#because killing isn't something that comes naturally to him he has to channel the idea of a cat do to so

[professorsta]

Frenchie is a scammer he's a killer he's the best at sewing on the revenge he was the first to create a pyramid scheme he invented fan fiction while lying to the British he believes cats are the devil so he dressed up as one when pillaging his best friend is a drag queen his immediate idea when getting his first ever room was to create a reading nook he suggested breaking the legs and arms off their captives and make them into a table he said the best way to handle things is to bottle it up and never talk about it he's allergic to peanuts but thought he was cursed he became Blackbeard's first mate and immediately tried to say no then offered to throw himself off the boat. His lute got destroyed after season one but he picked up another different instrument and has been plucking away on that throughout the show like a fucking savant. He's not in the church but he will be crossing his heart towards god in dire moments he put flowers in his hair for the calypso party he never stopped gazing at Izzy when he was singing he worked in the service industry and that's how he learned to smooth talk and fly under the radar he sold fake Stede merch to pirates he is either the clumsiest person during the worst of times or the most agile. Everyone said they'd rather have Stede for a captain than the fool shaking his ass at the captives tied to the mass, now he's walking from the wheel shouting directions as the New Captain of the Revenge. He likes buttercream cake 🥹

#hes my favorite #CHARACTER #FRENCHIE!! #frenchie #ofmd s2 #our flag means death #I will defend him to my last dying breath #he's not a a sweet innocent babe #he's charaismatic and shameless because he's a scammer/con artist #he bottles everything up man is Emotionally constipated #he saw horrors on the revenge and didn't even blink an eye you're crazy #if you think he hasn't seen worse before #he jokes cus that's a coping mechanism but mans fucked like the rest of them #he's more 'meek' (I guess that's the word although I could also say Intelligently hesitant) #is because he's a smart smooth talker #and it isn't until later where he Has to become a killer #but if you notice he has to dawn a symbol #the cat #because killing isn't something that comes naturally to him he has to channel the idea of a cat do to so #that says so much about him #he's brave and or emotionally cut off enough #to where he can kill not out of want but need #and then pack it all away cus it would eat him alive morally and emotionally #so instead the one of the nicest guys in the show can barely give emotion support #because it would mean also possibly facing his own shit #I LOVE FRENCHIE #he's tough he's a fool #I just hate when people see him as a victim or someone to protect #frenchie is a badass #he's the most character ever

[love-triangles-au]

Gotta know, which Triangle is needier?

(Mod Minty let me steal her art for today's edition of the gay geometry channel. Say "thanks Minty for letting us see your gorgeous art!")

Bill, by a longshot!

Y'see, when he eventually realized that he actually does kind of give a crap about Venuz, he became aware of something: oh, no, a whole lot of people want my loved one dead. Sound familiar?

With that realization comes an immediate (and in his mind extremely embarrassing) trauma response. The last time he loved someone, they were taken from him brutally and unfairly, and the very nature of Venuz being the Gun God means that he is destined to eventually be succeeded.

Now, rationally, what happened to Liam was not at all Bill's fault -- his big brother was basically doomed from the moment he was born -- but as we all know trauma loves to make no sense. Because Liam was taken away while Bill was out, a part of him feels like if he had just been there maybe he could've done something.

And so we begin what we've dubbed the "separation anxiety arc".

He tries to bottle it up, god knows he does, because if Bill's good at anything it's pretending like everything's okay, but the moment Venuz goes to walk out the door it's like being hit with a bolt of lightning made of "what-if"s.

Luckily for him, the first couple times Venuz can just stay home or take him with him. Frankly, more often than not he goes to work as more of a way to keep the day interesting than anything else, but eventually it becomes clear that this is a serious problem.

The more the behaviour is enabled, the worse it gets, and the worse it gets the less Bill's excuses for his behaviour add up. Eventually, he lets it slip.

Once Venuz is aware, it begins to stress him out because there's nothing he can really do to help and he hates seeing Bill so uncharacteristically afraid. All he can really do is distract him at best, because he doesn't know any other way.

And then, one day, he has a lightbulb moment: vacation time! Far away planet (I dunno why but I've leaned towards Io, one of Jupiter's moons), no mortals, no guns. Bill really, really likes this idea, and so they hop in one of Venuz's 50 cars and, when they arrive, Bill finally feels a little better again.

Now, Bill doesn't have very much. As far as he's concerned, he's got his Veeny with him and they're perfectly safe right here. So, he basically pitches that they just stay there forever and live happily ever after.

But, they can't, and here's where another piece of our Gun God lore pops up.

The Gun God's power is tied to Venus itself, and he can't be away from the planet for too long without his powers fading. This prevents the Gun God from just dipping and living out in the deep recesses of space for all eternity, keeps the machine running so to speak.

So, they have to eventually go back.

We haven't got much further than this, but the current thoughts are that anxiety does get better with time (I have an anxiety disorder and know this firsthand), so that will likely ease him a little eventually.

BUT, where things get muddy here is that what Bill's afraid of isn't entirely irrational. Venuz is gonna get into gunfights, people are gonna come try to kill him, it's unavoidable. Thankfully, each Gun God tends to rule for a longer period of time than the last, because his skills only get better with each iteration. So, Venuz is very likely to keep his position for a couple thousand years at the least. But, the chance of him meeting an early demise is never zero.

I think the only way he's gonna get through this is if Venuz helps him through it, and even then I don't think it ever entirely goes away; dude's got like a trillion years worth of suppressed trauma, that doesn't just heal overnight. I think if Venuz is able to consistently prove that he's the best gunman on the planet that will gradually make Bill feel a bit better, but it would need to be consistent, like maybe Bill watches him train every day.

And, okay, when I said we hadn't gotten much further than this, that was kind of a lie; Bill's post-marriage activities very much revolve around this anxiety he feels around losing the fabled Only Guy He Cares About™.

With inclusion into the Yung family, he also becomes immortal and gains Venuz's powers. So, what's the logical thing to do with this newfound power, then? Begin an underground criminal organization dedicated to snuffing out possible competition before it can get to Venuz, of course!

The return of some of his power gives him the confidence that he can protect Venuz himself and that's when he forms his whole mafia operation. And, of course, Bill always thinks he's the smartest guy in the room, so he's often able to fool himself into thinking his plans are air-tight and cannot possibly fail and that suppresses his anxiety as well.

However, he does still sometimes have the occasional moments of doubt that result in full little kid meltdowns. He still needs occasional blanket time to calm down.

~ Mod Emily 🦇

P.S.: Sorry for the slowness on asks right now! It usually means we're wanting to draw something for it, so sit tight; we see you! :D

#love triangles au #mod emily #ask box #yungbill #bill cipher #yung venuz #nuclear throne #gravity falls #gun godz #art #minty's art

[vegalocity]

What would happen if Syntax actually did get cured of the venom? Would he still want to hang around Huntsman and Goliath or would he Think 'huh. Maybe having the people who KIDNAPPED ME around me and my family Probably isn't the best idea.' - Pixel Anon

Uhhhhhhhhhhh yeah I think the answer is Not Good Things Will Happen. I think the answer is ‘Y’all are down an integral clan member hope you didn’t have any plans that hinged on technology or science in general right now.’

Honestly I think you don’t even need to throw Minyi and Xiuying into that equation to make that the answer. Even if you assume Syntax was essentially just alone in the world before spiderfication if he got the spider limbs pulled off and the venom drained from his system, no matter WHAT his Backstory is i think he’d just book it, he’d be OUTTA THERE he is GONE. He’s running before the purple has fully faded from his skin.

And when you THROW IN the ladies, then… well even more so. He’s got Minyi in one arm, a duffel bag in the other and loading into the gd car headed for Xiuying’s cabin to lay low for awhile.

(this gets long so it's under the cut)

Like, most people like to assume that there was a sort of… adjustment period when he had just been spiderfied, usually the flavor of ‘someone (usually Huntsman) reminding him of how he is at his base a human, not a spider, not one of them, and the second he stops being useful is the second he’s only good for how he’ll taste’ and even if he wasn’t afraid of whoever it was in the moment, confident in his ability to manuver extra limbs that aren’t there anymore and speed that wasn’t there either, all the physical additions that being a Spider Demon had are suddenly gone and that threat about being the next meal for the clan suddenly feels a lot more real. Even IF the others had actually grown attached to him and Minyi and even Xiuying, the fact of the matter is if these people decided to kill them all he wouldn’t be able to do anything about it.

Something I could see having kind of a ‘disney channel cartoon’ resolution in this setup is a thing idk if i’ve mentioned before involving Minyi or not. Bc Minyi, as i know i have mentioned, fucking HATES Spider Queen, and at first for awhile there she was very vocal about it, she hated that her dad was working for her, she hated that he wanted her approval, and most of all she hated that whenever she’d say any of that to him, he’d just sort of… not listen.

Even when even Minyi knows what she’s talking about is silly or irrational, she never really feels like Daddy isn’t listening. Even when she’s wrong and he has to explain to her what it was that was wrong, she still felt like he was listening to her as she talked. But not this. Never this. Minyi’s an observant child, her plotline hinges on it, so she knows when Adults tune her out, she knows when she’s being condescended to. And when Daddy tells her that of course he wants to stay Loyal to Spider Queen and she’s Really Cool Actually she can tell he wasn’t listening to a word she’d actually said. Because he never mentions forgiving her for stealing him, or that he knows it might look like she pushes him around but he knows he’s always in control of the situation, or anything that would actually ANSWER her questions or settle her worries. She just… might as well have stomped her foot and yelled like she was half her age.

And now that his head is clear he can look back on that and be… embarrassed? guilty? His daughter was warning him that whole time out of honest fear and concern that she only barely had the vocabulary and emotional complexity to understand And he brushed her off as if it was nothing. And to rub some salt into it now that his head is clear and the unrelenting force of the Spider demanding subserviance to the Queen is gone it’s obvious that his fucking six year old was right about his ‘boss’ being bad news. So of course he figures he owes Minyi an apology, but Minyi’s just happy that he’s listening to her again so it’s all okay in the end.

And if this is the Cyberhunt timeline then can I get an F in the chat for Huntsman? Bc he ain’t even getting a breakup scene, i don’t think he’d even get a letter outside of the ‘I’m leaving the clan and leaving the city with my family. Don’t try to find us’ that goes out to all of the clan (maybe even still implying that Syntax DOES still have that Spider amplification in him so it’s not just a flimsy ‘stay away’ from an equally flimsy human)

I could see Syntax as being pretty mad at himself for letting the relationship happen at all in that context. Like yeah, his brain was all scrambled up and he can’t ACTUALLY be held accountable for decisions made with the fact that he wasn’t really in his right mind for the whole thing, but it still happened. But now it’s over, and- and it was just some echo of venom that hadn’t quite metabolized yet that left a bitter taste in his mouth to acknowledge that those people weren’t really friends, that he wasn’t really-... His brain is still re-adjusting, he’ll be fine in time.

Minyi I don't think would quite get certain parts about this, in her mind, the big boss is always the bad guy and the other people around are just as scared of the big boss as the person they’re bullying. So to her only Spider Queen was the bad guy. So when Daddy turned back to normal and said that they weren’t safe from the bad guys anymore and needed to go stay at Auntie Xiuying’s cabin for awhile she’d thought that Uncle Huntsman and Uncle Goliath hadn’t come along simply because Uncle Goliath didn’t fit in the car. That they’d catch up with them soon. Because surely, they’d ALL be running away from the REAL bad guy together.

So, she figures they must have gotten lost and had to head back home. Thats not good, surely that means she needs to help them find their way here like how she helped Daddy find his way home. Auntie and Daddy were both too scared of Spider Queen finding them to contact her uncles, but Minyi knew how to evade that!

She knows Uncle Huntsman likes to hang out at their apartment because he loves Daddy (she’ll keep that to herself for now, grownups don’t believe in happily ever afters) so if she mails a letter to the apartment he might find it when he eventually comes over.

She knows Uncle Huntsman doesn’t like puzzles, but he’s good with them when its something important. So she makes a cipher and writes the letter in it, copies down the decoder, and chops it up into distinct shapes, seals it all up in a letter closes the envelope with a sticker on it, and slips it into the mailbox.

Eventually Huntsman does find the letter, written in childish scrawl, the puzzle to decode the letter, and the knowledge that theres only one child on this entire damn continent that would be this obnoxiously enigmatic about sending a fucking letter.

But whatever, he wasn’t gonna do anything except sit in the apartment surrounded by things left behind and feel sorry for himself--er, that is, scavenge for anything that could be used by the Queen and take advantage of the internal heating. So he may as well do something. So he puts together the decoder, she’d just sliced it into fourths. Then translated the letter.

“Hi Uncle Huntsman! If you’re reading this that means you unlocked my letter! Yay! I knew you could! So I know you and Uncle Goliath want to leave the bad lady’s clan too and I know you’re only not here because you guys got lost.” and she just… gave them the coordinates for the place her family was hiding away. (not REALLY hiding, it wouldn’t have taken much to track down the cabin’s whereabouts through Xiuying, but the secluded nature of the cabin may as well have been)

I guess… the way the story ends depends on how you want it to end. Because Huntsman has three options, but really only two. Does he accept defeat and burn the letter, or does he do something with the information he now has? Either way he’d be betraying the queen, but he doesn’t have it in him to turn in the coordinates of their lost clan member and his family. Not this time.

There’s this youtuber i like called Breadsword, he does movie analysis, and in his video about Millenium Actress he says something along the lines of ‘My favorite moment in a romance is somewhere in the last ten minutes, after we’ve followed our characters through the buildup, payoff, and premature destruction of what they had, as they go their separate ways and come to the conclusion that it wasn’t meant to last, one rejects it and takes flight in pursuit of the other... our dreams and our love are the only things truly worth running in the name of.

#Yeah i think Cyberhunt's gonna pull the win for this timeline #this is some good shit man #letters to vega #OC: Minyi #lmk Syntax #LMK Huntsman #cyberhuntshipping

[itsbenedict]

Two-Faced Jewel: Session 8

Welcome to the Hotel On-The-Floor, Yeah

A half-elf conwoman (and the moth tasked with keeping her out of trouble) travel the Jewel in search of, uh, whatever a fashionable accessory is pointing them at. [Campaign log]

Last time, the party identified the culprit behind the murders in Barley and Wheat, but... well, it's complicated. The culprit was apparently being coerced by a dragon, and they managed to talk him down rather than fight. If they want that to stick, though, they'll need some kind of plan to get rid of that dragon. And... is it really worth bailing this guy out, anyway?

Saelhen, Oyobi, and Vayen all start discussing their plans in Elvish, which it doesn't seem like Arnie understands. Oyobi advocates for just killing the guy, but is a little less keen on the idea once Vayen advocates for the same. Saelhen would rather give the guy a chance, and points out that there's not much point to killing him as long as the dragon is still around- they'll need an answer for that, and the answer to a dragon is probably just as good an answer to Arnie.

Looseleaf, oblivious to their Elvish chatter, describes the basic plan to Arnie.

Arnie: "So you're, what... you're gonna get the church involved somehow? What're you gonna tell 'em?" Looseleaf: "Well, probably also Deathseekers," Looseleaf thinks, out loud. "We'll tell them there's a dragon conducting sacrificial rituals at the site of an altar to the god of pain. We'll get the church involved by virtue of proving to them that there's a dragon fucking around with divine shit, and we'll get the deathseekers involved by convincing them that there's a dragon stacked to the gills with cool magic items, which we'll prove by bringing them one of said items." "The important thing is to get going as soon as possible, right? There's a time-limit here measured in, uh... human... corpses..." Arnie: "Wait, how are you gonna get one of its magic items?" Looseleaf: "How do you think, mister 'I work for the dragon so he gave me a bunch of magic items to serve his dread will'?" "We'll bring the deathseekers that magic cloak you said you had." Arnie: "Uh, that's..." "Mine, though."

Eventually, after a persuasion roll or two, Arnie agrees to loan them the cloak, as long as it comes back in one piece. He also tells them how to safely retrieve it from the laundry room- as long as they exchange some dirty laundry for the clean cloak, they'll be happy and won't attack. He's got plenty lying around downstairs, which he heads down to grab.

While he's downstairs, the party confers, and decides to all go together to the nearest city- Cauterdale- to ask the local Deathseekers for aid. They figure Arnie's not a flight risk, since he doesn't have anywhere to run and a draconic boss who'll hunt him down if he tries.

(As they prepare to leave, a natural 20 on a perception roll alerts Looseleaf that Vayen has ransacked Lumiere's personal library, stealing- specifically- Lumiere's books on gods and divine magic, for some reason. She doesn't make any objection to this, though- Vayen's a creep, but it's not like they weren't all on board with looting the dead guy's tower.)

With Arnie's bloodstained laundry in hand, Looseleaf heads upstairs and retrieves the cloak without incident. She tries it out, and...

The result of her crit failing her Wisdom saving throw on the magic item is... nothing, apparently. That's always good to hear! The cloak appears to work exactly as intended! She's wearing a very fancy outfit.

Further experimentation reveals a few limitations- first, the cloak's shape is illusory, so it can't become armor or anything with particular utility. Second, it can get overly literal if you ask it to copy an outfit outright- you have to use your imagination properly. Third, it seems to get tired the more you ask it to change, so there's some limit on how often you can update your wardrobe. Those appear to be the only drawbacks!

So, with Arnie temporarily kept from murdering people, the party gets back on the road.

Saelhen du Fishercrown: For caution's sake, Saelhen calligraphs a piece of paper to say WE HAVE NOT BEEN TORTURED TO DEATH, and sticks it on the door on the way out.

As they make their way northeast, they make some Animal Handling checks to keep hold of their giraffes, as something seems to spook them. Looseleaf gets a critical success and is able to calm her giraffe right away... but the party ranger, who is proficient in neither Animal Handling nor Nature nor even Survival, because what kind of monster hunter needs to know that boring crap, has no idea how to handle an overexcited giraffe and is thrown from her mount with a critical failure.

Benedict I. (GM):There's a small sign by the road, heading off west towards what appears to be an actual forest. The prairie is giving way to a somewhat hillier and more forested terrain here, but the forest is thicker than anything you've seen on your way there. And as you're approaching the crossroads marked by that sign, your giraffes all try to bolt for it. Looseleaf is able to realize that they've been forced to graze on grass for miles, and when they see the trees, they get overexcited. Vayen and Oyobi get completely thrown from their mounts, and you have to follow them down the road a bit to catch up with them and rein them in. Looseleaf: Haha, oh, well, hopefully they don't try and spend the rest of the whole day grazing a pit-stop is within tolerances but we really do have to make it to Cauterdale sooner rather than later. Many lives are on the line! Saelhen du Fishercrown: Good thing Looseleaf can radiate peace at them! Benedict I. (GM): Looseleaf is able to beckon them back before they completely get out of reach, and pretty soon you've got them calmed down- but you've lost some time. There's a choice to make here, now: continue on to Cauterdale, but make the last hour or so of the journey in the dark- or rest at the location marked on the map near here.

On the map, where the sign marked "Umbrella Village" points (shut up, I don't even play Resident Evil, don't worry about it), is simply a warning that reads "EVIL WITCHES- AVOID!!!"

Oyobi and Orluthe inform the others that "witches" usually means "druids"- and Zero cashes in something from character creation. Looseleaf's background as an academic provided her with a book on some historical topic, which was never allocated because at character creation he didn't know enough about the world to decide on something interesting. Here he declares it's a book on the history of druids!

Benedict I. (GM): Druids, from what you've read, are sort of like clerics. They channel a divinity of some sort- which is typically revered as Mother Nature, or Gaia, or... every druid you meet is going to have a different name for it, because while it needs to have a thing to call it by, it is emphatically not a god. Druids have a complicated relationship with Ccorde, who's ostensibly the goddess of environmentalism and hippy communing with nature type stuff- but most druidic traditions regard this as a false claim on a divine domain. Nature is untamed and wild and exists on its own terms, a vital force that is not to be tamed with rules- people must forge their own relationships with Nature. The author of the tome you acquired was herself a cleric of Ccorde, and the tone of the book is defensive on that subject. The author's curiosity outweighed that defensiveness, though, and there's a long section dedicated to the theoretical differences between the channeling of Nature and the channeling of Ccorde- in particular, there's no common dispositional element with druids. Whatever Nature is, it's willing to act through anyone who puts in the effort. The author didn't seem to know anything about animism, but you suspect druidic practice might be related in some way- that their nature-spirit-channeling abilities may be a form of animism. The book is unfortunately light on the practical details of druidcraft, as the author prefers that the reader eschew the practice in favor of fealty to Ccorde.

Okay! So, they head down the road to stay at the druid village for the night- and notice something odd on the way, after some Nature checks. They notice that the dirt road they're going down seems to divide the forest in two- between a sparse, ivy-choked pine forest to the northeast, and a dense, healthy-looking deciduous forest to the southwest. You usually don't get such a sharp delineation between forests like that.

And Looseleaf notices... that their map doesn't show a forest on the southwest side of the road. The road is supposed to just go along the edge of the pine forest. Also, Looseleaf can see the trees' spirits there, and there's something... not quite right.

Benedict I. (GM):The left side of the woods- there does seem to be some ambient magic. Your Sight Unseen ability doesn't exactly detect magic, so much as it lets you see spirits, including the spirits of spells- but what's going on here isn't a spell effect. It's just that the spirits of these healthy-looking deciduous trees don't quite match their physical forms. Their spirits seem... sickly? Frail? Like they're not full trees, not trees that grew in their places from fallen seeds. There's something false about them.

Looseleaf: When you said 'the left side of the road is full of healthy-looking deciduous trees and the right side is full of misshaped thorny things' you know what the first thing i thought was it was, 'the left side is the dangerous side.' i didn't say it out loud but i was totally thinking that, and i am glad to have been vindicated.

The weird forest doesn't seem to be attacking them, though, so they head onward towards Umbrella Village, which seems to be built entirely on the pine side of the road. It's kind of cool-looking- every inch of available space, on the lawns, roofs, and walls, is covered in fruiting vines and various plants. The whole village is a carefully-cultivated ecosystem.

The villagers seem surprised to have visitors- apparently it's not a common occurrence. They seem normal enough, though- while they don't have an inn, they direct the party to visit the village elder, who might know where the best place for them to spend the night is.

(Oyobi once again crit-fails her Animal Handling check, and is unable to prevent her giraffe from ripping a tomato plant off the side of someone's house, which gets her scolded. Why are you a ranger, Oyobi?)

They head down to the village elder's house, which is unique in not being overgrown with crops- and knock on the door.

The door is answered by a little lizardfolk girl, who doesn't have any idea what she's supposed to do about there being... people... here? People she's never seen before? Who don't live in the village? What???

Benedict I. (GM): "...Who...?" "GRANDMAAAAA," she calls back into the room. Which she didn't really need to do so loudly, because there's an elderly lizardfolk woman sitting right there next to a small fire.

Looseleaf: Oh, and Looseleaf was about to ask if the little girl was the elder. Never let external appearances color your preconceptions, and all that. Benedict I. (GM): "Eh?" "Gramma there's Mysterious People!" "They don't exist!" The old woman gets up. "Who's... oh, visitors?" The little girl looks confused. "Vizza-what?" Looseleaf:"Indeed, we are emissaries from the Faraway Phantom Lands of Nonexistence," Looseleaf says in deadpan to the girl. "Behold as my incorporeal voice from out of the thin air astonishes you!" To the old lady, Looseleaf says. "Excuse us. You must be the elder?"

They inquire about a place to stay for the night, and the elder... checks the weather. Looseleaf, who has Druidcraft as a racial ability, also checks the weather, using a fancy little snowglobe spell!

Looseleaf: "I'unno, does this help?" Benedict I. (GM): "Oh, goodness. I thought you were from outside- do they..." "That's very well-done, really, and you smell delicious, but..." Saelhen du Fishercrown: uh Benedict I. (GM): "Well, it ought to be fine." Saelhen du Fishercrown: "...hmm," says Saelhen. Benedict I. (GM): "Just put your bedrolls out anywhere- we're not doing rain tonight." "Well, anywhere in town, anyway." "You shouldn't set foot in the Mysterious Woods." Saelhen du Fishercrown: "Ma'am, rest assured that we have less than no interest in Mysterious Woods."

So the party beds down in some soft pine needles, making use of Looseleaf's recently-acquired Extremely Comfy Pillow and a few bedrolls. They have a druid elder's assurance that the elements won't be a problem, so... nothing wrong with camping!

And as they're going to bed, Looseleaf rolls a 21 on Perception.

Luckily, Looseleaf fails her unarmed strike roll, which would do no damage even if it hit because her strength mod is -1. So she does not do any damage to...

Benedict I. (GM): So, you kick out at the mouth full of sharp teeth. Saelhen du Fishercrown: Fwff, goes Looseleaf's puffy moth footsie. Benedict I. (GM): The mouth full of sharp teeth goes "Eeek!" and recoils before you make impact, and you see the little lizardfolk girl scamper away into the darkness. Looseleaf: "What." "Wh- how dare you bite me! I am an emissary of the Phantom Lands and all that or whatever." "Come back here and explain yourself to My Imperial Nonexistingness!"

The little girl, affronted, explains that if she's not real, then it's not bad if she bites her!

Vayen: Vayen stirs. "...Shouldn't kill a child," he mumbles. Saelhen du Fishercrown: "...this is a new dream," remarks Saelhen. "Better than the dreams about dad." "Vayen's even deciding not to kill someone. This is super neat, subconscious, keep going."

Saelhen argues that maybe Gramma doesn't know what things taste good, because sometimes grammas think things that taste bad taste good, like bell peppers! The child has no defense against this devastating logic bomb, and scampers off into the darkness, indignant.

Next time: the journey to Cauterdale, and the menace of the bobbledragon.

#twofaced jewel #tfj log

[books--andt]

Zenith (The Androma Saga) by Sasha Alsberg and Lindsay Cummings

Hey everyone! It's been a hot minute since I've last written to you guys. I haven't read a whole lot, only 3 books so far this year, but I'm ok with that. I read for pleasure, and for myself after all!

So Zenith... If you don't know what this book is about, here's a brief synopsis... It follows our main character, Androma or Andi as she's usually called by her team of marauders. Andi and her team get caught up in a quest to save the general's son, but along the way, past relationships resurface, and a war that they didn't want to get caught up in threatens to swallow them whole.

**This review may contain some very small details of the book, which could be viewed as spoilers if you haven't yet read it**

Now... to be honest I had very (and I mean very) low expectations going into this book. If you've been with me for a while, you'll know I read one of Lindsay's books called The Murder Complex and I haaaaaaated it. I am also not the biggest fan of Sci-fi, but I'll touch on that later. Furthermore, I wasn't sure how the writing and story telling, this being Sasha's first book, would turn out combined with the bad experience I had with Lindsay's previous book. However, I'm happy to say that my expectations were exceeded!!!! I enjoyed this book a lot more than I thought I would. I wanted to know what was going to happen, and I did not see the plot twist coming.

However I do have some problems with this book. Firstly, the characters. Androma is a cut and paste version of Celaena Sardothien. This makes me really sad because I love Celaena! To me, she's the perfect amount bad ass and sensitive. She's a well rounded character. She has flaws. Andi on the other hand, is a bit... How shall I put it... One dimensional? She has this whole "I'm a fierce af warrior, I'm the Bloody Baroness and I will kill and destroy you. I want to see you die!!!" but then on the other hand she has that fake sensitive side, where she mourns the losses of those she's killed and views herself a monster. This is just kind of confusing I guess.

And Dex... he was just too cliche for me. It seemed Sasha and Lindsay were trying too hard to make him that "handsome and strong, misunderstood-hiding-secrets-lover-boy" type of character. When he and Androma had their moment halfway through the book, when they basically mutually say that they've had their time but they can no longer share a life together, I was like whaaa? Andi has found out the truth that he was keeping from her, and they obviously have some sort of feelings for each other, yet they don't want to give it a second chance?

My least favourite character was actually Gilly. Sorry, but I don't think a 12 year old cutesy-on-the-outside, but hungry-for-death-and-murder on the inside, is realistic whatsoever. I don't read many books with younger siblings or characters in them, so when I do I'm very picky. I hate when they are represented as annoying. And to me, that's how Gilly was.

One of my favourite characters was actually the AI, Alfie. I found myself lolling when he and Memory were having their little flirty moments. I hope we see more of him in the sequel, although I am a bit confused as to why he was destroyed? Like, Valen has altered DNA? So his mind controlling ability, or whatever, isn't natural then? Or was the altered DNA the Zenith thing that Nor created? So Is Valen actually not evil, and is just being controlled by Nor???? Someone explain.

I liked reading from so many different POV's. It made the pacing of the book quite fast and you got to know these 6 (there were 6 POV's) characters better. I actually liked reading into Nor and Klaren, because you didn't fully know what was going on until the end of the book. So I thought that was well done. I didn't have a favourite POV to read from. They were all pretty neutral for me.

I thought that the writing was good. I couldn't tell when it was Sasha or Lindsay writing, which was actually something I was looking for all while reading. I feel like co-authoring brings about many new challenges; what if you don't like how the other author wrote or changed something but they love it? It's great that their words and ideas flowed.

I do think however that there were some repetitive writing styles, specifically these poetic descriptions. They weren't bad in my opinion. It's just nice to see some variety.

Overall I thought this book was really heavy on cliche YA tropes. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm trash for certain tropes, but they have to be done well. Does that makes sense?

I was reading some reviews of Zenith on GoodReads and my god!!! People were being so harsh!! I understand that this book isn't amazing, but sheesh people! I read one person say they think Sasha should finish College before writing another book. Like how rude???? To any young aspiring author out there- YOU do NOT have to put your writing on hold until after you finish your education. Writers write. That's how they practise. Of course, you will learn and get better with an education, but it's not like thats your golden ticket to start writing a book.

For the most part, other reviewers agreed that Androma tried too hard to be like Celaena, but other critiques were that she was boring and one dimensional. Some said the first half of this book seemed more edited than the second half, and after pondering this I can say that I agree. However there was a lot more action in the second half, so not as much room for the fluffy poetic descriptions.

Another critique was that the book itself didn't need to be as long as it was. I definitely think there were some parts that shouldn't have been included. There were like 50 pages left when Andi and her gang went to that Ucatoria ball and I just felt like it was an odd time to be having a ball, and introducing new characters, so late into the book, and nothing was even resolved! I guess, that created the climax, and the last few chapters of the book were super short and easy to fly through. One part that, in my opinion, should have definitely been edited out, was when Andi is reunited with her mother. Firstly, her father had previously said she was ill or something, so that was confusing. Secondly, it seems that it was just put in place to show how bad of a relationship her and Andi had together. That could have easily been done with some sort of flash-back chapter. In fact, the whole family dynamic seemed really strange to me. When Andi is first reunited with her father, she has these mixed emotions, about wanting to be strong in front of him, and also wanting to crumble and be held by him. When she meets with her mother, she is so infuriated that she threatens to skin both her mother and father alive, and hang their skin like a flag from her spaceship. I mean!!! What!!!!!

Something else I need to touch on is the fact that so many people were offended that Sasha was handed this opportunity "on a silver platter". Sasha makes youtube videos in the booktube community, so obviously, she has a following and can easily get her voice out there. I have to admit, when I heard they were # 1 New York Times Bestselling Authors, I rolled my eyes. If every one of Sasha's subscribers bought her book, then of course she'd become a bestselling author! But I'm not upset about this. Sasha loves books! Her youtube channel (Abookutopia) is dedicated to that. To me, I have so much more respect for someone who's written a book from the youtube world, if they actually genuinely enjoy reading and writing. I would much rather read a book from a youtuber who makes videos around bookish topics, rather than some beauty guru or daily vlogger. So there. Get over the fact that her following probably had a big hand in getting her and Lindsay that title.

Writing is a process. And it takes time to find your voice. I think this book read too much like a knock-off Throne of Glass book. I'm kind of confused with myself because in a way, I think that's why I liked it?? LOL. I'm not a sci-fi person, but this book didn't really read like a sci-fi book. It was totally more fantasy just set in space.

I think that's all I can say for now.

3.5-4/5 Stars.

If you are getting into Fantasy/Sci-fi (that isn't super heavy on the Sci-fi lol) then I'd really recommend you read this! If you have read tons of YA fantasy and are looking for something different, well, this may not be the book for you.

Thanks so much for reading! What are your thoughts on Zenith???

- T

#books #bookstagram #bookshelf #bookworm #book review #book blog #book blogger #book blogging #booksandt #books and coffee #books and libraries #books and things #books and reading #Books and Literature #books and tea #read #currently reading #am reading #zenith #sasha alsberg #lindsay cummings #the androma saga #booktube #tbr #TBR pile #February Favorites #February Reads #march tbr #love reading #ya