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tellywoodtrash · 3 years

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immj2 05 + 07.12.20 lbs

05.12.20

“tum saari property mere naam karoge.”

BITCH WHAT NOW???????????

V like dadiiiiiiiiiii ko dhokaaaaaaaa?!!!!?!?!?! oh ho, lagta hai pair chhoote chhoote V ko asli waale feels aa gaye dadi ke liye, free of charge!

THIS MAN AND HIS FACE NEED TO BE STOPPED SO HELP ME GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

also what else that tongue do (other than throw constant taane to guilt a bitch) baby boy mmmmmmmhmmmmmmm 😏😏😏

riddhima thinking ki property meaning khatra and she can’t allow it to stay on dadi, she has to take it on herself, so that if kabir tries hurting anyone, it’ll be her.

this one’s paar ki nazar has recognized that train of thought, i think.

she’s like think whatever you want idgaf, just do whatever the fuck i say or else. and don’t even think of charging me an extra paisa. jaake bhaanda phodna hai toh phod lo, phir you won’t get your remaining 4.5 cr. DAMN GIRL, WHERE THIS SHAATIR TAKE-CHARGE SIDE OF YOURS BEEN ALL THIS TIME???????/

hubs thinking same thing. he’s never been more turned on by her as when she’s using maximum brain.

“kya hai?????? aise taad kyun rahe ho?????????”

“taadna ekdum free of cost hai. only for your pretty face!” I HATE HIM.

LOVE THIS TROPE. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE.

face change from smiley eyes to shaatir eyes, as he contemplates the facts before him. unf, the things it does to me to see him emote.

lijiye, iss show ke Idiot Brothers. and their plans to prove it’s not vansh and to get riddhima thrown out. i’ll pass.

but this one’s face tho. cutest.

same, aryan. mera bhi yehiiiii reaction hai. taareeef karoon kya uskiiiii, jissne, tumhe banaaya!

some rando has come and is like hi, i’m your new lawyer; your old one appointed me before he left. no doubt he’s been sent by kabir.

V’s face: chutiya samajh rakha hai kya???? that’s not how this shit works.

v is like you’re here about my will and lmao riddhima’s all happy thinking oh vihaan has started my work already. SIS TILL NOW WHAT HAS HE DONE ACC TO YOUR PLAN? TELL ME ONE (1) THING THAT HE’S DONE LIKE YOU SAID.

yadda yadda yadda lawyer is like the property cannot be transferred for a few months. because Reasons. sure. sounds legit.

kabir is ecstatic. needs to learn to hide his MWAHAHAHAHAHA MERA CHAAL KAAM KAR GAYA FACE better if he wants to win at this game. he’s up against poker face all india/tellywood champion.

fb to kabir bribe/threatening lawyer. zero surprise.

V telling dadi idc about all this, meri asli daulat toh aap hai. lmao he really just does not give the other grandkids a chance to be #1 in dadi’s books.

ishani is pakka sure this is vansh bhai itselfffffffffff. and lmao angre’s suspicious face. they’re legit like:

V trying to negotiate salary increase (10% per month!!!!!!!!) and riddhima’s like bhakkkkkkk, sabzi mandi laga rakhi hai kya maine? yeh faltu ki bargaining nahi chalegi yahaan, jo karna hai karlo.

ishani’s back with bhai’s favvvvvvvvv chocolate cake and.... OH NO HE WAS SO FUCKING RUDE TO HERRRRRRRRRRRRR. riddhima ko sabak sikhaane ke liye ishani ko kyun sunaaaa rahe hoooo!?!?!?!!?

anyway riddhima tried to sametofy that raita by apologizing to ishani and.......... that went as well as expected.

kabir and aryan watching and lootofying mazze.

lmaooooo aryan tubelight ko situation samajh hi nahi aaya and kabir is just like

lmao have you seen a more pitying look????

angsty piano playing time.

lmaooooooooo she’s like “jahaan vansh banna tha, wahaan bann nahi paaye, yahaan yeh karke kya kya fayyda hai?” which......... troo. i really like this give-no-fucks version of riddhima who says what’s on her mind, instead of just doing lengthy internal monologues of stupidity.

as,kjdlkasjd;lksjd;lkjsa;ldkjsa;lk she’s like vansh never yelled at anyone if it wasn’t a big deal. to which V is reacting just the way i am rn.......

‘lmao reallllllllly??? i don’t remember it like that.’

more lecture and yeah, i relate to him.

ishani over here crying to angre about bachpan se leke aaj tak vansh bhai ne kabhi nahi daanta. which again i’m like?????????? i have literally only seen V1.0 yelling at ishani for some bs or the other. literally never has he shown her any pyaar; the most he’s ever mellowed at her was when he gruffly told her sunny’s “truth” and made her understand that the wedding with angre would be good for her. nostalgia comes with some reallllll rose tinted glasses huh, ki everyone’s whitewashing asshole!vansh this way.

soft ship gently chugging along!

anyway angre has a plan and ishani like so help me god imma murder this fucker if he’s not vansh. there’s my girl!!!!!

this one is driving a hardddddddd bargain and wow, really going to town on that piano. riddhima doesn’t find it shady at allllllllllllllllll that he’s an equally good piano player as vansh huh? zerooooo thoughts about that.

“gunaah karne waale se bada gunehgaar hota hai gunaah sehne waala.” bhai waaah, isske victim complex ko mera salaam, ki bechaara is ONLY GETTING 5 CRORES, BOOOOOO HOOOOO.

“jabse tumse yeh deal kii haina, badi gandiiiii waali feeling aa rahi hai!” lmaoooooo yeah sureee, i can see how torturous it is, to be paid OBSCENELY to......... play yourself.

“mujhe teen guna chahiye. i want triple.”

BITCH WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF 3X SLKJDFSLKJFLDK 15 CRORES I KNOW TERA HI PAISA HAI BUT HADH HAI BHAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII?!?!? YOU SOUNDING A LOT LIKE THIS GUY:

oh boy ishani and angre have entered hearing about “triple”.

badi safaai se he said OH I MEANT IMMA BAKE A TRIPLE LAYER CHOCOLATE CAKE FOR YOU TO SAY SORRY.

softttttttttttttttttttt siblingssssssss. baaaaabies.

but hubs and wifey have come with some stress relief for bhai, lol.

lmao riddhima’s reactionnnnnnnnn.

lo ji yeh bhi aa gaya rang mein bhang daalne. wants to make things interesting via bet. some realllllll high stakes shit. good lord, don’t be gross and bet riddhima or something, maharabharat style.

aaaaaand it’s on!

no point screaming in your mind, riddhima. should have sent him to basketball camp before you recruited him.

"bohut mazaa aayega!!!!” lmaooooooo seeeeee, i told y’all. all this big baby legit wants is someone to playyy with himmmmm. have you ever seen him look THISSSSS HAPPY EVERRRRRR??????????

———————————————————————

07.12.20

lmao @ his purposely bad dribbling.

stressing Dollar Biwi out some more by saying he hasn’t even watched the game on tv.

unffffff. Chehra Appreciation Break. these go out to my girl @nawaazishein (she knows exaaaaaaaactly why.)

riddhima is like when you pick teams, pick me, and kabir is here to talk smack and say everyone’s gonna find outtttttt nowwww.

ok great, whole fam’s here. there’s a chalkboard set up for the score and everythinggggg. coz as per usual, no one else has nothing else to do. not even catch up on their podcasts or play some candy crush or nothing. they just wanna watch these two grownass men having a pissing contest.

V wins the toss but aryan’s bitch ass lies and says kabir won it. K selects riddhima first.

he knew that kabir’s dumb ass would do exactly that. besides, he’s seen riddhima play. she sucks ass at it. best if she brings down K’s team from the inside, lol.

V’s picks: useless!chacha, angre. K’s pick: aryan. rules established, ki after every 10 points, rival team se player will be out.

all i can think of rn is that everyone went and changed and riddhima’s gonna play in her sari and heels?!?!?!?!!!?!?

game faces on!

lol such bball captain and his gf head cheerleader vibes. CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh god are we supposed to sit and listen to chachi’s commentary?!?!!?!?

please note i’m literally only watching this ep to see the boys’ shirts move and expose chest and abs.

riddhima gets the ball and is standing there in one place dribbling so that V can easily intercept and he’s just..........

............. imitating a frilled dragon or some shit?????

kabir just took the ball from her and scored.

first basket he made and he’s already telling vansh to give up. dude, hadh hoti hai overconfidence ki.

V like haar-jeet ka faisla end mein hota hai. i would say i’ve already won, getting to see this much sweaty neck and chest, mmmmhmmmmmm.

SCOREEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! i mean, yeah V scored a point in the game or whateverrrrrrrr, BUT **I** GOT TO SEE SOME TUMMY WHEN HE JUMPED UP!!!!!

lol idk what the sassy finger wave was for, but i liked watching it.

THIS DUMBASS. SOMEONE PLEASE JUST PUT HER OUT OF HER MISERY.

aryan’s out.

AND I SCORE AGAIN!!!!! ouff, the things i have to resort to coz they don’t gimme tellywood men shirtless anymore.

useless!chacha’s out.

askljdlkjlkdjlsakjdlsakjdlsdjlaskjdlj bechaara kabir.

“you. out, please!”

sureeeeeely he will not pull the kkhh move in front of the whole fam??????/ will he?????????

look at his face, ki awwwwww, how cute that she’s trying.

riddhima is so stupid, if she scored all these points, why didn’t she pick V to leave the game instead of angre!?!?!?!!?!?

BITCH DID THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“isski har harkat vansh se kyun milti hai?????” idk sis, take a wiiiiiiiiiild guess. if it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck........... MAYBE THE FUCKING 6 FOOT 2″ DUCK LOOMING IN FRONT OF YOU AND RUNNING HIS HANDS ALL OVER YOU IS YOUR FUCKING HUSBAND??????

the way he’s smiling is practically challenging her to figure it out.

she’s still like nope, not him. just a coincidence. while she mulls on that brain fart, imma stare at rrahul’s chest some more.

of course.

YOUR WHOLEASS FAMILY IS STANDING THERE WATCHING THIS OMG I’M DYING OF SECONDHAND EMBARRASSMENTTTTTTTT FUCKING TAKE IT TO YOUR ROOM YOU WEIRDOS

“yeh bonus hai. free of charge. just for your pretty face!”

this dumbass is also hung up ki how overnight he became good at playing basketball. abbe oh gobar ganesh why can’t you just accept it’s him?!!?!?!?

aryan’s like dude, it’s him. i’ve seen him play. this is him.

but there must be somethinggggggg unique about vansh’s style right????

ahaaaa, ambidextrous.

kabir legit threw something like that looks like a clown’s nose. i guess he just carries that around full time coz he’s a 🤡🤡🤡

blah blah we already knew this from the precap. i’m just fwding to when he plays with the left and wins.

lmao V’s faaaaaaaaace. when kabir finally gets his day of reckoning, vansh is really nottttttt gonna hold back.

never seen ppl THIS happy to see a left handed person, lol.

“vihaan vansh ki tarah left hand se khel sakta hai??????”

CUTESTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lmaoooooooooo his face is like jo toota nahi tha, woh bhi tod ke rakh degi.

lolllllllllllllllllllllllllllll. asshole.

uh huh honeyyyyyyyyy. did the Vansh Move.

asking how you did all this when i never told you these facts about vansh?

“tum zaroorat se zyaada sochti ho, Sweetheart.”

DUN DUN DUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“kya aisa humne pehle kabhi nahi kiya? kya yeh pal humaari zindagi mein kabhi bhi nahi aaya, riddhima?” he said her name The Vansh Way, not The Vihaan Way!!!!!!!

“tum mere......”

“haan riddhima, yeh tumhara veham nahi hai. main vihaan nahi, vansh hoon. tumhara vansh.”

haaaaaaye bechaari. at this point i’m feeling quite bad for her. it’s not her fault she’s so stupid. ab hai toh hai. kya kar sakte hain. bedagarkkkkkk ho tera, vansh. may you die of blue balls for fucking with her simple mind this way.

i just did my homework reallllllllllly well, it seems. so my 3x payment is totally worth it. god i wish that pool was full, so that i could dunk his head into it and hold it there for a few minutes.

THIS ASSHOLE DOESN’T EVEN FEEL A LITTLE BIT BAD FOR WHAT HE’S DOING. LIKE, THODAAAA TOH HE SHOULD FEEL.

and then he turns around and looks at her like this!?!?!?!!?!?!? OUFFFF. FUCK YOU MANNNNNN.

blah blah talk about how now everyone must be convinced (except kabir) but yeah, i’m just here for The Face.

JFC SIS. AT THIS POINT YOU JUST NEED TO PULL A KHUSHI KUMARI GUPTA SINGH RAIZADA AND YANK A FEW HAIRS OUT FROM HIM AND ISHANI AND SEND IT FOR A DNA TEST.

shhhhhhhhhh, koi hai. yup. and not at all an excuse to get touchy touchy with wifey and give her some more mindfucky clues as to who you are.

someone’s watching us, we gotta sort out the property shit realllll quickkkkkkkkk.

he has An Idea, it seems. oh boy.

#ishq mein marjawan 2 #immj2 #immj2 lbs #episode liveblogs

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iknownothingihearnothing · 5 years

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Game of Thrones 8.1 “Winterfell”

OMG.

ZOMGGGGGGGG.

Them dang ol’ dang ol’ Thrones are BACK!

It’s been twenty looooooooooooong months of GoTlessess. Winter came. And left. And damn came again. And now winter has come for our heroes in the glory of springtime.

Can’t you just hear the little birdies chirping? The bees buzzing? The white walkers moaning as they shamble beyond the wrecked Wall in their endless quest for dominance and human flesh?

You’d be forgiven if you don’t entirely remember what happened last season. Jon bent the knee to Dany after he and some of his Merry Men--the Amazing Tormund Giantsbane included--ventured Beyond the Wall to capture a wight in order to prove to Cersei that, yes, the undead were indeed real and not a conspiracy cooked up by Ser Alyx of House Jones in order to get her to let her guard down just enough for Dany and Co. to steal her crown and she sailed in on Drogon like a badass and rescued them. No damsel in distress here. So Jon lost his King in the North status but he gained a lady friend, and by “friend”, I mean--

After seeing the wight for herself, Cersei promised to send the Lannister army up North to fight for the living. But, you know...

Gratefully, our handsome Kingslayer, however, has some scruples. Finally having had enough with Cersei’s crazy bullshit, he tells her he swore to fight for the living and that is what he is going to do, damnit, and takes himself North-way, leaving his sisterlover and their maybe bun in the oven behind in the capital.

The biggest reveal, of course, was the confirmation of the long running theory of R+L=J. AKA, Rhaegar Targaryen went off and married Lyanna Stark in secret, she got preggies with Jon/Aegon and, dying in the Tower of Joy, Lyanna made a young Ned Stark promise he’d always take care of her son. So he lied to everyone, that he was his bastard kid to protect him from the “all Targaryens must DIE” Baratheon rule (that non-Aryan head of hair helped, I’m sure) and raised him in Winterfell as a Stark but not a Stark.

Now Jon Snow, who started the series knowing nothing, will soon know all.

Including that he’s technically been fucking his aunt but what’s a little incest between friends on Game of Thrones?

Oh and also Viserion was taken out and the Night King revived him to knock down the wall. We have an undead dragon, people!

Let’s get into it, shall we?

We gots a new opening, which is cool. The now defunct Wall looks like it is entirely made of ice cube trays.

We start in on a little boy who is trying to see all the hubbub but can’t glimpse over the adults, harking back to the pilot when the Baratheon-Lannisters visited the North to offer their thanks for helping overthrow the Mad King and to hook up Sansa and the Joff. Said “hubbub” being Dany, Jon, and their army entering the North. Arya’s also there, wearing a far less fabulous outfit than Dany is, frowning at the Hound’s appearance but relieved at Gendry’s.

He has traded a small boat for a horse.

If you were taking bets on how soon Tyrion would make a junk joke, I hope you had down “within the first few minutes”:

Varys rightfully calls him out on his hypocrisy; he hates imp jokes but loves eunuch jokes. How can he be cool with that?

Obvs, because Tyrion has balls and Varys doesn’t, duh.

#Woke, Tyrion is not.

As the procession moves throughout the town, people are glarin’ and starin’ and Dany is obviously uncomfortable, poor lamb. Jon tells her that Northerners don’t “accept outsiders easily”. So, to use an analogy, Jon is the one guy from his small town in Pigeon Butt, Arkansas, who is welcoming to everyone when the rest of the residents are all “You ain’t from ‘round here, are ya?” *changes magazine in rifle*

I’d be annoyed if I were Dany. I mean, lugging my ass all the way up to the damn frigid North, freezing my tits off, with a fucking army and two dragons, all to save everyone’s asses, and they’re copping a ‘tude? Pfft. Y’all can kiss my Southern butt.

One of the dragons roars and Dany smiles because at least that is familiar to her, but of course the townspeople scatter while Arya stands there grinning in delight. Dragons! Cool!

The Lady of Winterfell, however...

The look to the camera she gives is like “Oh ffs.”

Jon rides into the Winterfell courtyard and when he sees Bran for the first time since he was a boy he, delighted, hops down from his horse to hug and kiss him. “Look at you! You’re a man!” And when the robot that used to be Bran replies “Almost” like the automaton he is, Jon’s face gets, well...

And, I must add, how WEIRD it is to me that, amid all these Qyburns and Sansas and Davoses, BRANDON is a popular name in Westeros/Ye Old Timey serfdom alterna-England. To me, Brandon is THIS guy:

Brandon is Jason Priestley and a delightfully 90s name, not to mention the moniker of way too many boys I went to school with. I keep expecting to see Nat round one of the corners of Winterfell with a megaburger.

Jon hugs Sansa and asks after Arya, who is “lurking somewhere”, and hesitantly introduces his girlfriend to his sister. It’s the nightmare Meet the Parents except the parents are dead, everyone’s about to die, and it’s fucking cold as balls.

Dany, the poor lass, tries to ingratiate herself by complimenting Winterfell’s “beauty” (eh?) as well as Sansa’s (yes, Sophie Turner is a fox and Joe Jonas would agree) but Sansa’s having none of it:

BranBot breaks in on the Mean Girling, telling Dany that the Night King has Viserion and the Wall has been de-Walled. At the Great Hall, Young Umber says that they need more men and horses “if it pleases my Lady. And my Lord....and my Queen. Sorry.”

The Queen thing is, uh, gonna take some getting used to.

Sansa tells Young Umber to collect his people and Jon is called “Your Grace” after giving an order and little Lyanna Mormont, that badass, rises slowly like a boss.

She continues like “Yo, we crowned you King in the North, you gave it up, wtf are you now? Just a regular old lord, I guess?”

And Jon busts out this truth--although he was honored to be crowned, the choice was either keep his title or save the North. He chose the North. I gotta side with Jon on this one, sorry, Lyanna. I love you, but y’all Northerners are being stubborn dumbasses. Crowns and titles reallllllllly don’t mean much in the wake of DYING HORRIBLY BY LEGIONS OF UNDEAD.

Tyrion tries to calm the storm between the Northerners and the visitors, telling them that Jon risked his life to prove he wights were a threat; the Lannister army was soon going to join them in fighting for the Not Dead cause. There are grumbles amongst the peanut gallery and Tyrion concedes that they “have not been friends in the past”--

--but they all had to work together now. Sansa, still holding onto stubborn Northern pride, wonders aloud how the hell how they are gonna feed Dothraki, Unsullied, and two dragons? “What do dragons eat anyway?”

Dany: “Whatever they want.”

Booya!

Obviously, I would bend the knee to Daenerys. I likely fall over though. Hope she doesn’t mind.

Tyrion goes to speak to Sansa, whom he has not seen since season four, Joffrey’s non-wedding to Margaery, to be precise. You remember that.

Yes, Sansa, it indeed had its moments. Unfortunately, with Joffrey gone, we got Ramsay in his place so....

Sansa apologizes belatedly for bolting right after the Joff’s murder, which, admittedly, was a wee bit hard for Tyrion to explain, her being his wife and all. He kinda had to go to trial. Hire Oberyn to fight the Mountain for him. Again, we all know how that turned out.

Squishy squishy!

Sansa also can’t believe Tyrion truly is convinced the Lannister army is on its way to the North based on Cersei’s word alone. “I used to think you were the cleverest man alive,” she lays down before walking away.

Sansa has turned into Shade-sa.

Now it’s time for a Jon and Arya reunion! Yay!

Jon: How’d you sneak up on me?

Arya: How’d you survive a knife through the heart?

Jon: I didn’t.

So Jon and Arya show each other their swords and Jon asks her if she has ever used hers and we the audience watching are like--

And then they talk about Daenerys. Jon is a wee bit pissed that Sansa is unappreciative of him risking his and his Merry Men’s asses to save the whole frigging kingdom, understandably so, and, fucking weak, Arya defends “her family”. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE HELLO DON’T YOU SEE THE BIGGER PICTURE?! NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR PETTY “I DON’T LIKE MY BROTHER’S GF, SHE’S NOT FROM HERE, SHE CAN’T UNDERSTAND US!” NONSENSE! THE DEAD ARE COMING, DAMNIT!

In K.L., Creepy Qyburn rushes to tell Crazy Cersei that the wights have broken through the Wall. Her response?

If there is one thing on this mixed up continent we can count on it’s that Cersei will do the most fucked up shit to keep that crown on her blonde head. Including letting ice zombies lose on at least one of her kingdoms.

Just off the coast of the capital, Yara is still being held prisoner of her Uncle Euron, AKA Guyliner Greyjoy. What is it with pirates and guyliner and leather pants? Euron, Captain Hook, Jack Sparrow...While poor Yara, the rightful Queen of the Iron Islands, is tied up, Euron introduces Crazy Cersei to the captain of the Golden Company, who promises all these men and horses and weapons and things. ‘Cept no elephants, much to Cersei’s dismay. They’re not good for long sea voyages.

Euron wants to talk “in private”.

Which in Westerosi-speak is:

Cersei tries to put him off; she told him after the war. “Wars can last years,” Euron counters. He’s given her weapons, the Iron Fleet, the Golden Company (whose captain is named Harry Strickland, that is so out of leftfield in a world of Eddards and Tywins), what else does he need to prove that he’s totally Team Cersei?

Well, Cersei doesn’t wanna lose the only ally she has left in this war she still sees herself fighting so...

Euron:

Elsewhere in the capital, Bronn is trying to get his offtime on with three ladies who cannot stop talking about how frigging cool and scary the dragons they saw attacking K.L. were and Bronn is obviously only an afterthought. A watercooler, if you will. When Creepy Qyburn interrupts and lets Bronn know that Cersei is looking for him.

The gist is Qyburn has been sent to hire Bronn on Cersei’s behalf to execute Tyrion and Jaime in case they don’t survive their “Northern adventures”. And she wants him to use a crossbow to do it because she has a keen sense of poetic irony.

Bronn:

Bronn might be my favorite.

In Cersei’s chambers, Euron is getting dressed (because he just got Queened, you see; this show can never be accused of being subtle) and immediately asks her how he “compares to the fat king”. Cersei tells Euron that Robert had a different ladyfriend every night but still had no idea how to please a woman. Sad for Robert.

Then he asks about “the Kingslayer” and Cersei wonders if he wants to lose his head. But he’s arrogant and she likes that (and he apparently doesn’t mind that she had a torrid affair with her twin brother; they’re either perfectly matched or perfectly psychotic). Just before Euron leaves, he says:

Prooooooooobably not aware that Cersei’s belly just may be currently occupied at the moment.

Cersei smiles holding aloft her ever present goblet of wine as Euron leaves. IDK if she is simply humoring an ally or if she actually finds Euron grossly charming. I mean, he’s hot and all but he’s also a pig but hey I’m sane so what do I know.

On Euron’s ship, Theon and his buddies launch an attack against the assholes who have captured Yara. Theon unties her and she headbutts him for abandoning her like a sister would (”You left me, your Queen, to our bastard of an uncle! You dipshit!”), then extends a hand to help him off the floor and they say no more about it.

Yara suggests they go back to the Iron Islands; they’ll all need a place to go if Dany and Co. fail in the North, a place where the dead can’t follow. But Theon obviously wants to go to Winterfell and fight for the Starks, to make up for betraying them and being an absolute fucklord, so Yara commands it. “What is dead may never die, but kill the bastards anyway.”

In the North, Dany is worried about Drogon’s and Rhaegal’s lack of appetites. They “only” ate eighteen goats and eleven sheep. IDK, that sounds like a lot to me but again, what do I know? I’ve never owned a dragon. I should ask the Munsters.

Dany and Jon go visit the dragons, who are restless cus they don’t be likin’ the North. And why would they? They’ve been all over and in much warmer climes and now they’re stuck in some frozen over craphole where no one washes their hair and wears the same clothes for two weeks straight.

Dany wants to fly them to give them some exercise and urges Jon to get on top of Rhaegal while she flies her trusty Drogon. Jon is, obvs, hesitant. He’s never ridden a dragon, he doesn’t know how. Well, no one does until they’ve ridden a dragon! So, Jon climbs on top of Rhaegal, braces himself, and off they go.

And it’s hilarious.

And Dany’s totally into it. Jon’s holding onto Rhaegal, screaming like a girl and Dany’s like “Oh YEAUH I’m all about this”. When they touch down at a really pretty spot in front of a waterfall to get bizzay, she’s looking like she’s falling deeper in love with him and the dragons are looking like, well, like they are watching their mom get bizzay.

Kinky. You don’t see Dragon Mom-Dragon Cuckold-Ex King of the North videos on PornHub. That’s a niche they should tap into.

This scene was totally unnecessary for the plot and probably cost a lot of money to render and was hysterical. Who knew dragons had kinks? I mean, I guess they are entering their hormone-fueled adolescence and missing internet and Playboy outlets so...this is the next best thing?

Sorry about that, boys.

Arya and the Hound run into each other for the first time since season three, where she left him to die but first robbed him. “You’re a cold little bitch, aren’t you? Guess that’s why you’re still alive.”

She also runs into Gendry and asks him to make her a weapon, to which he hesitantly complies.

Inside Winterfell, Sansa receives a letter from House Glover letting them know that they wish the North luck but House Glover will remain in the woods. It’s a classic piss off. Even though House Glover promised to always stand by House Stark. No, Sansa denies. He’d stand behind the King in the North. They’re gearing up for another argument. Jon counters that they needed allies. He brought home armies and dragons!

UGH!

Sansa, I love you, but Lort Almighty!

Yeah ok, the Mad King was, well, mad, but A) Dany is not her father and B) ICE ZOMBIES WITH AN ICE DRAGON ARE COMING! SOON! THEY ARE ON THEIR WAY RIGHT NOW! ALL YOU PEOPLE ARE BEING HARD-HEADED IDIOTS!

Dany and Jorah go to visit Sam to thank him for curing Jorah of his Greyscale. Dany asks Sam if there is anything she can do for him to repay him. Sam asks for a pardon for taking some books from the Citadel and a sword from House Tarly; it’s been in his family for generations. And that is when things get--

Daenerys explains that she offered to let Randyll Tarly keep his lands and titles if he bent the knee, but he refused, and we all know what happened to him.

At the info that his daddy is toast, Sam seems to take in stride because Randyll was a dick but when Dany adds that Dickon stood by his father and was also roasted Sam excuses himself.

How good was John Bradley in this scene? He conveyed so much emotion in a single facial expression, just a shift of the eyes, a downturn of the lips. You could totally tell he was barely holding it together.

Sam goes outside and spots BranBot, who urges him to tell Jon the truth with his emotionless visage. After all, he’s not his brother.

He finds Jon in the crypt and they hug it out until Jon notices the look on Sam’s face. He thinks something’s wrong with Gilly or Little Sam until Sam confesses that Dany had Randyll and Dickon executed. Sam asks him if he would have done this if he’d been in her place. Jon argues that he’d executed men who had disobeyed him in the past, but he’d also pardoned men who refused to kneel. Jon parries he wasn’t a king like Dany is a queen.

Sam claims he is. And he doesn’t mean King of the North.

He and Bran worked it out. Sam had a High Septon’s diary. Bran had...BranVision. Jon’s father was, of course, Rhaegar Targaryen and his mother was Lyanna Stark.

He’s Aegon Targaryen, Sixth of his Name, Protector of the Realm, yada, yada, yada.

Jon’s like “You better not be bullshitting me, man!” And Sam’s all “Would Dany bend the knee and give up her crown to save her people like you did, bro?”

Jon:

On the grounds of Winterfell, the hunting party, consisting of Tormund Giantsbane, Dolorous Edd, and five times resurrected Beric Dondarrion (be careful, Beric, Melisandre isn’t around to resurrect you again), is, uh, hunting when half the party jumps out screaming “Stay back! He’s got blue eyes!”

Brienne needs to get on that. They’d make adorable, and huge, blue-eyed babies.

Eventually, they find poor Young Umber, the first casualty of this season, nailed to a door with his innards and body parts creating a spiral pattern around him. He awakens zombified and the party lights him on fire, causing the whole spiral of gore to become alight in flames.

Ugh.

Everyone has a fucking sigil on this show. Even he dead guys.

The episode ends with Jaime finally riding into the North, climbing down off his noble steed to fulfill his promise to fight for the living, and...

Your past sins have caught up with you, Jaime.

#game of thrones #game of thrones recap #got #game of thrones 8 #got season 8 #Lena Heady #nickolaj coster-waldau #isaac hempstead wright #Kit Harrington #emilia clarke #pilou asbæk #alfie allen #gemma ward

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cosmosogler · 6 years

Text

hi guys.

today i got up reallllllllly late just because i didn’t see a reason to get up earlier. i watched a whole lotta youtube! i made some great mac and cheese for brunch. i looked at clouds out the window and saw that basically all my neighbors have their windows covered. maybe they left town for the holiday. i goofed around with snoopy and dug through my clothes to look for some light jackets and my other jeans. i did find another pair! i could do with one more but i have plenty of other pants i can wear.

i’m just really into the blue jeans. you know how it is.

blue jeans with a red coat. that’s been My Look for a few years. yes.

i’m not SAYING barry bluejeans is the best, but you can clearly see the evidence.

anyway goofing aside i guess i spent the day being very chill and quiet. i don’t know if it was deliberately “self care” or anything like that but i did feel very lethargic. when oz got home from work we called and i found a nice upload of ferngully to watch. i liked it when i got to say “time for another musical number” every ten minutes. we didn’t realize until 40 minutes into the movie that the image was flipped. we ended up making a couple of nostalgia critic references and that was fun too.

after that we just caught up for a while. it was nice. i feel like i’m forgetting what it’s like to have known someone for years and years and i forget that some people have also known ME for years and years now. oz, some of my followers... classmates on facebook, even though i don’t talk to them regularly. it’s bizarre, almost. that i existed before coming here i guess.

i know!! like wow, right???

the way i worded it to oz was that i have lost a lot of people that were very important to me this last year. it might just be easier to have kind of hazy distant memories. at least right now. i don’t have time to get upset about it.

i mean, i am still upset about it, but i also recognize that i do not have time to be upset about it.

although mostly i just think my thinking is muddled right now because i’m sick and stuffy and my brain always finds that unacceptable. it’s like being sick pushes out any room or capability i might normally have for thinking about anything at all.

i’m still not really... feeling the absence of my grandma pearl in my life right now. it took a long time for it to settle in that my grandpa al had died previously. it just comes to me in little bits and pieces. “oh. i’m never going to get a letter from pearl again.” “ah yes, the picture of my grandma and grandpa. i love them. they are good. oh. they were good.”

considering that i lived with my dogs and saw them every day and it took me basically a year for it to register that jake and randi were dead and i could have spent more time with them and i didn’t... this isn’t too surprising i guess.

i mean i knew it before that. i saw randi’s body a few hours after the last time i had scratched her behind the ear. i let them take jake into the back of the vet’s office. it’s not that i didn’t know and it’s not that i wasn’t hurting. but to feel all of it at once it took a year.

it still hurts though haha.

anyway after i hung up with oz i swept the floor and cleaned the toilet one more time. i need to do something about that. maybe later. i’ll see about getting the right kind of cleaner for the pipes while mother is here.

then mom and my brother were here. i let them into my apartment and showed my brother around.

“i like the single danimals in your fridge,” my brother said.

“yes,” i replied. “he keeps me company. and the skeleton.” i pointed at the wooden skeleton over the keyboard. mom sighed because it’s like the only thing i have hung on the wall. the other thing i have hung up on the wall is a light-up plaque that reads “The Struggle Is Real” in cursive over my kitchen table.

at dinner i got my brother to laugh pretty hard just by giving him a Look when mom placed her peppers on an extra plate. it felt good to have that level of communication.

the joke is that one time at mexican food we both tried to eat those yellow peppers at the same time and both died on the spot.

mom did a few annoying things. she complained to me about how fat some of the people on the plane were. she also told a story about how unacceptable it was that a guy who was offered as many snacks as he wanted had taken a bunch of them during their extremely long flight across the country. my brother was also a little confused by that one.

i managed to patiently suffer through a short story about how dad is doing after his surgery. i even winced when she talked about how many places his jaw got broken in.

actually that was only partially on purpose. it does genuinely sound unpleasant to have the roof of your mouth cracked open and even the idea of the sensation is grossing me out.

i mostly wanted news on the dogs. genevieve is very upset that the whole family goes upstairs without her. my brother said she goes upstairs sometimes but i remember the few tumbles she took while i was still at home and they did not look like they felt very good at all. rug burn on an open wound is just not a good time. i don’t blame her for being reluctant to keep trying even now that her incision is all healed up. her fur’s probably grown back in by now too.

she likes to tease wiley. she’s allowed to carry around shoes and he isn’t (he chews and has chewed up all her favorite toys) so she’ll rub them in his face. apparently now she also likes to pick up one of wiley’s tennis balls, carry it around until he takes it from her, and then pick up another toy. when wiley realizes she is carrying a new toy he drops the old one to take that from her. so then she grabs the first toy and goes to hide while he’s distracted. you can get him to play fetch that way too, as long as you got two balls to throw.

diogi’s apparently doing ok. she’s still romping around the backyard even though her back half doesn’t work at all.

my and my brother’s conversations move extremely quickly. it’s like trying to keep track of a tennis match between particle accelerators. mom had no idea what we were talking about when we got about two sentences in.

mom dropped me off back at home and then i spent the evening watching more youtube videos. i also sent a message to a person whose meta i’ve been reading for like two years.......... i am very shy and this week i’ve been very muddled but she responded very positively so i might try again when i feel a little better.

i was going to say “i don’t know when i got so shy” but it feels like i’ve always been like this. when i get thrown into a new school with a completely new community i’m forced to meet people. it’s a necessity. but seeking people out myself is like... what??? why would i EVER do that???????

i can’t even FOLLOW people i really respect in case they see my username and check out my blog. the idea is stressing me out.

anyway it’s 10:52 now, which is about when i started writing my entry yesterday, so i guess i’m making good time. i gotta get up at 7 tomorrow morning because mother wants to leave at 8 am for sea world. i’m not really sure what the day is going to look like- i know that there’s not a whole lot of vegetarian options at theme parks as far as food goes. my stamina is a lot better since i started biking basically every day so hopefully walking for a bunch of hours will be fine. i’ll bring the sudafed to try to keep my air ways clear.

i’m not going to get enough sleep tonight but maybe i can catch a few zs during the car trip.

i saw a thing about treasure planet and now i’m listening to “i’m still here” again and i’m bummed haha.

something good today was that i, sort of, reconnected with people i guess? i talked to oz for a good long time. i sent a message to the new person. i had a good time with my brother. i sent a facebook message to an old classmate who’s messaged me a few times in the last year and i figured i should probably message him for once.

i do really want to go on a sailing space adventure again now though. and prove myself with nothing but determination to a roguish but ultimately goodhearted swashbuckler who might appreciate me the way none of my parents ever did. yes. good.

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uberff · 7 years

Text

Chapter 4

Robyn

Months later

“Baby can you focus? On me…” I sang lowly as I tapped on the steering wheel. I was stuck in traffic, but I honestly didn’t mind because pandora was hittin’.

I was on my way to Kai’s house to show him the designs I’ve been working on for my fashion show. I’ve been working on them for quite some time now and I can’t wait to see the outcome. The very first collection I did was a success, and I know this one’s gonna be even better.

Besides working on my designs, I’ve been looking for some where else to stay. I know O gets tired of me messing up shit all the time. Plus, I think it would be better if I was to be on my own for now. I feel like it’ll teach me a lot.

The traffic had finally sped up and I was happy because I had to pee. I’ve been drinking hella water lately and I noticed that I have to pee way more than when I don’t drink it. I’ve been doing this water challenge and it’s honestly been going great. I wouldn’t even look at a water bottle last year.

My music had came to a stop, indicating that I had a call. Looking down at my phone, Kai’s name flashed across it so I answered.

“Damn what happened to I’m around the corner?” His raspy voice blared throughout my new matte black range that I bought myself.

“I was stuck in traffic.. I’ll be there in like 2 minutes.” I assured him as I got off of the freeway. I would’ve been at his place a long time ago, but traffic was the problem.

He had just got back in town and hadn’t been asleep especially since I was coming over. I told him he could take a nap before I came, but he said that if he did he wasn’t gonna get up.

“Aight.. well the door opened.” He said before hanging up. Dropping my phone in my purse, I grabbed my strawberry lemonade from Wendy’s and started to sip some of it as I stopped at a red light.

Just like I had promised, I was at his place 2 minutes later. Grabbing his food, I made sure the doors were locked before walking in his house like I lived here.

Before I even opened the door, I heard Used To This blasting throughout the living room. I know his neighbors hate him.

Shutting the door behind myself, I walked in only to see him on the couch bobbing his head to the music while he was on his laptop. He was probably doing something work related. You would never catch him not working.

“Ouuuuu, you brought food.” He smiled as he cut the music down and came to greet me with a hug and kiss on the cheek. He had on some sweats and a durag, looking like a whole meal.

“Yea I felt bad when you said you haven’t had any sleep yet..” I said as he waved me off.

“It’s cool, I’m used to it.” He bit into his burger as he looked over at me. He told me that once his daughter died he hardly ever got any sleep. I never asked him how she died, but I’m pretty sure he’d tell me once he’s ready. It’s not my business anyways.

“Aight so what you got for me..” he asked as he sipped some of his drink before snaking his arm around my shoulder.

“Wellllll,” I paused as I pulled my book of designs out of my purse onto my lap. “These are for my spring collection.. which is why I used all the bright and bold colors.” I explained to him as I flipped through all the pages. He was nodding his head, stroking his beard so I assumed he liked them?

“Damn,” he paused as he looked throughout the whole book.

“This is dope foreal.. bitches been loving this trend lately so this was a good idea, I like. You got a gift, ma. I honestly thought you was bout to show me some trash ass shit.” He complimented, earning a laugh from me.

“Why would you think that?”

“Cause you know bitches be will go buy a iron on patch and slap it on something and swear they know fashion.” He said as I busted out laughing because that was actually true.

“But nah.. you proved me wrong and I’m proud of you. They gone love this shit.” He said as he kissed me on the forehead, sending butterflies in my stomach.

Kai and I have been seeing each other for months, and I got butterflies around him every time we saw each other like the first time we met. It was crazy..

“Thank you Kai.. that really means a lot coming from you.”

“Ain’t no thang but a chicken wang.” He said as he did the little snap thing with his fingers as I rolled my eyes playfully.

“You found any models yet?” Shaking my head no, I was about to speak until he beat me to it.

“You should throw a lot of brown skin models in there since you got all these bright and neon colors. Their melanin will reallllllllly make the colors have that you know…. pop and look good n shit. That’s my idea though.. you ain’t gotta use it if you don’t like it.” He shrugged. His words started to process in my head and.. it actually didn’t sound too bad.

“No.. that sounds like it would be beautiful..”

“Foreal?” He rose an eyebrow. I don’t know why he’s surprised. He’s a business man, he should be used to coming up with great ideas.

“Yes!” I yelled excitedly. I couldn’t wait until I had this all planned out. I knew the outcome was going to be beautiful.

While I was deep in thought, I noticed that his head was now on on my chest and I could hear his light snores. I rubbed my fingers over his waves the correct way, making sure not to mess them up. He’d be ready to kill somebody.

He truly looked like he was sleeping so peacefully and I didn’t want to wake him, but I needed to get home. My room was dangerously dirty and I’ve been meaning to clean it up but I just haven’t had the time to. On top of that, I need to wash my hair asap.

“Kai..” I lightly shook him as he wrapped his arms tightly around my waist. It kind of made me feel secure.

“Kai.. I gotta go.”

“Nah.”

“Nah?” I questioned with a chuckle.

“Just wait until I’m in a deep ass sleep..” he mumbled tiredly. I knew he meant he wanted me to stay because he couldn’t really sleep alone.

“Ok, just let me go get a blanket.” I told him as he sat up rubbing his eyes.

“Might as well go in my bed then.” He said as he stood up and sluggishly walked to his room with me trailing behind him. Plopping down in his bed, I made sure I was comfortable before he got on top of me.

“Rub my hair again.. that shit felt good.” He said as he laid his head on my stomach and snaked his one of his arms around my waist.

One minute into massaging his scalp, I could hear his snores again. “Poor baby was tired.” I cooed as I rubbed his back. I guess I might as well get comfortable, because ain’t no way I could get out of this death grip he had me in.

I was now home washing my hair, and I was becoming hungry as hell. After washing all of the conditioner out, I applied some leave in before drying my hair with a t-shirt. It air drys way faster that way.

“A sandwich sounds nice.” I said to myself as I cleaned up the mess I had made before going into the kitchen.

My phone had lit up, and I ain’t have no friends or anything so I knew it was Kai. I was complaining though.

Kai🤤: Yo I slept good as fuck

Me: I see.. I left over 3 hours ago I thought you would’ve been up by now sleepy head

Kai🤤: I would’ve but I had a dream and I barely get those so I stayed sleep 🤷🏽‍♂️

Me: about?

Kai🤤: sum weird shit 🤔

Me: like?

Kai🤤: ion know.. just remember I was fucking Oprah

Me: bye

Laughing as I sat my phone on the counter, I noticed it light up again but he was gone have to wait. This sandwich was really calling my name.

As I was making my sandwich, Jaylen had came in laughing loudly with food in his mouth. There were pieces of food flying every where, slightly killing my appetite.

“Nigga you look like an ankle.” He laughed, referring to Odell. They stayed saying dumb shit.

“Can you close your mouth or go some where with that?” I asked, annoyed with his presence. I don’t understand why he’s always here like he doesn’t have a place of his own.

“Fuck off, always complaining bout some shit. Why you worried bout me for?” His face twisted up.

“Because you’re spitting food everywhere and if it gets on me, you’re not gonna like the outcome.” I smiled politely.

“Man is you done or is you finished?”

“Odell you better get your boyfriend before I do cause Ima hurt his feelings!” I yelled as I heard O chuckle.

“Quit fucking wit her Jaylen!”

“Ain’t nobody fucking wit her butter bean head ass.” He sucked his teeth as he opened the fridge.

Ignoring him, I proceeded to finish making my sandwich. “You supposed to put the meat first.” I heard him say as I sucked my teeth. I was about to get real disrespectful.

“Ho, why is you here?”

“I’m just saying…I used to work at Schlotzskys.”

“Nigga there’s no correct way to make a sandwich, shut up.”

“You know you got a smart ass mouth, huh?”

“You know you annoying, huh?” I rolled my eyes.

“You know I don’t give a fuck, huh?”

Since I was finally done with my sandwich, I sat it on a paper towel on the counter and went to the fridge to pour a glass of juice. Some Minute Maid would be bomb with this sandwich.

I definitely needed a bomb movie to watch to go with this bomb sandwich.

When I spun around with my glass of juice, I realized that there was like a good two bites subtracted from my once whole ass sandwich. I rolled my eyes to the gods and focused them on Jaylen who now resembled a tomato, trying to surpress his laughter by biting on his lips.

“Jaylen!” I screamed. He finally let out his horse laugh and showed half of my sandwich all chewed up, because of course he had to laugh with his mouth open. I hope he chokes.

“Shut up, nigga. Just make a new one.” Usually, I wouldn’t have the energy to but I really had a taste for a sandwich.

There was silence between us for a second, all you could really hear was the crowd shouting from the football game O was watching. I was too focused on making my sandwich but I felt a pair of eyes on me. I looked up and sho'nuff Jaylen was giving me bedroom eyes.

“What?” I mumbled, licking mayonnaise off of my finger. He licked his lips before talking, almost like he was thinking before talking. Like, he was trying to consider my feelings. Because usually, he’s SO outta pocket.

“Where you been for the past few days?” He asked with his fist on his cheek.

“I been busy.” I shrugged while putting the finishing touches on my sandwich. Could’ve been a hella boss at Subway.

“With who?”

“Damn, 50. What is this, 21 Questions? Would you tell me who or what you’ve been doing?”

“Ashley, Nia, Kayla-”

“Bye, Jaylen.” I collected my sandwich and my juice and he stopped me, of course dying of laughter.

“Nah, wait. Robyn, stop.” He tried to swipe hair behind my ear and I swerved him like Joseline would do Stevie. Channeling my inner bad bish.

“Nah, for real. I miss yo lil’ childish ass being around.” He said sincerely. Niggas always miss you when you done fucking with they ass.

I chewed my sandwich obnoxiously in his face and he chuckled nervously. Doofy ass.

“So…” I tried to change the subject.

“You ain’t miss me?” He asked coming around the counter to tower over me. I took another bite of my sandwich before he took it and set it down.

“You got one more time to limit my food.”

“Whatchu gon’ do?” He mumbled, our lips inches away from one another’s. His hands traveling down to the front of my leggings.

My game face was on but I was shuddering like a Nikon camera at a bomb ass photoshoot. I was tired of giving him satisfaction and squirming under his gaze.

“Exactly.” He said once I did nothing but think. I smiled and let him bury his head in my neck. He kissed it softly and a moan slipped out but I masked it as a giggle. His presence was everything but his attitude was not poppin’.

He thought he had it. Nah. I'ma play with him though. He picked me up and put me right next to my sandwich, I looked down at it and he held my chin and brought me back to meet his gaze.

“Stop thinking about ya dry ass sandwich. Why you can’t look at me?”

“Because I don’t have time for your games, Jaylen.” I said truthfully.

“I ain’t playin’ though.” I chewed on the inside of my cheek and weighed out my options. His morale is at a 4 right now but he’s usually at a 10. Damn, why he acting right when I have Kai? Issa setup.

“Finally.” I whispered, bringing his freckled face closer around the same time my phone started ringing. I grazed my lips with his before hopping off the counter with my sandwich and answering Kai’s call.

“Nigga, you thought.” I yelled over my shoulder, took a bite of my food and continued conversing with my bae who actually acts right.

Kai

Looking over at my clock, I cursed to myself because it was 2 going on 3 in the afternoon. I never sleep this long, but I was honestly tired as fuck. A nigga been working and traveling back to back and I haven’t really got the time to just lay back and sleep. All a nigga take is naps and that ain’t shit.

Robyn’s cold feet had brushed against my legs, letting me know that she was still here asleep. No wonder I slept so long. “Aye you know it’s bout to be 3, right?” I whispered in her ear as she didn’t say a word. Shrugging, I got up and went to go take a much needed piss.

Afterwards, I washed my hands and then brushed my teeth. Once I was done with my morning routine, I rubbed my hands together before taking off my durag. Bout to make muhfuckas drown.

“Yeen gotta do em like that Kai.” I mumbled to myself as I examined my waves in the mirror. My shit was hittin.

“Kai, nobody care about that pond!” I heard Robyn’s morning voice say from the bedroom. She knew that once I took my durag off, nobody could tell me shit.

Cutting the light off, I walked back into the bedroom as I locked eyes with her. Baby girl’s hair was a nest, but she was still the baddest in my eyes.

I swear Robyn had that one of a kind beauty. That natural beauty.. they don’t make em like her anymore. “Good morning Kai.” I heard her say as she got up to hug me. I realized that she was wearing one of my shirts and it looked hella sexy on her.

“Good morning beautiful, you sleep good?” She started blushing, looking cute as hell.

“Did I? I was literally in heaven.”

“Do you usually sleep in like this?”

“Not at all..”

It was the head she gave me last night that had a nigga sleeping like a baby. Ion know where she learned that shit but she deserve an award.

I cooked last night so she came over and I planned on just watching movies and shit but we ended up conversing on some heavy shit and one thing led to another. We ain’t have sex. She been let me know that she wasn’t ready for that yet, and I didn’t mind. I wanted her to be comfortable with me.

Grabbing my phone off of the nightstand, I seen multiple messages from my assistant on the lock screen. “Fuck,” I stressfully sighed as I scratched the back of my head.

Assistant🤞🏾: remember, important meeting tomorrow!

I looked at the time she sent it and it was at 12:53. I must’ve been too busy with Rob to even notice.

Assistant🤞🏾: Kai! Where are you?

Assistant🤞🏾: If you’re not here in the next 10 minutes, you’re out of luck. Everyone’s getting tired of waiting of waiting on you. You always take your sweet ass time.

Assistant🤞🏾: you just missed out on a MAJOR opportunity. I tried everything I could 🤷🏽‍♀️

Sighing, I started to text her back. I swear that meeting was the last thing on my mind. I had completely forgot since I’ve been taking care of all this other shit.

Me: Kayla can you plz reschedule?

Assistant🤞🏾: are you serious right now Kaiden? You didn’t even have a good reason not to show up to this meeting, so what makes you think they’re going to want to work with you again? You just made me and yourself look bad.

I knew she was upset, because she never calls me by my government. She had worked hella hard to get this meeting set up and she went out her way to get some very important people to come, but I honestly had overslept and wasn’t thinking about any of that.

This wasn’t my first time not showing up to a meeting either. The first time, we had got into a big argument the previous night and she had pissed me off to the point where I was livid. If I had faced her the next day at that meeting, I know I would’ve did something I was gone regret.

Kayla was a childhood friend of mines. We used to fuck around here and there until after that argument, we both felt like we should just keep it strictly business. We both know we need each other and we make a bomb ass team, so little petty arguments about relationships had to go.

Me: I’m sorry.. It won’t happen again.

Assistant🤞🏾: and you expect me to trust you when you do shit like this? I don’t care about that baby ass apology Kai, actions speak louder than words! Everyday I work my ass off and damn near break my neck for you only to be nonchalant about this! Start taking shit more serious or you gone be looking for another assistant.

Reading over her message actually killed my mood. It made me feel bad as shit. She may get on my nerves sometimes, but she always goes above and beyond for me so the least I can do is start taking shit more serious, be considerate, and start making better decisions.

“Why you got a frown on your face?” Robyn asked as she grabbed my face, making me look at her and not my phone.

“I missed an important meeting today and my assistant fussin’ and shit and now I feel like shit.”

“Oh god, was it my fault?”

“Not at all.. I was supposed to been had this in mind by yesterday anyways.” I mumbled as I ran my thumb across the picture of my baby girl in my chain. I looked up at Robyn only to see her staring at it.

“You got anymore pictures of her?” I had a whole room full of my baby girl’s things. She would never be forgotten.

“Do I?” I laughed as I went to my closet to go get the basket full of some her things. Anything I didn’t have, her mama had it.

Robyn started looking through the pictures with a smile on her face. “She looks like a little chocolate princess.” She cooed as she showed me a picture of me and my baby girl from her 3rd birthday. Damn I miss her so much..

“Is this you in the back? This looks really old, how old were you?” She laughed. I was tall and scrawny with no beard. In other words, ugly as shit.

“Bout 16..” I mumbled as I scanned through more pictures.

“16?” She asked with an eyebrow rose.

“Yea.. I had her pretty young.” I shrugged. Growing up in a Hispanic household, it wasn’t that big of a deal for your son to have a kid early.

Being the young, careless, and reckless nigga I was back in high school, I ended up getting my girl pregnant at 15. My mom was more happy than mad if anything.

“What was her name?”

“Kaila.. you hungry tho?” I asked, trying to change the subject as I neatly placed everything back in the bucket. I didn’t want to get too emotional.

Nodding like she hadn’t eaten in days, she stood up and led the way to the kitchen. I had to do a double take, cause I saw my brother sitting on the couch. Kendall was my corny ass 17 year old brother who swore he was the shit.

“Sup foo’?” He gave me a head nod as he kicked his crusty ass feet on my table.

“Bitch get them fucking sky scrapers off my table. Fuck wrong wit’ you boy?” I knocked them down. I don’t know what this nigga’s problem was.

“Buggin’, my feet pretty.” He scoffed.

“Who dropped you off?” He had his own car, but my mom had took it a couple of weeks ago cause this nigga was hard headed.

“Ma.. she said I had to go wit yo Nut ass.” He smirked, slightly pissing me off. My mom was forever pinning this nigga on me whenever I was supposed to go some where. Just when I was about to speak, Robyn had came and sat next to me.

“Why you ain’t tell me you had a girl over? Got me lookin’ mad crusty.” He tried to fix himself as he noticed Robyn.

“You look like that everyday, ain’t shit new.”

“Fuck allat. How you doing? I’m Kendall.” He tried to mac as he stuck his hand out for her to shake.

This nigga was a clown. Having him over is about to be hell.

Tapping her thigh so that she could get up, I sat down and brought her back down on my lap.

“Your brother’s sweet.” She turned around to look at me.

“Ion know about allat but he did brighten my shitty ass mood.”

“You know what’ll brighten it more?”

“If you let me bend you over on this balcony and fuck the shit outta you?” Her eyes had lit up.

“Kai!”

“I’m playing, chill. What is it though?”

“If you let me get on your back.” She wiggled her eyebrows.

“Hell nah you know a nigga got that old man back.” I wasn’t over exaggerating either. A nigga back was always hurting cause my mom always wanted me to move shit all around her house because she’s so damn small

“Want a massage?” She offered as we stepped foot in my room. I needed to clean in here. There were clothes scattered around from me trying to find a fit earlier.

“Please..” I told her as I took off my shirt and plopped down on my stomach. As the bed dipped, I felt her get on top of me.

“Don’t be gentle with that shit neither get all in t- goddamn…” I groaned as I felt her hands dig deep in my back. She knew what the fuck she was doing like she had been doing this shit for years.

“Like that?” She whispered seductively in my ear.

“Fuck yes..” an accidental moan slipped out as she giggled. I didn’t even give a damn, this shit was heaven.

After a few seconds, I heard my voice on her phone causing me to suck my teeth. This damn girl caught me slipping and recorded me. “If you don’t delete that shit.” I sat up and tried to reach for her phone.

“Nope.” She laughed.

“Alright.. Ima get you back.” I nodded as I thought about a plan.

Jaylen

In the middle of eating my delicious ass pie, I heard a few knocks constantly banging on my door. This would be the 5th time I yelled that it was open. Nobody can just show up to my door step without asking for me at the front desk, so it was obviously someone that I knew. Whoever it was, was 3 seconds away from catching a bullet up their ass.

Just as I was starting to ignore them again and focus on my food, they started up. “YO! ITS FUCKING OPEN!” I yelled louder than before as I threw my fork down. I swear to god if it was Odell, I was gonna hurt this nigga. I wasn’t in the best mood, because I didn’t get any sleep and I woke up with a mean headache. All I wanted to do was eat my pie and watch some tv but I guess that was too much to ask.

The knocking continued, making me suck my teeth and get ready to beat somebody’s ass. What bored ass muhfucka rings the doorbell for 10-15 fucking minutes? Has to be somebody with no life.

Walking further towards the living room, I swung the door open only to have the delightful view of my beautiful little sister. My shitty attitude immediately went away.

“JAYLA!” I yelled excitedly as I picked her dainty body up and spun her around. Her loud giggles could be heard throughout my condo.

“Bubba, I missed you!” She smiled as she grabbed my cheeks, squeezing them. Chuckling at her antics, I played with her long pigtails before putting her down.

“Damn ya old man don’t get no love?” I heard my dad’s voice making me laugh. I was gonna smack this nigga for ringing my doorbell, cause it honestly made my head hurt worse. I knew it wasn’t Jayla, because she was too short to even reach it.

“Why you ring the doorbell like you aint got a key?”

“Nigga knowing you, I ain’t wanna just barge in here since my baby with me.”

“Man.. I ain’t doing shit and like a normal person you could’ve just called.” I told him in a duh-like manner. He just shrugged.

“That’s one thing about ya pops.. I ain’t normal.” We walked further into the living room before sitting on the couch. Jayla had sat next to me, tracing the tattoos on my arm.

“Oh I know.” I rolled my eyes as he laughed. I looked over at Jayla and she was playing some game on my phone. How she got my phone? I don’t know.

“So what brings you he-”

“Damn its cold as hell in he- JAYLA!” I heard Odell’s voice as he ran in and picked up Jayla. She was just as excited as him.

“Why you ain’t tell me she was coming?”

“I didn’t know she was. Speaking of that, not to be rude.. but what made you show up?” I asked my pops. If I would’ve known they were coming, I would’ve cleaned up and had something planned instead of sitting in here all day. I could’ve threw them a party or something.

“She been on my ass about staying over here and she’s finally out of school and you said you wanted to watch lil mama for the summer. I mean, I ain’t letting you keep her the whole summer but maybe 2 weeks..”

“Why not?” I didn’t see what was wrong with keeping her the whole summer. I barely get to see her unless I fly out there cause her crooked ass mom never wants her to come out here.

“Nigga that’s my only daughter.. I can’t be away from her too long and her mama would definitely say hell no.” He stated.

“I hardly get to see her pops. At least a month?”

“I’ll see..” he sighed before he pulled out his phone and started texting. I’m guessing he was talking to his bm. She could kiss my ass if she didn’t wanna let Jayla stay longer. I don’t see what the big deal was. I’m responsible, I know how to handle kids. Yea I smoke, but of course I wouldn’t do it around Jay. I would be an idiot.

“Nigga you smoke like all day everyday, how you gone handle that?” I heard Odell ask as my head snapped in his direction. I swear if looks could kill this nigga would be deader than disco music.

I glared at him, before he noticed he had said too much. How dumb did he think I was? “Really Jaylen? And you want me to let you watch her for that long? On top of that, you be letting all them scheming ass hoes run in and out here. I don’t want all them people around her.” His speech was shorter than I thought. Usually he could go for hours.

“Pops, I’m your son. You should know I would never put Jayla in any harm or dangerous situations. Yes I smoke, but I planned on stopping if she was gonna be here. And you ain’t gotta worry about me having anybody besides Odell over. You got my word on that.” I explained to him. I knew he trusted Odell, so if anything was involved with him he’d say yes. He felt as if Odell was the more mature and responsible one and I don’t know why. This nigga more childish than me.

“Alright.. I trust you then. Don’t let me down, or that’s yo ass.” He stressed sternly.

“Alright baby girl, you gone be a good girl for ya brother?” My dad asked as she nodded quickly with a big smile on her face.

“Good. Im bout to go, come give your daddy a kiss.” Within a blink of an eye, she ran and jumped in his arms. They both talked for a little while and exchanged goodbyes before he started to leave.

“Ima FaceTime you every 2 minutes for her.. better answer too.” And with that he left. By now, it was just Jayla and I.

“What you wanna do pumpkin?”

“Hmmm.. can we make smores?”

“At this time of the day?” I asked with an eyebrow raised. She nodded anxiously and I stood up before laughing. I could never say no to her. She was spoiled as hell.

“Alright then, smores it is.” Jumping up and down on our way to the kitchen, I looked in the pantry to see if I had everything for the s'mores.

“Bubba, can I have a boyfriend?” She asked as she struggled to reach the sink. Picking her up, I held her high enough to where she could wash her hands.

“Boyfriend? You watch too much tv.”

She just giggled. “Jayla why would you ask me that?”

“Odell is cute.” She shrugged as I shook my head but couldn’t help but laugh. No wonder she was always so excited to see him, she had a crush on him.

Robyn: is my jacket over there

Me: yea prob idk

Robyn: could you just leave it outside of your door

Me: really dude.. that’s the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard

Robyn: no what’s dumb is how you tried to stunt on me

I sighed realizing that she was about to write a whole fucking speech that I honestly wasn’t even gonna read. Females kill me with that. Writing a whole book for what? Shit was a waste of time.

Me: alright whatever

“Hold on right quick Jayla, stay here.” I told her as I went to the closet to get Robyn’s pussy ass jacket.

Leaving it outside my door like she asked, I shrugged and closed it before going back in the kitchen. I hope somebody steals her shit.

A couple of seconds later, I got another text.

Robyn: this isn’t even mines wtf 🤦🏽‍♀️

Me: well u come fucking look for it then instead of sneaking around and shit like u doin now

Difficult ass was starting to piss me off. Let me just put my phone away.

“Aight I’m ba- I told you to wait.” I smacked my lips as I noticed Jayla eating some of the snores she had already made.

“You took long Bubba..” she shrugged as she pushed all the items my way, since she was done with hers. So much for spending time together..

After talking to Jayla about almost everything, I started to get her ready for bed. Once I sang to her, she was out like the light. Just in time, my pops text me.

Pops🤘🏽: where my pumpkin

Me: in its field

Pops🤘🏽: what

Me: sleep in my bed 😂 she’s safe pops damn.

Laughing to myself, I looked over at Jayla to see her sound asleep. Making my way towards the bathroom, I cut the shower on and stripped out of my clothes before stepping in.

I ain’t really wanna stay in too long so after 20 minutes I got out. I was trying to sleep harder than a baby.

Wrapping a towel around my waist as I got

out of the shower, I hummed to the music that was coming from my tv

Applying lotion all over my body, I followed up with some deodorant and replaced my towel with a pair of basketball shorts. Once I slid into some socks, I cut the light off and made my way into the kitchen. I was thirsty as shit.

I stopped at first because I had heard some shit, but maybe I was tripping. Jayla was asleep so I knew it wasn’t her.

Seeing a black shadow by the closet, i furrowed my eyebrows. I know I ain’t getting robbed.. “Yo what the fuck,” I spoke out as the person screamed and decked me right in the nose before I could even move a muscle.

I fell to the ground, groaning in pain as I held my nose.

The lights had cut on and there Robyn stood, standing over me with her hand over her mouth. I should’ve known it was her dumb ass.

“I’m sorry, you scared the sh-” she apologized but I started to question why she was even here in the first place without my permission. Who told her to just let herself in?

“Fuck was you in my closet for anyway?” I groaned, holding my now bleeding nose.

“You never gave me my jacket, so I came to get it myself and I didn’t think you’d be up.”

“You lucky you showed yourself because I was bout to Jody yo ass real talk.”

“I’m sorry..” she sighed as she took a wet napkin and tried to clean my nose but I backed away from her.

“Fuck no, stay yo heavy handed ass over there.” I put my hands up so she wouldn’t come near me. When I tell you this fucking girl Mayweathered my ass, I’m deadass.

“You want me to take you to the hospital?” She tried to touch my nose but I pushed her hand away.

“Where yo nigga?” I asked out of curiosity. Just last time she was putting up a front when I was trying to fuck with her. If she was with her nigga instead of here my damn nose wouldn’t be hurting.

“Really Jaylen?”

“Yea really.. why you over here and not wit him?” Her face twisted up.

“Boy I came to get my wallet and your big boogie man looking ass scared me which made me to punch you in the face and I felt bad but now I don’t since you wanna get a stank attitude about it. Move,” she spat as she grabbed her jacket pushed me to the side so I could get out of her way. I just wanted to squeeze her little ass head.

“Fuck you talking to like that?” I held my nose as I stood up. The last thing she did was flick me off before slamming my front door.

Fuck her.

#chrisbrown #cb #breezy #chris brown fanfic #teambreezy

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onghwangs · 7 years

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now i'm curious! who's your personal top 11 vs what you want the top 11 to be?

Wow okay…my personal top 11 is comprised of ppl I foundenjoyable to watch and have fun cheering for, I’m a sucker for dumb fools and hiddenstorylines so yeah.

But, man if they put this group together I would screambecause noooomg it would mostly be a comedy troupe than an idol group. theymight as well be called 10gagmen1straightman (10G1S)

(edited for guys in the top 59, in no particular order)

yoon jisung- I likedhim ever since ep 1. I think that most, if not all of the trainees were chatteringaway during the auditions but I find that he seems to not really censor hismouth. I think a lot of the trainees are very and tense image conscious (theyshould be due to mnet) and Jisung (and the other MMO guys) were more relaxed. He’s funny but not offensive funny…Iremember like when Daehwi was explaining his avengers team, Jisung was likeyeah, go ahead and eat up all the popular members, Dahewi and JKKSJDKSJKJKSTHAT MAN. He seems like a genuinely fun and nice person to be a round, judgingby how he seems close to both his label-mates and his 10/10 group-mates….anyways📢📢📢I LVOETHIS MAN AND THAT ANTI WHO DM’D HIM TO GET HIM IN TROUBLE CAN SRSLY FCUK OFF!!!📢📢📢

kim taemin - he was so cute in his intro vid but he was sonervous his voice was shaking so much lmao poor thing…. But im fucking….ifthere’s really a meme in this show, it’s taemin…everything they show of him, he’smaking a damn fool of himself. Him screaming in the hiddenbox thing, himfailing to do headstands, him dancing to nayana…yeah I lof the fool!! What reallymade me like him was him acting so surprised and happy when someone called hisname wayyyy back during the first nayana perf. Like….he seemed so amazed to have fans lmao what a gem. He’salso quite photogenic too.

Ong seongwu – THEBEST ALL ROUNDER IMO???????????? He��s a good singer ( hE WAS ONE OF THE 6TRAINEES THAT SANG PICK ME! WITHOUT HIM THERE WOULD BE NO NAYA NA), a great dancer, already has charisma and is hotwhile being complete dork? Amazing. I really adore him and his three moles and I’msuper worried for when the 1-pick voting comes because he doesn’t seem to havea lot of individual fans (someone prove me wrong pls)

Park Jihoon –yeah that wink got me shook. But yeah, srsly speaking, his wink did catch myeye but I thought he was going to be wayyyyyy to cute-ish for my tastes. I wassurprised by the way he carried himself (cute, but not too much, he seems to bevery calm too). I think he’s skilled butcan improve much more (esp his singing) so I look forward to his improvement!! @mnetI’m still waiting for his angry clip L I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I WOULD BUY ALL THELIPBALM HE NEEDS, JUST TELL ME WHAT BRAND U WANT BOY, I”LL GET U A SUPPLY SOBIG THEY’LL OFFER U AN ENDORSEMENT DEAL

Kim Yehyeon – He seemslike a really sweet guy and this story is what basically made me stan him (andgave him that 39+ rank rise) my boy is a fuckin saint he went to the emergencyroom because he was too overworked and he had to perform Be Mine will injured..T_T He did not almost die for no screentime and continuous repeats and zoom-insof ppl gulping….anyways he’s also dumb, you should support

Lee Junwoo – an actualbaby!!!!!!!! He caught my eye in episode 0 but I totally forgot who he wasuntil I saw his famous TATATA dance. What I liked about him was that he didn’t completelygive up after messing up and he kept on going hard @ the dance (he even made itto a C despite those mistakes!) he’s an awesome dancer and has good expressions!I really look forward to seeing his Shape of You stage (I think) I heard it wassupposed to be real good. I’m also screaming because he looks like a baby is ashuge as an elephant IRL 184CM HOOOLLLLLY

kim yongguk – I gotto know him because of that pann post and I support and adore him so much butnot as much as kim sihyun does!!!!! He’s a pretty nice vocalist and pretty goodsinger..but I think because baekho stole the entire stage, it’s hard to judgehis stage presence, I really do lookforward to seeing his stage and seeing him be more of a savage!

Ahn hyungseop – Ilove him, he’s such a textbook slyth, he even expressed disappointment ingetting a lower rank than before. I can see why ppl don’t like him (similar todaehwi) but I really do adore him and his quirky ways. While I think he’s agood performer, I do think he would be more a B-rank rather than A. I’m stillnot quite convinced of his singing just yet….

Joo Haknyeon – tbh,I feel like he was born to be an idol with a face like that, I think it has amore idol-ish feel than Jihoon’s. I find that he’s a really decent dancer too!I do wish he had a better audition song…like why’d u choose that song and b-boyto it omf. He seems to be a total sweetheart as well! Hanywayz…..i wanna seemore of his friendship with ong, they seem to be good friends as well Y_Y @mnetGIV EHIM MORE SCREENTIME.

Yoo Seonho – it’sa surprised to me how much I like him?? He’s so cute and harmless lmao. I can totallysee why he was casted, along with guanlin, and sent out despite being only trainees for 6 months. they will super popular in thefuture (if cube doesn’t fuck up). I’m not really expecting much from him, beinga 6 month trainee, but he did surprisingly ok in sorry sorry compared to hisexperience, I’m looking forward to seeing his next stage. He also seems to be agreat guy, judging by his fanaccs and activities.

Yeo Hwanung – he’sa great dancer and stable vocalist, why is he being slepton?????????????????????? He seems super sweet and patient with Justin too likegoing through the notes together…

Notable mentions: everyone else, I fucking love and support all of them!!!!!! I just find these 11 really interesting at the moment.

—

hennyways……here’s my top final 11 AKA B.O.I. …sorta. I thinkit’ll probably change after the next eps as people come to prove themselvesmore!! But this group, I’ll be pretty comfortable with them debuting and confident that they will be able to handle different concepts, all can carry their weight, etc. (in noparticular order)

Ong Sungwoo – HAHAHAHA iLL SERIOUSLY QUIT THIS GROUP IF ONGDOESN’T GET IN LIKE SRSLY HE’S GOT IT ALL I’m SO FUKCING SCARED OF HIS FUTURE THAT’SHOW MUCH I LOVE HIM???

Kang Daniel – He’s another well rounder. So he seems like areal sweet person but he ( along with Ong ) don’t really seem to take shit fromppl and I like that they speak there mind, though I want him to be careful ofhis actions as well LMAO. He’s also a fuckn miracle worker, my friend went fromdisliking him in ep2 to being a full stan by ep5 so I think he seems to be aperson that would keep fans engaged for a long time.

Park Jihoon – Yeah, I’m kinda being biased, but he’d doreal well as a stan attractor! He dancing is good and I feel like he’ll improveon his singing soon….okay enough…

Kim Jaehwan – holyyy shit his voice is sooo good. All theguys in sorry sorry team 2 were good, but the dude carried the vocals for histeam, lbr. Im sincerely hoping he pulls up into the final 11, the vocals would get a huge upgrade holy shit son.

Im Youngmin – alpacaaaaa aaaaaa!! He’s growing on me somuch and seems to be a very kind person, teaching the be mine moves foreveryone. I love that group so much, they seem genuinely close to each other !! His rapping is good and he seems to be quitecharismatic on stage

Kim Taedong – His jump from F to A holyyyy shit whattaman!!! His moves are sharp and he’s astable singer, I’m really liking what I’m seeing from him so far. I think he’s real idol material and he seems likea complete dork too, I loff!!!!!!

Yoon Heeseok, lmaoooo he’s also another living meme. He’san excellent singer, I really want him to work on his dancing a bit though but heseems to be improving quite nicely, from F-B. his shoulders are also killer.

Lee Daehwi – Another all-rounder. He doesn’t deserve thehate he gets, I honestly hope he makes it, he has the skills and personality tomake it into the idol world. He’s a sweet boy.

-(wildcards) x 3

lmao okay I cheated, it’s because I haven’t fully decidedyet….i still wanna see more perfs Lbut here are a list of guys I would love to see in the final line up as well.

Wildcards:

from my personal top 11: jisung, yongguk, hyungseob, hwanung,anyone that shows they’ve got what it takes/improves immensely

vocals: sewoon, hoeseung, woodam, gwanghyun(???), donghyun,dongsu, kiwon, keonhee, seonglee. youjin

rap: woo jinyoung, namhyung, big woojin

dance: hyunmin, eunki, kenta, samuel, kim donghan

nu’est, hotshot members: I’m reallllllllly conflicted inthis. In a perfect world, they don’t make it in the top 11 but their companiesgive them comebacks they need and the make it big and win awards and it’s the perfectcomeback story lmao…but I’ll still be happy with any of them in the line up aswell

wow i’m sorry i wrote too long jdksajd

#asks #anon #this is truly too long im sorry i shortened it lmao #im sorry for typos i'll come back and edit later #produce 101

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seouliloquy · 7 years

Text

Dribbling Workshop

Today some of my teammates and I attending a dribbling workshop with a pro-player from Japan (but is ethnically Korean). We played near Banpo Hangang park, and did a ton of dribbling exercises on the concrete with chalk circles drawn on the ground to follow.

It was alright, although a bit poorly organized. They filmed the entire time so the manager in charge (who wasn’t even properly dressed to seem super knowledgable in soccer but whatever) kept focusing on us constantly moving and making sure we do it right so it comes out well in the video...the assistants were very kind and helpful with encouraging us.

I definitely needed this kind of exercise, and my teammates as well. Dribbling and accurate passing, some of the most basic essentials of playing soccer, are ironically our team’s biggest weakness, especially with so many new members who’d prior to joining had never kicked a ball in their life. I wish more of our players had come, to be honest.

Some of them are pretty talented and pick things up quickly, can run fast, and have so far figured out positioning pretty well. They can be where they need to be to get the ball or block it, or put pressure on the offensive players. However they are still afraid of the ball hitting them, they can’t maintain control of the ball, and can’t make strong, direct quick passes to other players while moving, or kick the ball very far for that matter. I too need a lot of work in these areas, since i’m so out of shape and also barely ran on the field last year since i was playing keeper. Even when making body contact with another player, they are always apologizing, if they fall over, and then they lose possession of the ball. You gotta learn to be kind of selfish, and just play unless the referee calls it. If a person gets pushed over but there’s no whistle, you keep going. And if suddenly a few seconds later there is, because of delayed reaction or the person who fell didn’t get back up, then you can go back and apologize later!

anyways, the dribbling workshop was alright, and helpful at least despite the circumstances and poor organization. It was too cold to be outside running around near the windy river for 3 hours, and we didn’t even have a warm up or cool down or any stretching. I had to stop and do it myself because my legs were just so heavy and sore from the leg workout at the gym the other day and then practice last night.

speaking of yesterday’s practice, it was great! our new team captain was good at keeping us moving and active and had more structured drills planned. When it’s cold we can’t be standing around, and in previous practices a lot of time was wasted standing around, waiting, and trying to figure out what to do next or how to do an exercise. I’m definitely excited for this year because of it.

At the end of our practice, we joined with a men’s club team called 아축 and played with them for about half an hour. it was intense! The guys are just too fast, and of course way better at passing. So our newbies who were all placed in midfield and offensive positions did a lot of nothing and running around haphazardly because we played mostly defensively. Captain asked me to play centerback defense with her, and we had two wingbacks on the side. But the guys team had this offensive player that was like stuck to me...who was like 6 feet tall! he was huge...and his legs were probably the length of 2/3 of my body....so he would dart for the ball when it was passed past our defensive line and i chased after him like my life depended on it. I can safely say I got a good workout...

i checked my sports band, when we started the scrimmage i had 5000 steps, when we finished i had surpassed 10,000 steps.

So that, plus dribbling training today....my whole body is like NOPE.

I will sleep reallllllllly well (and probably early) tonight lol

#FC Elise #Soccer #Korea #life in Korea #hobbies #축구 #FC엘리제 #so sore #the DOMS are real

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cosmosogler · 7 years

Text

hi guys. today when i did the pokemon lottery i got the last three prizes in a row. kind of incredible considering they are all five-star lottery stalls and so usually pay out in the middle range with some high and low spots. i also got nothing in the haunted house treasure hunt thing. i’m not annoyed about it, just kind of baffled.

anyway i got up at a decent hour today! i had weird dreams about interacting with family again. i was at a “hospital” although really it was more of an amphitheater, and it took on that function a few minutes later anyway. i was with my family celebrating something but i was real sore from my gallbladder surgery so i didn’t really want to move around much. i didn’t take any painkillers last night so maybe the soreness just translated over.

at the end i guess i was tasked with tracking down a rogue a.i. in like a giant mall? i noticed it wasn’t really doing anything wrong besides acting shifty though. it was a complicated feeling. like, i knew things could easily go south real fast (especially with me physically out of commission), but i also wanted to trust the machine to do the right thing, but i knew that might not be very likely considering the way other people treated it. it was like a weird hope for the best and acceptance of the worst at the same time. i guess that’s pretty relevant to my life right now.

i got a haircut. just a trim. it does feel shorter. but i look like a dweeb with the stuff she put in my hair to make it lay straighter. dad and i brought home takeout chinese food for lunch. that made me... pretty sick, but not painfully i guess.

so after that i basically just waited around for mom to get home. mike squeezed eve in for an appointment today in the afternoon so mom was coming home early to take eve over to his office. since dad wouldn’t be able to drive her all the way out there and back and still have time to finish everything before work. i did some chores in the backyard with dad and my brother - basically just helped my brother with the patio furniture and picked up some stray dog toys laying around the yard. i didn’t do any heavy lifting or anything but i was still pretty sore and tired by the time mom got home.

i was happy i’d spent a little time giving eve a good rub-down again before we’d gone outside. she burned her feet a little bit on the driveway. i was glad to see she remembered to run straight to the shade of my brother’s car while we waited for mom to unlock her car doors. it’s been a while since she’s needed to do that. i remember when we had to emergency panic-teach her that one time we were hiking in sedona. taylor and i had to take off our socks and i think we used uma’s hair ties? to tie the socks to eve’s feet to give her a little cover. i’d sprint to the next patch of shade and call her over and she caught on that the shade didn’t burn real fast. then when we got to the creek eve jumped in before we could get the socks off. so taylor and i had muddy-red socks after that.

anyway we drove to mike’s office and i tried to bribe eve with the cookies they keep in the waiting room. she wasn’t having any of it though. we got her into one of the patient rooms and i sat with her while mike and his tech did a quick physical examination.

all things considered we got the best possible news. mike said she was in good health other than cancer leg, and he could fit her in for an amputation in a week. so that would give me a week to take care of her while she recovered before i move to florida. he reminded us that she could, of course, die for unrelated reasons (like a heart attack) at any time, but this would be the natural next step to take either way.

and eve finally ate the cookie when i offered it again. maybe because they didn’t try to take her temperature or update her vaccines or clip her nails. and she wasn’t trembling which is a big accomplishment for her!

when we were trying to get eve out of the car and into the office she got stuck between the backseat and the chair of the front seat. her leg was at a weird angle and she couldn’t move it or bend it enough to get it off the seat. so i shoved the front seat forward as far as i could to get her un-wedged.

when we got back in the car the first thing eve did was get behind the front seat on the floor and curl right up there. so i couldn’t move the seat back. so i spent the whole car ride home with my knees smashed against the glove box. mom and i discussed the pros and cons of not having an exit to our neighborhood southbound on the freeway. you have to pass our house, drive two miles down to the first exit, turn around and get back on the freeway, drive past our house again, then get on the exit and get on the frontage road and drive past our house again, and then get on the neighborhood road and get to the house. well, there’s a few ways to get through the neighborhood, but they’re all kinda slow.

it adds more than five minutes to any trip where we’re coming in from the north considering the lights on the first exit are the two worst in the city.

one is never green, and then as soon as you can cross the bridge to get back on the freeway the green arrow turns red by the time you reach the light. so you get to DOUBLE WAIT.

anyway after that i gave all the dogs a cookie. and then i wasted the rest of my evening on youtube and junk. honestly i was wiped. knowing there’s something we can do for eve... it felt like i’d been holding a big ball of energy for the last full day and when mike gave a definite recommendation it just kind of escaped and i was dead tired.

i made myself dinner but it wasn’t very good and it also made me feel pretty sick and sore. i’m still reallllllllly stiff all down my chest and side. trying to wear a bra while out in public made everything 861 times worse.

ah dang, i forgot to ask mom or dad to take me to the pharmacy. i think i’ve only got one pill left on my current prescription. the pharmacy’s got a refill ready but i still can’t drive. technically i’m not supposed to drive or lift anything “heavy” (more than 15-ish pounds) until i do the follow-up with the surgeon, but i think at a minimum i should wait ten days. usually follow-ups happen within ten days but my surgeon just went on vacation so i don’t see her for another week and a half.

prescription as in my normal pills. not the painkillers. those don’t have a refill. i’m hoping sleeping will be a little easier tonight now that i’ve gotten through a full night without taking any.

i wouldn’t write about it so much here but interacting with mother has kind of shot my confidence so i am confirming to myself that i am using my prescribed medicine responsibly and as directed.

interacting with dad... he said a lot of really hurtful things that play real easy into insecurities i have about interacting with other people. i feel like nothing he’s said after that, even after three weeks, has been as important or worth remembering.

i dunno. hearing “you don’t care about anyone but yourself” periodically over the years kinda makes you feel bad i guess? if you care about things like that. or if you’re insecure and worry about coming across as selfish and you do care about other people but you’re not very physically affectionate so they think you’re lying. hearing that kind of thing yelled in your face kind of bums you out. my other favorite is “you’re so egotistical, you think you’re too good to interact with anyone.” that’s stuck with me for a long time. i guess it’s been like 9 years now since i got that one dumped on me.

bullying doesn’t just come from classmates and your parents. other people’s parents and school administration like to get in on the action too sometimes.

boy do i just love being told what i think. “you’re not really sorry” is another Greatest Hit.

dad said more than one hurtful thing. i only gave one example here. thinking about what he said, thinking about what my parents must think about me to say things like that, makes me feel honestly kinda sick. it puts all the yelling politics sessions and car lectures in a new light. i used to think they would cast me as the “other side” in an argument because they genuinely thought i always disagreed with them forever. i told myself that was silly, they were probably just getting worked up as they thought more about whatever they were yelling at me about.

but now? i think, at least dad, does genuinely think i’m one of those “filthy idiot liberals.”

and i mean... i guess he’s right, sort of. not always. but i never told him anything about what i thought. i worry about what made him assume it was ok to decide i was his antagonist in this “argument” (lecture, yelling session) and what made him assume what my opinion on any topic was when i have never, ever told him what those actual opinions are.

like, i don’t even barely tell my FRIENDS what my political opinions are unless i am completely comfortable. what in god’s name let him know what those opinions were? does my body language give THAT much insight into my thought process? do i just look like a smug asshole all the time or something?

asher said i just look anxious and tired all the time. i don’t know how anxious and tired translates to punchably condescending, but i guess, you can see a lot of whatever you want to see if you believe in it hard enough.

i’m up late... it’s weird how these comments turn into time bombs. like i think about it even when i don’t think i’m thinking about it and then suddenly i have emotions about it? it makes it REALLY hard to figure out what’s bothering me so much i can’t work all the time. is it really just because i feel too sick to eat and that makes me tired? or is there another reason stacking on it that’s making it just too hard to work through? something half-forgotten that i don’t know how to deal with but it’s decided to cause problems anyway? why do subconscious fears make me look (and feel) really lazy all the time? what even is lethargy.

it’s disheartening to run into boundaries... the physical boundaries of your body, i mean. like i used to think i had an endless well of determination and grit that could get me through any rough situation. even though i was literally crying and angry all the time as a kid? i guess i just figured if i needed the mental/emotional energy, the motivation, i would just look into myself and find it there somewhere.

but going to college all these years, feeling suicidal some of the time, experiencing my joints locking up just from fear... that motivation isn’t actually there. it’s not hiding under any of the stones i’ve overturned at least. i can’t just keep going and going forever. i can’t just say “i won’t give up!” and then actually not give up. i don’t got the gila monster death grip.

unless... i do, and i’m just too lazy to find it? why can’t i just try harder?? is this the kind of limit that’s all in my head and my *Attitude* will make everything better? because so far when i do that, when i keep going even though my body and brain say stop, my body breaks.

mom always said i had no pain tolerance. then she found out my pain tolerance is incredible and it was just that no one believed me when i said i had severe chest pains.

then after my heart surgery was over and done with, and i still had trouble exercising, my mom attributed it to “no pain tolerance” because i was “scared that any pain is bad now that something was wrong once.”

so i guess no matter what i have no pain tolerance? i dunno.

um... i guess... the reason i put so much stock in what other people say about me, what they say about what i’m thinking or what i’m like, is because i can’t tell what i look like. i don’t have an outside perspective on myself. i depend on feedback from other people to adjust my behavior or whatever. so when i’m told or i realize that i can’t trust the feedback i’m getting from mom, or dad, or the principal, or craig or whoever, i start feeling like there’s no way i’m ever gonna figure out who i am to other people. and if i don’t know who i am to other people, how am i gonna figure out anything about myself? i need other people to tell me what i am doing so i have a name for it. my perspective is pretty bunk and ain’t very reliable.

that’s probably unhealthy too. but my reality seems to be so dramatically different from other people’s realities that i need to figure out where the overlap is. how i can change myself to act more like the things i want to act like. when i ask “am i kind?” i usually get “not kind ENOUGH.” “am i trying?” “not trying hard ENOUGH.”

i mean how am i supposed to know what i’m REALLY doing? i don’t want to have delusions about myself. i can’t have only my opinion. my opinion sucks and i hate hearing it all the time. without anyone else’s input my head turns into a hellish echo chamber and i can’t figure out how reality works any more.

i wasn’t thinking about that today, not a lot, not more than normal at least. i’m mostly just relieved that there’s something i can do for eve. i’ve never had something i can do to actively make my dog’s life better at the end of their life. bernie had alzheimer’s, or the dog equivalent. she just forgot everything. and when she stopped recognizing me and my sister, and tried to bite us, mom euthanized her basically immediately. we put a lot of time and effort into keeping randi healthy when she had cancer but even after the money we spent and stuff she died on the floor. that was mom’s biggest worry about eve. that the money she spent wouldn’t matter. jake got bloat really suddenly and like two hours later he was dead. there was just... nothing i could do in those situations. but eve might get to live for a few more months. maybe i could see her at christmas. it’s a possibility. i’m afraid to get my hopes up, but knowing the option is there...

so, i guess, i’m sad about my life. but i’m happy about eve’s. and... i’m glad i will be able to help her for that first week. even though it makes me exhausted i’m happy i don’t HAVE to think about death for another short while yet.

#tw suicide #animal death #i just talk about it no bad news actually #were both ok for now

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