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hirokiyuu · 2 years

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BEAT AITSF thoughts (and spoilers obvs!) under hte cut

overall v enjoyable!!!! i thought it was both very zany and very well done as a mystery, which is to say that there was a fuckton of absolutely fucking insane shit that was still foreshadowed to the point i guessed date was in someone else’s body VERY early on LOLOLOL i actually guessed quite a few twists (iris being deathly ill, date was falco before etc) but it was still v satisfying to see them unfold and there was enough batshit Uchikoshi Fuckery (tm) to make it v fun!!!!

mizuki was my fave character by quite a lot LOL her route was probably my fave. her somnium w/date ;___; i liked iris and date’s dynamic but i wasnt super big on her as a Character if that makes sense ghlkashglkhs felt too hard like she was meant to be Loveable and that ended up turning me off her LKGHLSKHDGLKHSGD extremely funny bc in retrospect i realized the times i liked her best were when. she wasnt even iris but was saito in iris’s body GLKHALKSHGLKASHG SORRY IRIS

ota i kind of wanted to grab by the neck and shake. multiple times. actually thinking abt this i kind of still want to which is ironic bc one of the three times i cried was his route (his moms somnium) MAYUMISAN TRIES SO HARD FOR U BRO............. BRO........................ the other two times i cried were a) mizuki route (a lot) and b) tadaima/okaeri aiba/date LOL

aiba/date in general........... was really good i love bodysharing i love ppl being idiots together i like how she both gave him shit and played along w/whatever dumb shit was coming out of his mouth it was so good. when magnemite combines to form magneton their brains combine but They Don’t Get Any Smarter. VERY good dynamic i like them a lot

tbh a lot of the characters were most appealing ot me in Dynamics rather than individually. aiba/date duo peak iris+date duo peak ota+saito as iris duo. Peak. Very Peak. Wait I’m Having A Horrible Idea, Sorry For This Dead Dove I Might Write. speaking of dead doves what the fuck pewter and okiura were boyfriends........ the subtlety of it was Good also wtf i was upset abt the watch stuff HE GOT SO UPSET BC IT WAS A GIFT FROM.............. PEWTER HIS GAY BOYFRIEND IM SO MAD ABT HOW MUCH I LIKE THIS

uhhhhh other things i wanted to talk abt. i think overall the theming of eyes was very well done it tied everything up very nicely. the fact that the psync machine was based on the eye of horus was a nice touch that really brought a lot of the mythology etc stuff into line. good shit

localization was also v well done i was listening to the a-set fanchant lines in jpns and i was like. Wow This Must’ve Been Hell To Translate. in general it was good tho.......... some parts were a little awkward but c’est la vie. a-set being translated to tesa instead of asettonchan makes sense but that was the one that kept bugging me when i heard it I GET WHY BUT

anyways. good game i will buy nirvana initiative when its no longer full price probably. i dont think i will go back and 100% it when i also just bought disco and also might snag triangle strategy over summer break but we shall see...... u never know where life leads u

#aitsf spoilers #in summary: good game mizuki was peak #i think date should kiss his own eyeball #oh i didnt mention this but after getting to the reveals abt date i was like #yeah no fucking wonder em likes this guy #no spoilers but i am thinking of their fave sdr2 chara #LOL #personal

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angeltrapz · 3 years

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m sorry ur havin a rough night, but i come bearing Chainshipping asks 💙💙 I wld love to hear ur thoughts on Adam teaching Diana photography, n how Lawrence feels seein her bond w Adam! + also favorite lil things they do to surprise each other, when they know th other is havin a rough day but not admitting it, or just bc they thought th other wld like it— lil stuff to make each other smile. + bonus, as far as the polycule goes bc we’ve both kinda touched on tht it takes a lil while to warm up to th idea, how do u think tht conversation goes between Adam + Lawrence, n who is th first other member where Lawrence is like “oh hey, I love them too”

thank u,,, I appreciate it sm <33 I always love getting asks frm u!!

Adam + Diana bonding over photography:

ohhh my gosh that would be adorable!!! I feel like it takes a little while for Lawrence to feel comfortable with having Adam and Diana interact - not bc he doesn't trust Adam or think he'd be a bad influence, but just bc he wanted to be sure things were going to work out between them; he didn't want to put Diana through that, have her get attached to someone who might end up not sticking around (again, not bc he thought he and Adam would split! he just wanted to make sure they were established for a while is all). but the moment he does? ohhhh these two melt his heart on the regular.

I kind of have this belief that Adam is good with kids, but not even he knows why? he has a heart fr kids, he can't help it, but he certainly didn't see himself becoming involved w someone who already had children,, that being said he loves Diana, and she loves him just as much!! it's kind of similar to the Daniel situation but leaning more toward the parental side of things; she just thinks he's about the coolest adult she knows and it's very evident. so they get along really well and god does it make Lawrence happy - honestly, it only serves to make him fall harder. Adam lets Diana paint his nails and will paint hers, he builds pillow forts for them to hide in, he'll read to her before bed, things like that; it's honestly not a surprise that she's interested in his photography!

the very first time she asks him about it, it starts with her being like "this is really cool!! how did you get so good at doing that??" and Adam's just sort of like. You Think That's Cool?? and that's kind of when he starts to become aware of how highly Diana thinks of him,, he needs a whole moment later where he just hides his face in Lawrence's chest and breathes through it bc Holy Shit. this is also where it kinda starts to set in for him that like, this is his family. (the next time he has a moment like that is when she calls him dad for the first time, but that's later down the line!)

hdkjsaf anyway. I feel like he wld be really excited to share this with Diana!! knowing that she's genuinely interested in it helps a lot and the fact that she's such a visual/hands-on learner like himself also helps things along!! I really like the idea that he gets her one of those disposable cameras to kind of give her a chance to explore it herself, so like the three of them will be at the park, Adam and Lawrence sat on one of the benches (when Adam isn't chasing her around the playground), while Diana runs around (within their line of sight, of course) and takes pictures of everything she finds interesting + worth capturing and Lawrence just sort of sighs and says "she's having so much fun. I love you." and Adam's just. "I love you too,,, 🥺🥺" it's so overwhelmingly domestic that Adam just needs a second to sit w it,,

Diana's also a quick learner so it's really cool when they compare her pictures to ones she takes later on!! it's definitely something that serves to strengthen their bond and kind of the catalyst for Adam to realize Hey, Diana Loves Me Too (ESP bc I feel like Adam would be super nervous around her at first, due to being Lawrence's new partner/not Alison, so her approval actually does mean a lot to him,, I gotta be honest I think abt chainshipping + Diana family dynamics all the time)!!

for Lawrence it's just like. Diana's approval ALSO means the world to him. he Loves seeing his partner and his daughter getting along so well; Lawrence didn't ever really envision himself being divorced prior to their game (even if he and Alison had discussed it/at least a separation of sorts), so he's kind of unsure about navigating dating after something like that, especially where Diana is concerned, so to have her love Adam just as much as he does is so so important. he definitely tears up over it sometimes, he can't help it. these are his two favourite people.

little things they do fr each other:

for surprises I think they're relatively lowkey just bc neither of them really like Big surprises,, most times it consists of smth like "I saw this and thought of you!" or "I thought you'd like this so I picked it up!" and that's more than enough for them. occasionally though they Do like the spoil each other in their own special ways, so sometimes Lawrence will come home from work and the entire apartment is clean, there's music playing from that little stereo they have, and there's Adam in the kitchen with flour and brownie batter on his cheek and his shirt and in his hair bc maybe he's not the best cook, but he can bake (at least. brownies.) and Lawrence will just stand in the threshold of the kitchen fr a little bit after dropping off his coat and briefcase and lining up his shoes in the hallway, just watching Adam with this lovesick grin on his face until Adam finally turns around and sees him (he's not shocked, Lawrence always announces himself) and smiles back and it's so. <333

other times Adam will come home from a shoot to see Lawrence on the couch with Adam's favourite takeout, already in his pajamas and with their comfiest blanket next to him on the couch, and he's got a movie ready (usually The Princess Bride, as I've mentioned b4,,) and is just like "hey, I know you haven't eaten yet so I ordered in. wanna sit w me?" and of course Adam is always like of course I do!!! it's definitely one of those things where he's just smiling the whole time because this is a level of bliss he never saw himself reaching b4 Lawrence. he never imagined having someone to come home to, someone who loves him like this, and it's as simple as Lawrence making sure he eats + just wanting to take the time to relax w him while watching smth they both enjoy to make Adam realize this is love.

as for little things they do fr each other when they're having rough days? for Adam, I like the idea that Lawrence tosses one of his sweaters into the dryer for a little while so that it's warm when he takes it out, and then he brings it to wherever Adam has holed up while he rides out a shitty day and is just like "here, I know you're not having a good day so I brought you this. it's warm :)" and Adam is always just. "thank you" bc verbalizing things is hard on his bad days if he's not completely nonverbal (he does know the sign fr thank you + teaches it to Larry so he knows), but on the inside he's definitely just like 🥺🥺 ohhh my god I love you so much?? the other is that he'll make one of Adam's favourites for dinner because he firmly believes in the concept of comfort food serving to make things a little bit better. then they'll just sort of curl up on the couch or in bed and Adam will hide for a little while (like u've mentioned b4) until he feels good enough to at least lay his head on Lawrence's shoulder and watch him read/fill out crosswords (my fave hc concerning Lawrence is that. he likes them. he gets books of 'em Adam is so endeared by it).

for Lawrence, since he's the kind of person that throws himself into performing tasks (stress cleaning, paperwork, tending to things around the apartment, etc.) to keep his mind off of how upset he's feeling, I think the biggest thing Adam does is after a little while of Lawrence doing his thing, he'll come up behind him wherever he is and just kind of lead him away like "why don't you rest for a minute." and at first he wasn't rlly receptive to it, preferring to just sort of shake Adam off and be like "I'm okay, thank you for asking," even if he was very obviously Not Okay. eventually, though, all Adam has to do is put his hands on his shoulders and knead for a little bit before Lawrence just sighs and melts into it. he tenses up a lot, so his muscles are often really sore as a result, so when Adam does that it's a reminder to kind of sit back before that happens. the other, like you've also mentioned b4, is that Adam just holds Lawrence when he needs it, which is something he hadn't ever really experienced b4 but comes to appreciate very much. this is usually when Lawrence feels safest/the most seen + heard, so it's often where he cries it out, too.

otherwise it's just those little things; Lawrence will make Adam his cup of coffee in the morning, Adam will do Lawrence's tie for him b4 he heads off to work (his one weird ability, he supposes), holding the door open for each other when they're out and about, getting each other smth to drink + little snacks, stuff like that!! (one of my other favourites: sometimes when they go out for dates, Lawrence will pull Adam's chair out for him. Adam used to think smth like that wld be very stupid. when it's Lawrence, he comes to realize what was so endearing about it - not that he'd say that out loud tho)

polycule discussion:

I've actually thought abt this b4!! I feel like Adam wld be very very nervous abt it at first, just bc he knows it's something that a lot of ppl still consider to be unconventional + impossible, but he would definitely want to have that talk w Lawrence bc 1. that's his partner, and 2. of course he wants Lawrence to be aware of that/wants to hear what his feelings are. like u said though, he doesn't reject it entirely or anything like that - he just sort of needs time to understand it + see how it works, as it's absolutely smth he would have no prior familiarity with (esp being w Alison in a monogamous marriage).

the important thing here is Lawrence is comfortable asking questions. he might word things a little funny and might make Adam laugh a couple times, not unkindly, but he's genuinely so curious abt it and unafraid to ask (which is better than coming up with some false assumption)!! it's both delicate and not, which I think Adam wld prefer rather than it being too serious or bc of disapproval obviously. he always feels more comfortable in convos where they can still contain serious subject matter, but they can still laugh a little bit.

so it does take Lawrence a while to warm up to it, but not out of a place of ignorance/ridicule; he just needs to familiarize himself w it is all! and that makes Adam feel sooo much better abt it. of course there was never the intention not to tell Lawrence, but to have him accept it and maybe even consider it down the line does wonders to relax Adam.

I've actually thought abt who the first other member Lawrence kinda fell for wld be and I think it wld be Eric! it can definitely be partially attributed to the fact that bc Adam spends a lot of time around him (they ARE dating), Lawrence does too as a result, but there's more to their relationship than just being. boyfriend adjacent. they have things in common that they don't really w anyone else (i.e. being a parent that has been through a trap + had their kid directly endangered by Jigsaw and are helping them cope) and they kind of have very similar feelings (guilt/thinking things were their fault, feeling like they failed their kids, feeling like they're bad ppl like Jigsaw thought, things like that) so they bond through those things - and, of course, over both of them dating Adam.

u've mentioned this b4 + I agree w it so: I feel like Eric might kinda be the first person other than Adam to realize Lawrence's tendency to overwork himself to avoid having to confront his upset feelings. a big thing Eric does for him is he'll bring a little snack w him and maybe something to drink and he'll hand them off and be like "I know you're busy but you gotta remember to eat, I'm just gonna go chill over here," and then he'll just set himself up in a corner in the same room so that Lawrence isn't alone. he doesn't try to get him to stop, doesn't ask him what's wrong though it's clear he'd listen if Lawrence wanted to share, just makes sure he's taking care of himself + reminding him that ppl are there for him. and fr Lawrence that's kinda like. Oh. bc it's that silent type of understanding where they don't even have to announce it out loud. Lawrence doesn't feel the need to explain himself. having that not only w Adam, but Eric too, is definitely smth that sort of leads into that realization of "I think I love him too."

and there are moments where Lawrence will come to spend the night at Adam + Art?(it's up to you)/Eric's apartment when Eric falls asleep facing Lawrence while Adam is pressed up against his back and knowing the issues Eric has w his chronic insomnia + feeling safe enough to drift off to sleep easily, seeing the way being around Adam helps him relax and that being held leads him to sleep quicker than anything else, it just kinda makes Lawrence wanna hold him and not let go. he knows Eric wasn't shown that kind of tenderness often, that physical contact was something he was denied for so long, and it just. makes Lawrence Seethe that someone would ever do that to him, in this protective way that Lawrence can't deny feels a lot like love. it only ever increases when Eric wakes up screaming later and ends up with his face against Lawrence's neck once the tension fades away and he just sags against him, crying. Lawrence allows himself to hold Eric then, and he still feels like he never wants to let go. this man is so compassionate, so protective himself of the ones he loves and wld do anything to keep them safe. he is a big dog of a man that makes ppl feel held + understood and Lawrence loves him a little bit, he can't help it.

I think Lawrence finally fully realizes it when Eric stumbles across him having a panic attack bc he'd forgotten to turn the ringer off and it just so happened to go off at that moment. he's trembling and it's hard for him to breathe but Eric just kind of crouches down in front of him and is like "focus on me for a moment. can you do that?" and he rests his hands on Lawrence's upper arms. when Lawrence nods Eric takes one of his hands and places it on his chest n says "can you breathe with me?" and somehow, Lawrence steadily finds himself relaxing and able to draw more air in until he's not shaking as hard and he doesn't feel like he's sucking in air through a straw, and by then he's so exhausted by it all that he ends up with his forehead against Eric's sternum, and Eric just holds him, no words. and he says, "it's okay that it still upsets you, it's smth you can't help and that is fine. I just want you to know that." like he knew what Lawrence needed to hear, and it's just. oof. that's when Lawrence is just like Oh I See. I Love Him. I Love Him Too.

Adam is beyond delighted abt it when Lawrence actually tells him, and Lawrence can safely say that he's definitely more open to the idea after that!!

#the domesticity of it all...#it's what they deserve #saw #adam #lawrence #eric #asks #thank uuuu I was so excited to answer this!!!#I love yr asks they get me Thinkin #long post #as u can see im Very fond of yr lawrence/eric interpretation!!!

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holycalf · 3 years

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i started watching sku bc of your blog (and i really enjoy it!) but i dont get why you seem to like shiori but not ruka....i mean it seems like his intentions were a lot better than hers ever were tbfh am i missing something? not saying he went about things GREAT but....at least he actually seemed to care. shiori was just a bitch for the sake of being a bitch it seemed like...

hi! im glad ure enjoying it! it can definitely be a lot at times, and i think the first 12 eps can rub ppl the wrong way so props to u for getting thru those (even tho i liked em :) ) this is gonna be long so if u feel like reading an essay feel free to read under the cut

um.. i dont really know where to begin tbh? i mean you cant really talk about any of these characters without talking abt the other two so.... this is gonna be long.

so lets take shiori, who has a very classic case of internalized homophobia. which is confirmed by ikuhahras outtake on ep. 17 which states the following

“I finally realized the truth. To think that she loved me back! What a miracle! But...‘The loser in love is the one who lets their heart be ruled by it.’Everyone's adopted a provocative attitude toward someone of the opposite sex that they like at least once or twice, to get that person to notice them. So it's okay if I do that.This love will crumble if we touch. But when people don't touch, the love eventually dies away .That's why I decided to keep your love prisoner. To make sure that you love me forever. That game will make our love ‘eternal.’ I'm sure of it.We were ‘lovers lost from the beginning.”

so shioris in love with juri. im not sure if thats something u caught onto or not but its definitely the quintessence of her character, and needs to be considered when we consider her against ruka- since its a shared affection. also, i just like shiori, i dont necessarily think shes GOOD i just enjoy watching her and she feels very raw. shiori has a crippling inferiority complex, you can even tell through off handed conversations with her friends in hallways she exaggerates her stories to be more liked. juri is someone who has things come easy to her, and doesnt even really seem to care or notice. in the shows canon shes: liked by the student body, liked by teachers, admired by men (and girls too), academically inclined, good at bowling, captain of fencing club (and likely the most talented duelist- since shes the only one utena never properly beats) and a MODEL?????????? and shiori, at least in her own eyes, is painfully mundane. growing up next to someone who seems to have everything go in their favor, all of the while youre harboring having feelings for them (and jealous that youre among SO many suitors) is so frustrating! especially when you dont believe to have any at all. the elevator sequence when she discovers juris locket is a bit of a power trip for shiori, and also just a sort of confusion. shioris “why do you look at me like that?!” when she considers juri mid breakdown is a clear reflection of her own confusion, she may as well be saying “how could you possibly love me?”...but that was the black rose arc which all got undone anyways- so by the time we see shiori ruka arc she doesnt even know juris got the hots for her. when she first sees ruka, shes staring at juri first and only zeroes in on ruka once she hears people talking abt him. she takes ruka the same way she did that boy in middle school because he seems to be something coveted by the girls around her, its a very closeted gay girl move to decide to go for a boy just because other girls are into him... and it definitely helps that hes in such close contact w juri...he could easily be the one stored in that locket of hers, so why not take him?

so then we have ruka, who the entire time we watch him is smug, condescending, and genuinely one of the most unpleasant characters on the show. by the end we learn hes in love with juri, so maybe this persona was embellished to push her towards revolution to “free her from shiori” or whatever but.... sorry i dont care LOL! the way he treated shiori ALONE was enough for me to dislike him, there was NO need to tear apart and embarrass the girl like that. he took clear advantage of her crush on juri. his locker is seen right next to juris, and shiori is pressed up against one of the two lockers, but we arent shown which, “after all, that wasnt my sword,”....he knows shiori has been going to juris locker (and potentially polishing her sword but who knows. all we know is that she goes to juris locker.) and it is later revealed hes extra certain of her feelings because upon publically dumping her (another dick move) we hear her kinda stutter “I love you more than.... I love you more than anyone else” shes clearly beating around a bush because theyre in public, hes pinpointed she and juri are both into eachother, and instead of being a normal ass guy about it and just SETTING THEM UP and telling them to work their stuff out he chooses to, “out of love” assault juri, emotionally manipulates the girl juri is in love with, then inadvertantly cause juris locket to break which upsets her so deeply she forfeits her duel with utena. and upon that locket breaking he has the AUDACITY to think hes somehow freed her from something... when the girl is breaking down crying in the rain (the first and only time we ever see juri cry...even if its implied she does it in the shower that one time lol).......then just???dies??? like all he does in his time on the show is cause problems and die, all because he couldnt get over his feelings for a lesbian.... it just feels SO gross to me that he hides his assault and general abuse (can we talk abt how he likely took shioris virginity, JUST to break her down???) behind some icky hero complex

PLUS we see shiori at the end of that episode realize shes in that locket while juri is dueling, and we see her run up to juri at the end of the ep and it doesnt look malicious, it feels very...resolutiony? esp when you put it next to the miki/kozue closing scene of their car arc duel, which is explicitly bad terms, this feels more hopefully....suggesting some part of shiori has at least changed. ruka never got that luxury, he completely exploited two girls in order to add dramatic flare to his last few days and felt valid in doing so..... shiori never seemed to think her actions were JUSTIFIED.....which is sort of the point of the black rose arc where shiori is arguably at her worst........... the very ugliest part of ppl are brought out in those elevator sessions so thats what we see of shiori?

sorry for the essay!! but i hope this helps and make sense :-) feel free to ask any more questions u have abt the show, and i hope u continue enjoying it! im assuming ure still watching it, i dont know how far u are but if u JUST finished 29 then that means ure getting to some of my fave episodes! (33,37,39 :) )

tl,dr: shiori never assaulted anyone

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therewas-a-girl · 7 years

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promeytheus replied to your post: would you believe that there are literally zero...

AhahhHhahahahabah.

Can u believe every time I want to see a diggle meta it turns into an ota/olicity thing

Yes. yes i can believe that. easily.

can you believe that i want to punch someone every time i hear him called Yoda. serious question here, but am i really the only one bothered by this. idk, its not teh name per se but just the feel of it. i cannot put it into words, but it bothers me cause it feels reductive. john is not the holder of some great truth and universal wisdom. he is a wise man, its tru, and very good at balancing his issues out, but i feel like every time someone calls him ‘yoda’ it nullifies those issues and therefore, his depth?

idk its a weird feeling

Is it me, or is it not okay to want a meta that everything to do with diggle and not somehow be tied back to ota or felicity or oliver

it is not you.

it most definitely is not fucking okay. it’s tiresome. its bothersome. if you wanna blather my ear off about ota and how important it is - and not mean it as an exclusionary term the way so many mean it - then lets give all the characters involved their own importance and standing. diggle doesn't only matter when he’s propping up the other two white faves. like, please, he is his own person with his own life and i wanna talk about him a while and how he came to be this person, and where this wisdom in him comes from, and the sadness in him comes from and how come that he is so well balanced and how hard he tries, to look that way. if he fails, and breaks sometimes and how he puts himself back together.

or if he’s not the type to do that at all!

maybe john is with himself the way he is with everything else. maybe he is the kind that feels conflicted and is in great pain and lost when he doesnt know what to do, how to solve a problem. but once he makes up his mind, that’s it. he will be unshakable from then on, and he will force everything to make sense because he has already decided and THAT is where this sense of certainty and security that he gives off comes from

but tho i have these thoughts i would love to compare them to other people’s. i would love ot hear more talk of john, of the workings of his mind, expand my own understanding of him. i cant do that if everything circles back to the two assholes in love he shares a tea with.

or if you wanna play it like that, then make it an OT3 and we’ll all be happy.

but no, that’s not okay is it?

Like ke where are my metas about his relationship with lyla and what it must be like to have a son but know he had a daughter.

Yes where? how did john and lyla fall in love? who fell first? why does john love her? why does she love him? as in, what are the traits that one is most drawn to in the other? what are the things that they appreciate the most? are attracted to the most? you have one of the greatest, best love stories of Arrow here - these people fell in love when they were at war.

how did that fail them? how does it feel, when love fails you? how does it leave you? how does it change you? how did it change john and Lyla? what did they do differently the second time around? do they think about the mistakes they made, do they knowledge them. how do they deal with the things that never change: their pov-s about the world, about right and wrong, means and the ends. how do they deal with their differing ideas on necessity and morality? at the end of the day they must agree with each other on at least a part of their worldviews.

who is this man anyway? how does he like his coffee? what smells can’t he stand? is he the kind that does spring cleaning? who, between him and lyla, goes grocery shopping more often? how does he like to be kissed, touched? how do john and lyla prefer to fuck? these are all valid questions! who is the one between them with a real taste for pretty things (i think it’s john); who likes to go shopping for tickets? both, neither? who goes to war and comes back with souvenirs? what cant they stand about the other? the little bits of irritating habits? do they ever laugh about those? what does a fight between them look like?

how did it feel when John left for the army again? what did they talk about? what did lyla feel? what did john feel? how would it hurt them to see their marriage flounder so dangerously for the second time. they are both matter-of-fact people but they are both people who love with their whole hearts. how many times can the two same people break each other’s hearts? and yet they keep loving each other. i mean - come on!

can john imagine having a daughter? he’s the realist, the practical person. to him a never-there daughter is imaginary. but he was still very upset when he learned what barry had done. does he think about her? does he talk to lyla about her? does this sara they have never met come up when tehy talk about having another child? does it scare them?

Or about how he went from seeing Andy and literally was having hallucinations and then his story was just wrapped up. Since his s/l was my favorite last season it disappointed me so much how his s/l this season played out. So much potential wasted.

OH ANDY. people talk about oliver’s sacrifices a lot but imagine for a moment of oliver had to kill thea with his own hands. because making a parallel with the white male fav is the best way to get ppl to stop and think, so yeah i went there.

imagine sara having to kill laurel, felicity having to kill her mother.

john was so shaken, so traumatized that he doubted his whole world. he didnt know what was right and wrong anymore and for a man who relies so much on those set definitions that is like having him continuously tumbling down a rabbit hole.

he sought some steady ground in a structure that he knew, that he had relied on before: the military. he wanted the simplicity of being a soldier again. of not having to decide right and wrong, of just following orders. he wanted to detach himself from people he had failed, from the normal life he couldnt adjust to, from the every day responsibilities because how could be fulfill them when he couldn’t judge anything right. which is very important for someone like him. he needs a structure, clear lines that he needs to keep himself within. he believes those clear lines will keep him from making huge mistakes in judgment - he told this to oliver in s1 when oliver started fucking around with Helena and making excuses for her murderous streak.

this is literally like when oliver went back to lian yu after season 1 man.

the military failed him. he coudlnt rely on anyone thinking for him, making decisions for him. maybe it was also a kind of punishment though - going away.

no, it was. he hated himself so much over what he’d done that Deadshot - a man he’d hated for years - came to keep him company. which means that john hated his own self about as much as he’d hated Deadshot. which means that he really wanted to give up. john diggle wanted to give up on himself, to find some kind of atonement. or maybe he was just so tired and didnt believe he was worth it.

oliver got him out - john went back to his family. how did he and lyla reconnect? what did they talk about? how did he explain himself to lyla? did he? what exactly changed - how - in him, that he went from the man happy to rot in a cell to the man that wanted to fight for himself. was being with his family what changed him? was the team? oliver? lyla? was feeling how loved and dear he was to everyone whose life he’d touched what brought him back to some semblance of the man he was?

these are all things worth discussing.

#promeytheus #arrow thoughts #john diggle thoughts #dyla #that mr and mrs au with john and lyla is happening be it the last thing i do

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bigbrotherorre · 6 years

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EPISODE SIX: “IF ONE MORE PERSON TRIES TO BUILD THE PEACE IN THIS HOUSE I'M GOING TO THROW THEM THROUGH THE CLOSEST POSSIBLE WINDOW” - ALIVIA HOH: SAMMY EVICTED: RANDY - 7 TO 4

So... as expected Ricky went and I'm in mourning. I love Ricky SOO much! with my WHOLE hort. Otherwise, this HoH comp is AWFUL, everyone is gonna be FIGHTING. For this week, I would like a Bryce/Jose HoH because I think I'd be safe and because they'd go after Blake/Alivia/Lynn. HOWEVER, then next week, I'd like Alivia to win HoH and get Randy out because I do NOT trust Randy. Basically, provided I can get past this week with all the messy twists... I feel cautiously optimistic? Like I'm playing both sides and hopefully that'll work to my advantage? Eek we will seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Another day another lost comp

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SO, tea time with Ali! Except... not really. I'm literally about to set a BB Pokemon record because it is literally week 6 and I'm in 0 ALLIANCES. This is a MESSY MESS MESS. I wanna be in alliances, I want safety. Meanwhile, conspiracy corner... John was given the Jigglypuff, he didn't play it. The phrasing on the wiki & the posts were all.... off. I think Randy gave it to him, but I also feel like everything sketchy that happens is.... by Randy. Like I think Randy is the bot, and Randy is being this cracked mess... According to Sammy at least, the bot is now sending fake screenshots? WHAT KIND OF CRACKED JUJU IS THIS. I dont love this at all asjlkdfa In other news, Bryce & Jose _will_ be this season's F2 and I will not accept otherwise. Bryce is such a solid ally, like he is so sane, so nice, so good. Jose is the love of my life lkjafdsa, he is SO SWEET. like a good, wholesome boy right there is Jose. I LOVE THEM BOTH, THOSE ARE MY BOYS. I am a feminist, but I will convert to meninism if it means my faves make F2. ANYWHOMST. I love the hosts, Dennis added me to his Havana host chat and idk why he did that, since he _totally_ lays out his strategy in that... why did he do that, I am always booboo the fool but he can take that title from me for today. and thats how sue sees it, bye for now woooooooooooooooo!

I think I'm going home this week and I'm really worried. Like really worried, I've played badly and I'm now really expendable, and people are gonna send me home i literally spent a total of like 6 hours prepping for veto and I still screwed it up. I got 9 songs in like 7 minutes, but it took me like 30 more to find the last one ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (unfaithful by rihanna will literally be my downfall). I'm really scared. I think I would have Autumn & Jose's votes, but against Ashvika I think thats when it dries up askjldfa. I'm really really scared, I'm not ready to go home, I am such a bad player :( I don't even feel like Bryce is in my corner anymore, and I think Autumn could keep Ashvika like except for Jose I feel so alone :( I love Jose so much, I'm so lucky to have him in this game with me, but I'm also so scared :( I'm not ready to go home :( But I've let myself down and played badly.

Can y'all believe my son Samuel future nominated me and I get to sit here in peace? Maybe we're related after all I'm so used to being nominated it doesn't even phase me. Like I forget that you can actually go home because I.... can't relate. People are freeeaaking the fuck out and I'm just chilling, knowing my ass is immune and that my silver power of veto will snatch wigs. So to pass the time I'm currently on call with my new alliance, Jose and Ali, and Ali is legit shitting himself I feel terrible. But like it's fine cause I pulled him off, he just doesn't know yet. I'm honestly just ecstatic that everyone I love is gonna be safe- me, Sammy, Ash, Ali, John. I really just need Jose to not get nominated and then this streak of ugly weeks will come to an end wooooo

im just... not a fan of ppl SJDJHFSJDK everyone has such annoying ideas and im like... u do u but maybe dont!! Everyone keeps having opinions that are different than mine??? like cut it out. dennis cant literally do the bare minimum and not come across as sketchy for 1 second, and he also cant campaign to stay apparently??? hes a lot to deal with. and then randy is coming at me/sammy/zeezo and trying to seem smart for doing so, like wow you got us! go home maybe!! alivia has been very volatile all week and i have to deal with it. and ali is snapping because he thinks he would have gone home which i hope wouldnt have happened but i also dont know b/c theres an assumption that he isnt playing the game b/c hes vague and he might have went home because of it. but now he is being vague again and i think its prob b/c randy is campaigniing to him and trying to paint me/zeezo/sammy as a trio. when honestly we arent even.. theyre like a duo and im there!! also im a lynn warrior but we never talk so its awk. and also ali ratted to randy that if he wants to stay he needs LAB's vote and now alivia is mad he brought her name up and ugh ppl are doing so MUCH. also dennis just msg'd me like do i have ur vote?? who's voting me. MAYBE TALK TO PPL MORE AND NOT BE SKETCHY AND I WOULDNT HAVE TO BE THE MIDDLE MAN.

[ONE HOUR LATER]

omg.. i didnt mean those mean words. i love everyone in this cast. ali is so nice and trustworthy. alivia is feisty and full of energy, always keeping the game fun. dennis is actually like real fun to talk to and always feigns interest in w/e im saying (EXCEPT WHEN HE LIED ABOUT NOT HAVING LEGALLY BLONDE ON NETFLIX WHEN I KNOW HE DID). And randy has made this game so exciting!!!

[ONE HOUR LATER]

I TAKE BACK WHAT I SAID ABOUT ALI. HE IS FAKE FAKE FAKE SO FAKE FAKE FAKE. SAYS HE DOESNT KNOW WHOS HE VOTING AND CAMPAIGNS TO KEEP RANDY AND DUMB DUMB DUMB JOSE FALLS FOR IT. IF RANDY STAYS IM SCREAMING

[30 MINUTES LATER]

i am so sad for randy he really wanted this and dennis is kind of ugh to work with but randy was just too scary. he had the best exit so far tho and ill miss him so much. ALI CHOKE AHAHHAHAHA YOU THOUGHT!! ALIGNING ALL THE FLOATERS NOPE!!! TRY AGAIN. I LOVE ALI BUT I WAS LITERALLY SCREAMING B/C LIKE 5 MINUTES BEFORE THE VOTE ZEEZO IS LIKE DONT TELL ANYONE BUT ALI CONVINCED JOSE TO VOTE DENNIS OUT. SIDE NOTE i love john!!! he is so nice and ratted jose out like wig!!

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woo okay soooo i haven’t been able to make one of these in awhile cause I’m on vacation so i apologize if this is long....so to sum up everything I won hoh with the help of zeezo and Bryce. I had to nom ali and ashvika because i knew it wouldn’t cause that much drama. Then....they both got taken off so I nommed Dennis and Randy. I wanted randy gone from the getgo because he is very smart and sneaky. I’m pretty sure he was behind the Nicolas Julia account as well which really made me upset. He also never responded to me but would tell ppl to pm him and yeah. Other than that, the conversations i did have with him were great, and he’s super nice and even made me the birthday video. I just wasn’t too close with him. I just made up a random excuse for Dennis because I had to hide the fact I’m in an alliance with Kat and Jose but also zeezo and Bryce. and alivia and John couldn’t have been nommed....so if i had to make another nomination it would’ve been Lynn and Bryce....so that would’ve been very very bad for me because like I’m also close to blake so i can’t nom him. Anyway randy was crying on call and it made me super super sad and i felt like a bad Person so i was like wow:/ I have to decide which alliance I’m gonna choose but it might be zeezo and Bryce because like Jose and Kat don’t tell me everything and don’t like agree with me about votes and i think ali autumn Jose and Kat voted Dennis. Idk I’m just so done haha

if one more person tries to build the peace in this house i'm going to throw them through the closest possible window. i honestly feel like ali and dennis might have accidentally stumbled into the wrong game bc this is bb pokemon not whatever snowflake athena series you probably came from. i've tried to help ali throughout this game and explain to him that this isn't some summer camp where you braid each other's hair and make friendship bracelets but the kid just doesn't get it. i give up, and i think we need to focus on getting all the snowflakes and fatties out of this house as soon as possible. right now in the game i think that i might actually be in a pretty okay place. the house seems to be pretty divided vote after vote. there's the scammers, bryce, ashvika, sammy, and zeezo vs. the fatties: jose, john, ali, kat, and autumn. and as of now we outweigh the other house so we have a pretty good unofficially aligned group going here so hopefully we can keep that going!

CAST ASSESSMENT

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#episode #bborre

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