Hey guyssss. So I’ve been gone for a few days! If anyone noticed. Prob not.
So yeah I haven’t been posting for a couple days because tbh I’ve completely fallen off the band wagon. Which has put me down in the dumpssssss. I’m haven’t dealt with binging in like genuinely 2 months. Not that I thought the habit was kicked, but I’ve definitely lost the most amount of weight I ever have by NOT binging within this lil while. Buuttttt then she came for a visit.
Yes, I actually recognize why it happened. Anyone who’s asked me how I do it my #1 RULE OF THUMB is I do NOT fast. It just makes you hungrier and it’s not a good time. Well I broke my #1 rule when I went out to my anniversary dinner with my bf. I fasted for way longer than I should’ve before. (I will not talk numbers due to the competitive nature of issues) ANYWAY, that night i was SO hungry and I guess lost control for these past 2 days. I won’t get into specifics. An old habit I had was always to fast before a restaurant, so I didn’t even really think about it. But yeah not smart.
I am human, I am just like all of you. I fall and when I fall it’s shit but the important bit is to get back up and continue on like normal. I’m not going to beat myself up for it because mistakes happen. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to fast to make up for it, but that’s what got me into this mess. So I will not be doing that even tho I feel as I should, and I will NOT be cutting out any food groups either. All that is just one big recipe for disaster.
Anyway, I always try to be as transparent as possible and show my falls. It’s not all glamorous with me in zkinnyville 💀. As I get back on the band wagon take this pic of my arm. LOL.
ON A MORE POSITIVE NOTE, i finished my 3rd year of uni. WOOOO
I swear to god once I’m skinny it’s over for you bitches. I can’t wait for people to be like, “oh my god what happened to you??” Or “Jesus you look like you’re dying!”
Ofc we b flexing with the energy drankss. My literal water. I finally cleaned up my room. Not very well 💀 but like ya know, I do feel productive. Tell me why I forgot grilled cheeses existed. I made one for lunch yesterday and it was 🤌🏼 I think I might go make a protein coffee with matcha today. Hmm.
Lil rant:
My bf keeps telling me I need to put on weight, and that I’ve lost a lot which like, is valid. He’s definitely brought it up a few times and had to ask our roommate what I’ve been eating. (While he was away for a week) He also he took a photo of me literally just standing the other day. 🤳🏼🕴🏻He’s like never done that??? So I wonder if he took it to keep tabs on me, idk seemed veryyy peculiar…
though my fitness regime isn’t over yet, 🥦👟🤸🏻♀️🏃🏽♀️I’d like to start going to Pilates. I heard my roommate talking to her friend bout going.🦧🦧🦧🦧today I woke up at 103🫶🏻
Oh yeah comment if you want to see that day 1-30 questionnaire thingy ppl do. Ik yk the one.☝🏼🤓
Something about ED’s that people don’t talk about enough is the constant feeling of being sick, tired, too hot, too cold, almost passing out doing simple activities, and the constant nausea.
This is not some thnsp0 bullshit this is just an observation having been on both sides of the spectrum (having to wear xs and xxls at points in my life)
clothes are patterned with thin-ness in mind. therefore, I should value thin-ness because I wont look good in clothes not designed for me