#apparently I’m not done being mad about this I’m sorry guys I gotta vent | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

qobiin · 5 years

Note

Ooooh! For the Irondad. Maybe something with "Rubbing circles on mine’s back" and sensory overload with Peter? And tony helping him?

nothing really matters to me (but you)

pairings: irondad (peter & tony), minor peternedmj (mj x ned x peter)

genre: fluff, some whump

warnings: flash being a jerk, sensory overload, mild hurt/comfort

word count: 2040

summary: “Penis, didn’t you hear me? Where’d you get the fake MIT sweatshirt from?” Flash yells, even though he’s only a few steps behind them.

Peter looks down his front, only now noticing his outfit: black Converse, blue jeans, and Tony’s MIT jumper. Nothing outlandish or out of the ordinary if you ask him…

Wait.

Tony’s MIT jumper?

“Hey, Penis! Where’d you get the sweater? Steal it somewhere?”

Flash’s voice is loud enough to make Peter startle, only Ned’s arm around his shoulders keeping him from jumping.

In all fairness, Flash’s voice probably isn’t that loud, but Peter has a splitting headache that his overloaded senses are not helping with. Everything is dialed up to an eleven at the moment and his entire body hurts. Flash is annoying on a good day, but today isn’t shaping up to a good one and Flash is going to get on his nerves before long. Peter just knows he will.

Ned nudges him to get his attention and Peter focuses on him instead. His boyfriend’s heartbeat is strong and soothing. His scent of clean laundry, green apples, and a spice Peter can’t quite place permeates the air around them. Everything that is Ned invades his senses and grounds him. The school hallway is bustling with activity and a thousand different smells, but Peter’s able to push past that thanks to his boyfriend for one brief moment until Flash speaks up again.

“Penis, didn’t you hear me? Where’d you get the fake MIT sweatshirt from?” Flash yells, even though he’s only a few steps behind them.

Peter looks down his front, only now noticing his outfit: black Converse, blue jeans, and Tony’s MIT jumper. Nothing outlandish or out of the ordinary if you ask him…

Wait.

Tony’s MIT jumper?

When the hell did Peter put that on? Why was it even in his closet? When did it get into his closet?

God, it’s too early for this. It’s barely after second period and here Peter is in the middle of the hallway with a headache. Wearing Tony Stark’s clothes.

He panics briefly, his headache forgotten until Ned nudges him again with a concerned look on his face. Peter inhales deeply, barely sparing Flash a glance as he continues to walk to third period.

“It’s Mr. Stark’s. Guess I wasn’t paying attention when I got dressed this morning,” Peter finally replies, smiling when Ned gasps a tiny “Oh, my God” under his breath.

Flash rolls his eyes and scoffs. “Yeah, right. No one’s going to actually believe that, Penis. Why do you try so hard to lie to everyone about being an SI intern?”

Peter raises one brow, frowning as Flash shoulder checks him while he passes by. “Because it’s true?”

“Sure. I totally believe you,” Flash says over his shoulder, disappearing quickly in the crowded hallway.

“Forget him. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about, but if he says that in front of our girlfriend later, I’m pretty sure she’ll beat the snot out of him again,” Ned assures him, pulling Peter closer into his side as he does. “Speaking of MJ, she wants to know if you’re still available for our date on Sunday. We can’t be a thruple if it’s only her and I having dates all the time, man. We gotta have some quality time as three.”

Peter nods his head and leans into Ned’s warmth. “Yeah, I’m good for Sunday. Aunt May’s gonna drive me to the movies on her way to work, so I’ll meet you guys there.”

Ned laughs and goes on tiptoe to press a kiss to the curve of Peter’s cheek, a light pink flush growing darker across his face. “Awesome, babe.”

Peter smiles and rubs a hand over his temple but does his best to ignore the pressure building up in his head.

The rest of the day finds Peter nursing a pounding headache, barely being able to concentrate in class, and ignoring Flash’s continuous jabs on his choice of clothing.

By lunch, Peter gives in and takes the jumper off. He stuffs it into his backpack and braves through the sudden chill that befalls him. MJ and Ned throw their own jackets over his head and laugh when he almost topples over in surprise, Peter’s headache dulling as he takes in their smiles. He gives them their jackets back once the lunch hour is done though and does his best to pretend like he isn’t cold.

He’s doing well until he climbs into a townhouse car after school and Happy turns in his seat to level a glare at him. Peter freezes, wondering what he did now to gain such a response. He only just got into the car after all.

“Kid, it is fifty-six degrees outside. Why don’t you have a sweater on?” Happy barks, his voice sharp and loud.

Peter barely manages to stop himself from wincing and quickly pulls Tony’s sweater out of his backpack. “I put on Mr. Stark’s sweater by mistake, so I took it off.”

Happy’s expression softens marginally, but his voice is still firm when he says, “Tony would give you his entire wardrobe so you would never feel the cold again, kid. Wearing one of his sweaters isn’t going to make him mad.”

Peter only shrugs, pulling the jumper over his head to make Happy turn and start the car. The vents blast powerful drafts of hot air and it is only then that Peter realizes how truly cold he really is. He starts to shiver, clutching his backpack to his chest as Happy drives.

The headache that’s been bothering him all day comes back with a vengeance, causing Peter to wince. Traffic and the whole state of New York apparently want to filter through his hearing and take up residence in his head. Peter opens his backpack and shoves his mask on, grateful when Karen immediately dulls his input sensors. Happy stares at him in the rearview mirror but says nothing about his peculiar get-up.

Peter leans back in his seat and finally relaxes.

Once Happy pulls up to the curb in front of Stark Tower, Peter reluctantly pulls his mask off and flinches as the world comes back at him with full force.

Peter closes his backpack and steps out of the car, stumbling on the way but managing to catch himself on the door. His face and neck flush with embarrassment knowing that Happy saw that and moves quickly to close the door dutifully behind him.

“Bye, Happy. Thank you for the ride,” Peter says as the car door shuts and Happy waves a hand at him before driving away.

Being on the street isn’t doing any favors for Peter right now so he rushes towards the grand doors leading into the tower. He waves at Myah and Arnaldo, the receptionists on duty at the moment, and heads to the elevator that will take him to Tony’s lab. Peter rubs his arms as he waits for the elevator doors to open, a small shiver rolling down his back.

The lobby is loud and smelly just like the school hallways were earlier making it hard for Peter to focus. He doesn’t have Ned or MJ to ground him now. Someone yells something to his left and he flinches, clapping his hands over his ears.

He practically falls into the elevator when the doors slide open and grabs onto one of the rails, tipping his head back until it rests on the cool metal. His knees are shaking and his heart is beating faster with each passing second. He feels like he’s out at sea, trying desperately to get back to shore as he concentrates on his breathing. Everything is much quieter in the elevator, which helps until FRIDAY speaks up and Peter jumps onto the ceiling in surprise.

“Welcome back, Peter. Boss is waiting for you in the lab.”

Peter rubs one of his hands over his eyes, the lights too close and too bright now that he’s on the ceiling. His headache is making everything hazy now and in the next moment, Peter is sprawled on the floor with a sharp pain in his arm and no idea how he got there.

FRIDAY doesn’t say anything, but Peter can feel the elevator moving at an alarming pace now.

The elevator stops soon after and the doors open with a sharp ding that makes Peter hiss in pain. He’s looking at the back of one of the couches in the main room, Tony’s lab down the hall behind it. Peter tries to get up from the floor and groans when he falls back almost instantly, not able to support his own weight suddenly.

He winces when the tapping of harsh footsteps echoes down the hallway coming from the lab and suddenly Tony is running towards him. He falls to his knees beside Peter, frantic and voice muffled as he says something to him. Peter can barely focus on his mentor’s face, feeling slightly nauseous when Tony pulls him into a sitting position.

Tony settles him down until Peter’s practically in his lap, arms over the older man’s shoulders and his face buried in Tony’s throat. Peter lets his eyelids flutter shut and inhales deeply, doing his best to focus on that alone. When that doesn’t work, he shifts until his face is squished into Tony’s chest and listens for his heartbeat, sighing once it becomes the only thing he can hear.

Now that he isn’t on the verge of passing out, Peter can feel Tony rubbing circles into his back as well. It’s comforting enough to bring everything back into a less sharp focus than before. He sighs, pulling back to grab his backpack and pull his mask back on. Karen greets him urgently, his vitals flashing bright red. He can still feel his headache but he’s listening to Tony’s heartbeat now and Karen is successfully muffling everything else.

“Kid?” Tony asks, his voice rough enough to make Peter wince.

Peter coughs, pressing a hand to his head. “Sorry, Mr. Stark. Overload. I think I have a cold now too.”

Tony pulls him into his arms again, holding him to his chest. “You’re gonna give me a heart attack one of these days, Pete. How long have you been dealing with sensory overload?”

“All day, really, but MJ and Ned helped during school. Didn’t get bad until I stepped into the tower.”

“Alright, kid. FRIDAY’s saying your temperature is too low, so let’s warm you up while I work on something to help with your senses. Sound good?” Tony sighs, pressing a kiss to the top of Peter’s head.

Peter nods, laughing when Tony mutters a string of curse words under his breath. His mentor pulls away from their embrace and gets onto his knees, ruffling Peter’s curls as he does. Tony stands up then helps Peter get back on his own two feet. Peter grips his backpack tightly in one hand and clings to his mentor with the other.

Slowly, they make their way out of the elevator and towards the lab. Once there, Tony pushes Peter onto the couch that only showed up after Peter’s second visit there and leaves. Peter doesn’t worry about that and lays back, settling himself onto the cushions as he awaits Tony’s return.

His mentor comes back, arms piled with blankets, and throws them on top of Peter. He can’t help the laugh that startled out of him, but Tony smiles too as he kneels to fix the blankets around him then stands up once more.

“Alright, kid. Karen is going to keep FRIDAY updated on your temperature while I work. I know you don’t need glasses, but you used to wear them before, didn’t you?” Tony asks as he rummages through a drawer.

Peter nods, smiling when Tony makes an “Aha!” noise as he pulls out a pair of black-framed glasses. “Yeah, I did. They were already getting old by the time I became Spider-Man though.”

Tony nods, pulling up specs on the glasses and readying himself to get to work. “Well, these are going to be for when your senses are too high. They’ll dull your eyesight and I’ll work on some nondescript earphones that you can wear during school without them getting confiscated. You alright with that, kid?”

“Yeah,” Peter says, feeling better by the minute. “Thanks, Mr. Stark.”

“It’s Tony, Petey.”

“Thanks, Tony.” Peter grins, pulling the blankets more firmly around him until he’s comfortable as he watches Tony do what he’s best at.

Taking care of Peter.

a/n: send me numbers for the platonic prompts!

#irondad #spiderson #irondad and spiderson #peternedmj #platonic prompts #spiderman: homecoming #marvel #mcu #oneshot #f:marvel #g:angst #g:fluff #t:oneshot #p:peter&tony #p:mj/ned/peter #m: fic

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bythepowerof4 · 7 years

Text

bythepowerof4 hi hey hello

readmylipstick Hello, hey, hi.

bythepowerof4 haha hi hows everything

readmylipstick Not terrible, all things considered. How is your...everything?

bythepowerof4 i'd say, neutral? class sucks but damian got thrown on his ass so

bythepowerof4 well no ok also bad bc U Know so. if you wanna. talk about that. or we can not for a bit i don't mind

readmylipstick I guess I'm just worried about your feelings? Because it was really unfair for me to drop, well, everything that I've dropped on you in the past couple months.

bythepowerof4 ok but no??? you like should tell me stuff if you want right not all at once and not when you're all out of it but . everything else is good not good cause it wasn't good stuff :/ but good that you wanted to tell me?? that's just a friend thing im not mad !!

readmylipstick You're not mad?

bythepowerof4 maybe?? i don't know i don't think so it doesn't matter the other stuff wasn't """unfair""" ok just. the other night. was a lot. idk

readmylipstick I feel like you dk, though. And if my feelings matter, than so do yours!

bythepowerof4 well yeah i guess im sorry i feel like i had things to say but i have no idea what they are lmao

bythepowerof4 that wasnt a good start huh. is there anything you really wanna say?? i wont be mad or weird or anything, promise

readmylipstick Just that like, I'm going to try and be better. Less...explosive. And I still meant a lot of what I said, but I don't want any of it to come between our friendship or make things weird.

bythepowerof4 ok well neither so thats a good start is there anything. i should be doing? or? not doing? and i mean. are you sure you meant it

readmylipstick Would it make you feel better if I said no?

readmylipstick Because it would be great if you weren't upset with me, but like beyond that there isn't really anything I can ask you to do?

readmylipstick So, just do what you think is best?? This is hard.

bythepowerof4 lmao very

bythepowerof4 maybe dont think about whatd make me feel better for a sec??

bythepowerof4 i did or didnt do something obv bc you felt like you couldnt tell me. that thing. and then got all upset

readmylipstick Oh, well...isn't that...how these things go like...I'm not supposed to...be super transparent...

readmylipstick Because the other party's feelings are an unknown!

bythepowerof4 ok if youre joking thats funny if not oh my god oh ok well. yeah

bythepowerof4 im trying to make it less unknown but this is still really hard and i hate it haha?

readmylipstick It's okay though I totally understand! I wasn't expecting you to do anything or feel a certain way, it was just a bunch of drunk blathering because alcohol eliminates my filter! Like, if I was going to breach this subject in the future I probably would have had a lot more tact!

bythepowerof4 its very much um, breached now haha so yeah. im sorry. really

readmylipstick Please don't be! My feelings are silly, and I'm sure I'll get over them! What matter most to me is our friendship, okay?

bythepowerof4 well yes that last part is definitely true but why do you keep doing that first part youre not silly i know i act like youre silly sometimes but thats not good and its not true??

readmylipstick Sure, but saying I'm silly makes it easier.

bythepowerof4 oh dude there are a lot of things that could make this easier but ive been instructed to not do like any of them :/ do i have to tell you youre valid cause i will i swear

readmylipstick Okay, okay! I'm valid! Wait, instructed? By whom?

bythepowerof4 not instructed i just got some advice which i assume is ok cause it also seems like you did the same :p

readmylipstick You can say you told Daisy, I'm not gonna freak out!

bythepowerof4 i didnt!!! i really didnt lol that wouldnt be very nice

readmylipstick Telling Nick is the same as telling Daisy...

bythepowerof4 no it isnt i had this whole talk with them about it once idk i swore him to secrecy you told ai. which is fine except for maybe sending her to talk to me lmao?

readmylipstick I didn't send her at all! I didn't even know she talked to you!

bythepowerof4 oh ok yeah i thought she might have done that herself lmao

bythepowerof4 can we get back to the important thing like how you are so valid and youre feelings matter and i think you need to maybe say them without editing based on what you think i'd say??

readmylipstick Well, I kind of already did that when I was wasted?

bythepowerof4 ok point

bythepowerof4 but feelings dont only matter when youre wasted and i think if u gotta be wasted to say important stuff, which is kind of a pattern now, thats probably

bythepowerof4 bad??

readmylipstick Well, that was an important thing but also an embarrassing thing, so it seemed natural just to keep it quiet?

bythepowerof4 but then like nothing woulda ever happened??? or like with that guy. you know. if you didnt get smashed and weepy and tell me about it would u just have kept it to yourself this whole time?

readmylipstick ...Okay, I see your point.

bythepowerof4 yeah so this was one of the things i was advised not to bring up but i think it might be important

readmylipstick I guess I could stop drinking then?

bythepowerof4 that is an option but there are lots of inbetweeny sort of options and also everything you do is entirely your choice and im not tryna like micromanage ur life!!!

readmylipstick I think there's a term for that, and it's called giving advice, right?

bythepowerof4 well yeah thats what i said!!! but apparently there is a line and apparently i like to cross it so im not gonna like tell you what to do or anything

readmylipstick Well, you don't have to tell me what to, but I think I might need some...help? To change, that is.

readmylipstick Because I don't want to keep making you uncomfortable and whatnot!

bythepowerof4 if you wanna change something cause you wanna change then i'll help you but don't do anything for my sake?? thats making me uncomfortable tbh??

readmylipstick Well, I figured it was a given that I would also be changing to avoid making a complete idiot of myself in the future!!

bythepowerof4 you dont have to though

bythepowerof4 i still like you i dont care if youre an idiot!! also youre not!!!!

readmylipstick Even if I'm not, it would have been nicer to handle rejection with a bit more grace! And, it would have made it better for the BOTH of us!

readmylipstick Is it really that bad that I'm guilty for what was an obvious and terrible screw up? Or that I'm concerned about the impact my actions have had on you? Because, I don't think so!

bythepowerof4 you handled it fine!!! i wasnt graceful either!!! the problem isnt how you handled it its how you told me cause if you told me sooner THEN it wouldve been better for both of us i think you feel guilty for the wrong thing maybe and also rejection is a very strong word can we just soften that

readmylipstick But, it's the truth! And, if I'm not allowed to outrun all my hard truths than you don't get to either! And, even if it's been as a drunk, at least I've been honest with you! Can you say the same? Like, "shrouded in mystery" is a cool look, but I feel like you've never opened up enough about yourself for ME to help YOU!

bythepowerof4 wait

bythepowerof4 no that is absolutely not fair ok just because i dont come to you with freaky magic stalker issues or weird nicholas sparks confessional shit doesnt mean im mysterious ok it just means im normal!!! and i dont need your help!!!

readmylipstick Clea!! Normal doesn't exist!!! And everyone had problems, including you!!!

readmylipstick Sure, I can be extreme. But, I can't remember you venting to be about anything that wasn't totally shallow!! And I know you' you're not a shallow person!

bythepowerof4 im totally shallow!!! and totally normal!!! i know theres the residual not normal of being here but thats not me ok???

bythepowerof4 do you seriously want me to get all big dark secret dnm on you so you can feel less guilty about doing it to me??? because i dont mind ok i promise you dont have to like, repay the favour

readmylipstick Then what would you have me be? Just some girl who cries on your shoulder?? You don't have to blow up like I have, but you could at least share a little bit?? Because, I have questions that I'm afraid to ask because I want to respect your privacy, but that also means you could be in trouble and you're hiding it! Like I was!!

bythepowerof4 of course not ok cause i like you all the time even when youre not crying on my shoulder but im also okay with you crying on my shoulder if you need to? according to some people im too ok with it which is bad but what the fuck ever i dont get in trouble and im an open fcking book and you can ask me anything go on!!! do it!!

readmylipstick Okay well I agree with whomever else you've been talking to (Nick and Daisy). You're too okay with it, especially because you're insisting that I do? Nothing?? In return??? And! If I get to ask a question! Why did you spend all that time in the math department in Spring? I know it wasn't tutoring because you definitely didn't get any better!!

bythepowerof4 im not insisting anything if i needed to cry on a shoulder then yeah sure id hit you up!!! are you calling me dumb???

readmylipstick No! I'm stating a fact!

bythepowerof4 ok well rude i was getting help ok. technically with maths

bythepowerof4 just like. personal maths and maybe getting better but it didnt work so it doesnt matter

readmylipstick Oh. I didn't even know you wanted to get better?

bythepowerof4 what?? why on earth wouldnt i

readmylipstick I don't know? I guess I figured 4D had it's perks?

bythepowerof4 what the fuck sort of perks

readmylipstick Alien senses???

bythepowerof4 not that useful, give me headaches

readmylipstick No one gets in your way on the sidewalk?

bythepowerof4 yeah cause no one wants to fucking touch me

readmylipstick So, it just sucks? All the time?

bythepowerof4 yeah pretty much. i can't just put a hat on and be normal again like some people lmao

bythepowerof4 some people are fine. you make it feel ok cause you think it's neat or whatever but i figured you were savvy enough to figure it wasn't all sunshiney all the time

readmylipstick It's not like putting on a hat just makes it go away, though! I get headaches too, actually! And, it's not like you really have let on that this is something that distresses you...hence my initial concern. But, thank you for sharing. I can't fix the problem, but at least I understand better?

bythepowerof4 well yeah you cant fix it so i didnt need to bother you about it. you getting it

readmylipstick But, I'm still glad you did! Even though I can't do anything to help now, what if one day I meet someone who can? Or at the very least, I can slip you a Tylenol when you need it?

bythepowerof4 no offence cause thats a sweet idea but its absolutely never gonna happen lmao

readmylipstick Why not? I carry around pain killers all the time!

bythepowerof4 i meant the first thing but omg youre such a girl scout thats not mean thats nice like haha i dont care if my head hurts ok its just when it makes other peoples and you cant give tylenol to every single person in the world so its easier to just ignore it when did this become about me also

readmylipstick When I decided we were going to have equality!!

bythepowerof4 itsequality.gif

readmylipstick sent a GIF

Exactly!! And your headaches matter just as much as anyone else's!

bythepowerof4 lmao nice ok but i dont need to tell you every time still lmao!! i can deal its chill and i have shared. are u happy

readmylipstick Happier than I was earlier, yes!

readmylipstick Thank you for sharing!

bythepowerof4 well that's good i guess

bythepowerof4 are we like, good?? is there anything else, while we're being all like, honest and awkward and stuff

readmylipstick Just that...what I said before doesn't change anything about what we've been through together, or anything that will happen later. It's just a thing, and I'll make it not a thing, and then everything can go back to normal!

bythepowerof4 ok. ok yeah for sure im sorry if i was mean about it. you're like you're really great!!! and i care about you a lot duh

bythepowerof4 did i make it weird again im sorry. necessary evil

readmylipstick hehe No that's not weird at all. Because, you know, ditto?

bythepowerof4 lmao yeah!! ditto ditto

bythepowerof4 just don't be embarrassed ok

readmylipstick Well, I'll do my best!

bythepowerof4 your best is absolutely good enough that was really cheesy huh

readmylipstick A little bit. But, I still appreciate it!

bythepowerof4 im glad

readmylipstick I am too!

#youre so valid no YOURE so valid no youre so valid!!#ooc #im #readmylipstick #they're.........still weird :(

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cvptaingiordano · 7 years

Note

❤

SEND ME A SYMBOL FOR… ( meme - accepting )

❤ FIVE TIMES MY MUSE SAYS THEY DON’T LOVE YOURS, AND THE ONE TIME THEY ADMIT IT.

numero uno…it’s that oh so special brunette he spots, the girl who’s been haunting his dreams since their last meeting. a kiss, the need to let her know how the simple thought of her had been following him around wherever he went. ‘ can’t seem to get you off my mind. ’ mason remembers the exact thing he said, and the courage it had given him to make a move. perhaps it hadn’t been the best of ideas, in fact his best mate had told him that he shouldn’t have once mason had let him know about the situation. still it was something the boy didn’t regret. instead it only encouraged him to talk to her more, text her more, call her more… something which he began doing after that. he felt his friend nudging him, gaze flickered up to his mate, and soon enough his brows knit together, wondering what he wanted. ‘ weren’t you the one that didn’t believe in LOVE ?? ’ confusion is clear in mason’s features as he listened to his words, not entirely sure where he was trying to get at. ❝ uh - –––– y e a h ?? if you’re talking about the whole Beth vent from a couple of months ago just forget about it, it was a mistake - ❞ ‘ i ain’t talking about that. i mean - –––– giordano c’mon stop playing stupid !! you know i’m talking about her. ’ he didn’t even have to think twice before letting his gaze flicker back to the brunette. he wasn’t sure if she herself had noticed him there, but he certainly had. perhaps he should get up and say hello, he might later, he certainly knows he wants to. ❝ what about anastasia ?? ❞ a stupid question to ask, y e s, but he so desperately wants to avoid the one thing he’s sure his mate will say. yet he can’t. ‘ what d’you mean what about her ?? you’re always going on about that girl. you ain’t that blind are you ?? do you love her ?? ’ he’s quiet for a split second, yet he forced himself to shake his head quickly, fingers fiddling with his phone case nervously as he said the first thing to cross his mind. ❝ no ?? i just like her. she’s different, fun plus she’s hot. i like her that’s it. ❞ it didn’t right to say that, it wasn’t a lie, of course not, though he wasn’t sure what exactly he was doing, not after he felt so weird confessing something so odd to his friend.

numero dos…he’s alone in his room, gaze stuck on the sketch from a couple of days ago. hanging out at his place, showing her a couple of his sketches, completely forgetting around the one where he totally had drawn her. it had been EMBARRASSING yes, but he’s glad she didn’t take it the wrong way. he wasn’t one to draw people, the only ones he’d drawn were people that meant something to him, his friend Ethan, his nan, his siblings or simple old family photos… that’s what it usually was. though for once he hadn’t done his usual comic style. it was different, more REALISTIC, almost as if he had been trying to reflect the perfect features in cheap black, which he had but he didn’t want to admit it. this wasn’t that trashy titanic movie, and yes that cheap film somehow reminded him of the situation he was in. thumb brushed over the thin paper, tongue tracing his bottom lip as he was clearly trying to figure out what was going on with him. he wasn’t sure, more so considering how NEW all of this was to him. he wished to have the chance to comprehend what the complicated mess built within the depths of his mind meant, but it seemed as if all of it would be a lot more difficult to figure out than it already was. gaze flickered to the screen of his phone as soon as it lit up, brows pulling together as he read the text message and who it was from. ANASTASIA. again the all to familiar name, the brunette seemed to be everywhere he went and he wasn’t sure w h y. whatever this weird thing was he wasn’t sure yet his thoughts don’t seem to stop his thumbs from tapping against the screen of the small device. ‘ mhm i’m here… wanna hang out ?? ’ sent. this was different, he knew it was, but there was one thing he was sure it wasn’t. LOVE. it couldn’t be, yet to be sure he spoke the words softly as if to reassure himself that he was right. ❝ nope, we’re just f r i e n d s. ❞

numero tres…thirty minutes go by as he sent that text, his gaze stuck on the small screen as his thumb tapped against the screen. y e s playing candy crush was s h i t, but he had to do something to kill time. the round ends and he gazed at the hour. 4:42 p.m another hours lef before he could leave to pick her up. apparently she wasn’t home and he’d told her he wouldn’t mind waiting, which he didn’t, but he wasn’t exactly the patient kind guy. his screen lit up, this time with a message of his friend asking him where the hell he was, and god he’s completely FORGOTTEN about meeting him. an explanation, he needed something quick to come up with, yet somehow telling him the truth made more sense. - ––––– sorry, i forgot. don’t hate me but i’m going to hang out with anastasia so… gotta be some other time. ‘ w o w, now i’m hurt. what happened to the whole bros before hoes ?? seems like you really are in l o v e ’ - –––––– shut up i’m not.

numero cuatro…he’s back home, a lovestruck look on his face as he walks through the front door. he wasn’t sure if he’s ever been t h a t happy, or if he’s ever had so much fun before, though he’s clearly in a good mood, something odd considering how annoying ethan was being lately. there was a subject he wasn’t dropping, one regarding the girl he just hung out with. he stops in his tracks the moment he sees his grandmothers, only to wave at her with a wide grin before approaching her. ❝ imma order some chinese for us later, no need to cook dinner now. ❞ yes he’d already eaten, but it didn’t matter to him. he was ALWAYS hungry, whether he was tired, or mad, or excited, but when was it when he ate the most ?? when he was happy. either way this was different. he felt almost GLAD to be alive. ‘ what’s gotten into you ?? ’ he’s taken back by the question, clear confusion washing over his features. it’s a weird thing to ask him, more so seeing how h a p p y he is. he wasn’t sure what she was referring to, something obvious in the way his brows knitted together, yet it seemed as if once again his nan knew e v e r y t h i n g. ‘ who’s the girl ?? ’ somehow they end up at the same place, just like when he was with ethan a few days ago. he found himself repeating the same set up words. ❝ no, i don’t love her. she’s just different, nice, f u n. i like her. ❞

numero cinco…he’s alone in his room, as per usual, fingers fiddling with the plastic action figure. thoughts were wild within the depths of his mind once more, everything an absolute mess as he tried to gather and make sense of them, but he couldn’t not with everything going on. whatever the hell it was it somehow seemed to always go back to the brunette, the one girl who’d been haunting his mind the past few weeks. he had to do something about it all. thoughts drift back to his nan, to the texts, to the drawings and to even ethan, all of the things having to do with ANASTASIA once again and somehow he found himself whispering a couple of words. ❝ nah, i don’t love her. ❞ DENIAL that’s what was going on.

numero seis…somehow he stays up all night not being able to sleep. it’s been over an hour since he’s wished her a good night, yet he feels odd, more conflicted than he usually is. the weight of his thoughts telling him that something wasn’t right seemed to be getting the best of him, more so seeing how bloody complicated everything was with him. this wasn’t something he enjoyed, so he did what he normally wouldn’t do, asking for advice and who is that ?? ETHAN of course. ‘ doctor love at your service what may i help you with today ?? ’ he’s pulling that act again, as if he knows everything, but then again he does, possibly better than anyone. they were like brothers after all. - ––––– what makes you think i love her ?? ‘ everything you do and say. the way you act when she’s around. it’s quite funny watching you lie to yourself though. ’ he drops his phone onto the mattress frustration clear on his features as thoughts rushed through his mind. IN L O V E. it made sense, it always was, but he’d rather not even think about it. this time though he gives it a shot, her persona always present in his mind while he tries to figure out what it is, but this time it doesn’t seem as if he has to. anastasia, now he doesn’t push the thoughts related to her away, in fact this time he lets them stay, lets them develop into something else entirely, and it’s different, p l e a s i n g. ❝ i think i love her. ❞ a breathy whisper escapes him as he gazed at the ceiling. it was strange to even think about it, yes it’d been a while since they’d known each other, and yes they were quite close, but ti was strange to even think about. LOVE was something he’d never considered, in fact it was the one thing he’s always pushed away. - –––– for once you’re right. i think i do love her.

#defiantiisms #( answered meme. )#// omfg how long did this get #// if it's trashy i'm sorry cause i realized i SUCK AT COMING UP WITH GOOD STUFF LMFAO #( queue'd )#// still shook tho lbr

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