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flutterlight-speaks · 6 months

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Episode 1: Tips

Good morning, Canterlot! This is Flutterlight speaking and today’s episode is tips on staying and working at hotels! We will cover what t do and what not to do.

First things first: Checking in. When checking in please have your ID and card ready. Also, your name must be on the reservation somewhere for us to let you check-in. If someone else has made it for you, we need their permission to check you in, and they must verify who is checking in before we can proceed. Upon checking in, you must have a card that goes through. Most hotels are not able to take cash on check-in. And a lot, if not every, hotel has incidentals whether it be per night or combined. For my hotel, it is $20 a night added to the taxed price. When checking in we will not give you the full price you’re paying unless you ask. Regulars know what they’re paying and are ok with it. Many ponies do not like paying the price they pay but I cannot do anything about it without talking to my managers and on my shift, I am the only pony here.

Second: Treating the workers. PLEASE, treat us with respect. We are ponies, too. Just because you have a bad day/night doesn't give you a right to treat us badly. Your age also has nothing to do with it. Status with the hotel doesn’t mean much to us unless you’re getting an upgraded room. We treat everypony the same. Please do not treat us like animals, slaves, maids, etc. I understand that older ponies tend to think certain ways, and treat service workers differently, but we are not different from you. We have lives outside of work and problems just like you. Please treat us respectfully.

Third: Housekeeping. When you are leaving after your stay, please do not make the beds. The sheets get stripped and stuff anyways so if you really want to help out, strip your sheets, pillow cases, gather towels, and separate the comforter from the rest of the linen. It greatly helps out the housekeepers. Only do it if the bed was actually slept on (i.e. if you got a twin bed room and only used one bed, don’t strip the other bed). Housekeeping is here mainly in the morning so if you need anything, let them know. Especially if it’s TP or towels. Treat them respectfully and use please and thank you. They appreciate it and have it hard enough as is. I started off as a housekeeping pony and can assure you their job is not easy.

Fourthly: Room service and stayovers. If you are staying for 2 or more nights, let the front desk know if you are going to need housekeeping at any point during your stay. There’s a certain time to let us know by: either the night before or the day of before 8 am. For my hotel, housekeeping ponies do not get here until 9-9:30 am. At my hotel specifically, we tell ponies that housekeeping services are opt-in now instead of automatic and if they would like any before they go to their room(s). If you are a stayover, PLEASE let us know before 12 pm, otherwise, you will be checked out automatically by the head housepony.

Fifth: Workers. New worker ponies! No matter how long you’ve been working at a hotel, always ask your manager or higher-ups if you have any questions. They are happy to help and will help you. They won’t do your job for you, but they’ll point you in the right direction. Be respectful and professional with guests, but be open to conversations and be friendly with them as well. Watch what you say and do not give too much information. Be sure to sign up for benefits when open enrollment is available. Get as many hours as you can but do not burn yourself out to the point of physical illness.

I will be happily taking questions! If you do have any questions submit them with the Contact Us form. I will answer any questions in an episode dedicated to them! Thank you!

#podcast #blog #mlp #FlutterlightSpeaks

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scatteredcloud · 4 years

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Top Surgery: What Really Happens pt3 -Recovery

I’m on day 4 of recovery, and it’s been a lot of trial and error as to what works and what doesn’t. Like I said in part 1 and part 2, there’s no one solution, so try to anticipate what works for you but be ready to adapt if it doesn’t. I was pleasantly surprised to have over prepared because my pain level is quite low, but that seems to be the exception not the rule. A lot of the supplies mentioned here overlaps with what I said in part 1, this guide is about logistics.

Getting Ready - Day Of - Drains

-Plan to be sleeping, a lot. I get pretty down on myself when I sleep in, because it makes me feel like I’m not being productive, but what’s productive in the days after surgery is taking care of yourself.

Don’t expect to be back to normal within a few days. The way my surgeon broke it down was this:

1 week post op you’re back to 50%

2 weeks post op, you’re back to 80%

4 weeks post op, you’re back to full capacity.

This is a generalization of course, but recovery starts slowing down after week 2, which is why it’s so important to rest up during the first few weeks (especially because that’s when you take time off) You also have to get used to sleeping on your back, which I don’t think anyone actually does naturally. Weighted blankets are super nice for this if you have one, since it keeps you from tossing and turning. I have to take sleep meds anyways, but the pain killers they give you also knock you out.

-Speaking of meds... This was probably what I was the least informed on going into surgery.

This is my full list of medications and side effects that I’ve experienced. Asterisks next to what I was prescribed, I’ve linked to the drugs.com site for more information side effects and general info.

*Oxycodone- 5mg: as needed, every 6 hrs (painkiller)

Reminder that these are opiates, and appropriate caution should be taken. These made me particularly sleepy, and constipated. They also mess with your eyes, I have 20/20 vision but for the first time in my life I understood what it was like to be far-sighted.

*Cefadroxil- 500mg: every 12 hrs (antibiotic)

Obviously it’s important to eat in general while recovering, but also, antibiotics are the only mandatory medication and trying to take them on an empty stomach makes you super nauseous.

*Ondansetron- 4 mg: as needed , every 8 hrs (anti-nausea)

This was substituted for Zofran, not entirely sure why but I think it was something about interactions with other drugs.

Generic acetaminophen- 500mg, as needed every 6 hrs (tylenol)

You cannot have Aspirin, or any over the counter NSAID. They thin the blood and promote excessive bleeding. Aspirin, Motrin, Aleve, Ibuprofen, Excedrin, and Advil are all off limits.

Sennosides- 15mg- as needed (laxatives)

In addition to constipation from other side effects, it’s also just harder in general to get it out because of how sore your muscles will be. There’s no shame in it, it happens to the best of us.

Diphenhydramine- 50mg- 1 a day (sleep aid)

-Altered mobility, what’s up with that? There are going to have to be some life style changes you make to enable getting around your space.

This is my set up:

Laptop, water, trash can, meds and extra supplies all within reach

Extra pillows to support my back

Lamp with a on/off button extension cord. I think it was originally for christmas trees but it’s nice to not have to reach up and turn the knob

Power strip with chargers

I’m sleeping on the couch because it’s 1. Closer to the bathroom and 2. My actual bed is a loft which isn’t exactly surgery friendly.

I covered the couch cushion in an extra sheet to make it less scratchy and in case of any leakage (There hasn’t been any though)

The name of the game is accessibility. I’ve been lucky to be able to move around and be up and about, but it’s still better to have everything within arms reach. The only issue I’ve run into with my set up is that sitting up is pretty difficult. Particularly with how wide this couch is, it’s hard to maneuver myself up and out

Also, get used to squatting down to pick things up, instead of leaning over. When you squat, you aren’t engaging your torso at all to reach something, which is ideal here.

Try and stick to chairs that have some sort of back support. I’m used to sitting on stools in my work area and that’s just not sustainable after surgery.

-Hygeine Full stop, you’re going to have to be gross for awhile. This (I suspect) is also why they ask you to go off hormones for awhile before surgery, because I’m definitely a lot less sweaty and gross than I would be otherwise.

You can’t shower until you get your drains out, and the ok from your doctor. This is to reduce the risk of infection and to keep soap out of your sutures. Shower gel is pretty much a no until everything is healed, unless it’s like ultra-sensitive, and unscented.(Double check with your doctor though) My boyfriend came over two days ago to sponge me down and wash my hair. Bar soap works well, because it’s easier to control where the soap goes, and it’s more sustainable.

Do not try and bathe alone. Period. It’s not worth the trouble or pain, and you run the risk of getting things in your sutures

Washing your hair is going to be a bit of a debacle. If you have longer hair, brushing it regularly will help distribute the natural oils and help prevent them from building up. I personally don’t like dry shampoo, but others swear by it, so worth a shot. I’ve also talked to people who treated themselves to a salon visit, to get their hair professionally washed which also sounds lovely. My boyfriend and I managed with me leaning over the edge of the tub and him pouring water over my head. The important thing is to keep soap from running down to your chest.

For me, washing my face is really important to feeling clean. My skin is naturally oily, and I had to adapt my routine a bit, because my normal method is splashing a lot of water on my face. I’ve been learning to take the more civilized route and using a damp cloth to wash off the cleanser, like probably everyone else was already doing :P

I’ve seen a lot of people recommending wet wipes, to at least pull some of the gross off, and if that works for you go for it. I’ve only used them when I take off my compression vest to get some of the oil off of my chest gently.

-Your new chest Other surgeons wrap their patients up differently, but the only rule for me was not to wash the area, and that I had to have the vest on while I slept. Fingers crossed tumblr doesn’t nerf this one but this is what my situation looks like.

(CW: Stitches If you’re sqeamish, you might want to skip this, I certainly would)

The yellow sponge things are sewn on top of my nipple grafts to keep them in place, and then there are strips of medical tape holding the sutures together. Because they’re sewn to my body, I don’t have to worry about them shifting around, but nudging them even a little bit really hurts. The area on my chest went from super sensitive, to itchy and tender, to itchy and numb, to numb and tender. All of your nerves are either completely fried or severed, so even the most delicate sensations can feel really uncomfortable. My chest wasn’t ever particularly sensitive before surgery, so it’s weird being sensitive (but also not?) now.

When the compression vest is closed, I just have a couple layers of gauze pads on top of the stitches to keep them protected. I don’t really have any bandages, although I’m pretty sure that’s not the standard. The compression helps everything fuse back together correctly and squeezes out the fluids into the drains. (I’m making a post on that soon, I’m waiting to get my drains out first.)

I’ve left my vest unbuckled the past couple days to get some room to breathe, but I kept it closed the first 3 days and that seems to really help with minimizing the drainage. (The less drainage the better)

EDIT: I took my first shower in a week here’s my advice for that

Showers- As relieving as it is, you do still need to take some precautions. My shower is a stall with a fixed shower head, if you have a removable one then you’re in good shape- just get someone to get it down for you first. (No reaching over your head!)

- If your nipple grafts are still healing (which they probably will be if you got them), I highly recommend “transparent dressing covers”. Mine came in the box of extra gauze I got from CVS, but an overlarge water proof bandaid will probably do as well. They’re essentially just cling wrap (saran wrap w/e) for injuries. Theoretically you couple put them over the whole cuts? Imo that’s more trouble than it’s worth, you really can’t feel anything- but do what makes you comfortable.

-As always, different instructions for different procedures etc etc- the goal is to keep soap away from the incisions. Water is ok, but I was trying to avoid that as much as I could too. The good news is that all of the nerves are severed, so the discomfort isn’t as bad as getting a normal cut wet in the shower

- This took some experimenting, but the optimal position for me was back to the wall the dials are on. That way you can lean over (from the waist not the chest!) to get your hair in the water, without risking it dripping onto you. That being said, I have pretty thick, med length hair, so adjust as needed.

- I’ve been trying to switch to bar soap anyways, because it’s more sustainable, but personally it worked well for me. (Definitely make sure you can get a good grip on it though, pain killers can make you clumsy and it’s a bitch to crouch down to get it if it drops) My instructions were specifically to keep shower gel away from the incisions, so I just used bar soap.

- I didn’t do this, but retrospectively, keeping a clean sponge or a wet cloth on hand to get your arm pits would be pretty choice. Since you can’t lift your arms and in trying to keep soap away from your chest, it’s hard to get your under arms damp enough to get soap on, and then harder to rinse out.

- Getting out of the shower, make sure you have towels in easy reach. I’m pretty vigorous trying to dry off, because I hate the feeling of being wet, so I had to consciously slow myself down. Drying your hair goes more or less the same way as washing it, bending from the waist. There’s probably another method (getting someone else to help you ideally lmao) but because your can only really move your fore arms, this is the only thing I’ve been able to find that brings everything within reach.

- If you have a hair dryer, it works wonders for drying off hard-to-reach places. I was having a hard time getting my back fully dry, but pop that baby on and your warm and dry in seconds.

Please let me know if you have any specific questions, my dms/ask box are always open, and I’m sure I’ve forgotten things.

#trans #transgender #top surgery #post op #top surgery guide #trans health #post op recovery #double incision

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realtransfacts · 6 years

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Alternatives to Self Harm

Copying down the text from [here] in case that forum gets deleted or something!

This is good advice so I felt it was worth saving.

Alternatives for when you're feeling angry or restless:

Scribble on photos of people in magazines

Viciously stab an orange

Throw an apple/pair of socks against the wall

Have a pillow fight with the wall

Scream very loudly

Tear apart newspapers, photos, or magazines

Go to the gym, dance, exercise

Listen to music and sing along loudly

Draw a picture of what is making you angry

Beat up a stuffed bear

Pop bubble wrap

Pop balloons

Splatter paint

Scribble on a piece of paper until the whole page is black

Filling a piece of paper with drawing cross hatches

Throw darts at a dartboard

Go for a run

Write your feelings on paper then rip it up

Use stress relievers

Build a fort of pillows and then destroy it

Throw ice cubes at the bathtub wall, at a tree, etc

Get out a fine tooth comb and vigorously brush the fur of a stuffed animal (but use gentle vigor)

Slash an empty plastic soda bottle or a piece of heavy cardboard or an old shirt or sock

Make a soft cloth doll to represent the things you are angry at; cut and tear it instead of yourself

Flatten aluminium cans for recycling, seeing how fast you can go

On a sketch or photo of yourself, mark in red ink what you want to do. Cut and tear the picture

Break sticks

Cut up fruits

Make yourself as comfortable as possible

Stomp around in heavy shoes

Play handball or tennis

Yell at what you are breaking and tell it why you are angry, hurt, upset, etc.

Buy a cheap plate and decorate it with markers, stickers, cut outs from magazines, words, images, what ever that expresses your pain and sadness and when you're done, smash it. (Please be careful when doing this)

The Calm Jar (Fill a mason jar or similar with colored water and glitter. When feeling upset or angry you can shake it to disturb the glitter and focus on that until the glitter settles.)

Blow up a balloon and pop it

Alternatives that will give you a sensation (other than pain) without harming yourself:

Hold ice in your hands, against your arm, or in your mouth

Run your hands under freezing cold water

Snap a rubber band or hair band against your wrist

Clap your hands until it stings

Wax your legs

Drink freezing cold water

Splash your face with cold water

Put PVA/Elmer's glue on your hands then peel it off

Massage where you want to hurt yourself

Take a hot shower/bath

Jump up and down to get some sensation in your feet

Write or paint on yourself

Arm wrestle with a member of your family

Take a cold bath

Bite into a hot pepper or chew a piece of ginger root

Rub liniment under your nose

Put tiger balm on the places you want to cut. (Tiger balm is a muscle relaxant cream that induces a tingly sensation. You can find it in most health food stores and vitamin stores.)

Alternatives that will distract you or take up time:

Say “I’ll self harm in fifteen minutes if I still want to” and keep going for periods of fifteen minutes until the urge fades

Color your hair

Count up to ten getting louder until you are screaming

Sing on the karaoke machine

Complete something you’ve been putting off

Take up a new hobby

Make a cup of tea

Tell and laugh at jokes

Play solitaire

Count up to 500 or 1000

Surf the net

Make as many words out of your full name as possible

Count ceiling tiles or lights

Search ridiculous things on the web

Colour coordinate your wardrobe

Play with toys, such as a slinky

Go to the park and play on the swings

Call up an old friend

Go "people watching"

Carry safe, rather than sharp, things in your pockets

Do school work

Play a musical instrument

Watch TV or a movie

Paint your nails

Alphabetize your CDs or books

Cook

Make origami to occupy your hands

Doodle on sheets of paper

Dress up or try on old clothes

Play computer games or painting programs, such as photoshop

Write out lyrics to your favorite song

Play a sport

Read a book/magazine

Do a crossword

Draw a comic strip

Make a chain link out of paper counting the hours or days you've been self harm free using pretty colored paper

Knit, sew, or make a necklace

Make 'scoobies' - braid pieces of plastic or lace, to keep your hands busy

Buy a plant and take care of it

Hunt for things on eBay or Amazon

Browse the forums

Go shopping

Memorize a poem with meaning

Learn to swear in another language

Look up words in a dictionary

Play hide-and-seek with your siblings

Go outside and watch the clouds roll by

Plan a party

Find out if any concerts will be in your area

Make your own dance routine

Trace your hand on a piece of paper; on your thumb, write something you like to look at; on your index finger, write something you like to touch; on your middle finger, write your favorite scent; on your ring finger, write something you like the taste of; on your pinky finger, write something you like to listen to; on your palm, write something you like about yourself

Plan regular activities for your most difficult time of day

Finish homework before it's due

Take a break from mental processing

Notice black and white thinking

Get out on your own, get away from the stress

Go on YouTube

Make a scrapbook

Colour in a picture or colouring book.

Make a phone list of people you can call for support. Allow yourself to use it.

Pay attention to your breathing (breath slowly, in through your nose and out through your mouth)

Pay attention to the rhythmic motions of your body (walking, stretching, etc.)

Learn HALT signals (hungry, angry, lonely, tired)

Choose a random object, like a paper clip, and try to list 30 different uses for it

Pick a subject and research it on the web - alternatively, pick something to research and then keep clicking on links, trying to get as far away from the original topic as you can.

Take a small step towards a goal you have.

Re-organize your room

Name all of your soft toys

Play the A-Z game (Pick a category ie. Animals, and think of an animal for every letter of the alphabet

Have a lush warm bubble bath with candles!

Do some knitting

Do some house hold chores

Alternatives that are completely bizarre. At the least, you'll have a laugh:

Crawl on all fours and bark like a dog or another animal

Run around outside screaming

Laugh for no reason whatsoever

Make funny faces in a mirror

Without turning orange, self tan

Pluck your eyebrows

Put faces on apples, oranges, or other sorts of food

Go to the zoo and name all of the animals

Color on the walls

Blow bubbles

Pull weeds in the garden

Alternatives for when you're feeling guilty, sad, or lonely:

Congratulate yourself on each minute you go without self harming

Draw or paint

Look at the sky

Instead of punishing yourself by self harming, punish yourself by not self harming

Call a friend and ask for company

Buy a cuddly toy

Give someone a hug with a smile

Put a face mask on

Watch a favorite TV show or movie

Eat something ridiculously sweet

Remember a happy moment and relive it for a while in your head

Treat yourself to some chocolate

Try to imagine the future and plan things you want to do

Look at things that are special to you

Compliment someone else

Make sculptures

Watch fish

Youtube funny videos!

Let yourself cry

Play with a pet

Have or give a massage

Imagine yourself living in a perfect home and describe it in your mind

If you're religious, read the bible or pray

Light a candle and watch the flame (but please be careful)

Go chat in the chat room

Allow yourself to cry; crying is a healthy release of emotion

Accept a gift from a friend

Carry tokens to remind you of peaceful comforting things/people

Take a hot bath with bath oil or bubbles

Curl up under a comforter with hot cocoa and a good book

Make affirmation tapes inside you that are good, kind, gentle (Sometimes you can do this by writing down the negative thoughts and then physically re-writing them into positive messages)

Make a tray of special treats and tuck yourself into bed with it and watch TV or read

Write words in the sand for them to be washed away

Alternatives for when you're feeling panicky or scared:

“See, hear and feel”-5 things, then 4, then 3 and countdown to one which will make you focus on your surroundings and will calm you down

Listen to soothing music; have a CD with motivational songs that you can listen to

Meditate or do yoga

Name all of your soft toys

Hug a pillow or soft toy

Hyper focus on something

Do a “reality check list” – write down all the things you can list about where you are now (e.g. It is the 9th November 2004, I’m in a room and everything is going to be alright)

With permission, give someone a hug

Drink herbal tea

Crunch ice

Hug a tree

Go for a walk if it's safe to do so

Feel your pulse to prove you're alive

Go outside and attempt to catch butterflies or lizards

Put your feet firmly on the floor

Accept where you are in the process. Beating yourself up, only makes it worse

Touch something familiar/safeLeave the room

Lay on your back in bed comfortably (eyes closed), and breathe in for 4, hold for 2, out for 4, hold for 2. Make sure to fill your belly up with air, not your chest. If your shoulders are going up, keep working on it. When you're comfortable breathing, put your hand on your belly and rub up and down in time with your breathing. If your mind wanders to other things, move it back to focusing ONLY on the synchronized movement of your hand and breathing.

Give yourself permission to.... (Keep it safe)

Create a safe place for yourself and take yourself there

Lay on the grass and watch the clouds. You can try to make pictures with them too.

Light a candle and watch the flame

Alternatives that will hopefully make you think twice about harming yourself:

Think about how you don’t want scars

Treat yourself nicely

Remember that you don’t have to hurt yourself just because you're thinking about self harm

Create a safe place to go

Acknowledge that self harm is harmful behavior: say “I want to hurt myself” rather than “I want to cut”

Repeat to yourself “I don’t deserve to be hurt” even if you don’t believe it

Remember that you always have the choice not to cut: it’s up to you what you do

Think about how you may feel guilty after self harming

Remind yourself that the urge to self harm is impulsive: you will only feel like cutting for short bursts of time

Avoid temptation

Get your friends to make you friendship bracelets: wear them around your wrists to remind you of them when you want to cut

Be with other people

Make your own list of things to do instead of self harm

Make a list of your positive character traits

Be nice to your family, who in return, will hopefully be nice to you

Put a band-aid on the area where you'd like to self harm

Recognize and acknowledge the choices you have NOW

Pay attention to the changes needed to make you feel safe

Notice "choices" versus "dilemmas"

Lose the "should-could-have to" words. Try... "What if"

Kiss the places you want to SH or kiss the places you have healing wounds. It can be a reminder that you care about myself and that you don't want this

Choose your way of thinking, try to resist following old thinking patterns

The Butterfly Project- draw a butterfly on the place(s) that you would self harm and if the butterfly fades without self-harming, it means it has lived and flown away, giving a sense of achievement. Whereas if you do self-harm with the butterfly there; you will have to wash it off. If that does happen, you can start again by drawing a new one on. You can name the butterfly after someone you love, or have a loved one draw it for you.

Write the name of a loved one [a friend, family member, or anyone else who cares about you] and write their name where you want to self harm. When you go to self harm remember how much they care and wouldn't want you to harm yourself.

Think about what you would say to a friend who was struggling with the same things you are and try to be a good friend to yourself.

Make a bracelet out duct tape, and put a line on it every day (Or any period of time) you go without self harm. When it's full of lines, take it off and make a chain out of all the bracelets and hang it up somewhere where you can be reminded of your great progress.

Alternatives that give the illusion of seeing something similar to blood:

Draw on yourself with a red pen or body paint, or go to a site such as this, where you 'cut' the screen (be aware that some users may find this triggering, so view with caution)

Cover yourself with plasters where you want to cut

Give yourself a henna or fake tattoo

Make “wounds” with makeup, like lipstick

Take a small bottle of liquid red food coloring and warm it slightly by dropping it into a cup of hot water for a few minutes. Uncap the bottle and press its tip against the place you want to cut. Draw the bottle in a cutting motion while squeezing it slightly to let the food color trickle out.

Draw on the areas you want to cut using ice that you've made by dropping six or seven drops of red food color into each of the ice-cube tray wells.

Paint yourself with red tempera paint.

'Cut' your skin with nail polish (it feels cold, but it's hard to get off)

Use red food colouring on your skin

Alternatives to help you sort through your feelings:

Phone a friend and talk to them

Make a collage of how you feel

Negotiate with yourself

Identify what is hurting so bad that you need to express it in this way

Write your feelings in a diary

Free write (Write down whatever you're thinking at that moment, even if it doesn't make sense)

Make lists of everything such as blessings in your life

Make a notebook of song lyrics that you relate to

Call a hotline

Write a letter to someone telling them how you feel (but you don’t have to send it if you decide not to)

Start a grateful journal where everyday you write down three: good things that happened/ things that you accomplished/ are grateful for/ made you smile. Make sure the journal is strictly for positive things. Then when you feel down you can go back and look at it.

Books:

Bodies Under Siege: Self-Mutilation and Body Modification in Culture and Psychiatry By Armando R. Favazza

Bodily Harm: The Breakthrough Healing Program for Self-Injurers By Karen Conterio

A Bright Red Scream: Self-Mutilation and the Language of Pain By Marilee Strong

Cutting: Understanding and Overcoming Self-Mutilation By Steven Levekron

The Scarred Soul: Understanding & Ending Self-Inflicted Violence By Tracy Alderman

Secret Scars: Uncovering and Understanding the Addiction of Self-Injury By V.J. Turner

Self Injury: Psychotherapy with People Who Engage in Self-Inflicted Violence By Robin Connors

Skin Game: A Cutter’s Memoir By Caroline Kettlewell

Women and Self-Harm: Understanding, Coping, and Healing from Self-Mutilation By Gerrilyn Smith

Women Living with Self-Injury By Jane Wegscheider Hyman

Stopping the Pain: A Workbook for Teens Who Cut & Self-Injure

#self harm #alternatives to self harm #self harm alternatives #life advice #general #not trans specific

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kamino-ink · 5 years

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Wither | Kim Woojin

genre ⌁ dystopian, sci-fi, adventure, dystopian!au, angst, fluff, inspired by The Hunger Games!

summary ⌁ What’s left of the two Koreas is now the pit of entertainment for the rest of the world, built upon corpses, natural disasters, and lost wars - the scattered districts now fight to survive each day. When your name is plucked from the hundreds of thousands in the country, you are left no choice but to comply to your fate - either kill and win, or die trying.

word count ⌁ 3k

warning ⌁ incredibly violent w/ lots of gore, crude humor, suggestive at times, etc.

Check out my masterlist!

When you wake up, the other side of the bed is cold. The only visible evidence of a body having been laying there the previous night is a strewn section of the tattered sheet and a single pillow with a bit of a dent in it. An afterglow of the morning light seeps through the cracks of the wooden walls, spreading across your warm cheeks, one of which was still pressed against the pillow under your head. You prop yourself up onto an elbow, tired gaze searching for Seungmin.

You sit up begrudgingly from the stale comfort of the mattress, ignoring the small wince of pain that jolts up your spine and the distinct pop of your wrists as you push yourself up. Finally your gaze manages to focus on the span of the tiny room, the younger boy in question stood in front of a broken mirror by the foot of the bed. Clad in only a pair of shredded sweatpants, his bare back is open for the world to see. Dark scars run down his melanin skin, leaving no space for healing.

Sitting at his exposed feet is a giant beast of a dog - he insists that it’s a mixed bastard, though by the appearance of the damn things drooling canines and scratchy pelt, you still think he picked up the runt of a coyote. As if it can sense your gaze burning daggers into the boy’s back, the dog lifts its muzzle and curls its lip, showing off the cracked teeth and his lolled tongue. His green gaze meets yours, as if challenging you to approach.

Deciding not to risk pissing off the runt, you instead slide off the ancient mattress, a slight squeak from the springs making you flinch just a little. “Seungmin, you should be getting ready.”

“So should you, Y/N.” He retorts quickly, thankfully tearing his harsh stare from his shattered reflection of the dusty mirror to look you up and down. “I would say sorry for letting you sleep in, but... then I would be lying.”

“And we do not tell lies in this home, Minnie. Good on you.” You tease him lightheartedly as you go to the closet door, which has been permanently stuck to be open ever since the sliding door had jammed after an earthquake a few years back. You listen to his quiet scoff at your teasing words while you shuffle through the closet, searching for an appropriate outfit for the day’s big event. Your fingertips brush against what feels like a cardboard box near the back of the closet, which you subtly bring out.

The top is riddled with dust and grime, though you were used to the germs and murk covering just about anything in the house. Of course you couldn't help but gag a little in pure disgust at the sight of whatever god forsaken substance had rubbed onto your fingers from the lid. Still, you slide the lid off the box, only to hesitate when you see the clothing inside.

The hesitation to bring out whatever might be in the box is obvious to your brother, to which he sends you a solemn look before his cold gaze travels down to the box. It’s clear that he recognizes it by the flash of emotion in his eyes, but he doesn’t discourage you from exploring what’s inside. “It’s Amber’s dress, the one that Henry gave her before the annual ball,” the brunette explains quietly, “he gave it to me after the funeral. Said s’mthing about Amber wanting to give it to you when it got to be too small.”

Amber... god you missed her.

“I - what if Henry sees me in her dress?” You question him almost inaudibly, though you decide to go ahead and grip the material of the wool dress and slowly bring it out of its lone container. “I don’t want to bring up those memories, Minnie. You know damn well that he’s been trying to forget everything for years now.”

“Then don’t wear it. You’re the one making a big deal out of it, Y/N.” The younger retorts in a dry tone. He opts to let the room fall into strange but comfortable silence as you stare idly at the dress now dangling from your fingertips, and he follows your actions in the way of haphazardly throwing a shirt over his top half, effectively covering the scars dotting a majority of his body.

“... the dress suits you, Y/N. You’ll look beautiful - maybe a person of the opposite gender might actually give you the time of day.”

“Uh huh, like who? Kino?”

“Definitely not Kino - I mean you’d catch his attention, but I’d beat the shit outta him before he got the chance to talk to you.” Seungmin says immediately, ruffling the top of your head of hair as he walks out of the bedroom, the stinky dog following at his heels. “Hurry up and get dressed, though. Baekhyun and Chanyeol said they’d be waiting by the records hall for us.”

And then he’s gone, having let the curtain separating the bedroom from the rest of the house fall back into the entryway behind him. You look back to the wool dress sitting in the palms of your hands - the dress that belonged to your older sister all those years ago. She had always wanted you to wear her clothes, mostly the knitted dresses her love Henry had made, but when you were younger you had vehemently refused; you were a child who favored the common tattered jackets and clothes of your district rather than the better looking cloth Amber’s wealthy beau had made himself.

She had never gotten the chance to see you wearing her clothes. She never got to see how you would look in the fashion that she adored simply because they came from the man she loved. In fact, she was like you, preferring the thin cloth and ripped pants most seen hanging off the bodies of other Chester residents; but when it came to Henry, she wouldn’t hesitate to try on the dresses he designed.

With a soft sigh you start to strip yourself of the nightgown with holes in it and a ripped trim, letting it fall to the floor and coil around your bare feet. Taking the dress and sliding it over your naked body, you wonder if perhaps your sister is watching - maybe she could finally see her little sister wearing the dress she adored so much - albeit for a day of sorrow and nightmares.

Chester was known for its gloomy atmosphere and just as chilly temperatures. The older district was in the heart of South Korea, stretching from what was once known as Seoul all the way to Busan. Arguably the better option of all the accumulated districts, the cold days and nights were heaven compared to some of the nuclear fallout to the west or south. In the other districts, it was rare to find food or even proper shelter - being accepted to reside in Chester was a diamond in the rough for many families, including yours.

After the nuclear fallout between North and South Korea almost a century ago, both countries turned to dust - those who somehow survived the war unified both halves of the whole as best as they could, seeking assistance or asylum from other countries and world powers.

But the help never came - at least, not after the disease had started to spread.

It started when the United States flew out military personnel and some doctors to help rebuild or save lives. No one had been aware of it back then, but the lingering radiation that didn’t automatically kill the survivors had seeped into their cells, staining their genetic makeup somehow. Yet when those who came from the outside came in contact with those they were sent to help, their skin would blister with bubbles that popped within seconds, spraying contaminated blood and pus onto their skin. In the first twenty-four hours of recovery efforts, anyone from the outside either died or escaped back to their home countries before they became infected. What was left of the two Koreas became outcastes to the world, with no help coming in that century or the next.

And now your generation, along with every generation after that, was known as the Alien Bloods - not very creative in your opinion, or too witty; but in any case it was true. You and your brother, along with anyone else in North and South Korea, had tainted blood.

So how were any cities still alive? How did the districts come about? If no help ever came, how was it that you were even alive?

Entertainment. That was what the two countries became to the entirety of the healthy population. Apparently the economy of literally every other country had started to collapse due to the annihilation of the war, and the world powers thought it best to create something from the ashes - something that would bring in commercial success from every corner of the globe. And thus, The Radiation Games was born - stolen right from the title of an ancient novel dubbed The Hunger Games, though they switched it to be a tad bit more fitting with the nuclear situation at hand.

There were districts instead of cities or towns, and you happened to be... “lucky” enough to live in Chester district; only those who had less of the genetic mutation than the rest of the population were permitted to reside in the giant sector of the country, and your family was part of that closed circle. Chester was the hub, so to speak, of what was left of South Korea while North Korea became the black-market central, namely the district of Nixvar. Two halves of a whole indeed.

Walking out of the stone and wood block you called home, the first thing you spotted was a crowd of US soldiers, white and yellow radiation suits clinging to every inch of their bodies. They donned familiar helmets similar to that of an astronaut’s, the yellow skull signa a trademark of their line of work; being dubbed as Cybs by pretty much everyone.

“’bout time you got done changing.” Seungmin snorted in amusement, kicking himself back up from the gray wall beside the doorway once you step outside. He follows your dead gaze that pierces the suits of the Cybs, almost laughing to himself when one of the bigger ones notices your glare and quickly whips their attention back to their formation. “Come on, Baekhyun and Chanyeol will never let us live it down if we’re late.”

You nod in silence, watching as the boy sends his dog away and makes sure that it doesn’t follow the two of you into the hub - if a Cyb caught sight of an animal like that in Chester, the damn runt would be shot down without hesitation.

Seungmin leads the way, as he always has when it was Reaping day, one of his callused hands tugging gently on your own. Any sort of crowd blocking the paths into the central hub during their walk to the event split away upon seeing your brother, their gazes either admiring, fearful, or filled with burning rage.

You notice as clear as day how his grip tightens on your hand, the way he straightens his posture in front of the beady glares directed at him. Any time the two of you would leave the house it was similar to this exact situation - the other residents of Chester would watch as their past victor strolled through the district perfectly alive and well, though they wished he was six feet under.

The pair of you get to the records hall faster than expected, and of course, there are two much taller people waiting for you.

“I was wondering if you idiots would be late - hell Baekhyun took nearly an hour getting ready-”

“I did not, dipshit! I simply took careful time to make sure I looked good for the cameras; I mean, one of them might catch my youthful innocence and make me a star in the other countries!”

You laugh quietly to yourself under your breath, breaking apart from an amused Seungmin to give quick hugs to the slightly older men who you both called your friends. “I’m sure that all the cameras will be focused on you, Baek.”

The blonde makes a noise of agreement, wildly waving his hands in the air. “Aha! See Yeollie, Y/N agrees!”

“She’s humoring you, dumbass,” the tallest of your group deadpans, quirking an eyebrow in your direction, “we’ll talk more after this whole thing is over. I snuck in some deer meat from Nixvar, we can cook that and see if Jaebum finally got that old TV working.”

Everyone hums at that, picturing the cooked deer meat and an old movie at Chanyeol’s place above the White Clover Bar. Seungmin and Baekhyun walk ahead, the blonde pestering the younger boy by poking at his sides and messing with his hair.

“How was it today?” Chanyeol asks you under his breath as he walks beside you, having to glance down since you didn’t exactly come near his towering height. “I mean, with the crowds. Did everyone just...?”

“Yeah, but when don’t they?” You grumble in response, watching your little brother with diligent eyes just in case someone tried anything. Ever since Seungmin had won last year’s games it was as if the world had turned against him, all because of the way he’d done it. “Who knows, maybe they’ll be too busy watching people slaughter each other this year to care for a hot minute.”

The pink haired boy sighs at your sharp words, comfortingly resting one of his palms on your shoulder, leading you to the other two boys who’d found a clear spot in the crowd - likely since most of them had parted to make a good few feet between themselves and Seungmin. You go to stand beside your brother, Chanyeol going beside you while Baekhyun remains on the other side of the youngest.

Then you hear it - the unmistakable sound of platform boots clacking against the stone stage in front of the courthouse. Any and all conversation falls silent to the stadium as the main host finally makes his appearance, his bouncy blonde hair cut a different style than last year’s games. A couple of shiny rings curl around his thin fingers, and the young boy is donning a black skirt that swung down to his knees alongside a frilly sort of red shirt with sleeves that encased his hands like paws.

He saunters over to the microphone in the middle of the stage, tapping on it once to give it a quick test. “Ah, it’s working - good, good... in that case; welcome, welcome! As many of you know, I am Han Jisung, your favorite Radiation Games host and occasional interviewer! Today is Reaping day, where one male and one female contestant will be chosen to represent Chester in this year’s games. Now, for the ground rules: anyone is open to be chosen for the games, young or old, victor or not, it’s a fair game out here folks-”

Twelve districts, twenty-four competitors - it was as if the world powers had truly taken the concept from The Hunger Games and made it their own, in a way. How... admirable.

“Now, let’s start with the ladies!” Jisung hums brightly, leaning over to pick a single slip of paper from the giant glass bowl. He shuffles around for a moment, his tongue poking out from between his lips until he finally picks a name. Slowly, he unfolds the paper, and for a split second you can see the look of surprise and guilt flashing across his face. “O-oh! It looks as if the Reaping is becoming a fam-family tradition!”

“Y/N Y/L/N, please come forward!”

No. This couldn’t be happening.

You were supposed to leave with Seungmin, Baekhyun, and Chanyeol. You were supposed to go have fun with your brother and best friends, eating deer meat and watching shitty movies all night while those who hadn’t fallen victim to the reaping partied in the bar below Chanyeol’s block.

You weren’t supposed to be picked.

“M-miss Y/N, please hurry along now-”

“NO!” Seungmin screams from beside you, blocking the incoming Cybs from being able to reach you. His voice cracks as he shouts curses at everyone, going as far as to nearly lunge at a Cyb that tries to pull him away from your frozen body. “You fucking bastards already took Amber away from me, you’re not going to take my only other sister! I’ll fucking slaughter all of you dirty rats-”

Baekhyun somehow manages to pull the furious boy away, though his eyes are wide in shock, too. Chanyeol gently pushes you forward to the waiting Cybs, but not before giving you a tight squeeze of reassurance. He’s saying goodbye.

You let the men and women wearing radiation suits escort you to the front stage. You watch yourself on the screen above the stage as your feet subconsciously carry you to stand beside the waiting host.

“-moving right along, let’s pick from the gentleman!”

Who would take care of Seungmin? Sure he insisted that he would be just fine by himself most times, but he was still a kid in your eyes; though you supposed Baekhyun and Chanyeol would make sure to keep an eye on him in your place.

“Byun Baekhyun, please come forward!”

Another cry of outrage comes from Seungmin, and you're positive that you’ve let out a small noise of disbelief. For some reason, you torture yourself by watching as one of the men you called your best friend determinedly walks onto the stage, watching as his chest begins to rise and fall in waves of panic. Baekhyun shouldn’t be up here - you shouldn't be up here, waiting until you were forced to fight for your lives in an arena.

“... no volunteers? Well then - give a warm round of applause to your contestants from Chester; Y/N Y/L/N and Byun Baekhyun! May the odds be ever in your favor!”

From the looks of things, it was as if the odds were never in your favor.

#skzwriters #stray kids #stray kids au #stray kids fic #stray kids scenario #stray kids drabble #stray kids imagine #kim woojin #woojin scenario #woojin imagine #stray kids angst #stray kids fluff

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