmm perfect.

“Thanks for this, Beau. You’re amazing,” she murmured happily.

Interestingly, the back of Anthony’s neck flushed red, his back turned to her as he plated up their food.

“It’s just coffee, Bells,” he said, shrugging.

No it wasn’t and he knew that.

“Okay, scrambled eggs, crispy bacon, and wholemeal toast, bon appétit.”

“Merci beaucoup.”

Anthony grinned at her attempt at French, Isabella just grinning back.

“So what are you going to do today and tomorrow? Your conference doesn’t start until Tuesday, right?” he asked, scooping up some eggs with his toast.

“I’m not going to do much, I won’t lie,” she mused, earning a grin, “I might take a walk around your neighbourhood today, maybe find a coffee shop or something? And then just a chilled night in, probably with take-out. Tomorrow though…hm, I probably need to do my nails before the conference so I’ll either pop out to buy some nail polish or I’ll book an appointment in a salon? If the weather is nice I might get lunch out, have a walk in downtown, see the sights? And I do want to get a bit of preparation work done before everything starts on Tuesday, ahead of watching your game against the Kings.”

She’d had enough time on her flights to plan at least a few things at least anyway. What? Isabella liked to be prepared.

“You don’t have to watch my game if you’re busy with work,” Anthony frowned.

What?

“Beau, in what world would I not watch one of your games?” she asked, confused.

“I just…I mean, I…”

He trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck, only confusing her further.

“It’s hard enough that I don’t get to see you anymore. Watching your games is the closest thing I have,” she said, frowning.

The look that passed across his face could only be described as devastation. “Fuck, Bells, you can’t just say things like that,” he said softly.

“Why not? I mean it, Beau. You’re one of my best friends. I love watching you play, you know that,” she said simply.

Anthony smiled slightly at her, but it looked strained. “I know you are. And I appreciate that more than you know.”

“But?” she prompted.

He hesitated for a moment, before letting out a shaky laugh and shaking his head. “But it’s too early and neither of us have had enough caffeine,” he deflected.

Isabella narrowed her eyes but took a big gulp of her coffee in response, making him laugh and roll his eyes fondly.

“Never change Isabella Thornton,” he mused.

“Oh ouch, full name. Definitely too early for that,” she said, grimacing dramatically.

Anthony just laughed louder.

In the end, the rest of her Sunday was spent exactly as she described to him. After he left, giving her a long lingering hug in the hallway after leaving her a spare key, she did in fact wander around his neighbourhood, taking in the cutesy local park and little shops, spending a couple of hours in a coffee shop with the book she’d started reading the previous afternoon. It was a good way to spend a time, nice and chilled exactly how she liked her downtime.

Before he’d left too, Anthony had given her the rundown of his favourite local restaurants, including an amazing Thai place that she knew she had to try – so that night, before taking a shower to sort out her wayward hair, she placed a takeaway order. Isabella hadn’t been able to decide between the panang beef curry with jasmine rice and the tofu pad see ew, so in the end she’d ordered both. Whatever she didn’t eat, she would eat tomorrow after her first day at the conference finished, ahead of watching Anthony play against the Kings. It was just logical, right?

By the time she had her curls plopped up in an old t-shirt, ahead of straightening them when they were fully dry in the morning, the food had arrived. The smell of both dishes was heavenly – she’d have to thank Anthony for his recommendation for sure.

Her phone buzzed twice. Beau 💛. Speak of the devil.

~

From: Anthony Heading out to team dinner soon. Hope you didn’t get lost wandering around today?

~

Isabella barked out a laugh at the very idea of her just wandering around lost and not telling him, but found herself smiling anyway. He was concerned about her – so sweet, as always.

~

From: Isabella No I didn’t get lost. Thanks for checking though. Just ordered myself some take-out actually!

~

She included a selfie of her holding up one of the take-out boxes, pulling a ridiculous duck face pout to hopefully make him laugh. It was far from the first time the two of them had exchanged silly photos, and she doubted it would be the last. While she waited for a response, she forked some noodles into her mouth, clicking on the TV to find some entertainment for the rest of her evening.

Three buzzes.

~

From: Anthony The Thai place! Great choice! Kinda wish I was eating that with you rather than the steakhouse we’re heading too lol. You look very cute and comfy.

~

She found her cheeks heating up with a light blush at his last words, quickly shaking her head to rid herself of any ridiculous thought. He didn’t mean it like that. He just didn’t.

~

From: Isabella Thank you for recommending the place, it’s SO good. Nah you enjoy the steakhouse Beau!

~

She didn’t expect to hear back from him, not with the game starting so soon, but the simple ‘xxx’ he sent her made her whole body warm. This guy, seriously.

Isabella knew how lucky she was to have a friend like him in her life. Unapologetically kind and sweet, always had her back, never failed to make sure that she was happy. Anthony was one of a kind, a true gentleman, and the fact that their chance friendship had turned into such an important part of her life was something she cherished.

She’d still been in college when they’d met, a mutual friend dragging her along to a party, and ever since that first night they’d just clicked. It didn’t make sense, not really, their worlds having very little crossover. But Isabella knew back then that all of that didn’t matter, proven by the fact that they stayed closed when she graduated college, stopping going to 99% of the parties, and Anthony stayed up in the show, proving himself night after night.

And now she was here – in his home in Vancouver while he was away, curled up on his sofa with his blanket draped around her. If anyone had told her five years ago that this is where she would be, she probably would’ve laughed – in what dreams was she going to build such a strong friendship with a handsome young NHL player? But this was her reality, it did happen, and there was no way she was letting him drift away, especially now that he’d moved so far away.

Isabella sent Anthony a text before she turned herself in for an early night, knowing she’d need to be up early to give herself the time to straighten her hair properly in the morning. It took less than 30 seconds to get a response back from him, making her laugh softly at his eagerness as she slipped into the guest bed.

~

From: Anthony Sweet dreams! 💛

~

She tried not to think too hard about how the little heart gave her butterflies.

*

Monday passed quicker than Isabella thought it would. Just as she’d told him – just as she’d planned – she treated herself to a manicure in a salon downtown as well as treated herself to a lunch out near the Quayside Marina, going for a walk along the waterfront before she did some prep work for her conference. It was only last minute checks of the presentations she would be part of, but she knew it would allow her to sleep easier without the what-if anxiety playing on her mind.

Along with eating the remaining Thai take-out and taking the time to straighten her thick curls ahead of the conference the next day, Isabella also watched Anthony play against the Kings on his stupidly big TV. The 3-0 loss made her ache inside, especially with how dejected the team looked even through the screen, and the moment that he texted her to ask if he could call, she didn’t hesitate to call him first.

His patented Sad Beau face made her ache even more, and it was all she could do to try to comfort him. She hated when he looked as sad as he did after this loss, the wear and tear of the season bearing down on him, but she wasn’t going to miss the chance to at least attempt to make him feel better. If she could help just a little bit, ease that sadness, then she would – seeing him look all soft with his fluffy hair and glasses in his hotel room was motivation enough.

The sweet smile she managed to drag out of him by the time they said goodnight was everything she could’ve hoped for.

All too soon, Tuesday 11th rolled around, and Isabella walked into the hotel the conference was being held in with her work laptop and an air of confidence she only partially-felt. Usually she had no problem talking to people – give her a bar or a party or a restaurant or even a casual barbecue and she could chat away for hours. But when it mattered? When the opinions of the people she talked to about their impression of her would be a deciding factor in whether her company would get their business in the coming year? It was terrifying.

But she was dressed the part, wearing her grey bodycon dress and black blazer like armour, her hair pin straight and her make-up perfect, and that gave her the boost to be able to fake her she was feeling.

At least her two Sales colleagues couldn’t tell how nervous she was when the three of them set up the company booth. By the time they were finished setting up, people were still walking in, so Isabella volunteered to grab them all a coffee. She hadn’t had time for her usual caffeine intake before she’d left for the conference – something she was definitely going to make sure she did ahead of Day Two – so this was more of an excuse to be able to wake herself up properly, to make sure she stayed at her best on this opening day.

Just as she returned to the booth and passed out the requested coffee, her phone buzzed. Beau 💛

~

From: Anthony Good luck today! Kick some ass!

~

Oh how sweet. Even though he undoubtedly had a late night after playing the Kings yesterday and travelled to Anaheim today at some point too, he was thinking about her?

~

From: Isabella I will do my best to kick ass, metaphorically. Good luck to you too! And kick some actual ass yourself! I’ll be watching the game tonight at yours again.

~

From: Anthony 💛 💛 💛

~

Again, his response came through incredibly quickly, making her think he was just waiting for her to text him. Why would he do that? Surely he had better things to do than wait around for her to text him?

And why did he only text three hearts?

Isabella found herself completely lost in thoughts, overthinking everything he could mean and everything he likely didn’t mean, and everything in between. It wasn’t like her to overanalyse every interaction with Anthony, but maybe it was the Vancouver air, or the fact that they’d been separated for the longest time in years. She honestly didn’t know where it was coming from, and she hated how uncertain it all made her feel. What was he playing at? Why was he acting like this, now? Was she just reading too much into it?

“Uh, Isabella?”

A deep voice to her left broke her out of her spiral, and she jumped slightly at the hand awkwardly waving in front of her face.

“Sorry Jerry, the caffeine hasn’t kicked in yet,” she said, forcing a laugh, “What’s up?”

He just laughed, taking her lie without question. “We need to go set up for the presentation. We’re up first today, remember?”

“Of course, let me grab my laptop,” she nodded.

It was simple enough to set-up and get the presentation going, if she was being honest, just clicking through the presentation slides while he was talking on stage (and their other colleague was manning the booth), and it allowed her to drift along on auto-pilot, only needing to focus on his talk and the screen in front of her. Thankfully she only needed to give input on one question he was asked in the Q&A portion, and she found herself smiling as everything finished to a hearty applause, accepting Jerry’s subtle high-five with a laugh.

The rest of the conference went smoothly, Isabella mainly able to listen to the other speeches given and take notes to feed back to the executive board while her Sales colleagues focused on schmoozing other attendees. It was one of the perks of being a marketing team member at a conference – outside of the presentations, the pressure really was off her. And at least her two colleagues this time were decent guys, rather than some of the assholes she’d been paired with before, so she didn’t hesitate to accept joining them at the after-drinks. With the conference finishing at 3pm, she allowed herself a few hours to relax and drink a couple of cocktails, but as soon as it hit 6pm she was in an uber on the way back to Anthony’s apartment. There was no way she was going to miss his game, not even if she’d had one of the best cranberry martinis she’d ever drank.

By the time the game started at 7pm, Isabella was dressed in her pyjamas was a bowl of pasta in her lap, willing the team to have a better result than the night before. For Anthony’s sake, if nothing else. And what a game it was. The moment that the buzzer sounded, ending the game with a 3-2 win over the Ducks, Isabella’s face hurt from smiling, and she wasted no time in reaching for her phone and thumbing open her message thread with Anthony.

~

From: Isabella YESSSSSS! Go Canucks! I’m so proud of you Beau. What a great game. 3-2 baby! I know you’re probably going out for drinks or dinner or whatever with the team. But call me when you get back to your hotel?

~

Isabella lost track of time while she waited for him to respond, distracting herself with washing up all the things she’d used to make dinner as well as doing her night-time facecream routine, so by the time her phone buzzed with a video call request, she was sitting on her bed up against the pillows. The moment that his smiling face appeared on her screen, something settled in her chest that she didn’t realise she was holding onto. He already looked so much happier than when they spoke the night before, and she found herself sinking against the headboard with a smile of her own.

“Hello Beau,” Isabella said fondly, “That’s the smile I like to see.”

“Hey Bells. You like my smile?”

She blushed at his teasing words, but powered through. “You know I do. Happy Beau is much better than Sad Beau.”

“I wasn’t Sad Beau.”

“You were sad enough,” she mused.

He just huffed out a laugh, shaking his head.

“No-one else calls me out like you do.”

Her breath hitched in his throat at his words, making her hesitate slightly before answering. “Is that a good thing?”

“It’s a very good thing. You help remind me to keep the bad balanced with good, that there’s still positive things in my life even when everything feels like shit. I appreciate that more than you know.”

She resolutely ignored the butterflies flaring in her stomach, the smile spreading across her face again conveying more than enough.

“Well that’s what friends do, right?”

“Yeah. Friends. Exactly.”

The way his smile flickered at that must’ve been a technical glitch in the call, surely.

They continued to talk for nearly another hour, losing themselves in easy conversation as they always did, until Isabella noticed Anthony started yawning, even as subtle as he was attempting to be in hiding it behind his hand.

“Hey, Beau, I’ll let you get some sleep yeah?” she murmured.

“What? No, I’m fine, really.”

Isabella laughed softly, shaking her head with a fond smile. “You played an intense game today and you have an early flight tomorrow. Get your beauty rest.”

He smiled through the screen, eyes half-lidded with tiredness.

“Okay, if you insist. I’ll see you after your conference finishes, yeah?”

“Absolutely. I can’t wait,” she grinned.

“Me too. Goodnight, Bells.”

“Goodnight Beau.”

When the call ended, Isabella took a moment to indulge in the sweetness of his smile before shaking herself out of her silly thoughts. Was it so wrong to enjoy the way he looked at her sometimes? Surely not. Besides, he wouldn’t smile at her if he didn’t mean it – he’d said as such, how much he appreciated her. She could always work with that. With a b out of inspiration, Isabella grabbed her personal laptop and opened up spotify, ready to make Anthony a playlist for his flight home in the morning. He deserved to have his good mood continue, to arrive back with nothing but positivity in his veins. This was something she’d done dozens of times before, and it didn’t take her long to put together a list of songs nearly two hours long that would hopefully put a smile on his face. She put a few final touches to the playlist with Shake it off by Taylor Swift, Shut Up and Dance by WALK THE MOON, and Come on Eileen by Dexy’s Midnight Runners, finding herself smiling at the good mood she had curated. Done. Perfect.

~

From: Isabella Sleep well Beau. Looking forward to seeing you again tomorrow! I made you a playlist for the flight – positive vibes only.

~

From: Anthony You’re the best. See you tomorrow. 💛

*

Day Two of the conference – Wednesday 12th – found her dressed in a pretty lilac shift dress with a grey blazer of the top, another immaculate set of armour allowing her to get stuck into the networking that was happening in between all of the speeches and presentations. Isabella mostly let the Sales guys do their thing, but she was able to contribute a bit more with people who approached their company booth, supporting the discussions by using examples of the campaigns she’d personally ran. At least, she felt confident enough with the approving nods and the handshakes exchanged with potential clients. Anthony’s flight had landed mid-morning, right on schedule, and he'd very sweetly messaged her the moment he arrived home. So instead of attending drinks again when the conference finished, she headed straight back to Anthony’s apartment. She didn’t feel bad skipping out of the social time, mainly because it mattered more for the Sales guys to be there, but also because she desperately wanted to spend her limited time with Anthony while she still could.

“Bells!”

Anthony’s happy shout combined with the way he rushed over to her and lifted her up in his arms, spinning her around seconds after she shut the front door behind her let her know she’d made the right decision.

“Anyone would think you were happy to see me, Beau,” she giggled, clutching at him tightly.

Anthony just grinned, shrugging apologetically as he lowered her back down to the floor, although his cheeks had a light flush to them.

“Of course I’m happy to see you. It felt weird knowing you were finally in Vancouver but I wasn’t actually there myself,” he said simply.

Yeah she could understand that.

“I missed you too,” she murmured, shrugging off her blazer and hanging it up on the coatrack.

Isabella raised an eyebrow as Anthony’s ran over her formal lilac dress, taking her in like he’d never seen her before.

“I suppose it’s not the clothes you’re used to, hm?” she mused.

Strangely, her words made him jump slightly, as if she broke him out of his thoughts.

“What?”

“The dress?” she teased, “I know I don’t usually wear them this formal, but come on it’s not that bad.”

“No, uh, not bad at all. Definitely not used to you wearing them,” he said quickly, nodding as he blushed a little heavier, “You look great though.”

“Thanks Beau,” she grinned.

What a sweetheart. Even if he was still blushing.

“Thanks for the playlist by the way. It really helped me get through the flight this morning,” Anthony said, heading towards the kitchen.

Isabella followed him with a smile, that smile widening as he wordlessly handed her a cold bottle of water from the fridge, nudging him with her shoulder in thanks.

“It was the least I could do. Besides, the good vibes in the songs gave me good vibes too,” she shrugged.

“Great vibes – especially that last song,” he grinned.

“Come on Eileen is a classic for a reason,” she said seriously, making him laugh just like she knew it would.

They talked about day two of her conference as they chose what take-out to order for dinner – they settled on Vietnamese, including summer rolls, beef brisket phở, and tiger prawn curry noodles, settling on the sofa while they waited for it to arrive. It was only then that the conversation took a heavier turn, as Anthony suddenly looked exhausted down to his bones, and not just physically.

“What’s going through your head? What’s wrong?” Isabella asked softly, resting her hand on his forearm briefly to capture his attention.

“I feel like I failed this year,” Anthony said quietly.

What?

“I’m sorry, what?” Isabella asked, confused.

“The team didn’t make the playoffs. The season is over and I just…I failed, right? The Canucks haven’t made the playoffs for the 8th year in a row and the Islanders did make it, so clearly they were right to trade me, and I just…I don’t know what to do.”

His rant flew from his mouth faster than she had ever heard him speak before, and the sadness entrenching every word made her heart ache in the worst way. He really felt like this? Like he was a failure? How long had he been hiding his self-deprecating emotions like this?

“You did not fail. You are not a failure. You’re just one guy, Beau,” she said firmly. “You didn’t ask for this trade, not in the slightest, and you’ve made a good solid start for yourself here. The Canucks needed you and you gave them a boost of course, but it is so not on you. Do you think Petey and Brock and Quinn and literally everyone else feel like you let them down?”

“No,” he admitted softly.

“Then don’t let yourself feel like that. Yeah, it sucks. Not making the playoffs is everything you didn’t want to happen. But you guys are way too talented for it not to build up for next season. You are far too talented, Anthony Beauvillier, and it will work out,” she finished.

“Ouch, full name,” he said with a weak smile.

She just batted his shoulder lightly with a hand, pursing her lips. “I mean it, okay? You worked hard and this year it just didn’t work out. I have full faith that things will click for you next year.”

Anthony hesitated for a second, before letting out a shaky sigh.

“I might just have to let your faith be the only faith for a little while,” he said softly.

Her frown softened to a gentle smile, and she squeezed the shoulder that she batted only moments before.

“If that’s what you need, then that’s fine. My faith in you isn’t going anywhere. You have one final game to play, right? So you go out there and you show them what you’ve got. Show yourself. I’ll be watching with imaginary pompoms,” she mused.

“Can I get you real pompoms? Maybe a cheerleader skirt too?” he grinned.

That was the Anthony she knew.

“You are pushing your luck. Keep that in your dreams,” she snickered.

Interestingly, he blushed furiously at her words, making her laugh. What a reaction.

It didn’t take much longer for their Vietnamese take-out to arrive and they settled as easily as ever next to each other on the sofa, sharing all the dishes in a way that felt so effortless, a reminder of the life they led back in New York. Anthony switched on an old favourite action movie while they were eating, just something to play in the background while they ate and talked and enjoyed each other’s company, and Isabella didn’t hesitate to seamlessly transition that into cuddling on the sofa when the take-out boxes were empty.

She did ignore the butterflies in her stomach flaring up as his thumb brushed her bare shoulder though. No, tonight was about Anthony, giving him comfort, not about her ridiculous notions.

*

The last day of her conference, Day Three – Thursday 13th – started with Anthony joining her for coffee and breakfast. She knew he had no real reason to get up early with her, but she appreciated the sweet gesture nonetheless. As she caught an uber over to the hotel conference hall, her mind was reeling from the sleepy smiles he sent her way, even more so with the soft parting kiss he pressed to her cheek as she said goodbye to him.

Why now? Why were all the feelings she’d fought so hard to bury surfacing out now?

But Isabella didn’t have time to get lost in her thoughts. She wouldn’t let herself – couldn’t let herself. No, all she allowed herself to do was to brush her shaky hands down her navy blue sheath dress and matching navy blazer as she walked into the hotel before she threw up her confident walls, greeting her colleagues with a practiced smile.

She already knew that the last day of the conference would be mostly final presentations and speeches, so she let them consume her, taking notes as diligently as she was able to be able to report back to her bosses. It was a blessing in disguise really, letting her work monopolise her mind, and she found herself swept up in the last rounds of networking with a genuine smile on her face. In all honesty, the conference had been a success – her Sales colleagues had garnered all of the business and attention they were meant to, and her contributions had been smooth and fruitful. That didn’t mean she stayed around for the final night of drinks though.

No, when the conference talks finished at 3pm, she caught an uber straight back to Anthony’s apartment, ready to go to the final Canucks game tonight. The game started at 7pm so she had more than enough time to shower, eat a little something while she dried her natural curls, and change into comfy jeans and Anthony’s jersey. He was already at the arena by the time she’d arrived back at his after packing up the company stand, so she caught an uber down to the game again.

Same as last time, he had left her a ticket at will call. She had asked for a ticket in the stands rather than in the box. It was just the atmosphere she wanted to surrounded by, the sight of him upclose being a welcome bonus. By the time she was heading down to her seat with an overpriced beer in her hand, it was time for warmups, and as she watched the Canucks skate out to excited cheers, she found her seat right by the glass.

Of course, of course he got her glass-side seats. Isabella rolled her eyes softly but found herself smiling anyway. Anthony always was so thoughtful, and this evening was no different. She caught his eyes as he skated past her and she waved enthusiastically at him, ignoring the looks from people around her as he happily waved back. Let them be jealous. They didn’t share the friendship the two of them had so she didn’t care what people thought of the interaction. She did snicker quietly as she noticed the obvious teasing his teammates gave him when he skated back over to them though. Bless his heart and his rosy cheeks too.

The game was a nail biter, even more so than the other three games she’d watched this week had been. For each Canucks goal she jumped up out of her seat cheering, high fiving everyone around her. For every Coyotes goal, she winced and listened to the boos around her. By the time the third period ended 4-4 ahead of going into OT, she felt like she was in an emotional wringer. This was the last Canucks game of the season; she knew how much it meant to Anthony let alone the rest of the team, so when the buzzer sounded it was all she could do to keep breathing, hoping for a miracle.

And praise Garland for his game winning goal only 1.19 into the OT, hats flying onto the ice to mark his hattrick as the arena erupted in cheers and shouts for the 5-4 win. Isabella’s hands were stinging from clapping by the time the stands started to empty, her cheeks aching from smiling, but she didn’t hesitate to go down to the tunnel like she had that first night, waiting for Anthony to be finished.

As soon as he walked out to meet her, she squealed, making him laugh as he swooped her up in a hug.

“Ahhh Beau! I’m so happy for you! Such an amazing assist!” she said, when he’d put her back down.

Anthony’s assist on Garland’s power play goal was the Canucks second goal of the game, the first of Garland’s three, and she was so proud of him for ending his season so well.

“Felt good to contribute in our last game, I will admit,” Anthony said a little sheepishly.

“See, I told you! Positive thinking!” Isabella grinned.

He just laughed, making her smile soften. He really was so cute, especially when his happiness was shining through like this.

“Most of the team are heading out for drinks again tonight, especially with the win in this last game of the season. Do you want to go?” Anthony asked her, smiling softly.

Like she’d want to be anywhere else.

“Absolutely,” she nodded, “I even brought a leather jacket with me to wear over this tank top instead of the jersey.”

“Oh perfect, I’ll put your jersey in my car before we catch ubers to the bar then, so you don’t have to carry it around,” he said, smiling.

So thoughtful.

The booths reserved in the bar were full of players, various family members, wives and girlfriends, so Isabella didn’t feel like the odd one out for the celebration of the end of their season. That didn’t mean she moved far away from Anthony though. All night they were side-by-side, and Anthony seemed oblivious to the looks he was getting from his teammates where he had his arm round her waist, where he was murmuring in her ear. With the way the drinks were flowing, Isabella didn’t care enough to say anything, to correct their assumptions, letting herself slip to a level that she usually wouldn’t with alcohol. She wasn’t drunkdrunkdrunk, not by any means, but she was far merrier than she usually allowed herself to get, clinging to Anthony in a way that she always had refused herself.

The music blared, shots were pounded back, laughter filled their group, and all throughout Anthony held her tight, his hands possessive in a way they had never been before. He held her closer than he ever had as they swayed on the dancefloor, bodies pressed close, the energy between them crackling. She let herself pretend that it was the heat of the bar not his intense eyes that had her flushed and giddy. The vodka mixers allowed her to pretend anyway, and by the time that Anthony mentioned making a move back home, much later than she thought they would, her mind was a happy haze of BeauBeauBeau. Nothing else mattered, not the knowing winks or the giggles, not the way her feet were aching, not the way she leant heavily on him as they made their way out of the bar to the waiting uber.

They were still leaning against each other as they stumbled out of the taxi at his apartment building, Isabella giggling as she waved goodbye to their driver. Anthony helped hold her up in the elevator, using the wall to prop himself up, Isabella just snuggling into his broad chest with a happy drunken sigh. This was perfect. Did he always smell this good? Was he always this warm?

They slowly made their way to his front door, Anthony holding her close in a way that wasn’t helping them walk in a straight line. Isabella just stayed clutching at him, letting him guide her, humming quietly to herself as she smiled up at him, especially as he smiled widely down at her, cheeks flushed and eyes glazed. He struggled to open the front door, making her giggle like she had done getting out of the taxi, and he pressed his finger to her lips in an exaggerated shush, only making her laugh harder. This was bliss, this was heated happiness, this was…her stumbling into the doorframe and falling forward. She slammed into his chest, Anthony somehow holding her upright as he closed the door behind her, his body swaying as he tried to hold them both up.

Isabella clutched as his arms – so strong, so firm – looking up at him with wide eyes, only then noticing how close they were standing. How close he was holding her. Had they ever been this close before? Had his eyes always been that blue?

She jerked out of her thoughts as he pressed his lips to hers.

Isabella moaned softly before she could stop herself, Anthony quickly pulling away, lips red. Wow. Wow. So that was what it was like to kiss him? As she looked back up into his beautiful eyes, some of the fog in her head cleared, only to be replaced by how good that felt. She had to do it again. She had to know what it felt like to kiss him again.

It seemed like Anthony felt the same way, because one of his hands flew up to cup her head as he pushed her back against the door, a loud gasp tearing from her throat just before he took her lips in a kiss once more. There it was. This, right here. She melted into his embrace, clutching as his shirt with her hands as she hungrily kissed him back, Anthony moaning into her mouth before he slid his tongue past her lips. Her head spun as she lost herself in his kisses, her body lighting up with an electricity she hadn’t felt in a long time as their bodies surged together, moaning again as his free hand slid over her ass and squeezed. Never had she felt like this with a first kiss. Never had she wanted this much.

Then Anthony broke the kiss, barely pulling away, just enough so she could blearily see that he was panting as hard as she was.

“Do you want to…?”

“Yes.”

*

It was her pounding headache that woke her up, paired with the start of rolling nausea. All Isabella could do for longer than she could tell was breathe in and out slowly, measured breaths careful enough to not set off a run to the bathroom that she didn’t really want to do. She knew she drank more than she usually would last night; not enough to be obliterated, no, but these were the consequences that always reminded her why she had her alcohol limits. Her head feeling like it was going to crack in two, her stomach clenching over and over, her bare body clammy and chilled in the early morning air.

Wait, what?

Bare body. She was naked? What?

The moment that her mind processed the new information, the end of the evening caught up with her, reminding her exactly what had happened. Clutching hands, clashing lips, heated breath, stinging bites, pleasure like she’d never felt before. Anthony filling her, surrounding her, moaning out her name as she cried out his. Fuck.

Oh fuck what had she done? Tears stung at her eyes, clouding her gaze as she slowly glanced over her shoulder, carefully so as not to make her nausea worse…and there he was, just as naked as she was. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. She clasped a hand over her mouth to muffle any sounds that might escape her, glad she’d done so as the arm she hadn’t noticed draped over her waist tightened slightly with her minor movement.

She’d ruined everything. Everything. How could she have been so stupid to give in to her desires for him? How could anything ever be the same again between them?

Tears finally trickled down her cheeks as Anthony huffed a breath that ruffled her curls, his legs shifting enough to slot one of them between hers. As she cried, biting her bottom lip to muffle her quiet sobs, her headache came back with full force, throbbing like nothing she’d ever felt before. It was all Isabella could do to close her eyes, willing herself to fall asleep, hoping that when she woke up again that all of this would disappear. A stupid aimless hope, she knew that, but it was all she could cling to.

She drifted in and out of sleep as the hours went on, head pounding and swimming enough that she couldn’t wake herself up fully let alone move, but by the time that the midday sun filtered through the curtains she knew she couldn’t avoid getting out of bed anymore.

Just as she was gathering the courage to remove his arm from her waist, that arm tightened again, pulling her roughly back against his bare body, making her gasp loud enough for Anthony to flinch -and quickly shoot back across the bed as he woke up in alarm.

“Shit. Shit, Bells…”

Isabella let out a shaky breath before sitting upright, clutching the bedsheets to her chest in a poor attempt at modesty.

“Hi Beau,” she said with a watery smile.

She knew her smile looked as fake as it felt by the way that Anthony’s face fell. He ran a hand through his hair, looking at a loss for words, so she stayed silent too. There was nothing she could say to make this situation better, she knew that. And it wasn’t like she even knew what to say either. Everything she had worked so hard to prevent, the loss of their friendship being the main part, was for nothing. This was the beginning of the end – and by the way he wouldn’t look at her, she felt it in her bones as a certainty.

“I…”

She cut herself off, swallowing heavily to stop the lump rising in her throat as Anthony closed his eyes briefly. Fuck. Fuck.

“I’m going to shower. And pack all my stuff,” she eventually managed to say.

That, at least, made Anthony finally look over at her.

“What?”

She cleared her throat, willing herself not to cry at the intensity in his beautiful blue eyes.

“I fly home tomorrow, and I haven’t packed yet. There’s only this afternoon left to do it, and seeing as I have to be at the airport by 6.30am, I really don’t want to be packing last minute tomorrow morning,” she said as calmly as she could.

“Bells, wait, please,” he murmured.

She forced a polite smile on her face, hating that he winced when he saw it, hating that it was necessary to make her feel even a little bit of normality.

“And I think I’ll book a taxi to take me to the airport too, as it’s early,” she finished.

Rather than Anthony taking her, as they’d agreed previously. Before this clusterfuck ending of their friendship.

“No,” he said sharply.

“What?” she said, bland masking failing a little.

“I’ll still drive you to the airport,” he said.

Why? Why would he want to do that?

“You don’t have to,” she said, voice cracking.

“I want to,” Anthony said, shaking his head, “Please, Bells.”

The desperation in his voice made her heart ache as much as it confused her. Why was he so insistent? Why did he want to do this?

“Sure.”

The relief in Anthony’s eyes only confused her more.

*

Friday was possibly the most awkward day she’d ever spent in Anthony’s company. Isabella had managed to make it through her shower with shaky legs, eventually sliding down the wall to huddle on the shower floor, the sound of the shower muffling her crying enough for Anthony to leave her in peace as he caught an uber back to the arena to collect his car. Even when he arrived back, he still left her alone to pack all her things scattered around the guest room, which she somehow managed to stretch out into taking two hours. The rest of the day had been spent avoiding him as much as possible, sitting at opposite ends of the sofa while they ate pizza that night, neither one of them wanting to cook for obvious reasons, and she had claimed an early night for her early start the next day.

But it had taken so long for her to fall asleep, her mind not shutting off, overthinking every little interaction the two of them had that day, so by the time her alarm went off at 5am she was even more exhausted than the day before. Still, she knew she couldn’t delay the inevitable, and got up to leave Anthony for what she feared would be the last time.

Because that was where this was heading, wasn’t it? Everything between them – their friendship, their closeness, all that they shared – had been ruined the moment she stepped into his bedroom in an alcohol-fuelled lust haze. Neither of them had made the step forward yesterday to do anything about their dwindling friendship, and now…now it was too late.

Her flight from Vancouver was due to leave at 8.35am, with her due to land in LaGuardia at 8pm, having one stop for connecting flight in Denver for 1.45hrs. Her company had booked flights for the cheapest options available; the timings and airports weren’t her choice at all, but in this moment, the early flight was some kind of blessing.

Unsurprisingly, their drive to airport was quiet. Isabella didn’t even have a coffee mug to distract herself with, not wanting the caffeine in this jittery body before she ate something a little later, so the time in the car with him felt like it dragged. That aching feeling only dragged out when Anthony paid $5.00 for the parkade and walked her to the main departures doors.

“So I guess this is goodbye,” Anthony murmured, handing her the suitcase he wheeled over from the car for her.

Why did that hurt so much more than she thought it would?

“I guess so,” she said softly, clutching at her handbag like it was a lifeline.

Without warning, Anthony stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug. Isabella couldn’t stop the whimper that escaped her throat, and she found herself hugging him back just as tightly, burying her face in the crook of his neck, trying not to tremble at the close contact. She could feel his face pressing into her curls, his breathing shaky like he was trying not to cry, and she desperately willed herself not to cry either when tears stung her eyes. This wasn’t fair. How had everything boiled down to this, after all their years of friendship? How was everything over?

She couldn’t do this anymore. She couldn’t cling onto him when she knew that any moment she would have to let him go for real. So, Isabella found the strength to unclench her hands from his shirt, taking the step backwards that she didn’t want to take. Hundreds of words flew around her head, everything she wanted to say to him that she didn’t know how to voice. And it looked like he wanted to say something too, lips parting and hand raising towards her…until his hand dropped back to his side and he took a proper step backwards, clearing his throat.

A little bit of her died inside at the misery in his eyes.

Was this really goodbye forever?

“Have a safe flight. Let me know when you land?” Anthony said softly.

“It won’t be for nearly 9 hours,” she said, hesitating.

“I don’t care,” he said immediately, “Please?”

She just sighed, nodding. “Yeah, of course Beau.”

He smiled in response, but it just looked sad to her. As sad as the emptiness in his eyes. But before she could say anything to change his expression even the slightest bit, a big shuttle bus pulled up and a group of loud people stepped out, ruining the last chance. Their last chance?

It was all Isabella could to do smile sadly at him as she walked into the airport.

Her flight was restless – she was too awake to sleep but too caught up in her thoughts to read a book or watch a movie. If she was being honest with herself, she couldn’t even remember what she ate. If she ate. All she was able to do, as if punishing herself further, was to put her headphones over her ears to drown the world out and listen to the playlist he had made her for her original flight out, silently crying the whole time.

Her seatmate hadn’t noticed the way she was falling apart next to her.

Eventually she had to face reality as her plane landed in LaGuardia. It would do no good for her heart if she didn’t text Anthony as he’d asked her to, so she pulled out her phone as she waited for the plane to start disembarking.

~

From: Isabella Hey, just landed.

~

It was short and to the point, but it was all she could manage while she felt like a dried-out husk. Somehow, tears stung at her eyes when he immediately messaged back, like he was waiting for her in a way that made no sense.

~

From: Anthony Thank you for letting me know. I hope your flight was okay.

~

Was that concern? Was that politeness? She couldn’t figure it out in her exhausted state so she just exited out of their conversation and put her phone away. That was a problem for another day. All she could manage right now was standing up out of her seat and shuffling off the plane. Everything else could wait for tomorrow. It would have to.

*

Seven days. Seven days passed without a word from Anthony. This was the longest they’d ever gone without speaking, the time stretching out like an impossible chasm. She knew she could’ve responded to his message after her flight, but she hadn’t known what to say, and a couple of days later it felt too late to respond to that particular thread of conversation. But Anthony hadn’t contacted her again either. Maybe it really had been politeness, his comment on her journey, but if it wasn’t then she didn’t really know what to think.

All she knew was that the longer she didn’t text him and the longer that he didn’t text her, she felt like her fragile heart was crumbling, and she didn’t know how to salvage any of it – if anything could be salvaged at all.

Her body ached, the loss of contact with him feeling like a missing limb. She hadn’t felt heartbreak like this before, not with any ex-boyfriends, and this time it was all her fault anyway. Maybe she deserved to feel this empty, this aching. It was all she could do to trudge forward on auto-pilot, trying to get back into her routine as a desperate attempt to cling onto some form of normality. By the time Saturday 22nd rolled around though, she was done. Without work to distract her like it had all week, Isabella knew she needed to get out of her apartment or she would go insane from her overbearing thoughts. So she decided to treat herself to lunch out at a secluded café she hadn’t been to in a while, allowing the walk to clear her foggy thoughts, and by the time her sandwich was in front of her she felt a little more human.

“Bells?”

Isabella looked up sharply, breath hitching at the man standing in front of her.

Mat.

She hadn’t forgotten that this was the café that she, Anthony, and Mat used to all go to together. That did make sense why she hadn’t been there since he left New York though.

“Hey, Barzy, fancy bumping into you here,” she said warmly.

Mat just smiled as she stood up from her seat, wasting no time in giving her a big hug, making her laugh as she hugged him back. Clearly he had the same thoughts as her, getting out for a little while, especially considering he’d just had a run of playoff games against Carolina on Monday 17th, Wednesday 19th, and Friday 21st.

“I know we’ve texted back and forth a lot but I can’t believe I haven’t seen you since Beau got traded,” she said, smiling softly as he sat down opposite her.

But the moment that his smile turned sympathetic, she knew.

“He told you?” she murmured, smile falling.

He bit his bottom lip, hesitating, but that only made her feel worse.

“Barzy please, did he tell you what happened in Vancouver?” she whispered harshly.

Mat huffed out a sign before nodding “He did.”

She immediately felt sick, physically and mentally, her whole body seizing - but Mat quickly shook his head at whatever her face was doing.

“Bells, no, only because he’s freaking out that he’s ruined everything,” Mat insisted.

“Ruined everything?” she asked quietly, her voice catching in her throat as she tried to breathe.

“Look, I don’t know the details. And I sure as hell don’t really want to know them, that’s between you two,” Mat said firmly.

She couldn’t help but laugh softly at the dramatic grimace on his face, and Mat’s expression softened.

“He’s in a real mess, Bells. I’ve never seen him like this before,” Mat said, smiling sadly, “Did he ruin everything?”

He was in a mess? Just as much as she was?

“No, no he hasn’t,” she said with a sad smile, “I thought I did.”

“Man, you two are as bad as each other. I thought your trip to Vancouver would’ve sorted that out finally,” Mat sighed.

What? Sorted what out?

“What?” she managed to choke out.

Mat just shook his head fondly. “Everyone saw the way you two look at each other. We all thought you’d get together, although I’m pretty sure some of the rookies thought you were already dating.”

Well that was something she thought she’d never hear. What the hell?

“I just…he’s one of my best friends, you know? You’re my friend too - and you’re good for him. I want things to be back to normal between you two,” Mat said, smiling sadly.

If that didn’t break her heart even further, she didn’t know what would.

“I don’t know if they can ever go back to normal,” she admitted, hating the words as honest as they were, eyes stinging slightly, “But I don’t want to lose him. I just don’t know what to do.”

He pursed his lips, nodding as he fell silent for a moment. It was all she could do to sip at her coffee, especially as it looked like her friend was thinking hard.

“Do you like him?” Mat asked suddenly.

“W-What?”

“Do you like him? As more than a friend?”

She choked out a laugh, glancing up at the ceiling, trying to fight the tears that sprang to her eyes again. What kind of question was that? Of course she did. She’d never denied it, not that anyone had ever asked her. Anthony was her person, one of the only people in her life that she truly trusted. Of course she liked him. Hell, she was already falling in love with him at this point, she could admit that much to herself. And if Mat’s words held any truth…maybe he was falling for her too?

“Yeah. Yeah, I do like him. More than I probably should for someone who’s never heard from his lips how he feels about me,” she eventually admitted.

Mat’s face split into a smile. “Leave this with me.”

What?

“Barzy…” she warned.

“No, I’m serious, leave it with me. Do you trust me?” Mat said firmly.

“Yeah, you know I do,” Isabella said without hesitation.

Because she did. There wasn’t a malicious bone in Mat Barzal’s body, especially when it came to his friends, and Isabella was fortunate to count herself as one of them. But what did he mean?

“Then let me talk to him, okay? This will all work out, Bells,” Mat said seriously, “You’ll see.”

Hope was dangerous for her fragile heart. But here Mat was, dangling it down on a silver string.

“I really hope you’re right, Barzy,” she sighed.

He just grinned. A thousand girls would kill to have that beaming smile sent their way, but all she could think about was his blue-eyed friend on the other side of Canada.

“I’d better go – got the 4th game in our playoffs series tomorrow. But don’t be a stranger,” Mat said, standing up from his eat.

“I won’t. I’m rooting for you guys against the Canes,” she said, smiling despite the whirling of her emotions.

“Damn right you are,” he grinned.

There was the Mat she knew.

*

A few days more days passed without a word from Mat, or from…anyone else. She knew that Mat was busy, obviously having watched his 4th playoff game on Sunday. She’d even texted him after his 5-2 loss against the Canes, getting nothing but a crying face back which was more than she could’ve hoped for from him in this intense time. But nothing else, and she tried not to let that hope flicker away. She wouldn’t let herself get invested, not until she knew anything for sure. She couldn’t, otherwise she didn’t know if she would survive.

It took until Tuesday 25th for Isabella to wake up with a text from Anthony.

Her hands shook as she flicked open their neglected message thread, eyes stinging as she scanned his words.

~

From: Anthony I’m sorry that I haven’t texted you. I’m guessing you haven’t texted me either for the same reasons. I hate that everything’s gotten so awkward and distant between us but talking with Barzy yesterday gave me hope. Will you please listen to this playlist? we’re lost and found.

~

Isabella had already planned on working from home today but this would’ve pushed her to anyway. He’d actually messaged her. There was still hope? Anthony hadn’t given up on them after all. He’d made her a new playlist? And from the sounds of it, if he’d talked to Barzy like Barzy said he would, this was going to be something that was either going to break her heart for good or give her more hope than she knew what to do with.

Rather than opening the link on her phone, she opened up her personal laptop, clicking on the playlist we’re lost and found when Spotify was open, and quickly clicked play.

“Sunlight comes creepin' in, Illuminates our skin, We watched the day go by, Stories of all we did, It made me think of you, It made me think of you.”

As the lyrics to Birdy’s Wings filled the room, Isabella could do nothing to stop the tears from springing to her eyes. This song was one of her current favourites, he knew this. And if he’d remembered that…what else had he included in the playlist? She quickly scrolled through the rest of the list, eyes scanning every song, every choice he made, aching pangs starting in her chest at his selections.

Wings – Birdy Never Let Me Go – Florence + The Machine Hold You – Nina Nesbitt, Kodaline Wherever You Will Go – Charlene Soraia Teach Me How to Be Loved – Rebecca Ferguson Set Me on Fire – Bella Ferraro Kiss Me – Jason Walker Yours – Ella Henderson Still into You – Paramore Adore You – Harry Styles Tongue Tied – Take Me To Your Best Friends House Slow Hands – Niall Horan I Choose You – Sara Bareilles Lover – Taylor Swift Lover Of Mine – 5 Seconds of Summer this is how you fall in love – Jason Zucker, Chelsea Cutler Falling Like The Stars – James Arthur A Thousand Years – Christina Perri Take Me To Church – Hozier Next To Me – Emeli Sandé I Won’t Give Up – Jason Mraz When You Love Someone – James TW

She felt like she wasn’t breathing, couldn’t breathe, the long curated-collection sending her thoughts scrambling. Did he really feel…? Was he really saying…? Why was he only saying this now, when everything had become so fraught between them?

“If I could, then I would, I’d go wherever you will go.”

The Charlene Soraia cover, another favourite. Fuck, he really had put so much effort into this, hadn’t he? The thoughts, the emotions, everything that he was feeling he had put into this playlist. Playlists were their thing, and the fact that he’d made something like this for her, to show her how he felt…it was everything. She let the music wash over her, tears pouring down her cheeks as she let her heart truly feel what it wanted to feel for the first time, soaking in all of the emotion that he’d poured into this playlist. This was him, and this was her, and it was them. What more could she say?

“But with you I’ve learned how to let it out, Now my heart is ready to burst, Cause I feel like I’m ready for love, And I want to be your everything and more.”

Ella Henderson’s voice continued to spill out from her laptop speakers, but Isabella couldn’t take anymore. She had to speak to him. She had to know…she had to…fuck, she needed to hear his voice. And it only took three rings for him to answer.

“Hey, Bells.”

She sniffled as a couple of tears trickled down her cheeks, closing her eyes at the sound of his voice. “Hey, Beau.”

They fell silent for a moment, just listening to each other breathe, before Anthony eventually cleared his throat.

“You’re listening to the playlist then? I can hear Ella singing in the background.”

He knew it that well, that he could recognise a faint song? How many times had he listened to these songs before he sent them over?

“Yeah. Yeah I am. I have to know…Beau, why did you create this? Why these songs?” she murmured, eyes finally opening, staring at the list in front of her.

He huffed out a laugh, sighing softly.

“It’s always going to be you, Bells. There’s no-one else for me.”

The sound that tore out of her throat barely felt human, and her free hand quickly flew up to cover her mouth, a distraught sound coming through the phone as Anthony heard her.

“Hey, talk to me, please?”

She took a shaky breath, willing herself to stay calm, to keep herself together, and she nodded to herself, steeling her nerves.

“There’s no-one else for you?” she murmured.

“There hasn’t been for a long time.”

The smile that tugged at her lips felt traitorous somehow, her mind not believing his words. He’s liked her for a long time? How was this real? As if he could sense her warring thoughts, Anthony sighed.

“I don’t know what to say to make you believe me. Please, just listen to the songs. They show everything that I can’t over the phone. Music has always spoken for us before, right? So I’m trying to let it speak for me now.”

He was right. Music had always been the thing that connected them, that said everything they didn’t need to say. Except this time, she needed him to say something – and here he was, translating himself in a way that spoke to them both.

“You really feel this way about me?” she said softly, her voice filled with wonder.

“I really do. And I’m hoping, from everything Barzy said and the fact that you haven’t hung up on my yet, that you feel this way for me too?”

Right, because she hadn’t actually said anything that was on her mind. It was all him. Just like always.

“Yeah, Beau, I do. I like you so much,” she said, choking out a laugh, “I just…didn’t think you would ever feel the same for me. The last week has been torture.”

“I’m so sorry. I am so unbelievably sorry for ever making you feel like you aren’t the most important person in my life.”

She choked out a sob this time, her body thrumming, her heart aching, Anthony just making soft reassuring noises through the speaker until she was able to compose herself once more.

“I’ve got locker clear out tomorrow, and then…then I’m thinking about coming to New York for a few weeks. I think we should talk, really talk, face to face. We both deserve that much.”

“Yeah, you’re right. And I’d like that,” she said, a little shyly.

With further tentative plans for Isabella to join him in Quebec after he spent some time with her in New York, she ended the call, her heart full and her cheeks aching with smiling, tacky with happy tears.

Maybe she didn’t know what tomorrow would hold. Or next month. Or even when Anthony was back in Vancouver all over again. But she knew that what she felt for him was worth trying for. And wasn’t that all that mattered anyway? Anthony Beauvillier was falling in love with her just like she was falling in love with him, and she couldn’t wait to see where this journey would take her, especially with him by her side.

#my writing #anthony beauvillier fic #demi's birthday bingo #anthony beauvillier imagine #anthony beauvillier fanfic #anthony beauvillier x oc #hockey fic #hockey fanfic #hockey imagine #nhl fic #nhl fanfic #nhl imagine

[idontgiveaflyinggrayson69]

Life As We Know It | Part 21

Author: Nat / @idontgiveaflyinggrayson69​

Tagging: @thirteenisles​ @matbaerzal​ @mcmo-anon​ @texanstarslove​ @matbarzyy​ @hockeywocs​ @ggggmoneyyyy​ @tysonjost-taylorsversion​ @toplinetommy​ @fiveholegoal​ @itrocksmysocks​ @joelsfarabee​ @barzysreputation​ @iangiemae​ @stlbluesbrat​ @c-tangerine​ @canadianheaters​ @jeylia-haj​ @roopehintz​ @dreamsndior​ @beauvibaby​ @2manytabsopen​ @nazdaddy​ @sorryjustafangirl​ @fallinallincurls​ @pastelpapermoons​ @hockeybabe87​ @kayt-marie​ @heatherawoowoo​ @islesnucks​ @whoeverineedtobe​ @ohpuckyeah​ @tpwkstiles​ @mf-mightyducks​ @day-dreamerr​ @ficsilove10​ @notaccurateornice​ @rapidfever​ @hoodpankow​ @oopsiedoopsie23​ @haylie-mcc​ @jostyriggslover96​ @newlibrary​ @honestreputation​ @the-philthepill13​ @justanotherfansblog​ @simpgirl-lat​ @hockeypuckspost @great-puck-work @yzas-stuff @sidscrosbyy @teenagekook @svechnikolan @lovethepreds @strong134 @dylancozzys @gravyoverall  @lena306 @caelum-the-part-time-acosmist @taiter-tots @canesjedi31 @kq9003 [let me know if you want to be added!]

Word Count: 8k

Warnings: Alcohol. Sexual references?

Comments: I know this took a million years and I’m so sorry!!! I hope it’s worth the wait!!! Thanks again to everyone who stuck with this story despite it being WAY too long between updates. And remember, Beau is an Islander for life in this story 🧡💙

(c) nat g. 2023 // do not repost, do not claim as your own

Tess loved Valentine’s Day.

As long as he knew her, Tess had adored Valentine’s Day. Tess loved all the hearts and flowers and teddy bears and the idea of love that came with it. Not to mention, Tess had never really had a serious boyfriend, one that would spoil her with chocolates and roses and tell her 365 different reasons why he loved her. Anthony would be the first, and if he was lucky, her only, so he knew that he had to do something special for their first Valentine’s Day together; he knew he had to make it worthy of her. Even if he had never really been a fan of Valentine’s Day himself.

It wasn’t that Anthony didn’t like Valentine’s Day or had any personal vendetta against it. For several years he had played the boyfriend role perfectly with dinner and gifts and flowers, he just had never really been a fan of the holiday. Valentine’s Day marketed love and buying gifts to show that love, but Anthony firmly believed that, if you loved someone, truly loved them, you should show them every day, not just one day out of the year.

You should take them out to dinner just because, buy them flowers because the tulips reminded you of them, get them the bracelet or book or knickknack because you knew they’d like it, or go out because you love being with them. Love wasn’t something to expect or market, but something that should be given whole heartedly.

But Tess loved Valentine’s Day and he loved Tess with every ounce of his being, so he would make it the best damn Valentine’s Day he could.

The Islanders were on the road the week leading up to Valentine’s Day, so he had a lot of time to think about how he’d woo Tess. Most guys slept on the plane or played on their phone, but Anthony spent every second trying to plan the perfect day for Tess. And it didn’t take him long to realize that it was a lot easier to draw up a play than it was to come up with a Valentine’s Day plan.

Tess…

Tess was loving and kind and amazing and perfect and he knew how she used to dream of a perfect Valentine’s Day and happily ever after and he wanted to give her everything. He had let down a lot of people in his life, sometimes it felt like he still was, but he could never let Tess down. Come hell or high water, he’d do whatever he could to make her happy.

The plane wasn’t enough time to make the perfect plan, especially after he asked Barzy what his Valentine’s Day plans were and he shared a way too detailed description of all the different sex positions he was thinking of for him and Connor. “You know, the best thing to give a woman on V-Day is a mind blowing orgasm,” Mat said without looking up from his phone, and he only forced his eyes away from the screen when Anthony didn’t reply.

“Yeah, I’m not sure that’s on the menu,” he finally replied.

“You guys still haven’t?” Mat asked at the way Anthony’s lips tightened and he winced when Anthony shook his head. “Damn, I really bought that pack of condoms for nothing…”

“We’re going slow,” he shrugged. “Tess asked for slow so we’re going slow, we’ll get there when we get there. I mean…” he took a deep breath. “She’s never even mentioned sex before, for all I know…”

Mat’s eyes bugged a bit, “you think?”

“I don’t know,” Anthony replied firmly. “So, we’re going slow. So, yeah, I’m not sure mind blowing orgasm is on the menu, but I could totally give her one if she wanted,” he added quickly when Mat opened his mouth.

He was quick to close it before he shrugged. “I mean,” he started. “Are you sure? It has been a while. I could refresh you on where the clit is and how to—”

“Mat.” His voice matched the sharp look in his eyes. “I know what I’m doing. And plus, I know Connor has you by the balls. She tells Tess everything and Tess tells me everything.” His smile grew as Mat’s flush did and he contently leaned back in his plane seat as Mat went uncharacteristically quiet.

Maybe one of the married guys would yield better advice for Valentine’s Day, Anthony thought as he closed his eyes. Like Nelly or Bails or Pager. They had to know how to get Valentine’s Day right if their wives stuck with them.

Anthony’s mind was still racing when they landed in Tampa, and he was distant enough during dinner that the guys noticed, so distanced and caught up in the thought of Tess that he didn’t even hear Nelly’s question.

“He’s still in the honeymoon phase,” Mat smiled brightly as he wrapped his arm around Anthony’s shoulders. “Tess consumes his every thought.”

“Shut up,” he grumbled and pressed his thumb into Mat’s ribs hard enough to make him yelp. “Like Connor isn’t the only thing on your mind.”

“Not the point,” Mat replied and tried to jab he back, but Anthony easily blocked him.

“Whatever,” Anthony rolled his eyes. “What was your question?”

Brock shared a knowing look with Anders before he shook his head. “I asked you what you were going to order.”

“Oh,” he whispered and felt his blush creep up his neck. “Um, the steak sounds good?”

“Yeah,” Brock nodded. “I was between that and the salmon.”

“Salmon would be lighter, depends on how the flight hit you, I guess,” he replied, but suddenly he was thinking of whether steak or fish would be better for him and Tess. Or maybe chicken. Or duck. Or—

“Beau,” Anders’ voice cut through his thoughts and he winced as he looked to his captain.

“I will have my head on for the game tomorrow don’t worry,” he reassured Anders.

Anders shook his head. “I’m not worried about that,” he replied. “I just want to make sure you’re okay, offer any advice if you need. I mean, it must be difficult balancing this new phase with Tessa while trying to juggle a 12-month-old, I think I speak for all of us when I say those are a handful on their own.” Those with kids agreed with a soft laugh and Anthony nodded.  

He knew he’d probably be chirped into next week for it, which is why he’d rather go to Anders or Nelly or Bails one on one, but he resigned himself with a nod, “Valentine’s Day is coming up and Tess adores Valentine’s Day and I want to make it special for her without it being cheesy.” When the table was quiet, he took a big drink of his beer and shot Mat a death glare.

It was Brock that broke the silence. “Flowers,” he said. “Girls love flowers, but not any kind, their favourite kind, that’s very important.”

“Yeah,” Anders agreed. “And you’re a pretty decent cook, aren’t you? So cook her dinner instead of taking her out, that shows you care, and girls find that romantic as fuck.”

“And jewelry,” Bails tacked on. “It sounds cliché, but they really do love it, if it’s good. Don’t get what you like, you have to get what they’d like, even if you don’t understand it. And for the love of God, there is a huge difference between yellow gold and white gold and do not make that mistake.”

Anthony blinked back at him as he nodded, “right, got it, thanks.”

“And don’t forget the condom,” Anders added with a wink and teasing smile that made Anthony rest his forehead against the table with a groan.

“One time,” he grumbled to himself. “One fucking time…”

“One time too many,” Mat cackled as he shook Anthony’s shoulder.

Once he got back to the hotel room, he stripped down to his underwear and crawled into bed and Anthony looked up jewelry stores and florists between texts to Tess while Friends played in the background. He had always liked the show, but now it was an ever present reminder of her that made him love it so much more.

Planning the perfect Valentine’s Day kept him up at night and, despite his earlier promise to Anders, it took him longer than he wanted to admit to find his legs during the game the next day, but he finally came up with a plan and he only hoped it would live up to her expectations.

Luckily, the Islanders were home for Valentine’s Day, so the day began like any other: Tess wrapped up in his arms. Sure, she had her own room and own bed, but the only place Anthony wanted her was his arms. Once he knew how perfectly she fit in them, he’d never be able to let her go. So, Valentine’s Day began with Tess waking with her face pressed into Anthony’s chest and his arms wrapped around her and she smiled as she tried to snuggle closer. He had always been the best teddy bear she could ever ask for and she felt rather than heard Anthony’s laugh as he tightened his hold on her.

“Good morning,” he breathed, his voice thick with sleep.

“Shh, sleeping,” she mumbled and buried her face into further his chest, making Anthony laugh harder as he trailed his hand up and down her back.

“Okay,” he hummed. Tess made a soft sound against his chest and he tightened his hold on her. Perfect wasn’t a good enough word to describe her, she was his everything. His past, his present, his hope for the future, his family, his everything. All that he was began and ended with Tess. And Valentine’s Day meant a day off, so he was more than happy to stay wrapped up in Tess’s arms as long as she’d allow, or as long as Sorel would allow.

Which, of course, is exactly how the morning went.

He didn’t know how long they stayed wrapped up in each other’s arms before Sorel’s crying came through the monitor, but it wasn’t long enough. He loved Sorel more than he had words to describe, but sometimes all he wanted as an extra five minutes with her mom. They had spent longer, much longer, as friends and parents than they were as a couple and Anthony was desperate for any moment alone they could steal.

He hated jostling Tess when Sorel cried, but he knew it was long past her normal wake up time and she needed to be changed and feed. He murmured an apology when Tess groaned as he slipped out of bed before he went to get Sorel, and by the time he emerged from her room in a clean diaper and outfit, Tess was up. Her hair was messy and fluffy, and she had a sleepy smile on her lip and his shirt dwarfed her frame, all of which made Anthony’s heart flutter.

“Sit,” he told her and put Sorel in her highchair. “I will make you coffee and breakfast.” He smiled before he kissed her cheek and directed her to a chair at the island.

It didn’t take long for her coffee to finish brewing and he added the milk and sugar before he slid it across the table and started making his own. “Bacon and eggs?” He asked. “Or maybe waffles and berries?” He smiled when Tess’s face light up and reached under the island to find the waffle iron. He couldn’t remember the last time he used it and he hoped it still worked as he pulled it in and gathered the ingredients for waffles, and he gave Tess a hard look she tried to get up to get the fruit from the fridge.

He prepared the berries and fruit after he mixed the batter and the waffles didn’t take long after he added them to the iron. He added strawberries and blueberries to Tess’s plate, along with a mountain of whipped cream that made her laugh and he stole a kiss as he sat it down in front of her.

“Thank you, it looks amazing,” she smiled back at him.

“Not as amazing as you,” he replied without missing a beat and his smile widened as she blushed, and when his own waffled was ready, he added strawberries and banana.

Anthony tisked Tess when she reached for the dishes after breakfast. Today was her day, one of them at least, and he wouldn’t have her lift a finger, and he was in the middle of dishes when the florist knocked at the door.

The knock at the door surprised Tess and she furrowed her brows as she looked at Anthony but he did his best to shrug her off. “Can you get it?” He asked and she nodded before making her way over.

As soon as she answered the door, she was faced with a delivery boy and a large bouquet of flowers. “Delivery for Tessa?” He said with a smile.

“Uh, yeah, that would be me,” she replied with a confused expression and the guy handed her the big bouquet of flowers to her before he wished her a happy Valentine’s Day and got on his way. Tess was frozen for a moment as she held the flowers close to her before she took a deep breath in and her smile grew as she closed the door when she was able to give them a good look and smell. It was a bouquet of pink and red roses and lilies and other filler flowers and soft green leaves around the edges and, of course, beautiful white orchids.

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” he told her softly as he leaned against the counter and his shoulders softened at the way she smiled when she finally looked up at him.

“They’re beautiful,” she told him. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he replied and pushed himself off the counter to step closer to her. “But they’re not as beautiful as you.” Tess opened her mouth to argue but he pressed a quick kiss to her lips. “They’re not,” he repeated.

His smile grew at Tess’s blush and he got her a vase for her flowers so they could sit in the middle of the island, and they were more than happy to spend the afternoon together watching Sorel’s favourite TV shows and playing her favourite games. They were a family. Forever and always, they were a family.

When it was time, Anthony pulled everything out and started to prepared dinner before Tess could ever ask, and maybe pinot noir wasn’t the best pairing in the cookbook, but it was Tess’s favourite and her smile meant everything to him. He made her garlic parmesan chicken breasts with steamed veggies for a side. He wanted to refuse her help, wanted to make it special for her by doing everything for her, but he gave in every time she gave him her puppy dog eyes so he let her prep the veggies while he did the chicken and he couldn’t stop thinking about how nice it was to work around each other in the kitchen and how mundane it was.

Finally, the dinner was severed and Anthony smiled as he moved everything to the table. “After you,” he said and only took for himself after Tess had served herself and Sorel. And, to only mild surprise, the dinner was actually really good and Tess couldn’t stop shaking her head as she smiled.

“What?” Anthony asked with a soft laugh.

“I’m just really happy,” she told him. “I can’t count the times I thought about us spending Valentine’s Day with you and now it’s really happening.”

Anthony softened as he looked at her before he raised his glass of wine. “To us,” he said and smiled as she raised her glass too.

“To us,” she echoed and clinked her glass against his.

The rest of dinner was nice. Anthony talked about the roadie and his week ahead while Tess spoke of her plans with Connor and Anthony helped Sorel with her dinner which always made Tess look at him with soft, loving eyes.

Tess fell in love with Anthony years ago, but it was a totally different, deeper love watching him with Sorel. She always knew he’d be a good father, but it was something else entirely seeing how amazing a dad he really was. For so long, Tess had dreamt of having a family with him that it felt surreal to actually have it. There was so much love in her eyes watching him feed Sorel with a smile on his face and Tess meant every word when she said she had never been so happy in her life.

She finally had everything she could ever want.

After dinner, Tess tried to help with dishes but Anthony refused her help. So, instead she played with Sorel on her play mat while Anthony finished the dishes and then they started getting her ready for bed. Tess would have bathed her, but it was Valentine’s Day and dinner had been later than usual and Tess didn’t want to keep her up later than usual. Sorel really took after her dad and could get really cranky when she was tired so, yeah, her bath could wait till tomorrow.

Once Sorel was down, Tess changed into something more comfortable—one of Anthony’s old Islanders shirts and some sleep shorts—and she didn’t think twice about curling up next to him on the couch.

“I’ve never been a huge Valentine’s Day person,” he confessed softly.

“I know,” Tess replied and looked over at him. She had seen him through multiple girlfriends, as painful as it had been, and it had always been about what they wanted rather than about them.

“But I get it now,” he told her. “I like being your Valentine.”

Tess ducked her head as she leaned into him. “I really like being your Valentine, too, Anthony. I really like you,” she teased and Anthony kissed her temple before he gently carded his fingers through the ends of her curls, and he murmured an apology as his fingers tangled in her hair before he pressed another kiss to his temple.

When he pulled back, he held her eyes, her beautiful coffee eyes he fell in love with, before he whispered, “I got you something. I’ll just be a second while I get it.” Tess’s brows furrowed as she watched him get up and disappear into his room, but he came back a moment later with a big red gift bag and Tess’s shoulders relaxed.

“You didn’t have to,” she said softly.

Anthony gave her an almost offended look and handed her the bag before he sat back down next to her. “Like I’d fuck up our first Valentine’s Day,” he scoffed. “Now go on, open it.”

Tess laughed softly but opened the bag and she was surprised at everything in it. “Anth—“ she started but Anthony waved her off.

“C’mon, open it,” he encouraged.

Her eyes shined and the corner of her lips twitched up as she nodded and started to pull everything Anthony had stuffed into the bag. First there was a candle that smelt like vanilla. Then there was a set of bath bombs that Tess definitely didn’t think about using with Anthony and blushed when she sat them down on the coffee table. There were two sets of chocolates, and a Tiffany’s box. Just like the bracelet and the ring before, Tess’s breath caught in her throat and she looked up at Anthony. He worried his lip between his teeth but nodded and Tess looked down as she opened it and her smile softened immediately.

Had had gotten her a bracelet and a ring, it was only fitting that he got her earrings too. They were simple and beautiful, small silver, or maybe white gold, hoops with dangling pear diamonds.

“They’re beautiful,” she whispered and looked up at him. “Thank you.”

Her heart twisted knowing she hadn’t gotten him anything thinking he didn’t care about Valentine’s Day and she put the earrings down to hug him, pressing her face into his neck as she tried to pour her love for him into the hug. Anthony’s eyes closed as he melted into the hug and he buried his face into her hair. “You’re welcome,” he breathed.

Tess pulled back from the hug after a moment and cupped his jaw to kiss him softly. “You’re making me feel terrible for not getting you anything,” she told him but Anthony shook his head.

“You’re the only gift I could ever want,” he told her and kissed her again.

Tess’s thumb ran over the arch of his cheek and she couldn’t stop smiling as she pulled back from the kiss and Anthony was so incredibly in love with her. Sure, they had only really been together for a handful of weeks, but they had been friends for years and he honestly couldn’t imagine his life without her.

Tess continued to run her thumb over his cheek and the soft look in his eyes stirred something in her. Her eyes dropped to his lips and she leaned into him before kissing him again, deeper than before. Anthony was taken back but he quickly melted into the kiss and let his hand rest on her hip.

He didn’t expect the kiss to last long so he let her control it, but Tess didn’t pull back. Maybe it was the wine or the gifts or the fact that it was Valentine’s Day, or maybe it was just Anthony, but Tess didn’t want to stop and when Anthony broke the kiss, she quickly chased his lips and kissed him again. Anthony made a soft sound against her lips that sent a wave of heat through her body and Tess pressed herself closer to him, as close as she could be still sitting next to him.

Anthony kept waiting for her to pull back but she didn’t. Instead, she threaded her fingers through his hair and let her chest rest against his. She wasn’t wearing a bra, she never really had to, so Anthony could feel her breasts and the hardness of her nipples against him and he couldn’t get enough. His neck strained as he deepened the kiss and Tess made a soft sound against his lips that had his hand moving from her hip to her thigh as he pulled her onto his lap, her knees on either side of his thighs bracing her weight as her hips rested against his.

Tess broke the kiss with a gasp and looked at Anthony with wide eyes. “Sorry… Is this okay?” He asked, letting his hands rest on the bare skin of her thighs, terrified he had read her signals wrong and had gone too far.

It took Tess a moment to answer as her heart raced and her lips parted as she looked at him. He was warm beneath her and she settled her weight on his lap before she ran her hands up his arms to rest on his shoulders. “Yeah,” she nodded and kissed him again, pulling a soft groan from him.

Anthony let her control the kiss for a moment before he deepened it and pulled her hips flush against his and Tess couldn’t help the moan that slipped from her lips. It was the first time he heard her moan and it went straight to his groin and he wanted to pull more beautiful sounds from her. When she didn’t pull back from the kiss, he let his hands move to her ass and he gently kneaded the soft flesh. It would be so easy to grip her ass as she—

He shook the thought from his head as he nipped at her lip and moved his hands up to her waist. Her skin was warm and she kissed him again just as deeply as before which only spurred him on as he trailed his hands higher on her rib before he broke the kiss to trail his lips down her jaw. Never in his life had he wanted someone as badly as he wanted her and Tess threaded her fingers through his hair and titled her head to the side to give him move room as she moaned softly.

Anthony felt himself start to harden and in the back of his head he knew they should stop and talk about it. Fuck, he didn’t even know if this was something she had done before, but Tess wasn’t stopping him and he didn’t want to stop. All he wanted her.

His lips found where her jaw met her throat and he grazed his teeth over her skin before he sucked softly but not hard enough to leave a mark and he hadn’t realized his hands were moving up until the tips of his fingers brushed the underside of her breasts. Tess’s grip on his hair tightened and she tensed, pulling him from his thoughts and Anthony immediately moved his hands back down to her waist and leaned back to look at her. “I’m sorry,” he told her, his jaw slack and eyes dark.

Her chest heaved and her heart raced but she shook her head. “It’s okay.”

As much as it killed him, Anthony said, “we should stop.”

“No, Anthony, it’s okay,” she told him.

Anthony’s breath caught in his throat as he looked at her and the look in his eyes sent a wave of heat to her core where she could feel him beneath her. “You sure?” He asked breathlessly and Tess nodded, a soft throbbing starting between her thighs as Anthony held her gaze and trailed his hands back up.

He let the tips of his fingers brush the bottoms of her breasts for a few moments before he slid his hands up to cup her chest. Her breasts fit in the palms of his hands and her nipples were hard but not as hard as he was. He swore he had never been so hard in his life and Tess could feel every inch of him through his sweats and the thin material of her sleep shorts.

“Okay?” He asked breathlessly and Tess nodded.

“Yeah,” she replied shakily.

Anthony gave both of them a minute as he held her chest in his hands, feeling her heart racing against his touch. Tess’s chest heaved against him and his lips were parted as he held her gaze before he pinched her nipples between his fingers.Her eyes closed as she moaned louder than before and Anthony was addicted to the sound. His bottom lip was red and worn and a moan slipped from his lips when Tess rolled her hips into his. “Fuck, Tessa,” he said breathlessly and rolled her nipples between his fingers.

Anthony had always stirred something in Tess but he was doing a lot more than just stirring and she couldn’t get enough of him. She had been terrified that it wouldn’t be good, that it would be awkward, but she was wrong. It was amazing having Anthony touch her. Her hair was a mess as she arched into him and when she ground her hips against his, she pulled a strained groan from him that made clench around nothing.

The more Anthony pinched her nipples, the louder her moans got and it was the hottest thing Anthony had ever heard and he wanted nothing more than to take her apart and see how loud he could make her. But Sorel’s room wasn’t all that far away and they couldn’t wake her. “Tessa,” Anthony breathed. “I need you to quiet a bit.”

Her hips immediately stilled and she looked at him with flushed cheeks, “fuck, I’m sorry.”

“I’m not,” Anthony replied immediately and pinched her nipples again, pulling a sharp gasp from her. “I just don’t want to stop so please don’t wake Ellie.”

Tess knew he was right, but it was so hard for her to be quiet when he was touching her like that and she could feel how much he wanted her. She rolled her hips down against his, creating beautiful friction which pulled a loud moan from her and Anthony tried to quiet her with his lips but he just ended up moaning against her.

Slowly he broke the kiss to kiss down her neck again as he pinched her nipples, pulling another moan from her and he was about to ask to take her shirt off so he could see her as well as he could feel her when the sharp sound of Sorel’s cries cut through the room.

“Fuck,” Anthony cursed and leaned his head against Tess’s shoulder with a groan before he let his hands fall to her hips. He was finally going to have her and of course Sorel had to ruin it. “Maybe she’ll cry herself out?” He tried and Tess nodded. But no matter how long they sat there, Sorel didn’t stop crying so Tess slowly untangled herself from him with a sigh.

Her hair was messy and her skin flushed and all Anthony wanted to do was ruin her.

“I’ll get her,” she told Anthony and gave his thigh a pat before she made her way to Sorel’s room, leaving Anthony alone on the couch. He ran his hand over his face as he sunk into the couch, his desire for her clearly visible through his sweats. He had been cock blocked before, but never like this.

And Sorel was usually so good so he expected it would be a quick check in and put down, but the minutes ticked by and Tess didn’t come back out. Anthony groaned and threw his head back against the couch before he got up to check on them, after he adjusted himself of course.

He found Tess swaying with Sorel in her arms while Sorel gripped her shirt tightly. “She doesn’t want to let go,” Tess sighed as she looked over at Anthony.

“You were pretty loud,” he replied softly. “Maybe… Maybe she thought I was hurting you?”

Tess couldn’t help but burst out in laughter as she blushed, but it… It wasn’t that far fetched at all. Ever since they got together and Anthony had been showing more affection toward Tess, Sorel had been getting fussy with Anthony and pushing him away, so it wouldn’t be that hard to fathom that Sorel did think he was hurting her mom… Even if he was doing the opposite.

Anthony sighed and stepped forward to take her from Tess, even if he had to gently pry her fingers from Tess’s shirt. “Daddy wasn’t hurting mommy, okay? Now why don’t you go back to sleep so mommy and daddy can go back to what they were doing.”

“Anthony!” Tess scolded as she gave him a pointed look but he just shrugged. And, of course, Sorel only cried louder as Anthony held her and reached her hand out to Tess until she took her back.

It took them too long to get Sorel back down, she really didn’t want to let go of Tess, but once her door was closed behind them, Anthony let his hand trail down Tess’s back as he bit his lip. “So…” he started. “Where were we?”

Tess took a deep breath and scrunched her nose up before she looked up at him and she didn’t have to say anything for him to know the moment was long gone. “It’s late,” Tess told him. “Tonight was fun, but I’m tired and honestly I think I’m getting a headache from the crying and I just want to go to bed.”

Anthony took a deep breath as he nodded, “yeah, yeah, of course.”

Tess gave him a soft smile and kissed the corner of his mouth before she gave his chest a pat and went to brush her teeth, and Anthony flopped onto the couch with a groan as soon as she closed the door.

He loved his daughter dearly, but fuck.

It had been over a year since the last time he got any and it was Tess and he could still feel her on his lap, the warmth of her against where he needed her most, and how perfect her breasts were in his hands. Tess was perfect, he had always known that, but feeling her, hearing her, having her like that… He hadn’t realized how truly perfect she was and—

“Are you okay?” Tess asked, snapping him out of his thoughts.

“Huh?” He replied, looking up at her like a deer in headlights.

Tess laughed and gave his thigh a pat as she sat down next to him. “I asked if you were okay because you were staring out into space,” she said.

“Oh,” he replied softly. “Yeah, I’m good. I mean, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a little… frustrated, but yeah, I’m good.”

Tess blushed and looked down as she fiddled with her shirt. “Sorry…” she said softly but Anthony shook his head.

“You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for,” he told her. “We tested the waters tonight and it was good, right?”

Tess nodded, “yeah.”

“Then we’re good. And you should never apologize for being as hot as you are. If anything, I should be the one apologizing because I’m probably going to end up hard against your ass tonight.”

He made Tess laugh at least and she leaned into him and rested her head on his shoulder. “I love you,” she told him after a long moment.

Anthony softened and wrapped his arm around her, “I love you more.”

“Not possible,” she told him and kissed him before he could argue. Anthony melted into the kiss and gently cupped her cheek. She could disagree with him all she wanted but Anthony had never love anyone the way he loved her and he knew he’d never love anyone else the same way.

It was Tess for him.

It was always going to be Tess,

His Tess.

She bit her lip when she pulled back from the kiss and Anthony tilted his head as he looked at her, knowing she had something in mind and already feeling like he wasn’t going to like it. “Tess—” he started but she cut him off as she patted his thigh.

“We need to tell our parents about us.”

Anthony’s groan may have even been louder than her moans and he leaned over to press his face into her lap, “please don’t talk about my mother when I’m still hard.”

Tess’s laugh warmed his chest and she gently carded her fingers through his hair. “Sorry,” she whispered. “But we do, you know we do.”

“I know,” he sighed and rolled onto his back to look up at her. “You know they’ll never let us hear the end of this, right?”

Tess breathed a laugh and let her hand rest on his chest and Anthony was quick to cover it with his own. “I know. But we need to tell them before they figure it out themselves, and my mom’s gonna know the moment she sees us. Connor did.”

Anthony ran his thumb over her knuckles as he gave her a lopsided smile, “love me that much, huh?” He laughed when she scrunched her nose up and when she shoved his chest, he tightened his hold on her hand and leaned up to catch her lips in a soft kiss. “I love you that much, too, Tessa.”

She scrunched her nose up again at the use of her full name and to still the butterflies he still gave her. “So, we’ll tell them then?” She pressed.

“How about we tell yours and leave mine till the summer?” He tried and Tess shook her head.

“Mine first, but we’re not waiting till June to tell your family. I don’t want to get off on the wrong foot with your parents.”

Anthony scoffed and pushed himself up to sit beside her, his hand on her thigh. “Please,” he started. “My mom loves you almost as much as I do. I could tell her we eloped and she’d just be happy to have you in the family.” Tess could see the gears begin to turn behind Anthony’s eyes and he continued, “now that I say it, we should wait until—”

“Absolutely not,” she cut him off. “We’ll tell my mom first then you’re calling your parents to tell them.”

“What if I send her a picture and turn my phone off?” He suggested, though mostly just to rile her up some more, finding her persistence adorable.

“What if I didn’t kiss you until you told your parents?” Tess replied without missing a beat and bit her lip as she looked over at Anthony, proud of herself.

“You wouldn’t,” he breathed as his face dropped. He was right, she wouldn’t. Now that she had had a taste of him, she didn’t she’d ever be able to give him up. But Tess shrugged and Anthony made a strained sound in his throat before he pulled her back onto his lap and kissed her again. “Now that I’ve had you, I can’t go a day without you, so, okay. We’ll call my mom after we tell yours.”

Tess’s smile lit up his whole world and when she kissed the corner of his mouth, he cupped her jaw and redirected her so he could kiss her properly and deeply. She made a soft sound against his lips and fisted his shirt as she felt him again. “Anthony,” she breathed a warning and he pressed his face into her shoulder with a groan.

“I know, I know. I can’t help it,” he told her. “You just do things to me.”

She blushed as she shook her head before she patted his shoulder and pulled back to sit beside him. “TV until your friend calms down and then bed,” she told him and reached for the remote. “We’ll tell my mom the next time we see her.”

Anthony rolled his eyes but nodded, “fine.”

And he was right, even after watching TV he ended up hard against Tess’s ass that night and the next morning, but this time he didn’t pull back and Tess didn’t get flustered or push him away.

---

Tess was right, Lisa knew as soon as she saw them.

It was on Anthony’s face.

It had always been in his eyes. The last couple times they had come over, he had looked at Tess with hope and possibility, but this time… This time it was different. He held the door open for her and let his hand rest on her lower back as they toed their shoes off, and his touch lingered as Tess stepped toward Lisa with Sorel in her arms, and she just had a funny suspicion.

“How’s my grandbaby?” Lisa asked as she took Sorel from her daughter and Anthony ducked his head as he smiled.

Sorel giggled and Tess smiled before she glanced back at Anthony for a moment. “She’s good. Been having some issues sleeping through the night, but she’s good,” Tess replied and blushed softly as she remembered the exact reason Sorel hadn’t slept through the night the week before.

Lisa kissed both of Sorel’s cheeks as they moved into the living room. “Issues sleeping, baby girl?” She asked Sorel in a playful voice that made her laugh again. “What kind of issues?”

“Wake up in the night, crying, that sort of thing,” Tess shrugged as she sat down on the couch and Anthony sat down next to her and gave her thigh a reassuring squeeze, though whether he was reassuring her or himself was up for debate.

“Oh,” Lisa hummed as she looked at Sorel. “Have you tried putting socks on her for bed?” She asked and looked back at Tess and Anthony.

Tess looked over at Anthony and he gave a small shrug of his shoulders. “No, we haven’t,” he replied. “But we certainly will,” he quickly added. “Thank you.”

Lisa pressed another kiss to Sorel’s cheeks and looked back at her daughter and Anthony. They were sitting closer together than normal and his hand rested on her thigh and Tess didn’t knock it away or seemed to have a dark blush to her cheeks like she’d always get. She watched as Tess pushed her hair behind her ears, a long time anxious habit, and Anthony looked over at Tess at the movement.

Lisa had seen Anthony look at her daughter a lot. She had watched his gaze go from friends to something else; watched as his eyes went from hope and possibility to confidence and sure. His thumb rubbed soft circles on her thigh and the corner of his lip twitched up as he looked at her even though Tess wasn’t looking back at him, and Lisa watched as his gaze dipped down to Tess’s lips for half a moment and his smile grew.

Lisa smiled as she settled Sorel on her lap. “So how long have you two been together?” She asked, making Anthony’s head whip toward her and neither of them had to say anything for her suspicions to be confirmed, Anthony’s deer in headlights look said it all.

Slowly, Anthony looked back at Tess and she covered his hand with hers as she smiled before she looked back at her mom. “Almost a month,” she answered, making Lisa’s smile grow.

She always knew her daughter’s feelings for Anthony, Tess had had them for years. If she was being honest, she wasn’t always fond of Anthony with him being a hot shot hockey player and all. She was terrified that he was going to break her daughter’s heart beyond repair, but she had to admit that he had really proven her wrong over the years and she was glad he did. She was happy for them.

“We came here to tell you, but…” Tess continued and looked at Anthony. “You kinda figured it out.”

“Anthony kinda made it obvious,” Lisa laughed and scrunched her nose up as Tess gave Anthony a playful shove that made Tess’s smile grow.

“I knew it,” Tess muttered and Anthony smiled as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

“No, you didn’t, you thought you’d give it away,” he replied as his smile widened.

“Shut up,” she muttered and leaned into him in a way that definitely said she wasn’t mad at him.

“I’m very happy for you,” Lisa told them. “The two of you…” She glanced at Sorel before looking back at them. “You’re good for each other.”

“I try to be,” Anthony replied without hesitation. “I just want to look after my girls.”

Lisa’s smile softened as she looked at him and she kissed Sorel’s cheek before she set her down on the carpet and Anthony gave Tess an unsure look as Lisa disappeared into the kitchen, but Tess could only shrug. She didn’t know either. Lisa was only gone a moment before she came back with a bottle of wine and three glasses. “This calls for celebration,” she grinned as she set the glasses and bottle down on the coffee table and Tess pressed her face into Anthony’s shoulder as she groaned. “Well, it’s not every day my daughter starts dating an NHL player.”

“Mom, please,” Tess begged and Anthony gently ran his hand up and down her back.

“What?” She asked as she poured the wine and handed the glasses to them before she settled back into her chair with her glass and crossed her legs. “Can a mother not be happy for her daughter? And come on, I want all the details.”

Anthony laughed at the very large drink of wine Tess took and kissed her temple. “There’s not much to say,” he answered for her. “It was after Ellie’s birthday and I couldn’t stop looking at her and I just couldn’t keep my feelings to myself any longer.” His gaze softened as he looked over at Tess and she smiled despite the blush clinging to her cheeks.

They continued talking over their glasses of wine while Sorel played on the floor, and it honestly didn’t take long before Anthony ended up on the floor with her, managing only a few sips of wine between Sorel and the conversation. And once it was time for Sorel’s afternoon nap, Lisa headed to the kitchen to start preparing for dinner while Tess took Sorel up for her nap.

Anthony followed Lisa, picking up his and Tess’s glasses along the way. He was happy to help however he could and he washed the veggies as Lisa pulled everything else out. She thanked Anthony as she took the veggies from him but shooed him away when he tried to help.

She had just started to half the cherry tomatoes when Anthony took it upon himself to refill her wine glass and Lisa gave him a soft smile before she put her knife down and turned to him. Anthony’s smile slipped at her expression and he put the bottle down before he leaned back against the counter. “I meant it when I said I was happy for you two,” she started, making Anthony take a breath, sensing a ‘but’. “But she’s still my daughter, and without her father…” Lisa sighed before she shook her head and pushed her chin back up. “If you hurt her, I will kill you.”

Anthony breathed a small laugh and nodded. “If I hurt her, I’d let you,” he told her honestly. “But I don’t intend to do that, I promise.” He looked down at his hands as his smile softened. “I’ve never felt this way before, and I know we’ve only been together for a month, but I mean it when I tell you that I hope to marry her one day.”

Lisa softened and she nodded as she stepped closer to him and she gently squeezed his shoulder, “I hope you do, too. But that doesn’t change my warning. I like you, more than I ever thought I would actually, but she’s my little girl.”

His expression softened as he nodded. “I know,” he whispered. “I’d expect nothing less.”

“Good,” Lisa nodded and squeezed his shoulder again. She knew he meant it when he said he wanted to marry Tess, she could see it in his eyes, and though it was early, she meant it when she said she hoped he would. She could still remember the first time she realized she wanted to marry Tess’s father and her heart ached as she pulled back from him.

“And while I have you, don’t get me wrong I love Ellie, but I do hope that you and Tess are using protection. I’m not ready for another grandbaby,” she continued and Anthony’s eyes bugged as he flushed and he opened and closed his mouth as he looked at her, struggling to find his voice as Lisa turned back to preparing dinner.

And, naturally, that was when Tess stepped into the kitchen and she slowed in her steps as she took in her boyfriend’s flushed appearance before she looked to her mother. “What are you two talking about?” She asked slowly, not sure if she really wanted to know.

Lisa gave her an innocent smile that made Tess’s heart drop to her stomach. “I was just making sure you two were using protection,” she replied simply and Tess felt her heartbeat in her ears as she blushed.

“Mom,” she said sharply.

“What?” Lisa asked with a shrug. “One grandbaby is enough for at least another year. Then maybe you two could start trying for another. You don’t want to have them too far apart in age, you know.”

“Mom,” Tess begged, unable to look in Anthony’s direction, but Lisa’s smile only grew and she watched her daughter carefully as Anthony reached out to pull her close and Tess pressed her face into his chest, unable to meet either his or her mother’s gaze.

Young love, Lisa couldn’t help but think to herself. Such a beautiful and precious thing.

#anthony beauvillier #anthony beauvillier imagine #anthony beauvillier story #anthony beauvillier x oc #anthony beauvillier x reader #isles #islanders imagine #new york islanders oneshot #hockey #hockey rpf #hockey imagine #nhl #nhl imagine #mine #Life As We Know It #mat barzal

[toasttt11]

family skate

December 7, 2022

Maleah kneeled down in front of her son as she slipped on his shoes, smiling at his adorable outift, cargo sweatpants, white sweater, black puffer jacket and an orange beanie that is covering his beautiful blonde curls.

“Is Uncle JoJo coming?” Malakai looked at his mother in question as he played with his green dinosaur that is his absolute favorite stuff animal ever.

“He is, he will be here any minute and you guys will have a fun time.” Maleah brushed her hand against his cheek pressing a kiss to his forehead before standing up and picking Malakai up and resting him on his hip.

“Are you sure you can’t come Mama?” Malakai softly asked playing with the ends of his mother’s hair.

“You know i wish i could! But you’ll have lots of fun with Uncle Jojo.” She smiled down at her favorite person feeling terrible she couldn’t make the Devils family skate with John and Malakai, especially since Malakai and her have went to all the other family skate when John played at the Penguins but she had a fashion show at the exact time as the family skate and she has to be there.

Maleah had been so busy the fast few months that Malakai and her haven’t had the chance to meet John’s team yet, especially since Malakai doesn’t love a lot of people and going to games gets quite overwhelming and they tend to watch the games at home. Also the last five or so months the two have done a lot more traveling and just haven’t been home often.

Maleah heard the knock on the front door and walked over to the door with her son in her arms, she opened the door and smiled at her best friend, “Jo!” She smiled watching John smile widely at the two and pull them into a hug.

“Hi Mal and Little Mal!” John grinned kissing Malakai’s cheek, Malakai giggled at his godfather.

“Alright you guys better get going,” Maleah reminded John, “I love you Kai, you be good okay.” She looked down at her son pressing a kiss to his forehead.

“I love you too Mama!” Malakai frowned slightly never liking leaving his mother.

“Come on my little buddy.” John brightly grinned taking Malakai into his arm and picking up his little hand waving at Maleah, “Say bye Mama!”

“Bye Bye.” Maleah fondly waved back at the two watching them head down the hallway and into the elevator.

John walked them into the parking garage and heading to his car, he opened the passenger seat and set Malakai into his car seat that is always in John’s car, John buckled the seat belt and handed Malakai his green dinosaur before closing the door and heading into the drivers seat.

John drove to the Devils Arena and parked his car in the parking spot, he hopped out of the car and opened the passenger door and took his godson out of the car seat.

“You wanna walk or be held?” John asked Malakai, Malakai made a thinking face before holding on to John’s hand meaning he wants to walk, “Alright. We do have to leave Mr.Dino in the car, he might be cold at the rink.” Malakai made a sad face but reached up and set his stuff animal in the car.

John made sure to walk slowly with Malakai holding his hand, they walked through the hallway to the locker room seeing a lot of the players with their friends and family.

John having been traded to the Devils the beginning of the season and this would be his first family skate with the Devils, his parents couldn’t make it and Maleah tried but she had to be at her show.

Nico Hischer looked over from where he was talking with his parents and sister and saw John standing with a young boy. Nico smiled and excused himself and walked over to John and he kneeled down in front of the young boy, “Hi, I’m Nico, what’s your name?” Nico held out his hand towards the young kid and smiled comforting at the kid.

Malakai looked up at his godfather for permission, John smiled and nodded. Malakai shyly shook Nico’s hand, “I’m Malakai.”

“That’s a very cool name Malakai!” Nico smiled at the boy.

“Thank you.” Malakai smiled slightly at Nico.

“Who’s this adorable little guy!” Jack Hughes smiled walking over seeing John with a little boy.

“This is Malakai he’s my godson.” John fondly smiled as he looked down at Malakai ruffling his hair.

“I’m Jack!” Jack smiled widely at the young boy and pulled a funny face making Malakai giggle slightly.

John felt himself relax slightly seeing his teammates being so kind to Malakai, He scooped up his godson, “Alright let’s get your skates on.” He spun them around making Malakai laugh.

John walked them over to his stall and set Malakai down on the stall, pulling out the small ice skates he brought the other day that he has for Malakai, he kneeled down in front of his godson and slipped off his shoes and slipped his tiny feet into the skates and started lanching them up. John stood up and sat down next to Malakai quickly putting on his win skates.

“Ready to go?” John held out a hand for Malakai, The boy nodded and hopped up grabbing his godfathers hands, while John grabbed his stick and Malakai’s very tiny stick and small helmet.

John slipped on the helmet onto Malakai’s head and clicked it on, before they started walking out of the locker room and headed down to the rink.

Malakai quickly got onto the ice extremely smoothly having been on the ice since before he could walk.

John was skating right behind Malakai knocking some pucks onto the ice letting Malakai grab on with his hockey stick.

“Oh, you better move!” John teased gently hitting his stick in front of Malakai trying to take the puck away, Malakai giggled but kept the puck to his stick and hit into the goal.

“Ohhhhh and Malakai scoresss!” John cheered putting his arms around his waist and spinning Malakai around.

“Uncle JoJo!” Malakai giggled throwing his little head back as his godfather spun him around like crazy.

“Who is this adorable little dude?” Alex Holtz skated next to John, holding his hand out for fist bump.

“This is Malakai! He’s my godson.” John proudly introduced him to Alex, Malakai hit his fist to Alex’s.

“He’s so cute!” Dawson Mercer smiled as he skated on the other side of John waving at Malakai.

“Thank you.” Malakai shyly whispered.

John and Malakai said bye to Dawson and Alex and they continued skating when one of the Media people asked to take a picture of them.

Malakai rested his head against John’s leg smiling, John rested his head on the back of Malakai’s helmet.

The media person said bye and skated away.

“Can we take a picture for Mama?” Malakai asked excitedly knowing his mother loves getting pictures when he is away.

“Course buddy.” John pulled out his phone and kneeled down next to him and held up his phone as the two smiled at the camera, John quickly sent the photo it Maleah before putting her phone away.

Nico saw the media team asking John to do an interview and saw Malakai with John, Nico skated over and rested a reassuring hand on John’s shoulder, “I can watch him?” Nico asked if John would be comfortable with that.

“Okay thank you.” John smiled, he looked down at Malakai, “Be good?” John not to worried about letting Malakai go with Nico because they are only gonna be on the ice.

“Okay.” Malakai smiled and looked over at Nico, “Do you have your stick?”

“I do it’s by the bench.” Nico smiled and slowly skated with Malakai following him to the bench. Nico grabbed his stick and saw Malakai having a puck against his stick.

Nico smiled seeing Malakai already so comfortable skating around and him being so young and already so impressive with a stick and puck.

“How long have you been skating?” Nico questioned as they passed the puck back and forth.

“Mama says she brought me on the ice since i could stand,” Malakai responded and Nico saw how much the little boys face lite up talking about his mother, “Mama use to play when she younger, Uncle Jojo, Uncle Matty and Uncle Anty all play in the NHL.”

Nico face turned in thought, “What teams do they play on?”

“Uncle Jojo plays with you, Uncle Maty plays at the Islanders and Uncle Anty plays for the Canucks.”

Nico slowly nodded trying to figure out the players real names, “Anty is Anthony Beauvillier?” Malakai hummed and nodded, “And Matty is Matthew Barzal?”

“Yeah he’s my Mama’s brother!” Malakai proudly told Nico.

Nico’s eyes widen realizing exactly who his mother is, Maleah Barzal. Nico having saw her for the first time in 2017 at a game and he was awestruck and he’s never seen her again at any games but he follows her on Instagram and saw her posting her son but she never showed her son’s face so Nico didn’t realize until now.

“Do you go and see them play?” Nico curiously asked as he hit the puck back to him.

“Sometimes, i get um Mama says the world is owhelming.” Malakai stuttered over his word not remembering the word his Mama said.

“Overwhelming?” Nico guessed.

Malakai nodded, “Yeah that one, there’s a lot of people at games so we watch at home alot.”

“It does get a lot sometimes.” Nico sympathized remembering the first time he ever went to a hockey game when he was young and how overwhelmed he was.

“I like going.” Malakai has felt bad when he got so anxious and Maleah and him started going less because he knows his mom misses going.

Nico hummed an idea coming to mind, something he would talk to John about.

Nico and Malakai set the sticks back on the bench choosing to skate around and Malakai slowly reached up and held onto Nico’s hand, Nico looked down and couldn’t help this heart from squeezing in fondness for Malakai.

John ended up taking a little while longer than he thought and when he skated back he saw a sight that he couldn’t help but smile at. Nico looking down softly at Malakai as he held onto his little hand as they skated together.

John skated around to the other side of Malakai and held onto his other hand.

Malakai and John skated with Nico for the rest of the family skate before the got off the ice with the rest of the players and families.

John kneeled down in front of Malakai untying his little skates noticing Malakai’s little yawns and the way his little eyes were starting to drop.

John picked Malakai up and set him on his hip, Malakai rested his head on John’s shoulder and slowly could feel his eyes starting to drop.

John waved to his teammates noticing Malakai fast asleep in his arms and quietly and quickly headed out to his car. John gently set him into his car seat and hoped into the drivers seat heading back to Maleah’s penthouse.

John pulled into the parking garage shutting off the car, he hopped out of his seat and opened the door getting a still sleeping Malakai out of his car seat.

John walked through the apartment building up to the penthouse floor and knocked at the door.

Maleah quickly opened the door and smiled seeing them she gently took Malakai into her arms and sighed in relief holding her baby again.

She moved over letting John walk in and take his shoes off, “Let me put him to bed and you get changed there is dinner on the counter.” Maleah having only just gotten back a few minutes ago and brought dinner home for them.

Maleah turned around and headed into the hallway and down to Malakai’s room, she walked in pulling back his blankets and gently set him down on the bed. She slipped off his jacket, beanie and shoes not even making him stir and left him in his sweatpants and sweater.

Malakai was cuddling his dinosaur tightly between his little arms. “Goodnight i love you.” Maleha leaned down pressing a kiss to his forehead as she covered him up with blankets.

She stood up and walked over to the window closing the blinds all the way and turned on his sound machine before quietly walking out of the room leaving the door cracked open.

Maleha walked into the living room seeing John already poured them wine and was putting the food on his plate.

“This is why you’re my best friend.” Maleah spoke as she sat on the couch next to him picking up her glass of wine.

John laughed as he turned on the TV putting on the show they have been watching.

Maleah and John stayed on the couch for the next few hours watching their show and drinking wine.

#maleahbarzalau #nhl x reader #jack hughes #luke hughes #nico hischier x oc #nico hischier #jesper bratt #dawson mercer #alex holtz x oc #mat barzal x oc #mat barzal #anthony beauvillier #john marino x oc #john marino #new jersey devils #ny islanders #nhl x oc #nhl blurbs #nhl blurb #nhl imagine #nh13

[equallyshaw]

a blue moon w mat barzal.

insta edit.

Warnings: none !

Word Count: 1.8k+

Not the best, but wanted to get something out. A bit rusty, but hope you enjoy!

────────────

they met at a very grand and very chic new years party, at the plaza hotel in midtown manhattan 3 years ago. she had been swaying to the old 1950’s music, sipping sparingly on the very expensive $600 champagne. she watched as my older sister danced with her newly minted fiance at the time, as the two had just become engaged over the very snowy christmas eve. lucy had originally planned to bring her boyfriend of 6 years to the new years eve party, but he broke up with her a week before christmas day. out of the blue, very sudden, and gave her no clarity whatsoever.

☆

blue moon, you saw me standing alone

without a dream in my heart without a love of my own

☆

but there she was, watching the loved up couples dancing as time winded down to midnight. She peered over her shoulder, towards the balcony and sighed, before making her way over. her newly gifted jimmy choo heals clicked uncomfortably on the marble floor. she felt an instant sigh of relief as the brunette stepped foot outside to the 12-degree, cold. she walked up to the railing and looked out of busy, busy new york, taking in all the sights and sounds, and the stray snow coming down as well. she smiled down at her hand, twisting the glass ever so slightly. she then looked up and to her right, and saw him. a tall, dark haired, mysterious man who leaned against the railing, looking towards the city. smiling, picking up her glass and walkedon over. he heard the heels clicking on the concrete and looked up towards the girl. he was gorgeous. her breath halted ever so slightly, and blushed. “fancy some company?” grinning, sipping her champagne. He watched as she did so, him intoxicated by her sheer presence. he took in all 5’4 of her, black dress and her bruntte hair in perfect waves. “why are you all alone?” he questioned, “no girl like you- should ever be alone.” forward, which she loved. whe smiled, “i could say the same to you shakespeare…” and he looked down ever so quickly.

"my ex broke up with me a month ago…nobody to take to the party. You?” he said shrugging. “ny boyfriend broke up with me..last week.” she said and he then saluted his drink towards her. “i suggest, were gonna need more of that.” he grinned, before alerting a server that they needed two new glasses of champagne. she looked at him with curiosity, as he thanked the server. she took the new glass, clinking her’s with his and swallowed a fine amount.

☆

blue moon, you knew just what i was there for

you heard me saying a prayer for someone I really could care for

☆

the night sky dawned upon them as they spoke outside at the party. the two spoke of who they were, where they come from, their past relationships, and more. the two couldn’t believe how they were so alike, yet very different. two different worlds colliding, so very smoothly. lucy stood there in shock, as mat waited for a response. “so quickly? She questioned and he nodded. “you’d go into a relationship without somebody so quickly after 3 years of dating?” he laughed. the laugh sending electricity and heat up her body. She watched as it traveled throughout his body, seemingly normal. Though, he hadn’t had a good chuckle that good in awhile. “what about you, miss lucy?” he questioned, watching her tug his tux’s jacket closer to her. “I mean, maybe? It would have to be the right person and if it fell right. I want somebody that will be there high and low, and in between. Somebody who will say yes no matter what to my crazy idea or suggestion…” mat cut her off- “which would be?” he grinned. She blushed, “maybe getting joes pizza at 2 am or ice cream at malibu diner..the simple things.” she teased sipping more of her drink. “I wish for that person as well, to stand by me through all the ups and downs of hockey and the chaotic life it brings.” he added and she nodded, placing a hand on his arm. “i do too, mathew.” she smiled, before sliding the jacket off and placing it in his hands. The two’s hands grazed one another’s, and she moved them so slightly, they were nothing longer touching. he looked down at the jacket and back up at her, but she was already on her way back inside. “lucy!” though she slipped right inside as soon as he said her name. he hurried inside to find her, but was too late, the madness had begun as the clock struck 12.

☆

and then there suddenly appeared before me

the only one my arms could ever hold

☆

mat walked into the grand ballroom at the plaza, one year later for the annual new years ever party. he scanned the room for one girl, and one girl only. the girl that had stolen his heart in the 45 minutes he knew her. a girl he had yet to see at joes pizza at 2 am or the malibu diner. anders pulled him further into the room as he spotted him walk in. “come on the guys are waiting.” mat sighed as he walked over towards bo horvat, zach parise, mat martin and beau; who had snuck down for new years from vancouver. anders pushed a vintage, tulip glass. he looked down and realized, he hadn’t had any champagne since last new years. he took a gulp, before the spicy yet sweet sensation tingled his throat. “Im gonna go look at the buffet.” he said and the guys nodded going back to their conversation and food. mat sauntered over to the buffet picking up a small china plate, and digging into the salmon, veggies some lemon rice. mat was about to turn to grab a glass of water when he heard her laugh. he turned so quickly, he bumped into an older gentleman. “oh my god, im so sorry!” he exclaimed bending down to help clean up the ice that spilled from the drink. “Grandpa, are you ok?” he heard her angelic, soft voice. mat looked up from where now the waiter was telling him they had it. He nodded, standing back up. lucy inspected her grandfather, while a man beside her eyed mat. lucy looked past her grandpa, and had a moment of realization. “Mat?” she questioned, and mat ever the dumb-looking mat nodded. “how are you?” she questioned, reaching out to hug him like the two had known one another for years, they pulled apart and thats when he saw it. He saw the vintage, at least 200,000 dollar engagement ring. she saw him look down at it, and she slowly pulled her hand back behind her back, where it had been most of the night. “how are you? who are you here with?” she questioned, as her fiance fell into side with her. “im uh, ive been good! Im here with some of my teammates.” he explained while pointing to the other side of the room. “oh good! glad its more people this time.” she smiled, a soft smile. He nodded, “so are you two?” he questioned putting the clues together. “Yes! We got engaged in July, while we were vacationing in Italy at my family’s estate.” lorenzo explained. mat nodded trying to read the girl’s face, who was trying to look anywhere but his. “hun, may you get me a drink please?” she asked and lorenzo nodded, kissing her temple before walking off.

“Congrats by the way.” mat said, and she nodded. “Yeah…sorry to ambush you.” she said patting down her silver dress. mat shrugs, “i mean how else would i know?” he asked giving an uncomfortable laugh. “Not like it was in the papers or anything.” he stated jokingly, and then he saw her face. “yeah, my family is uh pretty wealthy and uh..yeah.” she said sheepishly and then lorenzo walked back up, with a cosmopolitan in his hand. “thankyou.” she said taking it from his hand and setting it on the table behind them. “i uh should probably be heading back to my friends, im sorry for for your drink sir.” he motioned towards her grandpa, and he waved him off. “im just glad i got another one for our sake.” he laughed, causing mat to laugh as well. lucy smirked, knowing that her grandpa hadn’t had a hearty laugh like that with lorenzo. mat walks away, and lorenzo is in distress.

mat watched from a far for about 45 minutes, a tense conversation between the fiances. he saw lorenzo walk out of the ballroom, and lucy towards the terrace. he followed her about 5 minutes after the door was closed behind her. he walked outside, and she turned around instantly. she had hoped he saw that she walked out. “lucy?” he questioned, pulling off his jacket like he had done last year and draped it over her shoulders, and he wrapped his arms from behind, pulling her into him. she smiled widely, “i had been waiting to..to be held by you once again.” she smiled up at him. he blushed, “you are the only one i want to hold.” he whispered in her ear, staring at the city in front of him.

☆

Iiheard somebody whisper please adore me

and when I looked the moon had turned to gold

☆

she turned around in his arms, looking up at him. “i’ve decided to leave a life i thought was meant for me, and what i wanted but…i dont want that mat. he was never the one, those 45 minutes were the best 45 minutes of my life mat. i havent been able to stop thinking about you since last year. and i dont want him, i want you mat. only you.” she confessed and he smiled, pulling her in as close as possible. “i wanted somebody to adore me…the way i adore them.” she whispered, and he nodded. he drawed her chin towards his, his cool hands sending waves of sensation down her spine, before he kissed the brunette. the rare full moon of new years eve, cascaded down upon them. no longer a ‘blue’ moon but a ‘gold’ one at that.

☆

the two start their first dance as partners, at the very place they met for the first time and three years after they first met. when the two were presented with picking the date, the two looked at one another and instantly knew when and where. and with a little help from her grandpa, the two were to wed on new years eve at one of the most sought-after hotel in nyc. and there plans for after midnight? a 45 minute walk to malibu diner for icecream and pie.

☆

hope you all enjoyed!! pls like and repost, itd mean a lot.

random tags: @matbaerzal @barzysunflower @barzal @rosesvioletshardy @canuckshuggy @bitchinbarzal @andreburakozy @jayda12

#mat barzal #mat barzal x oc #nhl #hockey #nhl imagine #hockey imagine #new York islanders #matt martin #anthony beauvillier #tyson jost #mat barzal imagine #equallyshaw masterlist

[offside-the-lines]

tell me who i run to (if not you)

anthony beauvillier x genevieve gignac (OC)

key lyrics that inspired me under the cut

I Am My Own Muse by Fall Out Boy

We got to throw this year away like a Bad luck charm// I'm just trying to keep it together But it gets a little harder when it never gets better

Say Something Loving by The XX

You say something loving It’s so overwhelming, the thrill of affection Feels so unfamiliar// I feel it taking over. Before it slips away Don't let it slip away

Forces by Japanese Wallpaper

You’re feeling in your bones But you don’t act on it There’s something in your heart But you won’t talk, talk, talk about it// ‘Cause I’ve been thinking ‘bout it And I’ve been dreaming ‘bout you Won’t do a thing about this ‘Cause I don’t wanna ruin you

HAZE by 5 Seconds Of Summer

And when I open my eyes I hope to see your face // Got me feeling alright when the feeling’s long gone Got me feelin' uptight every moment you're gone

Put You Through Me by Arrows in Action

Am I supposed to let myself be everything you need So sweet, then leave? I don't wanna put you through me// If we end up going down this road You'll end up underneath my feet eventually

Talk Too Much by Reneé Rapp

I'm taking everything I see as a sign and I know it's crazy But what if it's right// I'm here again Talkin' myself out of My own happiness

Lose Control by Teddy Swims

Yeah, it's takin' a toll on me, tryin' my best to keep From tearin' the skin off my bones, don't you know// I lose control When you're not next to me (when you're not here with me) I'm fallin' apart right in front of you, can't you see?

Heaven’s Gate by Fall Out Boy

One look from you And I'm on that faded love// If there were any more left of me I'd give it to you And I'll tell you that I am fine But I'm a missile that's guided to you

All I Ask by Adele

So why don't we just play pretend? Like we're not scared of what's coming next// All I ask is If this is my last night with you Hold me like I'm more than just a friend Give me a memory I can use

Baby Annihilation by Fall Out Boy

Time is luck and I wish ours overlapped more or for longer

 Heaven, Iowa by Fall Out Boy

Twice the dreams, but half the love Be careful what you bottle up The chemistry is a mess, it seems But me, I'm still a sunbeam// I will never ask you for anything Except to dream sweet of me

Instrumental: Intro by the XX

Bishops Knife Trick by Fall Out Boy

Looking for pieces of broken hourglass Trying to get it all back As if the time had never passed I know I should walk away,  But I just want to let you break my brain And I can't seem to get a grip// The glow of the cities below lead us back To the places that we never should have left

 I Wanna Be Yours by Arctic Monkeys

Hold your hair in deep devotion At least as deep as the Pacific Ocean// Secrets I have held in my heart Are harder to hide than I thought Maybe I just wanna be yours I wanna be yours, I wanna be yours

 You’re On My Mind by Tom Misch

Please tell me that you feel the same That we're on the same train// Nighttime, and I'm thinking of you Each dawn of every day You're on my mind// You're all I can find You're on my mind

 Easy by Mac Ayer

I'd be lying if I said that You ain't on my mind Been tryin' to give it some time// Feelin' like I'm runnin' away Never had the chance, chance to say I can say that loving you is easy

Best Part by Daniel Caeser (ft. H.E.R.)

You're the coffee that I need in the morning You're my sunshine in the rain when it's pouring//You're my water when I'm stuck in the desertYou're the Tylenol I take when my head hurtsYou're the sunshine on my lifeIf life is a movieThen you're the best part

ILYSB - STRIPPED by LANY

And you need to know You're the only one//And you need to knowThat you keep me up all night//Oh, my heart hurts so goodI love you, babeSo bad

#tell me who i run to series #rox writes

[pcttymcrlecu]

Psssst, it’s me! Your fic exchange writer! I hope you are as excited as I am for your fic! I have a couple quick questions for you so I can get started.

Love the list of players you have! Any chance you could give me a top 3? As a refresher, here is your list of gorgeous men: Andrei Svechnikov, Adrian Kempe, William Nylander, Josh Anderson, Brock Boeser, Pierre-Luc Dubois, Erik Johnson, Anthony Beauvillier, Nico Hischier, Colton Parayko, Mat Barzal, John Marino, Quinn Hughes, Elias Petterson, K'Andre Miller. (Can you see why I need you to narrow it down!? Your taste is excellent.)

Are there any songs or lyrics or quotes you love that you would like to see put into your fic?

If you do Spotify wrapped, what are two songs on there that fit your vibe?

What are the themes that have you kicking your feet? What themes would you be bummed out to receive?

Do you prefer reader-based fics or OC? If so, do you have a name preference?

You will be getting a happy ending! But would you perfect for it to be a full comfort fic, or have some angst to it as well?

hiii!! sorry this is a little late response 🫣 i am super duper excited though!!

I'm going to hide the answers under a read more so as to not bother people!

As a top three, I would probably choose (in no particular order): Andrei Svechnikov (I just adore him more than words can say), I am in my William Nylander era and because John Marino is new to my list this time around, I'll go with him!

Oooh I can definitely offer up some kind of input there but feel free to literally ignore it entirely. I do enjoy the whole vibe of At My Worst by Pink Sweat$ and Kehlani but also love Kodaline's Wherever You Are or these lyrics have recently struck a chord with me recently "I'm not a solider/But I'll fight through our darkest of days/Get on my shoulders/And I'll carry you all of the way" and also "I wanna slow dance in the living room like/We're eighteen at senior prom and grow/Old with someone who makes me feel young"

I don't do Spotify wrapped but I do use apple replay so hopefully that's fine for you as well! For this year: I think my vibe has been either anthemic or angsty so I'll give you one of each ahah - I'm Still Standing by Elton John and Unsteady by X-Ambassadors.

Anything Friends-to-Lovers/Idiots-to-lovers/the whole Requited-Unrequited Love thing gets me giddy all the time. Oh and how could I possibly forget Fake Dating. I'm a true hopeless romantic at heart so honestly if it could fit into the plot of a 90s/early 00s Rom-Com, it'll make my little heart sing. I really dislike miscommunication(in the sense of people not talking to each other - lost in translation/communication is okay). I'm not a big fan of pregancies (I prefer fun aunt/uncle/cousin vibes) but apart from that I'm not going to lie I'm pretty open, so long as it makes sense.

I like both honestly so I'm going to say it's up to you and what you're most comfortable with (I don't want to handcuff you too much) but it you want a firm response just let me know.

If it's 100% a happy ending, I don't mind a little bit of angst thrown in, you know - for character/dynamic development but I also would't be opposed to snuggling up with a cup of cocoa and the most wonderful piece of comfort prose to just destress a little.

I feel like I half answered a lot of your questions but please if anything is unclear and you need more clarification or you just want me to be decisive for once, let me know ☺️

#( m answers. ) #( fic exchange nonnie. )

[lam-ila]

hello!! this is your fic exchange writer!!

here's some questions to start off!

who would you like most to read about? (maybe 1-5 ranking?)

what's your favorite tropes rn? and songs?

do you have a preference for oc or reader?

how do you usually spend the winter season?

what are your favorite movies or shows?

thank you :)))

-- ❄️⛄

hi! i'm so excited for this!

my top 5 atm are juraj slafkovský, anthony beauvillier, cole caufield, quinn hughes, and mat barzal

i like angst with a happy ending, but i'm also good with whatever you come up with!

i prefer x reader

i don't celebrate any of the "traditional" winter holidays so i spend the winter season finishing up the fall semester of uni (i cry), watching hockey, and i fly home for winter break which is when i spend time with my family and friends. my sisters and i also buy a gingerbread house the day after christmas to make together (they're on sale at that point haha)

i'm a big marvel and star wars fan (although there's a bunch of shows i need to catch up on) and my other favourite movies are the parent trap (1997), the princess diaries (one and two), and the princess bride

hope this helped!

#2024 winter fic exchange anon <3 #<- your tag #maleeha answers asks

[typical-simplelove]

One Man Band (A. Beauvillier)

Summary: Melody has always been on her own. She never felt the need to open up or open up the floodgates to her heart. She always thought she was content with being alone, but then, she meets Anthony and Melody isn't sure she wants to be alone anymore.

Author's Note: This fic is based on Old Dominion's One Man Band. It's based on many personal experiences, and it's exactly what I hope to have and be able to do one day. Please, be kind with this fic. As always, enjoy!

Warnings: bad parents; verbally abusive parents (not mentioned in too much detail); closed off walls; being extremely private; crying; might be proofread, I can't remember if it is

Word Count: 10k including song lyrics

Been flyin' solo for so long Nobody's singing the harmony Up there just me and my shadow No bass, no guitar, no tambourine

Each morning, Melody sat on the window seat of a three-seater on her MetroNorth commuter train. She looked out the window and watched the sun lighten the sky over the Hudson River. Some mornings, Melody watched the sky turn pink hues, orange/yellow hues, or she watched the fog settle into the sky on a rainy or humid morning. She watched the geese swim in the water and smiled as she watched them fight over food. She always groaned when the train stopped in Grand Central. It was too early. She was tired and going to a job that made her feel fine. Her accounting job was fine. She enjoyed it, but it wasn't life fulfilling. She was content. She was happy with what she had.

Melody got off the train and joined the anonymous heads walking to the main center of Grand Central. She walked, listening to her music, mixing in with the other people going to their next destination. That's what life was for Melody. Go from one place to another. She went from one place to the next. Melody went from her New York suburban condo to the train to Grand Central to work.

She walked to the MetLife Building to cut through the mass of people and tourists to get to her Midtown office. She hated the tourists sometimes. She knows they didn't do anything wrong except want to have a vacation in New York. However, sometimes, some were truly annoying. Melody walks out of the MetLife Building into Midtown and walks three blocks to her office.

This was her routine. Melody woke up way too early to take her train to Midtown Manhattan. She then worked at a job that did make her happy and content. She then took the train home back to the suburbs despite her friends and coworkers insisting she goes out with them. She always declined by saying she had to go home. It’s not that she didn't want to go out, it was that it was easier to be alone. Melody was a homebody but that didn't sum it up. Melody was a private person. Her life wasn't on display for the world; her life was on display for her world. Her world consisted of her family, sometimes, and very few select friends. She likes the silence and quietness of being alone. You could say she was introverted. It wasn't to say she didn't enjoy the company. It was safe to say that Melody only enjoyed the company of the people closest to her and there weren't many of those. She didn't need anyone else except herself to make her happy.

Despite always getting out of going out for drinks with her coworkers, they refused to let Melody go home straight away after work this time, so Melody is now sitting in a loud bar wanting to escape and trying to find a way to escape. She was tightly holding her drink. Grasping something always made Melody calm down. She was looking around the bar feeling uncomfortable and mapping out every possible escape route. She likes the privacy of her own home and the privacy of her own head. Being in loud spaces with a ton of people made her uncomfortable and want to shrivel up into a ball and hide.

"Hey, I'm Anthony," a man says as he slides up in the chair across from Melody. "Or, you can call me Beau or Tito."

Melody shoots Anthony a small smile that makes his heart skip a beat. He's been watching Melody from where he was sitting with his friends wondering if he should go over and talk to her. She didn't look too comfortable in her current predicament, and he didn't want to creep her or scare her. "Well, Beau or Tito, I'm Melody."

"No, I meant you could call me either Beau or Tito, not both at the same time," he says slightly annoyed, but when he sees Melody's comical look on her face, he knows that she was only joking. "So, Melody? Why are you sitting in a bar alone looking beautiful?"

Melody's cheeks flare up at the compliment. She never did like to get complimented. It wasn't that she wanted to rebut the compliment; it was that she didn't like talking about herself. Melody would rather talk about you rather than talk about herself. When Melody smiles bashfully but doesn't meet Anthony's eye, he knows that he's made her uncomfortable. That was the last thing he wanted to do.

"I'm sorry," he apologizes. There was something about the girl that he wanted to make her as comfortable as possible. He wanted nothing in the world to make a world in which she felt the safest and happiest.

"Don't apologize," Melody instantly says. There was something about Anthony's compliment that made Melody warm inside. She didn't want to roll into a ball and hide when the words slipped from Anthony's mouth. She embraced them and longed for more. Melody knew this feeling. She could feel her thick, long walls slowly crumble with each second she spent with him. She was growing soft for this boy that she barely knows, and it scares her. Melody isn't scared of commitment, but she only wants to commit to someone she trusts to ensure her personal space and privacy. Melody always said that if you broke your trust, it was sure to regain it. However, if you broke her privacy, that was a hard one to regain. "Thank you; I liked it."

Anthony breathes out a sigh of relief. "What are you doing sitting here alone?"

"I'm not. I'm here with a few friends, but they're out and about doing bar stuff."

"Bar stuff?" Anthony asks with a laugh, and Melody's face burns at his words and his laugh.

"I don't really like bars or loud places or anywhere with a plethora of people; however, I will make the exception for the people I care about. I don't normally go out and opt to go home after work instead," Melody isn't sure why she shared this information with him. She didn't know him, but there's something Anthony or Beau or Tito that made her feel safe. This safety was scaring her. What happens if she lets him in, and he leaves? Melody had to get out of this situation as fast as possible. "I was just going to leave."

"Let me walk you home," Anthony rushes out. He didn't want to leave Melody quite yet.

"No, it's okay," Melody responds. "I take the train and stuff, so don't worry."

"Let me walk you to your train."

Melody looks up. There was no way that Anthony would want to take the 4 train from Brooklyn to Grand Central and then walk her to Track 23. "It's a lengthy walk."

"I'm not going to force you to take me with you, but I don't want you to walk to the train or whatever alone. So, if you want someone to walk with you, then I am willing to do so," Anthony says. He isn't sure where the words come from, but he knows he can't let this girl go.

Melody nods. "Okay. I'm going to take the 4 train up to Grand Central."

"Grand Central? Why Grand Central?"

"I live in the suburbs."

"Oh, okay," Anthony says. "Let me just say goodbye to my friends. I'll meet you back here?"

Melody nods and watches Anthony walk away. He was nice on the eyes, and she could see herself falling for this man. She watches as his friends all hoot and holler when Anthony says goodbye, but their smiles turn to confusion at whatever Anthony says. Melody looks for her friends to go say goodbye. She catches the eye of Rachel and waves. Rachel waves back, and Melody signals that she's leaving. Rachel raises her eyebrows thinking Melody's getting laid. She's not. She'll clarify that in the morning.

"Ready?" Anthony asks as he walks back over to Melody

She nods, and they both head out the door. They start to walk in silence toward the Subway Station. Anthony, surprisingly, has a MetroCard and can get into the station.

"Where do you live?" Melody asks. Anthony takes a seat on the subway, but Melody opts to stand instead. She never sat on the subway seats. She's seen some stuff and refuses to ever sit on a seat again.

"I'm out in Nassau," he answers looking up.

"What's a Long Islander doing out in Brooklyn?"

"You know Long Island?"

"Roughly, I'm from New York. I grew up in the suburbs, but I was born in Manhattan."

"Ah, so I'm guessing you know the Islanders?"

"Sure, an alright hockey team.

"Alright?" Anthony asks, offended.

"I grew up as a Detroit fan because that's where my mom is from."

"Well, I play for the Islanders."

Melody narrows her eyes at Anthony trying to figure out which player he is. "Beauvillier? I've seen you on my screen before."

"That would be me," he answers with a smile.

"Interesting. So, you play hockey? Guessing by your accent, you're not from New York or the US originally?"

He shakes his head. "Canada, Quebec."

"Most people would say Quebec first, then Canada. You just made it sound like Canada was the province and Quebec was the country."

"You couldn't have possibly thought that," Anthony laughs.

"Maybe I did, maybe I didn't," Melody says with a smirk. Where was this confidence coming from? She's never been this confident before. Was it the company?

Anthony shakes his head in astonishment. "Now that you know what I do, what do you do?"

"I'm in accounting, and before you give me the whole 'accountants have no personality' thing, let me tell you, I do have a personality. Our personalities just aren't for everyone."

"I can tell you have an amazing personality," Anthony answers. He doesn't notice the fear that goes through Melody's head. He's complimented her twice. She isn't sure what to do. One compliment is easy to brush off, but two compliments indicate interest. She isn't sure if she can or wants to open up her locked cage personality to Anthony. Melody doesn't respond and opts to stare at the advertisements on the wall of the Subway. Anthony notices the discomfort in Melody’s eyes, and he wants to do nothing more than make her feel better. He isn’t sure what he did wrong, but he knows that asking will make Melody more uncomfortable. He could tell that Melody would retreat into her shell. Anthony was just starting to get to know the girl and wanted nothing more than to have Melody open up to him more.

Thankfully, the subway reaches Grand Central-42nd Street, and Anthony and Melody got off the train. The pair walked up the stairs to the main area of the subway station.

“You can take the downtown train back to where we were, and I can go up to the Main Concourse to catch my train,” Melody says. She wants to go home and hide under her blankets. She wants to hide and not let anyone into her mind. However, this time, she wants Anthony to join her. She doesn’t want to be alone by herself. She wanted to be alone with someone else, too.

“No, no, I can walk you to your train, and then walk back down here,” Anthony says.

“You sure?”

“I know this might sound weird,” Anthony begins hoping not to make the girl uncomfortable. “But I don’t want our night to end.”

Melody looks at Anthony, and she sees the unfeigned emotion in his eyes. “Okay,” she whispers. They both exit the subway station and go up into Grand Central via the escalator. Melody leads Anthony past the shops that lined the hall towards the subway, past the Newstand, and into the magnificent Main Concourse. She looked up. Despite being a local New Yorker, Melody was still amazed at the paintings at the top of the building. The scaffolding lining the area masked the true beauty of Grand Central. “This is me,” she says when they reach her track.

“Well, walk me to where you’re going to sit, and I’ll leave you there,” Anthony says. He didn’t want to leave Melody. If it weren’t creepy, he’d make sure she physically got home.

Melody hesitates. Anthony was getting close, too close than she normally would like. She likes having her privacy. She values her privacy, but there’s something about Anthony that makes her want to break every silent rule she’s ever made herself and let him in. “Okay.”

Anthony follows Melody as she walks to the third car to the front. Before stepping inside, she stops. “This is me.”

“Okay, I’ll see you then?” Anthony says. “Wait, can I get your phone number?”

She nods. “Sure.”

Anthony takes his phone out of his pocket and hands it to the girl. She types it in and hands it back to him. “Get home safe.”

“You, too, Anthony,” she says.

“I’ll text you?”

“Okay,” she says with a smile and walks into the train car. She makes sure to pick a seat in the emptiness of the car knowing he can’t see her. He wasn’t going to text her. Even if he did, nothing was going to happen. Melody wouldn’t let anything happen because it would cause problems for the privacy she so desperately needed and desired. Melody didn’t want to be alone, but Anthony wasn’t the person for her to let into that small bubble, that small circle in her life. Anthony wasn’t going to be the person that cracked his way into Melody’s heavily fortified walls and barriers. Despite how warm Anthony made Melody feel, she wouldn’t let him into her life. She wasn’t ready to show her deepest, darkest secrets to anyone. She wasn’t ready to open up to anyone and let anyone into her life. Despite these lingering thoughts, Melody knew that Anthony was special. Maybe he will be the one that changes her life.

And I found you like a melody You were singin' in the same key as me We had 'em dancin' in the streets

Growing up, Melody always was a private person. Everyone who has known her knows that Melody doesn’t open up to anyone. She gives bits and pieces of her personality to different people. She shares her different interests with different people. No one really, truly knows the extent of Melody’s mind or life. No one knows why she’s so quiet and keeps to herself. No one knows the manipulation that has led her to be the way she is.

The one person who truly knows who Melody is is her best friend from the age of four, Tracy. Tracy watched her best friend close up slowly as she got older. By the time the girls started middle school, Tracy barely recognized her best friend. Tracy doesn’t know why Melody began to pull back from the people closest to her. All Tracy knows is that each time Melody’s parents were brought up, she’d tense up. Tracy isn’t sure why, but it’s enough for Melody to want to hide and fade away.

I don't wanna be a one man band I don't wanna be a rolling stone, alone Puttin' miles on a run-down van Baby, we can take our own show on the road I'll lay down the beat, you'll carry the tune We'll get tattoos, and we'll trash hotel rooms Baby, take my hand I don't wanna be a one man band No

Much to her surprise, Anthony texted Melody the next day. He sent a message asking if she wanted to go out for drinks one night. A date, he said. Did Melody want a date? A date meant that they’d be talking and getting to know each other. That meant that Melody would have to talk to him. Would she be able to talk to him without revealing she would be unable to let him into her life as he wanted? Would she be able to hold a conversation without feeling like the world was caving in on her?

Even though her mind was going crazy, she still said yes. She still told Anthony that she’d be willing to go on a date with him. The pair decided on drinks at a bar halfway between where Anthony lived and where Melody worked. It was a bar close to Battery Park with a stunning view of the Statue of Liberty on one side and the One World Trade Center on the other. Despite being a native New Yorker, Melody still loved going into the city and seeing the beauty of the city around her. She’d never stop seeing the beauty and allure of the city.

Melody got to the bar and saw Anthony waiting outside. She greets him with a smile. “Hey.”

“Hey, Melody,” Anthony says, his blue eyes landing on her brown eyes.

“I didn’t get to change, so I came in the clothes I wore to work, sorry,” she apologizes.

“Don’t apologize,” Anthony says admiring the way her grey pantsuit accentuated her hips. “I think you look beautiful in your work clothes.”

Melody’s smile falters at the compliment. Was he going to turn it around and tell her what was wrong with her? Was he going to tell her she was making a mistake in something she wore? Melody was bracing for negative comments, but when she received none, she let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. It was barely the start of the date, and Melody was already in her head.

“Ready to go in?” Anthony asks.

“Yeah, of course.”

He extends his hand for her to take, and she glances down at it nervously. Anthony notices the look on her features and retracts his hand. “It’s okay, don’t worry.” Melody nods. She wants to run away. Every sign in her head was blaring to get out of this situation. Every alarm was going off that this wasn’t a situation that she wanted to be in. Despite all this, though, Melody still walked inside the bar. She wanted to be here despite all the alarms going off in her head.

“What do you want to drink?” Anthony asks. “I’ll buy.”

Melody’s senses heightened. She never liked people spending money on her. Letting someone spend money on her meant that Melody would have to open up. She would have to tell someone something that she really didn’t want to. The fear in her eyes conveyed the spiraling thoughts in her head. Anthony looks to his date to see her reaction. He gets nervous when he notices the fear in her eyes. “Um, it’s okay; I can buy for myself.”

Anthony looks at Melody. “But, it’s a date; you don’t want me to pay for you?”

She shakes her head. “No, it’s okay; don’t worry.”

Anthony smiles, and Melody’s senses ease. “Okay, well, what would you like? I’ll put it on my card, and you can just pay me back.”

She hesitates.

“How about we go up to the bar and buy drinks together?” Anthony suggests. He doesn’t want the first few minutes of the date to dictate how it went. He wanted this date to go well; he wasn’t sure why he was so drawn to Melody but he was. He wanted to build this life with her; Anthony needed Melody.

“Yeah, that’s a good idea,” she responds. They both walk towards the bar and Anthony rests his hand on Melody’s lower back to guide her. Normally, the touch would be unwelcoming and uncomfortable. Melody would send up a signal saying that she felt unsafe; however, the touch from Anthony was warm and comforting. She doesn’t know that she’s ever felt this comfortable with someone touching her like this. “I’m sorry,” Melody apologizes. She isn’t sure what she’s apologizing for, but she feels like she still has to say it. Anthony, it seems, too, doesn’t know what Melody is apologizing for either. The confused and befuddled look in his eyes expresses it. Melody takes one glance at his face and a small smile etches her face. There was something cute about the confused look on Anthony’s face that makes her want to wrap him into a hug and place a kiss on his cheek.

“What for?”

She shrugs. “I’m not really sure, but I feel like I’m being difficult.”

“Don’t ever apologize for being yourself and being sincere, okay? You weren’t being difficult; you were expressing how you felt and setting boundaries. That’s fine; actually, it’s important, okay? Don’t apologize, ever.”

She nods. For the first time in a long time, Melody felt comfortable in the presence of someone she barely knew, and she looked forward to where it would go.

. . .

“I had fun tonight,” Anthony says as he and Melody are standing on the platform of Melody's train. The doors had yet to open, and Anthony insisted that he wait with her.

“Yeah, me too,” she tells him genuinely. She went into the date scared for her life, but she ended up loving it. Despite the awkwardness of it being the first date, Melody wouldn’t trade it for the world. For the first time, Melody felt at ease with someone she barely knew. Melody felt comfortable for moments as she and Anthony got to know each other. “You know, Anthony, you don’t have to wait with me. I’m fully capable of waiting for train doors to open on my own.”

Anthony shakes his head with a laugh. “You can call me Beau you know.”

Melody hums and smiles. She wasn’t going to call him Beau. Melody didn’t feel comfortable with that, so she wasn’t going to go by nicknames.

“Do you have a nickname?” he asks. Melody just looks at him. No one’s ever cared enough to give her a nickname; she’s never trusted anyone enough to have them use a nickname.

“Um, no, it’s just Melody.”

“Really? Your parents never gave you a nickname?”

At the sound of her parents, Melody’s face drains of any heat, and she looks away, tense. For another time that night, Anthony feels like he’s taken another step back from where he was. He thought he was starting to figure her out, but then he goes and says something that causes her to take a step back. “No, they didn’t, but maybe you could give me a nickname?”

“Yeah? I’ll think about it.”

Melody looks into Anthony’s striking blue eyes. For the first time in a while, she feels hopeful about meeting someone new. Anthony takes Melody’s hand in his and squeezes it.

“Can we do this again?” he asks and takes a step closer.

Melody takes a deep breath. “Yeah, I’d love that.”

Anthony smiles and leans down. Was he going to kiss her? He takes one hand and places it on her cheek before leaning in for a kiss. His lips are millimeters from Melody’s lips when she pulls away. She takes her hand out of his and takes a step back. “I’m sorry,” he apologizes.

“No, don’t worry, it’s okay,” Melody says. She puts her hands in her coat pockets hoping to hide the way her hands are shaking. “Just, ask me first next time?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” Anthony says with a smile. “Can I kiss your forehead?”

She smiles, but it doesn’t meet her eyes. “Yeah, that’s fine. I’d like that.”

Anthony takes a step toward Melody and places a kiss on her forehead softly. “Goodbye, Melody.”

“Goodnight, Anthony.”

He lets out a deep chuckle. “Beau, please.”

“Sure, sure,” Melody says before stepping onto the train. “Get home safe.”

“You too,” Anthony says with a wide smile on his face. This woman was going to be the death of him.

I wanna run down your wild dreams And I wanna chase every high with you Count every rip in these old jeans We'll never learn how to sing the blues

One time, when Melody was five, she came home after winning best student of the week. It was her first time, and she worked hard that week to try to get the first star. She cleaned up her table after snack and lunchtime and made sure there weren’t any crumbs leftover. She made sure to clean up every last toy she used when she was done playing. Melody always raised her hand before talking, and she made sure to include the students who didn’t have many friends. Melody always followed directions. Long story short, she deserved the first star, and when she got off the bus to her grandmother, she was elated. She wouldn’t stop talking about winning the first star, and she couldn’t wait to tell her parents. When they got home, Melody waited for them at the door. She jumped up and down and began telling them about it. However, they snapped at her and told her to be quiet and the conversation ended. This was the first time Melody felt like she didn’t belong.

At dinner, Melody’s grandmother announced that Melody had an announcement. Melody smiled proudly and placed her fork down. Just as she was about to tell everyone her news, Melody’s mother gave her daughter a sharp glare that had Melody closing her mouth. When Melody’s smile falters and she returns back to her plate, Melody’s mother became angry. She began to yell about how she was giving Melody the time of day, but Melody wasn’t respecting it or being respectful of it.

This started the pattern of family dinners erupting into arguments. There isn’t a single family dinner that Melody can remember where an argument didn’t erupt. Melody envied the families that didn’t argue every time they talked.

When it was picture day in second grade, Melody was already beginning to grow into the woman she’s become. Melody stopped talking to her parents about things that made her happy knowing they wouldn’t find the time of day to listen to her, knowing they wouldn’t care. Melody stopped talking to people about what she was interested in fearing they’d treat her the same way her parents treat her. She was scared that people would scream and yell at her for having an opinion. Melody picked out a light green dress for picture day. She walked down the stairs ready to show her mother how beautiful she looked. She gave Melody a once-over and forced her to change.

From there, Melody lived in her head. If she had an issue about something, she would solve it on her own. She didn’t talk about herself unless she had to. Melody didn’t give any information about herself unless it was necessary. Starting from the age of seven, Melody stopped being sociable, and she closed off. She stopped talking unless she was asked to talk. Melody no longer wanted to talk about herself and valued her privacy more than anything in the world. She formed walls and barriers that were impossible to puncture through. Melody was still looking for that one person who she’d let puncture through those walls and be the one where her privacy issues and problems wouldn’t affect them.

If I'm gonna be famous

“I have a nickname for you,” Anthony says as the pair are sitting on a bench at a park near where Melody lives a month into their courtship.

“Oh yeah? What is it?” Melody asks with a raised eyebrow.

“Mel.”

“Mel? That’s new.”

Anthony looks at the girl next to her nervously. “Do you like it?”

She nods with a smile. “Yeah, I do.”

He reaches his hands towards Melody’s face but rests them back on the bench. He looks into her eyes and looks for her consent. In the past month, Anthony feels that he’s learned to read Melody’s facial features well. He can close his eyes and imagine Melody's face of discomfort was. He could imagine and perfectly picture what Melody’s smile of pure happiness was. When she nods with a smile, Anthony cups Melody’s face and leans in to kiss her. “Can I kiss you, Mel?”

“Yeah, you can kiss me,” Melody whispers, and Anthony softly puts his lips on hers. He doesn’t deepen the kiss until Melody initiates it. When she puts her hands on Anthony’s neck and pulls him in closer, Anthony deepens the kiss wanting to taste Melody in every possible way. He swipes his tongue across her lips, and he’s intoxicated with the taste of her vanilla chapstick. The tips of his fingers go into Melody’s hair, and he sighs at how soft her hair is. When she pulls away, Anthony looks into Melody’s brown eyes, and he knows he’s falling for her. Only a month in and Anthony knows that Melody is a special woman in his life.

“As far as first kisses go, that was really good,” Anthony jokes, and Melody giggles.

“You’re pretty good at kissing, Anthony.”

“Beau, you can call me Beau. If I have a nickname for you, then you should call me by my nickname.”

“Um,” Melody begins, but Anthony stops her when she sees the fear in her eyes.

“Hey, whenever you’re ready, okay? Whatever you’re comfortable with is what I’ll take, okay?” Anthony prompts. If only she knew how long Anthony would wait for her to be comfortable and happy with him. When Melody nods and looks to have relaxed, Anthony lets out a breath. “Can I still call you Mel?”

“I’d like that a lot.”

He smiles. Anthony doesn’t know who hurt her or what happened to her. All Anthony knows that he wants to make her smile and the happiest woman in the world.

Girl, I wanna be famous with you

“They’re a bit loud and rowdy, but I promise that they mean well, okay?” Anthony says. After about three months, Anthony is introducing Melody to his friends. He brought up the idea a few times, but this was the first time that Melody said yes instead of maybe.

“Don’t worry, it’ll be okay,” Melody answers and kisses Anthony’s cheek.

“I know, I know, I just want you to like them, Mel. They’re important to me, and you’re important to me, so I want all of the important people in my life to be important together.”

Melody softly giggles. “Don’t worry, Anthony. If they’re important to you, then I have no choice except to like them.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, ready?” Anthony asks and takes Melody’s hand. She intertwines her hand with his and follows him inside. Introductions were made, and Melody met many of Anthony’s close friends and their spouses.

“You’ll have to come to a game one of these days,” Sydney says when the boys leave to get more drinks.

“Yeah, maybe,” she replies. Melody wasn’t going to go to a game. She wasn’t ready for that yet.

“Hey, Mel, I got you another drink,” Anthony says as he sits back down. He places the drink on the table and places a kiss on her temple. The touch startled Melody, and she jumped. Anthony jumped back away from Melody and tried not to show the hurt that bubbling out. Anthony was confused. It felt like one moment he completely understood Melody and what made her comfortable, but then those same actions made her uncomfortable. Anthony was confused. He wanted nothing in the world to be able to make Melody feel safe, and he wanted to care for her, but he can’t figure out how not to make her uncomfortable.

Surprising him, Melody rests her hand high on his thigh and whispers a “thank you” in his ear. She rests her head on his shoulder and leans into him. Anthony was surprised and confused. This woman was driving him crazy, but he wouldn’t have it any other way.

We got our own little groove

“Hey, Mel,” Anthony says as she gets into his car. He was picking her up for a date night. Melody sets her purse on the floor of his car and turns to Anthony. “Can I kiss you hello?”

“Of course,” she says with a smile and leans into Anthony. He kisses her hungrily missing her touch as he’s been on a long road trip. They both pull away with wide smiles on their faces. Melody sits securely in her seat and puts on her seatbelt as Anthony drives through Midtown Manhattan. “So, where are you taking me?”

“It’s this restaurant on Park West with a view of Central Park,” Anthony says as he puts his hand over the console into Melody’s lap.

“It sounds beautiful, Beau,” Melody says, and Anthony whips his head towards the girl. She looks at him confused trying to figure out what she did wrong. Was this the downfall she knew was coming? Did she make a mistake trusting Anthony? “What — What did I do?”

“You called me Beau,” he responds with shock.

“I thought you wanted me to.”

“I do; I’m just shocked. Every time in the past five months I’ve asked you to call me Beau, you always shrugged it off. I never thought you’d actually call me Beau.”

Melody takes a deep breath out. “Oh.”

“Hey, Mel, don’t worry; you didn’t do anything wrong, I promise.”

She smiles nervously. “Okay, Beau.”

Anthony instantly began to feel dizzy. There was something about hearing the woman he was falling for calling him by his nickname. There was something about hearing the way she’d say Beau so smoothly like it was meant to fall from her lips. Anthony sneaks glances at Melody as she looks out the window, and he can’t help but try to hide the smile that creeps onto his face. He was falling for Melody hard; he only hoped she was beginning to feel the same way, too, because he isn’t sure what he’d do if she left him.

I don't wanna be a one man band I don't wanna be a rolling stone, alone Puttin' miles on a run-down van Baby, we can take our own show on the road I'll lay down the beat, you'll carry the tune We'll get tattoos, and we'll trash hotel rooms Baby, take my hand 'Cause I don't wanna be a one man band

Melody and Anthony have been going steady on casual dates for five months. Melody didn’t want to put any labels on it. She knew that the minute labels were brought up, she’d have to let him into her life. She’d have to open up and endure the obvious fallout of letting someone into her life that was going to leave.

Anthony was picking up Melody from her Midtown office for dinner on the Upper East Side. He texted her saying that he was downstairs. When she read the text, she smiled. Her cheeks flared, and her smile reached her eyes. She responded saying she’d be right down in just a few minutes. She turns to her computer and begins closing things up for the day. She saves her final document when she hears someone call her name from behind her. She turns around and is met with Anthony holding a bouquet of yellow lilies.

“Beau!” Melody says in surprise. She immediately wanted to hide underneath her desk until he walked away. She didn’t like that he saw her desk that held private mementos of her life. She didn’t like that Anthony could see her favorite mug holding a photo of her favorite sunset on the Bear Mountain Bridge. She didn’t like that he could see the postcards sitting along the base of her desk from Coldspring, Hudson, and Poughkeepsie. Anthony could see the notepad with the emblem from her undergrad education. She didn’t like that Anthony has all this information about her that she didn’t want him to have. She was praying that he wouldn’t ask about it.

“Hey, Mel,” Anthony says softly. He’s noticed how tense she’s gotten suddenly and wants to take her out of this situation as quickly as possible. Anthony tries to ignore the hurt he’s feeling knowing that his presence is making Melody uncomfortable. One would think that he wouldn’t make her feel uncomfortable anymore.

When Melody hears the nickname that she’s reserved only for Anthony, she loosens up. She remembers that it’s Anthony. Of all the people in the world, Melody likes the time she spends with him.

“Oh, who’s this?” one of Melody’s co-workers, Kara, asks.

“Anthony,” he says and extends his hand to shake the coworker’s hand.

“Mm, a gentleman,” she says to Melody. “You didn’t tell us you were seeing anyone.”

Crap, she’s been caught. Melody nervously glances at Anthony to see if he caught the last line. He’s giving Melody a weird look, and she knows that he caught on. “Um, we’re heading out. Ready to go, Anthony?”

He, once again, ignores the pain that Melody’s words and actions are leaving. She called him Anthony. It took him months for her to stop being so formal around him and call him by his nickname. He nods. “It was nice meeting you, Mel’s coworker.”

“Mel? Wow, she must really like you if you get to call Melody by a nickname.”

“Okay,” Melody says, trying to make the conversation as not awkward as possible. “Let’s go.”

“Oh, these flowers are for you,” Anthony says. “You can leave them on your desk if you’d like.”

Melody smiles, a genuine smile that brings a smile out of Anthony, too. “They’re beautiful, thank you.”

Anthony places the flowers on Melody’s desk and looks at the girl. She looks like she’s contemplating something deep. Her brown eyes look into Anthony’s blue eyes, and she takes a step closer to him. Much to his surprise, Melody reaches for Anthony and kisses him. She kisses his lips softly. Melody never kissed Anthony in public before. She either initiated a kiss in private, or he kissed her first. “Thank you,” she whispers.

Melody isn’t sure where this bout of confidence came from, but she’s hoping that she didn’t make a mistake. Anthony and Melody walk into the elevator hand in hand with smiles on their faces. Another one of Melody’s coworkers joins them in the elevator, and Anthony introduces himself.

“You didn’t tell us you were seeing someone so beautiful,” they answer.

“I —” Melody begins but stops herself. What was she supposed to say? Melody wasn’t telling anyone she was seeing Anthony was because she didn’t want anyone too close. She keeps her coworkers distant, and she’s even keeping Anthony distant. She glances at Anthony out of the corner of her eye, and she sees the sadness on his features. She feels terrible knowing that she put him in this situation. Thankfully, the elevator reaches the ground floor, and the awkwardness is eased slightly.

Anthony leads Melody to his car and opens the door for her. Melody gets in, and Anthony places a kiss on her forehead. He gets in on his side and begins to drive. There’s a tension in the car that Melody can’t quite figure out. Anthony is talking about the restaurant he’s bringing her to, but she’s barely listening. He reaches his hand across the center console and places it on her thigh. Melody flinches at the touch. Anthony removes his hand like he’s touched a hot stove. Anthony wants to ask what he’s suddenly done wrong, but he isn’t sure if it’s his fault.

Anthony reaches the restaurant and gives his keys to the valet. Anthony and Melody enter the restaurant in awkward silence, and Anthony gives the name of his reservation. The pair are seated and begin looking at the menu in silence. Anthony closes his menu when he’s figured out what he wants and looks at Melody. He looks at her and notices that her menu is closed, too. Anthony formulates the thoughts to confront Melody about what he’s doing wrong. However, the waiter arrives to take their order. They order, and another silence overcomes the pair.

“Hey, Mel?” Anthony ventured nervously. She looks up, and her eyes soften at the nickname. Anthony can’t help falling in love with the way she looked. The delicate lighting of the restaurant illuminating Melody’s face perfectly and reflecting off of her dark black hair.

“Yes, Beau?”

Anthony’s heart lurches in the way she softly said his name. “Why didn’t you tell your coworkers you were seeing anyone?” He watches as Melody tenses up and looks at the exit nervously. “Are you ashamed or embarrassed by me?”

Melody shakes her head no. She can’t do this; she isn’t ready. She should be able to have this adult conversation, but she wasn’t ready. How was she supposed to tell Anthony that she felt like an imposter with him because he doesn’t know the truth or the extent of her mind?

“Then what is it, Mel? I want nothing more than to take the next step with you, but it feels like you’re not ready for that. It feels like when I figure out one thing about you and I’m one step into your life, you change the game or the rules, and I’m at the same spot. Mel, I’m falling for you, but I don’t know if you feel the same way.”

Melody’s eyes shoot into Anthony’s blue eyes. He’s falling for her? Was she falling for him? She grabs her purse and pulls out her wallet. “I’m sorry, Beau; I can’t do this,” she says and leaves $40 on the table and exits the restaurant. Anthony gets up after her, and she can hear him yelling “Mel, Melody” as she’s walking away.

Melody doesn’t let the tears fall until she’s sitting on her Metro-North train headed towards the suburban town she lives in. She wasn’t ready to open up and tell him why she couldn’t be in a relationship with him. This was better, Melody kept telling herself. It was better to let Anthony go before she hurt herself more even if she was falling for him, too.

Melody goes in to work the next day with her eyes red and puffy. She knew what she did was wrong, and she knows that she should call Anthony. She wants to call Anthony so badly, but she can’t. Every time she goes to call him, something in her stops her. She stared at his contact the entire train ride down to Grand Central. She wants to call him so badly, but she can’t. Melody refuses to let herself open up to someone. Even though she wants to open up to Anthony.

When Melody walks to her desk, she sees the flowers Anthony bought for her. She forgot about them, and she started crying when she saw the yellow flowers. She wasn’t expecting them. She takes off her coat and places it and her purse on her chair before examining the flowers. She strokes the petals gently when she notices a note sitting amongst the petals. She removes it and reads it; Melody instantly breaks down when she reads it.

For a very special girl, Beau.

It was the simplest of lines, but it represented everything she wanted with him. It represented the love and comfort and kindness that she yearned for. It represented everything Melody wanted with Anthony, but she can’t have it now because she ruined it.

“Melody, you okay?” Kara asks when she walks by Melody’s office to see her crying.

Melody fiercely wipes away the tears; she never lets anyone see her cry. If people saw her cry, then people would begin asking her questions about her. Melody didn’t want to talk about herself or draw attention to herself, so she never let herself cry in front of anyone. “Yeah, I’m okay. Don’t worry about it.”

Kara doesn’t seem convinced. “Come with me, let’s go get some coffee.”

Melody doesn’t know why she followed Kara, but she did. Melody was yearning for human contact and a comforting talk. As the pair are walking, Melody suddenly grows angry. This was her parents’ fault. They never let Melody have a way to express her emotions. They never let her open up to anyone. Because of their personalities and actions, Melody closes off everyone she’s ever met and loses people she loves. Because her parents put Melody in a spot to close up and build walls, Melody lost Anthony. Because of the walls her parents forced upon Melody, she lost someone who cared for her. Melody lost Anthony. Melody lost someone she was falling in love with. Would she ever feel this way with anyone? Would Melody ever be able to open up to anyone?

Kara leads Melody into the Starbucks around the corner and directs Melody to a seat. “I’ll get something for you, okay?”

Melody nods and tries to calm down. She didn’t want to cry and draw more attention to herself. In a few minutes, Kara is sitting across from Melody with a cup of tea and a pastry. “I’m not going to force you to talk, but I’m here if you want to talk.”

Melody takes a sip of the tea. “I lost him.”

“Who, Anthony? That boy looked at you like you hung the stars; there’s no way you lost him,” Kara says with certainty. “What happened?”

“Ever since I was a little girl, my parents never really gave me a way to express my feelings or open up to anyone. I was six or seven when I realized that keeping my thoughts and feelings to myself is the best way to ensure my parents wouldn’t yell at me or get angry. I didn’t realize that at the time, but I started growing and developing walls around me. I closed everyone off and didn’t let anyone into my life. As the years went by, the walls only got thicker and bigger. I never learned how to open up to anyone because I was scared that someone would say something that would make me feel terrible. I built up these walls, and I valued my privacy so much that I hurt the people around me,” Melody admits as she wipes the tears from her eyes. “Wow, I’ve never admitted that out loud.”

“That’s why you never go out with us. That’s why you’re so quiet, and that’s why you don’t tell us anything about yourself. You don’t want us violating your privacy or hurting you,” Kara says connecting the dots. Melody nods. “That doesn’t explain what happened with Anthony.”

“He asked me why I didn’t tell anyone I was seeing him. It’s not that I didn’t tell anyone about Beau because I was embarrassed. I didn’t tell anyone because it felt like a violation of my privacy, and it made me feel unsafe having people know things about me. It’s hard for me to open up to anyone. I slowly opened up to Beau, but it wasn’t enough for him. He asked me about it, and instead of telling him about how I feel, I left. I just left because I was scared.”

Kara nods. “I’m not going to force you to tell us anything, but I think you need to figure out how you feel. Do you like him? If you like him, then talk to him. The first step to fixing what happened is talking to him and telling him about how you feel. In relationships, there should be clear boundaries and clear communication. You should tell him about why you left and how you feel. If he really cares about you, which he does, then he’ll understand, okay?”

Melody looks at Kara. “I know you’re right, but what if I just get more hurt?”

“I can’t guarantee that you won’t get hurt, but let me ask you this. Do you like being alone all the time?”

“No, I don’t,” Melody admits sadly. She liked the silence and quietness of being by herself, but she also liked the silence of her office when everyone was at work. She wanted to have silence with someone. Melody wanted to have the quiet and comfortable silence that came with loving someone.

“I know it might be scary, but the only way not to be alone is to talk to someone. You have to open yourself up in order not to be alone. I’m not saying tell all your deepest, darkest secrets on the first date. I’m saying open up when you’re ready, but the first step is being ready. You have to be ready in order to want to start letting people into your life and the walls you built.”

“Thank you,” Melody says with a smile. “I needed that.”

“Of course, there’s no need to thank me,” Kara answers with unfeigned emotion. “Do you know what you’re going to do?”

“No, I don’t. Just give me a bit of time to figure it out.”

“You need to give yourself as much time as you need. You need to be ready for yourself. If you’re not ready to open yourself up, then you’re not going to be able to find someone to open up to. You need to be ready and comfortable and feel safe before you let someone into your life and feel vulnerable.”

When the spotlight goes cold, and the curtains come down The chairs are all stacked, and there's no one around And nobody's playin', we'll still be playin'

Kara’s words resonated in Melody’s head for two weeks. She thought through everything Kara said and tried to figure out what to do. In those two weeks, Melody slowly began to talk to the people around her. When asked about her weekend, Melody would talk about what she did instead of her usual answer of nothing. Melody began to get drinks after work with her coworkers. She began to drink more than one drink. Melody was slowly learning how to open up to people. This didn’t mean she told everyone everything, but it meant that Melody was slowly taking down the walls she built. Melody still didn’t feel comfortable talking to everyone and opening up to everyone, but she felt comfortable opening up to the people that made her feel safe.

Melody kept the note with the flowers from Anthony on her desk. She read it each morning remembering what it was like to have Anthony in her life. She smiled hearing the way he’d call her “Mel.” She’d smile at the memory of her lips on his and the feel of his hand in hers.

On a particular Friday, Melody opted to drive to work. Her plan was to drive to work and then drive to Anthony’s apartment in Nassau. She wanted to go see him and talk to him. She finally felt ready. She knew that she was ready to explain. Even if he didn’t want her back or to try anything with her, she knew that the first step to healing was to talk to him. Melody knew that talking to Anthony would not only fix her broken heart, but it would also help Melody stop feeling alone all the time. It would help Melody to grow into a woman who wasn’t scared of opening up or communicating or commitment.

After work on Friday, Melody left work a bit early. She hoped that Anthony would be home and not out with his friends. Melody was a ball of nerves as she drove. She switched the music constantly hoping to find a song that would ease her nerves. When she pulled into the parking lot of Anthony’s apartment building, she was ready to bail. She wasn’t ready for this, but she remembered what Kara said. The only way to heal was to talk. She knew that Kara was right; Melody was going to talk to him.

Melody walks into the lobby of his apartment building and waves at the woman sitting behind the desk. Melody walks to the elevator and pushes up. Her breathing becomes quicker as she gets closer to seeing Anthony. Melody steps into the elevator and touches the button to go to the sixth floor. A pit forms in Melody’s stomach as the elevator begins to ascend. Her heartbeats is in her ears, and Melody hears a ringing. She tries to focus on her breathing hoping to calm down. She takes a shaky step out of the elevator onto the sixth-floor hallway. She turns right and stops in front of Anthony’s apartment. She was going to knock but knew her arms had no strength from her nerves, so Melody pushes the doorbell. She hears shuffling behind the door before it opens.

“Mel? What are you doing here?” Anthony asks in a tone both confused and surprised. Melody doesn’t sense any animosity in his voice, so she’s hoping that he’ll listen to her.

“Hey, Beau, can I talk to you?”

Anthony’s lips quirk into a small smile when he hears the nickname. He always loved it the most when it came from her voice. “Yeah, is everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine; I just want to explain and apologize for running away,” Melody responds as Anthony ushers her in.

“I should be apologizing,” he jumps in. “I pushed you for something you didn’t want.”

“No, Beau, stop. Don’t apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong; on the contrary, you did everything right.”

Anthony gives Melody a weird quirk of his eyes that makes her heart melt. Please, let him want to try again.

“I might be word vomiting for a bit, so just stay with me? I promise it’ll make sense at the end.”

“Okay.”

“I have very prominent privacy and personal space issues,” Melody begins and tries to will the tears away. “From a young age, my parents never gave me the time of day, and they didn’t care. If I said something, I’d get hollered at or yelled at. I learned from six or seven that in order not to get yelled at, I don’t show how I’m really feeling and don’t tell anyone what I’m really thinking. I began to build walls that only grew more abundant and thicker as the years passed. As I got older, I stopped letting people into my life and held them at an arm's reach away. I was scared to ever let anyone in, so I didn’t.”

“Oh, Mel,” Anthony says and pulls her in as she begins to cry. He strokes her as she cries. How could he have not seen it? How could he claim to be in love with someone but not see how much it was hurting her to open up? “I’m sorry, Mel; I didn’t know.”

“No, please don’t apologize; I’m just really good at hiding how I really feel and my emotions.”

“Yeah, but —”

“No, don’t, it’s not your fault,” Melody interrupts. “I thought I was contempt with the silence and being alone, and I was. I was happy with the silence and comfort of my own company. I was happy with being alone; that is until I met you. When I met you, I realized that I didn’t want to be alone anymore. I wanted to have the silence I loved, but I wanted to be silent with you. The problem, though, was that I didn’t know how to. I spent my entire life alone and by myself that when I finally met someone I wanted to open up to, I got scared. At first, it didn’t seem like you wanted anything super serious, and I was okay with that. I was able to have you when I felt like not being alone and be alone when I wanted.”

“Then I told you that I wanted more.”

“It’s not that I didn’t want more; I do. It’s that I didn't know how to tell you that I can’t have a normal human relationship. I didn’t know how to tell you that it’d be too much work for you to try to claw your way into my life. When you said you wanted something more, I realized I wanted something more, too, but I didn’t know how to tell you I was broken. I didn’t know how to tell you that I wanted all that but was scared of getting hurt.”

“Mel, what do you want?” Anthony asks, hopeful.

“I want you,” she answers. “You told me you were falling for me; well, this is me telling you that I fell for you. This is also me telling you that it’s hard to be with me because I need this privacy, but I promise you that I will work to let you into my life. I will work so that the privacy I crave doesn’t apply to you.”

“I don’t want you to have to change the privacy you crave, Mel.”

“No, no, that didn’t come out right, Beau. I don’t want privacy to apply to you because we can’t have a good relationship if it applies to you. I want to be able to tell you everything about me without feeling uncomfortable and unsafe. I want you to be able to hold me and kiss me without me feeling uncomfortable. I want to be silent with you. I just want to be with you.”

“You want to be with me?”

“More than anything, Beau.”

Anthony smiles wide for the first time since Melody ran out of the restaurant. He smiles down at Melody and holds her close.

“I’m not telling you it’s going to be easy. At first, there’s going to be a lot of boundaries and stuff, but I’m going to let you into my life. You have to be patient, but if you give me time, I promise that all the walls will fall down.”

Anthony looks down into Melody’s brown eyes. He sees the pain in her eyes and how hard it’s for her to be this vulnerable. Anthony suddenly gets angry. He hates that her parents and family who put her into this position where it’s hard for her to open up. He hates that Melody is scared and in pain trying to be human. He hates the pain that’s lacing her eyes as she’s being vulnerable to him. “I’m not going anywhere, okay? I’ll be right here by your side.”

Melody smiles and the pain in her eyes leaves.

“Can I kiss you?” Anthony asks, remembering when Melody asked him to always ask before kissing her.

She nods, and Anthony cups her face. He gently places his lips on hers, and she wraps her arms around her neck with her fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. He deepens the kiss not wanting to let go. He never wants to let Melody go. The pair breaks away and rest their foreheads together.

“I don’t want to be alone anymore,” Melody mumbles.

“You won’t be alone as long as you have me,” Anthony answers meaning it. Melody would never have to fear feeling alone, being alone, or feeling vulnerable with Anthony. It was Mel and Beau against the world.

I don't wanna be a one man band I don't wanna be a rolling stone, alone Puttin' miles on a run-down van Baby, we can take our own show on the road I'll lay down the beat, you'll carry the tune We'll get tattoos, and we'll trash hotel rooms Baby, take my hand 'Cause I don't wanna be a one man band I don't wanna be a one man band

Taglist: @matbarzls, @stars-canucks, @davopuck, @tysonsjosty, @maximoff-xmen, @coffee-ontherocks, @2manytabsopen, @boqvistsbabe, @only-goalies-allowed, @nhlboyshavemyhart88, @no-pucks-given, @fanficrecsby-e, @iwantahockeyhimbo, @heatherawoowoo, @islesnucks, @plds2000, @goalision, @besthockeyfics @localhockeygirl (Join my taglist here!)

#anthony beauvillier #anthony beauvillier imagine #anthony beauvillier fic #anthony beauvillier x oc #nhl fic #nhl imagine #nhl imagines #nhl writing #hockey fic #hockey imagine #hockey writing #new york islanders imagine #new york islanders x oc #new york islanders fic #claudia writes

[wyattjohnston]

welcome to a winter (& loosely holiday) themed series of fics. i have been working on these fics since august, and there have been more changes to this series than i would have liked.

these 9 fics in 1 month are my gift to you all for reading my fics and hanging around 💚

fics with an (x) link at the end have OCs with pre-existing stories. all other OCs are brand new.

all fics will be posted at 9am UTC -5 (NYC time) on the day shown and represent the final (sometimes only) date of the fic.

3 December

it’s golden - anthony beauvillier & maggie fisch (x)

4 December

never saw you coming - ryan graves & isla darkott

7 December

been a long time coming - elias pettersson & joanie bachman

13 December

your eyes look like coming home - jamie oleksiak & devon abbott

17 December

i'm all about you - brock boeser & annie horvat (x)

24 December

friday night beneath the stars - kevin hayes & sofia lakeland (x)

25 December

everything that we should be - jack hughes & daisy holston (x)

28 December

remember how it was back then - jeff skinner & melanie chester

2 January

yours for the weekend - nico hischier & stef brunner (x)

i hope this is worth the week long wait after posting this, I know it’s a long time 💚

many special thank yous to @matthewtkachuk @danglesnipecelly @farbutnevergone @lulucanwrite and @hock-ee for letting me talk about these fics and for helping me out when i needed it 💚

#'tis the (damn) season #masterlist #the missing 10th fic was a Raff fic #i thought I could write it but I was lying to myself #potentially the last fics I’m going to post #that might change because I’m still going to be around to watch you guys read the fics so I might have a change of heart #but just as a forewarning I guess

[sunshineseguin]

sunshine’s wip list

last updated: may 6, 2021

“you’re bad for me, and baby i’m bad for you” nsfw — (jamie oleksiak x oc)

when vanessa follows tyler to dallas after years of begging, a certain defenseman doesn’t make it easy for her to settle into the group that her best friend calls family. it’s seems as though jamie is hellbent on being a thorn in her side until the end of time. but what if that thorn was really a seed, and it sprouts into something that neither of them expected?

“she said that i don’t look like me no more, no more” — (nolan patrick x oc)

nolan and scarlett were the picture perfect, fairytale happy ending that children dreamt of. at least, that’s what scarlett always thought.

“i think you got all you came for. but do you want more?” nsfw — (matthew tkachuk x oc)

noah hanifin has made it clear that his best friend danielle was off limits, but matthew isn’t one to follow rules. despite all warning, dani lets herself be sucked in, and she isn’t sure she’ll ever be able to shake matt’s hold on her.

“have it any way you like” nsfw — (tyson jost x reader)

tyson doesn’t like to be the controlling boyfriend. he doesn’t want to demand y/n change outfits before a night out and he damn sure won’t tell her what she can or can’t do. after a rough losing streak and a petty argument that never seemed to end, y/n throwing herself at his teammate is the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

“do you think about me still?” — (anthony beauvillier x oc)

anthony and jenna had no intensions to ever see the other again after their nasty break up. they had cut their loses and seemingly moved on with their lives. fate had other plans and brings the the two broken souls together once again.

“so many reasons why i could never stay” — (tyler seguin x oc)

childhood best friends gwen and tyler have always had a love for each other no one could understand, not even themselves.

“if there’s nothing but pain, put it on me” — nolan patrick x oc)

nolan quite likes his little quiet apartment building on a corner in downtown philadelphia. it’s something that he can call his own and escape to when he’s feeling overwhelmed. his new neighbor eliza brings the noise, and nolan is more than willing to face it.

#nhl writing #nhl imagine #nhl fic #jamie oleksiak imagine #jamie oleksiak fic #nolan patrick imagine #nolan patrick fic #matthew tkachuk imagine #matthew tkachuk fic #vince dunn imagine #vince dunn fic #anthony beauvillier imagine #anthony beauvillier fic #tyler seguin imagine #tyler seguin fic #hockey imagine #hockey writing #hockey fic #*my wip list

[idontgiveaflyinggrayson69]

Life As We Know It | Part 20

Author: Nat / @idontgiveaflyinggrayson69​

Tagging: @thirteenisles​ @matbaerzal​ @mcmo-anon​ @texanstarslove​ @matbarzyy​ @hockeywocs​ @ggggmoneyyyy​ @tysonjost-taylorsversion​ @toplinetommy​ @fiveholegoal​ @itrocksmysocks​ @joelsfarabee​ @barzysreputation​ @iangiemae​ @stlbluesbrat​ @c-tangerine​ @canadianheaters​ @jeylia-haj​ @roopehintz​ @dreamsndior​ @beauvibaby​ @2manytabsopen​ @nazdaddy​ @sorryjustafangirl​ @fallinallincurls​ @pastelpapermoons​ @hockeybabe87​ @kayt-marie​ @heatherawoowoo​ @islesnucks​ @whoeverineedtobe​ @ohpuckyeah​ @tpwkstiles​ @mf-mightyducks​ @day-dreamerr​ @ficsilove10​ @notaccurateornice​ @rapidfever​ @hoodpankow​ @oopsiedoopsie23​ @haylie-mcc​ @jostyriggslover96​ @newlibrary​ @honestreputation​ @the-philthepill13​ @justanotherfansblog​ @simpgirl-lat​ @hockeypuckspost @great-puck-work @yzas-stuff @sidscrosbyy @teenagekook @svechnikolan @lovethepreds @strong134 @dylancozzys @gravyoverall  @lena306 @caelum-the-part-time-acosmist @taiter-tots @canesjedi31 @kq9003 [let me know if you want to be added!]

Word Count: 9k

Warnings: Alcohol. Sexual references?

Comments: I know this took a million years and I’m so sorry!!! I hope it’s worth the wait!!! I’ll now be devoting all my time to my fic exchange fic but after that’s done, Tess and Beau will be back (and I already have more than 3k written up for Part 21)!!! xx

(c) nat g. 2022 // do not repost, do not claim as your own

In hindsight, Anthony should have known this would happen.

It had been …a while since he had gotten any action and Tess was really fucking attractive and her ass was pressed right up against his hips and whether she meant to or not, he woke up to her trying to wiggle closer to him.

He didn’t realize it at first, sleep still clouding his thoughts and he tightened his grip on her waist and pulled her closer, burying his face into her mess of curls and took a deep breath. It was only when Tess tensed that Anthony opened his eyes and shook the fog of sleep from his mind that he felt it too.

He was hard against her ass.

“Oh fuck,” he said and quickly pulled back from her, a deep flush creeping up his chest as he stared at the ceiling with his hand clutching the blanket over him. “I’m sorry,” he told her.

“It’s okay,” she replied just as quickly and rolled over to lay on her back. It wasn’t the first time she felt a man hard, it had just been …a while. And it was Anthony.

“It’ll go down,” he told her after a long moment but he could still feel her body against his and her ass against him and it really was not helping his little problem.

“Yeah, of course,” she replied and kept her eyes on the ceiling. A moment passed. And then another. “Better?” She asked and looked over at him.

“No,” he sighed and tossed the blankets back. “I’m going to shower,” he said as he made his way toward his ensuite. Tess flushed all over again as her eyes dropped to the tented front of his sleep pants and she had to take a deep breath when he closed the door behind him and she heard the water turn on. She pushed the blankets back herself and got up to head to her own bathroom where she splashed some water on her face before going to check on Sorel.

And if Anthony’s shower took longer than normal and his cheeks were a little more flushed, she didn’t say anything.

“Hey,” he said and reached out to touch Tess’s hip when she wouldn’t look at him. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” she told him against as she finally met his eyes. “It’s normal. It happens. I’m not upset or anything.” She had just been surprised.

“You’re not?” He asked and Tess shook her head before she wrapped her arms around his neck and Anthony’s hands found her hips.

“Just wasn’t expecting it,” she told him before she leaned up to kiss him, surprising both of them when she pressed her chest flush to his, letting him feel her just like she felt him not an hour before. Anthony hesitated for half a moment before pulling her close. Tess let him deepen the kiss for a moment before she pulled back. “What time is your flight again?” Tess asked.

“Four,” Anthony replied. “So I gotta be out of here by two at the latest.”

Tess hummed and kissed him again, “I’m going to miss you. We both will.”

“And I’m going to miss you both,” he sighed and pulled Tess back in for another kiss. Of course, Sorel still hadn’t accepted her dad stealing her mom from her, so she called for Tess and Tess pulled back from Anthony to tend to her.

If he was being honest, Anthony could still feel her body against him and he dropped his eyes to Tess’s ass and bit his lip before quickly shaking his head and starting on making breakfast.

He was never going to get enough of her.

--

Anthony was a bit surprised when Mat sat down next to him on the plane, but he didn’t say anything. It was only once they were in the air that Mat said, “I need to tell you something.”

Anthony immediately looked up from his phone, “you didn’t knock Connor up, did you?”

“Oh fuck no,” Mat replied quickly. “I just actually care about telling my friends what’s going on in my life instead of leaving them to find out on their own.”

Anthony took a deep breath as he rolled his eyes, “it was two times.”

“Two times too many! And not like small things either. You had a baby and didn’t tell me. And then you get with the girl I have been trying to get your head out of your ass about for literal years!” Mat told him, his voice raising, earning a not so subtle glare from Clutter.

Anthony scoffed, “I was a little busy, you know, with a newborn, and it wasn’t like I was expecting you to come over that day. And Tess and I decided to keep things between us for a bit, I just jumped the gun a bit. I would have told you. But whatever, what’s going on with you? What did you want to talk about?”

It was Mat’s turn to roll his eyes but he dropped it and moved on. “Connor’s moving in with me,” he told Anthony and Anthony immediately looked over at him with wide eyes.

“Isn’t that a little fast? Has it even been six months?”

“Like you’re one to talk having Tess move in with you right after having a baby with another woman,” Mat shot back and Anthony opened and closed his mouth for a moment.

“That was different,” Anthony tried. “And I’m just worried about you. I don’t want you to get taken advantage of or end up hurt.”

“I won’t,” Mat said firmly. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, and, like, I get that it’s maybe fast in the traditional sense but,” Mat smiled as he shook his head. “She’s over all the time and I hate being away from her and she hates being away from me. Connor… Connor makes me so happy I don’t have words to describe it. She’s the most amazing woman I’ve ever met, and I know we’ve only been together a few months but, fuck, Beau, I… I just have this feeling that I’m going to marry her one day.”

Anthony was quiet for a moment before he said, “you’re really serious about her.” He’s known Mat a long time, but in all the time he had known him, he had never seen Mat like this.

“I am,” Mat told him softly.

Anthony nodded and reached over to give Mat’s thigh a pat, “she’s good for you.”

“She is,” Mat agreed with a small laugh.

Anthony nodded, “if you’re happy, then I’m happy.”

“I am. Really fucking happy,” Mat smiled.

Anthony felt the same way about Tess and, if he was being honest, he couldn’t imagine her not living with him and getting to see her basically all the time he was home so he knew exactly where Mat was coming from, even if he thought it was a little early for them to be moving in. But everyone moved at their own pace and he wanted to be supportive the way Mat was with Sorel, and Connor was actually super amazing and Anthony really liked her, liked her with Mat. And he liked that she was able to reel him in when he needed to be. “Okay, good,” Anthony nodded.

“Well, now that that is out in the open, how’s you and Tess?” Mat asked and gave his eyebrows a little wiggle.

The corner of Anthony’s lip twitched up. “We’re good, really good,” he replied. “I know it’s been like two weeks, but she’s the best thing to happen to me.”

Mat scrunched his nose up, “pfft, who would have thought?”

Anthony rolled his eyes as his smile widened and he gave Mat’s shoulder a shove, “shut up.”

“No fucking way, bro. I’ve waited for this since you met her,” Mat told him with a cackle of a laugh that had Anthony shaking his head.

“But seriously, we’re good. I mean… I won’t lie, things got a little awkward this morning when I woke up with morning wood against her ass, but besides that, yeah, we’re good.”

“She didn’t suck you off?” Mat asked without a second thought. Connor always either sucked him off or rode him if he woke up with morning wood.

“No,” Anthony answered with a tight laugh. “We’re not there yet.”

“Not there yet? Bro, it’s been two weeks.”

Anthony shrugged Mat off, “we’re taking things slow.”

Mat immediately twisted his face up. “I could never,” he said, thinking back to all the ways Connor ruined him in those first two weeks.

Anthony shrugged him off again, “we’re good, we’re happy. We’ll get there when we do.”

“Of course,” Mat nodded. “And remember to wrap it before you tap it.”

“Trust me, I’ll never forget again,” Anthony told him and took a deep breath. “I should probably get on that and buy some condoms though…”

“I’d offer you some, but Connor and I are way passed condoms. And they’d be too big for you,” Mat teased.

“Too small more like,” Anthony replied making Mat laugh.

“That’s just not true,” he said like he hadn’t seen Anthony naked several times.

“We’ll have to let the girls decide then,” Anthony hummed.

“We’ll have to,” Mat agreed.

Their flight to Columbus wasn’t long and soon enough they were landing and as soon as the wheels touched the ground, Anthony did his best to switch his focus to the next game. They may have been second in the Metro, but every point counted in the home stretch.

--

It was only a three game road trip, Columbus, Carolina, and Washington, but it still pulled at Tess and Anthony more than they thought it would.

For Tess, it meant sleeping in her room again. Alone. And cold. For Anthony, it meant being miles away from his girls, and the first time having to sleep away from Tess after knowing how perfect she fit in his arms and he struggled more than he thought he would. Sure, he had left her and Sorel dozens of times over the last year, but this was different.

So, once they had handed and got checked in, Anthony got comfortable in bed and FaceTimed Tess. It only rang twice before the call connected and Tess’s bright smile filled his screen. Anthony instantly smiled when he saw her and—

“Are we feeling red or white?”

Anthony’s brow furrowed. That sounds like—

Connor stepped into the frame with a bottle of wine in each hand and her smile widened when she saw Anthony on the call. “Oh, hey Beau. Don’t worry, I’m taking good care of your girl,” she winked.

“Hi Connor?” He asked, a little confused.

“Uh, yeah, we’re having a girls’ night,” Tess told him before look over at Connor. “Red to start. Pinot—“

“Noir, I know,” Connor nodded and walked back into the kitchen to open the bottle.

“So you’re having a good time?” He asked and Tess’s smile softened as she nodded.

“Yeah, it’ll be nice. I still miss you though.”

“I miss you, too,” he said softly. “But you deserve a girls’ night. It’s been a while.”

Tess laughed as she nodded. It really had been. “You’re going to regret saying that. She said she’s been dying to talk about you boys.”

Before Anthony could reply, Connor sat down next to Tess and leaned into the frame and handed Tess her glass of wine. “I want all the deets on my favourite couple. Both the PG and the 18+ versions,” she winked again.

Anthony had to fight off a blush as he leaned back against the headboard. “Alright, I will take that as my cue to go… I’m glad you’re having fun, babe. And if I don’t talk to you again because I know how you get with red wine… I hope you have a good night and sleep well.”

Tess rolled her eyes but ducked her head to hide her blush. “It was one time… But yeah, okay. I hope you have a good night, too. I love you.”

“I love you more,” Anthony replied without a second thought and Tess struggled to restrain her smile before she blew a kiss to the camera and of course Anthony caught it.

“Goodnight, Anthony,” she told him again before ending the call and when she looked over, Connor had a shit eating grin on her face.

“That was disgustingly cute. I love it,” she told Tess and Tess rolled her eyes before taking a big sip of her wine.

If Connor was being honest, she had never really had a girls’ night before, so she didn’t know how they typically went and it made her nervous because she wanted—needed—it to go well because she didn’t want to fuck things up with Tess. She really liked Tess and she was the mother of her boyfriend’s best friend’s baby. She needed Tess to like her. She wanted what Sydney had with Kristy and Meg with Tess.

But she was nervous.

And when Connor got nervous, she talked. A lot.

She couldn’t stop talking about Mat and his laugh and all the cute, dorky, funny, and embarrassing things he had done recently, including him getting hard in the gym parking lot because she kissed him and how they had to sit in the car until it went down. “But the thing is, and I’m sure you know this, Mathew is a horndog. Once he’s hard, he’s hard until he cums, so I had to blow him in the parking lot just so we could go workout,” Connor shook her head and Tess poured herself a second glass of wine, having finished her first throughout that story and she was glad Sorel was focused on her toys.

But, of course, Tess put the wine bottle down a little too hard making a clanking sound that drew Sorel’s attention and she used the coffee table to pull herself up and walk over to her mom, who pulled her up onto her lap.

“But I feel like I’ve been talking a lot. What about you and Beau? Have you guys…?” Connor gave Tess a suggestive look that make Tess blush harder and look down at Sorel on her lap.

“There is a child present,” Tess tried, but Connor waved her hand dismissively.

“Please, she’s one, she has no idea what we’re talking about and she won’t remember. So, what are we talking? Second base? Third? I want to know everything.”

Tess blushed harder and was quiet for a long moment. “There’s not much to tell,” she said quietly.

“Wait… You guys still haven’t done it?” Connor asked and Tess shook her head as Connor put her glass down to cup her chest. “Not even a little?” Connor added.

“I told you, we’re taking it slow.”

“I know but wow. I could never. I railed the fuck out Mathew on our first date,” she said and picked her wine back up to take a sip.

“Language!” Tess hissed and put her hands over Sorel’s ears making Connor roll her eyes.

“Relax, she doesn’t care. Look, she’s completely focused on your bracelet.” Tess looked down and Connor really wasn’t wrong. It was the bracelet Anthony had gotten her for her birthday last year and Sorel really seemed interested in the charms, making Tess sigh before dropping her hands and reaching for her wine.

“Well… There was this one time…” Tess started and Connor perked up immediately.

“Tell me immediately.”

Tess shrugged, “well, this morning I woke up and he was…hard, you know, against my…behind.”

“Ass, Tess. You can say ass,” Connor deadpanned before leaning toward her. “But how did it feel? Did you like it? Is he big?”

“Again, language,” Tess said before she kissed Sorel’s head and Sorel looked up at her with a giggle.

“Fine,” Connor sighed. “Is it her bedtime yet so I can get literally any crumb of details from you? It’s like pulling teeth.”

Sorel had been quiet for a while now and it was a bit passed her soft bedtime… “Yeah, okay, I can put her down,” Tess nodded and got up to carry Sorel to bed.

By the time she came back to the couch, Connor had a wicked smile on her lips and both their glasses of wine had been topped off. Tess was thankful and took a big sip when she sat down. She could really start to feel the wine, but it left her feeling warm and it made it easier for her to open up.

“So, spill,” Connor said.

“I don’t know what you want me to say. It felt like a dick against my ass,” she laughed and Connor laughed with her.

“And did you like it?” Connor pushed, grinning like the cheshire cat.

Tess scrunched her nose up as she closed her eyes. “I think I did,” she said after a moment.

Connor made a muffled sound of victory, “bet it’ll feel even better when he’s finally inside you. You know, I’d be happy to watch the little one if you and Beau need some alone time.”

Tess flushed a dark red and drank the entirely of her glass of wine before clearing her throat. “Uh, thanks, Con. I’ll definitely keep that in mind.”

“No problem,” Connor smiled and filled her glass again. “Are you ready to take the next step? Do you have any cute panties he can tear off you with his teeth?”

“Not that it’s any of your business, but yes, I do. And do I want to take the next step? Obviously. But I don’t want to rush into it and have things be awkward. We’ve been friends for years and what if it’s bad?”

“It’s not going to be bad,” Connor told her. “Maybe awkward, probably not great, at least not the first time. But you’re super fucking hot. He won’t be able to get enough of you and once you guys figure out what you like, it’ll be great, I promise.”

Tess was quiet. The wine made her feel fuzzy and she leaned back against the couch with a sigh. “He’s really fucking hot.”

“He is,” Connor agreed. “We have hot boyfriends.”

It made Tess laugh. “We do,” she agreed before she looked over at Connor. Her long, strong legs were tucked beneath her and her t-shirt left nothing to the imagination of how strong she was. Connor was all hard work and determination. “You’re good for him,” Tess said after a long moment. “I’ve known Barzy a long time now and I’ve never seen him like this before.”

It was Connor’s turn to get quiet and she seemed to fold in on herself, all her confident melting away. “Really?” She asked softly.

“Yeah,” Tess nodded and reached for the bottle only to find it empty. “Hold on, I’ll get another.” It only took a moment for Tess to grab another bottle and open it but by the time she came back, Connor had a distant look on her face. “You okay? Want another drink?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah sure,” Connor nodded and held her glass up so Tess could fill it but she was still uncharacteristically quiet. Tess was about to ask if something was wrong, but Connor spoke up. “Did you really mean it?” She asked softly.

Tess furrowed her brows as she sat down on the couch, “that you’re good for him? Yeah, of course.”

The corner of Connor’s lips twitched up as she looked down at her lap. “No one has ever said that about me before,” she whispered. “I’ve always been the bad influence, the annoyance, the one that needs to be fixed.”

“What?” Tess asked and Connor put her glass down on the coffee table before leaning back. The wine was more than hitting, both of feeling more comfortable than they would normally to open up.

“My whole life…I’ve just been a nuisance. My dad… he wanted an heir, my mom never wanted kids but agreed to having one. A boy. I was supposed to be a boy and I’ve been a disappointment ever since I wasn’t,” she said softly.

It was all incomprehensible to Tess who furrowed her brows as she focused on Connor. When she first met Connor, she joked about her parents expecting a boy, but she never could have guessed that it weighted on her like that. If she was sober, she probably would have known what to say, but she settled for reaching over and gripping her hand.

Connor gave her a small smile as she squeezed her hand back. “If it was up to my dad, they would have kept trying till they had a boy, but my mother… She never wanted kids so she put her foot down. God knows they could have afforded as many kids as they wanted…”

Tess couldn’t imagine growing up alone. Her family was everything to her. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

Connor shrugged her off and reached for her wine and took a big sip. “It is what it is. It’s not like I’ve spoken to them since I was 17.”

Tess may have been way more than tipsy, but she could do the math and she knew that meant that Connor had been on her own for a decade and she couldn’t imagine. Her mom always had her back and maybe she fought with her siblings, but they were still her family and she loved them. “That’s a long time,” she whispered.

“Yeah, well, it’s not like I saw much of them when I was with them,” Connor scoffed.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like—” Tess started but Connor cut her off.

“No, I know, it’s okay. I just meant… My dad’s the CEO of a tech company and my mother’s a senator in Connecticut so I never saw much of them growing up. Probably would have seen more of them if I had a penis but here we are.”

“What?” Tess said without thinking.

“A lot of money,” Connor confirmed as she nodded. “Not a lot of caring.” She took another sip of her wine to swallow back her feelings. “Not a lot of caring at all,” she repeated before she shook her head. “Sorry for going off like that, what were we talking about before?”

“Don’t apologize,” Tess replied immediately. “Thank you for sharing, I know it must be hard.” She paused, “and I mean it. You and Mat, you’re good together.”

“Even after all that?” Connor asked softly and Tess nodded.

“Doesn’t change how I see you, I promise.”

“Thank you,” Connor nodded and finished her glass before yawning, the alcohol and emotions hitting her like a truck.

“Are you tired?” Tess asked, the mom in her coming out.

“What? Me?” Connor replied but she yawned again. “Okay, maybe it’s a little passed my bedtime, but I’m okay.” She had never had a girls’ night before and she didn’t want her first one to end early because of her.

“It’s okay, we can call it a night,” Tess told her but Connor shook her head.

“I’m okay. The wine just makes me sleepy. Gin gives me a headache and tequila makes me horny,” she replied. “But enough about me. Talk about you and Beau.”

“I don’t know—” Tess started but the look Connor gave her told her not to argue so she sighed and leaned back against the couch. “I really love him,” she said softly. “I want a family with him.”

“You and Ellie?” Connor asked softly and Tess nodded.

“And any others we may be lucky with,” she whispered making Connor’s eyes light back up.

“You want more babies?” She asked.

Tess smiled as she looked down at her stomach. “I want a big family, you know, if I’m lucky enough.”

“You will,” Connor said without a second thought. “You’re such a great mom, Ellie is so lucky. And Beau will definitely want more babies with you. I hear it’s a very enjoyable process making them.” Tess blushed as she shook her head with a sigh but she still wrapped her arm around her stomach. It had to be the wine, but she couldn’t stop wondering what it would be like to carry their baby.

She did her best to push those thoughts aside as they continued to talk as they finished the second bottle of wine, and Tess was more than happy to tell Connor about some of the embarrassing things Mat had gotten up to over the years, which made Connor cackle.

By the time it was finally done, they were both more than ready for bed. Connor couldn’t stop yawning as she stretched out. “I’ll just sleep on the couch,” Connor said before fluffing up a throw pillow but Tess shook her head.

“That’s dumb. There’s two beds, you can take my room and I’ll sleep in Anthony’s like I have been,” she replied, and, well, Connor wasn’t about to turn down a bed for a couch.

“You sure?” She asked and Tess nodded.

“I’ve probably only slept in there once since washing the sheets, so it’s clean. And I really don’t want you sleeping on the couch.”

“Washing the sheets is such a pain,” Connor groaned. “Especially when you have to do it like three times a week.”

Tess’s eyes bugged, “three times a week?”

“Well, yeah,” Connor shrugged her off. “When you’re having that much sex you gotta change the sheets often.”

Tess’s lips tightened into a line before she nodded. She wouldn’t be surprised if Connor had more sex in a week than she had had in her whole life. “Okay, well, I’ll just grab my toothbrush from the bathroom and it’ll be all yours,” she said before getting up and heading to the bathroom.

She was almost to Anthony’s room when Connor spoke up. “Thank you, Tess,” she said softly. “Tonight was great.”

“Thank you for coming over,” Tess replied. “We’ll have to do it again.”

“We will,” Connor agreed with a smile and Tess nodded before heading into Anthony’s room and closed the door behind her. Despite the warm fuzziness of the wine, she made her way into the ensuite and brushed her teeth and braided her hair. It felt weird being in there, especially without Anthony, but it also felt oddly comfortable, like she could feel herself doing this in the future.

Anthony’s bed felt bigger without him. Colder. Just like Tess’s bed felt smaller and firmer than Mat’s for Connor. But they made it work.

Connor stayed over much of the next day, too, and she and Tess made grilled chicken salad for dinner before she got ready to leave, but Tess couldn’t help herself. “Do you have any plans tomorrow?” She asked.

“Not really, why?” Connor replied and Tess shrugged.

“But of our boyfriends are on a roadie so we’ll both be alone until they get back to New York, me obviously with Ellie, but… We could spend that time together? You know, if you want.”

“Yeah?” Connor asked, perking right up, and Tess nodded. “I mean… I can’t say no to that,” she smiled.

The Isles trip wasn’t all that long, but Connor still spent it all with Tess and Tess loved having her. She hated the way her, Darcy and Cass had drifted apart after she took on the mom role, but she could never turn on Sorel. For so long it had been about her friends and what they wanted to do that she put herself in the backseat. But after Sorel…

Tess had always wanted to be a mom and she prioritized Sorel and what she wanted and what made her happy and they just couldn’t understand. But Connor could.

Her and Connor… They couldn’t be more different, but they worked.

And so, Connor stayed over for the roadie and only left the morning the guys were coming home.

--

Tuesday morning, while Tess was pouring herself a glass of orange juice, Anthony wrapped his arms around her and hooked his chin on her shoulder, pulling a soft laugh from her as she leaned back against him.

“I want to take you out,” he said before she could say anything and she turned around to look at him.

“You do?” She asked and he hummed.

“Barzy and Connor said they’d watch Ellie so we don’t have to tell our families--”

“Which we really need to do,” she cut him off.

“I know,” he sighed and nuzzled at her neck. “But I love how things are now and I definitely want to take you out first. So, what do you say? Thursday?”

Her smile softened and she nodded, “sounds perfect, I can’t wait.”

Anthony’s smile widened and he kissed her. “It’s a date then,” he told her, giving her butterflies.

The Islanders played Wednesday at home against the Ducks and after Anthony went to the rink, Tess tried on every dress she had in her closet to figure out what to wear for her date. She had been dreaming of it for so long she just wanted everything to be perfect.

She tried a floral dress, a wrap dress, her sweater dress, her red dress, a floor length blush dress, and two black dresses, but no matter how many times she turned in front of her mirror, she didn’t know what to go with. So, she did the only thing she could think: she took pictures in all of them to show Connor at game. If there was one thing she could count on Connor for, it was being honest.

And, naturally, she spent too long trying everything on that she was late to the game and the first period had already started when she got there with Sorel on her hip.

“I’d assume you’re late because you were fucking but I’ve been watching your boyfriend this whole time,” Connor said as soon as Tess sat down next to her.

“I know, I know, I’m sorry,” Tess rushed out and put the diaper bag at her feet before settling Sorel on her lap. “Anthony and I are going on our first date tomorrow and I was trying to figure out what to wear.”

Connor lit up, “tell me everything.”

“There’s not much to say,” Tess laughed. “He said he had everything under control and that it’ll be perfect but I have absolutely no idea what to wear.”

“Okay, describe your sexiest dress to me,” Connor replied and Tess immediately pulled her phone out.

“Way ahead of you,” she said and pulled up the pictures on her phone before handing it over to Connor.

“You really are,” she smiled and started flipping through the pictures. “That’s cute, maybe, no, oh definitely not, maybe,” she said as she looked through the pictures. “You’re hot, Tess. You need to show— There we go,” she cut herself off when she got to the last dress.

It was black and while it had a high neck rather than the deep V Connor preferred, it fit Tess’s body well. It wasn’t overly tight but it was snug and it carved out Tess’s waist and hips and the slit on the skirt came up to mid-thigh.

“This one,” Connor told her and turned the screen to her. “Beau will lose his mind seeing you in this dress.”

Tess ducked her head, “you don’t think it’s too much for a first date? What if I over dress?”

“Then he’ll undress you,” Connor replied without missing a beat.

Like always, Tess blushed but nodded. “Okay, what about shoes?”

“Do you have heeled boots?” Connor asked and when Tess nodded, Connor nodded back. “Then those.”

“And hair? Down? Up? Or I could straighten it?”

Connor hummed as she studied Tess and reached over to bunch Tess’s hair up. “Definitely don’t straighten it. Up could be cute, but your hair is so nice. I think you should leave it down.”

“Okay, thanks,” Tess smiled. “And for the record, your hair is nice, too.”

Connor laughed. “My messy brown hair? Yeah, okay, it definitely compares to your beautiful blonde locks of yours,” Connor replied and gave one of Tess’s curls a tug.

“You haven’t seen me in humidity. Or when it’s frizzy,” Tess laughed and looked down at Sorel. Anthony may have had some curl to his hair, but her hair was straight and dark, even darker than Anthony’s. Tess carded her fingers through Sorel’s hair before she cleared her throat. “But anyway.”

Connor’s eyes dropped to Tess’s hand in Sorel’s hair before she looked back to the ice in time to see Anthony lay a hit in the corner. “Your boy is throwing his weight around,” she said.

Tess laughed. “He does that, doesn’t he? He’s conned more than a few shoulder massages out of me over the years because of it.”

“I know what you mean. Mathew may talk a lot of trash, but let me tell you, he’s a huge baby when he’s hurt. I have to rub his shoulders and back and God forbid it’s his wrist because he will whine all day about it.” And as if to prove her point, Mat went down easy after a tug on his hip and he started barking at the ref, making Connor and Tess burst out in laughter.

“He’s certainly one of a kind,” Tess replied once she stopped laughing and Connor got a faraway look in her eyes as she watched him on the ice.

“Yeah,” she sighed with a smile. “But he’s my one of a kind.”

Tess could see the genuine love in her eyes and it made her smile. “Maybe you’ll knock some sense into him,” she commented.

“Believe me, I try. Every day. His skull is just so dense,” Connor laughed.

“God, I know. What would they do without us, huh?”

“Crash and burn?” Connor suggested and looked over at Tess.

“Something like that,” Tess agreed before turning her attention back to the ice.

With the All-Star Game in the rearview window, it was the home stretch of the season and they needed every win and point they could get. Every division in the league was hard, but the Metro was especially, and they wanted to be in the best position they could for the playoffs.

And the two points they picked up from the Ducks that night certainly helped.

--

When it came time for the date the next day, Tess followed Connor’s instructions. She wore the black dress with the heeled boots and a light jacket, and she left her hair down with a darker smoky make up than she normally did.

Once she was done, she gave herself more than a once over, trying to get as many angles as she could and even she had to admit she looked good. Tess smiled to herself as she fluffed her hair up before she opened the door and stepped into the living room.

“I texted Barzy and they said they’re on their way over about five minutes ago so they should be—” Anthony started as he looked at his phone but as soon as he looked up, his words died on the tip of his tongue.

Anthony had seen Tess through a lot, since her second year of college when they were both teenagers. The first time they met at Starbucks, her hair had been tossed up in a messy bun and she was wearing an oversized NYU sweater. Since then he had seen he dressed to the 9s for graduation, for team events, trips, and he had seen her hugging the toilet bowl groaning and crying, hungover on a Sunday morning.

Tess had taken his breath away a lot over the years. The trip to Quebec, wearing his jersey, wearing his jacket, the team Christmas party, New Year’s Eve, but he completely short circuited looking at her now.

The dress clung to her body, showing off her every curve, the synch of her waist, the softness of her hips and breasts, and the smooth skin of her thigh peaked out of the slit. Anthony’s lips parted as he ran his eyes over her body and he couldn’t believe she was his.

Only his.

His reaction had Tess squaring her shoulders and she popped one of her hips with a new found confidence. “Is this okay? You know, considering I don’t know here we’re going?” She asked.

She snapped him out of his thoughts and he mumbled some French curses before he met her eyes. “More than okay,” he told her and tossed his phone onto the couch before standing up and letting his hands rest on her hips.

Tess immediately leaned into him and lopped her arms around his shoulders, “yeah?”

Anthony let his eyes wander down her body again as he nodded. “Trust me, if this wasn’t our first date, we wouldn’t be making it out of this apartment.”

Most of Tess’s blush was hidden by her make up, but Anthony could still see it, so he added, “but it is our first date so nothing will be happening, but you look really fucking good, Tessa.”

“You look really good, too, Anthony,” Tess told him and pulled back enough to fix his collar, even if it didn’t need to be fixed. He was dressed in slacks and a blue button down with the first couple buttons undone and his matching jacket was hung over the back of his couch. He looked like a five course meal to her.

“Not half as good as you, trust me,” he replied and pulled her in for a kiss before she could argue.

Tess immediately melted into the kiss and pressed herself flush against him. “So, where are you taking me?” She asked when she pulled back. Anthony opened his mouth to reply but before he could get the words out, there was a knock at the door and Anthony bit his lip to restrain his smile.

“Guess you’ll have to wait and see,” he told her before he pulled back to get the door.

To no surprise, it was Connor and Mat on the other side and Anthony stepped aside to let them in. As soon as Connor saw Tess, her smile widened. “Damn! You look amazing,” she told her and Tess laughed as she shrugged Connor off.

“Thank you,” Tess told Connor before walking over to the island to pick up the piece of paper and she immediately went into mom mode. “So you obviously have our numbers, but this has all the emergency numbers if you can’t reach us, her schedule, what she eats, what she doesn’t like, her favourite toys, how to settle her, etcetera,” Tess explained as she handed the paper over to Connor.

“Right, got it,” Connor nodded as she looked it over. As usual, Tess didn’t miss a detail. “We got this, though, okay? Go have fun, enjoy each other.”

“We will,” Anthony replied for her.

“You sure you don’t have questions for us or anything?” Tess had to ask but Connor shook her head.

“Absolutely positive,” Connor told her and not so subtle ushered her toward the door.

“Okay, okay,” Tess sighed and let Anthony hand her coat to her. He helped her put it on, but Tess still kept looking over at Connor and Mat as Anthony guided her toward the door. She loved them both in their own way, but unlike her sister, she had never seen either of them with a baby for longer than a few minutes and it made her nervous. But, with his wallet and keys, Anthony was able to get Tess out the door.

“Thanks again for this guys,” Anthony said as he went to close the door, but Mat quickly stepped forward before Anthony could close the door to give Anthony a bro shake.

“Have some fun tonight, yeah?” Mat said intentionally and Anthony gave him a levelled look in return when he felt the foil package in his hand. Still, Anthony took the package as Mat pulled back and Anthony immediately put it in his pants pocket with a sigh.

“We won’t be out late,” Anthony told him but that only made Mat and Connor’s smirks widen so Anthony rolled his eyes. “Text or call if anything happens. Now goodbye.” He didn’t wait for a response as he closed the door.

“All good? Tess asked and Anthony nodded before he smiled and held his hand out to her.

“All good, let’s go, mon amour,” he told her as she took his hand and they headed down to the garage.

Anthony ended up taking her to a quaint French restaurant on the Island and while Tess wasn’t sure where they were going, she wasn’t surprised in the slightest and there was nowhere she’d rather be for their first date. “Reservation for Beauvillier,” Anthony told the hostess who gave him a smile as she nodded.

“Of course, right this way,” she replied and picked up two menus before leading them to a table.

Anthony helped Tess take her jacket off and hung it on the nearby coat rack before he tucked her into the table. “This is a lot nicer than I was expecting,” she told him with a smile as he sat down across from her.

“You deserve the best,” he told her and opened the menu. “Get anything you want, okay? I was actually thinking we’d start with an appetizer and maybe some pinot noir? Though… Maybe sauvignon blanc will better pair with dinner.”

Tess had a soft look on her face as she looked at him. She was so in love with him and she still couldn’t believe this was really happening. That she was this lucky. “That sounds great,” she replied and Anthony returned her smile and watched as she looked back at the menu.

And, well, if she asked him what a couple menu items were just to hear him speak French, sue her. Her boyfriend was French and he sounded damn good when he spoke in his mother tongue.

At Tess’s request, Anthony ordered for both of them. They had shrimp for an appetizer, Tess had the seared snapper with red wine peppercorn sauce while Anthony had the filet mignon with port wine sauce and they paired it with sauvignon blanc, a better match for the fish, along with a glass of water.

It didn’t take them long to get their drinks and then they were left alone for the first real time since becoming a couple.

“So…” Anthony started.

“We’re on a date,” Tess replied with a small laugh.

“We are,” he laughed with her before he raised his glass to clink hers. “To our first date.”

“To us,” Tess smiled before taking a sip of the wine.

They hadn’t really been alone, just the two of them, in the past year. They always had Sorel or they were out with the team or family. They were so used to having someone else around that they didn’t know how to be alone.

Anthony hated how awkward it was. Tess was the most amazing woman in the world to him and he just wanted everything to be perfect, he expected everything to be perfect, and it wasn’t. And he didn’t know how to handle that. He thought they’d smile and laugh over dinner and split a desert and go home and cuddle on the couch, maybe steal a few kisses.

But Anthony was tense. They both were.

As much as it was a first time, it also wasn’t. They knew everything about each other, they had been friends for years, so that didn’t leave much to talk about. So they were both thankful when their meals arrived, giving them something to do and talk about.

“Oh my god, this is amazing,” Tess said after her first bite and it made Anthony’s chest a little less tight.

“Yeah? I’m glad,” he smiled.

“You should try some,” Tess told him and Anthony opened his mouth to say it was okay, but he closed it to smile and nod and he stole a bite and Tess was right, it was amazing.

“Want a bite of mine?” He asked and let Tess steal a piece.

“Wow,” Tess nodded. “This place is amazing.”

“Not as amazing as you,” Anthony replied cheekily, but it made Tess smile.

They both seemed to relax with dinner and the conversation flowed easier with the glasses of wine and every time Tess smiled, Anthony fell in love with her a little more.

“Do you want desert?” Anthony asked as they finished up dinner.

As great as dinner and the restaurant was, it just wasn’t them. Tess fell in love with Anthony, not what his money could buy. Sure, the fancy restaurant was nice, really nice, but she felt out of place. She wanted to spend time with Anthony, her Anthony, but that was hard to do when they were both playing at part at a restaurant.

“I think I’d rather have desert at home, you know, just the two of us, she told him and he gave her a soft smile as he nodded.

“I like the sound of that.”

So once they boxed up their left overs and he paid the bill, he helped her put her coat on and they made their way out to the car, Anthony’s hand on Tess’s lower back as he guided her. Once they made it to the car, Anthony opened the door for her and it only made her heart flutter a little. And, of course, while the drive back to the apartment wasn’t long, Anthony kept his hand on her thigh the whole time.

The elevator ride up to the apartment was quiet but Tess rested her head on his shoulder and he traced soft circles on her hip until they reached their floor and they walked handed in hand to the door. As soon as the door opened, Connor was on her feet and Mat held her wrist from his spot on the couch. “You’re back earlier than anticipated…” Connor said, looking at her watch. “Everything okay?”

Anthony helped Tess take her coat off. “It was good,” he told Connor and hung their coats up before they took their shoes off.

“He took me to a really nice French restaurant and he ordered for us so I could hear his French,” Tess smiled and Mat not so subtly let his other hand rest on the back of the couch to fist bump Anthony as he walked to the kitchen. “We’d thought we’d come home for desert, though,” Tess continued and Mat tightened his grip on Connor’s wrist.

“Then we’d hate to get in your way, so we’ll get going. Ellie was great. She pulled my hair and threw her blocks at me and wouldn’t stop crying but she was great,” Mat said as he stood up and guided Connor toward the door. Tess furrowed her brows as she watched them put their shoes on and Mat was about to open the door when he turned back to Anthony. “And as lovely as Ellie is, please use the condom I gave you and wrap it before you tap it, okay?” He said and Connor smacked him on the back of his head before getting him out the door.

“He’s right, though. And we’ll talk soon,” Connor smiled before following Mat out and closing the door behind her and Tess looked over at Anthony with flushed cheeks.

Anthony was quiet for a long moment before he got done two glasses and pour them some wine. “They’re not wrong,” he said eventually and walked over to the couch with the glasses. “But just ignore them. Nothing will happen that you don’t want to happen,” he told her and once he was settled on the couch, he rolled his sleeves up.

It had to be the two glasses of wine talking but Tess let her eyes wander up Anthony’s arms and for a moment she thought back to how he felt against her and wondered what he would really feel like and her blush darkened before she made her way over the couch and took a big sip of her wine. “I know,” she told him and leaned into him. “I’m not thinking about them anyway. I’m thinking about you.”

Anthony wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer, momentarily pressing his nose into her hair before he reached for his wine. “What about me?” He asked.

Tess took another big drink of her wine before she replied, “just you.”

He let his hand trail down to her side, “but what about me?”

Tess’s nose scrunched up in the cutest way. Before she would have played him off but they were together now and the wine was definitely hitting. “How hot you are,” she told him softly.

“You think I’m hot?” He replied like it was somehow a surprise.

Tess put her wine down on the coffee table to kiss him. “Of course I do,” she said and bit her lip as she ran her hand up his arm. “I mean… You can tell you’re a pro-athlete.”

Anthony’s cheeks and ears heated up and he pulled her closer. “You’re really hot, too. This dress… Your hair… You drive me so fucking crazy,” he told her softly before she caught his lips in a kiss and when she pulled back, Anthony chased her lips for another, softer, kiss.

“I love you,” Tess told him and he smiled.

“I’m so in love with you,” he whispered. “I’m so lucky to have you, Tessa.”

His words pulled at her and gave her butterflies and she had to kiss him again and he was gentle as he ran his hands down her back. For the first time, Tess thought about taking things further, but she knew in the back of her mind that it was the wine talking, so she pulled back and tucked herself into his side and once they finished the bottle of pinot noir, Anthony opened a bottle of merlot.

The date and the restaurant were nice but there was just something about being cuddled up with him, talking and laughing and his hand trailed up the slit of her dress to rest high on her thigh but she didn’t care. She liked it. She liked his touch and how it made her feel.

Anthony wasn’t surprised when Tess fell asleep on him. Wine always made her sleepy, but a bottle of red seemed to do her in. He took a moment to look at her, her make up was smeared and her hair was frizzy but she was the most beautiful woman in the world to him and he didn’t know what he had done to deserve her.

He was careful as he pulled back and scooped her up in his arms just like he had done countless times before. Tess woke, but just for a moment as he carried her to bed and set her down gently. Her hair laid on the pillow like a golden halo and for a moment he thought about taking her dress off she she’d be more comfortable, but he didn’t want to cross any boundaries so he pulled the covered up over her before kissing her temple and getting ready for bed himself.

He brushed his teeth before stripping down to his underwear and slipped into bed. Tess stirred a little as he made himself comfortable but she didn’t wake as he pulled her closer.

--

If his legs were a little slower at practice the next morning, well, Mat could think what he wanted because he knew he had his girls waiting for him at home.

When Anthony got back from practice, Tess was wiping down the kitchen counters while Sorel played in the living room. Even if she had just seen him a few hours ago, Tess still dropped what she was doing to go greet him, looping her arms around his neck as she smiled. “I missed you,” Tess said and Anthony gently rubbed her back.

“I missed you, too,” he replied. “Barzy was following me around looking like the chesire cat all practice it was throwing me off all morning.”

“Oh, baby,” Tess said softly and Anthony scrunched his nose up before he kissed her softly. Tess completely melted into the kiss making Anthony sigh contently and when she pulled back from the kiss, he chased her lips.

“Better,” he whispered when he finally pulled back. Tess blushed softly but pulled him in for another, deeper kiss before walking back to the kitchen so he could say hello to Sorel, but Anthony couldn’t help but bite his lip as his eyes drop to her ass.

Finally, he was able to pull his eyes from Tess and toes his shoes off before going to say hello to Sorel. She smiled at him and lifted her arms so he could pick her up, which of course he did. “Hey babygirl, how are you?” He asked and Sorel laughed softly. He was expecting a ‘good’ or ‘dada’ maybe ‘papa’ or ‘hi,’ but instead Sorel said,

“Ass.”

Anthony did a double take and Tess whipped her head up. “Excuse me?” Anthony asked his daughter but Sorel only laughed harder.

“Ass! Ass!”

Anthony’s eyes widened as he looked over at Tess who flared her nostrils. “Fucking Connor…” she grumbled, making Anthony burst out in laughter.

#anthony beauvillier #anthony beauvillier imagine #anthony beauvillier story #anthony beauvillier x oc #tito beauvillier #tito beauvillier x oc #tito beauvillier imagine #tito beauvillier story #islanders imagine #new york islanders #ny islanders #isles #hockey rpf #hockey imagine #hockey story #nhl imagine #nhl #hockey #mine #baby bear story

[toasttt11]

ok ok

December 4, 2022

Maleah walked down the hallway of her penthouse, and paused by the linen cabinet hearing muffled giggled coming from the cabinet.

Maleah smiled, “I wonder where Kai could be.” She heard his giggles get louder and she quickly opened the cabinet and started tickling her son making him shout with laughter.

“There he is!” Maleah laughed slowly stopping the tickles and booped his nose before she picked him up taking him out of the cabinet.

Malakai snuggled against his mother’s chest completely relaxed in her arms, “Dinner?” He questioned softly.

“Hmm, only if i have my very special sous chef.” Maleah nodded very seriously making her son look up at her with a smile, “What! i need my sous chef to cook dinner!” She lightly tickled his neck making him squeal.

“Ok! Ok! You can have your sous chef.” Malakai agreed holding his hand out for his mother to shake.

Maleah shook his little hand with a fond smile, “Perfect!” She spun them around making Malakai laugh as she walked them into the kitchen.

She set him onto his stool, the stool that is safe for kids so they can be leveled with kitchen counters, “Alright what are we making?”

“Grilled Cheese!” Malakai cheered, he would pick grilled cheese for every meal if he could.

“And Tomato Soup.” Maleah finished for him, not minding Malakai wanting grilled cheese but still likes to try to get some type of vegetable or fruit in the meal as well.

Maleah smiled as they started cooking and still can’t even comprehend that Malakai had made her enjoy cooking, especially since she could remember she hated being in the kitchen and cooking.

#maleahbarzalau #nhl x reader #jack hughes #luke hughes #quinn hughes #nico hischier x oc #nico hischier #nh13 #nhl x oc #mat barzal x oc #anthony beauvillier #john marino x oc #john marino #luke hughes x oc #jack hughes x oc #jesper bratt #dawson mercer #new jersey devils #nj devils #alex holtz #ny islanders

[thirteenisles]

thirteenisles masterlist:

-links to be updated and new fics coming soon

fics:

can’t say we’re friends masterlist (the original)- anthony beauvillier x oc friends to lovers in which a drunken mistake will make or break them

cant say we’re friends remastered edition- coming soon

the four times mat distracted you and the one time you distracted him- coming soon

the Beau-chelor- anthony beauvillier x oc in which anthony is the bachelor and on his season he falls for a woman who isn’t part of the lineup (part one)

second chances- mat barzal x oc in which an ex famous pop star rebuilds her life with an up and coming hockey superstar (part one)

one shots:

filth- matthew tkachuk x reader pure smut with a sprinkle of fluff

stuck by cupid - mat barzal x reader fluffy fic kinda enemies to lovers if you squint

on your knees- anthony beauvillier x reader it’s smutty

royal decree twenty three- travis dermott x oc

-

(Links to be added)

anthony beauvillier blurbs

mat barzal blurbs

misc players blurbs

WIP List

#masterlist #ko writes #mat barzal #mathew barzal #anthony beauvillier #tito beauvillier

[idontgiveaflyinggrayson69]

Life As We Know It | Part 19

Author: Nat / @idontgiveaflyinggrayson69​

Tagging: @thirteenisles​ @matbaerzal​ @mcmo-anon​ @texanstarslove​ @matbarzyy​ @hockeywocs​ @ggggmoneyyyy​ @tysonjost-taylorsversion​ @toplinetommy​ @fiveholegoal​ @itrocksmysocks​ @joelsfarabee​ @barzysreputation​ @iangiemae​ @stlbluesbrat​ @c-tangerine​ @canadianheaters​ @jeylia-haj​ @roopehintz​ @dreamsndior​ @beauvibaby​ @2manytabsopen​ @nazdaddy​ @sorryjustafangirl​ @fallinallincurls​ @pastelpapermoons​ @hockeybabe87​ @kayt-marie​ @heatherawoowoo​ @islesnucks​ @whoeverineedtobe​ @ohpuckyeah​ @tpwkstiles​ @mf-mightyducks​ @day-dreamerr​ @ficsilove10​ @notaccurateornice​ @rapidfever​ @hoodpankow​ @oopsiedoopsie23​ @haylie-mcc​ @jostyriggslover96​ @newlibrary​ @honestreputation​ @the-philthepill13​ @justanotherfansblog​ @simpgirl-lat​ @great-puck-work @yzas-stuff @sidscrosbyy @teenagekook @svechnikolan @lovethepreds @strong134 @dylancozzys @gravyoverall  @lena306 @caelum-the-part-time-acosmist @taiter-tots @canesjedi31 @kq9003 [let me know if you want to be added!]

Word Count: 9.5k

Warnings: None.

Comments: I’m so sorry this took longer than I wanted to get up! I’ve been so busy with school and work but I really hope you like this one!!! I can’t wait to explore more of Tess and Beau as a couple!!! xx

(c) nat g. 2022 // do not repost, do not claim as your own

Anthony was the first to wake the next morning. For a split second he thought he had dreamt the night before, that when he opened his eyes his bed would be empty. The blackout curtains hadn’t been closed perfectly the night before so some sunlight snuck through, lighting his room in a soft glow and when he opened his eyes, he found Tess asleep next to him.

Her hair was thrown around her and slightly frizzy and her lips were slightly chapped from him kissing her chapstick off the night before, but she looked absolutely perfect to him.

He didn’t know how long he laid there looking her, watching the rise and fall of her chest and just taking in her every feature, but he couldn’t imagine a better way to spend the morning. Tess truly was the most beautiful woman in the world to him and he was still trying to wrap his head around the fact that she loved him back.

She loved him back.

Anthony brought his fingers to his lips where he could still feel her lips and it made him smile. He wanted to kiss her again, to talk and make things official, pull her to his chest and just soak in the feeling of her, but she was asleep. Out cold, really. And she deserved to sleep in. He’s wanted this for months, surely he could wait a little while longer. So, Anthony was careful as he peeled the blankets back and slipped out of bed. In the kitchen, he started brewing coffee before he went to check on Sorel. He was a little surprised she was still asleep when she was usually such an early riser, but he knew wake up times were supposed to stay as consistent as possible, so he gently woke her up, changed her, and brought her into the kitchen where he could make them all breakfast.

For Tess, it was easily the best sleep she had had in a long time. She crashed and slept right through the night with no tossing and turning like she had been. She woke up well rested, even if the lack of Anthony’s warm body against her was what pulled her from her slumber.

She kept her eyes closed at first as she moved back in search of him, but when she didn’t find him, she peaked her eyes open and rolled over to find the bed empty. Her heart dropped for a moment, wanting to spend the morning snuggling, but the more she woke up, the more she heard him in the kitchen with Ellie and it made her smile knowing he let her sleep in on his day off.

Slowly, Tess pulled herself from his bed and headed into the kitchen. Anthony smiled as he saw her and he put a cover over the bacon as he stepped toward her but Tess held her finger up. “Gotta pee first,” she told him before quickly slipping into the hall bathroom. While she was in the bathroom, she also brushed her teeth, fluffed her hair, and put deodorant on. “Sorry,” she said as she came out. “Just really had to pee.”

“You can use my ensuite, you know,” Anthony told her as he put the bacon onto a plate before cracking a few eggs into the pan.

Tess took her cup of coffee before sitting down next to Sorel. “That’s your bathroom,” she shrugged. If there was one thing she valued from having siblings, it was privacy and it was his apartment, so she would never invade his privacy like that.

“It’s just a bathroom, Tessa,” he told her. “If you’re in my room, just use the ensuite.”

In the whole year of living in his apartment, Tess had probably been in his ensuite only once or twice, so it felt really weird, but she took a sip of her coffee before nodding, “okay. Thanks.”

“Of course,” he smiled and tossed a couple pieces of bread into the toaster before finishing the eggs and plating everything. “Breakfast is served,” he said with a smile as he put plates down in front of Tess and Ellie before bringing his own over to the island.

“Thank you,” Tess smiled and if she hadn’t woken up in his bed, she would have wondered if the night before had really happened, or if she was dreaming.

“This was really good,” Tess told him toward her last bites.

“Thank you,” he laughed. “A basic breakfast is one of the few things I’d like to think I’ve mastered.”

His words made Tess laugh with him, “it was really good though.”

“Thank you,” he smiled and restrained his urge to kiss her. Sure they had kissed the night before and said those three little words, but that was then and he didn’t want to overstep.

Sorel took longer with her breakfast and Tess had to help her with the little bits of egg left, but once she was done, they started to clean up, and it was only once the breakfast dishes were in the dishwasher and Sorel was set down on her playmat that Anthony turned to Tess. “We should talk?” He didn’t mean for it to come out like a question, but it did.

“We should,” Tess agreed and took a deep breath. The playmat was well in view from the island so they both sat down there. Despite spending the night in each other’s arms, it was awkward and neither of them knew where to start. “So…” Tess whispered, hoping Anthony would take the lead like he did the night before.

“So, we kissed,” he said softly.

“We did,” Tess replied with a small smile and she surprised both of them when she leaned in to kiss him again. It was soft and quick, but Anthony melted into it.

“And I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you, too,” she smiled.

“So… We’re together then? Like a couple?” He asked with a hopeful smile.

Tess wished it was that simple because she wanted that more than anything, she had wanted it for years, but it was about more than them now. “I want nothing more,” she told him as she looked over at Sorel. “But we need to talk about what that means.”

Anthony followed her gaze and his smile softened as he watched Sorel play with her alphabet blocks, which had become her new favourite toy. He knew exactly what Tess meant and he nodded before looking back at her, “every word I said last night, I meant.”

Tess’s smile softened and she reached out to take his hand. “Anthony…” she started and the corner of her lip twitched up. “I’ve kinda been in love with you for years.” Her words made his stomach twist. Mat had told him the same thing but he never thought he was telling the truth. “I’ve loved you for years and I never thought you could love me back,” Tess continued, saying the words she tried to the night before.

“I—” He started and looked down at their hands before meeting her eyes again. “I’m not going to lie to you, Tessa. I didn’t—I didn’t realize I was in love with you until a few months ago; I still don’t even really know how long I’ve loved you because you feel like home to me, you always have. But I know now that I’m helplessly in love with you and I want to be with you. You’ve been—” He shook his head as he glanced over at Sorel before back to Tess. “You have been the best mom either of us could ever ask for and I don’t ever want to risk that, but I want you. I need you. We both do.”

“I want that, too,” Tess told him and squeezed his hand, doing her best to ignore how her heart twisted. She was right, she had loved him longer than he loved her, but she pushed past it. He loved her now and that was all that mattered. “But...”

“But?” Anthony whispered, his heart sinking.

“But what about Ellie?” She asked and looked over at her. “We’ve been raising her together. I don’t want us to not work and it cost her,” cost her me. Tess didn’t have to say it for Anthony to know.

Anthony squeezed her hand. “Hey,” he said softly. “I know we aren’t together yet, but I’m serious when I say I haven’t felt this way about anyone. But regardless of what happens between us, Ellie… I want you there for Ellie.” He meant every word. “I know Nikki is her mother biologically, but you’re her mom and I never want to interfere with that.”

His words pulled at her heart and she looked down at their hands as she took a breath and willed her throat to not be so tight. “So, if we don’t work out, we’ll still be friends?” She asked. She couldn’t handle losing Ellie or Anthony. Before Ellie, Tess’s biggest fear when it came to getting together with Anthony was that if it didn’t work out, she’d lose him and that was something she couldn’t handle.

“Of course,” he whispered and squeezes her hand again. “I love you, and I mean that in every sense of the word. I want us to be together, but if, for whatever reason, that doesn’t work out, I want us to still be best friends because I love you and I don’t want to imagine my life without you.”

“I don’t want to imagine my life without you either,” Tess whispered with a small smile.

Her words made him smile softly and he nodded. “So, I love you and you love me and we promise to be friends regardless, so…?”

Tess took a deep breath and let her smile widen a little more. “So, we’re doing this?” She asked with a hopeful smile.

“We’re doing this,” Anthony smiled back. “You’re my girlfriend.”

Tess blushed at his words and ducked her head, “and you’re my boyfriend.” Anthony gave her a bright smile and pulled her in for a kiss. Tess blushed but she melted into the kiss. “I have a few …stipulations, though,” she said when she broke the kiss.

“Stipulations?” Anthony asked and Tess’s blush darkened.

“I just… I want to take things slow,” she told him.

“Take it—Oh,” it was his turn to blush and he nodded.

“I don’t want to rush into anything and I just want us to feel things out.”

Anthony nodded, “I don’t want to rush anything either.”

Tess smiled and let out a relieved breath as she leaned into him. Anthony wrapped his arm around her and pulled as close at their two chairs would allow before Tess found her voice again. “I mean, like, physically,” she whispered, her skin burning. “I want us to be comfortable and not rush anything, regardless of how long that takes.”

“I know,” he whispered with a small laugh. “I want you, Tessa, not sex. So however long any of it takes, it’s okay.” Tess nodded but still pressed her face into his chest at his mention of sex, her heart racing at the thought of it. Anthony laughed a little harder as he held her and a moment later he added, “I also think we should keep us between us for a bit. You know, until we figure it out because I know for a fact Barzy and Connor will never leave us alone.”

“I completely agree,” Tess nodded and pulled back to look at him. “Connor has been pestering me for weeks.”

“Barzy has been pestering me for years,” he confessed. “Though he’s gotten completely out of control since I told him I’m in love with you. And then he told Connor and they really have no chill.”

“I know,” Tess sighed. “I think keeping us between us while we figure it out and get through any awkward phase is a great idea.”

“Okay,” Anthony nodded with a smile.

Tess opened and closed her mouth before she paused. “I also,” she started. “I mean, I’m sure it’ll change with time, but even after we tell our families and the guys, I don’t think I want to be like public public.”

The corner of Anthony’s lip twitched down as he furrowed his brow, “public public?”

“Like on your Instagram,” she explained. “I know how the fans reacted to Connor and what some of them had to say about me after that Halloween picture leaked and I—” she shook her head.

“I understand,” he nodded and squeezed her hand. “I won’t post anything unless you give me the okay to, I promise.” Of course he wanted to post about her and share his love for her, but he knew exactly where she was coming from and he more than respected her wanting to keep things publicly quiet.

It felt like a weight was lifted from Tess’s shoulders and she let out a deep breath. “Okay,” she nodded.

“Anything else?” He asked.

“Don’t try running your fingers through my hair or playing with it,” she told him without missing a beat making him laugh. “I’m serious! It’ll get frizzy so please don’t!”

“Okay,” he nodded and held his free hand up. “Note to self, don’t play with my girlfriend’s incredibly cute and sexy hair.”

“Stop,” she gave him a playful shove as she blushed. “I’ll turn into Monica in Barbados.”

Anthony tilted his head back as he laughed hard at the image. “Okay, okay, I’ll try my best to remember that.”

“Thank you,” she shook her head at him.

“Anything else?” He asked and Tess thought about it for a moment before shaking her head.

“I’m sure I’ll think of something later, but no, nothing else pressing,” she replied with a smile. “Do you have anything?”

“Of course you’ll think of something,” he smiled and leaned in to press a quick peck to her lips. “That’s one of the many things I love about you. But no, I don’t think I have anything else. Take it slow, keep us between us, no posting pictures of my hot girlfriend, and no playing with her sexy hair.”

Tess shook her head but she couldn’t restrain her smile, “we can figure everything else out later.”

“Sounds like a plan,” he agreed. There was always a feeling it out part to every relationship and he knew this one would be no different, but he also knew that they’d figure it out because it was them.

Tess looked at him for a long moment, studying his features before she whispered,

“Je t’aime, Anthony. And I’m in this for the long haul.”

Anthony’s smile widened. “Je t’aime, aussi,” he replied in his strong French accent that gave Tess shivers. “And I’m in this for the long haul, too.” He leaned in to kiss her cheek before capturing her lips in another kiss. He was never going to get tired of kissing her.

The rest of the day was quiet, neither one of them wanting to pop the perfect bubble they found themselves in and risk waking up to find it was all a dream. But it wasn’t. It was real.

By the time dinner rolled around, they could have ordered in. Pizza and Chinese were two favourites they could have had, but Anthony wanted their first dinner together as a couple to be at least a little special. If they were just them, he would have taken her out to somewhere nice, an upscale Italian place maybe. He knew he could probably get Emma to watch Sorel, but that would mean telling her they were together and they weren’t ready to anyone, not yet.

So, he settled for chicken breasts, asparagus, and buns warmed in the oven with some butter. Of course, he insisted on cooking everything himself and he wouldn’t let her help.

“Can I at least kiss the chef?” She asked with a light blush. She wasn’t used to being this bold, but she really couldn’t get enough of him.

Anthony stopped pulling all the ingredients out as he smiled. “That, I’ll never say no to,” he replied and kissed her softly. Her lips were soft and tasted vaguely like strawberries, the chapstick he had seen her use the last few weeks. “Now go sit down and let me cook my beautiful girlfriend a nice dinner, okay?”

Tess scrunched her nose up before she nodded, “fine, fine, but if you need anything, I’m right here.”

“I know, babe,” he told her with a smile before shooing her out of the kitchen and Tess shook her head as she walked back to the living room to play with Sorel and her blocks.

She kept an eye on Anthony and it took everything in her to not ask to help again. He wanted to do this for her and as much as hockey players were only good at hockey, she let him have it. And… It wasn’t awful. Actually, it was really good. But maybe she was so happy and in love with him that anything would have tasted amazing.

“This is really good,” she told him with a smile.

“Don’t sound so surprised,” he laughed. “I’m actually a pretty decent cook.” His words made her laugh before her smile softened.

“You’re pretty decent at a lot of things, Anthony,” she told him.

“Is that what I am now?” He asked. “Anthony?”

Tess titled her head as she looked over at him, “that’s your name last time I checked.”

“No, I know, but for as long as I can remember I’ve been Beau to you, maybe Tito, especially when you’re drinking, but never really Anthony,” he replied.

Tess was quiet for a moment as she thought about it. “Would you prefer Beau or Tito?” She asked and he shook his head.

“No, I like it. It’s just… Different.”

Tess smiled as she reached out to cover his hand, “different can be good.”

“It is good,” he confirmed. “And I know this is far from the perfect first date, but I hope one day soon I can take you out for a proper first date.”

Tess squeezed his hand before she looked over to check on Sorel and her bites of shredded chicken and looked back at him. “There’s nowhere I’d rather be,” she told him honestly.

Anthony smiled as he nodded before he turned back to his dinner. “So, if I’m Anthony now, should I call you Tessa?” He asked softly, but Tess scrunched her nose up.

“That sounds so formal.”

“Sounds beautiful just like you,” he replied. “But I’m okay with Anthony and Tess with the occasional Beau and Tessa, if you are.”

Tess immediately smiled, “deal.” Anthony returned her smile as he nodded, and they kept smiling throughout dinner. Once they and Sorel were done, Tess did the dishes, even if Anthony protested.

Tess wanted nothing more than to stay wrapped up in the perfect bubble of them, but she had to hit pause to bath Sorel after dinner. But after Sorel was squeaky clean and ready for bed, Tess was free to be with Anthony.

“Is this real?” She asked as she curled up on his chest on the couch.

“Very,” he laughed softly as he wrapped his arm around her and Tess smiled as she snuggled closer. She didn’t know what the future held for either of them or how this was going to turn out, but neither did he. All that mattered was they were together. They could figure out the rest.

Anthony was glad that they got together over bye-week so they could have those first few days to themselves.

It was so nice to get to wake up in the same bed, spend the day together as a couple, exchange those kisses, and go to bed together. It was what they had both dreamed of for so long and now they finally got had it.

And it was crazy how while everything changed, nothing really changed at all. Sure, they were together and they kissed and snuggled and slept in the same bed wrapped in each other’s arms, but everything else was the same. They were still best friends who joked with each other and raised Ellie together. Neither of them could have predicted it would be so easy to transition from friends to more, but they couldn’t be happier. They were together and that was what they were meant to be.

--

Anthony had always been good at taking quick showers, the years of hockey made sure he mastered the most efficient shower. But, since getting with Tess, his showers got a little longer as he took his time, wanting to look and smell his best for her.

When Anthony stepped out of the shower, he grabbed his towel and dried his hair before wiping down his chest and wrapping the towel around his waist. The mirror was a little foggy, but not enough he couldn’t see himself. He ran his hand through his hair as he tried to smooth it back before shaving. It was bye week so he didn’t have to, but he wanted to look his best for Tess and he wouldn’t subject her to kissing his stubble this early on. He had gotten enough comments from his exes to subject the woman he was head over heels in love with to it this early.

After shaving, he put in some aftershave before he stepped out into his bedroom to change. Anthony didn’t bother putting a shirt on, sticking to just boxers and some sweats before he made his way into the kitchen, and he had Tess’s full attention as soon as she laid eyes on him. She could hear Sorel’s blocks, but she watched as he walked into the kitchen with his grey sweats low on his hips, his hair damp and messy from the shower, and his skin flushed from the hot water. For the first time, she was allowed to look at him and she couldn’t pull her eyes away from him.

Even if she was supposed to be doing the dishes.

“You okay?” Anthony asked, snapping her out of her trance and she blushed knowing she was caught.

“Yeah, yeah, just dreaming, I guess,” she replied and quickly finished rinsing out Sorel’s bottles and put them in the dishwasher before drying her hands.

Anthony titled his head as he looked at her before he stepped closer and rested his hip against the counter. He watched as Tess’s eyes dipped from his to his chest making him square his shoulders as he smirked.

Tess couldn’t help herself, she just reached out and touch his chest right under the black ink of his tattoo. She knew he was in shape and she knew he was firm, but feeling how firm he was took her off guard and she blushed hard as she quickly pulled her hand back. Anthony watched her carefully, his eyes darting to her hand and his smirk grew.

“I’m so sorry,” Tess rushed out, struggling to meet his eyes.

“It’s okay,” Anthony laughed. “I’m your boyfriend. You’re allowed to touch me, Tessa.”

“Still,” she squeaked. “That was uncalled for.”

“I’m your boyfriend,” Anthony repeated. “You’re allowed to touch me. In fact…” he trailed off as he gently took her hand in his and brought it back up to his chest, letting her actually feel him. “I want you to touch me.”

Tess took a sharp breath in, her eyes widening as she looked up at him. His chest was so firm under her hand and she could feel his heart beating and his hand dwarfed hers and her own heart was racing and his skin was still warm from the hot water and she could feel his breath get swallower. Her lips parted as she slowly moved her hand up from his chest to his shoulder before Sorel knocked her blocks over, making both of them jump as they were pulled out of their bubble and Tess pulled her hand back with a dark blush.

A flush dusted Anthony’s skin too as he swallowed and Tess cleared her throat. “Uh, right then,” she said and met his eyes for half a moment before she walked to the living room to check on Sorel. She had to take a deep breath, but even as she flexed her hand, she could still feel Anthony and it didn’t help to rid her of those stupid butterflies he always seemed to give her.

Or the flush she felt from her cheeks to her toes.

She glanced back at Anthony once she sat down next to Sorel and he did his best to give her a reassuring smile, but he could still feel her hand on his chest and, fuck, did he like it. He had to take a deep breath too before he slipped back into the bedroom to put a shirt on.

They had been together for less than a handful of days and she wanted to take things slow and that was definitely not slow. His gut twisted with guilt but he shook it off and told himself it wouldn’t happen again.

He wanted to be the best boyfriend she ever had and as much as he really liked the way her hand felt against his chest and the look in her eyes when she ran her hand up to his shoulder, he wouldn’t cross that line until she was ready.

He didn’t say anything as he came back out of his room, but neither did Tess. Sorel yelled “dada!” in her adorably cute voice that immediately made him soften and he made his way into the living room and sat down next to her on her play mat, the moment before almost forgotten.

Almost.

And later that night when Tess was curled up on his chest, if her wandered over his chest a little more than it had in the previous nights… Well, he didn’t say anything.

--

They had agreed to keep things between them so he knew he couldn’t tell the guys why, but he headed into the first practice post All-Star Game in a very good mood.

A lot of the guys were happy to be back, the older guys were happy for the break they got with their families, and some of the younger guys were still a little hungover from the weeklong partying. But Anthony was clearly in the best mood, even better than Casey, which was damn near impossible, so everyone picked up on it.

“Sex?” Marty asked. “Finally get some post-baby?”

Anthony choked and Barzy replied for him before he could even open his mouth. “No, can’t be sex unless—Oh my God, did you and Tessa…?”

“What?! No!” He replied quickly, his voice going a little higher as he tried to control his blush. “I just finally got multiple nights of good sleep and I feel good and I’m ready to take on the second half of the season. Is that so wrong?”

“No, of course not,” Casey told him.

“You sure, though? You really do seem post-sex happy,” Marty tried again and Anthony gave him a leveled look.

“Why would I lie about not getting some?” He replied, which, fair.

“We really need to hook you up with someone. How long has it been?” Marty asked, looking over at him seriously.

“Since before Sorel was born,” Barzy again replied for him and Anthony shot him a glare. “But the only person he’s allowed to be with is Tessa.”

“Okay!” He said firmly. “Can we please talk about literally anything but my lack of sex life?”

“I don’t know, I think it’s kinda funny that you’re one of the guys girls thirst over the most who’s also single and you’re not getting any,” Wally pipped in, making Anthony glare at him before he balled up a piece of sock tape and threw it at him, which only made the room crack up more.

But, Anthony got the last laugh because Trotz wanted to run through everything and he even had a grin on his face as he bag skated them to help them find their legs after a week off and Anthony was more than able to handle everything thrown at him. His muscles ached in a good way by the end of practice, but he still had his legs and a smile on his face and Trotz gave him a pat of recognition on his way back to the locker room.

The first game was in two days but it couldn’t come fast enough for Anthony. Being with Tess… It filled him with a new kind of energy and drive and he couldn’t put into words how happy and excited he was and he was probably crazy, but he just had a really good feeling about the season. It felt different. Special.

But maybe that was just him.

--

Anthony woke up game day morning feeling like it would be a good day. Tess was still asleep next to him with her hair thrown around her like a messy halo and he did his best to slip out without waking her and made them both coffee and breakfast.

When it came to getting ready later that afternoon, he picked his striped suit because he knew it was one of Tess’s favourites and he took his time getting ready, wanting to look his best for Tess, but she still needed to fix his collar and tie.

Anthony watched her with careful eyes as she fixed his collar and straightened his tie before she smoothed her hands down his suit jacket. “Better?” He asked softly.

“Better,” Tess confirmed and stepped back to admire him. “I like this suit on you.”

“I know,” he smiled. Tess ducked her head at his words but it only made her smile widen and he wrapped his arms around her waist. “So, do I get a kiss for good luck?” Tess didn’t say anything, she just pushed herself up onto her tippy toes and kissed him softly. Anthony melted into the kiss and when she pulled back, he chased her lips for a second. “Extra luck never hurt anyone,” he whispered when he finally pulled back.

Tess shook her head with a small laugh and patted his chest when Sorel wrapped her little arms around Tess’s calf. She really had been walking more and more, which totally didn’t make parenting so much harder. “I think you better kiss your daughter good luck, too,” she told him with a laugh.

“I think you might be right,” he agreed and crouched down to pick Sorel up and kiss her cheek, but it only made her fussy as she reached for Tess. “Or not,” he laughed as he looked to Tess. Sorel always calmed down for her dad, so it was weird that she didn’t want him, but Tess took her from Anthony and Sorel happily tucked herself into her mom. “Okay then,” he shrugged it off with a light laugh before checking his watch. “I need to go but—”

“We’ll be there, don’t worry,” Tess cut him off.

“In the jacket?” He asked, lightly biting his lower lip. He really loved that jacket and now she was really his girlfriend and he wanted to see her in it.

“In the jacket,” she confirmed with a smile and Anthony returned it.

“Kiss goodbye then?” He asked and when Tess nodded, he leaned in to kiss her softly, but Sorel used her little hand to push at his cheek. “Did you just push daddy?” He asked, more surprised than anything else, and not that Sorel had anything to say to him beyond her favourite word, ‘mama.’

“Did she just?” Tess laughed. “Maybe she’s jealous?”

“Maybe,” he sighed and tried to kiss her cheek again. This time she didn’t pull away from him, so he called it a win. Even if it was weird. “Alright,” he sighed and stepped back to grab his phone, wallet, and keys. “I’ll see you later then.”

“You’ll be great,” Tess told him.

“Thank you,” Anthony smiled before he slipped out the front door and headed down to the garage, and Tess turned to Sorel.

“Why’d you push daddy?” She asked softly, but Sorel didn’t say anything, just gripping the front of Tess’s shirt, making her sigh. “Pushing daddy isn’t nice. Daddy loves you very much.”

“Mama,” Sorel replied softly, pulling at Tess’s heart just as much as the first time she said it, and Tess kissed her cheek before making their way toward the couch.

Tess waited until Sorel went down for her nap to shower, with the baby monitor on the bathroom vanity of course. Her shower took longer than normal since she shaved her legs, but she quickly checked on Sorel after showering and she was still fast asleep, so she continued with her post-shower routine. She used a hydrating coconut scented cream and took her time combing, diffusing, and styling her hair so it actually looked nice for once.

By the time she was done with her hair, Sorel was ready to get up, so Tess fixed both of them some early dinner before doing her make up. It wasn’t much, just an earthy eye with some eyeliner, mascara, blush, and nude lip, but she felt beautiful and she smiled as she looked in the mirror.

She dressed Sorel into some blue leggings, a sweater, her jean jacket, and an orange hair bow that made her smile before Tess changed into her best pair of jeans and a long sleeved shirt that was a little lower cut than she’d usually wear. Paired with the pushup bra she chose, she took a moment to admire herself in the mirror. She looked damn good if she could say so.

Tess ran ger hand down her stomach to smooth her shirt down and she couldn’t restrain her smile as she got butterflies.

She sighed happily before she grabbed the jacket out of the back of her closer and put it on. Before the jacket felt like a weight on her shoulders, but how it left her feeling warm and fuzzy.

Tess made sure everything was all packed up in Sorel’s diaper bag before she and Sorel made their way down to Tess’s car to head to the game, and, for the first time, once they got to the arena and headed up to the suite, Tess didn’t feel out of place or like an imposter.

She felt like she belonged because she did. She wasn’t just Anthony’s best friend anymore, she was his girlfriend.

But, once she stepped into the suite, it took all of 30 seconds for Connor to figure it out. She knew the moment Tess stepped into the suite with unmessy hair and perfect make up while wearing the jacket.

Connor had to fight tooth and nail to get Tess to put that jacket on when she first gave it to her and now Tess was just wearing it? With her hair and make up that perfect? When was Tess’s hair ever perfect?

Connor studied her carefully as Tess settled in the suite and when Tess caught her gaze and tucked her hair behind her ear while she ducked, Connor knew.

“Oh my God!” Connor basically shouted as she made her way over to Tess. “You fucked Anthony, didn’t you?!”

“Shhh!” Tess shouted back, her eyes wide as a dark blush settled on her cheeks.

“Oh my God! You did!” Connor said just as loud, her smile widening.

“Connor!” Tess hissed and tried her best to cover Connor’s mouth. “I did not have sex with Anthony.”

“But you—” Connor tried. Tess never called him Anthony. It was alwaysBeau.

Tess glanced over her shoulder to see if any of the girls overheard their exchange or were paying attention to them, but thankfully none of them were. “You can’t tell anyone,” Tess said when she turned back to Connor and Connor’s smile grew as she nodded quickly. Tess blushed again as she tucked her hair back and bit her lip to suppress her smile, “we did not have …sex. But we are kinda together now.”

“Oh my God!” Connor basically screeched, something Tess didn’t even know she was capable of, and pulled Tess into the tightest hug she could with the arm rest between them and Sorel on her knee. “Fucking finally!”

They had decided to keep the relationship between themselves while they navigated going from friends to more, but Tess had wanted this for so long and she was so happy and in love that she was happy Connor figured it out because she wanted to talk to Connor about it.

“Just don’t tell anyone, okay?” Tess said when she pulled back from the hug. “Even Mat.”

“It’s a secret?” Connor asked, furrowing her brow.

Tess titled her head, “not a secret, but we… I mean, we’ve been friends for years and are co-parenting Ellie. We just want to keep it between us while we figure it out, you know?”

Connor nodded. “That makes sense. But oh my God!” She whisper shouted. “Finally!”

“Shh!” Tess shushed her again, quickly glancing back over her shoulder.

“Sorry, sorry,” Connor said quickly, holding her hands up before reaching over to touch her thigh. “Tell me everything.”

Tess smiled as she nodded and she took a deep breath before starting, “well, after the All-Star Game we watched FRIENDS like we always do, right? I got up to grab a drink and he followed me and when I turned around, I ran into his chest and he just kissed me. He said he didn’t want to pretend anymore. We, uh, snuggled all night, I woke up in his arms, and we talked about everything in the morning.”

“That’s disgustingly cute,” Connor deadpanned. “Is he a good kisser? I mean, it’s been a minute, but those lips…”

Tess’s blush darkened but she nodded, “yeah… Yeah he is.”

Connor’s smile grew and she gave Tess’s thigh a squeeze, “God, you have no idea how happy I am for you! You two are meant to be.”

“Thank you,” Tess replied, her smile softening. “I’m really happy. Honestly, I can’t believe it’s real, that he’s mine.”

“I mean, he’s had heart eyes for you for as long as I’ve known him,” Connor told her with a smile and Tess blush a little. When Tess didn’t say anything else, she continued, “as much as I want to, I’m going to save the ‘I told you so’s because I’m literally so happy right now, but how does it feel to be, like, Mrs Beauvillier?”

“I’m not Mrs Beauvillier,” Tess replied quickly, shooting Connor a glare as she blushed again. “But it feels really good to be his. Like I said, I’m really happy.”

Connor scrunched her nose up as she smiled and leaned in to rest her head on her shoulder. “We so have to double date now,” she told Tess.

Tess laughed and rested her head against Connor’s, “you know that’s an awful idea, right? Anthony and Mat are trouble when they’re together. They’d spend the whole time bickering like an old married couple.”

“But it’ll be fun,” Connor told her.

“Okay, okay, fine,” Tess agreed. “We’ll go on a double date eventually.”

“Yay!” Connor said and did a not so small arm pump of victory. Tess laughed, but she didn’t say anything else and the pre-game started not too long after.

To no surprise, Casey, Marty, and Clutter started the game, but from the moment he hit the ice on his first shift, Anthony had a jump to his step and an edge to his game. He skated harder than every other player, won every puck battle, wasn’t afraid to lay the body whenever he could, and he had four shots on goal by the end of the first period. Maybe the Islanders and Rangers were tied 0-0 by first intermission, but it wasn’t for Antony’s lack of trying.

Tess was on the edge of her seat or on her feet practically the whole game. She always loved watching him play and the strength and grace he moved with on the ice and the happiness that flowed off him with every game. She loved how free and authentic Anthony was every time he was on the ice. For years she felt like an imposter as she watched him play from the suite, often alongside his girlfriend of the time, but now she was the girlfriend.

His girlfriend.

Tess felt a new kind of freedom and authentic watching him play. And Anthony… He played with so much pride and happiness and love. He played for his family.

It was leaps and bounds his best game of the season. Even if he didn’t score it would have been his best game, but the puck kept finding him and with the number of shots and good looks he was getting, he was bound to put one in the back of the net.

Tess just didn’t think he’d put three in the back of the net.

She’s been pumped from his games before, including every playoff game the Islanders won over the last couple of years, but this was different and she couldn’t describe the high she was riding as the girls made their way down to the room.

Like always, Sorel was in Tess’s arms and Tess missed the knowing look in Sydney’s eyes as she looked between Tess and the locker room door before she asked to see Ellie. “What? Oh, yeah, yeah, of course,” Tess nodded and handed Sorel to her, even if she felt a little exposed without her in her arms.

Sydney smile as she said hello to Sorel before she looked up at Tess. “I don’t think I’ve had the chance to tell you how good you look in that jacket,” she winked.

Tess blushed but she couldn’t find her voice before the guys started coming out of the room. Usually Anthony and Mat liked to take their time after games so they’d be some of the last ones out of the locker room, but not this game. Anthony couldn’t get out of the locker room fast enough, he needed to see Tess so badly.

His hair was damp and he had stuffed his tie into his pocket and he hadn’t bother doing up all the buttons on his shirt before heading out of the room after Marty. As soon as he saw Tess, his beautiful Tess, his smile widened and he just couldn’t stop himself he was so in love with her. As soon as he could, he cupped Tess’s cheeks and crashed his lips to hers, not caring that the team was watching.

The hollering of the team sounded far away to Anthony as he deepened the kiss before letting her pull back a moment later and he rested his forehead against hers as he smiled. Sure getting a hatty felt good, but kissing her felt so much better.

“What the actual fuck?!” Mat yelled, his eyes wide at the sight. He had to be dreaming. There’s no way Anthony, love sick Anthony, just kissed Tess like that in front of everyone unless they were— “You—” He continued to shout as he turned to Connor but she shushed him and quickly covered his mouth.

“Shh, let them enjoy the moment,” Connor told him, her eyes sparkling and a bright smile on her face as she watched Tess and Anthony.

It had Mat’s wide eyes moving between Anthony and Tess to Connor and back again and he pushed her hand away from his mouth. “You knew?!” He whispered shouted, betrayed she didn’t tell him.

Connor shrugged, “I just figured it out. Tess was glowing and wearing the jacket willingly and she called him Anthony. It wasn’t hard to put it together.”

“And you didn’t tell me?!”

“Mathew!” She hissed and tried to cover his mouth again as she focused on the happy couple.

Tess blushed and pressed her face into Anthony’s chest and she could feel his chuckle which only made her blush darken before he kissed the top of her head and guided her over to Mat so he’d stop shouting and hopefully not disturb any of the sleepy or sleeping children.

“When the fuck did this happen and why the fuck didn’t you tell me?” Mat asked giving Anthony a hard look.

Anthony breathed a light laugh before he winced, “night of the All-Star Game.”

“Seriously?!” Mat’s face dropped before he shook his head. “I’m seriously never going to another All-Star Game again. Sunrise and I come back to you having a literally baby, and now I go to Vegas and you get married… I thought I was the one that was supposed to be getting married in Vegas.”’

“We didn’t get married,” Anthony replied quickly but a blush still creeped up his neck.

“Well at this rate you will be by next year!” He cried and a few of the other guys laughed, but Connor did her best to calm him down. “I seriously can’t believe you two finally got your headed out of your asses.”

Tess missed the way Anthony looked at her. “Yeah,” he agreed. “I can’t really believe it either.”

Connor’s smile softened as she looked at them. Back in October when she first met Tess, she knew that there was something between her and Anthony and she was so glad they finally got to experience the happy Mat made her. They deserved it.

Mat calmed down a little as he took in the way Anthony looked at Tess, the same lovesick puppy way he had for months, and it made him smile. “Okay, bring it in,” Mat said and he clapped Anthony on the shoulder.

“What?” Anthony laughed.

“You have been literally insufferable being hung up on Tessa,” Mat said before looking over to Tess. “You have no idea how many times I tried to knock some sense into him. But now you’re finally together like fuck, so yeah, bring it in.”

Tess shook her head but couldn’t hide her smile and she met Anthony’s gaze with a smile before nodding and letting Mat pull them into a tight embrace. They were all quiet for a moment before they pulled back from the hug and the rest of the guys congratulated them and told them how happy they were for them. Anthony and Tess… Everyone on the team could see they were a long time coming, but they were finally able to figure it out for themselves.

“We, uh, we should get going? Get Ellie home and all,” Anthony said after things started to calm down and Tess nodded. “And no,” he added quickly before looking over at Mat. “Nothing will be happening, so don’t try.” Tess’s blush darkened as she pressed herself closer to Anthony.

Mat held his hand up in surrender but he still couldn’t believe they were actually together. “You never know,” he said with a smirk. “You did have a wicked game and were named first star…”

When Tess tensed, Connor elbowed Mat in the ribs. “That’s enough,” she told him. Maybe she hadn’t known Tess all that long, but she was still the bestest friend she had ever had outside of Mat and she knew that …intimacy could make Tess uncomfortable. “Of course,” Connor smiled. “We hope you have a good night, and we really are so happy that you’re together, even if Mathew has a funny way of showing it.”

“Funny way of showing it? You’re the one who keeps saying they just need to fu—” Mat started and Connor cut him off with another elbow.

Tess winced and couldn’t look up at Anthony, so Connor said, “well, uh, good game, Beau, and good night then.”

“Thank you. You too,” Anthony nodded and pulled Tess a little closer to him before he guided her over to Sydney to take Sorel and Tess grabbed the diaper bag before they started making their way to the garage.

Anthony held Sorel on his hip and he wrapped his other arm around Tess’s waist before he whispered, “I know we said just between us, and I… I kinda blew it. I just—I saw you and I couldn’t stop myself.”

“It’s okay,” Tess looked up at him. “Connor kinda figured it out as soon as I stepped into the suite and she wouldn’t have told Barzy anyway. Syd figured it out too. And I liked it.”

The corner of Anthony’s lip twitched up, “you did, eh?”

“I did,” she nodded. “I like being your girlfriend.”

Her words made his heart flutter and he paused in his step to look at her. She opened her mouth to ask ‘what,’ but he kissed her before she could get the word out. “And I like being your boyfriend,” he told her. “Love it actually.”

Tess softened and whispered, “I love you, too,” before kissing him again. “Now let’s get home. Ellie is going to throw a fit if she doesn’t go to bed like now.”

Anthony laughed and kissed her again quickly before nodding, “you’re right. Let’s go home.”

Tess drove her and Sorel home in her car while Anthony drove himself home and Tess only hated it a lot. She hated being away from him.

Tess got home before Anthony, so she headed up with Sorel and started getting her ready for bed. Anthony got home not long after and he was happy to take over and put Sorel down for the night. Game nights were always long nights so Sorel was all but out the moment she was put in her crib.

Anthony took a moment to just stand there and watch her and for a split second he could have sworn he saw Tess in her before his heart twisted and he shook his head and slipped out of the room. He closed the door behind him and the corner of his lip twitched up when he saw Tess.

“I don’t believe I’ve had the chance to tell you how amazing you look tonight,” he said as he stepped over to her and gripped her hips.

Tess blushed but leaned into him, “I don’t think you have either.”

“Well, you look amazing,” he told her and let his eyes run down her body. “And your hair…” he reached out to touch the end of a curl but restrained himself from actually giving it a tug. “I love your hair so much.”

Tess laughed and knocked his hand back, “it took a long time to get it like this so don’t mess it up.”

“Sorry,” he smiled and Tess hummed before she reached up to run her fingers through his hair.

“I like your hair, too, especially after you wash it and it’s soft and fluffy and a little wavy.”

“I will try to remember that,” he said like he could ever forget anything she said.

“Good,” she smiled and leaned up to kiss the corner of his mouth but he quickly captured her lips in a proper kiss. “I am going to change though,” she told him when she pulled back. “I’m a little over these jeans.”

Anthony laughed but nodded and let her step back from him, his eyes dropping to her ass as she walked back to her room, but no one had to know. He bit his lip as he watched her and once she closed the door behind her, he headed to his room to change too. He changed out of his suit into a t-shirt and some sweats, and Tess was curled up on the couch by the time he was done, so he smiled as he sat down next to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

“You did have a really good game,” Tess told him as she leaned into him.

“Thanks,” he laughed before he kissed the top of her head. “I had my lucky charm watching me.”

“You say that like we’re not at every home game,” she laughed and wrapped her arm around his middle.

She could feel the way he laughed. “It’s different,” he told her. “We’re different now.”

“Are we?” She laughed. “I didn’t realize.”

“No?” He teased before kissing her. “What about now?”

Tess softened as she looked at him and she wondered what she had done to be this lucky. “I love you,” she whispered after a moment.

“I love you, too,” he replied and kissed her again. “But I guess the cat is kinda out of the bag.”

“Yeah,” Tess laughed. “Guess it is. We’ll have to tell our parents before they find out from someone else. That would be… Bad.”

He knew she was right, but the thought of telling his mother… He wasn’t looking forward to the ‘I told yous.’ “She tried to get us together in the summer,” he told Tess with a wince.

“Everyone tried to get us together and we were too stubborn, huh?” Tess said after a moment and Anthony shook his head.

“Something like that,” he agreed. “But it doesn’t matter because we’re together now and that’s all that matters.”

Tess was quiet for a moment before she nodded, “yeah, that’s what matters.”

They were both quiet for a few moment as they stayed wrapped up in each other’s arms before Anthony yawned. “I know it’s not overly late, but that game kinda took it out of me, so I think it’s time for bed.”

“Right, yeah, of course,” Tess nodded and pulled back. She wasn’t really tired, but she could go to bed, even if she kinda hated the idea of going to bed alone now that she got to go to bed with him. She felt cold without him against her, but she ignored it as she went into the bathroom to get ready for bed.

“Good night,” she said when she came out of the bathroom and started toward her room.

“Where are you going?” Anthony asked immediately.

“To bed?” She replied confused.

“But my room is over there,” he said as he gestured in the other direction.

“Really?” She laughed and Anthony nodded.

“I’m serious. You can’t just abandon me.”

“I’m not abandoning you, Anthony. I’m not even leaving the apartment,” she shook her head but he moved closer and wrapped his arms around her from behind and hooked his chin over her shoulder.

“But I don’t want to be away from you. And plus, we’re back out on the road in a few days and that’s gonna suck, so you can’t leave me now. Especially after the super incredible game I had,” he all but whined.

Tess melted back against him as she smiled. She couldn’t say no to him. Especially when she adored being in his arms. “Okay,” she sighed. “Let’s go to bed then.”

Anthony smiled and kissed her cheek before turning her in his arms to kiss her properly. “Let’s go to bed,” he echoed when he pulled back. He kept his arm around her as he guided them to his room and he pulled his shirt off as Tess settled into bed before he did the same. The smile Tess gave him made his stomach flip and he returned it before moving closer and pulling the covers over them.

“Je t’aime,” he whispered and Tess’s smile grew.

“I love you, too, Anthony.”

He was never going to get tired of hearing her say those words and he couldn’t stop himself from kissing her again. The kiss was soft and Anthony smiled into it before he pulled back, keeping his eyes closed for a moment to soak it in and when he opened them, Tess was already looking back at him. Anthony’s gaze softened as Tess gently cupped his cheek and he knew he was the luckiest guy in the world.

“Goodnight, Anthony,” Tess whispered before she reached over and turned the bedside light off before getting comfortable on her side. Anthony wrapped his arm around her middle and pressed his chest against her back as he snuggled closer.

Tess’s tanktop had ridden up, exposing her stomach and Anthony’s brain short circuited the exposed skin under his touch but he didn’t pull away and neither did she. His touch gave her butterflies and she smiled into her pillow and covered his hand with hers.

Yeah, she could get used to this.

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[toasttt11]

maleah’s style

Maleah obviously is very big in fashion and likes her outfits just to be simple and maybe having something fun or different every once in awhile! when she was younger she would only wear the clothes she made.

#maleahbarzalau #john marino #nhl x reader #jack hughes #luke hughes #quinn hughes #nico hischier x oc #nico hischier #nhl x oc #nhl blurbs #jh86 #nh13 #jack hughes x oc #john marino x oc #mat barzal x oc #mat barzal #ny islanders #new jersey devils #anthony beauvillier

[cellythefloshie]

Oops I’ve never noticed them, time to do a reread

They are most notable in the Summer Fix Exchange Fic I wrote last summer with Mat Barzal x OC and Anthony Beauvillier x OC. It also appears in my Nico Hischier fic The Bet.

#celly answers