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martietm · 4 years

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hey friends ! it’s ya girl gigi , i prefer she/her pronouns , i’m from the gmt-2 tmz , which tbh , i don’t rly know what it means , and i’m twenty years old , coming out of my hole to introduce u to martina . she’s real dumb but so am i so i feel like we connect over that u know ? anyways , under the cut u will find some more info about her , n if u wanna plot pls smash that like button so i can scream @ u about how high school musical 3 rly was that bitch . yes , thats why it took me so long to get this posted . i have no shame about it .

ariana grande . cisfemale . she&her . ／ martina bianco just pulled up blasting 929 by halsey — that song is so them ! you know , for a twenty five year old singer , i’ve heard they’re really impetuous , but that they make up for it by being so sociable . if i had to choose three things to describe them , i’d probably say old band t-shirts , high ponytail & dirty sneakers . here’s to hoping they don’t cause too much trouble !

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐒 :

𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 : martina bianco . 𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 : martie exclusively . please call her martie she will not answer if u call her anything else or maybe she’ll just cry abt it . 𝐚𝐠𝐞 : twenty five . 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 : singer / songwriter . 𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 : closeted bisexual / biromantic . 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡 : newark , nj . 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 : los angeles , ca / new york city , ny . 𝐯𝐨𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦 : ariana grande . 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐬 : sociable , sincere , clueless , impulsive , unbothered , insecure , funloving , creative , unsure , adventurous .

𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 :

martie is the only daughter out of five kids , and she was born to a traditionally italian family , from both her parents’ sides . they weren’t rich but lived comfortably , and had a really big family in general . holidays and birthdays were always huge in her family , and there was usually a funny argument that ended with the grandmas spraying everyone with a water hose . her parents weren’t very happy together , but tried their best to work through their problems and not divorce , since they were very much christians and didn’t really believe in separation . they did eventually divorce though , but only pretty later on in martie’s life .

considering she only had brothers and her mother worked long hours , martie didn’t have a lot of female influences in her life , so she grew up pretty unconcerned about more feminine matters , not because she disliked it but she was just clueless to it . when she grew older , she got a lot more into makeup , but fashion still isn’t her thing . nowadays , she has a personal stylist , but when she dresses herself , martie usually ends up in dirty sneakers and ripped t-shirts .

so , growing up , considering martie wasnt too interested in most of her brothers hobbies , she had to find herself something to do . she tried a great many deal of things , and ended up discovering she loved music , writing song lyrics , playing musical instruments , and singing . considering she was pretty good at it , her parents supported her wishes and paid for singing lessons & bought her a bunch of instruments and all of that .

[ HOMOPHOBIA / BIPHOBIA TW ] so she was pretty happy and chill for her late childhood & early teens , contrary to some of her brothers , martie didnt get in trouble with teachers and was a reasonably good student , so they never worried about her while she was growing up . that pretty much all changed when martie not only came out as bisexual to her family but also told them she was actually in a relationship a girl . her family was very religious so it didn’t surprise her when her mother cried for days & was clearly disappointed , but her dad raged and screamed and threatened her with all kinds of punishments if she didn’t end her relationship and never talked about her sexuality again instead , and his behaviour made her feel so scared that she did end up breaking up with her first girlfriend and didn’t touch the subject of her sexuality for many many years after that . [ END OF TW ]

it caused a huge shift in her family dynamics , unsurprisingly . martie felt like she didnt have a choice but to hide , and she really resented her father for forcing that on her & the rest of the family for giving her almost no support . her brothers tried their best , but it was really hard for all of them to stand up to their father . so she focused a lot on her music , because by then she was sure that it was her way out of that environment that was hurting her so much .

she was picked up by a label when she was 19 , and left her home in newark as soon as she could . choosing to stay with new friends and acquaintances as she worked her way into the music industry . after being featured in a few other artist’s songs & having a first single to become a smash hit ( side to side ) , martie released dangerous woman , her first album that climbed steadily up the charts until she was basically everywhere . it was a very sudden change of environment but she was very happy about it , at least she wasnt stuck around her dad anymore .

however , she is still just as stuck as she was back in her hometown , since once she blew up , her label & management thought it would also be a good idea to hide her sexuality , at least until she was more ‘established’ in the industry . newsflash , its been five years and they still wont let her come out about it . she’s definitely growing impatient , though , so that’s not something that’s gonna be a secret for too long probably . still , there’s not a lot of ppl who know abt her sexuality out there so far .

so , in the five years she’s been famous , martie kept in contact with a few family members , but definitely not her dad . her parents divorced a couple of years after she left , and her mom decided to make more of an effort to be around her & get over her prejudice to support martie’s choices , which helped heal their relationship in ways martie didnt really expect .

considering the career she has now , martie has managed to keep a relatively unproblematic image on the media . she’s had her controversial moments for sure , and there are definitely reasons for people to dislike her , but mostly she gets away unscathed by fans , the media does have a field trip coming up w untrue headlines about her tho .

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 :

okay so , martie is kinda like a not so big kid still ? she’s never had to actually be by herself her entire life , so adulting is something she has a certain difficulty doing . she’s very unbothered about life in general , so something really worrying that mostly everyone would freak out about will rarely ever bother her . but , she will freak out for three days if she gets asked to pay her own bills or something as mundane .

she also kinda lives in her own little world , and in a way , she can be very confident in the aspect of not really bothering about almost anyone’s opinions about her & her actions , if she wants to do something that will make her happy , she won’t really think about it before doing so , so she’s kinda reckless in that way . but she also doubts herself very much when it comes to self worth & like things related to her actual personality . we love multifaceted muses am i right ? lmao

martie is great to make friends with , she will pretty much get along with everyone ? is a super social being , loves being surrounded by people , probably has a bunch of her friends living with her because she just doesn’t like being alone .

loves working ! spends almost her entire free time in the studio , if u haven’t seen her in three days chances are she’s trying to finish a song . can get a little lost on it though so she definitely needs some looking after when she gets into songwriting mode .

overall a disaster child ? doesn’t know how to function but tries her best & isn’t that all we can ask ?

𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 :

a secret relationship with a girl , work collaborators , a pr relationship , exes , the first love from high school maybe ? , roommates , best friends , protective friendships , good influences , bad influences , smth based on ghostin’ by ari , something based on you should be sad by halsey .

#excess:intro #um this took me a Minute #im sorry pls enjoy this late mess

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iwritethat · 5 years

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Jason Todd: Badass

A/N: Jason Todd back in his Robin day’s, inspired by the Titans TV Series to be quite honest.

>>>>——————————>

They couldn't understand it, no one could. There was Jason Todd, Robin 2.0, renowned for his fiery temper and street thug background - which on his own was perfectly normal - but then there was you. Innocent, kind hearted and pure, beautiful you with a moral conscience to rival Supermans'.

It wasn't supposed to be a viable match but anyone could blatantly see Jason had a thing for you whereas you continued to be unreadable much to the surrounding heroes frustration. According to their knowledge, you were an extension of the Batfamily albeit not in the vigilante game but rather an associate and closest to Jason in particular. Origins remain unknown.

In retrospect they shouldn't have underestimated you from the start, possibly even delved deeper into why their resident cold hearted Robin was enamoured with a holy angelic soul such as yourself. Regardless, it was too late and as soon as you'd heard whispers of Robins capture echoing throughout Young Justice you found yourself standing before Nightwing and his selected Team within the hour demanding you go with them. Wally laughed, and Artemis immediately slapped him whilst Dick shook his head in disappointment.

"I'm going."

"I get you wanna protect Robin (Y/n), but it'd be safer for you here." West justified despite how adamant you were.

"Thanks for the concern KF but I can handle myself. When do we leave?"

"They’re right, it’s too dangerous, we’ll bring back Robin. There’s too many men to risk your life (Y/n).” Nightwing was correct, his tone more of an order even though you were not under his supervision by any means.

However, the one thing about knowing Nightwing was that he was Team Leader, essentially whatever he says goes - and this time that didn’t fall in your favour.

That's not how you found yourself staring up at Bane with Robin tied up a few paces behind you with blood dripping from his lips - no, you did that by disobeying orders and tailing the Team. It hadn't surprised you that Jason’s reckless headstrong attitude had gotten him stuck here in the first place but you couldn’t chastise him when you’d reinacted the same choices in order to save him. Meanwhile the rest of your unwilling squad were withheld by the threat of your safety - you're sure you could hear Batgirl and Kid Flash curse at your behaviour but you’d do anything to protect the people you care about.

"Bane right? How about I propose a deal, if I beat you senseless then we all go free and if you win, then you can do whatever you want." You playfully suggested, the less than intimidating stature you held and cherished smile encouraging his confidence. Even though he had the upper hand, it wouldn't be displaying the correct image to his employees if he turned down a challenge from the weakest opponent out there.

"I wouldn't Bane." It was a cough, a splutter from a smug Robin despite the unanimous glares/protests from the rest of your team.

"Bring it Pipsqueak!"

It was painful for all of them to watch, Kid Flash making visible movements towards you every time you took a hit only stopping himself when guns were aimed at your figure. You heard Artemis and Nightwing desperately call your name as you were slammed to the ground again, Banes hand tightly around your throat as you were pushed further into the floor with a groan.

"Stupid bet to make kid, but you and your friends will pay for it." He released his grip, allowing you to slowly get back onto your feet and wipe away the blood from your nose with a giggle. The villain immediately snapped to you, expressions of shock littered the room - all except the relieved smile of Jason because he knew you better than anyone ever could under the kindest smile known to man.

"I haven't lost yet~"

“Wha-“

“Did you know that you pivot your right foot 45 degrees away from your target when you go for a left uppercut?” Your head tilted as he came at you, performing the perfect counter thus silencing the room.

“And you do not have your anger under control, therefore your movements become desperate and easier to predict. Much like now.” Your tone was informative, analytic and upbeat as you sent Bane to the floor again.

It was like something flipped, reality had been warped or some other inconceivable explanation was required - your movements had changed, now quicker and stronger than ever as you anticipated Banes every offence, mapped him out like a book and within 57 seconds the huge male was knocked unconscious on the cold concrete of the warehouse with you elegantly crouched on his chest with an innocent grin. In the midst of their awe, Nightwing managed to take an advantage whilst the guards were distracted enabling his team to make a clean escape too.

You delicately walked over to Jason, slicing his restraints with the male practically falling into your arms.

"I warned him, that was badass doll." Robin lowly chuckled, forehead resting against yours which displayed how grateful he was to see you. Normally affection would never be displayed in front of anyone else unless it was playful flirting but this? This was meaningful.

"You okay dork? You're bleeding a bit." You softly replied, thumb brushing across his lower lip to remove the crimson liquid and looking back up to be met with his admiring gaze.

It was no secret that he liked you, it was in the way he spoke or rather flirted - a characteristic of Robins as you'd discovered but it was genuine, you knew because he opened up to you - whether he had meant to or not. There were the sweet gestures where he forgot himself and the momentary lapses, where he remembered that he was Robin and dating you would be dangerous.

Yet in this instance he couldn't care, because danger was exhilarating and you would make everything worth it so he closed the distance a little further as if silently asking if you felt the same. You noticed, being attune to the way he thought made the whole ordeal easier and you couldn't help the sincere smile gracing your features at the action, taking it as a sign of approval his lips met yours in a slow chaste kiss.

It was over as soon as it got started, Robin not even thanking you as you glared up at the boy wonder before rolling your eyes and brushing past Kid Flash who could barely make sense with his frantic gestures. Artemis' gaze followed you out, opting to comment on what they were all thinking as Jason stood beside Nightwing.

"No wonder you like (Y/n) so much."

"Tch, yeah right. That badass nerd - hell no." Robin laughed, smirking proudly at his brother.

"You literally just kissed-" Dick began, already confused by Little Wings’ contradicting displays.

"Bro, you kiss girls all the time. Doesn't mean anything."

"You what?!" Barbara practically radiated rage at Jasons’ haphazard statement, Nightwing instantly paling at the revelation.

"Ah no, Batgirl not like that I - Robin!!"

"See ya, thanks for the assisted save because let's be honest (Y/n) woulda just come alone anyways!" Before his brother could finish, Jason had offered a salute and disappeared into the night leaving the ‘adults’ to resolve their issues.

Later that night, you found yourself in one of Gotham's many local bars leaning against the counter simply minding your own business when a bottle was slid in your direction. You directed your irises toward the origin, finding none other than Jason wearing his favourite hoodie under a casual jacket with a beer bottle in his hand.

"How was your night?"

"I saved a guy tonight, didn't get much thanks mind you." There was a tinge of venom in your voice but it was more exasperated than anything.

"Oh? A kiss and a beer not good enough, what sort of thanks were you expecting?" Jason was sarcastic on the other hand, leaning on the bar beside you.

"I don't know Jaybird, now Arty, Wally and Babs know what I'm capable of. I'm an asset to them."

"You're not, Dick wouldn't let that happen and you don't have to join the Team. But hey seeing you kick butt up close and personal was an experience." He was serious now, your companionship was important to him and he’d never let them use your abilities when you didn’t want part of his lifestyle. He’d promised that many moons ago.

"Oi! What the heck are you two doing in here, you aren't 21!" You both flicked to the outraged voice of Dick Grayson, the male standing at the doorway with Barbara in tow. It was a shock to Dick and Barbara when they caught you both at the bar, underage - how'd you even get in?Instantly Jason grabbed your hand, intertwining your fingers with his own as you both laughed whilst dancing through the crowd toward the fire exit.

"Don't even think about it or I'm using this as blackmail!" Babs echoed, not so fluently managing to evade bodies due to her taller stature.

You ran, and you laughed, staggering onto his favourite rooftop of all Gotham - the one adorned with Gargoyles, his favourite perched proudly at the centre. You’d managed to lose the other two more experienced Bats much to your amusement. The wind graced your skin and your gaze shifted to the night sky admiring the rare clarity of the stars, however Jason came to a halt beside you, finding your fascination to be much more beautiful.

"It's funny, we're just a streetrat who needs adult supervision and a misguided teenager who can barely function in society. How did we make it this far?" You mindlessly stated, eyes embarrassingly directed toward the ground as you smiled.

Jason moved closer to you, lifting you chin with his finger to meet his irises before he spoke.

"Isn't it obvious? Because it's us, we're here together despite whatever our connection is." He was so gentle despite his contrasting occupation, closing the distance between your bodies as he went.

"I shouldn't have kissed you tonight." Your tone was lower, halting his actions and you missed the brief glimpse of heartbreak cross his features. However his tone was more confident yet soft as he replied working to hide his disappointment.

"I'm pleased you did."

"Ah classic Robin behaviour." You rolled your eyes, but he sensed the playfulness behind your comment.

"If you haven't noticed... I've got a little thing for you, it's been us as a team for a while that somewhere along the line I thought about 'us' as more. Sure you're no vigilante, but you're my friend and that means more than anything." It was enough, you could allow yourself moments like these to be forgotten with the wind. And you let him in once more, like you had done on multiple occasions before, you let him kiss you, with as much admiration he could display in such an intimate act.

You pulled away, breathless, enjoying the time you had knowing that every night he left could be your last - but for now, you had him.

"I'm glad it's you Jason."

"Me too (Y/n). Me too, until death rips us apart."

Little did you know how soon that would be.

#jason todd #jason todd x reader #jason todd imagine #dc #dc imagine

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eldritchsurveys · 4 years

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680.

Do you or have you ever owned a cup with your name on it? >> Actually, I have two. One time there was this dude in Meijer who was doing a promotion for Guinness, and the promo was apparently... giving out custom-engraved pint glasses???? You told him your name and he had this machine that put it on the glass for you. It was weird, especially since it was free... The font that your name is in is a bit wack, though. The other thing I have is a wine glass painted with a nighttime-y scene with skeletal trees and ravens on it. It has my name painted on the stand part, along with the date of my wedding. Sparrow has one too, with her name on it. I’m not even sure where they came from, tbh, but they’re pretty.

What’s the most expensive crafts tool that you own? >> I don’t think I own any expensive crafts tools. The only things I have are, like, pencils, a sketchbook, knitting needles, and yarn.

Have you ever woven baskets of any kind (wicker, paper, cardboard etc.)? >> Maybe as a child.

How do you like Great Balls of Fire by Jerry Lee Lewis? >> It’s all right.

Speaking of Jerry Lee Lewis, have you seen the biopic about him? >> I don’t think so.

How about the biopic about Tina Turner? >> Yeah, I saw that one.

Do you like the TV-show Frasier? >> I do, it’s actually funnier to me now than when I was younger. Back then I thought it was boring but it kills me now.

What’s something you know by heart? >> A lot of song lyrics? Also, the Litany Against Fear.

What is something you’re greedy about? >> I don’t think I’m particularly greedy about anything.

How valuable does a coin have to be for you to bother to pick it up? >> I’d pick up a quarter, maybe. I’m just no longer in the financial position where picking up coins substantially enhances my available funds.

What would be something you would wait in line to get for free? >> It depends on how long the line is, what kind of mood I’m in, and where I am... not just on what the item is. If I’m in a good mood and the line seems manageable, I’d wait in it even if the item is just some random trinket that I have no real use for. If I’m not in a good mood and the line is insane, I wouldn’t wait in it even if it was for an expensive thing I’ve been wanting for ages.

Has there ever been a leak anywhere in your house? >> No.

Have you ever slipped in the shower? >> Not to the point of falling.

Have you ever made any decorative crafts? If so, are they displayed? >> Not in recent memory.

Is it very humid where you are right now? >> Nah.

What is the most suggestive thing someone has said to you? >> *shrug*

Do you have friends who you playfully flirt with? >> No.

Doesn’t the Z in the Bzoink logo look like an L to you, too? >> I mean, not really, but I see where you’re coming from.

Did you ever take that 5000 question survey that was circulating Tumblr? >> Yeah, I took it a long time ago. Once the novelty wore off, I realised that most of the questions were just terrible IMO, which is bound to happen once you endeavour to write a survey with quite that many questions.

Have you ever had to change a zipper in your favourite article of clothing? >> No.

Do you prefer buttons or zippers in general? >> Zippers.

Did you grandma have a box full of pretty buttons? >> ---

What’s the most exotic spice in your spice rack? >> Hmm... garam masala, maybe? We have a wide variety.

Do buttons tempt you to press them? >> Not usually, but sometimes.

Do you have a favourite television host? >> No.

What’s your opinion on celebrity chefs? >> I think some of them are cool and fun to watch. Alton Brown is probably my fave.

Back when it first started, did you watch ANTM? >> I think I’ve seen a season or two. I knew someone who got on it, too (Isis King).

Did you know, that there was even a Finnish version of ANTM? Miss Jay made an appearance in the first season, too. >> No, I didn’t know that, but it makes sense. There are a bunch of those shows modeled after American Idol, too, for different countries.

Are you accident prone? >> No.

Have you ever broken something really valuable? >> I accidentally broke a laptop screen once, and that was pretty damn valuable to me.

What do you see as timeless? >> ---

What is something that you own, that has sentimental value? >> Most of these plushies.

Have you ever had your own website? >> Yeah, I’ve taken stabs at it.

What’s your favourite board game? >> ---

How about your favourite card game? >> ---

What’s something that you finished recently? >> I finished watching Sparrow play through Death Stranding, lol. I’m glad it was her and not me, because I’m pretty sure that game would have made me ragequit within the first few hours, and that would have been a shame.

What’s the smallest town you recall visiting? >> I have no idea.

What’s the longest distance you’ve had to go to work or school? >> ---

Would you learn a new language, if you didn’t share one with your lover? >> Oh, like in Love Actually? I mean, I can’t imagine myself in that situation, but I thought it was cute.

Do you have friends who are constantly tagging you in challenges on FB? >> No. People who have me on facebook should know I prefer to do my actual fun socialising on here or Discord.

When it comes to chocolate, do you prefer nougat, jelly or caramel filling? >> ---

Are you more concerned about winning than just participating? >> No.

Has somebody you know taken their own life? >> No.

What is a number that has some significance to you? Why is that? >> 9. Well, there’s a lot of synchronicity.

Do you prefer onions, leeks or chives? >> I don’t think I have a preference, I’ll take all three. Onions may be the most versatile, though, so maybe those.

What’s the most adult thing you have to do every day? >> I don’t think I have to do any adult thing every day. Maybe feeding myself is an adult thing? Although teenagers and even kids do that too.

What’s the most immature thing you like to do every day? >> ---

Have you seen the movie, Clue? If so, isn’t it fab? >> No, but I’ve seen some funny gifsets that make me think it’d probably be a good time. I might give it a shot if I run into it on a streaming service one day.

Do your cheeks get flushed easily? Do you blush easily in general? >> No, I’ve never felt that feeling.

Are there any social cues you miss entirely? >> Oh, definitely.

When someone doesn’t smile back at you, what’s your first thought? >> They probably didn’t want to, and that’s okay. I don’t always want to smile at everyone who smiles at me, either, and it shouldn’t be a mark against my character just because I don’t smile at a stranger. But, you know, whatever. Any stranger that takes that much offense at me not smiling at them probably wouldn’t get along with me for very long anyway, so it’s a useful social litmus test in the end.

Is there a person who melts your heart just by looking at you? >> No. Well, maybe Can Calah sometimes.

Have you ever had tom kha kai? It’s a Thai coconut soup, and it’s amazing. We serve it at work. >> No, but I’d definitely try it.

Have you, or anyone you know ever been rude to a server? >> I’ve never had the experience of having to watch someone I’m with be rude to a server and I am so glad for that.

What’s something you’re opinionated and very vocal about? When’s the last time you had to verbally defend your stance? >> I don’t know. I don’t really defend any stance of mine, I just put it out there sometimes if I feel like rambling about it and then leave it alone. Arguing with people about shit that ultimately really don’t matter is a waste of my valuable energy.

Have you ever played BitLife? I sort of got hooked on it, it’s like sims but in text form. >> No. I quite like the graphical form of The Sims, so I’ll stick to that.

What’s something you regularly order online? >> CBD.

When’s the last time you made a penpal? >> I’ve never had one.

Do you often make friends online? >> I make a lot of acquaintances online. Friends are far fewer.

Do people ever try to get something from somebody through you? As in, they ask you to ask the person they should be asking in the first place. If that makes sense. >> No. Which is good, because I wouldn’t do it.

What do you think when you see a couple holding hands? >> Nothing???

Is there anything you’re forced to share with someone else? >> No.

What’s something stripy that you own? >> I have a black-and-royal-blue striped robe with the Ravenclaw logo on the back.

How about something polka dotted? >> Nothing.

What is something you find absolutely appalling? >> Some people’s utterly disrespectful behaviour on this website.

Do you like elevators? >> I mean, they’re fine. I don’t dislike them.

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when I say “midnight madness”? >> Like... premieres? Or book releases? Or something like that. I have a vague association but I can’t remember exactly where it comes from.

What is a country you would never want to visit? >> ---

When you’re angry, does it ever get physical? >> Well, yeah, but not necessarily towards someone else.

What do you do, when you’re immensely happy? >> It depends on how I feel like expressing it at the time? Sometimes I don’t express it much at all, and sometimes I literally jump around the room.

What made you scream out loud the last time you screamed? >> ---

Can you hear your neighbours through the wall? >> Sometimes.

What is something that frustrates you to no end? >> Noise.

Do you wear shoes indoors? >> Absolutely not.

Who is your favourite stand-up comedian? >> Bo Burnham, Dylan Moran, and in general I’m fond of how Tiffany Haddish presents as a person and performer.

What’s the weirdest video youtube has suggested to you? >> It doesn’t usually suggest me anything weird.

What’s the funniest infomercial you’ve seen? >> ---

Is there a drink that just goes right through you? >> I don’t feel that way about any drink, no.

Is there a food item you can’t eat because it doesn’t agree with you? >> Not that I’ve encountered.

Do you playfully compete with someone about something? >> No.

Would you rather swim or run? >> I can’t swim, so my options are a little limited here.

Do you like the smell of tar? >> Sometimes, yeah.

Have you ever been to a sauna? >> No. I couldn’t last two minutes in a sauna.

Does your doorbell ring unexpectedly often? >> Not often, but sometimes people will ring multiple apartments trying to get into the building, which is fucking irritating.

Is your favourite fictional character a human, an animal or something else? >> I am my favourite fictional character. /facetious

Have you ever helped a stranger? If so, what did you do? >> I mean, sure. Just simple stuff, like picking up something they’ve dropped or letting them know they’ve left their key in the apartment door or dropping their mail off when it gets mistakenly put into my box.

Do you share hobbies with any of your friends? What do you do together? >> ---

Do you have any flags on display? If so, what flag(s)? >> I don’t. Sparrow has a rainbow flag with a peace sign in the middle on her wall.

#surveys #survey #random survey

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almaasi · 6 years

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reaction post typed while watching SPN 13x22 “Exodus”

“WATCH THIS SHOW” they said. “IT’LL BE FUN” they said. cue me being very stressed out for two hours straight

02:38pm

am i looking forward to this, with absolute confidence that nothing terrible and unfortunate will happen because it’s the deadly duo writing this and it’s near the end of the season and last episode was the whiplashiest of whiplashes? NOPE

am i gonna watch it anyway? .......yeah

hopes: nobody we care about dies

02:43

I DID NOT WANT THIS RECAP

SAMMY DID NOT DESERVE THAT

but also i still haven’t seen a captioned giftset of the moment cas said to dean “dean, he’s gone, we can’t save him”

‘cause wow as far as destiel moments go, that’s a heck of a lot of trust for dean, and a heck of a lot of concern and care on cas’ part

02:46

lucifer: your name is jack

jack: and yours is lucifer

i don’t even know why i laughed but i did??? i don’t think that was meant to be funny

02:48

lucifer: don’t you think that’s his choice?

cas: no

the abusive dad vs protective family saga continues

also i just realised for MONTHS/years? i’ve been using the 24-hour clock on my laptop and didn’t even notice how much i didn’t like it until just now, and i just changed it, and AAH THIS IS BETTER IT SAYS 02:49 INSTEAD OF 14:49 AND I DON’T ACCIDENTALLY TYPE 4:49 WHEN WRITING THESE POSTS

actually in terms of abusive parents vs protective families (expanding on what i said last week), i kinda feel like right now the writers are kinda toning down how bad it can be. lucifer’s so chill about this, kinda, and i’ve known families whose estranged parent is almost a perfect match for lucifer’s behaviour here:

they’ll offer the kid an incredible gift without telling the other parent(s), something the kid can’t refuse because of how badly they want/need it, and the parents can’t refuse without being the bad guy(s), and the whole family then becomes eternally indebted to the abusive parent and is obliged to give them money/time/rights with their child, with the threat of violence, property destroyed, access to said property removed, or instigated legal proceedings if they refuse.

plus the kid is often too young or innocent to understand, they just see an extra parent who gives them nice things, and for a kid from a broken home with not enough to go around, they don’t see the downside, and they maybe never see the threat their parents are under. or they’re physically or mentally abused by their parent(s), but think it’s okay because the parent(s) “apologises” or bribes them with nice things. or if the protective parent(s) try and keep them away from the abusive parent, the kid sees themselves as being deprived of that parent’s love

long story short, people can be shitty, and lucifer probably has the potential to be much worse than just standing around and having a casual discussion

i feel like the extended winchester family verbally defending jack is not gonna be enough, and lucifer’s gonna wanna take back sam, and destroy more while he’s at it

like an “if i can’t have it, nobody can have it” sort of thing

03:03

eyyy felicia day is in the credits

03:04

hug!!!!!!!!!!!

nawww the lil tiny nuzzle dean does with his chin before pulling away

03:07

YEAH MARY YOU PUNCH THE DEVIL IN THE FACE

!!!

AGAIN!!!

cas kinda looked like he was expecting that

03:09

i was busy admiring how mary’s hair was perfectly curly

and then by the next shot it was all limp and sad

if the weather was humid i guess it melted the curl between takes

but also MARY WHAT THE HELL

YOU DON’T WANNA ABANDON ALL THE PEOPLE IN THE AU

BUT WHAT ABOUT YOUR SMOL NEEDY HERO CHILDREN

??????

i mean i get it bUT ALSO NO I DON’T

also my face is >:| because they cut to cas and lucifer in the middle of mary and dean having a super important conversation

usually it’s not jarring but THAT WAS JARRING

eehh the deadly duo trademark is all over this

03:15

sam: mom doesn’t wanna leave these people.

sam: ...

sam: so let’s take ‘em with us

YEAH NOW THAT’S A PLAN

MUCH BETTER

take charlie and bobby too okay please

..........aw man now i said that, i get the terrible feeling that one or both of them is gonna go out in a blaze of glory instead, or stay on the sinking ship for no good reason other than because the writers don’t know what else to do with them

edit: i mean there’s still next episode.... (best case, they all survive and get storylines next season)

03:20

see all the stuff lucifer is telling jack is true, and it does remove the blame from the CONCEPT of lucifer

but the personality is lucifer is BAD AND ABUSIVE

like you don’t have to commit horrible crimes to be a bad person to be around

he corrupts the will of others, he tortures them emotionally, he manipulates them

none of those things are first-degree murder, or the great oppression of the entire human race, but they are Bad Things For A Father To Be

03:23

lucifer: i have done bad things, but i just want the opportunity to get better. doesn’t everybody? don’t you?

i actually feel sick ‘cause this is sooooooo very very dangerous

cas was right, talking to lucifer is bad

yeah, he says all the right things. anyone could give him the benefit of the doubt, and perhaps say sure, lucifer’s changed ‘cause he has a kid now, but he PROVED in bringing sam back to life that he hasn’t changed

and not just because of the “i’mma bring jack a gift he can’t refuse thing”, but the “i’mma kill sam again if he doesn’t agree to this” thing

lucifer is a manipulative, blackmailing, flaming trash baby and jack needs better. lucifer might treat jack himself with genuine love, but he’ll destroy everyone and everything around him in doing so

03:28

also? i relate so hard to the fact dean, sam, and cas all see and know the real lucifer, and lucifer’s putting on a show for jack

i think the people i’ve personally felt the least safe around in the past, especially growing up, are the people who are perfectly sweet when you’re in company and then become bullies as soon as the adults/parents/protectors are out of earshot

and there’s no way to prove to your protectors that you’re being hurt because all they see is “a nice person” or “ohh they’re such a sweetie”

i mean it’s the other way around for team free will and jack, where tfw see the real thing and jack sees the perfect angel but yeah

03:42

ketch: take the b&o railroad......straight to hell

good line tbh

03:43

angel to ketch: i’ve sent for an expert in these matters

probably gonna be other ketch

03:44

WHOA DARK CAS

WAY BETTER

he has a twitchy hamster face

where does misha get these ideas

i kinda wanna draw whiskers on dark!cas ???

03:46

THE FACT DEAN CAN GIVE CAS INSTRUCTIONS JUST BY FLUTTERING HIS EYELASHES

and the way he moves his eyes is so soft and gentle and subtle too

it makes my heart feel a thing tbh

even though cas is torturing someone

ugh nonverbal communication is so sexy

03:52

DARK CAS IS GERMAN ?????

and there’s........something misha-like in his smile?? that’s weird

03:54

I AM INTENSELY UNCOMFORTABLE

his two different eyes are cool though

maybe it’s just a trick of the light, or a very subtle contact lens

03:55

fuck yeah that coat

but why is he german, other than clearly being a nazi-inspired character

is it just me or is this legitimately the scariest of all misha’s characters

i want to run away and hide

actually i kinda wanna cry

03:59

that’s better

GOOD CAS, PLZ DESTROY NAZI CAS

04:02

ketch: “well helloo~”

ketch: “are you... actually saving me? about bloody time”

gayyyyyyyy

biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

also maybe definitely a destiel parallel from that time cas beat dean up to stop him saying yes to micheal

04:05

um?????

that smile when real!cas dragged the blade down dark!cas throat ?????

04:08

jack’s like LET ME DO THE THING EVERYONE’S BEEN TRYING TO DO FOR MONTHS/YEARS

IN ONE HOUR

04:11

fuck yeah mary

lookin all swish at the back of the war bus

04:12

????????????????????

??????????????????????????????????

hOW DID THEY GET THE BUS THROUGH THE TUNNEL THAT HAD THE VAMPIRES IN

DID THEY TAKE THE MOUNTAIN ROUTE THAT WOULD’VE TAKEN SEVERAL DAYS???

WHAT???????????????????

04:16

MY HEART IS POUNDING

C’MON EVERYONE YOU CAN DO IT!!!!

04:17

mary, bobby, ketch, charlie, jack are safe!!!! SAVE EVERYONE!!! QUICK QUICK

NOBODY LEFT BEHIND PLEASE

except lucifer maybe

except that would probably be bad in the long run

CAS IS SAFE

YAH C;MON!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I’M SO STRESSED RN

fuckin feel like i’m trying to pull ducklings one by one through a fence before a dog gets them FUCK

/sobs to self

04:19

I;M GONBA HEVA FUCKING HEART ATACK FUHF

04:20

WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE BLACK GUY

DO THESE WRITERS LIKE.. HAVE A FETISH FOR DEAD BLACK PEOPLE

WHAT THE FUCK IS THEIR PROBLEM

AND THE CAMERA ALWAYS LINGERS MORE WHEN IT’S THESE WRITERS I’M PRETTY SURE??? someone do a test, go find all the dead black people and check which writers/editors/directors leave the camera lingering for longest

istg these writers do it more often and for longer

04:24

aw MAAAAN :C

dean’s “gaBE nO” though. :c :c :c

04:26

everyone except gabe :c :c :c

(and no lucifer...........like i said, great now, baaaaaad in the long run)

04:29

nobody mentions cas but he’s still there, looking all pretty and being a good, wholesome bean

04:30

SEE? BAD

VERY BAD

04:33pm

it ends

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh man that was

........a lot

overall a good ‘un but STILL VERY STRESSFUL

i need a nice calming shower after that, i smell like !!!!!anxiety!!!!

9/10, loses a point JUST BECAUSE OF HOW STRESSFUL IT WAS TO WATCH. THIS WAS NOT FUN AT ALL

BUT STILL GOOD??

I DUNNO MAN I JUST WANT A SHOW WITH THESE EXACT CHARACTERS JUST HANGING AROUND AND BEING NICE TO EACH OTHER AND FALLING IN LOVE AND HEALING EACH OTHER EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY AND BAKING CAKES AND RAISING CHILDREN

to be fair though, my endless almost-what-i-wanted-but-not-quite dissatisfaction with this show keeps driving me to write 81+ fanfics where nice things happen

win-win????

but this show would still be better with dean/cas cuddles let’s be real

#Elmie watches things #13x22 #exodus #season 13 #spn spoilers #deadly duo #post of postiness

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randomnameless · 6 years

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Chapter 10 - Chronos to Miletos!

Welp in the last post i said Seliph ended up in Chronos, but no, he rekt’d Morrigan in Rados (even if i think you’re supposed to seize Chronos last?).

Anyways, after destroying evil people, Seliph meets his half-bro who’s playing the latest trendy game around.

But first, Seliph’s stepdad tries to do something.

Oldvis hasn’t seen Ishtar in ages! Naturally he asks how she’s doing.

kill that, it was just small talk. And, oh, surprise, Oldvis doesn’t care about the child hunts. So yes Amalda, your emperor hasn’t agreed with those things, you were right to trust him!

“i’ll tell him to go to his room and we’ll be over with this”

Oldvis uses the authority card. It’s never a good thing when one uses this card, because it means that, basically, you’re useless.

Daw, Oldvis didn’t want to bang her Julius! What do you mean by “is mine” btw? Your fiancée, your plaything, your tool?

Lil’ dastard. Oldvis pretends to be able to do something, or tries to use his big voice but Julius doesn’t care anymore.

This - Oldvis tried to banish his son, but it didn’t work. The Loptyr Sect prevented Julius from being banished? And banished where? The Empire is everywhere, unless Arvis wanted to send him to Travant. Maybe he wanted to send him to Archanea??

Oldvis looks so feeble here, it hurts. And Julius treats his dad like crap, bad Julius, bad!

:’(

That’s not a way to talk to your dad! Granted, Young!Arvis might also have been as dastardly as that to, say, Reptor so... I can’t say he earned this, but it’s also ironic.

I wonder what must happen in Oldvis’ head, is he really that beaten/broken? later we see that he is not, but here... what happened during those 7 years when Julius turned into Loptyr?

Of course you laugh, Arvis treated you like crap in chapter 5 so now you have your revenge!

Julius doesn’t join Manfroy in his Oldvis bashing. Maybe he doesn’t see the point. and OMG WHY IS HE MENTIONING JULIA???

OMFG NO DO YOU MEAN THIS USELESS CHARACTER WAS ACTUALLY THE PRINCESS OF GRANVALLE??? HOW COME NO ONE RECOGNISED HER??

I guess it was surprising, she only knew her kind and gentle brother and now he wants to kill her!

Finally we learn what happened to Deedee! Granted, Julius’ words here always make me sour.

Deedee accepted her death “to save Julia”?? It’s not like we have a kind of similar scenario in FE5, where a mother has to fight against one of children to protect another, but thanks for Nanna, Eyvel didn’t “accept her death” - and even if she had been able to use a rewarp staff to put her to safety, I doubt she’d have “accepted her death” without trying to help Mareeta. But Jugdral’s best mom has no peers in this world.

Ghoul yourself!

Yep! Do it now, we must do it now before you turn senile and decided to send her against the others, or some other shit plan like that.

Keeping this book under “the strictest lock” is a good plan indeed, if you didn’t knew where she was.

Julius/Loptyr takes no chances, the Book is locked, yes, but without anyone to wield it then he’s sure he’s going to be fine.

Note how Julius speaks about the avatars of Naga; Seliph isn’t a major blooded Naga peep so he doesn’t count? what about linoan?

Too bad Julius, he failed you. And by sundown, really? Talk about rushing things! Besides, Julius “supposes” he is needed?

Why? He just told you getting rid of Julia is the highest priority!

Julius doesnt’ like peasants, but he doesn’t care much about Seliph. And he is right, Seliph can’t do a thing to him without Julia, the worse he can do is breed with Linoan to bring another major Naga, but bar that he is as relevant as Duke Scipio. Peasants are going to revolt because Seliph is supposedly the true heir of Granvalle, but if he can’t kill Julius, then what?

Julius doesn’t believe Seliph is his older bro - it’s nothing but superstitious nonsense! He cares more about Julia, and dragon-wise/plot-wise, we should do the same but we’re following the adventures of Seliph.

I wonder if a Ced narrative would focus more on recovering Julia if he were to learn that his dad went missing because he had to protect the only person on the continent able to get rid of Loptyr.

A threat? No, he doesn’t. And seriously Julius, I know we’re in a game where sword emblem is broken, and theoretically Seliph could kill you with the Tyrfing, but even with the Tyrfing, and lore-wise, no, he can’t possibly be much a threat.

It’s pretty darn funny that Manfroy’s master plan fails because he believes Seliph is a real treat disregarding Julia completely. Manfroy breaks the 4th wall? Seliph is the Lord thus he must die, Julia is nothing.

Yep. The greater plot, regardless of what F!Lewyn tries to hammer, doesn’t give a fig about Seliph. Loptyr only cares about Julia.

Poor Manfroy.

Go Loptyr goons , defend Miletos!

You have a better idea than the one you just ordered? Oh Julius...

Yay! Kill a rebel!

Yippie!

I know this sounds odd in regards to FE5!Ishtar who’s more nuanced, but bear in mind that her mom escaped death a few turns ago so she’d be more than likely to want to kill some rebels. But sounding so happy about it? A bit Meh.

You have good eyes OIfey!

Poor OIfey has been the one living in exile for 17 years, he was just supposed to assist Sigurd and then he was thrown in this mess. I feel bad for him.

ARDEN WHO??? But note how Oifey mentions his peers, and the young knights of Chalphy so maybe Arden wasn’t a noble to begin with? He had just been a commoner who enrolled?

every last Chalphy face was a firendly one or you had other friends who weren’t from Chalphy?

Seliph comes from everywhere, save from the land he is supposed to inherit.

Oh :’(

Don’t be like that Seliph, do you think Prince Ulster of Verdane has any right, bar his blood, to rule over the barbarians there?

I’m sure some pious citizens would prefer Major Naga Empress on the throne of Granvalle, but this is only food for an AU.

Who? The citizens of Chalpy or the citizens of Granvalle? Because the Granvalle peeps were happy until Julius became mad, hell, some of them don’t even know about the child hunts etc. So you’re actually saying a lot of crap, unless you’re talking about the people of Chalphy, and if Palmark is any indication, they weren’t put to the noose as soon as Siggy kicked the bucket.

Again, we don’t see the common folk of Granvalle in FE5, but if we can compare with the randoms of Thracia, they’re not praying for the second coming of Quan, they just want to get on with their shitty lives without risking to be killed by random brigands etc. But maybe the people of Chalphy believe in Siggy the 2nd, even if, and i never stress it enough, when Siggy and pals died, they died as traitors.

Saying Siggy is a hero means saying Arvis is a dastard, and in the beginning or the Empire, Arvis was well loved, even now, in FE5, Arvis is still loved.

So really meh about this line.

I don’t know if this “fairy tale” is made up by OIfey to cheer Seliph up, or if some diehard Chalpy loyalists really think that, or if Oifey himself sees Seliph as the 2nd coming of Siggy who will avenge his dad and save the world.

Mmh. I’m not convinced.

Granted, everyone hates the child hunts, and they want them to stop. Are they all suddenly calling to the son of a traitor to help them?

Seliph has had enough of the propaganda described by OIfey, and asks about the greater plot. Maybe all the randoms don’t like Arvis, maybe some think he is Loptyr...

maybe those randoms forgot how their dark god instaured a relatively peaceful land for 10 years, or they just slander Oldvis because he is the Emperor and the Empire has turned into a shitty place.

Or maybe the people we liberated couldn’t go all Amalda like “i had faith in Arvis what happened to him” because we’re the LA and Seliph’s n°1 objective is to rekt him, so no one should express sympathy for the man?

“don’t worry, i have a pony now!”

Hahaha - the only one who can rekt the dark God isn’t even a Lord in this damn game

He looks scary?

Mmh... like what? You look into his eyes and you’re charmed or something?

Julius had a group of fangirls! How cute! Granted, i don’t know if what happened to them next could be called cute...

Fig off

What if i sacrifice you?!

Welp, Julius tries to kill the useless man his useless sister married. Kinslaying, again. Hopefully, Ulster dodged.

Seliph wanted to say hello to his brother.

Larcei cut their discussion and Julius grew bored.

what? an useless characted inheriting an useless land married to an useless woman? Ulster’s pretty happy with this life.

He won’t.

Fee finally talks to her trash dad. But trash dad has some kind of draconic circumstances to explain his behaviour.

If i were Fee i’d slap him because she had been the only one to be at her mom’s side when she died

Maybe she really slapped him then! GG Fee!

You were happy seeing him? He who abandonned you all? And returned with another child? you’re a nice person Fee.

:’(

He has never been the kindest person around, but ignoring her completely...

He knows what it is to get shunned by his own Mother though! I miss you Rahna

Constructive behaviour here, but Fee isn’t the adult so i can let it slide.

I had the same reaction. F!Lewyn is really... despicable, regardless of his nature.

Many playthoughs of FE4 came to the same conclusion, so no Fee, even if your mom married Arden, she’d still be dead.

At least he acknowldges it.

To this day, I still don’t understand his outburst. Did Erin met F!Lewyn and told him it was A-OK to go and do whatever with Julia to save the world, she wouldn’t tell her kids about it? Or did she know F!Lewyn wasn’t her husband anymore?

He is trying to push her away, because he knows he can’t be her dad anymore or something else? Or because he is just that awful?

The kids? What about the most important one? The one with Major Naga blood? She doesn’t even deserve a mention?

“damn those foot units”

At least we managed to be on time for those repairs to be done.

Onwards to victory

I mean - Onwards to Chalphy!

#fe4 run #FE4 #Seliph no #Julia no #Julius is adorable #fig you random old man #kill a rebel yay #Manfroy no #damn it stop believing the Chalphyian propaganda #listen to your prince gfdi #julia is the major threat not seliph #poor oifey though #maybe he is the one really believing those things #heck if Finn managed to make people Leif's was acclaimed as hero by his peope #when we saw that it wasn't the case #maybe Oifey thought he could do the same?#a good lie never hurt right?#if F!Lewyn's plan since the beginning was to mold Seliph into a hero-bait to hide the Julia then it'd have been great #everyone's focusing on Seliph meanwhile major naga gets her weapon and it's over #but nope #I feel bad for Oldvis though #no matter how much crap he did before he doesn't deserve to be treated like dirt #watch me say the contrary when i type the next post

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haseenaneedsalife · 6 years

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This “Speak out. Stay safe” initiative at Ruby’s school is so important. We never had something like this when and where I grew up. It’s considered taboo in a way and simply isn’t discussed. Although it informs kids about what to do with bullying, I’m going to focus in on the way they help kids feel more comfortable speaking out against sexual abuse.

When a really young child gets touched inappropriately by someone older, they may sense that it’s wrong. At the same time, they’re usually told to follow orders and obey authority figures, right? So you go ahead with whatever the adult is doing.

Many times you let them do what they’re doing out of fear. “What if other people find out, what will they say, will the adult get into trouble, or will I get into trouble myself too? If I tell someone else, will this adult get mad? I don’t want to make them angry… I don’t want to cause fights. Should I speak up or not, what’s the right thing?”

I’ve noticed that in brown families especially, it’s a lot more common to have parents that you can’t open up to and be honest with. I know many of my brown friends have understanding, caring parents, but majority of the time, parents in this culture aren’t easy to be honest with.

I’m going to specifically relate this all to Pakistani culture because I’m most familiar with it. And specifically to old fashioned, traditional type parents.

This Speak Out, Stay Safe initiative is great! It’s necessary. It’s needed. However, we need a change in culture too. We need to change the way old fashioned Pakistani families view and react to sexual abuse.

This happens in all cultures: kids don’t want to speak out because they don’t want anyone getting into trouble. They don’t want the family to fall apart. You know why the family would fall apart? Because it’s usually a family member or relative who carries out the abuse. Funny, huh? Kids are meant to trust the adults in their life, specifically those they’re familiar with. Kids look up to them for guidance and support. How confusing it must feel to have that trust ruined.

Boys get abused too, but I’m going to speak on behalf of girls because I can see how my own gender would be affected. But it does happen to boys too and it has a long lasting, negative impact…

With girls, it can mess with your head right into your adult years. It’s possible you could become sexually promiscuous because you feel all you have to offer is your body. It could be somewhat ingrained in your head that sexual “favours” are the most effective way to gain people’s affection and that it’s required in order to be loved or have some self worth. You become sort of addicted to the feeling of sleeping around with many guys, or flying from one guy to another. I’ve seen this happen to SOME girls who were molested or raped (emphasis on the word some because not all girls will react like this as they grow older). They often have low self esteem or could sleep easily with lots of guys because sex has become a way to gain that love and self-esteem which they may feel is missing inside them.

On the other hand, the girl might not become promiscuous but could instead feel uncomfortable with touch as she grows older. The severity of this can vary from feeling uncomfortable with normal hugs, all the way to being uncomfortable with actual intimate contact. She might find it deeply unsettling to sleep with a man because it brings back memories of what used to happen. She might develop issues with self image, have flashbacks or nightmares anytime she tries to become intimate with a man regardless of how much she loves him and feels safe with him (which then creates distance between the couple and causes even further issues), and so on. I’m not saying this is guaranteed and there’s a direct link between sexual abuse and promiscuity or low self esteem/worth, difficulties with intimacy, etc. I’m just saying that it increases the likelihood of these issues occurring for women, especially if they have no one to speak to because they’re too scared of the consequences of speaking out.

We can’t prevent sexual abuse because there will always be people who commit acts like this, just like there will always be people who commit murder. However, we CAN prevent the harmful effects on children from being long-lasting. We CAN prevent how long it goes on, if it’s more than a one time occurrence (which is usually the case. It normally happens multiple times or could continue on for years if the child never speaks up).

These school initiatives won’t work unless there’s a change in culture itself, especially with brown families. We need to make children feel comfortable and show them it’s okay to speak up about something like this. Discussion of sexual abuse, bullying, etc. needs to be seen as acceptable. We need to provide a safe household environment for them, to show them that they won’t get into trouble for speaking out against such acts. We need to show them we will keep them safe if they are being hurt by someone. We won’t yell at them or get mad; rather, we’ll be happy they’re being open and honest with us because it’s terrifying to admit these things in the first place. Therefore, they’re brave for doing so.

The problem is, many brown parents don’t create this safe, honest environment (and yes, many non brown parents have this problem too, but I’m specifically discussing my own culture here because like I said, I’m most familiar with it). Perhaps they believe that by avoiding such discussions, they can avoid facing the problem. As long as they’re blind to it and don’t hear about it happening, it’s like it never existed. You know what I mean? But that doesn’t stop or fix anything! And in some cases when it comes to REALLY old fashioned families, maybe from the village area, if the girl does speak up, she’ll be shunned and ridiculed or told to stay quiet about it anyway. The adult who abused her will get away with it in order to keep the peace and maintain the family’s honour.

This is disgusting. This talk of “family honour” needs to stop.

When I start a family, I’m going to make sure my kids know they can open up to me about whatever. I’m going to make sure they’re aware of certain sensitive topics that too many Pakistani families avoid discussing because of its taboo nature. Just because you don’t talk about sex, for example, doesn’t mean they will avoid it too. My kids will be smart, in the sense that they’ll know the difference between right and wrong. They will speak out against injustices, they will know what to do. I’m going to make sure they know how to defend themselves if anything happens, such as someone trying to mug them on the street. I’m going to help them become strong, wise, resilient. We can’t ever let this pattern of mistakes and bad parenting continue onto the next generation.

”Be the change you wish to see in the world.” Maybe as part of this Speak Out, Stay Safe initiative, they could invite parents to a parents only part of the day, and explain to them why it’s necessary to have these discussions with children, why it’s important to show ‘em they can open up to you about abuse without repercussions, judgment, fights, harm, etc. And to take their words seriously instead of hiding it under the rug. That would be useful in my neighbourhood since it’s filled with Asians lol. I know it’ll increase their costs and a host of other things, but in a brown majority neighbourhood, it’s even MORE important.

Just another note: many Pakistani families have moved on from this backwards, old fashioned mindset. They realise the importance of the point I’m trying to get across here. However, stupid families with stupid ideas still exist, just like in EVERY culture. You have good AND bad people. You have smart, forward thinking humans and backwards-thinking humans.

It’s our responsibility to inform those who aren’t aware of the flaws in their mindset/behaviour, or are still stuck in their old ways of thinking, especially if their way of thinking is causing harm to others.

I know that’s an idealistic way of thinking; many people never listen when you present them with a counter argument to theirs, or when you provide constructive criticism as to why their behaviour or thoughts contain flaws. If they refuse to listen, as in this case, then at least try to avoid making the same mistakes in your own life. But never give up on spreading the message and informing more people, having respectful debates, and so on. You never know, you may convince some people to listen, understand, and change their mind or improve… Thankfully, my mum is a much better parent today and she speaks to Ruby about these sorts of issues. As a result, Ruby knows she can open up to mum and I about anything without judgment or backlash. She also knows I’m ready to kick anyone’s ass for her.

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blaperile · 7 years

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Hiveswap Episode 1 Reaction Part 14: All Your Basement Are Belong To Us

Aight, time to head into the basement! Starting at 7:55 PM here, let's see how much of the basement we get done today! And also, I'm pretty curious to see if we'll be diving into our first strife today! I remember seeing footage in trailers of a monster inside the basement, and we haven't been in a strife yet SO FAR (plus, we've just got the flashlight working and have both the tap shoes and ballet slippers on us, so this is probably a great time to get into action for the first time! I'm very curious what that's going to be like, how it will work to actually do these battles. Is it going to be anything like the early Guardian/Imp strifes in Homestuck (with a few options on what to do), will it just be a cutscene, or will it be something more dynamic? Let's see!

Well, here we are! It's surprisingly light down in the basement, especially on the stairs, I'm not sure why Joey was so insistent on having her flashlight working before going down here. :P But uh... that music though! That's surprisingly haunting and dark, much more than in the rest of the house. No monster to be seen though, for now. Maybe that giant monster that chased Joey into her house was the only one that entered the house, for now, and is the monster that is stuck in the trophy room? Perhaps more monsters will only enter as soon as that kitchen window gets broken? ANYWAY, let's look around a bit! First of all, eesh, that lowest step on the basement stairs is broken in half. That looks pretty dangerous. Apparently their washing machine is in the basement? That doesn't seem very handy, considering you'd need to go up/down those basement stairs every time you want to do the laundry. Though I imagine it helps to not have too much issues with the noise upstairs, haha. And hey, there's a letter hanging on the wall. I can read a few words, but not all of it. I wonder if we can zoom in on it? And yup, there's that Typheus minion thingy! Which, now that I think about it, does suggest that Grandpa's visited the Sburb session already prior to finding Baby Jade. Pfff, there's also a bunch of hats of Grandpa there. This doesn't seem like an ideal place to be keeping them, to me. :P Those Hawaiian dolls also look pretty silly. Is... is that a narwhal trophy? 0_0 And of course, a fair share of blue lady portraits here too. I've been noticing something peculiar though. Throughout the house (especially in the living room and in the basement) seem to be a lot of stuff of Grandpa, but a severe lack of stuff that seems to be of Ms. Claire's, other than for example the jewelery box. Are the rest of that stuff mostly in the other part of the house, or did Grandpa get rid of her stuff after she died? :/ Alright, time to examine some stuff. Well, at least their washing machine is apparently still functional. I imagine they'd have a hard time replacing if it got broken, considering the lack of adults around. All-Season Magic Spice Mix && Washing machine ==> Pfff, yes. That's indeed a pretty preposterous idea. Cherub Key && Washing machine ==> And remember kids, always remove your priceless irreplacable heirlooms before doing your laundry! xD Tap shoes && Washing machine ==> ...Now I'm slightly curious if it's possible to active the washing machine once we've turned the power back on. :P Or at least, if it perhaps gives a different bit of narration then when trying this item combination again. Ballet slippers && Washing machine ==> No dryer? Welp, that can't be good. Ahahaha, that piece of narration when examining the laundry. When it first said "all neat and folded" I was immediately like "Eeeeeeh? That doesn't look very neat nor folded", and then the next bit confirmed exactly what I was thinking. :P Batteries && Laundry ==> I just want to find an excuse to say JOEY CLAIRE, EXTRAORDINAIRE whenever I can now. xD Pogs && Laundry ==> I didn't expect this nonsense combination would result into some more sadstuck. :( Poor Joey... Cherub Key && Laundry ==> Well, at least polishing the key with the sock didn't cause some more weird behaviour from it. Tap shoes && Laundry ==> Huh? I wonder if that's a box we'll find somewhere else in the basement. Maybe this is a hint that if we use the tap shoes on it it will cause an item to fall out of it, like with that box in the hallway closet? Hehehe, I find it pretty funny that we can't examine that Typheus minion in the background. Let's just ignore it, shall we? xD That unsettling knight with the shorts can be examined though... All-Season Magic Spice Mix && Knight ==> Well, as long as it doesn't get haunted, that is. :P Pogs && Knight ==> Oh jeez, why do the pogs keep causing more "Joey reflecting on life sadstuck". D: Cherub Key && Knight ==> Oh yes, I'm sure those knights would definitely have some KEY issues about it. ;D Tap shoes && Knight ==> I immediately shrugged off the fire-breathing lizard thing as just a funny joke referencing dragons, but plainWonder does have a good point that this could be a sneaky hint to that mysterious axolotl creature we saw in very early concept-art! Ballet slippers && Knight ==> All Joey needs is some shades now and then she's the punning master. B) Examining the Hawaiian dolls now... OOOOOOOOOOOOOH, well will you look at that! That's some interesting background information!!! This confirms that Grandpa HAS already been to the Pacific! Perhaps that for some reason he knew the Frog Temple was somewhere over there, but didn't know where exactly, and thus spent a long time exploring until he finally found it? If that's where he's been putting his main focus, that would certainly explain why he's always gone from home for such a long time! The Typheus minion does suggest he's already been to the session, so presumably by now he's found the Frog Temple and has made his first visit there? And maybe now he's mainly doing research into the Frog Temple and how to develop Sburb? Anyway, we've advanced a bit more to the left of the basement now, and I suddenly noticed those colorful dolls in those boxes in the background... Are those Squiddles? :O Batteries && Hula girls ==> Yes, that ukelele is presumably acoustic... and presumably fake. :P Pogs && Hula girls ==> Huh? Really? I mean, earlier on after the references to a Japanese variant I looked it up and found pogs might have originated in Japan centuries ago, but perhaps Hawaii simply made a similar thing? Pet treats && Hula girls ==> Yeah, they're pretty ridiculously big. Kind of like the Houseguests, actually. And especially that blue lady doll at Jade's house. Cherub Key && Hula girls ==> I'm sorry Joey, what are we doing to you! xD Tap shoes && Hula girls ==> Another hint that we're supposed to use the tap shoes on that pile of boxes! God, I wonder what's going to happen there. On one hand I think an item might fall out, like in the hallway closet, but plainWonder could be right too that a monster is hidden over there! Oh hey, we can zoom in on the blue lady portraits! Which, like plainWonder just noticed, indeed resemble the ones we've already seen! ...Oh. Oh dear. plainWonder's got a point, what Joey's saying here about that it's okay to ignore something supposedly precious to you as long as you're paying attention to something kind of similar... that could reference how in just a year, Grandpa will apparently completely abandon Joey and Jude and instead focus all his attention on Jade. That's pretty awful. :/ ...Oh no. Oh hell no. I also just realized the same could be said about Nanna: from what Nannasprite told us, it seemed like Grandpa cared a lot about her. And yet... he abandoned her and never came back to her, and instead he's admiring all these blue lady substitutes. That is freaking terrible. God, Grandpa.... :/ On the other hand... I'm suddenly thinking of Jake again, post-retcon Jake to be precise. He felt that he'd screwed up with everyone he cared about, and for a while decided he'd be better off alone and they'd be better off without him. Maybe Grandpa went through a similar phase, but unlike Jake he had no ACTUAL friends who could talk to him about it and have him make up with those? So instead Grandpa continued down this path, isolating himself more and more and abandoning Joey and Jude, just like he'd done with Nanna before. Welp... Again, I reiterate what I said before. I'd love to see things from HIS perspective some day. We know Nanna's side of the story, we know Joey's and soon Jude's, we know Jade's, and we even know Jake's... but we don't know what HE thinks about all this. Anyway, wow. That was surprisingly deep. Moving on! The narwhal now... Welp, yeah, it's a big house to dump a lot of stuff in. I guess the same could be said about Jade's home, haha...ha. Pet treats && Narwhal ==> Even in death... this narwhal won't eat pet treats. :P Random thought here: those tubes in the background, are those (or at least one of them) part of Jude's tube highway? I mean, the kitchen did seem to suggest the tubes went further down to the basement, at least. Huh, looks like we can't examine the box pile in the background. Then perhaps the one we're supposed to tap dance at is further to the left in the basement? Let's go a bit further... HOLY SHIT THOSE ARE BETTY CROCKER BOXES. D: Fortunately with the spoon logo and not with the fork logo, of course. But... eesh. I mean, yeah, I guess he did inherit the company like Nannasprite told us, but still. Hmm... the fact that there's actually only one pile of this stuff in the entire house and dumped on top of each other like thrash makes me wonder what Grandpa actually thinks of Betty Crocker, considering what Nanna told us he and she felt like about the Batterwitch. Hehe, no actual Betty Crocker logo on the boxes. Because of copyright, probably. But I like that they're still very recognizable, with the red spoon logo. And hey, there's the thing to turn the power back on! So this is probably the pile of boxes the narration was hinting at that we needed to tap dance on, and I suppose it will cause the pile to collapse and the switch behind it to become accessible? Let's first examine that mug in the foreground though... Eesh, looks like Mom taps into Grandpa's booze sometimes. Welp. Kind of like how Roxy tapped into her own mom's booze stash. You can even see some stuff inside of the mug apparently... yuck. Pfff, plainWonder's got a point that the caption on the mug ("I love 'staches") is probably supposed to reference this booze stash. Oh my god, those clever bastards. Cherub Key/Tap shoes && Mug ==> Yeah, while Mom is probably indeed a great babysitter and cares a lot about them, just like she'd later do with Rose, it's still clear that she's got some issues of her own. So, some skiing stuff over there! I wonder who owned it, was it Grandpa's or Ms. Claire's? Batteries && Skiing stuff ==> Welp, another combination that wasn't implemented. Cherub Key && Skiing stuff ==> Sudden resolution out of nowhere! Looks like Joey doesn't know either who this stuff belonged to. If it WAS indeed Ms. Claire's, then that's one of the few personal belongings of her that still seem to be around here! That purple cloth around the skiing stuff reminds me a lot of Eridan's cape with Kanaya's blood actually, haha. Ballet slippers && Skiing stuff ==> Well well, so Joey doesn't just practice ballet, she also studies the history of it! That's interesting. Oh boy, time to acknowledge the Betty Crocker pile! Let's first examine the box at the side, I'm not sure if it will provide a different reaction or not? Hehehe, a surprisingly small reaction to it. Looks like it's just general cooking stuff then and not really belongings of Grandpa related to Betty Crocker? Batteries && Betty Crocker box ==> NAMEDROP! :D I guess they probably couldn't use the logo, but referencing the name wasn't really a problem? Anyway, I love the reference to how in B2 Betty Crocker does much more than selling just baking stuff. Cherub Key && Betty Crocker box ==> Huh, okay, that's interesting to know that Ms. Claire was a good cook but this stuff ISN'T hers. Did Ms. Claire for some reason not like Betty Crocker and/or find it suspicious? Aaaaaaand it looks like while Joey knows what Betty Crocker is, she doesn't know that her pa inherited the company. :/ Let's wait with using the tap shoes for now... Hey look, examining the pile provides a different reaction! Okay then, then it should be safe to use the tap shoes on the box already. Tap shoes && Betty Crocker box ==> The hint can be hardly more obvious than this. xD Okay, let's look at the pile! Pfff, a small hint that Betty Crocker was selling some shady stuff back in B1 too. Also, apparently "circuit breaker" is the word for the thing behind it! Trying to "move the junkpile" screams at us louder than ever that we need to use the tap shoes on this thing, haha. Batteries && Betty crocker pile ==> I can't believe I almost missed the "step up your game" pun/hint. xD Pogs && Betty Crocker pile ==> It's fun to pretend. Kind of like Terezi's investigation of Tavros' corpse despite already knowing Vriska did it. :P Pet treats && Betty Crocker pile ==> Ahhh, the eternal Homestuck question of whether or not magic is real. Never gets old. :D Oh boy, time to use the tap shoes now and free up the circuit breaker! OH SHIT SUDDEN (short) CUTSCENE. Well, that came unexpected! It's taken a while, considering this is the first cutscene since the opening animation, hahaha. I assume the next one might be once we encounter a monster? I like how all the boxes are now moved to the side. Alright, let's examine the circuit breaker! I assume once we turn the power back on we'll get a conversation with Jude? Pffff, I love how every single item combination is just basically screaming at Joey to FLIP THE DAMN SWITCH ALREADY. xD Just before we actually go and flip the switch, I'm starting to wonder how the power went out in the first place. Did a monster come down here or something? Which raises the question, is it still here??? Anyway, let's get on with it and FLIP THE SWITCH. I wonder if it will immediately trigger another cutscene or not. Maybe it will just turn the power back on right here and that's it, or are we getting a montage of the power going back on throughout the house? Or maybe even summon a monster to this location and cause our first strife. 0_0 LET'S GO. ... THAT SURE WAS A CUTSCENE ALRIGHT. Oh man, turning the power back on startled a monster DOWN HERE! I have a very bad feeling that if we head back now, we'll suddenly be jumped on by this monster and WILL ENGAGE IN OUR FIRST STRIFE. This is really exciting!!! On another note though, I like how the basement looks right now, with the power on. I only just noticed that ridiculous giant purple doll in that pile in the background. Oh shit... I just noticed a black moving thing just at the edge of the frame to the right, on the blue lady portraits. THE MONSTER IS RIGHT THERE. I also just noticed that the black chain in the background is no longer shaking, like it first was before we turned the power back on. Moving to the right ever so slowly.... god that monster looks scary. IT HAS SO MANY ARMS. Anyway... it's time. Time to face our destiny and face this monster in our very first strife!!!!!! ...Wait no, before we do, I just noticed how the back part of the Typheus minion looks a bit different in this light now, for a second I thought it was a giant Smuppte doll with a giant nose xD OKAY. THAT'S ENTIRELY ENOUGH OF ALL THIS STALLING LET'S GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD *One strife later* Holy... CRAP. That was AWESOME!!!! First of all, I love how the Strife started out like the typical Homestuck strifes, with the "STRIFE!!!" text. It's just so awesome to see the return of that. I absolutely LOVE how Joey started out in an abjuring pose much like John's during the early Homestuck acts!!! That's an amazing callback. And then, all those punny attack names! God, there were a lot of them. Both from our side AND the snake's!!! What I want to say is that I think it's really cool that we could use EVERY item during this strife, and get some unique reactions out of those!!! That just provided me with an immense amount of nostalgia to John's first Imp Strife, where he basically used all items in his inventory against the Imp! I was kind of surprised that we couldn't use the flashlight itself against the monster, nor combinations of the items, but nonetheless, this was really cool! After we first used the tap shoes, for a short time we were pretty clueless on what we needed to do to abscond! We tried the tap shoes again a few times, trying to click on the other parts of its body, or when it's looking away. It took us a bit to figure out that we could use the ballet slippers to abscond AFTER we'd first used the tap shoes, haha. And the music!!! God, that was really cool strifing music. Man, this little Strife makes me so pumped for any upcoming strifes in the future! Alright, let's quit here for today. It's already 10:05 PM, next time we'll see what Joey and Jude have to say to each other now that the power is back on and this strife has happened. Come to think of it... it's interesting how we couldn't use the walkie talkie in the basement, just like we couldn't use it in the trophy room. Do those monsters somehow disturb radio waves? That's an interesting thing to think about.

#Homestuck #Hiveswap #reaction #liveblog #Hiveswap liveblog #Joey #Grandpa #Ms. Claire #Mom

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thepillareddark · 7 years

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Baby Humans vs Baby Whales: Is Play related to Art?

I went whale watching in the waters off of Cape Cod, it was magical etc.

The guy who was taking our tour told us that we were getting particularly spoilt today: he ended up counting something like 30 total individual whales, including four finbacks (the second largest animal that there is, full stop) and over 20 Humpbacks. This isn’t common, especially for ones’ first whaling (!) trip.

Amongst those humpbacks was a baby, or “calf”, who, instead of joining the seven (!) other humpbacks who were feeding using bubble nets, was just doing jumps, or “breaches”, behind them. It was quite the show. The guy with the mic was saying stuff like “Don’t let the seven feeding whales distract you from the baby calf breaching over there”. He also said something else:

“If you’re wondering why baby whales breach, it’s because it’s basically a play activity. They do it for fun. It’s because they’re happy.”

He then added:

“Well, we think it’s because they’re happy. I know I’d be happy if I was jumping for joy like that.”

This opens up just SO many questions.

We tend to think of whales as one of the smart animals. For humans, this list roughly includes: Apes, dogs, cats, elephants, some people say cows, and dolphins. Studies have shown (I haven’t read any studies) that a lot of animals can have thoughts that constitute laughter, spiritual feelings, boredom, love, metacognition, and awe. But a baby playing seems to really bring this home, because as soon as we see a baby whale playing we have to imagine a creative, artistic consciousness in that animal. One of our first thoughts, paraphrased, as soon as we see play, is “Can whales make art?”, because the next step after playing is art. Let’s look at this in humans:

When baby humans play they often make rudimentary imaginative interpretations of their environments: they play at being someone, like mum or dad, or they do crayon drawings of houses, people, animals etc. Eventually these interpretations (whether the kid continues art or not, obviously) develop into something more individuated, perhaps things which aspire less to imitate reality and is more genuinely artistic. Without wanting to get bogged down in the definition of “art”, by art in animals I kind of mean something which is extra to survival, and which has a kind of creative or interpretative role. Even basic play is in a sense this, because there has to perhaps be a level of metacognition involved in creating entertainment for oneself, there has to at least be a level of creativity involved in looking at the world around you and deciding how to make fun. A working definition of art might just be something which gives an insight inside someone’s head. Play and art can be understood as the organism painting what their consciousness is onto something outside of them so that we can all see it.

In that instant when the baby whale jumps, that’s exactly what it does: it’s asserting, in this case to the humans that are watching it, it’s interior reality, the honest to God, hearstopping self-awareness which sits inside that weird, turtle like, rubbery body, that can move through the water under the boat and which has a kind of D.H. Lawrence mind, a big burst of light right in the deep of the water, which is largely blind and which sometimes visits the surface to do jumps. It’s amazing to us when we find out that it doesn’t have any sort of behavioural reason because we then have to accept that the jump is a kind of creativity.

This is reinforced because the baby whale sometimes does half a jump, sometimes a full one, sometimes twists, sometimes not. But here’s the crux of my point: we don’t know how far we can justify that single playful action as art, or as evidence of a more full consciousness. Because it’s a communication of that consciousness, a kind of interpretation of the world around it, in a funny sense. But imagine if we put a man inside that whale and then gave him a single button he could press to make the whale jump, and then tasked him with explaining to us, by the medium of slightly varied jumps, that there was a man inside the whale. It would be impossible.

This would be impossible because there’s only so many ways to vary a baby-whale jump, only so many ways a whale can keep itself entertained when jumping. It can’t record anything, it can’t make marks on cave walls, and it can’t communicate with humans. The guy in the whale would have to establish a morse-code like language and so on, while also taking time to feed etc. We don’t know whether it wants to communicate or not, of course, but this would be unknowable anyway. Imagine if a baby whale came right up to boats and exhausted itself trying to get fisherman to pay attention. Instead of saying “Oh, look, a baby whale wants to express its intelligence and talk to humans”, we would say, probably quite rightly, that it was just curious, or lost, or scared, or disturbed, or that its behaviour was broken.

All it really has to show off to us with is jumps. And here’s the bigger problem: we don’t actually know if the jumps are artistic or just behavioural. So maybe the whale only likes the sensation of being in the air and then hitting the water, maybe there’s a programmed endorphin response for doing it so that the baby whale can learn how to swim fast and breach, maybe we have to acknowledge the awkward reality that it’s something that’s more mechanically pleasurable like masturbation, and not artistically pleasurable like writing a poem.

Again, we can’t know any of this, but the immediate impact of hearing that guy say “I know I’d be happy if I was jumping for joy like that”, and thinking that there was a happy baby whale out there, or a whale that was trying to get a better look at the boats, remains. Adults don’t do it as much: maybe it’s too tiring, maybe they’re less curious, or less bothered by trying to shake off parasites. Maybe they do it to scare off sharks.

But maybe adult whales don’t jump more rarely because it expends so much energy when they get big.

Maybe by the time a baby whale is an adult one, it’s just become bored of jumping.

Love,

Alex

p.s. watch this video and tell me that that first baby whale jump isn’t just for fun: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFa3x13d5Co

#whales #animal behaviour #cape cod #play #idk what tags or area of tumblr this could even fall under #you know this is just alex bridge b sides right?

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eldritchsurveys · 5 years

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153.

[[ Random Survey Questions // By x-hallie-x]]

1. Have you ever been in an unconventional relationship (long distance, polyamorous, same gender, age gap, etc)? if so, what challenges did this relationship present, and were they worth overcoming? >> I’ve been in all of the examples presented. The challenges remain the same across the board -- communication errors and competing access needs.

2. Would you ever consider something like a poly relationship, assuming everyone involved was alright with it? What are some things you think you would or wouldn’t like about it? >> My relationship is already non-monogamous, although neither of us is actively seeing anyone else in meatspace currently. (”Polyapathetic” is the word I use for it sometimes, lol.) There isn’t anything I don’t like about it.

3. What is the most unhealthy relationship (whether friendship or romantic) you’ve ever had? What made it so unhealthy? Do you still talk to each other? >> Probably the one with the creator of this survey, incidentally. I used to not say anything for the sake of “not causing drama”, but I see where I did myself a disservice in the attempt of doing him a service, one that I don’t necessarily owe him after what he put me through. People can make their own decisions about whether to be friends or lovers with him, after all, and it’s not like I’m running around telling people not to be friends or lovers with him. By all means, if y’all get along, I’m actually glad. He’s sorely in need of healthy interaction, he just definitely can’t get it from me. It was unhealthy because for me he was excessively clingy, demanding, and emotionally manipulative, whereas my attachment style is distant and avoidant, and neither of those styles work well together except, I’d imagine, in unique cases (probably aided by therapy, tbh). He made great demands upon my time and energy and made me feel like I wasn’t allowed to reclaim that time and energy. And so on and so forth. 4. Have you ever been abusive in any way? Were you able to change or make amends, or, in general, what do you think people should do to make amends in that situation? >> I don’t think I’ve been abusive. I know I’ve been accused of being such, and I wouldn’t argue with it because that... doesn’t solve the problem. But from my point of view, having repeatedly educated myself on what abusive behaviour looks like, I can’t see myself fitting into that model. I’ve been unhelpful, reactive, aloof/distant, and callous -- but not abusive. I think the best way to make amends for abusive behaviour is to change one’s behaviour. And change it consistently. And, most importantly, realise that the person you hurt is under no obligation to forgive you or let you back into their lives. If they do, great -- do not squander their forgiveness. If they don’t, that’s their right. You still owe it to yourself, and the people who are in your life, to be better.

5. Have you ever forgiven someone for being abusive or allowed someone toxic back into your life? Did this person change for the better or not? >> Yeah. No.

6. Do you feel like your age matches your emotional development? If not, what age level or maturity level do you feel best represents where you’re at? >> I don’t know, because I’m not sure how that’s measured. I just am where I am, and am doing my damn best. 7. Do you feel like you’re lagging behind your peers in terms of development or do you feel that you’re more ahead of the bunch? >> I think I’m supposed to see myself as “lagging behind”, but that’s all bullshit. I just am where I am, like I said. 8. What is one thing about your personality that embarrasses you, but you can’t seem to change it no matter how hard you try? Have other people called you out on this embarrassing thing? >> I don’t know, really. It embarrasses me to want attention and reassurance and solace, but I don’t think that’s like, a personality trait that needs changing. I’m just embarrassed about it because I was taught to be. 9. When was the last time you did something “meant” for children? Do you think it’s okay for adults to do these things (ie. watch cartoons, have stuffed animals, dress in cute clothing, etc), or do you think there’s an age beyond which it becomes unacceptable - and if so, why? >> Man, I do and enjoy a lot of things that people who’ve bought into the bullshit would say is “for children”. If you seriously believe it’s unacceptable for an adult to do something as fucking benign as watch cartoons or sleep with a teddy bear, then your opinion ain’t worth squat to me anyway. 10. What was the last thing to “trigger” you (as in, in a true mental health sense, I’m being serious here) and how did you cope with it? What kinds of things do you tend to find triggering? What do you do either avoid or face your triggers? >> I don’t remember. I don’t often acknowledge my triggers when they actually occur, which is a separate issue. 11. If you’re diagnosed with anything, do you feel that it accurately represents what you’re experiencing? >> I don’t know what my diagnosis is. I’ve been diagnosed as a number of things over the years, either because of incompetent mental health professionals or a lack of transparency on my part (but most often an awful combination of both). I think any “disorder” I have would have to be a developmental or neurological one, because a lot of who I am has been like this for as long as I can remember (and has only been exacerbated by events that happened later). 12. What is a complaint you have about the mental health industry or about the type of treatment you’ve received from a mental health service? Have you ever had any particularly bad therapy experiences? >> One complaint is that a lot of mental health professionals don’t... like, do the work. They’ll just see someone once or twice and go “oh you clearly have [x]” just based upon some cursory questioning and observation. That’s not logical or ethical to me. I’ve had so many negative experiences in MH that at this point I now have trauma related to that -- which makes it a fucking riot to try to go to therapy! “Hi, first you’ll have to work through my trauma related to therapists before we can get down to the actual therapy.” Ha! 13. When was the last time you realized you might be the source of a problem and NOT someone else? >> Actually, I usually take that possibility under advisement (it’s an awkward but sometimes useful side effect of having been treated as a scapegoat). Unfortunately, sometimes I’m not the problem, and I have a hard time really convincing myself that no, I didn’t necessarily do anything to deserve the treatment I got.

14. In an average week, how often do you leave the house? Generally, how many miles would you say you travel in that time? >> Usually on the weekends because we go grocery shopping and down to Wayland to do laundry. During the week, maybe once or twice, on a good week. There’s really just nowhere to go. 15. Have you ever made a mistake or did something you were too embarrassed or ashamed to tell anyone else? Did you eventually tell anyone? Did their reaction help you feel better or worse about your secrets? >> Probably, but I don’t remember any specific examples. 16. Do you think you’re easy to open up to or do people confide in you often? >> No, I’m apparently not easy to open up to because people generally don’t. I guess. I don’t know how any of this shit works. 17. When was the last time you felt accomplished? When was the last time you felt like you failed at something? >> I don’t remember the last time I felt accomplished. I mean, I remember the last time I did something that I needed to do, but I didn’t feel better once it was over. I guess that’s part of why it’s so difficult for me to do things I need to do but don’t want to -- I don’t get the reward feedback from my own brain afterwards. >:| 18. When was the last time you worked really hard on something only to have it get ruined in some way? Did you start over and try again, or did you give up entirely? >> I don’t remember. I haven’t put that much effort into anything lately. 19. What are some minor physical discomforts that really bug you (eyelash in your eye, a wedgie, rumpled socks, etc)? >> All of the above, and also dry skin and chapped lips. 20. Are you prone to talking during shows? Does it bother you if other people talk? Is there someone you know with a television-watching style so different to yours that you can’t stand to watch with them? >> I’m not prone to it, necessarily, but if I’m with someone who doesn’t mind it or also does it, then I’ll do it. I can go either way. Except when it’s a show that requires a lot of focus, then I need it to be quiet. And I don’t like watching things with people that just like to make negative commentary like they’re a movie critic or something. 21. Are you ever afraid to admit to liking something because you’re afraid other people will judge you for it? What is the worst that’s ever happened as a result of you liking something different from the crowd? What about the best thing that’s come as a result of a unique interest? >> I mean, being judged for things I like has been happening for so long that I’m mostly just used to it. But sometimes if I’m really excited about something, or in a certain mood, I won’t talk about it because if someone says one negative thing I’m going to fucking explode on them, lmao. Let people fucking like things, god damn. I don’t know what the worst thing is, but this is kind of funny in retrospect (but in the moment it was hella aggravating): when I was in high school I was really obsessed with the band Creed, and as we all know, Creed was Nickelback before Nickelback existed as far as popular opinion goes. So on the school bus, the kids at the back of the bus would sing that song Higher in the most exaggerated voices possible to heckle me. SMH. 22. If someone judges you, are you more inclined to react defensively, offensively, or indifferently? Do you often judge other people in an overt way, or do you keep most of your judgments to yourself? >> I’m either defensive or indifferent depending on what mood I’m already in and who the person is. I actually make an effort not to judge what other people are into or what kind of people they are, because I feel like it’s an improper and rude way for me to spend my time. Also, Golden Rule. 23. What kind of image, if any, do you hope you project to the world? Like, what qualities do you hope other people are able to see in you? Do you ever feel like you’re coming across all wrong? >> I don’t know what kind of image I want to project. I’m not sure I care about that as much as I care about being valuable to individuals that I want to be valuable to. And one person might value one thing about me while another person might value a completely different thing, so I can’t just pick a trait or two and say “these are the valuable traits”. It’s all relative. And yeah, I feel like my intentions and my actions don’t match up a whole lot, mostly because of the 5966589 layers of trauma-based behaviour I’m operating through. But, you know. It be like that. 24. When was the last time you felt like someone was completely misunderstanding your feelings or intentions? Were you eventually able to explain and clarify? How do you react when you feel seriously misunderstood? >> Constantly, lmao. I don’t remember the last specific example, though. Sometimes I get an opportunity to explain and clarify, but honestly, a lot of the times I don’t even bother because I assume the person either doesn’t care or won’t understand. I usually shut down or withdraw when I feel intensely misunderstood. 25. Have you ever remained good friends with an ex? >> I tried it, it didn’t work. Only with Anubis, who I only dated for like a month and a half anyway. 26. What was the last reason you decided you didn’t want to do something? >> Probably poor executive function, as usual. Or low confidence. 27. What is something about you that makes you feel very different from other people (and I don’t mean like a food preference like pineapple on pizza, i mean core level different, where you can’t find this quality in many others)? >> You know, I’m not sure. Because I do feel intensely alienated and not at all like other people sometimes, but all my traits and experiences taken individually are traits and experiences I’ve seen elsewhere. I know other people who have shared consciousnesses, and even people who interact with their inworlders similarly to how I interact with mine. I know that my terribly broken attachment style and inability to connect is not uncommon, especially among other people who were also emotionally neglected as children. And I know that the feeling of alienation, of feeling Very Different from others, is equally common -- many of us feel that way, and we all have well-worked-out justifications for that feeling. But, really? I really believe that’s just part of being alive and sapient. And it’s a foundation for art -- trying to find a means to connect with someone, anyone, when we don’t feel like it’s ever going to be possible. 28. Do you have a negative view of mentally ill people, or are you mentally ill yourself? Do you ever call others crazy, insane, etc? Do you ever call yourself those things? >> I don’t have a negative view of mentally-ill people, although I unfortunately am often driven to have a negative view of myself for being mentally-ill. Stupid brains. I do call myself crazy and insane but “mad” is actually my preferred adjective. I try not to use those terms for others unless they’re explicitly okay with it and I’m fucking around with them or something (which is still an iffy thing, but you know). 29. What is one way you often put yourself down? What is one compliment you often give yourself? Do you think you compliment or insult yourself more? >> I put myself down about being an intensely lonely and vulnerable person, because that makes total sense, right? SMH. I also put myself down for being sensitive to noise and light and all that other stuff that I really can’t control even though I wish I could. And for other random shit that I can’t remember just now. I don’t usually compliment myself a lot, but Can Calah does that work for me, which is one reason why I’m intensely grateful for him -- someone’s gotta do it in order to teach me how to do it to myself, and he seems more than up for the task. It’s a pretty common thing inworld -- I berate myself for something, and he counters with impeccable logic and compassion. Never fails. 30. Does it bother you to have people comment on what you’re eating, or do you not care? What are some comments that would bother you, if any? Do you ever comment on what other people are eating or make assumptions about their intakes? >> People don’t usually comment on what I’m eating. I’m not even sure what someone could say that would bother me -- maybe making fun of me for not cooking full meals all the time, or something, in which case fuck right off. I don’t comment on what other people eat, that’s none of my business and I actually don’t even fucking care. Eat whatever you like, it’s your life and your body and your business.

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