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cosplaydude637 · 3 years

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Chapter 10: Knowledge and new friends

Hours later the group of Parabatai returned to the institute, their heads hanging low. Izzy was running up to them as they walked in but draw up short as she sees them. Running up next to her came Xander and Ruthie. Seeing their face they all went ghost white.

“What happened?” Ruthie asked?

“We failed…” Angelique sighs. Jace and Mekyle punch the wall they were each standing next to. This made Clary jump a little. Alec walked over and placed his hand on Jace’s shoulder.

“Hurting yourself is not going to do us any good. We need to find the Prince of hell and send him back,” Alec says.

“Or kill him!” Simon snaps

“We will make this right. We are Shadowhunters,” Izzy says, offering them all a warm smile.

“Plus we got a leg up on Sinara now,” Ruthie says with a bright smile.

Jace worlds around and glares at her. This makes Ruthie cringe back, losing her smiles. “A leg up! A leg up! How the hell is letting a prince of hell free into our world a Damn leg up newbie!”

Xander steps in front of Ruthie and right into Jace’s face. “I respect that you're our institute head and I know you could most likely kill me six ways from Sunday but I won’t let any member of my squad be talked to like that!”

Jace’s face goes red and he balls up his fist and starts to swing at the young Shadowhunter when faster than anyone could blink Alec has grabbed Jace by the arms and was halling him back. Jace was fighting Alec the whole way. Xander however did not move from in front of his teammate.

Clary quickly got into Jace’s face and glared at him. “Jace knock it off. They were not there they don’t know what happened plus let’s see what this leg up Ruthie is talking about really is.”

Jace goes limp in Alec’s arms, his face Softening. Clary turns and looks at Xander and Ruthie. “Ok guys, what is this leg up you are talking about?”

Ruthie gives out a little squeak and steps out from behind Xander. “Is he going to yell at me again?”

“No honey it’s ok now,” Clary says with a soft voice.

“We have one of the gatekeeper here.” Ruthie slowly replied.

“What?” Simon spoke up and moved in front of Jace, Alec, and Clary.

“We made a trip to the Shadow Market and Learned. That an old friend of mine is one of the gatekeepers.” Izzy explained.

“You know a really old Shadowhunter?” Mekyle asks, raising an eyebrow.

“No, she is a downworlder.” She replays

“Huh,” the group of Parabatai all looked very dumbfounded.

Izzy leads them to the infirmary with Xander and Ruthie at each side of her. Cassandra was laying in one of the beds, her right arm was wrapped in bandages. She slowly set up her eyes flicking yellow like a dog.

“Guys this is Cassandra Willows she is a warlock,” Izzy says and points to Cass.

“Sup guys great place you got here,” Cass says with a cheerful voice. Ruthie walks over and looks at the bandages and shakes her head and starts unwrapping the bandages and points to Xander then to the cabinet that has the clean new bandages. “Sorry, Doc the wound started itching.”

“You're healing fast and all but I want you to keep this clean and wrapped,” Ruthie orders her as Xander hands her the new bandages. Ruthie starts wrapping Cass’s arm again.

“Push little thing ant she?” Cass says with a giggle.

“You have no idea.” Xander, Mekyle and Angelique say in unison.

Alec walks over to Cass and puts his hand out. “Hello, Cassandra, I am Alec Bane-Lightwood, Console of the Clave.” Cass blinked and shocked his hand with a look of duda I know who you are. “We understand you are one of the Gatekeepers. What gate do you look over and where is it?”

This made Cass go white and her eyes darted around the room mental mapping a way out of the room. Right as she was about to throw the blanket off and head for the exit. Xander lad a hand on her shoulder and smiles at her.

“Trust us Cass, we want to keep all the Gates safe.” He says and ameetly Cass softens and looks back at Alec.

“I guard over the gate of Gluttony.” Cass answers but was cut off by Simon before she could finish

“The Gate of what?” Simon asks

“The Gate of Gluttony you know like the sin,” Cass states coldly looking at Simon. “You do know what the 9 circles of hell are, don’t you?” Everyone turns to Simon and he just stands there looking confused.

“You mean like the Anime?” He asks.

“No you nerd the Book!” Jace snaps.

“It’s the same thing,” Simon mutters.

“The gate here in New York is Limbo. Seeing as New York was the place where other countries came to the U.S. Hersheypark of Pennsylvania sits the Gate of Gluttony.” Cass says, laying one of her hands on top of Xander’s.

“Why there?” Angelique asks

“Most sites of the gates have some ties to what gate is belt there. Gluttony is simple with a theme park.” Cass answers, trying to sit up on the side of the bad. Xander held his hand out to her and she smiled and blushed, taking his hand. “I will take you to the gate. If this Sinara wants to open my gate she has got one hell of a fight on her hands.”

“We can’t all go,” Alec says

“And why not?” Izzy asks.

“We need to keep A group of Shadowhunters here so that New York stays safe” Alec explains

“He is right, we can’t leave New York unprotected,” Clary adds.

As the group tried to decide who was going and who was staying. A ring from the Institute doorbell came. Jace, Alec, Clary, and Angelique break away to go answer the door. Standing at the door when Jace opened it was Bat the local werewolf clans secant in command. Alec gave him a very odd look. “Bat what are you doing here?”

“Is Maia here?” He barks out.

“Huh?” Jace says

“Are all you Shadowhunter stuped or death? Where is Maia” Bat snaps out his eyes glowing yellow.

“Stand down Lykin. Don’t make me put you down!” Jace yells out moving into Bat’s personal space.

“Like to see you try. No one to stop me this time blondy.” Bat growls low in his through.

Before Alec could move in between the two men Angelique was already there pushing them apart. In a very Com and even voice, she speaks to them “ok guys this is not the time and remember we are at peace here. Bat, Maia is not here, she has not been here. Jace, he is only worried about this alpha.”

Bat looks down at the small hand that was on his chest pushing him away from Jace and he starts to chuckle. “Your one brave little girl.”

“She is right though. Bat you have not heard from Maia?” Alec asks.

Bat steps away and ruffles Angelique’s hair. “No she was sent to meet with you and the other members of the Alliance and she never came back.”

“That was weeks ago,” Alec says in shock and a tinge of panic in his voice.

“I know after a few days I thought it was odd but it’s Maia and she does as she wants. After all, she is the Alpha. But after a week it’s not normal.” Bat explains.

“We need to look into this.” Angelique states.

“Ok, I want you to put together a team and look into this Angelique.” Alec orders.

“Me?!?!?” Angelique shouts.

“Yes you, I need to stay here and deal with clave business and the rest will be going with Cass,” Alec says.

“Xander should lead then,” Angelique says.

“There is no way he is not going to go with Cass,” Clay says.

“Oh, you got that too.” Jace chimes in clary smiles and nods.

“This is your mission Angelique as order by your Console.” Alec orders again. This time Angelique just nods. Bat looks at Alec and Angelique. “Bat return to the pack and Angelique will come to you with her team,” Alec adds.

“Ok see you soon Shadowhunter,” Bat says and bonds down the steers.

All the Shadowhunters and Magnus, who had portaled to the institute a few minutes ago now sit around a huge round table in the war room. Alec leads the meeting deciding who is going on what mission and agreeing with the Shadowhunters Angelique picked to take on hers.

Angelique chose Mekyle and Ruthie for her mission Simon and Izzy were picked by Alec to back them up. This leaves Jace, Clary, Xander, and Cass going to the gate.

“We have one more idam we need to deal with,” Alec announces.

“We do?” Simon asks puzzled.

“Yes the names of are Young Shadowhunters,”

“Oh yes, the last name ceremony.” Magnus snickers. Alec shouts him a living eye roll.

“Anyway Xander, Angelique and Mekyle have you chosen your Shadowhunter name?”

Xander stands up. “I have out of respect and honor for my Headmaster and her amazing Daughter. I like to become a Fairchild.” He looks over at Clary and she gives him a small nod.

Alec smiles seeing this. “So be it, welcome Xander Fairchild.” Xander smiles and sits back down. “Angelique, Mekyle, have you?”

“Yes I would like Waterheart.” Angelique says standing up. Mekyle jumps up next to her.

“This was not an easy choice for me but if you would allow. I like to be Mekyle WolfScar.”

Alec gives them a soft smile. “Welcome Angelique WaterHeart and Mekyle WolfScar.”

With the teams assigned they split up and head off to get what gear that they would need and even a little sleep if they could before heading off. This gave the couples some time to be alone leaving the Newbies and Cass to find something to pass their time with if they don’t want to sleep.

Angelique and Ruthie decided they would sleep in the same room for the night so they could talk about the mission and some boys they liked back at the academy. Mekyle was not going to sleep at all so he headed up to the Training Room to punch the bag a little and work on his dagger throws. This left Xander alone with Cass.

Xander leads Cass to the common room where the TV was playing Ghosthunters on the Discovery channel. “I know now that I am a Shadowhunter. I have been rewatching them and the Taps crow came really close a few times to finding a real ghost. I wonder if one of them is related to the Herondales?” Xander says.

“I am a bit shocked to see a TV at all in an Institute,” Cass replies.

“Ya most are still old-fashioned but Clary and Simon need their Anime, is what i got told,” Xander explained.

“Oh man, I love me some Death Note.” Cass giggled.

“You have the cutest laugh, Hold on did you say you like Death Note,” Xander says looking a little flushed. Cass just smiles and winks at him as Xander turns a bright red.

#shadowhunters #shadow world #jace herondale #clary fairchild #clary x jace #alec lightwood #magnus bane #alec x magnus #izzy lightwood #simon lovelace #simon x izzy #epic #cool #cosplaydude637

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bobasheebaby · 4 years

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Grey’s Anatomy Prompts

I’m going a tad stir crazy, so I decided to make a prompt list of 80 Grey’s quotes I love. This may have been done before but I don’t care. It’s mostly angsty prompts and it’s long as hell. (Break at 15)

1 “When I met you, I thought I had found the person that I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I was done. So all the boys, and all the bars, and all the obvious daddy issues, who cared? Because I was done. You left me. You chose Addison. I’m all glued back together now. I make no apologies for how I chose to repair what you broke.” —Meredith Grey

2 “Don’t let what he wants eclipse what you need. He’s very dreamy, but he is not the sun—you are.” —Cristina Yang

3 “Your choice, it’s simple: her or me? And I’m sure she’s really great. But I love you. In a really, really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me, choose me, love me.” —Meredith Grey

4 “If you love someone, you tell them. Even if you’re scared that it’s not the right thing. Even if you’re scared that it’ll cause problems. Even if you’re scared that it will burn your life to the ground, you say it, and you say it loud and you go from there.” —Mark Sloan

5 “It always feels like there is just one person in this world to love. And then you find somebody else, and it just seems crazy that you were ever worried in the first place.” —Lexie Grey

6 “Don’t let fear keep you quiet. You have a voice, so use it. Speak up. Raise your hands. Shout your answers. Make yourself heard. Whatever it takes, just find your voice, and when you do, fill the damn silence.” —Meredith Grey

7 “Not everyone has to be happy all the time. That isn’t metal health. That’s crap.” —Meredith Grey

8 “Breakthroughs don’t happen because of the medicine. Real breakthroughs happen because someone is scared to death to stop trying.” —Derek Shepherd

9 “We don’t get unlimited chances to have the things that we want, and this I know. Nothing is worse than missing an opportunity that could have changed your life.” —Addison Montgomery

10 “And if you can't do it, if you aren't willing to keep looking for light in the darkest of places without stopping, even when it seems impossible, you will never succeed.” —Amelia Shepard

11 “Oh screw beautiful! I’m brilliant! If you want to appease me, compliment my brain.” — Christina Yang

12 “You were like coming up for fresh air. It's like I was drowning and you saved me.” — Derek Shepard

13 “The only time I don't feel like a ghost is when you look at me, because when you look at me, you see me. You see me. This is me.” — Owen Hunt

14 “It's good to be scared. It means you still have something to lose.” — Richard Webber

15 “You are my person. You will always be my person.” — Christina Yang

16 “It doesn't matter how tough we are. Trauma always leaves a scar. It follows us home, it changes our lives. Trauma messes everybody up. But maybe that's the point. All the pain and the fear and the crap. Maybe going through all that is what keeps us moving forward. It's what pushes us. Maybe we have to get a little messed up, before we can step up.” — Alex Karev

17 “Please, don't chase me anymore, unless you're ready to catch me.” — Callie Torres

18 “Change … we don’t like it, we fear it. But we can’t stop it from coming. We either adapt to change, or we get left behind. It hurts to grow. Anybody who tells you it doesn’t, is lying. But here’s the truth: Sometimes, the more things change, the more they stay the same. And sometimes, oh, sometimes, change is good. Sometimes, change is … everything.” — Meredith Grey

19 “Intimacy is a four letter syllable for- here’s my heart and soul, please grind them into a hamburger and enjoy. It’s both desired and feared. Difficult to live with, impossible to live without” -Meredith Grey

20 “You can have the worst crap in the world happen to you and you can get over it. All you gotta do is survive.” -Alex Karev

21 Walk tall. All you can do is be brave enough to get out there. You fought. You loved. You Lost. Walk tall.” -Mark Sloan

22 "Just because people do horrible things, it doesn't always mean they're horrible people."-Izzie Stevens

23 "I am woman. Hear me roar." - Miranda Bailey

24 "I love everything about you. Even the things I don't like, I love. And I want you with me. I love you and I think you love me too. Do you?" -Jackson Avery

25 “If you want crappy things to stop happening to you, stop accepting crap and demand something more.” -Cristina Yang

26 “You didn't love her! You just didn't want to be alone. Or maybe, maybe she was good for your ego. Or, or maybe she made you feel better about your miserable life, but you didn't love her, because you don't destroy the person that you love!” - Callie Torres

27 I am not an ugly duckling. I'm a swan."-April Kepner

28 “Okay, here it is, your choice... it's simple, her or me, and I'm sure she is really great. But Derek, I love you, in a really, really big 'pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window', unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me, choose me, love me.” - Meredith Grey

29 “I’ve had to give up things but what I’ve learned is that I don’t need much. I don’t need much to be happy.” -Arizona Robbins

30 “I need the day off. For drinking.” -Addison Montgomery

31 "It turns out sometimes you have to do the wrong thing. Sometimes you have to make a big mistake to figure out how to make things right. Mistakes are painful, but they're the only way to find out who we really are." -Denny Duquette

32 “In the beginning everyone is there, but then they forget.” - Amelia Shepherd

33 "Knowing is better than wondering. Waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beats the hell out of never trying." -Meredith Grey

34 “You have to go back to the beginning to understand the end.” -Teddy Altman

35 “Yeah we’re friends…I mean right now I’d probably say you’re one of my best friends.”-George O’Malley

36 “I’m just gonna feel bad that I made it so you can never love again” -Jo Wilson

37 "The future is the home of our deepest fears and our wildest hopes." -Owen Hunt

38 “There’s a land called passive agressiva, and you’re their queen” -Derek Shepherd

39 “Let’s play a game of whose life sucks the most. I’ll win. I always win.” -Meredith Grey

40 “I take things personally. I get emotional.” -Lexie Grey

41 “Stop looking at my like that. Like you’ve seen me naked” -Meredith Grey

42 “Pretty good is not good enough, I want to be great.” -Cristina Yang

43 "Don't let fear keep you quiet. You have a voice so use it. Speak up. Raise your hands. Shout your answers. Make yourself heard. Whatever it takes, just find your voice, and when you do, fill the damn silence." - Meredith Grey

44 “Let’s just make-out on the couch.” -Nathan Riggs

45 "Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know; maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop." -Meredith Grey

46 “Deal with your jealousy. Deal with your shortcomings. Don’t put your crap on me.” -Stephanie Edwards

47 "I know I'm not a lot of things that you've gone for in the past - I know, but I would never leave you. I would never hurt you. And I will never stop loving you.." -George O’Malley

48 “Sometimes you have to be a shark.” -Lucy Fields

49 “Don’t look at me like that. Like I’m damaged goods. I’m still me. I’m still here.” -Adele Webber

50 "More tequila. More love. More anything. More is better." -Meredith Grey

51 "More tequila. More love. More anything. More is better." -Meredith Grey

52 "For a kiss to be really good, you want it to mean something. You want it to be with someone you can't get out of your head, so that when your lips finally touch you feel it everywhere. A kiss so hot and so deep you never want to come up for air. You can't cheat your first kiss. Trust me, you don't want to. Cause when you find that right person for a first kiss, it's everything." -Alex Karev

53 "You can't be an ass to me all day and then expect me to give you respect." - Lexie Grey

54 “Some days, the whole world seems upside down. And then somehow, and probably, when you least expect it, the world gets right again.” -Meredith Grey

55 “Shut up. Dance it out.” -Cristina Yang

56 “We may only be together five minutes every two months, but when we do we will savor every second. We know how valuable those five minutes are.” -Ben Warren

57 “There comes a point when you have to suck it up and stop whining and start living” -Callie Torres

58 “Please don’t give up on me. Promise. Promise me you won’t.” -Arizona Robbins

59 “Bad things happen, but you have to move past it. Leave it behind. The sooner, the better. Or it’ll eat away at you and stop you from moving forward.” -Miranda Bailey

60 “This is the way the world changes. Good people, raising babies right” -Catherine Avery

61 “The problem is we are human. We want more than to just survive. We want to love.” -Lexie Grey

62 "There's a club. The Dead Dads/Moms/Parents Club. And you can't be in it until you're in it. You can try to understand, you can sympathize. But until you feel that loss... My dad/mom/parent’s died when I was AGE. NAME, I'm really sorry you had to join the club." -Cristina Yang

63 “I’m going to die because these people aren’t properly trained” -Derek Shepherd

64 “I believe if you were dead, the world would be a better place” -George O’Malley

65 “You think you broke me, NAME? You’re the one who put me back together.” -Mark Sloan

66 “I want so much for you. For both of us. So much more than this. More than being stuck with someone who feels stuck. I want you to feel free.” -Callie Torres

67 “Every kiss before the right kiss doesn’t count anyway” -Derek Shepherd

68 “The expected is what keeps us steady. It’s the unexpected that changes our lives forever.” -Meredith Grey

69 “Promise that you’ll love me, even when you hate me.” -Meredith Grey

70 "The problem is, fairytales don't come true. It's the nightmares that always seem to become the reality." -Meredith Grey

71 “How are you fine? How are you just completely fine? I am ruined, okay? I am dead, I am wrecked." -Cristina Yang

72 “I didn’t like teenage girls when I was a teenage girl.” -Cristina Yang

73 “So you fight. Until you can’t fight anymore.” -Amelia Shepherd

74 “Don’t analyze everything. Just do it.” -Alex Karev

75 “Some lies aren’t lies. They’re love.” -Meredith Grey

76 “That’s where love exists, in delusional fantasies.” -Meredith Grey

77 "Friends are the family we choose." -Meredith Grey

78 "Don't ever date a man who can't handle your power." - Meredith Grey

79 "It’s not hard. It’s painful but it’s not hard. You know what to do already. If you didn’t you wouldn’t be in this much pain." —Miranda Bailey

80 “You’re my heaven. But maybe ... maybe I’m your hell.” — Denny Dequette

#grey’s anatomy prompts #grey’s anatomy quotes #dialogue prompts #writing prompts #meredith grey #derek shepherd #callie torres #mark sloan #christina yang #lexie grey #miranda bailey #richard webber #denny dequette #george o'malley #alex karev #long post

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pixie88 · 3 years

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Meeting the Parents pt 2

Chapter 12 - Always the Bridesmaid.

A/N: I’m on fire with these ATB chapters once I got to 5 in my drafts I thought I better release one! I hope you like it.

If you would like to be ADDED or REMOVED just let me know!

Read previous chapters HERE!

Warnings: Fluff & Light Angst

Word Count: 1832

Pairings: Laila x Harry

Enjoy!

"Is he mine?!" she seems a bit taken aback by his question, she wasn't expecting to see him again.

He asks again "Is he my son?" it's almost a hiss.

"No! No, he's not" she understands why he would think he is considering the timescale "I did a DNA test when he was born, he's Anthony's"

Harry is relieved, "You're one hundred percent?" she nods "I can show you the results if you would like?" she doesn't wait for his reply she rushes off, moments later she hands him a bit of paper.

It reads at the bottom -

Alleged FATHER - ANTHONY KENNEDY

Probability of Paternity: 99.99999%

Harry feels like he can finally breathe again, he hands her back the piece of paper "Thank you and sorry I just had to know," she offers him a weak smile, "It's OK, I understand why you would think he was yours. Again, I'm sorry about what happened to us in the past and I'm glad you have moved on she seems lovely!"

His thoughts go to Laila "She is to be honest with you, she's probably the best thing that has ever happened to me" her face sours, but quickly changes as she hears her son cry "I'm coming Jasper" she turns back to Harry "Sorry, I have to go. Harry take care!" he smiles "You too"

He makes his way down the path, pulls out his phone and dials Laila's number. It rings a few times before she answers.

"Hey Harry..." He cuts her off, so she doesn't get the rest of her words out.

"He's not mine!" she lets out a breath"How do you feel about that?"

He chuckles "Relieved, Laila the thought of being tied to her because of a child...I couldn't think of anything worse. I thought I might have wanted him to be mine for a few moments but as soon as I knew he wasn't mine, I realised I didn't really want it at all"

"Well, I'm happy for you and at least that's cleared up now. You can move on from it" He can tell she's secretly relieved to as much as she tries to pretend she was OK with it.

"I'm on my way back to yours so make sure you're ready, we'll leave for my parents when I get back"

"OK, I'm nearly ready. Harry, I'm so nervous," he chuckles "No need to be! You've met my mum, one of my brothers and my sister...my dad you just need to take everything he says with a pinch of salt. He's hard on everyone until they get to know him"

"Great....anyway. I'll see you in a bit, I love you" He laughs "See you soon! I love you too"

Later they arrive at his parents house, Harry lets himself in with his fingers entwined. Laila's heart is racing with nerves, "Mum, Dad?" he calls out "Harry! We're out the back" They make their way through the house towards garden "Laila! How are you?" Rose welcomes her with open arms.

Harry puts him down and pulls Laila over to the table "Arthur and Izzy you've already met Laila, but Dad, Brad, Will, Sophie, Claire and Ruby this is my girlfriend Laila, Laila this is my Dad Colin, and my brothers Will and Brad and their wives Ruby, Sophie and Claire" His brothers and their wives offer her a warm welcome but Colin doesn't even look up at her.

"Hi, Rose! It's nice to see you again!" Laila smiles at her, she notices the rest of the family round a table "Uncle Harry!!" a little boy runs over colliding with him, Harry picks him up "Hey Cohen! This is my girlfriend Laila!" Cohen looks over to her "She's pretty" Laila smirks "Thank you! You are adorable!" Cohen smiles.

Take everything with a pinch of salt! She thought, "I knew something was going on with you two! I saw the way he looked at you at the sky gardens!" Izzy winks at her, they take a seat Harry doesn't let go of her hand.

"We were in the early stages of dating at time" Laila smiles at her. She hears Colin sniggers, but she chooses to ignore it when she feels Harry give her hand a tiny squeeze.

A little while later dinner is served "Laila, are you left handed?" Colin asks "Erm..no, no I'm not," she smiles at him "So, why are you holding your knife and fork like a left handed person? It's a bit ill mannered?" he hisses. "Sorry, I always have used them this way..." he cuts her off "What do you do for a living?"

"Oh, I'm a hairdresser" he sniggers again "So not a doctor then..what a shame!"

"Dad!" Harry hisses at him "Harry, it's fine!" she smiles softly at him. Pinch of salt! She thought.

"And your parents?" Colin asks "My parents? Well, they own a pub" Colin laughs "Of course they do! Talk about lower class and cliché"

This comment makes her blood boil she jumps out of her seat, throwing down her cutlery "Say what you want about me, but don't you dare talk about my family!" She says pointing her finger at him "My parents are worth 10 of you!! You are nothing, but a miserable, snobby, rude old git! I will not sit here like everyone else and let you get away with talking to me or about my family like that!" she storms off through the house and out the front door.

Harry chases her calling after her "Laila! Wait!" He catches up to her, gently grasping her arm, making her turn "Laila, I'm sorry I should have spoken up...I should've never let him speak to you like that. It's just that's the way he is. I know that's no excuse"

"I get it..he's your dad, we make allowance for family. I shouldn't have say anything" Harry chuckles "No! I'm glad you did..That is what I love most about you. You don't take crap from anyone, you speak your mind and no one has to second guess where they are with you"

Behind Harry, Laila spot Colin stands in the doorway. Harry eyes follow in her direction "Harry, if he's here for round 2, I swear to god I will not be responsible for my actions" Harry chuckles "As much as I would love for you to deck him..." she cuts him off "Don't you think I can take the old man?" she asks.

He laughs "I have no doubt that you can take the old man! But let's just hear what he has to say? I promise I will step in if he's out of line again," she rolls her eyes "Fine" Harry takes her hand and they make their way over to him "Let me just warn you, you dare speak to her like you did in there so help me god" Colin can see his son will not stand by and let it happen again.

"First can I say Laila, I'm a protective old fool, I just don't want him hurt like last time. You were right in there, when you called me a miserable, rude old git. No one has ever pulled me up on how I speak to people and for that I respect you"

"You forgot snobby!" Laila hissed, Colin laughs at her "I also forgot to say sorry which I truly am sorry and if you will allow it can we start again?"

"OK, I'm also sorry for what I called you" Colin laughs "You have nothing to apologize for everything you said in there was spot on. Now let's go back inside"

They follow Colin back to the garden as they walk in his brothers clap "Keep hold of this one Harry! We like her!" Will laughs "Don't worry I intend to!" he winks at Laila.

Later, Harry is playing football with the kids Cohen, Ethan, Bobby and Lara while Laila is colouring with Mila "Do you love my Uncle Harry?" Mila looks up at her "I do" Mila smiles "He loves you too. Are you going to marry him?" Laila smirks she loves how kids are so blunt "Maybe one day"

"Maybe one day?" she hears him asks over her shoulder. Great! She thought. "I asked Laila will she marry you. She said maybe one day!" Mila giggle, Laila blushes as Harry takes a sit down next to her "You're all sweaty!" Laila wipes his brow "Yeah, those 4 have been ganging up on me. 4 against 1 can you guess who won!" Laila laughs at him.

"Not you?" she winks "Got that right!" Harry grabs Laila's hand as she's colouring making her go out of the lines "Harry!! Look what you made me do!" he chuckles at her and does it again "Harry! Stop it!" she hisses "Or what?" he asks.

She takes the felt tip pen and draws on his face "Laila!" she smirks, Mila giggles "What? I'm colouring out of the lines like you wanted me to," he smirks as he shook his head, "You are so going to regret that!" he's quick, he takes a red felt tip pen off the blanket they are sitting on and aims for her face, but she dodges it. He goes in again she falls back against the blanket, Harry grasps her hands pinning them, so she can't stop him. She's laughing "Harry, don't you dare!"

Moving towards her face with the pen between his teeth as his hands pin down hers, she's laughing "Harry" as he gets closer Mila pulls the pen from his mouth and uses it on him "Argh! Mila, you're suppose to be on my team!" he lets go of Laila, Mila gets up and makes a run for it. Harry is about to chase after her, but Laila grabs his ankle making him fall to the ground.

She gets up and makes a run for it after Mila, they're both giggling as they run from him. Before they get to far, Harry's arms come around both their waist's "Gotcha both!" he begins to tickle them and they both fall to the ground trying to get away.

"Uncle Harry! Stop! I'm sorry!" Mila says through her laughter, he stops "I like Laila, Uncle Harry" Harry smiles at his niece "Me too!" he winks at Laila.

~*~*~*~

A few weeks later

Laila had arranged to meet Nikki at the park with Poppy, They are chatting when all of a sudden they hear Poppy scream.

They both rush over to her, Poppy is hysterical on the floor below the monkey bars "Pops, what's wrong?" tears steam down her face "It hurts!!" she screams "Poppy, did you fall from the bars?" Laila asks her and she nods unable to answer because of the pain.

Nikki becomes distraught "Nikki, It's going to be fine!" Laila tries to reassure her "I'll call an ambulance just in case" Laila pulls out her phone to make the call.

Continue reading this story here - Chapter 13.

@shewillreadyou @lem-20 @secretaryunpaid @khoicesbyk @aussieez @txemrn @irisofpurple @casualpostqueen @shannonwrote @tea-me-kah

#atb #always the bridesmaid #pixie 88 original #pixie 88 #fiction #fictionalstory #harry x laila

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morgemuffel · 5 years

Text

MALEC. ➰ INSECURITIES ARE HUMAN.

This story takes place between 3Bx14 & 3Bx15

I know Underhill has not been given a first name yet so I'll just name him Jack in my story. If the name gets revealed in season 3B, I will revise the text and replace the name. :) *(Part 1 of my series: our heart beats like one)

So enjoy reading & please remember English is not my mother tongue... :)

Sometimes I can't understand his reasoning, I can't understand him. Why can't I just understand his actions and be happy for him? He has regained his magic, well more likely he got a top-of-the-line dose of Lorenzo's and even that to a pretty lousy price. To the price tag of the loft. His home. My home. Nevertheless, I should be happy for him, but I just can't. Am I a bad boyfriend now?

Alec is lying on his bed at the New York Institute and has been staring at his white bare ceiling enormously fascinated for a quite bit of time now. He never realized how uncomfortable his room was set up. The large room radiated more of a particularly than a cozy atmosphere. Everything looked rather cool. The antique furnitures were indiscriminately combined, the whole previous facility more functional than friendly and inviting. Not like if someone would really live here and feeling safe and secure while being there. Neither Alec's character was reflected nor did it somehow felt like his home. Home, that was the key word, Magnus' Loft was home, Magnus was his home. A part of Alec, just a tiny little egotistical part of Alec, had been looking forward to the loss of Magnus magic. He had felt an unintentional relief at the thought that he and Magnus now had a chance to get old together and the immortality issue would be out of the blue once and for all. But as soon as the thought had come so quickly it had evaporated again. He knew how much Magnus was suffering from the loss of his magic and it hurt him to see him like that. His magic connected him with everything around him and without it he felt like a stranger. In the body of a more than 400-year-old warlock without the electrifying feeling of his magic flowing through him like blood through his veins. So how could Alec begrudge him that feeling? Furthermore, it was not certain that the return of his magic had automatically resolved the mortality. But he was too afraid to ask him this question. This one question that burned like fire on his tongue. The fear that this little shameful part of him would gain the upper hand in a confrontation. He didn't want Magnus to know about that ugly part of him. And so he was back to the beginning of his thoughts, was he a bad boyfriend because of that?

All at once his cell phone rings and an unknown number showed up on the display. Astonished, Alec answered the phone "Alexander Lightwood, head of the New York Institute, who am I talking to?" There was a moment of silence at the other end. Until the person cleared his throat. "Underhill here, well ahm... Jack." Alec felt a little stupid right now. Why did he have to answer so over-formally? Jack continued "I got your number from Isabel, After assuring her that I really only wanted to go out for a drink after work without any ulterior motives, she gave me your number." Ahm... yeah so, how about a beer? The first round is on me." "Alec tried to quickly sort the information inside his head: 1. OK then his cheeky sister Izzy just pulled out his private number 2. what makes her think that Underhill would actually go for someone like Alec? Alec blushed at the thought. Of course two gay men could also only be friends with each other and 3. Would Magnus see it that way too? What was he thinking, sure Magnus was not a jealous man. "Yeah, why not, Hunter's Moon at 8:00pm?" Jack laughed relieved. It almost seems like he wants to talk to Alec about something important. "Sounds great see you then." They said goodbye and Alec slips his phone a bit confused back into his pocket. He never really had friends apart from his brother Jace and his sister Izzy. Well there were still Clary and Simon. But Simon talked too much about irrelevant mundane stuff and Dustin Hoffman movies. Clary and him were just recently getting along maybe that would change in the future but right now it was more like a collegiate base. It would be nice to have someone who was just his friend, someone who knew what it was like to come out at the institute, someone he could talk to about shadowhunter-stuff and relationship issues and who'd actually understand him. Of course, Jace was his Parabatei and felt everything what Alec felt through their connection and tried to help him as best possible. But Jace, well... Jace, was still Jace at the end of the day and his advice, though well intentioned often not really helpful. With Magnus he could talk about all these things and he appreciated that. He had never opened so much to anyone but what bothered him now, had to do with Magnus and therefore he also dropped out as an option. So Alec was looking forward to hangout with Underhill, with Jack.

Magnus just left Hunter's Moon after his cheering-up-martini. He was feeling a little melancholic at the thought of his lost loft. But he was still convinced that it was worth it. At the end of the day it's just a thing and so he had the opportunity to look for a new home. That was always a lot of fun. He loves to have a look at new apartments and then set it up and decorate it again. He had the money and who knows, maybe he could even persuaded Alec to to paint the walls with him and pick out new furniture from catalogs? Maybe there was even a similar apartment in Brooklyn just waiting for him. And perhaps it was a sign? That the time to take the next step and move in with Alec has come. He had told Alec a few weeks earlier that it wasn't the time yet, that it's to soon. They were together for about two months now but it felt like an eternity. He wanted to say yes that day when Alec stood there in Magnus' blue shirt when he looked at him expectantly, but he couldn't. He was too afraid and had never ventured this step with anyone before. With Alec he always discovered new needs, needs he never know that they were even there. What Magnus really wanted, no needed was waking up every morning beside his wonderful boyfriend, to lose himself in those beautiful hazel colored eyes, having breakfast with him, eating french toast on a balcony each and every morning, spend the day with him and wait for his return in the evening. For his return to their home. Home, Magnus smiled, yes he was ready for this new adventure.

Arriving at Hunter's Moon, Alec looked for the blond shadowhunter. He just missed Magnus who went out of the back door. Jack Underhill sat at the counter with a beer in his hand and waved to Alec. Alec sat down and ordered a beer as well. Magnus tried to familiarize him with the different drinks and wines but Alec was usually more confused at the end, that's why it was always up to Magnus to decide. He thought taking the same thing like Underhill would be the easiest. "Cool that you've made it, Underhill started, I honestly asked you out for a reason ..." Alec frowned, and took a sip of his beer. Jack hesitated before he finally started. "I haven't been dating anybody for a long time now and..." Alec's thoughts were a wild mess now. "Oh by the angel, no I don't know how to deal with such a situation please don't say what I think you're about to say ..." Underhill took a deep breath and asked: Would you be my wingman tonight? Alec blushed, he wasn't expecting that. He has never been asked to be someone's wingman. Jace didn't need anyone because he was the master of flirting and now he's happy in a relationship with Clary anyway. What do you even do as a good wingman? Alec wasn't sure. Nevertheless, he agreed" "Okey, then and what did you have in mind?" he asked hesitantly. Underhill told him he just had to help him talk to a potential partner. "I don't know if I'm the right person for this job..."Alec said. Jack shook his head tentative. "Of course! if not you who else?" You got yourself the High Warlock of Brooklyn the Magnus Bane!" Alec grinned at the thought of Magnus. Although he wasn't the high warlock of Brooklyn anymore he sometimes couldn't believe it himself. Magnus wasn't only incredibly hot and sexy but also extremely funny intelligent and... oh, he shouldn't digress it wasn't about him now. But how should he help Underhill? Communication with other people apart from Magnus wasn't really his strength. Except he was drunk then he was according to Izzy *a babbling waterfall* "Well, let's try it, but I'll need two more beers first," Alec laughed.

Meanwhile Magnus opened a portal in the narrow alley behind the bar to get into the institute. Suddenly blood ran from his right nostril down to his lips. Surprised, he wiped his nose and tried to suppress the thought that wanted to spread in his head. Just don't think about it, then it is not true. He wipes his hand on the inside of his jacket and walked through the portal. Once there, he sets out to find Alec, he should be finished working by now. But he doesn't find him anywhere. As he passes the Armory, he sees Izzy and he decides to ask her about Alec."Isabelle, have you seen Alec? I wanted to surprise him with a dinner in Paris and talk about my... our... new living situation." Izzy looks at him sheepishly as she replies "Yes he is with Jack, I mean Underhill they went out for a drink." "Oh... Jack," Magnus says visibly surprised by this message. "Well then we'll have to delay this special occasion..."Izzy perky as always "don't worry about my brother, he only has eyes for you and I think tall, blonde and handsome is more like Clary's type." "Yes ... no no, I'm not jealous Isabel, do you know when he'll be back?" Izzy thought about it "naah, no idea tomorrow is his day off from that... I don't know. Magnus was undecided what to do next. He had hoped to spend the night with Alec in his apartment in Paris. Now he wasn't even sure if it's a good idea to open a portal again. Should he just wait in Alec's room? Yes, that was a good idea. "I'll just wait for him in his room," Magnus said. Izzy nodded and continued polishing her seraph blade. Magnus headed to the bedchambers of the institute until he reached Alec's room. He rubbed his hands happily when he got the idea to redesign the room. And so he was busy with his new project for the next few hours.

An hour later, the two men sat laughing, lolling and loot spying at the counter. So far, Alec had not found any of Underhills suggested men passable. Underhill: "How about the one over there at the pool table, the one in the white shirt?" "I mean he looks good... and I like the way he's stroking through his hair when he laughs... somehow cute." Alec: "Uh... really?" I'm not sure, he's a bit pale" he said with a shrug. Jack: "Well, not everybody can have a flawless tanned caramel-like body with perfectly defined muscles and silky smooth hair. Alec looked at him puzzled "you remember that you're talking about my boyfriend right? Underhill then a bit uncomfortable "Yeah sorry, but I mean Magnus is really good-looking even I can see that. Alec laughs and turns back to Mr. White-Shirt. He inspects him from top to bottom, but finds it difficult to find something about him that he would actually classify as attractive. Automatically, Magnus' Ideal Body appeared in his mind's eye and Alec started comparing the two men. He couldn't say if he would find the man attractive if Magnus wasn't his boyfriend. Hm... Okay the guy could play pool that was positive but otherwise? Alec: Well he's definitely not a Magnus, at the most a 6 out of 10 and he's good at playing pool, you like doing that too sooo...? Jack: "Haha, but I'm not looking for a second Magnus either..." he started but Alec interrupted him, "you wouldn't even find a second one he said in a played sulkily tone. Underhill "Maybe I should have thought this through." The two men burst out laughing again and so it goes back and forth for a while. As Alec's phone rings in his pocket. "Oh, speaking of which..., "heeeey baaabe... "he mumbles into the phone, smiling.

Magnus on the other side of the phone exhales slowly before answering in his casual tone. "Hello darling... I've heard you're out, uhm... with a friend and I wanted to ask you when you're about to be back..? I'm here at the institute, decorating your room a bit..." Magnus cursed inside that wasn't very subtle, he had told Isabel that he wasn't jealous and he meant it. Especially after so many centuries and several relationships, he had learned that, jealousy is just a feeling that comes from your own insecurity. And he knew that he could fully trust Alec but even Magnus was uncertain sometimes. Unsure he might be easy to replace? "Pssst... that's my boyfriend Magnus on the other end, could you all be quiet, thanks!" Alec rolled his eyes at the guests at Hunter's Moon and shaking his head as if it were the most logical thing that the entire bar has to be quiet when his boyfriend calls. Yes drunk Alec was here. Underhill could barely suppress his laugh as he tried to ignore the evil glares of the others. "Send your better half kind regards." Magnus heard Underhill whispering in the background. Alec returned to his conversation with Magnus. "Ahm... greetings, no a kind regards from Jack and I'll be on my way in about 15 minutes," Alec whispered lovingly into his phone. Magnus' heart on the other end began to throb wildly, oh he loved this Nephilim so much that it almost hurt and Underhill is a nice guy so get yourself together Bane. "See you then darling," Magnus replied and hung up.

After Alec has finished the call, the sentence which Underhill had told him a few weeks ago went through his head - Nephilim love once, fiercely - Yes, he couldn't look at other men without thinking about Magnus and his inner conflict made itself noticeable again. Now was the right time to ask Jack for advice. So he took all his courage together and just blurted out with it. "Hey... Can I ask you something serious about ahm... relationships...?" Alec asked. Underhill took a deep breath and stretched slowly. "Alright buddy go ahead." Alec started to tell him about his worries. He told him that he was hurt when he found out that Magnus had regained his magic today. Because he has the feeling that Magnus prefers to have his magic, be immortal and to outlive him. To forget him and one day simply replace him, instead of being mortal and spend like fifty years in the mundane way with Alec. He confessed to him that he thought the biggest hurdle in their relationship would be out of the world. Even though he wants Magnus to be happy at all costs, he doesn't know how to handle this feeling. "He could have died trying and did'n't even ask for my opinion you understand? And I dare not to ask him if he has now regained his magic and immortality, or only his magic and if I am unnecessarily maddening." Jack nodded slowly as he said "It's always best to start with yourself first." Let's talk about the immortality part..."

Alec was obviously feeling better after Underhill's speech and decided to get back reasonably sober with a lot of coffee and then confront Lorenzo at the handover in Magnus' loft. Nobody had the right to humiliate his Magnus like that and he would do anything, to make sure his boyfriend was happy again. The two men said goodbye and reassured each other to repeat this soon again. Alec walked towards Magnus' loft, the cool New York breeze blew in his face and he felt more sober after each block and more like himself again. He took the time to think about Jack's words. Alec had realized he was right about everything. He loves Magnus and he knew from the beginning that Magnus was immortal. He knew that one day he'd be old and that Magnus would probably just bee as young and alive as now. The new situation, whether temporary or not, doesn't change the fact that Magnus is a warlock. He was born as a warlock and his magic is a part of him as well as the immortality. Done.

The loft was unrecognizable. Alec went to the balcony and admired the view as he did so often before, as the door opened and Lorenzo entered. He had so much to say to him, wanted to yell at him, beat him but he tried to stay calm. Instead, he just asked quietly, "You really are despicable, aren't you? Lorenzo remained calm and replied only insolently, "Mr. Lightwood what a pleasant surprise. I didn't know you came with this apartment." And confessed that he just wanted to humiliate Magnus and put him in his place after all, he is now the high warlock of Brooklyn. Not Magnus. Mockingly, he added a condescending remark, "And the fact that he sent his little boyfriend to plead his case tells me I more than succeeded."Alec was seething with anger. Lorenzo forgot who he was talking to. Alec would teach him some manners. Lorenzo could play games with everyone else but not with Alec. No. "I'm the head of the New York Institute. Don't speak to me like that." For a moment he saw the fear in Lorenzo's eyes. Lorenzo said soothingly: "You're right." Perhaps this is getting unnecessarily heated." So Alec tried to negotiate with him offered to find him a better deal. But the warlock refused. He was only interested in referring Magnus to his place and playing out his new position of power. Alec had heard enough. You don't climb higher than you should otherwise you'll fall deeper than you'd like. And Lorenzo was getting too cocky. Alec lowered his voice as he spoke again "Enjoy this position while it lasts." The Clave doesn't take kindly to conniving, unethical Downworld... Leaders." He took a step towards Lorenzo and glared at him as he said: "You will slip up." And when you do, I'll be waiting there to take you down." With these last words he left the loft and thus a thoughtful and confused Lorenzo Rey.

Back at the institute Alec opened the door to his room when he realized, that he was probably still a little drunk, since he had obviously mistaken the room. He was just about to turn in between the door step when the shape on the bed moved and two cat eyes lit up in the dark and gazed at him. "Alec is it you?" Perplexed, Alec tried to spot the flaw in the room in the dim light. The furniture were the same but the walls had been painted in a cool shade of gray, black picture frames were mounted on the walls, with memories of travels he had made with Magnus. It looked like in an art gallery. A big plant was standing next to his desk and he slowly recognized the Scandinavian style that wafted through the room. "Maaa...gnuus, what have you done to my room...?" Alec laughed. He heard a giggle followed by a yawn."I was bored when I was waiting for you and well Nordic Interior Design is currently very trendy, you like it?" In that moment Alec knew he would never ask him. He didn't need to know the answer. The only truth he knew was that he loved this man with skin and hair. And that was all that matters. "I love it" Alec said. "And I love you, so will you finally join me my angel?" Magnus whispered. Alec liked it when Magnus addressed him with pet names, though not all of them were great, but most of them were actually really cute. He wasn't as original at them like his boyfriend and when he tried well... something strange came out of it. He has become friends with *Babe* it was not very originally but since he was the only one allowed to call Magnus like that it was enough. He undressed and slipped in something comfortable to sleep before he went to bed an snuggled up with Magnus. For a while they lay there quietly entwined until Alec asked into the darkness: "Magnus were you jealous of Underhill...? cause I wasn't sure but... " Magnus hesitated for a moment before he answered, maybe in an octave too high "Uhm nope, I have no reason to be." Alec laughed as he noticed the little lie and pressed Magnus even closer to him. He whispered in his ear: "We both know that there is no reason for jealousy but sometimes even I'm a bit jealous, I think that's normal." Magnus turned to look at Alec in surprise. His Alec jealous of whom? He could not imagine with the best of intentions who Alec even rudimentarily regarded as competition. "Please, who could you possibly be jealous of?" Magnus asked. Alec grinned into the darkness. "Good night babe."

#magnus bane #alec lightwood #magnus x alec #shadowhunters #the mortal instruments #underhill #isabel lightwood #jace herondale #malec #huntersmoon #the law is the law #from rules to suggestions #season3b14x #are you jealous?#nephilimdaily #shtv #sh spoilers

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drunkme-mories · 3 years

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Okay, here I go...

Since I’ve met you, I find myself on an eternal repetition compulsion.

“Repetition compulsion is a psychological phenomenon in which a person repeats an event or its circumstances over and over again. This includes reenacting the event or putting oneself in situations where the event is likely to happen again.”

It’s like I’m on an infinite roller coaster, stuck on the loops. I don’t know why I am unable to get over you. (I mean, it has been almost 2 years that I’m trying to...).

Some days I go to bed, with a feeling that when I wake up the next morning it would all be just the same, just like before, you know? It would be a usual Friday, before the pandemic, and I’m feeling nervous just to imagine if I’d see you later that night and if you would finally notice me.

You’re still in my head (almost 24/7 lately), but I just don’t know why. Sometimes I justify it with the fact that we never talked in person about everything, we have barely texted about it. I even used to believe that what we had was a karmic relationship.

I keep asking myself “why I’m still thinking and caring about her, even after everything that has happened?” We’ve lost the most important thing to me, that was our friendship. And I know I’ve probably lost the sympathy of your friends (but I promise that you didn’t lose my friend’s sympathy, ‘cause every single time I have talked to them about you, I have always emphasized the fact that it had nothing to do with your character, and that you’re a good person with a good heart) and it hurts so much to know that we will never be able to meet up at the bar again, grab some drinks and spend the night laughing and having fun like we used to.

I even miss the nights we spent during this quarantine texting each other, talking about some crazy shit that has happened to us some years ago, to send each other TikTok’s, to know what’s going through your mind, what’s happening in your life, who’s the new girl that you’re breaking the heart, stuffs like this you know?

I was finally getting used to the idea that we would never see each other again, wouldn’t even talk again, but maybe unconsciously I don’t want that, I don’t want to say goodbye, I want you in my life, even if it’s not like a lover but as a friend, and I wish we could make it out without hurting each other again, and without hurting my lover too.

Well, she was always insecure about you, because even she could see how pure and intense my feelings were for you, even when I didn’t want to see it, and didn’t want to assume it (to you, to her, and myself). And I would probably feel the same way if I were in her shoes.

Since the goddamn day I fell in love with you, I live with this guilt, that consumes me more and more every day, the guilt of not being brave enough to tell you at the time what I was feeling for you (even tho you were always really mean to me, but that’s not the point right now), just like Lizzie did to Casey on that episode... Or to just have sent you a drunk message saying “hey bitch I fucking love you can you stop being trash to me and just accept to go on a date with me, to steal me a kiss after some glasses of wine, and tell me that you feel the same way about me?” you know? 😂

But now this guilt is even worse, because I’m with someone else, who I unconditionally love and cherish, but I know that I’ll never love anyone the same way I have loved you and it kills me inside.

Sometimes I think I'm not enough for her, that I wouldn't be enough for you if we ever had become something, that I don't deserve to be loved, and I know that it's probably true...

But anyway, sorry if sending you that previous ask sounded like I was being selfish, or that I was trying to take advantage of you, ‘cause it wasn't my real intention.

I wish I could erase this feeling on us, so we could meet again and laugh about all of this chaos, especially about the stuff we both wrote about each other ‘cause, I mean... I was never a good writer, but I kinda wrote some poems about you, I even wrote you a letter, remember? Not that I'm trying to be cocky but I nailed the poems, they're pretty good, maybe I should try to write some more so I can publish a book, Rupi Kaur style 😂 sorry, I tend to use humor as a coping mechanism.

But anyway, I hope you're doing good, that you have achieved your dream of entering a med school, that you're going to therapy, and I'm still hoping we could still be friends, even grab a coffee someday, and finally talk about everything in person. I will always wish you the best! 🌕

Yeah let me go topic by topic ok.

First of all. It’s good to talk to you again.

Second, yeah I also feel lost in that loop (by the away great taylor song about it the way I loved you check that out). But I don’t thing it’s karma at least no a bad karma. I think we have this weird connection that every time I’m thinking about you a lot, like these lasts days you show up in my life again and I can’t help but think that we’re going to always be in each other’s life bc were supposed to. This weekend my family was talking about other lives and even I don’t believe in that, I thought this may be us.

About lost our friendship I spoke to one of my friends a couple months ago that I was missing you. And I didn’t know why. So I told him “ok I’m going to text her”. He told me to look at our old conversations to see if eventually we’d have those conversations now that you’re dating. And FUCK looking back to that hurt me. But it was good to see how much I’ve change, you know, that last convo when I was saying that I was jealous and i couldn’t just say “I’m jealous of you, you dumb bitch” was especially cringe for me. But yeah, he’s the only friend of me that knows and he’s not our (strange to say our bc that’s no us at all) number 1 supporter. Cause I don’t even now how to explain to people what we had. It’s something that we don’t even know what it was or what it is.

Now let’s get in to the topic that you blocked me. And I know that was important for you relationship and stuff but I was heartbroken. Like unfollow and muted ok, but cut me like that was cruel of you. I understand. But was hard. I also wanted to told you about some big changes up in my life, wanted to know what you’re up to, love life, college, family and everything. You were some weird friend of me after all.

About being friends I’m 0% into that right now. At this point I can’t see myself having anything with you (but I’m up to a illicit affair). Also fuck her. This 6 moths made me hate her so much and I know is jealousy but I don’t care. I know it’s not kind of me and blablabla but fuck it, she’d also hate me to if she took a look in my brain. And she’s right to feel insecure bc if I had a chance I wouldn’t doubt about it (guess me being a trash didn’t change that much lol). And I know she’s good to you, know she treats you like I’ll never be able, but I just think it should be me, you know, even though if we were both single we’d be nothing like that. So yeah that’s another topic. Fuck her.

And yeah Casey and Izzie will always remember me of you, and also will some songs, and some other movies. That was all I had of you in the last 6 moths so I guess that will change eventually.

It’s good to hear that even though she’s having a lot of was once mine, she would never have it all. That’s good. This past moths I’ve seen she take everything that as ours and turning in to yours so it’s good to know that if I show up at your wedding I would still cause some trouble.

Some things never change right?

I’m really sad to see you putting you down like that. So if my opinion has any importance to you, I think you’re too much for her anyway. And I’m sorry to help you feeling that you don’t deserve love in any kind of way. I think having a past, like you like to call me, won’t make you least or not deserving her love.

It’s not you’re fault you had a 10 and she’s a 5. Ok maybe a 9. Ok in 2019 I was definitely a 5 as well.

Don’t be mad at me I’m just joking ok.

In the moment we sat down and talk about this time we’ll have some good laughs. I still got those poems and I’m still waiting to have the box you told me about. And I guess that’s whats keep us here talking in one unofficially social, talking in other language, me writing texts about you. I’ve never lied to you that I love this drama and I think you might like this as well.

Least, I want to tell you again that right now I can’t see myself having a friendship with you cause I still have a lot of feelings going on. I like to imagine us meeting again in the future, both change, both grown, and living all the things we’ve always wanted but we’re both not ready for it. After that being said, I wish the best for you as well. I’m not going to end it that way bc I feel like this is not the end. So I hope you read this and send me a chat on here so we can talk privately. If you feel like that’s not the right thing to do, I’ll be always here fore you and I’ll always have a song to send you for you to remind of me in secret. Missing you.

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