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prettyinlimegreenboots · 3 years

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Twelve Days of Holly, Jolly Tidings - Day 11

Disclaimers: I watched “Dash & Lily” the other day on Netflix. This story is LOOSELY based on that book and Netflix series. I do not own “Dash and Lily” or Newsies or anything recognizable within the series. There are occasional curse words throughout the series, nothing too horrible but there’s some.

Catch Up Here

Monday, December 23

Two days before Christmas found Kat curled up on her couch watching “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” and hugging a mug of peppermint hot chocolate in her hands. Her doorbell rang, causing her to pause the movie, getting up to answer the door.

Pulling open the door, her eyes went wide seeing someone dressed up as a gingerbread man standing at her doorway. “Are you Katherine Plumber?”

Knowing this had Jack’s name written all over it, she slowly nodded. “I am. And you are?”

Instead of answering her, the gingerbread broke out in song, singing “Holly Jolly Christmas” loudly, along with intricate dance moves and twirls. Part of Kat wanted to slam the door in its face, but a bigger part of her was secretly enjoying the singing gingerbread man. Once he finished, kneeling in front of her with his hands stretched out, she clapped for him. She paused, giving him a look. “Thank you for that absolute stunning performance.”

Pulling the gingerbread man’s hat off, she started laughing loudly seeing who was underneath. Giving her a dirty look, Albert shook his head. “Damn Jack for at least paying me to do this.”

“Do you want to come in?” Kat asked, pushing her front door wider, allowing him to step inside.

Albert was one of Jack’s friends that she absolutely adored - he went to college with them. Him and his fiance Finch were really good friends and they were often invited to game night at their house. “So how much did Jack pay you to do that?”

“You don’t want to know.” Albert shook his head, giving her a look. “Besides, he told me I had to bring this to you.”

Holding out the green notebook, Kat took it from him with a grin. “Thank you and thank you for making my day with that song and dance.”

“You’re welcome. Thank goodness you didn’t get any of that on film.” He grinned, putting the gingerbread man’s head back on.

She grinned . . . little did he know that she had a Ring as a doorbell. She wouldn’t be sharing that knowledge, allowing the video to do all the talking when she shared it with Jack and Race.

“Thanks again Albert.” She grinned, walking him to the door. “Have a great rest of your afternoon.”

She watched him walk down the stairs before shutting the door behind her. Shaking her head, she leaned against her door, opening up the notebook.

Happy 11th day of Christmas, Kat!

Hope you enjoyed that performance Al put on for you. BTW, I want the footage from your Ring!

I apologize that you’re getting the notebook late . . . . it took far too long to convince Albert to do that. I had to bring in the big guns of Finch, Race, AND Spot to get him to do it. But I hope that it made you smile.

For today’s adventure you’re going to the tallest building in the city. Go climb your mountain, your adventures awaits . . . so get a move on! Once you’re at the top, continue reading.

Grabbing her warm hoodie and her coat, she grabbed her bag, tucking the notebook into it before heading out the door. She shook her head, thinking she should’ve grabbed a mug of something warm before hitting the streets.

Stepping out of her apartment building, her eyes widened seeing the freshly fallen snow that fell overnight. At least six inches had fallen, creating a winter wonderland throughout the streets. Rubbing her hands together, she dug her gloves out, putting them on before heading towards the subway station.

Ducking into the underground, a heater blows warm air at her before a coldness could seep into her bones. Walking through the turnstile, she headed for the platform to wait. She smiled hearing kids jumping and giggling as they too waited for the train to arrive. With it being two days before Christmas, spirits were high and excitement palpable on the platform.

Skipping onto the train, she watched a little girl mimic her before taking a seat at the far end of the car. Keeping her eye on the little girl, Kat watched her as she kept a hand on the handrail as she spun, twirling her dress, her infection giggling ringing loudly in the car. Kat wiggled her fingers in the girl’s direction as her face lit up, eagerly shaking her hand back at Kat.

Several stops went by before she got off the train, heading to the street level. She would never get tired of getting off the subway and seeing One World Trade Center standing in front of her. The first couple of times she saw it, she would never be ashamed to say that she cried. It was just that powerful and moving.

Making her way to the building, she was relieved to see the area wasn’t that crowded. She stopped at the waterfall pools to pay her respects before heading to the stunning tower.

Walking into the lobby, she bought tickets to the Observation deck before joining the queue to the elevator. A couple of other people were in front of her so they made quick work on getting them onto the elevator and up to the 102 floor.

Stepping off the elevator, her eyes adjusted to the bright natural light from the big windows. Finding an empty bench, she took a seat, taking in the scene of the big windows, the city laid out at her feet, with a 360 degree view.

Opening the notebook, she found today’s entry before continuing to read.

Welcome to the One World Trade Center Observation deck. It’s another favorite place of mine - there’s something about being so high in the air that you can see a full 360 degrees around you. It’s a good place to think and draw when I’m feeling restless.

Anyways, I wanted you to come here to look at the prettiness of the city from your perch above. You have your stories about 9/11 just like I do but that’s not the purpose of today’s adventure. It’s just to appreciate the beauty surrounding you.

So, spend some time reflecting on the beauty around you. Write down everything you see beautiful, no matter how little or big it is.

Spending the next few minutes, she wrote down everything beautiful she had encountered in the last few weeks. The smile was permanent on her face as she relaxed with the sound of her pen scratching across the paper.

She felt someone sit down at the other end of the bench but paid them no attention as she continued to write. Clicking her pen, her eyes reread the things she wrote before moving onto Jack’s scrawl.

I think one of the things that we all do is getting caught up in the little nuances of the day that we forget that there’s something beautiful in every day. There’s always something good in the messy world we live in. I often have to remind myself to stop and smell the roses - slow down and just enjoy the little things that are around me.

Now, there’s a surprise for you today . . . . but it’s different from your usual surprises. In the exhibit hall, there’s a Christmas theme exhibit that you’ll want to check out. It’s actually really cool. In the exhibit, you’ll find your surprise.

Closing the book, she reread the last paragraph, confused by Jack’s words. Knowing, not to question him, she tucked the notebook back in her bag before walking over to the exhibit hall. Walking up the ramp, her eyes widened seeing the whimsical artwork along the walls. There was a wintery scene painted with various creatures greeting her as she walked; a mix of digital artwork and paintings.

At one point, there was a digital video that played. Watching it, she smiled, getting lost into the artwork that surrounded her. Continuing on her journey, she was stopped by a stunning painting of a woodland scene. The moon was in the corner, shedding light on the many birch trees in perfect lines. She searched the painting for an artist's name, frowning when she didn’t see one. “Stunning painting, huh?”

“It truly is.” She whispered, not taking her eyes off the work. “I was trying to find the artist’s name.”

“The artist’s name is Jack Kelly.” A familiar voice said as she looked over at his shoulder at him. He had a big grin on his face as he stepped up to join her. “Surprise!”

Her jaw dropped. “It’s stunning Jack, absolutely stunning.”

“Thank you.” He ducked his head, a blush on his cheek. “You kinda inspired it.”

Kat’s eyes furrowed, looking at her boyfriend. “How?”

“A couple of weeks ago you were talking about going into the woods just to get away, needing somewhere to breath and escape. I went home after that and painted this.” Jack smiled. “I knew they were doing this exhibit and after the hospital mural, I was approached to submit something for this. Your idea of needing to escape and going to the woods was actually good because it fit perfectly in with this wonderland.”

Slipping his hand in her, he squeezed it. “You’ve inspired more art of mine than you probably know. You’re a good muse.”

She giggled, a blush crossing her face as she ducked her head. “That’s good to know.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell you which ones.” He grinned, tugging on her hand as they made their way through the exhibit. “Let’s finish walking through. I haven’t actually seen the rest yet.”

“This is pretty cool . . . do they do this every year?” Kat asked as they stopped to look at a few more paintings.

Jack nodded. “They’ve done it the last few years. I came last year just to scope it out.”

She grinned, slipping her arm through the crook of his elbow as they continued their walk. Along the way, Jack pointed out little things that she wouldn’t normally see. She smiled as they finished walking through the exhibit.

Nodding, she followed him on the elevator as they descended. She watched him out of the corner of her eye. “You alright? Something is off about you but I can’t put my finger on it.”

“Just enjoying the Christmas feeling in the air.” He grinned. “You know it’s only two days until Christmas.”

She giggled. “A little birdie told me that. My parents left this morning for California.”

“Their loss and my family’s gain.” Jack shrugged, leaning over to kiss her cheek. “Come on, let’s head out.”

Leading her off the elevator, they walked out into the cooler night. Kat tugged on their linked hands, dragging him over to a bench. Sitting down, she shut her eyes, and just relaxed. “Pssst …. what are we doing?”

Cracking open an eye, she looked at him. “You were the one that talked about taking time to enjoy the little things. So I’m doing what you said.”

“Oh ok.” Jack grinned, reaching into his pocket to grab something before putting it on Kat’s lap. “While you’re doing that, I’m just going to make sure no one kidnaps you.”

Feeling a weight on her lap, she opened her eyes to look down - a white box laid there. “What did you do, Kelly?”

“Me?” He asked, eyes widened. “I didn’t do anything. This is your surprise for the day.”

Her eyes widened, picking up the much bigger box than usual. “It’s bigger than all the rest.”

“Way to pick up on that Captain obvious.” Jack mumbled, as she reached over and back handed his shoulder. “Maybe you should open it and not hit me anymore.”

Removing the lid, her eyes went wide seeing a bracelet inside. But she gasped as she recognized the contents on the bracelet. Attached to the bracelet were all the charms from the previous 10 days. Picking it up, she twirled it so she could see all of her little surprises. Looking up at Jack, her lips curled up in a smile. “It’s perfect, Jack. Thank you.”

Leaning forward, she pressed a kiss to his lips as he grinned. “I’m glad you like it.”

“It’s a perfect representative of the last 11 days.” She grinned as he took it from her before attaching it to her wrist.

“Perfect fit.” Jack twirled it so that all the charms hung from her wrist.

Lacing her fingers with his, she gave them a squeeze. “Hey, I want to say thank you. You have completely turned around this holiday season for me. I love you.”

“I love you too.” He tugged her close, bending down and kissing her. “I hate it when you’re upset and angry and truth be told, I just wanted to do something that would make you smile. And you’ve got a family that you’ve created all on your own, outside of your physical family and they care just as much for you as you do for them.”

Shaking her head, she looked down at their linked hands as tears crowded her eyes. “Thank you Jack.”

“You’re welcome, Kat. I’d do anything to make you smile.” He kissed her. “Anything.”

Standing up, he tugged her up into a standing position as she slipped her arm in the crook of his elbow. “So I have a question for you?”

Looking over at him as they walked, she raised an eyebrow. “Yes?”

“Is there anything that you would change in the past eleven days?” He looked over at her, his lip between his teeth, as if he was nervous about something.

Taking a few moments to think back on the eleven days, she twitched her mouth as she thought. Jack chuckled at her face watching her.

“Honestly, I don’t think so. You wrote so elegantly in that journal and made me think about a lot of things. You were constantly surprising me and bringing up the little details of our relationship that, honestly, I had forgotten about. It was a good trip down memory lane.” Kat grinned, shrugging. “But to answer your question, I don’t think there’s anything that I’d change.”

Nodding, Jack grinned. “Good. That’s what I wanted to hear.”

“I mean . . .” Kat started, Jack quickly shaking his head.

“You had your chance to speak your mind and you didn’t.” Jack interrupted, sticking his tongue out at her.

Her eyes lit up as an idea hit her. “Wait, I have one thing.”

Jack gave her a look, before nodding. “What’s that?”

“Another favorite look of mine.” Kat’s eyes lit up and truth be told, Jack would do anything to see her face light up like that again.

Biting his lip, he thought back on the past 5 years. “Another look . . . hmmmm.”

“Trying to figure out which one to tell me about or the one that’s less scandalous.” Kat grinned, as they stopped at a crosswalk.

Jack threw his head back, shaking his head. “No trying to figure out which ones I love more.”

Crossing the street, they continued to lazily walk down the street, with no real destination in mind. Kat tilted her head towards Jack. “Got one?”

“This outfit was the outfit you were wearing when I realized that I loved you.” Jack grinned. “We met in October and this outfit was one you wore in the middle of November. Remember when we went to clean up the woods?”

Kat’s eyes went wide. They had volunteered with a bunch of other kids in their dorms to clean up the ravines behind their campus. “I was in ratty jeans and an old hoodie. That’s one of your favorite looks of mine?”

“Yes, that’s one of my favorites. You had your hair tied up in a ponytail but by the end of the day, your hair was everywhere from walking in the woods. You kept telling me that you were a mess but I couldn’t tear my eyes away from you.” Jack grinned, biting his lip. “You were so drop dead sexy and you didn’t even know it.”

A blush crossed her cheeks, as she looked over at him. “Well if I knew that was going to be in your top ten looks, I would’ve cared a bit more.”

“The thing is, if you had known, it probably wouldn’t be in my list.” Jack quipped back grinning. “Besides, that was the first time that it hit me that I was actually in love with you.”

She raised an eyebrow. “So how long after that did you tell me?”

“I think like a week.” Jack chuckled. “But everyone knew I was gone over you. I am surprised that no one spilled the beans.”

Kat laughed. “Much like the last eleven days.”

“Oh I told them I wouldn’t hesitate to kill them and bury their body if they spoke a word about the last eleven days with you.” Jack chuckled, shaking his head.

She threw her head back and belly laughed. “Jack Kelly, that’s awful.”

“I wanted to make sure those idiots didn’t ruin the surprise for you.” He defended his actions. “But there’s more to come - you’ve got one more day left.”

Her eyes lit up at that. “Any hints?”

“Maybe . . . . do you want to know?” Jack asked, as they stepped onto her street.

Biting her lip, she shrugged. “If it’s going to ruin anything, no I don’t want to know. If it’s not, then sure.”

“We’re going to one of your favorite holiday places tomorrow.” Jack grinned. “That’s your clue, do with it what you will.”

Filing the piece of knowledge away for later, she nodded. “I’m really looking forward to it. But you know this blows anything that I got you out of the water, right?”

“It’s not a competition, Kat.” He raised his eyebrows. “But I wouldn’t sell yourself short.”

She paused in her step, causing her arm to be ripped from the crook of his arm. “What do you mean by that?”

“Not uh, Kat. You’re not getting anymore from me.” He chuckled, stopping at the bottom of her apartment stairs. Giving her a look, he held out his hand. “Now I believe you have something that belongs to me.”

Digging in her bag, she grabbed the notebook, handing it over to him. “Thank you. Be ready by eight tomorrow morning and dress warmly.”

“Eight is awfully early, Jack.” She raised an eyebrow.

He chuckled. “Just be ready. I’ll bring coffee and I’ll see you then. I love you.”

Pushing onto her tiptoes, she leaned forward giving him a kiss. “I love you too and I’ll be ready.”

“Have a good night, Kat. See you in the morning.” He stole one more kiss before he headed down the street, back to his own apartment. She watched him until she couldn’t see him anymore. Shaking her head, she let her mind reflect back on the past few hours and just laughed. Anytime she spent with Jack would never, ever be bored, that’s for sure.

#Newsies #Newsies Fan Fiction #writing #Newsies Holiday Fic #jack x katherine #Twelve Days of Holly Jolly Tidings

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unluckycl0v3r · 4 years

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Queenie x Reader: A Winter Wonderland

A/N: OH my god, this is probably as late as it could possibly be. I will not spare you any excuses because it honestly does not matter, just know that your request has been deeply appreciated. I loved this request so much and I struggled a lot with this concept, mostly because I haven’t written anything like this before. Plus Queenie is such a complex character to write that it amazes me that I was even able to do this. Despite the fact you may have forgotten this request, or you’re just some stranger looking for some late night reads, I truly hope you enjoy this. BTW, if you don’t know, I started writing this in like July and finished about 90% of it. I have just finished this 10%. Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and Happy New Year’s everybody!!

Requested by: @badeeaswife you are a lovely human being I hope you know

Warnings: Mentions of homophobia, mentions of abuse nothing too graphic I don’t even think there’s cursing in this. This is supposed to be a stupid fluffy Christmas story xD. Also the last 10% isn’t edited lol I’m sorry I’m lazy and ig that counts as a warning

Walking into the dining area of the orphanage in which you live and work in, the kids you take care of are a little rowdier and louder than they usually are. A smile was brought to your face when you realize exactly why, the news finally broke out to the kids. Of course, the other staff and head of the orphanage could no longer hold the news.

“Settle down, kids, settle down.” You said softly as you stand in front of the room where everyone could see you. The kids quieted down, a few whispers still lingered but that never bothered you, and their eyes found yours. “Yes, the news is true. This year we will be holding our very own winter formal!” The orphanage was erupted in cheers and your smile brightened, along with the other staff in the room. When the room quieted again, you continued, “We have found the funds to have our own theme for the dance, and found volunteers at a close by no-maj school to come in and help out!” More cheers came from the room and all the hard work you put in the past few months have fully been worth it for this reaction.

A few years ago after growing up your whole life in an orphanage, you decided to invest in your own orphanage to help avoid the abuse you experienced and witnessed. It would be the first orphanage to home kids of magical background. It was a hard investment considering you were a woman, but you weren’t always alone to take care of everything. With your friend William Tran who helped with funds and investments, you found the staff to give your children an education of magic and no-maj lessons you found important, and cooks to give your children meals. At first it started off very small with one or two children you had to take care of with your friend, but it soon turned into a huge facility. The number of children were still relatively small, just around thirty, and throughout all the years you have had no luck in finding much funds to plan fun events for the kids. Though, as your facility grows, you began receiving more funds and even some donations! After some raising some donations and keeping the secret from the kids for months as to not get their hopes up, you were finally able to officially plan a winter formal dance for your kids.

“It is all ages, so even our little ones can come, but only our year 8’s are able to have dates.” You clear up politely and find a table with the staff to finish your breakfast. You made it all ages because you weren’t sure if you were able to do this every year. You wanted to have something special for everybody there. You felt the kids deserved this, especially the older ones.

Being an orphan yourself, you knew the hardships it came from being tossed around from one severely religious orphanage to another. It came with shame and abuse, and you knew once you became smart enough and old enough that you couldn’t let another kid face those same hardships. Especially those with magical abilities such as yourself. So with William Tran, you created your very own safe place for children.

Your orphanage was growing again because the magical school near your home was letting out for winter break and the kids there with no home will be coming back to spend winter break with you. You understand how disappointing it is to come to a place with no family of your own, and feeling left out. You can’t personally get every child a gift of their own, so you thought at the very least you could give them a celebration to remember.

That afternoon, with some volunteers at your orphanage, you and the staff make your way to the no-maj school that has offered up their gymnasium for winter break. Some of the staff greeted you with smiles and hugs that made everyone feel so welcome and they wasted no time taking out their supplies to help with decorations. Somehow decorating was one of the most difficult things of this whole event because it’s the part you wanted to be perfect for the kids.

For hours everyone put up streamers, fairy lights, and props to make the gymnasium feel like the perfect winter formal. By the evening when the sun started to set, it was decided they would continue tomorrow. With the actual dance looming only a week away, you start becoming nervous about it. When you get back to the orphanage, you sit at the desk in your room and start brainstorming what food and drinks to serve there within the budget. You wanted your children to be absolutely spoiled this winter.

The next few days feel like blurs between supervising and putting together the dance. You are pretty much a mess when it’s almost 8 in the evening and it’s completely dark out, starting to snow outside, and you’re still in the gymnasium of the no-maj school when your friend and colleague comes up behind you.

“It’s getting late, (y/n)” He says and you jump in surprise, almost falling from the ladder you were standing on and dropping the decorations you were holding. You blushed in embarrassment from being so startled and get off the latter to collect the items you dropped. Will drops down next to you to help.

“I know, but I’ll stay back just a little longer.” You promise and Will gives you a wry smile.

“You’ve been working non stop for these kids, (Y/N/N). Have you done anything for yourself recently?” You look at him quizzically, not understanding the problem he was concerned with. Sure, you worked hard and long, but you aren’t burnt out yet. Nervous, sure, but not very overwhelmed. Soon over half of your kids will be leaving again for school and you want to give them a break to remember.

“Something for myself? Like what?” It was a rhetorical question, you weren’t actually concerned in what you could be doing for yourself. It was one of the things that were never your concerned with in the first place. But of course what comes with a question will always be followed up with an answer.

“Like… do you know what you’re wearing for this formal you’re spending so much time on preparing?” Will asks, and his handsome face is scrunched up waiting for an answer. He hasn’t shaved his face since yesterday and blonde stubble is coming in on his chin. His hair is combed back and he’s dressed relatively nice. You realize that you actually haven’t thought about what you would wear or your actual involvement in the formal, which was now tomorrow. William saw the panic set into your face as your eyes widened.

“Oh, shoot! I don’t know what to wear!” You shout and begin pacing back and forth from where you stood. Will laughed at your melodramatic attitude and grabbed you by the shoulders to steady you. Your breathing has quickened, and Will desperately hopes you won’t fall into your episodes of hyperventilating.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” Will soothes, rubbing his hand along the forearm comfortingly. “I know someone who can help.”

“What? Who?” Your voice is strained and you’re trying not to cry. You focused so much on the event being perfect you forgot to make yourself perfect too. You are the face of this dance. You don’t want people thinking you don’t care about this event just because you weren’t able to get dressed up. But here Will is, stress free and smiling comfortingly.

“Her name is Queenie Goldstein and she’s an old friend of mine. She’s very talented. It’s almost like she can read your mind.” You start to calm down significantly as Will gives you this information.

“What about cost? How much am I having to pay?” Will shakes his head and his smile widens.

“Don’t worry about that.” You begin to argue but he cuts you off. “I’ll call her tonight and she can work on you tomorrow.

“But that’s not enough time!” You say, starting to worry again.

“(Y/N), she’s magic. It’ll be done just in time for the dance.” He assures you and you finally nod in agreement to his plan. Even more reluctantly, he had you clean up and out of the school sooner than you would have liked to. “Everyone will get the dance set up in plenty of time tomorrow.” Then ushers you into his car to drive you home and put you to bed as if you were a toddler. You would be angry, but secretly you liked feeling taken care of like this. You wouldn’t admit it, but he made you feel safe and comfortable. So, that night you slept better than you have all week barely worried for when you had to meet this mysterious woman in the morning.

The next morning you wake up just before dawn as you usually do and continue with your morning routine as usual, the anxiety of meeting this Queenie still in the back of your mind. You’re starting to get antsy, but try not to push Will, you don’t want to seem panicked like yesterday. Finally, after waking up at the kids in the morning and serving them breakfast, Will comes up to you with the same easygoing smile he always carries.

“Queenie is ready to see you.” He informs, slipping you a piece of paper with her address on it.

“Now?” You ask as if you haven’t been waiting for this all morning and were inconvenienced.

“Hurry along, she’s a busy woman.” He winks at you and sits back at his table to finish breakfast. You try not rush your eating since you try to be an example for the kids, but you can’t help it when you end breakfast just a few minutes early and usher the kids to their usual chore schedule. Of course, you let them off early to prepare the dance and assigned certain staff to watch over certain kids, so it wasn’t a problem that you up and left everyone. Plus, you were sure Will would keep things from going up in flames. He has always been able to think on his feet during disasters.

Finally arriving at the apartment that Will had written on the paper, you were about to knock on the door when it swings wide open. You were taken aback by it, but then completely starstruck when the woman behind the door smile a dazzling smile that had you practically drooling. This woman… how could you even describe her? She was slim and graceful, radiating such a calm… almost hypnotizing aura. Her hair was light blonde and curly hair that came just to her chin, and she had one dimple on one of her cheeks. It made her seem even more charming. Then there were her eyes… they were like an emerald jewel glistening in the sun. She was definitely the most magnificent woman you had ever laid your eyes upon. You saw Queenie’s cheeks tint pink as her beautiful and luscious, pink lips stretched as she began to speak.

“Hello, dear. You must be, (Y/N)?” She kept her smile big and tight and blinked at her a few times.

“Yes, I’m (Y/N), and you’re Queenie? The mind reading dressmaker?” A giggle escaped Queenie at your joke seemingly before you even spoke it, but it didn’t weird you out since the only thing you could focus on was how beautiful the sound was. You wanted to record it and play it like music. Oh, god, you wanted to run away. You wanted to close the door and run away because it was specifically these thoughts that made you suffer growing up. The shame and the guilt crashes down on you as you take in Queenie’s beauty, and you see Queenie’s smile falter for a second before turning up sympathetically and placing her hand on your arm.

“Come in, honey. We have a lot of work to do before that cute little dance of yours.” Her smile was welcoming and it made you even more guilty for things you were thinking. You felt like she was now a victim to your criminalizing thoughts. She didn’t seem as distraught as you as she gently laid her hand on your arm and pulled you into the apartment.

The apartment is bright and elegantly spacial as Queenie lead you past the livingroom and kitchen and brings you into a smaller room filled with cloth with mirrors and measuring tapes. Queenie leads you onto a light colored wooden stand that faces three mirrors. Looking at yourself, you feel suddenly embarrassed and look away before noticing the small blush that creeps onto your face.

“Hm, what color, what color?” Queenie hums to herself as multicolored cloth is seen flying by your heads. “Oh yes, of course!” You don’t understand how she already knows what color to make your dress, but she continues focusing anyhow. You hear sewing machine turn on itself as cloth floats over to it and sews itself up.

“So, how do you know Will?” You decide to ask once you feel comfortable staring at your shoes, so you don’t have to stare at yourself or the beautiful woman standing behind you. If you could see her, you’d see that a reminiscent smile finds its way onto her lips that shows her cute little dimple.

“We dated many moons ago. He was a sweet boy.” She says softly and you feel your stomach drop. You feel disappointed, but you can’t really place as to why. Suddenly you feel a slim arm wrap around your waist and the young woman’s hands gently caressing your stomach. You look down to see a light colored measuring tape, but the touch still made you blush. “Don’t worry, darling. That’s long over now. No more competition for you.” Queenie pulls her hand back and gently touches your waist as she does so. It makes you shiver and the words make your stomach do flips. A floating clipboard and pen floats next to the both of you, jotting down your measurements. It feels like she can read your thoughts

“He talked about you a lot, you know. He felt like a protective older brother.” You smile at Queenie’s words, remembering you and Will as young kids trying to make it through together. Queenie then measured down your body and the width of your arm.

“He always felt like a protective older brother. I always felt safer when he was around.” The beautiful young woman behind you smiles from your smile you two seem to share a moment. You looking at her and her looking at you, and it feels like you both are falling into each other. The stare makes you feel lightheaded and you can’t decide whether it’s from her drowning stare or if you’re dehydrated. Oh, you’re dehydrated, alright. All the water is in her eyes and you want to drink it all up.

Queenie coughs into her arm to break eye contact and you see a hint of pink on her cheeks. “So, Ms. (L/N), do you have a date for your dance tonight?” By now the sewing machine in the room is going rampant and the lady behind you is doing nothing but twirling your hair very lightly and holding your shoulder, the yellow tape still in her hand. You clear your throat and smile.

“It’s not my dance to bring a date.” You answer cripictly

“Oh, but you want to bring a date, don’t you?” You can see Queenie through the large mirrors in front of the two of you and you see her smile brighten and her hands on your shoulders tightened. Yes, of course you do. “Yes, of course you do!” She giggles, speaking the words right out of your head. You’re so taken aback that you blush darkly.

“I never said that.” You turn to look back at her again defensively, and she only giggles again.

“Who is he?” She’s about to answer her own question with a guess, but stops herself short and gasps. “It’s… not a he, is it?” You’re blushing again and you suddenly feel very hot. How does she know? She couldn’t know…

“I have to go.” You say suddenly, barely above a whisper, as you tear away from her grasp and start for the door. You don’t see the troubled, almost offended, look that falls upon Queenie’s face.

“But your dress isn’t ready!” She exclaims feeling anxious and horrible for making you feel uncomfortable. She follows you out of the room and through the main hall.

“I’ll pick it up when it is.” You say louder, more definitive and confident than before.

“Hey, please wait.” Queenie pleads and reaches for your hand. Even though she hardly grabs you, you stop and turn to look at her. Your confidence immediately crumbles to shame as you look down to avoid her eyes. Those wretched eyes trying to pull you in. Like a tide, you try to avoid its’ current.

“Hey, it’s okay.” She soothes, you close your eyes when you feel her fingertips lightly pull the hair away from your face. It’s so soft and comforting you almost leaned into the touch. “No, there’s nothing wrong with you.” She reassures you, moving her hand so her thumb now gently caresses your cheek. “Of course I’ll go with you. I was hoping you’d ask.”

You furrow your eyebrows quizzically and open your eyes to find her smiling sheepishly. “How did you-?”

“Legilimency.” She answers directly. Your cheeks darken again and you smile, a dark chuckle coming from you.

“So, you knew.” It wasn’t a question. Despite her attempt at reassurance, you still felt ashamed for the strong feelings for this woman.

“No, not at first.” She said honestly, dropping her hand from your cheek when she feels she’s offended you. You feel her hand trail down your arm and when she gets to your hand, her fingers play with yours. Cautious, like she’s waiting for your reaction. You don’t give one. “I could hear some thoughts, but for awhile I thought they were about Will.” She drops her hand completely this time and she looks almost nervous. “But maybe I was just blind from my sudden attraction to you as well.”

A silence falls upon the two of you, but it’s not awkward. It’s another moment when your eyes meet hers and you can’t help but smile. “This isn’t weird?”

Queenie seems so genuine when she holds your hand and looks into your eyes then says, “No, this isn’t wrong.” Because she knows the question you’re really thinking and she also feels the same way about how everyone will react when they find out.

“Then, no mind reading help anymore,” You start, and she smiles when she resists herself from correcting you. “Will you be my date to the Winter Formal?”

“Well, my, my, I have never been more honored to accompany you.” A ding from the sewing room was heard along with the silence from the machine. “Ooh! Your dress is ready!”

You had arrived to the winter formal a few hours before the dance was supposed to begin to make sure everything was in order. The minute you walk in, you were amazed. The room looked so much better than you could have ever imagined. Starting with fairy lights hung all across the ceiling, and paper snowflakes hanging all over. The food trays were being brought in with all the goodies one could want. The kids were being fed dinner before the formal so you wouldn’t have to worry about them being hungry either. A live band was being hired for the event and where he was going to perform was currently being set up. You were so proud of the event you were holding and so excited for the kids to be able to experience this.

As the kids began to arrive, the winter formal seem all the more magical, despite the fact that most of it was done without magic. The only problem was the dance has been going on for an hour and you’re still alone. You tried not to be too disappointed by that, but watching the other kids dance around with their dates made you feel all the more lonely. Not only that, but if Queenie did show up, what would the kids say about her? It’s not she ever discussed her sexuality to her kids or any kind of romance for that matter.

You tried to rationalize in your head that even if your date stood you up, at least your kids wouldn’t hate you for your sexuality. That made you relax some, and you enjoyed seeing everybody dance around so happily.

“What are you doing standing here all alone?” You turn your head to find Will standing next to you. You return your gaze to the dance floor.

“I could ask you the same thing.” Will chuckled and smiled a bit.

“Well, may I have this dance then?” Will stands in front of you and offers his hand. Part of you is reluctant, mostly because you were saving yourself. Then you realized that if she wasn’t coming you’d be wasting all your time moping about it.

“Oh, why not?” You decided and took his hand. He leads you to the middle of the dance floor where he proceeds to hold your hand with one hand, and put his other hand at your waste. You placed your hand on his shoulder and begin to dance.

“I hope you aren’t too upset with Queenie. Sometimes she isn’t too good with plans.” He reassures and you’re reminded that he has had personal experience with her. He knows more about her than you ever will.

“It’s quite alright. Nothing to fret about too much.” You shrug, and you meant it. It wasn’t like a super serious date. You asked her way last minute so technically she has the right to not show up.

“Look at you, always being the strong type.” Will gives you a warm smile and suddenly you’re filled with warmth and magic that only Christmas can provide. Suddenly, will turn around and for a split second you’re confused, until you see who’s behind him.

“Pardon my interruption, but I believe you’re dancing with my date.” There she was. Standing just behind Will was the most beautiful woman you had ever laid your eyes upon. She looked absolutely miraculous with her golden, curly hair pinned up against her head, wearing a tight red dress with a floral pattern etched in the lacing and the skirt of her dress hanging just below her waist, and read high heels to finish the look. You were stunned, starstruck, when you saw her.

“Yes, of course, my apologies.” Will steps aside and Queenie steps forward in her place.

“I hope you didn’t think I’d bail on you, honey.” Her voice sounded sweet, drenched in sugar, and you were hypnotized by her eyes once again.

“I’m not going to lie, I was a bit afraid of that.” You admitted then she gave you a sympathetic smile and cupped your cheek with her hand, softly caressing it with her thumb.

“I’d never leave you stranded like that.” Warmth and goosebumps traveled all through your body, and you felt like you were flying. Queenie then leaned down and placed a chaste kiss to your lips as you closed your eyes. Her lips were so soft and tasted so sweet that you instantly wanted more, but she pulled away. It was as if there were no kids, there was no dance, and it was just you and Queenie dancing idly under the sparkling snowflakes. You couldn’t have asked for a better Christmas gift.

A/N: Yes, I’m sorry this was soooo long, but I hope what lacked in time was made up for in content. Again, I really hope you enjoyed, and if anyone would like a request then please leave one. Even if it takes me 6 months to write. I love you all thank you for taking the time to read this <3

#request #fanfiction #imagines #fantastic beasts #fantastic beats and where to find them #queenie #queeniexreader #Harry Potter #harry potter fandom #Harry Potter fic

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weconqueratdawn · 6 years

Text

Kowalski’s #6 ~ Gradence fic

Original!Percival Graves/Credence Barebone Teen & up Fluff, awkward flirting, drunk texting, first kiss, holidays, found family

Fic Summary: Where Credence finds solace in baking and a washed-up Percy finds solace in Credence. A super self-indulgent pile of dating fluff (rating to go up considerably btw) with some food porn as a sweet bonus.

Chapter Summary: It’s Christmas and Percy is away visiting his mother. Credence gets advice from Queenie, concerns from Tina, help from Jacob, and some slightly-drunk messages from Percy.

read from the beginning on ao3

it has been Quite Some Time since i updated this O.o

more to come next week, and i have plenty of ideas for where this is going so expect further updates in the near future

Thanks to @pangaeastarseed for knowing exactly what to say to spark off more of this fic :)

(there’s more below the cut, in case it isn’t working *side-eyes tumblr*)

The bakery was closed over the main holiday period - from Christmas Eve, right the way through until New Year. It was the only reliable vacation time Queenie and Jacob could get and, with the rest of the neighbourhood businesses shut down too, no one seemed to mind they couldn’t place a last-minute order for forty cupcakes or demand a non-fat hazelnut cappuccino in a hurry as they were late for a meeting. To those who knew it, the city was changed - people went to visit family elsewhere or withdrew into their own small circles. It was quieter, less rushed; New York was on hold.

Credence thought about the kiss all the time. Percy had aimed it squarely at his cheek; his own had brushed the corner of Credence’s mouth, stubble regrown enough from the morning’s shave to scratch. And he’d lingered, just a little, one hand cupping Credence’s shoulder.

Credence had stood there rather stupidly; he couldn’t remember what he’d said or done straight after. Hopefully he’d managed to smile, or at least look happy about being kissed.

He remembered Percy’s warm brown eyes, though. That was all he could think of, as Percy had said his goodbyes and walked away.

Tina had been waiting for him inside, trying to look like she wasn’t. That had been nice - to have someone to tell everything to, what they’d said and done. Credence did his best but was sure it lost something in the re-telling - it was hard to describe the special quality of sharing doughnuts in the car or Percy’s patience while Credence chose food colourings. He didn’t mention Percy’s unexpected anger over the engine trouble. Or the kiss on the doorstep - it was Queenie who dragged that part out of him.

“And then?” she’d said, the next day, when he’d told her the same as Tina. “Come on, honey, don’t leave anything out.”

Credence hadn’t known what to say; he’d just flushed and fallen silent.

A delighted grin broke out on Queenie’s face. She clapped her hands together, and said, “Oh. I just knew it!”

Several customers looked up from their phones, newspapers, and conversations. Credence shushed her. “It wasn’t really like that,” he said. “It was just…You know. Nice. Friendly.”

“Friendly,” she said, waving her hand scornfully. “I know friendly. That man hasn’t stopped making eyes at you since you first handed him a cup of coffee.”

Credence knew that wasn’t quite true; he’d been painfully invisible to Percy for quite some weeks until he’d plucked up the courage to speak to him.

He reminded Queenie of this, and in turn she reminded him how hard he’d worked to be invisible.

“You didn’t want to be seen, so you weren’t,” she said. “Now you’ve changed your mind, look what’s happened - he can’t take his eyes off you. Honey, the thing you have to decide now is - what next? How much do you want him to see, and how badly do you want him to?”

Which had indeed given Credence pause for thought.

He knew their date had been an odd one, and that Percy’s behaviour had been less than perfect. The television had told him dates should be romantic; they usually involved flowers and restaurants, kissing in the backs of taxis, being invited upstairs for something that pretended to be coffee. Tina’s face when he’d described it had told him plenty; she’d looked bemused and worried by turns, hiding it all under a well-meaning smile.

But Credence couldn’t help feeling it had been just right, somehow. He didn’t think he could even do the other kind of date; having to remember to do and say the right thing, put away the parts of himself that others would find difficult. He was quiet, prone to sudden silences. There were innocent questions about himself he wouldn’t want to answer. The time he’d spent with Percy had been flawed, yes, but it had been real. And easy; he’d been able to be himself.

Percy had come into the bakery one final time before it closed, to tell him his mother expected him to visit for Christmas. “Summoned,” he’d said, smiling. “Irascible old witch.” Credence had suddenly wanted to ask about her, about Percy’s family, his childhood, everything. But they only had a few minutes together - the café was crammed and Credence had customers to serve. No time for another kiss, either, but Percy had given him that warm look again, squeezed his shoulder, and promised he would hear from him soon.

And he’d kept his promise. To have Percy’s number in his phone was still new; Credence had spent quite some time looking at it, wondering if he should put it to use. The only messages they’d shared (a grand total of four) were to arrange the Kraft-Mart trip and no others had followed. But, now that Percy was somewhere upstate, every day brought a new message, often more than one. Sometimes Credence woke to find messages sent late the night before, at two, three, even four in the morning.

was made to go antiquing today, never been so bored, but i could see you liking it

mother’s cronies all turned up with cake and gingerbread - literally anything that could be iced. they’re arguing over whose is best so made me judge. your expertise is sorely missed.

have you ever been trapped in a room with a dozen merry widows and a bucket of eggnog?

if i don’t make it back alive, remember me fondly

and as the most of handsome man of your acquaintance

And again, about mid-morning:

what i wouldn’t give for a cup of your coffee right now

Credence spent a good portion of each morning tucked cosily up in bed, trying to decide how to respond. Each little insight was treasured; he tried to match the light-and-breezy tone but knew he fell desperately short. There were things he wanted to say instead - the kind of things Queenie had provoked him to examine - but it never seemed to be the right time.

Christmas Day itself was a strange one. Jacob, Tina and Queenie had asked him repeatedly if he wanted to do something but he honestly didn’t know. It had never been a celebration for him; no presents, no decorations, no family gathering around the table. Only church, twice a day, to pray for the souls of those infected by pagan wickedness. Peace on earth and goodwill to all men was not something his mother had encouraged or even practiced.

In the end, it was decided to spend the day together in a kind of non-religious family celebration. Queenie and Jacob made a special dinner and they spent the afternoon watching movies and the evening playing games. Credence was able to ignore his lingering unease and join in quite convincingly.

Percy was a hot topic of discussion, no matter how much Credence tried to change the subject. It didn’t help that his phone kept buzzing or that, every time it did, his hand twitched involuntarily towards it. Queenie kept biting her lip to hold in her eagerness. Tina merely looked curious, and Jacob oblivious.

“Is that him, honey?” Queenie asked, all innocence. “Is he having a good time?”

“Where did you say his mother lived?” Tina said. “Somewhere upstate, wasn’t it?”

Faced with two fronts of questioning, there wasn’t much Credence could do to avoid replying. “I think so,” he said to Queenie. “And I don’t know,” he said to Tina. “I- I didn’t ask, he just said upstate.”

Tina frowned a little. “What about his job - what does he do for a living?”

Queenie nudged her sharply and tried to cause a distraction by handing out more cookies.

Tina rubbed her side, glaring at Queenie. “I just mean,” she said, turning to Credence, “I don’t really know him. I only saw him that one time and I’ve never spoken to him - I’m trying to figure out what he’s like, not pry.”

“Your version of ‘not prying’ has too much in common with New York City’s finest,” Queenie said. “Let Credence have a little fun.”

“We never really talked about work,” Credence admitted.

What he didn’t add was that he had the sense Percy wanted to discuss it about as much Credence wanted to talk about his scarred wrists. There was an air of disappointment about him, and he knew Tina had correctly scented a mystery. And when Tina did that she was unlikely to let go until it was solved.

Surprisingly, it was Jacob who came to Percy’s defence.

“All I know is he comes in every day to see Credence,” he said. “As much as I’d like to believe it’s for my grandmother’s paczkis, I know when a man is thinking of his belly and when he’s thinking of his heart.”

Jacob pointedly reached for Queenie’s hand and kissed it; she made a soft happy sound and her smile was radiant. Credence didn’t know anyone who smiled so much, especially not when they meant it as genuinely as she did. It still amazed him that he’d managed to find such uncomplicated happiness, so willingly shared, and exactly when he’d needed it most.

Then, two things happened at once.

Credence’s phone, ignored during the double-pronged interrogation, began to ring silently. The last message, still unread, said: you able to talk?

And Tina, with a regretful tone, said, “Yes, but are you quite sure he’s thinking with his-”

“Oh,” Credence said, interrupting her. “It’s him, he’s calling me.”

Queenie beamed at him. “Well, don’t keep him waiting, sugar.”

Credence slipped quietly out of the room, studiously avoiding everyone’s eyes. He went into the bathroom and shut the door before answering.

“Merry Christmas, gorgeous,” said Percy’s voice. It sounded quite shocking, so close to his ear. “Did you have a nice day?”

Credence sank onto the floor, his back to the wall. He was unsure how to respond to that - ‘hello’ didn’t really seem like enough.

Percy spoke again before he could gather himself. “Sorry, my mother has a lot of very good brandy and I might’ve had a touch too much. If you knew her, though, you’d excuse me entirely.” There was a brief pause, a crackle on the line which might have been a sigh. “I don’t regret calling you gorgeous, though.”

Out of nowhere, Credence started to laugh, hard. He brought his knees to his chest and hugged them until it subsided. Hearing Percy’s voice again fixed something he hadn’t known was wrong; his laughter came from relief and pleasure and other, more complicated, feelings.

Percy chuckled in his ear. Credence tipped his head back against the wall and looked at the ceiling without seeing it.

“I think I missed you,” he said. It was much easier to say so on the phone; easier than writing it in little letters which would be there every time he looked at Percy’s messages. “No, I know I did. I only just realised it.”

He could hear the smile in Percy’s voice. “Well, that’s good news,” said Percy. “I missed you, too. You would’ve been a welcome presence today - your company’s very peaceful, did you know that? Far too many people here, too many voices and absolutely none I want to hear. Tell me about your day - did you do anything special?”

“Queenie and Jacob cooked,” Credence said. “She insisted, so all of us had dinner. I’m here now, hiding in the bathroom while they pretend not to listen.”

“Ahhh, New York apartments,” Percy said. “How nice it is to live alone. You must have been well fed, then?”

Credence laughed again. “Correct,” he said. “But, I don’t know, it was weird too. I’m not used to any of this.”

“The holiday stuff?” Percy asked. “Or is this a family thing?”

Credence sighed. “Both.” It was hard to explain, even to Percy. He was grateful to his friends but felt guilty for not enjoying it more. Instead, he heard himself say, “I think Tina and Queenie are arguing about you.”

“About me?”

“Yeah,” Credence said. “I mean, you know Queenie, but Tina’s kind of cautious. And she’s been protective of me ever since- Ever since I met her.”

There was a short silence where Credence cursed himself for almost bringing that up and waited fearfully for Percy to probe deeper.

But he didn’t. “I can see her point, actually,” he said. “In her place I might feel the same.”

“I don’t think it’s personal,” Credence said. “I guess she hasn’t met you. Not that I think you should meet her or anything - just, she’s a cop, she thinks a certain way.”

“A cop, eh?” Percy said. “But, seriously, it’s good she’s looking out for you. I’m glad.”

There was another silence. Credence wished very hard he could do light-hearted conversation like a normal person - he hadn’t meant for this to take such a turn. And now they were at a dead-end and he didn’t know how to get them out of it.

He wondered instead if Percy wanted to look out for him, too, or if he’d made himself sound like too much work to bother with.

“I regretted not getting you a gift today,” Percy said, suddenly. “I would’ve enjoyed thinking of you opening it this morning.”

“Oh,” Credence said. “That’s okay, I told everyone I didn’t want any.”

“No presents at all?” Percy said, in mock outrage. “Terrible. Impermissible. Not on my watch.”

Credence laughed at him, and felt some of his worries lift.

“How about this, then?” Percy said. “It turns out I did buy you one, but was too late to send it. So you can have it next time I see you. When does the bakery reopen?”

“On the second,” Credence said. “But no, really, you don’t have to. And I haven’t got anything for you.”

Percy laughed. “I nearly said something about your company being the only gift I need but that’s too cheesy, even for me. But what about all those delicious edibles you keep giving me? I think the scales are tipped too far in your favour - it’s time I evened it up a little.”

“Well,” Credence said, “I guess so?”

“I know so,” Percy said, firmly. “I’ll see you on the second.”

So, that had been that. Percy had asked if he could call again, which simultaneously caused Credence’s stomach to twist into knots and a gigantic smile to spring to his face. He might not be much good at talking on the phone but he wouldn’t have missed the nervous thrill of it for anything.

The rest of his holiday was spent in an easier frame of mind - enjoying it seemed less complicated now Christmas had passed. It helped that the curiosity he faced was rather more patient and, after he’d shared news of the present, a little more satisfied, too.

Opening day at the bakery was very quiet - the last thing anyone wanted was more pastry or hot drinks with extra cream. A few office workers came in for coffee first thing, and Queenie assembled a few salads for them to take back to their desks for lunch. The cold weather kept nearly everyone else away - temperatures had been freezing for the past few days and everyone was expecting snow. So when Percy came in, sometime in the early afternoon, the place was empty.

Credence tried not to smile too eagerly at him but his face wouldn’t obey. But Percy grinned back at him just as widely, so Credence decided it didn’t matter. He carried with him a large paper bag.

“I just got back,” he said, placing it carefully on a stool. “So I hope you’ve got some extra-hot coffee for me - I think the car heater’s bust.”

Credence set to work and tried to sneak glances at him out of the corner of his eye. He did look a little travel-crumpled, particularly underneath his heavy coat and scarf. The creases in his shirt matched the ones around his eyes; maybe he’d had to get up early for the drive back.

“Now,” Percy said, once he’d taken a long pull of coffee and seated himself at the counter. “I promised you something, so here it is.”

He put the bag in front of him and pushed it towards Credence.

Credence smiled helplessly again, and said, “You really didn’t have to, you know.”

“That’s the whole point of a gift, isn’t it?” Percy said. “I know I didn’t have to, I want to.”

Credence looked inside the bag - it contained something large wrapped in tissue paper. It was heavy, too - he hauled it out and set it on the counter before opening the paper.

Opposite him, Percy shifted nervously. “I was more confident when I was full of brandy,” he said. “If you don’t like it, just say. I can get you something else.”

Credence found himself looking at a big copper crown; a Victorian cake mould.

“I found it while bored out of my skull antiquing. I don’t know if you can use it or if you’d even want to…” Percy stopped, and then said, “Is it stupid? It’s stupid, isn’t it.”

Credence blinked at him and looked at the cake mould again. It was beautiful; perfect. And he thought Percy might be perfect, too. Which answered at least part of Queenie’s question.

“It’s not stupid,” he said, and leaned across the counter.

This time it was him who kissed Percy, and quite deliberately on the mouth.

Read on ao3 here

previous chapters on tumblr: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

ko-fi | what is weconqueratdawn up to?

#gradence #gravebone #percival graves #credence barebone #original percival graves #gradence fic #gradence fanfiction #gravebone fic #gravebone fanfiction #gradence au #gravebone au #fantastic beasts and where to find them #fbawtft #my fic #kowalski's

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excessthoughts · 3 years

Text

Static

16DEC20

Have you seen a TV with no cable cord attached, or a radio not tuned to any channel; that sound you hear is called white noise and the display of the TV in that moment is called snow. Both are the visual and acoustic representation of nothingness. That is what my brain is producing or processing right now, or how its responding to my current environment.

Dad had a little fall while coming out of the loo, he's ok, he grabbed on the coat hanger thingy for balance and it broke. He fell on his hip, mom called me immediately, we picked him up and sat him on the bed. He's ok, atleast he says so, no pain or anything, no visible bruises, he's ok I guess. I love my parents, no doubt in it, but.....now that is a post for a other day.

I can't stop thinking about her, literally, I'm not obsessed, I'm in love, whats the difference? Well, obsession is an unhealthy attachment towards something or someone. Usually how that works is that, whenever you attain that thing or person, a normal person would come back to normal and the obsession that was generated by a want or desire is fulfilled. In short like we say in urdu, "ghar ki murghi daal braber". In terms of a thing, like cigarette or a drug, frequent usage leads to addiction which is bad. But what if we apply that to a person? I'm an idiot, not a psychologist, I speak from my experience and the environment that I grew in. Personally, I got addicted to one person in my life, remember that, yup the first time you lost your appetite. That situation was different though, first of all I was like what 22 23, coming from all boys college, and you found a person, no she found you, she gave her number, she was a semester senior, and I didn't in my wildest dreams thought I had a chance with her. But she made it happen, I was ecstatic, those constant texts, compliments, spending time with each other in uni. The smell of her hair, the way she laughed, the way she stood by and with me in front of everyone with absolutely no shame or embarrassment blah blah blah.......for exactly, I dunno exactly but approximately 4 months? 🤣🤣 yeah, I can't believe I kept a fucking blade in my pocket for a week thinking to "end my miserable existence". Bullshit!

The point isssss i wasn't addicted to HER, I was addicted to the concept of her, of a partner, of someone who would unequivocally stand by my side and have your back. I found that in my friends, y'all know who are.

Anyways got, called for dinner, literally one text from her just calms me the fuck down. God what a woman. Literally I don't want to write anymore 🤣

But I also do, I know this blog is not suppose to chronicle my time with her but here goes 🤪

13Dec20

She agrees to go out with me again, I rushed! I was in bed all day wondering if I would see her again, and I did. Had several things to do but I had to meet her as well, thank God for wonderful khalaaad, he had my back, he returned the speakers and got samosas and rolls from wapda 🤣 i really wanted to give her something again, a rose ofcourse and some chocolates, God that smile, when I gave her the goody bag in the end. Ok ok I'm getting ahead of myself. So khalad told me to go to the phase 5 jalasons instead of valencia, that saved me a ton of time, again amazing khalad.

So I had planned that I will take her somewhere a bit quite where we could talk comfortably, last time that ABCD dude next to us was really loud. So I took her to Mocca in valencia, because its roof top is pretty neat. And yes it was cold, and I didn't put a hat on but it was worth every second. God I couldn't stop looking at her, the light from the side, I saw her eyes properly, they were brown and her pupils were dilated which is actually a good sign, and they were so pretty. She has the kindest eyes, they do have a bit of sadness in them, they are kinda like mine, I dunno, God knows what's her story, its crazy how we haven't talked about each other like our pasts and stuff. It baffles me that she doesn't ask any questions about me, and that kinda scares me of asking her direct questions as well.

I feel like she has pretty high walls built up and she's not sure if she should let me in or not. Or maybe she's just, meh, whatever, not really interested in whatever this is, and doesn't really care or she's just waiting for that admission in Germany, and doesn't want me to get hurt. She has to understand that its tooooo late for that, I would've been devastated the same if I hadn't met her after the wedding.

Anyways, so we talked and talked, well she did i just listened to her, and just looked at her 😍😍 this time all we did was talk about work, I honestly can't remember what else we talked about or what I talked about 😅. Well whatever we did it was fun, I felt she was more comfortable this time, and the best part was she said she had to get back by 8 30 but she didn't, only once she looked at the time, and then at the end I had to tell her that its past 9 and then she said let's go. And also i loooved driving with her, I need to get that stupid window fixed i could barely hear her.

So we come back to where her car was parked and as she exited my car I told her to wait im coming and she said I can go my own, but I had to give her the goody bag. So I opened the first passenger door, I placed it on the seat, and she was like noooooo, and for a moment my heart stopped, and I asked is there an issue taking it home she said she has had too many chocolates, and I was like then ration em, my brain just went floopy and I was saying words that I didn't know I was saying. But in texts she said she can survive the roses because I told her she will have to get used to them.

But then I gathered up some courage, and asked her something that had been bothering me, that if she thought if I was depressive and sad person, she said no, which was a huge relief, bcuz I'm not! AND THEN I told her which I wanted to say for quite sometime, that I'm not infatuated by the time we spent together, the first thing I asked bari after the first dance practice was umama ka kya scene hai, and that I'm not fooling around. Btw bari idiot first reply was amna single hai, I was like what, nigga shut up. Anyways, she just kinda laughed and smiled. God that smile! Her smile is like a fucking window to heaven, it melts you in such a weird way, it brightens up the room, it makes me happy, it has that everything is going to be alright feel to it.

I want to say that to her, how I feel, how she makes me feel, she completes me, she is the missing piece, she is perfect, and I want to spend my life and hereafter with her.

But....there is a chance this may not happen,

now that is a thought that keeps me awake at night,

and makes me loose my appetite.

I don't want to go through that again,

That endless pit of agonising pain.

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